


Hold My Hand

by johnsbleu



Category: John Wick (Movies)
Genre: Drama, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-06
Updated: 2019-09-02
Packaged: 2019-09-12 13:59:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 54
Words: 261,239
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16874178
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/johnsbleu/pseuds/johnsbleu
Summary: You're living in Mill Neck with your two best friends, and one day while at the mailbox, you bump into a mysterious man and his dog.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I've been posting this fic on tumblr for quite some time now but with tumblr's new nsfw guidelines, I've decided to move here. I will still be posting on [tumblr](https://johnsbleu.tumblr.com) though, that is unless my blog gets flagged and/or deleted. Because I'm moving all my chapters from tumblr, it might take awhile for the next chapter to be uploaded, plus I'm still getting used to this site. Please feel free to leave comments and feedback, I'd love to hear what you all think.

As you make your way out to the mailbox, you see a dog running your way, and before you know it, he’s jumping on you, paws on your chest, tail going a mile a minute. You laugh quietly and hear a deep voice calling out to him.

“Bleu, get down!”

The dog’s head snaps toward his owner’s direction and he’s by his side before you can even wipe the dirty paw prints off your shirt. When you look up, you see a tall raven haired man, his shadow cascading over you and blocking the sun from shining on your face.

“I’m so sorry, he’s usually not like this.” he says, leaning down to pat the dog’s belly. He looks down and his hair falls in his face like a curtain.

“It’s okay, he’s pretty cute so I don’t mind,” you say, unsure of whether you mean the dog or his owner.

“John.” he says, stretching out his hand in front of you.

You take it in yours and his calloused fingers brush against the back of your hand causing a tingling feeling all over your body. After supplying your name, you let go and he looks over to the dog who is sitting at his feet with his head tilted back and eyes closed.  

“And this is Bleu.” At the sound of his name the dog looks up at his owner and his tail begins to wag. You lean down so you’re eye level with him and you scratch behind his ear and introduce yourself.

Your friend April pops her head out the front door and calls your name, needing your help with something inside.

“It was nice to meet you,” you smile, reaching out to shake John’s hand once more and you look down towards Bleu, “And you too!”

As you reach to pet him one last time, you notice that John still has a tight grip on your hand. Your eyes meet and you feel yourself blushing. When John notices your cheeks growing more and more red by the second he blinks and lets go of your hand.

“I apologize again for Bleu. I’ll…see you around, I guess.” John’s watching you as you begin to get more flustered.

“Sure.” you nod your head as John starts making his way across the street to his house, and you turn to go inside to see what your friend needs help with.

When you reach the door you yell out to your friends, “You will _not_ believe what just happened.”


	2. Chapter 2

A few days have passed since you met John, but he’s been on your mind ever since. On your way to the mailbox every morning, you make sure to take your time in hopes that he’ll see you and he’ll just happen to come out of his house.

“So, still no sign of him?” April says as you walk in the door.

“Nope, still no sign.” you sigh.

Just as you open your mouth to speak again, you come across a piece of mail addressed to 'John C. Wick', and you gasped so loud, it nearly scares April.

“What?” she grabs the letter from your hand, looking it over, “This is it, this is the perfect way for you to talk to him again, you have to do it. Take this over to his house and maybe he’ll invite you in for coffee, that’s a thing right? That’s a thing people do.”

You grab the pillow from next to you and place it over your face, muffled you start to speak, “I cannot do that, you have no idea how much I _can’t_ do that. He literally just looked at me and I wanted to melt.”

April jumps off the couch and waves her arms getting your attention, “Listen, you’re gonna go upstairs, brush your hair, and put on that cute sweater that you bought that you’ve literally never worn, and you’re going to go over to his house.”

Groaning and sinking into the couch, you finally push yourself up and head up to your room. You pull out the sweater April had mentioned and realize it’s the perfect weather for it. After pairing it with some black leggings and some boots, you walk over to the mirror, giving yourself a once over before applying some mascara to your eyelashes.

“Well here I go, wish me like... _lots_ of luck.”

“You got this, you can do it! I believe in you!” Her voice fades as you close the door behind you.

After taking a moment to calm yourself down, you make your way up his gravel driveway, gasping at the sight of his house. When you reach the door, you notice your hands are shaking and ignoring it, you press the doorbell and patiently wait. 

A few moments later, you hear heavy footsteps coming closer to the door and your heart rate begins to pick up. John opens the door and Bleu pushes past, almost knocking you over. You laugh and look over to see Bleu running in circles in the front yard.

“Hi…” you say in a small voice, but John still hears you and looks at you. You hear yourself begin to trail off, your mouth going a mile a minute, “I think our mail got mixed up, I found this letter for you in our mailbox, and I was just gonna leave it in your mailbox, but I thought ‘well what if he doesn’t know it’s in there and forgets to check it for a few days’, so I just decided I would bring it over myself because you know, it could be important or something. And to be honest, I’m not sure how they even got our names mixed up, they’re not really all that similar.”

A smile starts to spread across John’s face, his eyes scanning your face, and he reaches out to take the letter from you, “Thanks, I don’t know what I would have done without this letter from...” he looks down at the letter inspecting it, “Mayor Heinsburg asking to vote for her re-election.”

You realize in the time that you had the letter you never looked to see what it was for, only noticing his name.

“Would you like to come in? I can make you some tea or something.” he asks, then he backs away and lets you walk past him. Then he calls out to Bleu, who is already running to the door.

You gasp quietly, “You have an amazing house, I love the windows. It’s so...open.”

“Yeah, I like the natural light, I like being able to see everything too." he looks down at you and smiles, "I’ve got a pretty good view.”

You feel his eyes on you, and under his gaze you feel like you’re being inspected. Feeling confident in yourself, you decide to crack a joke.

“So, John C. Wick. What does the 'C’ stand for? Candle?” you smirk knowing the joke is terrible and regret it as soon as it falls from your lips.

He looks at you before letting out a laugh, “No, actually it’s Charles. But Candle would have been good too.” He walks over to the couch and stretches his arm out, “Have a seat, I’ll get you something to drink.”

After a few moments, John emerges from the kitchen with a tray with two cups on it. Deciding to start the conversation back up, you begin to ask about Bleu, asking where he got him and how long he’s had him.

“I’ve had him for a little over two years now, I found him at a shelter. Was about to be put down the next day,” John reaches over your leg to pet the dog, “But thankfully, I found him. He’s helped me get through a lot these past two years.”

You smile at John, then look down at the dog, “Well, that’s good.”

“Have you always lived in Mill Neck?” he asks and when he looks at you, you feel like he has a genuine interest in you.

“No, I just moved here about eight months ago actually. I’m originally from the Mid West.” you shrug, feeling like any detail about you is boring. John shifts and places his arm on the back of the couch.

“So you’re used to this weather?”

“Oh, absolutely. We had some pretty cold days, so this isn’t too bad.” you nod.

You can’t help but notice him staring at you out of the corner of your eye, and so you look at him and smile thinking he’ll stop, but he keeps staring. You lick your lips, noticing that they’ve suddenly become dry, and you take a few sips of your tea hoping it will help with your sudden rush of thirst.

“Well, I should probably let you get back to whatever you were doing. I just wanted to give you that letter.”

Getting up from the couch, you both walk to the door, Bleu trailing close behind. You reach out to touch John’s arm, and when your hand grasps his bicep, you realize how fit he is.

“I’ll see you around.” you smile, and feel John’s eyes burning holes in your back as you leave.

Almost down the driveway, you hear a deep voice calling out to you, and you turn around to see John walking towards you with his hands in his pockets.

“I was wondering…” he says softly, still walking towards you, “Would...you want to go out sometime?”

In shock, or maybe it’s disbelief, you stare at him for a few moments, and the wind picks up, blowing your hair in your face. John reaches out and tucks the strand behind your ear, and the two of you blush at the sudden moment of intimacy.

“Yes, I would like that.” you whisper, and John looks delighted as he takes a step forward, closing the distance between the two of you.

“Tonight, I’ll come by your house at 7.”


	3. Chapter 3

Heading to your room, you quickly hop in the shower and as soon as you step out, you hear voices coming from your bedroom. Putting on your robe, you open the door slightly to see two giddy girls sitting on your bed, laughing.  _April and Tess._

“Well, hello,” you say wrapping your hair in a towel, “What’s up?”

Tess sits up on her knees and smiles, “April told me you talked to that hot guy from across the street.”

You let out a small laugh, “Yeah, his dog ran up to me a few days ago. And this morning a letter addressed to him was in our mailbox -- which is weird, but whatever.”

The girls are staring at you, practically begging for you to keep spilling all the details. You look over at them and they’re hanging onto your every word.

“Okay, what do you want to know?”

“What was his house like? Was he like…flirting with you? Does he smell good?” The questions keep coming.

“Big and open. I don’t know, maybe. And, yes.” you say, answering their questions. Looking at them, you open your mouth to speak when Tess cuts you off and  gestures to your robe.

“So what are you doing right now?”

“Well, he asked me out. I don’t even know where we’re going to be honest, I don’t know what to wear. How do I do my hair? When is he picking me up? We really didn’t think this through.” you huff and sit down on your bed.

“How about this? We’ll set out some outfits, when he shows up we’ll see what he’s wearing and tell you, then you pick something out.”

__

After hours of fussing with your hair and makeup,  picking out multiple outfits, the door bell rings. You suddenly feel sick to your stomach and you sit at your vanity while Tess answers the door. April peeks around the corner to see John walking in with flowers.

“Okay, he’s wearing suit. Not like a three piece, but he’s got on a tie, you must be going somewhere fancy.”

You can hear in her voice that she’s smiling, clearly enjoying this. She looks back at you and watches you get up and walk over to your dresses. You pick out a simple black dress and black heels, hoping it’ll be fancy enough for wherever he’s decided to take you.

“You look amazing!” April’s eyes are as wide as buttons. You look down and shake it off, never knowing how to take a compliment.

You head down the stairs, and you hear Tess already talking John’s ear off. As soon as he sees you, his eyes start to sparkle, a smile tugging at his lips. John walks over and hands you the flowers, and you bring them up to your nose to smell them.

“I’m April, by the way, we haven’t met.” she reaches out her hand to shake his.

“John. Nice to meet you.”

“Well, we should probably go. It’s only 7:15, but we have reservations at 8. And it’s a bit of a drive.” He places a hand on your elbow and it sends shivers down your spine.

“I’ll see you all later.” you smile at Tess and April.

“Please be careful with her John, she’s precious cargo.” Tess says, and John turns around, winking at the girls as he shuts the door behind him.

John helps you into the car and quickly walks to the driver’s side as you buckle yourself in. Once he fastens his seatbelt, he shifts in his seat a little to look at you, “I hope you don’t mind, but the place is in the city, so it’ll take us about 20 minutes to get there.”

__

After what seemed like a two minute drive, you pull up to the restaurant’s valet. John gets out and hands his keys to the young man. He looks down at his hand,  then back at you and smiles.

“Hold my hand.” he whispers, reaching out for your hand.

The hostess brings you to a table tucked away in the back, she’s attractive and keeps flirting with John. You look over at John who is showing no interest whatsoever, and smile to yourself. 

“So, tell me about yourself.” he asks, and suddenly you’ve forgotten everything about yourself.

You swallow hard and try to think of something to say, “Oh, well, I work at a book store." 

John sits up and his eyes are fixed on you, “Is it the book shop on 8th?” 

You look at him and tilt your head as a laugh falls from your lips, “Yeah, it is. Have you been there?”

Reaching into his back pocket, he pulls something from his pocket and places it on the table. You run your finger over the indents on the paper and it reads:  _This book bound by John Wick._

“You restore old books?”

His eyes glisten in the dim lights of the restaurant. He licks his lips and begins telling you how he restores Victorian children’s book, how it takes patience and determination, almost giddy that you have something in common. You watch as he gets animated, and you can tell you really enjoys talking about it. You order your food, eating and laughing like two old friends sharing inside jokes.

__

Not wanting the date to end, John suggests taking a walk down by the river. It’s getting chilly now, and you pull your arms around your chest, regretting not bringing a jacket along. John sees the goosebumps on your arms and without hesitation, he removes his jacket and places it around your shoulders before you can even protest.

"Thanks.” you say, looking up at him and notice how beautiful he looks in the in the light coming off the street lamps. “Sorry, I rarely wear heels anymore,  so my feet are starting to hurt." 

John suggests sitting on the bench nearby, and you plop down next to him. The two of you sit in silence for a few moments and you look over at him.

“Well, Mr. Wick, you know some things about me, it’s your turn.” you say, tapping his thigh. “Where do you work?" 

He begins to squirm on the bench and places his hands in his lap. After a long pause, John clears his throat, “I, uh…just work on the books.”

You look up as you hear a crack of thunder echoes across the river and sprinkles start falling for the sky.

“We should get going.” John gets up and reaches out for your hand and tangles your fingers with his. When you reach the car, rain begins to falling harder on John’s mustang.

"That worked out well.” you joke and look at John who looks lost, deep in his thoughts.  

__

On the way back to Mill Neck, you feel a warm hand reaching out to grab yours, and you look over to see John’s eyes fixed on the road, one hand tightly gripping the steering wheel and the other holding yours. You can’t help but smile when you feel his thumb rubbing your index finger, closing your eyes and leaning your head back on the seat.

Once home, the rain has softened and is now barely sprinkling. He walks you to the door and you stand in silence for a few moments. Brushing your hair out of your face, his thumb grazes your cheek and trails down to your bottom lip.

“I had a really good time tonight.” you manage to choke out and realize you’ve been holding your breath.

John is staring at your lips and he starts to smile, noticing the affect he has on you. He licks his lips and leans forward, and you close your eyes, readying yourself for his lips on yours when you feel his lips, hot and pressed against your forehead.

“I’ll see you later, yeah?” he whispers, and you open your eyes to see him staring at you.

“Y- yeah, I’ll see you later.” You lean against the door to keep yourself from falling over.

You open the door and make your way to your bedroom when you hear his mustang pulling into his driveway across the street. You remove your shoes and sit on your bed placing a hand on your forehead, rubbing the place he had just had his lips. Laying back on your bed, you look over to check the time, 11:53. You start to doze off when you notice April had put the flowers in a vase and placed them on your side table. Smiling to yourself, you drift off still wearing John’s jacket.


	4. Chapter 4

The next week drags on as you’re not able to talk to John. The store is having its annual fall sale on Saturday, and you’ve been busy getting everything ready for the weekend, which luckily you have off. Thankfully, Tess works with you, making the days fun and not as long. It’s a Friday afternoon, and you and Tess are rifling through the books for the sale.

“Hey, I haven’t really gotten the chance to properly ask you, because of all this,” she waves her hands around all the books, “How was your date with John?" 

“It was good.” you sigh and frown. 

You missed him, and the sound of his name made the ache in your chest hurt even more. You hate how quickly you're falling for him.

“Good? That’s it? Come on, tell me more.” Tess begins pushing you, knowing that you’ll give in and tell her everything. Sliding the books aside on the table so she can sit, she looks at you until you finally begin to speak.

“It was really nice, we went to this fancy restaurant that I can’t even _begin_ to imagine how much it cost. The hostess kept giving John looks and flirting with him. Didn’t like that.” you look over at Tess and she’s nodding, encouraging you to keep going. You shift on your feet and pull up a chair sitting down. 

“Keep going!”

“He held my hand, that was pretty cute. Found out he restores books, who knows, he could have some books here. Then, we went for a walk along the river before the rain ruined that." 

You look around the dingy little shop in which you work before you look down and start playing with a loose thread on your sweater. Tess can tell something is bothering you and she scoots closer to you.

"What’s wrong? Oh, my god, was he creepy at the end of the night? I hate when that happens, you think they’re all nice and sweet and then…” she starts rambling on, presumably from past experiences. You let out a laugh and reassure her that she was a perfect gentleman the whole night.

“No, no, no, it was just…when I asked about his job, I don’t know, he seemed a little restrained. It was almost like he wanted to tell me more, but he couldn’t or something.  All he said was that he restored books…” you get up from the chair and distract yourself with your work, “It’s probably nothing, maybe he just hasn’t dated in a while, so he isn’t sure how to talk about himself.“

Tess gets up and grabs a stack of books in her hands, “Don’t be so hard on yourself. He’s totally into you. Remember, I know everything” She winks at you and places them on the table.

__

It’s a little past 2 when the bell above the door alerts you of the customer entering the store.

“I got it.” Tess hops up and heads to the front of the store.

You hear Tess calling your name and as you round the corner, you look up and see John standing looking at some books on the rack. Having no mirror, you fix your hair as best as possible, tucking it neatly behind your ear and walk over to him. When he turns to see you, his face brightens and you can see the adoration in his eyes.

“Hey, what are you doing here?” you ask and he pulls you into a hug. Against his warm chest, you feel safe, and you realize this is the first time you’ve hugged. Backing away so you can look up at him, he looks around your store.

"I just wanted to stop by and ask if you maybe wanted to go with me tomorrow to Central Park. I bring Bleu there sometimes and let him run around. I thought we could pack a picnic.” His dark locks look especially soft and fluffy today, and you want so badly to run your fingers through his hair.

“Yeah, I’d love that.” You feel a smile tugging at your lips and you blush.

“Perfect. I thought you could come by around noon, and we can make some sandwiches to take.” 

He takes a book off the shelf and carelessly flips through it, then places it back where he got it. Then he moves over to you, pulling you into a hug that lasts long enough to cause Tess to clear her throat.

“I’ll see you later.”  he says, with his lips pressed against your head.

"Okay." you nod and watch him leave the shop, and the scent of his cologne lingers in the air after he’s gone.

“He is  _so_  into you,” she starts to fan herself, “I could feel the sexual tension from this side of the counter.” 

You laugh and roll your eyes at her, retreating to the back office to continue divvying up the books for the sale.

__

The next day, you wake up and hop in the shower taking your time to get ready for your date with John. Peeking out the window and checking the weather, you see it’s warm and sunny. 

You pull out a thin sweater and some black leggings, and pull on your favorite boots and give yourself a once over in the mirror. You reach over to your phone and check the time.  _11:46_. You grab your bag and head to the door, knowing you’ll be a little early, but you can help make the food, plus it’s extra time you get to spend with John.

You knock a few times and hear the familiar sound of his footsteps as he makes his way to the door. He opens the door so fast, the sudden rush of air blows his hair away from his face and you notice a light bruise near his hairline. 

“Hey, come in, I was just getting the stuff out for sandwiches.”

When you walk into the bright white kitchen, you see all the fixings for sandwiches laid out on the center island.

“Wow, you really went all out,” you say and John looks over at you. For a moment, he almost looks sad and you reach out to touch his arm reassuring him, “You could have just had peanut butter and jelly, and I would have been fine with that, but this is good too.” 

Packing everything into the wicker basket, which you assume John purposely went out and bought just for today, you grab Bleu’s leash and tuck it under your arm. John grabs a brown leather jacket and puts it on and fishes his keys out of his pocket. 

Opening the door, John gestures to the front porch, “After you…” 

__

After walking for a few minutes, you find a nice little spot under a tree and unfold the blanket that John had packed and sit down. John groans as he sits down next to you and rubs his knee. 

You furrow your brow and look at his knee, then back up at him, “Are you okay?" 

John looks at you, a little shocked that you even noticed him rubbing his knee, "Oh, yeah, it’s nothing. Just work…" 

He looks up and readies himself for your questions. You shrug it off as Bleu starts whining for your attention. He’s growing more and more impatient as he sniffs the wicker basket, knowing there’s a sandwich John had packed for him. John opens the basket and hands you a sandwich, then places Bleu’s down on the grass and he begins to devour it happily.

He looks over at you and perks up, “Favorite flower?”

You pretend to give it a hard thought, tapping your finger on your chin, “Hmm, well, I really love sunflowers and as cliche as it is, I love roses too.”

John looks as if he’s filing all the information away in his mind, “How about your favorite color?”

“Blue. Every shade of blue, really.” 

He nods, agreeing it’s a great color and pats Bleu on his head. There’s a lull in the conversation, and you look over to see a couple getting their pictures taken for what you assume is their engagement announcements. John notices you staring and turns around to see what you’re looking at.

At the sight of the happy couple posing, he clears his throat and it brings you back to him, “Tell me about your family?”

“Well, I grew up with a single mom, no dad.  _Long story_. But I do have 1 brother. They live back home, so I don’t get to see them much, but I talk to my mom quite a bit. I actually told her I was going out on a date today.” 

John smiles to himself and pops the last bit of his sandwich in his mouth, then wipes himself clean with a napkin. 

“She asked what you looked like, I told her that you’re very handsome and that I’ll have to snap a picture, because I don’t think describing you would do you justice.” you look over at John and smile. His eyes are kind and appreciative at the sound of your compliment and his cheeks become flushed.

Finishing your lunch John suggests running the basket back to the car which is parked on the street only a few feet away. You stand up and brush the crumbs off your pants and grab Bleu’s leash hooking it to his collar. 

As John makes his way back over to you, his hair is blowing in the wind and you catch a glimpse of the bruise on his forehead again. He notices you staring and you look away.

“How about you, what about your family?” you ask, as he takes the leash from you and grabs a hold of your hand, and it feels so small compared to his and butterflies start floating around in your stomach.

He clears his throat, almost hesitating, “I, actually, uh..don’t really have a family.” You stop walking, and John stops and turns around looking at you and smiles, “What?”

Shocked, you shake your head, “How do you not have a family?”

“I was put into foster care when I was young, and kind of just drifted from home to home. When I was 19, I was lost, so I joined the Marines.”

You look at him up and down thinking about how this man, who is soft as can be, was once a tough Marine. Then, you remember the day you touched his bicep and nod to yourself.

“I met a man named Marcus while I was in there and he helped me out a lot. He was the closest thing I ever had to family.” he looks down at you as process it all.

“I mean, at least you have him. That’s good.” 

As soon as you speak, John looks off into the distance and you immediately know you said something wrong.

“Actually, he...passed away a few years ago.” 

Your right hand comes flying up to cover your mouth, and you let go of John’s hand and sit on the bench that’s nearby.

“Holy shit, John. I am so sorry. I didn’t mean to bring up any bad memories.” 

_What an idiot._

You start to ramble like you do when you get nervous, apologizing profusely, and John sits down next to you while Bleu lays on the ground at your feet. He grabs your hand and brings it to his mouth, pressing a small kiss onto it and his lips linger there for a moment.

“It’s okay. I know you didn’t mean to. I brought up your family first.” John laughs and squeezes your hand. 

You let out a big breath and lean back on the bench scooting closer to John, resting your head on his shoulder. You sit there in silence for several minutes before John pulls a tennis ball from his jacket pocket, and at the sight of the lime green ball, Bleu is standing and waiting for John to throw it. You stand and walk with John over to the patch of grass, and you take turns throwing the ball for Bleu.

__

  
On the way home, you’re stuck in pesky New York traffic and the car is silent, but outside, you can hear the city booming with life. You begin to apologize to John again, feeling like absolute shit. 

“John, seriously, I’m sorry if I brought up any bad memories. It certainly wasn’t my intention. If I had known, I never would have asked.” 

Rubbing your forehead with your hand, John looks over at you and takes your hand in his. He keeps his eyes on the road, and when you’re at a stand still again, he shifts in his seat and leans over pressing his hands against your face.

“Seriously, it’s okay. I promise.” he smiles.

As his hand descends back down to find yours, it grazes your left breast slightly and you both look at each other. John’s lips part as he starts to lean towards you, and a loud horn ruins the moment as the jerk behind you is getting impatient. You burst out laughing when you see how red John’s face has gone, clearly embarrassed.

__

Pulling up the long gravel driveway to John’s house, you half expect him to say goodbye when he invites you into his house, “If you want, I can show you some of my books.”

Touched that he’d even offer such a thing, you immediately agree, also knowing you want to spend as much time with him as possible.

Following behind John down the stairs,  you reach the bottom step and see all the books along the wall to the left and immediately, a smile begins to grow on your face. 

“Wow, you...really have a lot of books.” you gasp when you see Thomas Bewick’s Fables of Aesop. “No way, you have this? And it’s a first edition.” 

You’re impressed, realizing how much it probably cost him.

“Yeah, these are just some I’ve collected throughout the years.” he gestures over to the other shelf and pulls out a book. A book full of fairy-tales. “I don’t know why, but I feel like you’d like this.” 

He hands the heavy book to you, opening it you notice his stamp inside the cover. You’re becoming more impressed by the minute.

“I want you to have it.” he says as he looks you deep into your eyes. 

You shove the book into his chest, “I can’t. You worked so hard on this, I can’t just take it.”

“You’re not taking it, I’m  _giving_ it to you. There’s a difference.” his voice calm and soothing to your ears. 

He starts to move in closer, and when he’s inches from your face his phone rings. You sigh and close your eyes as he excuses himself to answer the phone.

You bend down to look at the books on the lower shelf and find Bleu standing next to you begging for your attention. You scratch the dog on his head and rub his ears. You can hear John’s deep voice coming from upstairs but can’t make out the words.  _Is that even English?_

Finally, you hear him making his way back down the stairs apologizing for having to take a call. Standing up, you cross your arms in front of you, holding the book tight against your chest.

“It was just work. Something has come up and I’ll need to go out of town for a week or two. Could you possibly do me a favor while I’m gone?”

He spreads his legs out and lowers himself so you’re almost at eye level. He places his hands on your elbows and you feel your knees giving out from under you. Willing to do just about anything for this man that you barely know, you nod your head.

“Would you watch Bleu while I’m gone? He hates staying in the hotel and he doesn’t like staying at any of the boarding places. And he obviously loves you.” 

You both look down to see Bleu looking up at the two of you wagging his tail. You gladly accept, knowing April and Tess will love having a dog around, especially one as cute and cuddly as Bleu. John thanks you and you head upstairs where he starts packing a bag for Bleu.

“I usually bring him for a walk in the morning and once again in the evening, but if he only gets one walk, that’s fine too.” John makes sure to pack all of Bleu’s favorite toys and hands it to you, “I figure you can take this now, I won’t be leaving for a few hours, so I’ll bring him over before I leave.”

The realizations that you won’t see John for a while starts to set in, and John can see that you’re getting upset and is making his way over to where you’re standing. He grabs your chin with his index finger and thumb and raises your head slightly so you’re looking at him.

“Hey, I’ll try to get this done with as fast as possible, and I’ll be back before you know it.”

You start to pout and he laughs, leaning down to press his lips against yours.  _Firm, but soft._ You feel like you’re floating and your hands trail up his chest and around his neck to keep yourself in place, and he pulls you in deepening the kiss.

His hands are engulfing your ribs and are slowly moving down your waist to your ass. Finally, you break away from his kiss, almost gasping for air and he presses a kiss to your forehead, then to your cheek and finally back on your lips.

“I should probably go pack.” he says, softly

You nod, not wanting this moment to end yet, but know he needs to pack. He lets go of you and backs away, and you find yourself missing his touch already. You grab Bleu’s bag and your book from the kitchen table, then make your way to the front door.

“I’ll be by with Bleu in a little bit.” he smiles at you and gives you one last kiss.

__

You're laying on your bed looking at the book John gave you when there's a knock at the front door.

“I got it!” April yells out as you quickly got up and walked over to the mirror making sure your hair isn’t too bad. 

You hear John introducing Bleu to April when you start making your way down the stairs. You can’t help but get butterflies when you see John in a dark blue three piece suit and his hair slicked back out of his face.

“He doesn’t beg much, but sometimes he put on his sad face in hopes it’ll help him get some food.”  

April kneels down to pet Bleu and looks back up at John, “I have a feeling you’re not one to turn him down. It works, doesn’t it?”

John takes a big breath and lets out a laugh moving his hand to cover his mouth, “Yeah, actually it does.”

As you reach the bottom step, John turns to face you and you raise your eyebrows and point at his suit and then his hair, “Not bad. You look very handsome.” 

A slow redness creeps onto his cheeks, and he looks down at his feet and smiles. You look over at April who is already on the couch with Bleu showering with him cuddles and kisses, and both of them are loving every minute of it.

John looks over at his dog and walks over to say goodbye. He grabs his face and plants a big kiss on his head. “I’ll be back soon boy, I think you’re in good hands.” 

Walking onto your porch, you close the door behind you and turn around to face John who is standing on the sidewalk. You’re standing on the steps and you’re at eye level for once. He wraps his arms around your waist and brings you in close. Placing your arms around his neck you stare into his eyes as you both smile.

“Oh, I want to give you this before I leave,” he reaches into his pocket and pulls out a key, “I thought you could get my mail for me and leave it on the table. I have a lot of books too, you know if you’re bored or something.”

You take the key from John and smile as you walk John over to his car and prepare for goodbye.

“Again, I’ll try and call you. Hopefully I can get all this done and be back sooner.”

You lean against his car and cross your arms, “What are you going out of town for?”

He swallows hard and looks away from you, “There’s a client that needs me to, uh,” he starts playing with his car keys, “Come check out some of his books, and he wants me to track some down as well.”

Even though you work in a book store, you don’t know much about tracking down rare books so you shrug it off. You reach out to grab his hand, “Okay, well I’ll see you soon.”

He takes both your hands in his and brings them to his cheeks to cup them, feeling his scruff against your delicate skin. His big, calloused hands on your back and he pulls you into a hug, and you stand there for what seems like an eternity before he lets go and kisses your temple. He gets in his car and you lean in the window pressing a messy kiss on his lips.

“Don’t forget about me, okay?”

“That’s impossible.” He says smiling against your lips.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: a little NSFW

Plopping down on the couch next to April, Bleu is falling asleep with his head in her lap and she reaches for the remote and mutes the TV.  “You know, I knew he was handsome, but he’s like movie star handsome.  _Damn_. Think he has a hot brother or something?”

You cross your legs and grab the pillow next to you and cuddle it into your chest, “He doesn’t have any family.” 

April looks over at Bleu, then back at you, “Well, he has you now, which means he has also me and Tess too.”

The room falls silent until Tess bursts through the front door.  

“Hey,” she sets down her bags and Bleu runs over to greet her, “Oh, we got a dog? Wait?! We finally got a dog?” 

You turn around to face her, “No, this is Bleu. John’s dog. We’re watching him while he’s out of town.”

“Dog-sitting.” she says, making her way to the couch, “So you’re his girlfriend now? I mean, that’s kind of like…girlfriend stuff.”

You look confused and shrug, “Guess I haven’t even thought about that, to be honest.”

Tess grabs a handful of popcorn that has been sitting on the coffee table, shoving into her mouth. “You gotta ask him when he gets back from…where is he?”

You lean back into the couch, “I don’t know exactly. He left to help a client with tracking down some books or something. I’m not entirely sure.” 

Tess leans forward and has a wicked smile on her face, “So…you kiss him yet?” 

You throw the pillow at her, “Tess!”

“What? It’s not like we’ve never talked about this stuff before. Trust me, we’ve talked stuff much worse than a kiss.” 

April is egging Tess on, and before you know the two of them are begging you to answer the question.

“Fine! Yes, we’ve kissed. But that’s it!” you yell, and April raises an eyebrow at you. “Seriously, that’s it. It’s only been like two weeks.”

Tess nudges you, “I would not be able to last two weeks if I was dating him.” Suddenly feeling protective over John and your relationship, you give her a dirty look. “Sorry, he’s just so…like, beautiful.”

You get up from the couch realizing how late it’s getting. “I’m gonna head to bed. Goodnight, girls. Come on, Bleu.”

You let Bleu out one last time before you hiding away in your room for the night.

__

The next week is _excruciatingly_ long. Every day, you head over to John’s house to pick up his mail, and you leave it in a neat pile on the kitchen table, never spending more time there than you need. 

On Thursday evening, you’re lost in the book John gave you when you hear your phone ringing, jumping up from your bed so fast you scare Bleu. You grab your phone from your desk and you take a few moments to calm down when you see his name on the screen.

“Hello?”

“Hi.” his voice is groggy and raspy sounding like he’s just woken up.

“How are you?” you sit down at your desk, barely able to contain yourself at the sound of his voice.

“I’m fine. I’ll be coming home sooner than I thought. Should be home tomorrow!” he says, happily. You hear what sounds like excitement in his voice and your heart soars.

“Shit! I haven’t checked your mail today. I’ve had my nose stuck in my book all day I completely forgot.” you say and hear John laugh.

“You like it?

“It’s good, I love it.” you smile.

“So,” he says, voice straining as he stretches, “I just wanted to call and let you know that I’ll be home tomorrow. I thought we could do something. We could watch a movie and order some take out.”

“Sounds good to me.”

“See you tomorrow then.”

Hanging up the phone, you jump up and grab Bleu’s face and presses a huge kiss to him and squeal with excitement. 

__

After tidying up your house the next day, you call out to Bleu, who is in April’s room curled up on her bed and hear his nail clicking against the wood floors as he makes his way to you. You hook his leash to his collar and grab your cardigan, then head out the door to take him around the block before John gets home. 

On the way back, you stop by John’s mailbox and grab his mail. Trying not to be nosey as you grab i, you notice one of the letter is addressed to him with his full name.  _Jonathan Charles Wick._  It’s pretty cute, you have to admit.

Once inside, you head to the kitchen where you clean Bleu’s bowls and fill them with water and food. Leaning against the granite counter, you sigh.

This is the longest you’ve been in John’s house unaccompanied. Curiosity taking over, you make your way down the hall. The door is open just a sliver and you gently push it open to reveal an office. The walls are covered in expensive framed pictures, and there's a black desk with a stack of papers neatly organized on the table. You walk past the door leading to the basement and remember John said you could read some of his books. 

When you grab the handle and turn to open it you realize it’s locked. Figuring he keeps it locked because he has such expensive books down there, you move on to the next location.

You head upstairs to what you assume is John’s room. You push back the door gently and are surprised to see a king sized bed covered in light gray sheets that look incredibly comfortable. Beautiful art work covers the walls and only one word comes to mind: expensive. You make your way over to his bed and sit on the edge and stare out the window. You lay back on his bed and the sheets feel soft and cold under your skin, burying your face in his pillow, you inhale his scent.

A few moments later, you begin to doze off when the ringing of the Grandfather clock in the living room startles you. Realizing that John should be home soon, you get up and fix his sheets before closing the door behind you and making your way back to the living room.

You sit down on a chair near the window looking out at the leaves as they fall from the trees when you hear the sound of an engine coming down the street. You perk up and your hand moves to your stomach as it fills with butterflies. The bright red truck drives past the house and you exhale. 

 _It’s not him. Calm down_. 

Deciding you need something to do, you turn on his TV and start flipping through channels. An hour passes and you hear the familiar sound of his Mustang pulling into the long gravel driveway.

At the sound of his car, Bleu rushes to the door and starts whining, missing his dad. You let him out and he runs up to John jumping up and down and barking at him. John gets the biggest smile on his face when he sees Bleu and drops his bags to properly greet him.

“Hey, boy!” John looks up at you, still smiling, “Hey, beautiful,” 

“Hi.”

He’s walking straight toward you, eyes scanning you up and down, and he grabs you by the waist and pulls into a delicious kiss, “God, I missed this…I missed  _you_.”

As soon as he pulls away from your lips to speak his hands are on your face, rubbing your cheeks and pressing a kiss to your forehead, which is quickly becoming your new favorite thing. 

“Sorry I took so long, I stopped on the way and got us something to eat. Hope you like Chinese food.” he says, then grabs his suitcases and with his arm around your waist the two of you head inside.

“Did you have a nice time?” you ask as he removes his jacket and hangs it up.

“Yeah, it was fine. You know, work is work.”

 _Vague as usual._  

You’re starting to wonder if maybe he just doesn’t like to speak about work, and to be honest you can understand. After spreading the food out on the coffee table in the living room, he makes his way to the kitchen and grabs a beer from the fridge and offers one to you, which you decline asking for a bottle of water instead.

You sit on the floor next to the table and John groans as he sits down on the couch, carefully holding his plate in one hand. He asks how Bleu was while he was gone, and you tell him how good he was, and how you even took him to the pet store and picked out a new toy for him, which of course Bleu runs to get so he can show John. 

He plops the chewed up toy at John’s feet as John takes a big bite of his food and pats him on the head. While you poke at your food, you can feel John’s eyes on you. He’s staring at you, always staring at you.

“What?”

John puts his hand up, chokes out a laugh and covers his mouth, “Nothing. Sorry.”

You drop your fork and turn towards him, your head practically in his lap and he holds his breath. “You’re always staring at me–”

He cuts you off before you can finish your sentence, “Because you’re beautiful, and I like to look at you.” 

He’s so convincing you believe him for a brief moment.

“I…” you’re at a loss for words and you look down, embarrassed, “Well, thank you. I guess.”

John finishes his food and takes your plates to the kitchen and put them in the sink to clean later. 

“Do you want to see if there’s movie to watch?” he asks, emerging from the kitchen and makes his way over to the couch. You search through Netflix when you eye a romantic comedy, looking over at John, you raise your eyebrow. “Sure, pick whatever you want.”

You pick the movie _Definitely, Maybe_ , and as it starts John put his arm around you and pulls you into your chest, kissing the top of your head as he lets out a content sigh.

__

As the credits roll, you feel John’s chest fill up with air and you wait for his thoughts. You close your eyes and nuzzle into the crook of his neck listening to his pulse and feeling the bass of his voice vibrate throughout his body. 

“So, he was always in love with April. I liked that movie.” 

You smile, "It's one of my favorites."

After a few moments of silence, John clears his throat and begins to speak again. “I have a confession.”

You shoot up and look him in the eyes, growing increasingly worried. He laughs and wraps his arm around your shoulder and pulls you back into his chest. Your eyes darting around the room, nervous for what he’ll say next.

“That letter that was put in your mailbox on accident…it wasn’t  _exactly_ on accident,” he says, and you look up to see him grinning, “I put it in your mailbox.”

He waits for your reaction and looks down at you to see your face covered by his shadow, so he reaches over to turn on the lamp on the table and you blink your eyes temporarily blinded by the rush of light.

“Okay, so let me get this straight. You snuck a letter into my mailbox…why?” you bring your legs under you and turn to face him on the couch.

“I just wanted to talk to you again. I figured I couldn’t make Bleu run up to you again.” he says in almost a whisper, admitting that’s exactly what he did the day you met.

“Jonathan, I made a  _fool_  out of myself bringing over that letter. I looked like an idiot.”

At the sound of his full name, his eyes widen and he grabs your thigh, and with one fluid motion you’re straddling him, mouth inches from his face. His breath is hot and it moistens your skin, and his eyes are so dark you can’t see his pupils.

You wrap your arms around his wide shoulders and begin to relax, easing down on his lap. His fingertips pressing harder into your thighs when you come into contact with him, and you can feel him growing hard underneath his pants. You lick your lips, and at the sight of your tongue, he lets out a low moan. 

With his one hand trailing up your back, you feel your arms tingle as they become covered in goosebumps. When he moves in to kiss you, you dodge and his lips land on your neck instead. 

He pulls back and gives you a disapproving look, “Don’t.” 

For a moment you’re almost scared, but a smile spreads across his face and you grab a fistful of his hair and pull him in to kiss him, desperately wanting him.

His tongue dances with yours and you feel yourself becoming wet. His hands move back to your hips and he guides you as you grind against him. When you realize what you’re doing you pull back. 

“John,” you whisper. His eyes are closed and he squints them open, holding your hips still. “The windows…it’s so open, everyone can see us.”

He looks over at the windows and reaches to the lamp on the table and turns it off, the room now only dimly lit by just the TV.

“Is that better?” he pants into your chest as he leaves kisses from neck down to your cleavage. 

You hum and he starts moving your hips against him again, this time harder than before. Realizing how hot it’s gotten, you unbutton your cardigan and remove it, only wearing a tank top underneath, and John sits back and takes it all in. He grabs your waist and moves you so you’re on your back on the couch with him on top of you.

Hungry for you, he’s trailing kisses up and down your clothed stomach and he nips at the top of your breast that is exposed. You make the mistake of reaching for his pants to unbutton them and he’s backing away, fixing his jeans and clearing his throat. You sit up, embarrassed and your face turns three shades of red.

“Did I do something wrong?” you ask as you reach for your sweater, feeling too exposed.

He’s shaking his head, his eyes are still dark, then he’s back on top of you kissing you again.

“Fuck…” He breathes against you. His kisses become slower before he turns your face, kissing both of your cheeks, “I think I should probably get some sleep.” 

He stands up and fixes his pants again, and you’re still laying on the couch with your mouth open when he reaches down to help you up.

“A patient man, I see.” you tease as you pull your sweater back on and button it slowly, watching John grow sad as your cleavage disappears from his sight. He walks over to you and takes your hand and leads you to the door.

“Thank you for watching Bleu for me.” He looks so grateful for such a small favor. You look over at Bleu who is fast asleep in his plush bed next the Grandfather clock.

“It was nothing, I enjoyed having him around.  _We_ enjoyed it…” you correct yourself when you remember how much April and Tess loved him, “Anytime you need me to watch after him, I’m always across the street.”

You wrap your arms around John’s waist and you rest your head on his chest, listening to his heart beat. His body vibrates when he speaks, “I’ll call you tomorrow.” 

“Okay.” you look up, still holding him and pucker your lips as he leans down, kissing you. 

“Bye, beautiful.”

__

When you reach your house, you notice the house is dark and quiet. You flip on the kitchen light to find a note: _**Went to the movies be back around 11. Tess & April.**_ 

Looking over at the clock, you see you have the house to yourself for another hour. You make your way up to your room and into the bathroom where you change into your pajamas. 

As you walk past the mirror, you notice a small hickey on your neck and rub your fingers over it, smiling when you realize he’s marked you. You walk over to your bed laying down and closing your eyes, allowing your hand to travel down beneath your underwear as the memories of the night replay in your head.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **warnings:** NSFW

It’s around 1 pm and you’re awoken by the sound of the doorbell. Groggily, you shake yourself awake, having fallen asleep on the couch while watching a movie. You make your way to the door to see who it is. Squinting in the light, a young man stands in front of you and asks for your signature, then hands you a huge bouquet of flowers.

As you close the door behind you, Tess lets outs a big gasp, “Whoa, those are some nice flowers.”

The bouquet is made of sunflowers and blue roses. You lean down smelling then and smile to yourself.  _He remembered._

Playing dumb, Tess asks who they’re from and walks over to smell them. A little white card is hidden in the flowers and pluck it out before Tess gets the chance.

Opening it close to your chest, not wanting her to see. _**Dinner. 7 pm. JCW.** _You bring the card to your lips kissing it, and then place it on the table.  

“I guess I have a date tonight.” you’re now fully awake and you skip off to your room to get ready.

__

April walks in while you’re finishing up your makeup and points to your neck, “That’s interesting.”

Embarrassed, you cover it with your hand and quickly add some make up to hide the small mark John had left on your skin. Taking a peek out the window, you can tell it’s cold and you head to your closet for a jacket, noticing John’s suit jacket from your first date hanging neatly in the center of your closet. Knowing John will come early, you walk into the kitchen with April as she starts making herself a grilled cheese.

The time passes by slowly, and you’re growing more and more impatient. You grab your phone from your purse and check to see if you’ve missed any calls. He’s definitely not the type to ever be late.

Needing a distraction, you walk over to the couch and flip on the TV. After successfully distracting yourself, you look down at your phone checking the time. 8:13. You scroll through your contacts and find John’s number and call him. It goes straight to voicemail.

“Maybe his phone died.” April suggests.

“He lives across the street, it’s not like he couldn’t just walk over here if it died. And everyone has like…three chargers nowadays.”

April nods in agreement and suggests going over to his house to check on him. Annoyed, you grab your phone and start to text him before you give up and delete it. Coming to the realization you’ve been stood up, you go to your room where you stay for the rest of the night, quietly crying into your pillow.

__

It’s been three days since John stood you up.Three  _very_  long days. It’s closing time and you’re the only one left in the store tidying it up for tomorrow when you hear the bell above the door jingle. Looking up, you’re shocked when you see John standing in front of you.

“No,” Shaking your head, you lean the broom against the counter and start walking towards him, “John, I can’t do this right now. I’m closing.”

John walks over to you, a slight limp in his step and you eye him curiously. “Please let me explain.”

“Work?” you snap at him and raise your eyebrows.

“Yeah, actually it was work.” he leans against the counter to keep himself upright.

You look down at his knee and point, “From work?”

“I fell while taking Bleu for a walk.” His hair falls in front of his face and hides his eyes.

“Hmm…” you shake your head and cross your arms.

“Please let me make it up to you. Come over tonight.” he grabs your shoulders and pulls you close to his chest.

Breathing in his cologne, you start to close your eyes and you feel yourself getting caught up in him.  _You’ve missed him, God you’ve missed him so much_. 

“Fine.” you sigh.

__

An hour later, you’re walking up his driveway and when you reach for the door to knock, John is already opening it.

“I’m glad you came.” he says, then pulls off your coat and hangs it up. Grabbing your hand, he leads you into the living room where you sit on the couch.

“Listen, I’m…” you start to talk when he leans in and kisses you.

“I’m sorry, I really am.” his eyes look so sad and you can tell he’s genuine. He pulls you into his lap and starts kissing your cheek.

As you slip your tongue in his mouth, he lets out a small moan. His hands are running over your back and he sneaks one hand under your shirt. It’s warm and it sends chills down your spine. He pulls back when he realizes you’re not wearing a bra, and you feel him growing harder underneath you. You smile against his lips and press one more kiss to his bearded cheek before moving off his lap and laying back on the couch.

He crawls over you, his brown eyes are warm, but as dark as the night. His hand glides up your shirt and gently caresses your breast, driving you mad and causing you to moan. You buck against him and he presses his other hand against your hip, pinning you to the couch.

Moving from your mouth, he kisses your neck and starts to lift up your shirt over your head, throwing it over the back of the couch. You reach up to him, tugging at his shirt and silently begging him to remove it. You nearly fall off the couch when you see his chest, scars are scattered all over his stomach and pecs, and you reach up to feel them underneath your fingers and notice a large tattoo covering his left bicep.

“I really am sorry.” he breathes into your chest and he begins kissing you all over, taking one nipple into his mouth.

You grab his face and look him deep in the eyes. Desperate for him, you pull him in and kiss his lips. He grabs you and he starts carrying you bridal style up the stairs to his room. Using his foot to push the door open, he drops you gently on the bed.

You sit up and begin undoing his jeans, needing him. When you pull his jeans down, you see him hard against his boxers. Looking back up at him and biting your lip, you feel mischievous and you slide your hand into his boxers. His eyes grow wide and he’s on top of you, unbuttoning your pants. In a matter of seconds, your pants are off and thrown across the room.

In nothing but your underwear, you lay there almost completely exposed to him. He looks over every inch of your body, storing it in his memory, “You’re beautiful.”

He leans down, kissing your mouth as his hand runs from your chest to your stomach and underneath your underwear. You’re wet and warm; wanting him. He slowly inserts his middle finger and you arch your back, moaning as you grab onto his sheets. He reaches up with his free hand, pushing your hair out of your face and sloppily kisses you.

Wanting to return the favor, you start tugging at his boxers, and he sits up to remove them and you catch a glimpse of his back, covered with big black tattoos. They’re sexy, and you find yourself wanting to lick and kiss all over them.

He’s stiff and a bead of precum is running down his cock. His hand reaching back down to you, he slides in two fingers with ease and you ground down on them. You grab his cock and begin stroking it slowly, and he moans into your hair.

“You’re all I’ve thought about these past few days.” he licks his lips and presses a kiss to your chest, and you whimper against him.

Feeling yourself coming to the end, you grab a fistful of his hair and crash your lips against his as you buck your hips wildly. Reaching your undoings almost simultaneously, you gasp for air and let out one last moan and he groans against your neck.

When he removes his fingers, they’re coated and he places them in his mouth to suck them clean. He reaches over to his side table and grabs tissue to clean himself up. He flips you over and spoons you, still breathing heavily and kisses your shoulder. The two of you stay like this for awhile until you miss his face and turn over to look at him.

“I guess I’ve forgiven you, ” you turn to face him and he’s grinning. “Was that your intention this whole time?”

He looks hurt that you would even imply that and starts shaking his head, “No, I just wanted to apologize, but you looked so beautiful, and I couldn’t resist you.”

He spoils you with kisses and hugs you tightly to his chest. With the sound your breathing, the two of you fall fast asleep clinging to each other.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warnings:** NSFW

You stretch yourself awake and are embarrassed when the sheets pull down, revealing you’re naked. You quickly pull the covers over your body and turn to your left hoping John is still asleep. He’s gone, already awake.

The smell of coffee is floating through the house, and you sit up looking around. There’s dark blue shirt folded neatly on his pillow and you pull it over your head as you hear sounds of pots and pans coming from the kitchen downstairs.

“Morning.” John turns around when he hears your feet on the wooden floors, practically melting when he sees you in his shirt and stretches his arm out beckoning you.

“You’ve been cooking. Smells good.” you say, impressed. You fold yourself into his arms, and he leans against the counter holding you tightly and kisses the top of your head.

On the table there are two plates with pancakes and bacon and it catches your attention, still in John’s arms you both make your way to the table.

“I thought we could go for a drive today. Maybe stop at a little book shop.” John reaches over and pours syrup onto his pancakes and hands it to you.

Your mouth is full of food so you nod your head. “I should probably go home and shower first.”

John’s eyes are peering over his coffee cup and he takes a big sip of his drink. “You look beautiful, by the way.”

You duck from his gaze, not used to these kind of compliments. “Thanks for the shirt, I’m not really sure where mine is.”

He reaches over taking your hand in his and bringing it to his lips and kisses your knuckles. You finish your breakfast in silence and get dressed in yesterday’s clothes and head to the door.

“I’ll be by in about an hour.” he says, and you give him a look and his shoulders fall a little. He cups your cheeks peppering your face with kisses. “I promise.”

He leaves one last sweet kiss on your lips and it taste like maple syrup.

__

Exactly an hour later, John is at your front step waiting for you. Opening the door, you see he’s wearing all black; jeans, turtleneck and blazer. _Damn he looks good._

“God, you’re so handsome.” You jump into his arms and kiss his cheek watching him get flushed.

Walking hand and hand to the car, he opens your door and kisses the top of your head as you bend down getting it and securing your seat belt.  

After a short drive, you pull up to a book shop and it’s covered in cobblestone and framed with big windows. Planters full of bright beautiful flowers are sitting by the front door and you lean down to smell them on the way in. Grabbing John’s hand, you’re giddy and you head inside.

It doesn’t take long for you and John to get separated. As you wonder through shelf after shelf of books you turn the corner to see John standing with a book in his hands.

“John, please. Enough.” Knowing full well he’s bought you another book and just by the looks of it, you know it cost him quite a bit of cash.

He looks at it then back at you with puppy dog eyes. Slowly moving it closer to your arms, he starts to dance a little. He leans down closer to you, still dancing and kisses your cheek. “Consider it part of my apology.”

You huff and take the book in your hands running your finger along the spine which is adorned with flecks of gold. “Fine, but after this.. no more gifts! I’m serious.”

John beams knowing he’s won. His face changes to concern when your stomach rumbles alerting him to your hunger. Leaving the book shop behind, you head to the cafe on the corner.

__

Ordering your food and sitting in silence on the cafe’s patio, John opens the book he bought and starts to gloss over it. He’s so focused on his book, he doesn’t feel you staring at him. His features are heightened in the sun and he looks stunningly beautiful. His dark hair and perfectly trimmed beard make you want to reach out and grab him. You want so badly to feel him under you, and it gives you an idea.

“Oh! I just remembered.” You pull your phone out of your purse and get up to sit in his lap. “I told my mom that I would send her a picture of you…so, smile pretty.”

John wraps his arms around you and gives his best smile, crinkles forming around his eyes. You snap the picture and check to make sure it’s okay, and John grabs it from your hand before you can pick it apart and sends it to himself and his phone beeps moments later.

“We’re a good looking couple.” He shakes his head and places the phone on the table and wraps his arms around your waist, leaning his head against your arm.

“Are we?” you look at him, “A couple, I mean.”

He looks up at you and with the sun shining on his face his eyes almost look hazel. He presses a kiss against your arm. “I want to be.”

You press your hand against his face and rub your thumb on his cheek, then lean down to kiss him when the waitress interrupts the two of you with your food.

__

Full from your lunch, you sit back in your seat as the wind blows gently on your face and close your eyes starting to fall asleep when the car begins to slow down and it snaps you awake. “I just need to fill the tank before we get home.”

John pulls into a worn down old gas station that only has two pumps and hops out of the car, then quickly makes his way inside to pay.

You’re left alone in the car for a few minutes so you crack open your book and flip through the pages when you hear John’s voice and look up. He’s talking to a short man who is covered in tattoos. They’re speaking quietly but you can hear the authority in John’s voice. John feels you staring and looks your way, and you offer him a small smile and look back down at your book. He continues talking to the man but switching to Russian instead and you lean a little closer to the door, listening. You don’t know any Russian and you’re shocked to find out John is fluent. And it’s hot.

“I can’t talk about this right now.” John switches back to English and gestures to the car. The man nods at him. “We’ll talk about this later.” He turns walking back to the car, quickly fills the tank and gets in.

“Who was that?” You ask, knowing you’re being invasive but you’re too curious for your own good.

John turns to you and kisses your cheek but won’t look you in the eye. “No one, just an old acquaintance.”

“You speak Russian?” You really are curious but you begin to feel an ache between your legs.

“Yeah, I learned from Marcus.” He shifts into gear and leaves the gas station as your clench your thighs together hoping to dull the ache.

__

Pulling in front of your house, you hop out of his car and shut the door almost too hard behind you and John mistakes it for anger. Walking you to the door he places his hand on the small of your back and it’s making you weak. Not even giving him time to say anything you open the door and pull him inside and lead him to your room.

You push him down on your bed and you start to remove his blazer, and he looks up at you in shock, “What are you doing? I thought you were upset with me.”

You peel off your sweater and grab at his shirt pulling it over his head. You unhook your bra and throw it to the ground and watch as John gets harder for you. You lean down to kiss him and he grabs you pulling you on top of him. Feeling his bare chest against yours makes your nipples grow even harder and you start to unbuckle his jeans when he pushes you off him and rips at your jeans instead.

Soon, you’re naked in front of him and you help him remove his pants. He grabs your ass and switches positions so you’re laying down and he’s kneeling in front of you. He begins pressing needy kisses all over your breasts, stomach, and down your legs. His fingers grip your thighs as he spreads you open further and he takes one long look, licking his lips.

“John…please, I want you.” you beg, and he begins to smirk and rubs his beard against your thigh causing you to moan.

As soon as his wet lips come in contact with you, you arch your back and begin bucking your hips. He flattens his wet tongue and licks from your entrance back up to your clit and sucks on it gently, then runs his tongue over it and you shudder.

He crawls back on the bed, his mouth engulfing yours and you can taste yourself on his tongue. Your legs begin to shake as John inserts two fingers momentarily and then removes them, placing them in his mouth. He moans and swallows hard before sliding them back into you, finding your hidden spot and fucking you with his fingers, ultimately bringing you to your climax.

Reaching down to grab him, you stroke him before positioning yourself in front of him and bringing him into your mouth. Sucking gently, he leans back against your bed post and lets out a moan that makes you smile.

“Fuck..” Your mouth is warm, wrapped around him and you move up and down. John reaches out placing his hand in your hair and with a firm grip begins pushing you down, creating a rhythm. “Li-like that.” 

You take him back into your hand and begin stroking him faster and you can feel him reaching his end. You kiss him all over his chest and his breath is hot against your forehead. Moving your hair out of your face so he can see you, you bit your lip knowing he’s watching.

“Does that feel good?” your voice is quiet, and he’s nodding his head. You keep the pace and lean up to kiss him. It doesn’t take him long to reach his undoing and you feel a warm burst on your legs.

John quickly jumps up and runs into your bathroom and grabs a towel, apologizing for the mess he’s made. “I’m sorry, I..I wasn’t expecting that.” He starts patting at the spot he’s left on your duvet and when he sees it all over your legs, he’s mortified. He begins apologizing again and starts wiping it off your leg.

“John.” He doesn’t hear you as he’s frantically wiping off your leg. “John!” He looks up at you, his hair covering his face, still wiping at your leg. You reach out grabbing the towel from him and throw it across the room. “Baby, it’s okay.”

Pulling him down to lay next to you, you get under the covers and cuddle into his chest. It’s only 3 pm but having worn yourselves out, you fall asleep.

__

The room is growing colder as the sun makes it descent. You pull the covers over you, hoping to warm yourself up when you feel something cold and wet against your cheek and you squint your eyes open _. Bleu._  You sit up straight and rub your eyes.

“Bleu, how the hell did you get in here?” You look over and see your bedroom door is opened slightly and you hear voices coming from the kitchen. John’s clothes that were in a mess on the floor are gone and you quickly get dressed and head downstairs.

Your heart is full when you see John sitting at the island in the kitchen laughing and talking with your friends.

“Oh, look! Someone is finally awake. You..uh..must have been tired.” Tess jokes and raises an eyebrow at you and her and April start giggling like children.

John turns to look at you and reaches out, wrapping an arm around your waist pulling you into him. “Hi baby.” His voice is low and velvety, and it sends shivers down your spine. “We didn’t wake you up, did we?” He looks concerned and pulls you in tighter, face pressed into your chest. You bend down kissing the top of his head and catch the scent of his shampoo.  _Honey._

“No, actually it was this one.” You turn around to see Bleu looking up at you wagging his tail.

“Yeah, I woke up and felt bad knowing that he was sitting at home alone so I went and got him.”

You reach down to pet Bleu and he licks your cheek. You sit down on the stool next to John, who is staring at you in awe. “What?”

“You just woke up but…you look so beautiful.” He grabs your hand and kisses it, and you lean over to him and kiss him softly, his beard tickling you causing you to giggle.

“Okay, ew. Enough of that.” Tess all but spits at the two of you, and John smirks and lets out a small laugh, embarrassed. “John, do you have any friends? Hot friends specifically.”

“Um, I know a guy. He’s single, as far as I know.” John gets up and grabs the hamburger that’s been thawing out on the counter.

“Is he hot though?” Tess lifts herself onto the counter and leans closer to John.

He shrugs and begins making burgers. “Yeah, he’s a good looking guy.”

“Where does he work?”

“Tess, oh my god.” you shake your head and get up and walk over to help John. “I thought you were dating someone.”

“Eh, didn’t work out. So John, back to this guy you know. Where does he work? What’s his name? How do you know him?”

John moves to the sink to wash his hands, “His name is Jimmy. I’ve known him for about 11 years…and he’s a cop.” he turns around to see Tess’ mouth is wide open and it turns into a huge grin.

“He’s a cop, that’s hot. You know, guns, authority.  _Handcuffs._ I bet he’s kinky _._ ” you turn looking at Tess, amazed at the things she’s saying. “Oh come on, I know you think that stuff is hot. Remember when we were watching those James Bond movies? Every time he killed someone, you practically moaned!”

“Okay! I get it! It’s definitely hot.” You agree and turn to John who is looking at the ground and he grabs the plate of burgers and heads out to the grill in the backyard. You turn around and look at Tess who is still smiling to herself.

As you walk into the background, you’re greeted with a wonderful image: John is sitting on a chair near the grill under the soft glow of the twinkly lights that April insisted you hang up. She was right though, they do look really good. John looks up and sees you walking over and plasters a small smile on his face.

“Listen, I’m sorry about Tess. She really has no filter sometimes.” You pull up a seat next to John and he looks sad and tiny in his chair. “Did she say something to offend you? I know Jimmy is your friend.”

He shakes his head and leans forward resting his elbows on his knees. “No, she’s fine. I just have a lot on my mind tonight.”

He gets up and flips the burgers, and you sit back in the chair and bring your knees to your chest, closing yourself off from him. When he turns around, he can tell you’re upset and he bends down in front of you. He grabs your chin so you’re looking at him.

“I know it’s only been like a month, but...” his voice trails off and he looks down at the ground, trying to find the right words. “You know you have me wrapped around your finger, right?”

You pull him into your chest as tears begin to form in your eyes. When one slips past and falls on his cheek, he pulls away and uses his thumbs to wipe them away. His voice is just a little above a whisper and he’s trying to stop you from crying. “Baby, why are you crying?”

You feel a little silly when you realize you’re crying like a child in front of him.

“Sorry, I’m just..” you exhale and sit back wiping the tears off your face.  

He’s still kneeling in front of you when Tess and April come out of the house placing food on the table. When John sees them he stands up, straightens his shirt and tosses the burgers from the grill onto a plate.

__

After an hour or so, April heads off to bed and Tess cleans up the table before heading to her room for the night. It’s just you and John left on the back porch and it’s getting colder and you pull your arms close to your chest to keep the heat from escaping.

John stands up and brushes his pants off. “Well, I should probably head home. Bleu looks like he’s getting hungry.”

You look over at Bleu who is sitting near the grill, sniffing the air and whining.

“Can I stay with you tonight?” your voice is so quiet, John almost doesn’t hear you.

You look up at him and he’s grinning at you. He takes your hands, pulling you up from the table and wraps you in his arms. He’s always so warm and it soaks into your sweater making you shiver.

“Of course you can stay with me.”

You stand there for a few minutes before heading to your room to pack some things in an overnight bag. Leaving behind a note for the girls, you turn off the lights and head over to John’s house.

Flipping on the light John removes his shoes and jacket, turning around to remove yours. “What do you want to do? We can watch a movie. I’m sure there’s something on TV.” he starts listing off things the two of you can do and you wrap your arms around his waist.

“Will you just hold me?”

John looks perplexed by this sudden wave of sadness, but he’s enjoying how clingy you’ve gotten. He lifts you up and wraps your legs around his waist. He starts making his way to his room as you’re peppering his neck and jaw with kisses and his breathing is getting heavier.  When you reach the stairs, you’re tempted to hop off him but he keeps a strong and firm grip on you and climbs the stairs with ease, which only turns you on.

It’s only when you’ve entered his room, you remember that you’ve left your bag by the front door. He carefully drops you on his bed and kisses you and leaves in a hurry to get your bag. When he comes back the room is empty and when he hears the water running in the bathroom, he knocks on the door, opening it a crack allowing you to grab your bag from him.

Inside your bag, you’ve packed a change of clothes for the morning. Hoping this moment might happen, you also tucked in your best lingerie. An item that you bought on a whim but never had the chance to wear. You peek out the door and see that John has made himself comfortable laying on his bed in his shirt and boxers and flipping through a book he had purchased earlier that day.

You hold up the lingerie up and you begin to blush, hoping he’ll like it. Slipping it on, you feel incredibly exposed but so sexy. You grab the brush from your bag and run it through your hair quickly. Looking at yourself in the mirror, you begin giving yourself a pep talk.

“You got this, you can do it. He’s hot, you’re hot. He’s obviously into you. I’m not sure why but he is!” You fix your hair, tucking it behind your ear before fluffing it up again and sighing. “Seriously, you can do this.”

You muster up all the courage you have and sneak out of the bathroom, walking as quiet as a mouse over to John, who is in bed and focused on his book. He furrows his brow as he’s carefully reading the words. He looks so gorgeous and domestic.  _You could get used to this._

It takes him a few seconds for him to notice you, having not heard you walking in. He looks up and all the blood rushes from his face. His eyes light up at the sight of you. He begins stuttering, and he places the book over his lap but you catch a glimpse of him getting hard.

“You..I…” he clears his throat and begins again. “You look amazing….and delicious.” he all but growls at you and licks his lips, throwing the book carelessly on the side table, almost knocking over the lamp.

You walk over to his side of the bed and his hands are on your thighs making their way up to your ass where he pulls at the thin string of your underwear, snapping it against you. He tilts his head back and you lean down, hovering inches from his lips and linger there for a few moments, letting him sweat it out. He whimpers and leans forward to kiss you and you pull away choosing to lay down on the bed instead.

You lay on your back and he crawls on top of you, drinking in every inch of your body. He begins kissing you, starting at your thighs before making his way to your lips. His touch is feather light, teasing. Payback for not kissing him.

His tongue slips into your mouth and you hum. His breath is hot against your neck as he sucks and bites your skin. He starts pulling at your underwear and in one fluid motion they’re off, thrown somewhere on the floor. His hand spreads across your rib cage and he pulls at the thin lace covering your breasts, pulling too hard ripping it clean off you.

“Oh…sorry.” his voice is low and raspy and he starts stripping off his shirt and boxers.

You wrap your legs around his waist and his cock is only inches from you and you ache, wanting it. Wanting him. You’re breathless as you buck your hips and his cock bumps against you. He lays next to you and finds your lips for a passionate kiss and his fingers slide in you slickly, his thumb begins rubbing circles on your clit. You cover his hand with yours, urging him. You grab his bicep digging your nails into him, barely able to contain yourself. He removes his fingers, popping them in his mouth quickly and he’s back on top of you. He spreads your legs open and looks you deep in the eyes.

“Do you want this?” He reaches down pumping his cock in his hand, and you whimper as you nod your head.

Your heart beat speeds up as his lips curl into a devious smile and his eyes sparkle. He leans down and buries himself in you, waiting a moment to let you adjust to him before he starts moving his hips slowly. It burns but it feels so good. Pressing kisses to his temple, his strong arms wrap around you lifting you off the bed slightly. The sounds of the bed creaking and moans fill the air.

“You like that?” He whispers in your ear, his voice is deep and sultry, and it’s making you lose control. “You’re so beautiful.” He’s pressing kisses to your face in between compliments. “Fuck, you feel so good.”

You lean your head back and let out a loud moan as pleasure takes over. Not wanting him to do all the work, you push at his shoulders and he rolls over as you climb on top of him. Propping himself up with the pillow to get a better view of you rutting on top of him, his eyes roll back and he mutters something in Russian that you can only assume was a swear word. His hands are on your hips as he guides you alternating between fast and slow motions. You spread your legs even wider to feel him go deeper as John brings his thumb into his mouth sucking on it and reaching out and rubbing circles on your clit, which only makes you moan louder.

“Keep doing that… _fuck_.” you sputter out and squeeze your eyes shut and red splotches appear, dancing behind your eyes. Placing your hands on his chest, you dig your nails into him as you fuck him harder, John moans and you open your eyes to see him staring at you smiling.

“You like that, don’t you?”

You bite your lip, nodding as you moan, and he grabs your arms pulling you into his chest and you clamp down on him, reaching completion. No longer able to hold it off any longer, you feel a sudden burst of warmth and his cock twitching inside of you. John lets out one last moan and wraps his arms around your back, hugging you into his chest and keeps you in place. Smiling, laughing, and pressing kisses to your face, he sighs and you feel him relax.

You both lay there trying to catch your breath for a few moments before you slide him out of you and lay down next to him. He’s playing with your fingers and he inhales deeply. You look up at him expecting him to say something.

“Why were you crying earlier?” 

“I wasn’t sad, I promise.” You begin running your finger over all the scars on his chest that you assume are from his time in the Marines. “It’s just…” You sit up and wrap the sheet around you. “I’m really happy.  _You_ make me really happy.”

John looks confused and sits up and pulls you closer to him.

“And what’s wrong with that?” He kisses your cheek and pecks you quickly on the lips.

“Well, nothing.” You laugh and lean forward to kiss him again. “I just have bad luck. So I get a little scared, I don’t want this to end. I just don’t want something bad to happen.”

He gets up and reaches out to grab your hand and leads you into the bathroom with his arm around your shoulder. He starts the shower and adjusts the temperature so it’s just right. He pulls you in and hugs you tight to his chest while the water runs down your back tickling you.

He pours some soap onto a loofah and begins rubbing circular motions on your back, pressing kisses to your neck and shoulders. You grab the shampoo, pouring into your hands, lather it up and stand on your tip toes and softly scratch John’s scalp. When he realizes you’re giving him a mo-hawk, he laughs and quickly ducks into the water to wash it away, then he reaches up and slicks his hair back out of his face.

His fingertips grip your hips and he kisses your jawline and moves to your lips for a burning kiss that leaves you breathless. When you open your eyes, he’s staring at you and a smirk begins tugging at his lips.

“You’re amazing, you know that?” you start kissing his chest when you feel him shaking his head, disagreeing.

“I’m not.” He says firmly and cups your cheeks. He’s looking into your eyes the whole time and you wonder why he doesn’t believe you. Suddenly, your legs give out from under you and John catches you.

“Sorry, my legs are going numb from standing here and…from before.” You begin to smirk as John turns off the water.

After wrapping you in a towel, he carries you back to his bed where he dries you off, tucks you in, and climbs into bed next to you. Showering you with kisses and stroking your hair, he pulls you into his side and you relax, feeling yourself dozing off listening to the music of his heartbeat.

“I think I’m in love with you.” The words linger in the air as John looks down to find you fast asleep.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warnings:** NSFW

You squint your eyes open as you look over to your left, expecting John to be gone and you’re surprised when you see him still laying in bed. His hair is a wild mess against his pillow and his skin looks so soft in the glow of the morning light. He’s holding something in his hand and you try to get a good look without alerting him. You quietly smile to yourself when you see he’s staring at the picture the two of you had taken the day before, which is now the background on his phone.

You’re falling in love with him. It’s as simple as that.

He places his phone back on the side table and rolls onto his right side, facing you. When he sees you’re awake, he leans in and kisses you as crinkles form around his eyes as he smiles, “Good morning.”

He drapes one arm around your waist and his fingers begin rubbing circles on your skin, and he snakes his other arm under you pulling you closer. In his arms, you feel warm and safe, like he could protect you from everything bad thing in the world.

“Morning.”

Remembering what happened the night before, you begin to feel a little self-conscious and hide your face in his chest. You’re both startled by the sudden shift of weight on the bed when Bleu comes running in and lays in between the two of you, pushing you out of John’s arms, prompting you to get up and head to the bathroom to put on some clothes.

When you come out of the bathroom, John is fully dressed and you catch a glimpse of him as he leaves the room, heading for the kitchen and you quickly trail behind him. You grab a banana off the kitchen island and sit down in the chair, devouring it within seconds.

“If you’re hungry, I can make you something to eat.” John’s already leaning into the cupboard to pull out a pan when you decline his offer.

“No, thank you though.”

His phone beeps and he pulls it out of his pocket, “Do you have plans tonight?”

“Uh, not as far as I know.” you catch him smirking at his phone and you get up walking over to him, “Why? What have you done? You’re not gonna fly me to Paris or something, are you?”

He chuckles softly and shake his head, “No, but I can if you want.”

He stares at you for a few moments and you realize he’s not joking. He looks back at his phone and leans against the counter.

“I just texted Jimmy this morning. He’s available tonight if you think Tess would really want to go out with him.”

“Oh.” You laugh as you try to hop on the counter, but you’re too short and John walks over to help as you wrap your legs around his waist pulling him in.

“We can always double date.” his hands slide up with your thighs and he intertwines his fingers with yours. He’s staring at you with pure adoration in his eyes and you melt inside.

“You know, Mr. Wick, I think you might be the most incredible man I’ve ever met.” you say, smiling at him.

He looks down when you compliment him and his cheeks turn pink. Peppering his face with kisses, you wrap your arms around him and hug him tight, staying in each other’s arms for a moment.

John’s phone rings and he lets go of you to answer it, leaving the room. You’re still sitting on the counter and after checking the time, you decide you should head home to shower and let Tess know about tonight’s plan.

You look for John and find him sitting at his desk in his office. You pop your head in and see him looking determined and focused. He’s not talking, but he’s listening intently to whoever is on the other line.

“John,” you whisper, but he doesn’t look up from his desk. You say his name one more time a little louder and he looks up, shocked to see you in his office, “I’m gonna head home.”

He waves you over and leans up, leaving a warm kiss on your lips. When you lean in to kiss him once more, you hear the man on the other end speaking another language.

_Is that Russian, Italian? Maybe French?_

“I’ll pick you up around 7.” he whispers into your ear as you’re leaning down.

You turn to leave and gently close the door behind you when you hear John’s voice is deep and dangerous, “Consider it done.”

__

It’s only a little past 11 and you figure Tess will be awake, so you head to her room. Opening the door, she’s still fast asleep and you plop down on her bed, startling her awake.

“Holy shit, do not ever do that to me again.” she checks the time and rolls back over, snuggling under her blankets.

“You need to get up and start to get ready.” you walk over to her closet, sifting through her dresses.

“No. I have no plans for today besides sleeping.”

You turn around laughing and she’s squinting at you through sleepy eyes. “Oh, but you do. John texted Jimmy and we’re double dating tonight. So, get up!”

At the sound of his name, Tess is already up and heading to the kitchen for a cup of coffee. You skip behind her and sit down at the table.

“You’re awfully cheery this morning.” she looks at you and her eyes grow wide when she realizes why you’re in such a good mood, “Oh, my god, it happened.” She slams her coffee cup down so hard it makes you jump, “Tell me everything.”

Trying your hardest not to smile, you cover your face with your hands and feel your face growing hot and red. Shaking your head and sighing, you sit back and start laughing, “I don’t know what you want me to tell you.”

“Uh,  _everything_.”she looks at you like you’re stupid and stares at you until you give in.

“Okay, well, it was perfect. I wore some sexy lingerie that left him speechless, that was satisfying.” you put your hand over your face as you hear yourself speak, “It was just perfect,  _he_  was perfect. But…”

“But what?” she starts tugging at your hand, removing it from your face and is surprised to see you crying. Quickly getting up from her chair, she kneels down in front of you and turns you to face her. “You know you can tell me anything. We’re sisters.”

You sniffle and shake your head, “I know.”

“So, what is it?”

You know Tess won’t give up until you finally spill your guts. You get up and head to the fridge for a bottle of water to cool yourself down and stop your crying.

“I’m in love with him.”

Tess gets up and runs over to you, hugging you tightly, “Good! You deserve this! He’s really sweet to you and he’s so nice. And he has a _dog_!”

The way Tess words it almost makes it sound like Bleu is the best part of the deal and you laugh.

“I know, he’s amazing, but I just have a feeling he’s still not being completely honest with me. Or maybe he’ll get sick of me. I’m just plain and he’s…well… _him_. He’s so classy and sexy. He buys me gifts, offers to fly me to Paris and tells me I’m beautiful.” you sigh and rest your head on the counter.

Tess rolls her eyes and pokes your shoulder, “I think you’re being paranoid. I think you’re just trying to find reasons why it won’t work out. You know that dumb quote about it being ‘better to have loved and lost than never having loved at all’ or whatever?” she starts her way back to her room and her voice fades, “I hope you said yes to Paris, by the way.”

__

John texts you to let you know he’ll be over soon and you head to Tess’ room to find her standing in front of her bed, contemplating which dress to wear, finger tapping her chin.

“Don’t wear that one,” you point to the navy blue dressed covered in lace, “We’ll match.” you sit down on the edge of her bed and pick up the champagne color dressed, “I would go with this.”

Tess grabs it from your hands and quickly disappears into her bathroom to put it on. She walks out flauntingly and poses when you hear a knock on the door.

Tess nearly shoves you out of the way to answer it. Her happiness subsides when she sees it’s just John, and she huffs and heads for the living room, “It’s for you.”

John looks so handsome, dressed in a black suit and his hair is parted and neatly combed away from his face. His mouth drops open and he’s speechless when he sees you, he grabs your hands and spins you slowly, looking you over.

“Gorgeous.” he grabs your face and kisses you, his hand slowly makes its way to your ass and he squeezes gently. You sway back and forth until Tess’ voice startles you.

“Are we going?” she leans against the staircase and raises her eyebrows. You nod and grab your purse, locking the door behind you.

__

When you arrive at the restaurant, John helps you and Tess out of the car and leads the two of you inside, one of you on each arm. Your table is tucked away in the back and it reminds you of your first date with John. You squeeze his hand under the table and scoot closer to him. He leans closer when his phone beeps and he excuses himself.

You look over at Tess, who has already drank her glass of wine. “Are you nervous?”

She points to her glass, “Obviously.”

You hear John’s voice as he’s walking over with a man and you stand up to greet him and John is beaming, “Jimmy, this is Y/N. My girlfriend.”

John looks so proud, and you reach out to shake Jimmy’s hand as he compliments you. Tess stands up and introduces herself, and they immediately engage in conversation. You’ve always been jealous of how easy she is to talk to.

__

After some cocktails and appetizers, your food arrives, but the conversation never stops. Tess is pure entertainment, and everyone is laughing and having a good time. John is holding your hand under the table and he looks so happy every time he smiles. You feel yourself falling even more in love with him, and you so badly want to tell him.

When Tess asks Jimmy about work, John shifts in his seat, leaning towards you, “How are you?”

“I’m good.” you nod and lean forward, kissing him softly on his lips.

“Oh, my god!” Tess gasps.

You look over at Tess and she’s pointing behind you. You turn around to see people slow dancing, and she turns to Jimmy and asks him to dance. He looks nervous, but she’s already standing and pushing at him to get up.

John gives you a look and nods toward the dance floor, “Do you wanna?”

He grabs your hand and leads out onto the dance floor. His right hand is resting on the small of your back and his left hand almost swallows your tiny hand. You rest your head on his chest as you sway back and forth to the music.

Taken aback by how good he is, you ask him where he learned. As he says speaks, he spins you around pulls you back into his arms, “I actually took some classes a few years ago.”

“I’m impressed, Mr. Wick.” you raise your eyebrows and smile, resting your head back on his chest.

“Can I tell you something?” his voice is quiet and shaky.

“Anything.” you reply, softly, and you look up at him.

He looks so nervous and he holds your gaze for a few moments before he looks away and clears his throat. He lets go of your hand and moves both his hands to your waist. You lock your hands behind his neck, thankful that you chose the heels that were a little higher, giving you more height.

“I think...” he exhales and kisses your forehead quickly, “I’m falling in love with you.”

He pulls back to see your reaction, and you smile and hide your face in his chest. He grabs your chin with his thumb and index finger, making you look at him and tucks your hair behind your ear.

“I  _am_  in love with you, John.” you feel your eyes burn, but quickly blink away the tears as he leans into kiss you and the room spins. If he wasn’t holding you so tightly, you would fall into a puddle on the floor.

The music speeds up, and the room erupts with laughter and clapping. You turn around to see Jimmy making an absolute fool out of himself, pulling Tess out to dance with him. The two of them laughing and dancing in each other’s arms warms your heart and you know this is what she deserves.

Everyone’s clapping and egging him on and you turn to John, who has disappeared. Wondering where he is, you take off looking for him. After checking your table, the bathroom, and the back patio, you head to the front of the restaurant and you see him, phone glued to his ear as he kicks at a rock on the ground.

Walking up behind him, you tap him on the shoulder. He turns around in a fury and grabs your wrist hard, squeezing it tightly in his massive hand and it brings you to tears instantly. His eyes are dark and angry, but when he sees it’s you, his face changes from anger to horror and he hangs up the phone, quickly stuffing it in his pocket.

“Oh, my god, I’m so sorry. I didn’t…I didn’t know it was you.” he reaches out, but you back away from him, holding your wrist close to your chest and rubbing it with your other hand.

“It’s okay, I shouldn’t have snuck up on you. I’m sorry.”

You feel your heart beating hard in your chest and John reaches out to hug you, but still shaken, you keep backing away. You can see so much regret and sorrow in his eyes as he slowly walks over to you, reaching out and lightly touching your shoulders.

“Please, baby.” he reaches for your wrist and brushes his fingers over the skin, already bruising. When your eyes meet, you can see tears forming in his.

“Hey,” Tess calls out to you and you turn to see her standing hand in hand with Jimmy, too intoxicated with each other to notice John as he quickly wipes away tears. “We’re gonna head home. Back to our place. See you there?”

You nod and grab your purse from her, heading to John’s car. The both of you sit in silence for a few moments, tension hanging in there.

“Can we go?” you ask, wanting to crawl into bed and forget this ever happened.

Thankfully, the car ride is short, but as John pulls up to a stop light, he looks over at your wrist and he lets out a sigh that catches your attention. When you see him looking, you sit on your hands, trying to hide it from him. He grips the steering wheel and drives a little faster than usual.

Pulling up in front of your house, he turns the car off, but doesn’t move. As you get out and start walking to the door, you turn around and see him still sitting in his car, staring at his hands in his lap. You walk back over to his car and knock on the window, offering him a sweet smile and his eyes start to sparkle. Opening his door for him, he gets out and you begin walking back inside with him following behind.

You head to the bathroom to change into your pajamas and playfully hop onto your bed, hoping John will see you and it will change his mood. His shoulders are tense and he sits on the chair at your desk, still looking at his hands.

He scared you, you can admit that. In your heart, you know he would never hurt you. You should have never snuck up on him and you regret it terribly. Looking over at John only made you feel worse when you realize how much he’s beating himself up for it.

_Why are you such an idiot? Look at him!_

Pulling the covers back you tap the spot next to you, calling him over to you. He glances up at you and back down to his hands again.

“John,” you continue patting the bed and he looks back up to you, “Please.”

You give him the most pathetic look and it seems to work. He gets up and removes his clothes, climbing into bed in just his boxers, but keeping his distance from you. When you scoot closer to him, it only makes him move away. You try one more time, hoping he’ll pull you into his chest, and you’re offended when he scoots away almost falling off your bed.

Trying your hardest, you wrap your hands around his bicep and pull him to the center of your bed. Unable to move him, he turns to look at you and you can see a smile forming that quickly fades when your eyes meet.

“What are you doing?”

“I want you to hold me.  _Please_.” you sit back and pout. You know you’re being childish, but you’re trying anything to get John to cheer up.

He anchors his attention on your wrist and you hide it under the blanket. He feels around and when he finds it, he rubs circles over the bruises that have blossomed like a bracelet around your wrist.

His hair has fallen over his face and you push it back, then press a soft kiss to his temple, laying down next to him and he scoots closer to you. “It’s okay.”

He shakes his head fast, “No…it’s not.”

He begins backing away again when you place your hand on his chest, keeping him in place. You inch your way closer to him and feel him tense up.

“It was an accident, I’m not mad at you. Shit happens, right?” you let out a small chuckle and immediately feel bad when he still looks so sad.

He rolls onto his side, facing you, and he brings your wrist to his lips and presses soothing kisses to it. You can feel his tongue just behind his lips as it grazes your skin. John scoots closer to you, leaning in to kiss you. His tongue pushes past your lips and into your mouth and you let out a quiet moan.

His hand glides up your shirt, caressing your back and he pulls you on top of him. You sit up and remove your shirt, tossing it to the side. His eyes raking over your bare chest and his cock twitches on your inner thigh.

“I’m sorry, I can’t help it.” John is ashamed and his face turns red.

Rolling off him quickly, you take off your shorts and begin pulling at his boxers. He carefully grabs your hand to stop you, “Not tonight.”

You let out a small whimper and you feel your eyes burning as they fill with tears. You crawl to your side of the bed as tears fall down your cheeks with your back turned to him. John hears you cover a sniffle with your hand and he wraps his arm around you, spooning you. His hand travels up to your cheek and he turns your face so you’re looking at him.

“I adore you.” he whispers.

He pecks your lips twice and takes a minute to look carefully at your face; captivated by you. His lips crash against yours, covering your mouth with his own. He’s pulling his boxers down as he crawls on top of you and his mouth never leaves yours. With one hand, you reach down and guide him inside you, burning as you stretch around his cock. You’re hot and pulsing, ready for him.

He kisses up and down your neck and grabs your wrist and kisses it as he begins to thrust. His thrusts are slow and deep, and when a tear runs down your cheek, he quickly kisses your eyes, hoping to stop your crying. A moan escapes your lips and you cover your mouth when you remember you’re not home alone.

“I’m so in love with you, Jonathan.” You pull him closer to you and his breathing is getting heavier.

His thrusts get deeper and more meaningful as he’s pouring himself into you. He lets out a small moan and it’s music to your ears. He rolls his hips and finds your hidden spot as you begin to lose control. He grabs your leg and puts it over his shoulder to move deeper in you. Your hair falls in your face and he reaches up pushing it back and cupping your face with both hands.

“I want you more than anything.” he says, and the words wash over you like a wave as he reaches around your back, hugging you tight to his chest in attempt to become one with you.

He gives you a searing kiss and it feels like something out of Heaven when his tongue glides against yours. He tastes like Bourbon and you start to feel yourself fading. He breaks away from the kiss and buries his face in the crook of your neck, and you feel him kissing your shoulder, breathing lightly on your neck and it tickles.

Moving in sync with one another, he massages your breasts and the bed begins to shake from the force of his thrusts. You look up and see beads of sweat forming on his face, so you grab the blanket that’s covering his ass and throw it on the floor.

He pauses and stares deep into your eyes, “I knew my heart was yours the moment I met you.”

You roll on top of him and bury him deep in you and watch as he closes his eyes, biting down on his lip. He sits up to lean back against your headboard and pulls you closer to him, arms wrapping around your waist tight. His tongue runs over your nipple and you tilt your head back as you moan.

You begin rolling your hips and you feel yourself reaching your end, your nerves pulled tight. You let out a silent wail against his neck and tighten around him when you feel a warmth burst inside of you. The bed bangs against the wall as you both ride out your orgasms, and John lets out a throaty moan that surely everyone in the house has heard.

He pulls you back to look you in the eyes and he reaches toward your face, tracing your cheek and chin with his thumb. He reaches down and grabs your hand, placing it on his cheek. You run your hand over his cheek, and your fingers brush across his eyebrows and down his nose to his lips. When your finger reaches his mouth, he presses a kiss to it.

Sex has never been some magical thing for you. You don’t see fireworks and you don’t hear a choir, but with John, it’s different. You feel whole. Complete. Wincing as you pull apart, you find yourself feeling empty, missing him already. He grabs the blanket from the floor and tucks you into him. His fingers intertwine with yours and you grab his hands, pressing a single kiss to each finger.

“Get some rest.” he whispers into your hair and kisses you gently and rocks you to sleep.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warnings:** NSFW

Your eyes are heavy as you open them to the sound of your bedroom door being closed. You look over your shoulder, hoping John is still in bed with you and your heart sinks a little when you see he’s gone. 

You exhale and roll onto your back, scrub the sleep away from your face and lay there for a few minutes before forcing your body to move to the bathroom for a shower.

Rubbing soap on your wrist, you hope it’ll wash away your bruises. After a few minutes of scrubbing, you give up and head out to get dressed. You pull on some jeans and make sure to grab a sweater that will cover your wrists to keep John from staring at it and you sit down at your desk.

Looking over at your bed, the memories of the night before replay in your head. Seeing John so vulnerable and in love pulls at your heart strings. You get up and walk over to your bed, laying down in John’s spot and feel yourself drifting away as you inhale his cologne which is faint on his pillow.

Your eyes snap open when you hear a loud bang from the kitchen. Jumping up from your bed, you head to see what it was. When you get to the bottom of the stairs, you hear a man’s voice and know it’s not John’s, and you cautiously peek around the corner.

“Damn it. It’s not in there. If you were coffee, where would you be?” he puts his hands out in front of him and backs away from the pantry closet.

_Well_ _,_ _well_ _,_ _well, Jimmy stayed the night._

“Cupboard next to the fridge.”

He jumps at the sound of your voice and his cheeks flush with red. “Ah!”

He opens the cupboard, grabs it and starts the coffee maker. Jimmy sits down on the stool and looks down at the counter avoiding your gaze; a little embarrassed.

“Hey, I’m sorry if I woke you up, I just wanted to make some coffee for everyone, but...” he points at the pans scattered on the floor, “As you can see, I had no idea where it was.”

You let out a small laugh and begin picking up the pans placing them back in the cupboard, “It’s okay, you didn’t wake me up.”

“Is John still here? Sorry.” he apologizes, having crossed a boundary.

“No, I…” you sigh and lean against the kitchen island across from Jimmy, checking the clock for the time. 10:45. You look out the window to where his car was parked last night and see that’s gone. “I think he left for the day. His car is gone.”

Jimmy shifts in his seat a little and looks at you for a few moments, then looks away when the coffee maker grumbles. “He’s a good guy, you know? He’s had a pretty rough life, been through some shit. He really likes you, I can tell. I think you’re good for him. Just…be careful.”

_Rough life? Been through some shit? Be careful?_

You look confused and open your mouth to speak when the door opens and John walks in with his hands full. Running to his side to help him, you take a box from his hands. Relieved that he didn’t take off, you look up at him in amazement as he leans down to kiss you.

“I got breakfast.” he lifts up the boxes to show you, and they’re filled with delicious pastries.

“I can see that.” you say, laughing.

“Hey, Jimmy.” John walks over and places the box on the table and reaches out to shake Jimmy’s hand.

You’re a little confused as to why he’s so happy considering what happened at the restaurant, but when you remember how the night ended, you’re pleased with yourself and you struggle to not pat yourself on the back.

“You people do  _not_  know how to be quiet.” Tess emerges from her room and quickly walks over to Jimmy, wrapping her arms around him.

When she catches you looking, you wink at her and she grins. Jimmy quickly gets up and runs to get her a cup of coffee, then hands it to her as they lean in close and begin whispering.

You look over at John who is sitting in the chair across the room with his hands resting in his lap. For a moment, he almost looks like an angel with the sun glowing softly behind him and you make your way over to him.

“Hi.” you smile softly and he looks up at you.

“Can I talk to you?” he takes your hand and quickly leads you to your room. He sits on the edge of your bed and pulls you into his lap. Reaching out, he takes your wrist into his hand and rubs it, “Are you okay?”

“Yeah.” you nod your head and lean down to kiss him on his nose, “I’m fine.”

He looks up at you and smirks, handing you an oblong box, “Here.”

You carefully take the box and look at him, “What’s this?”

“Open it.”

You open the box and see a beautiful diamond bracelet and you quickly shut it, shoving it into his chest, “John, I can’t. You promised no more gifts, remember?”

His eyes are soft, and you can still see sorrow in them and you know what he’s thinking about. He gently kisses your shoulder and opens the box, taking out the bracelet, “Please, take it. I want you to have it, so you can look at this instead of…” his voice trails off as his fingers graze your bruises and you shiver at the lightness of his touches.

It’s a simple bracelet with 6 diamonds on a cable chain, and it looks small and delicate in his hands. He pushes back the sleeve of your sweater and carefully fastens the bracelet over your wrist. A smile tugs at his lips as he admires it. Just from the looks of it, you know it was an expensive purchase.

“It’s beautiful, thank you.” your fingers run over the bracelet and touch lightly on the bruises still lingering on your skin. He leans up and his hand cups your cheek, kissing you gently. “I’m not mad at you, I never was. You’re always on alert, I get it.”

He pulls back and looks at you, mouth slightly open. “Why…would you think I’m always on alert?” His eyes narrow a little and his eyes scan your face, waiting for you to respond.

“You were in the Marines. I’m sure you’re used to always being on edge.”

He swallows hard and looks relieved, letting out a big breath, “Oh, yeah.”

You snake one arm around his neck and pull his head to rest against your chest. His breath is light on your skin and it tickles.

“I’m sad that I won’t see you much this week. The shop always gets super busy during the fall, so I’ll be working a lot.” you look down and start playing with the bracelet, running your fingers over the beautiful diamonds. In the sun, they shine bright and sparkle.

John squeezes your leg gently, bringing your attention back to him, “I’m gonna head home, I have a lot of work to do. I have to go into the city this week. I’m not sure how long I’ll be.”

You get up and bury your face in his chest as he kisses the top of your head and rubs your back. After a few minutes, you head down to the front door. You look over at Tess and Jimmy who are still in each other’s arms, laughing and talking. You feel your heart flutter at the sight of them together and begin smiling.

You grab John’s hand and bring it to your mouth, pressing kisses to it, “I’m gonna miss you.”

You press his palm against your cheek, closing your eyes as the heat soaks into your skin. He removes his hand from your cheek and caresses your breast.

“John.” you say, warning him. You raise an eyebrow and he begins to smirk.

“What?” he whispers, and you nod toward Tess and Jimmy and he turns around to look at them. “Oh, right.”

“Maybe one night this week I can get off a little early and if you’re home, I’ll stop by.” you smirk, leaning closer to his face.

John looks ashamed as he grows harder in his pants and he quickly shakes it off, calming himself down.

Opening the door, he steps out onto the porch and quickly kisses you, “Goodbye, baby.”

Walking back inside, Tess and Jimmy are still talking, so you quickly grab some breakfast and head to your room. You’re looking at a magazine when you hear a knock at your door.

“Hey, can I come in?” Tess says as she pops her head in.

You wave her over to your bed and pat the spot in front of you, “What’s up?”

She looks down at your bed and then back up at you, trying to hide a smile, “I really like him.”

“Good, he’s really nice. I like him. John did good, didn’t he?” you say and feel a sense of pride.

Tess jumps up from your bed and heads to your closet, “He asked me out again, so I might need to borrow something of yours.”

“Yeah, go ahead, I have that really cute red dress you might like-–”

Tess cuts you off and gasps, “Is this John’s?”

You look over as she slips on John’s suit jacket, “Oh, yeah.”

“Wow, he’s a lot bigger than I thought.”

“Yeah, he is.” you smirk, and she catches on quickly and winks.

As she makes her way over to the mirror, she pulls something out of the pocket, “What’s this?”

You walk over to Tess and grab it out of her hand, “It’s a coin.”

“Oh, like one of those coins you get in Vegas?” she says as she’s checking herself out in the mirror.

“Well, yeah, but I don’t think this is from Vegas. It’s so shiny and clean. It says something in a different language too.”

After staring at it for a few moments, you leave your room and burst into to April’s.

“Come to the kitchen.” you turn to leave and poke your head back in the doorway, “And bring your laptop.”

April hops up from her bed, grabbing her laptop and races to the kitchen. Tess is pulling a pastry out of the box and positions herself on the counter. April looks so worried and you take a moment to calm her down.

“It’s okay, we’re not dying or anything, but we need your help,” you pull out the gold coin and place it on the counter, “What is this?”

April grabs the coin and looks it over, “A coin, obviously. But it’s not like a coin you get at a casino.”

You look over at Tess and she rolls her eyes.

“It looks like it’s maybe used as some form of currency. Where did you find this?”

“It was tucked away in John’s pocket.” you start to think about what Jimmy had said to you earlier and how John reacted to you at the restaurant. You sit down and put your head in your hands, “It could be nothing, but…”

“I’ll try to look it up. Is it okay if I keep this? Just while I research it.” April holds up the coin, inspecting it.

“Yeah, but if John is here, make sure it’s out of sight. I don’t want him to think I’m questioning him.” you nod and exhale, leaning down on the counter.

April raises an eyebrow, “Aren’t you though?”


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warnings:** None

The week passes by slowly and you’re missing John. He’s been in the city working all week and you’ve only been able to speak with him twice, both of your schedules conflicting; mostly yours.

It’s a gloomy Thursday evening, the sky is covered with thick gray clouds and it looks like it’s going to rain any minute. Closing time is soon and John is finally on his way home from another business trip, and you’re in a hurry to get everything tidied up so you can close up.

You’re putting away some books on the shelves and of course, they all go on the highest shelf and you are much too short to reach. You stand on your tip toes, tongue stuck out slightly as you try your hardest to reach the top shelf when a big hand grabs the book from you and slides it into place.

“Need some help?” 

You turn around to see a man standing behind you, too close for your comfort. He’s tall and quite handsome, his hair is short and his beard is peppered with gray. His eyes are soft and kind, a steely blue.

It was near closing time and you didn’t know there was even anyone left in the shop. You brush your hair out of your face, “Thanks. I’m just too short, I guess. I should probably invest in a stool.”

“I’ve never seen you in here before, are you new?” he leans against the bookshelf and tucks his hands in his coat pockets.

_Okay, he’s clearly hitting on you._

“Um, no. I’ve worked here for a while actually.” you reach down grabbing more books, placing them on the shelf.

He moves in closer and lightly touches your arm, “I can’t believe I’ve never noticed you. You’re a beautiful girl.”

It’s a nice compliment, of course you’d rather it was coming from John. Suddenly, you find yourself thinking about John when the stranger snaps his fingers jokingly, gaining your attention.

“My name’s Matt.” he reaches and shakes your hand. He leans in, still holding your hand and reads your name tag.

“Nice to meet you.” you let go of his hand quickly and cross your arms.

He continues asking about the shop and books. His mouth is going a mile a minute and you can’t get a word in.

_Please stop talking._

Growing tired of his questions, you huff and point to the books on the floor, “ I’m sorry to be rude, but I need to get back to work.”

“Oh! Yes, sorry, I’ll let you get back to work. Maybe I’ll see you around here sometime.” he touches your arm again and you flinch.

“Well, I do work here.” you reply a little harsher than intended and hear the bell ringing above the door.

Relief washes over you when you see John walking in. It’s been over a month since you’ve been together, but you swear he’s getting more and more handsome by the day, and when you see him, you still get butterflies. He walks right up to you, not even acknowledging Matt. He leans down and pecks you quickly. Matt clears his throat and John turns around only just noticing him.

“Again, it was nice to meet you.” he reaches out for your hand again and shakes it, holding it a little too long and John notices.

John squints his eyes at Matt and takes a hard look at him, “Do I know you?”

His voice is deep and the words almost come out as a growl, it’s spine-tingling.

Matt starts getting nervous and backs away slowly, “Uh, no, I don’t think so. I gotta go.”

John watches him closely, not saying anything as he leaves the shop. You begin putting the books back with John’s help. The shop is eerily quiet and a few minutes pass before John says anything.

“Who was that?” he asks softly, trying to hide his jealousy.

“I’m not sure, just some guy who came in here and started talking to me.” you grab the cart and head back to the storage room, and John follows and closes the door behind him.

Putting more books on the cart for tomorrow, you feel John press against you, already hard in his pants. He moves your hair and begins kissing your neck, and he wraps his arms around your waist as his hand travels to your jeans and he starts unbuttoning them.

“Jonathan, what are you doing?” you smile and grab his hand, stopping him. He kisses and bites along your jaw and down your neck. “I’m working.”

“Didn’t you miss me?” his mouth is pressed against your neck as he speaks. He’s much stronger than you and he moves his hand out of your grasp and quickly unbuttons your pants, “BecauseImissed  _you_.”

His hand slides down your pants and into your underwear as he slips his middle finger inside you. His breath is uneven against your ear, and you can hear him smiling as he begins stroking you. You tilt your head back against his chest, squeezing your eyes shut. He bucks his hips against your ass and it almost knocks you forward, but he keeps a tight grip on your waist with his other hand.

You remove his hand from your pants and turn around to face him. His cheeks are flushed and he grabs you by the waist, then lifts you up onto the table. He wraps his arms around your waist and his hands travels to your ass, squeezing it.

“John…” you put your hands on his chest and lightly push him off you, “Are you… _jealous_ of a random guy hitting on me?”

He looks down like a child who has just gotten caught stealing cookies, “No.”

“I think you are.” You tilt your head and raise an eyebrow at him. You reach up and slowly start unbuttoning your shirt and he licks his lips. His hands are by his side and he clenches them, trying his hardest not to touch you. “You don’t need to be jealous, you know why?”

“W-why?” he swallows hard and his eyes break from yours to look at your chest.

You smirk as you remove your shirt and reach behind your back, unhooking your bra. He’s slowly moving closer, and you reach out and grab his hands, bringing them up to cup your breasts.

“Because I’m in love with  _you_.” you grab his shoulders and pull him close.

Holding your face with his hands, he bites down on your bottom lip, bringing it into his mouth, sucking on it. He lays you down gently on the table and removes your pants quickly. His beard is brushing against your stomach and it tickles, causing you both to laugh. He presses needy kisses all over your stomach and thighs.

You sit up straight when you look at the time, “I need to lock up.”

John adjusts himself in his pants and runs to the front door, flipping the sign from open to closed and locks the door. When he comes back, he’s already unbuttoning his pants and you start to laugh.

“Well, aren’t you eager?” you reach out to him and wrap your legs around his waist as he begins kissing you, tongues gliding against one another.

Unbuttoning his shirt, you notice a bruise on his chest and frown. You pull his shirt back and are shocked when it covers the entire right side of his chest and shoulder.

You run your fingers over it and he gently grabs your hand to stop you. “John, what the hell?”

“It’s nothing.” Still holding onto your hand, he keeps kissing you, hoping it will redirect your attention. You pull back and look at him as he tries to find an excuse, but can’t. “I’m fine.”

You sigh and kiss him on the cheek. You throw your clothes back on and hop off the table, “Let’s go home.”

__

Back at your house, Bleu is excited to see John and the three of you hide away in your room for the night. You’re falling asleep when there’s knock on your bedroom door. John carefully removes you from his arms and gets up to answer it.

“Oh! Hi, John. I didn’t know you were here.” April peeks around the door as you start to sit up. “I need to talk to you.”

You rub the sleep from your eyes and yawn. “Okay. What’s up?”

April shakes her head slowly, “No, it’s…private.”

You turn to John, who is already laying back down to watch the movie and you tap his leg, “I’ll be right back.”

You get up and quietly close the door behind you and head to the kitchen.

“Okay, so I’ve been looking up everything I can about this coin. I went to some _really_ weird websites and there’s not much to be said about these coins but…” she sighs and sits down, “I did find some site that said it’s a form of currency.”

You nod your head, “Well, that’s not uncommon. People collect money from other countries all the time.”

April sighs and reaches out to grab your hand, “This isn’t money from another country. It’s some weird form of currency for the Russian mob or something.”

You burst out laughing and shake your head, “John Wick… _my_  John. Russian mobster. Okay.”

Your laughter fades when you start remembering little things: the man at the gas station, the bruises, the business trips. Your hand covers your mouth and tears fill your eyes.

April runs over to hug you, “I’m so sorry. I didn’t want this to happen.”

After calming yourself down, you head back to your room and when you open the door, you find John fast asleep. He looks peaceful and content. His lips are turned up a little into a small smile. His hair is spread like a dark fan against the pillow and his hands are tucked under it, holding the pillow tight. You feel your heart start to beat a little faster.

_Who is he?_

You turn off the TV and lamp, crawling into bed next to John – against your better judgment. John rolls over to wrap his arm around you and quickly kisses your cheek before falling back asleep. You feel dizzy as your head fills with endless questions and before long, you’re falling asleep in John’s arms.

__

The sound of your alarm wakes you and you reach over turning it off. When your hand doesn’t bump into a giant man that you assume is next to you, you shoot up. Instead of John, there’s a little piece of paper laying on his pillow. You unfold it and read the words:

**_My love,_ ** **** **_I’ve gone to the city for some business, I won’t be long. Make yourself at home if I’m not there._ ** **_-Jonathan_ ** ****

You fold the note back up and open your drawer on your side table, tucking it away.

_Business? Again?_

You huff and shake your head, trying to rid your mind of all the bad thoughts. Grabbing your towel, you head into the bathroom and get ready for the day.

__

Your shift at the shop is fairly short today, only needing to help the new girl you’ve hired. While you’re organizing the books, you feel a light tap on your shoulder and turn around to find Matt standing there.

“Hey.”

“Hi.” you lean down and grab a book, placing it in its proper spot.

Matt grabs a chair and pulls it up next to you and you sigh, a little annoyed. He’s not going away, so you just grin and bear it.

“That guy yesterday? Your boyfriend?”

You can feel his eyes as he’s checking you out and you nod your head, “Yeah.”

“Lucky guy.” he grabs a book off the shelf and looks it over before putting it back in the wrong spot causing you to roll your eyes.

You check your watch.  _Ten more minutes, you can do this._

“Thanks,” you let out a polite laugh. You finish organizing the books and look over at Matt, “I’m done for the day, so if you need help with anything you can ask Grace,” you point to the petite blonde sitting behind the register, “She’s new but she should be able to help you with everything.”

You head to the back, grabbing your bag and wave to Grace as you leave for the day. You’re almost to your car when you hear someone calling after you.

“Hey, wait up.” Before you even turn around you know it’s him.  _Matt_. “I’m sorry, I just…I know you have a boyfriend but…”

You raise your eyebrows, astonished. “ _Really_?”

“I could take you out, somewhere nice.” he leans against your car.

“I’m sure you’re a nice guy, but I’m not interested.” you open your car door and put your bag in.

“Well, if you and your boyfriend break up,” he hands you a piece of paper with his number written on it. “Give me a call.”

He turns and disappears around the corner.

__

You pull into your driveway, then head across the street to John’s house. Bleu is in the window barking and you wave at him. Opening the door, he rushes to your side and begins whining for your attention. You can tell John isn’t home yet, so you head to the kitchen and grab something quick to eat.

“Bleu, have you been a good boy today?”

Bleu sits in front of you and his tail drums against the floor. You walk over to where John keeps the treats and Bleu begins to whine. Reaching in, you grab one and place it on his nose. He’s still and calm, and he waits for your instructions.

“Get it!” Bleu snaps his jaw and the treat is gone in a blink.

You open the back door and let him out while you wander around John’s house. As you walk past the basement door, you notice the light is on.

_Maybe he is home._

“John,” you call out as you make your way down the stairs, “Jonathan, are you home?”

As soon as you hit the last step, a heavy feeling sets into your stomach. On the floor is a trunk full of gold coins and guns. You kneel down next to it and your fingers run over the cool metal of the guns. Taking a gold coin in your hand, you look it over and recognize it from the one Tess found in John’s pocket.  

“Oh, my god.” your hands begins to shake and you suddenly can’t breathe. You feel light headed, so you sit back on the steps and place your head in your hands. “Shit.” you scramble to your feet and tuck the coin in your pocket.

John will be home soon and you don’t want to be caught, you weren’t ready for this conversation, but now you have no other choice. Wanting to be as calm as you can be for when he arrives, you head back upstairs and sit on the patio until John pulls into the driveway 30 minutes later.

He looks so happy to see you, and it breaks your heart knowing the night is going to take a turn and he has no idea.

“Hi, beautiful.” he leans down to kiss you and you kiss him back hard, knowing this will the last time your lips meet for awhile. He sits down next to you and rubs your back, “How was your day?”

“It was fine.” you look down and wipe off your pants, you’re a little harsh and short.

John can read your every emotion and he can sense something is wrong. He moves so he’s kneeling in front of you and his hands are on your thighs, and his thumbs are gently rubbing your legs, “What’s wrong?”

When you don’t look at him, he grabs your chin, tilting your head up until your gazes meet. You inhale deeply and your voice is shaky with anger and nervousness.

“Would you ever lie to me?”

He looks away quickly and stands up to sit next to you, “No, why?”

You narrow your eyes and turn to face him, “Are you sure?”

“Yes.” he grabs your hand and squeezes it.

You sigh, then reach into your pocket and pull out the gold coin. Holding it up, you watch as his eyes grow wide. His eyes flicker from the coin then back to your face.

“What is this? And  _don’t_  lie to me.” you say through gritted teeth.

Quickly, he ducks his head down to look where your hands are intertwined.

“Where did you get that?” his voice is low and deep, and it starts to shake when he speaks.

“No, John.  _I’m_ asking the questions here.” The anger leaps off your lips and he looks up at you, his mouth frozen open and stunned. He doesn’t reply for what seems like minutes and you huff. “Jonathan!” his name comes out loud and he flinches.

His mouth opens and he pauses for a few seconds before he starts to speak, “I can’t tell you.”

You exhale, getting up from the bench and keep your back turned to him, “Of course you can’t. How about the guns in your basement? Can you tell me about that?”

When you turn around, John is right behind you, reaching out for you.

“Don’t.” you back away with every step he takes and put your hand up to stop him. “Did a little research on this.” you wiggle the coin in your hand, “Russian mob.”

You start to laugh when you hear how absurd it sounds and John wrings his hands as he slowly starts walking towards you. He reaches out and presses his thumb to your cheek and under his touch, you start to cry.

John holds you tight to his chest and you begin to sob. You push yourself out of his arms after a few minutes and drop the coin on the table. Grabbing your bag, you head for the door.

As you open the door, John’s hand is on it slamming it shut, “Please…don’t do this. Don’t leave like this.”

His nostrils flare as his eyes become filled with tears. He looks sad and confused, and even though you’re pissed off at him, you want to console him. You cross your arms in front of your chest to stop yourself from reaching up and moving his hair out of his face.

“I’m done, Jonathan. You’ve been lying to me. You had so many chances to tell me, and I still don’t even know what you’re hiding from me. You won’t tell me anything. Business trips every week for binding books? The big bruises you randomly get from ‘falling down’, when I’ve never even seen you lose your footing. Do you think I’m an idiot?” you sigh and look at him carefully as he leans against the door, a small tear staining his cheek. “I mean…maybe I am. I should have noticed this sooner.”

You look down to your wrist and touch over where the bruises are still slightly visible.

“Don’t do this… _please_.” he shakes his head and reaches out to touch you and you swat his hand away.

“John, don’t.” you close your eyes and let out a deep breath.

“I didn’t expect to fall this hard,” he reaches out and grabs your hand pulling you closer, “I’m in love with you.”

“No! You don’t get to do that.” you move out of his grasp and back away quickly. You try to hold back the tears, but one slips out and you quickly wipe it away. “You don’t get to say things like that to me right now. You’ve been lying to me, John.  _For weeks_.” your voice breaks as you begin to cry harder, “I don’t even know who you are.”

The words hit him like a freight train and you can tell you’ve hurt his feelings. He quickly looks down and stuffs his hands in his pockets. You reach out, touching his bicep and he easily move out of the way.

You open the door and turn around to look at him, “Please don’t call me, I need time. I’ll call you when I’m ready.”  

You slam the door behind you and hear John let out a loud scream; one full of anger and sadness, which only breaks your heart even more. An avalanche of tears trickle down your face as you stumble back to your house.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warnings:** None.

Two weeks have passed since you walked out of John’s house, and you’ve been calling into work and having a pity party for yourself. Today, you’re laying in bed watching crappy soap operas and stuffing your face with chips. There’s a quiet knock at your door and you roll over, groaning as you get out of bed.

“Yeah?” As you open the door, you see Tess standing in yoga pants and a sweater.

“Let’s go for a walk.” she holds up two bottles of water and reaches out, handing one to you and shakes it in your face. You groan and throw yourself back on your bed.

“Why?” your voice is muffled as you speak into your pillow and she starts tugging at your ratty sweatshirt.

“Come on, just around the block.” she starts to stretch like she’s getting ready to run a 5k.

“Fine.” you say as you let out a loud groan.

She starts down the stairs before calling out to you, “Change your clothes though.”

Grabbing a pair of yoga pants, you pull on a clean sweater, tie your hair back and head to the front porch. The fresh air burns your nose when you inhale, and it’s quiet except for the crunching of leaves under you feet as you walk and dogs barking in the distance.

“Look, I know you’re upset with him, but…” she grabs a leaf off the ground as she’s walking and crumples it in her hand, “You haven’t told us anything about what happened.”

You rub your eyes, trying to rid the tears at the thought of John, “He lied to me. I still don’t know what he was lying about, to be honest.” you look over and hope she won’t judge him for what you’re about to say, “He had coins…and  _guns_ in his basement.”

She gives you a quizzical look, “Russian mob?”

You look over at her quickly, wondering how she found out. April obviously told her, the three of you tell each other everything.

“I don’t know. I guess.” you shrug.

“He came in to the shop the other day.” Tess says quickly, like she’s peeling off a band aid. “ _Sorry_ , I was gonna tell you, but you were so sad and I didn’t want to hurt your feelings.”

“Did he ask for me?” you ask, softly.

“No, he didn’t. He just dropped off some books for the silent auction. We didn’t really talk though.”

“Oh.” you shrug and pretend to not be hurt. Trying to change the subject, you ask about Jimmy, “How is he?”

Tess tries to hide a smile, and you nudge her shoulder as she starts to laugh, “He’s good…really good. He’s so nice to me, it’s weird. I’m not used to it.”

“Yeah, now you know I feel. Well, felt.” you correct yourself.

“Should I be worried about him though? I mean, with John and everything.” Tess looks so worried and you try to reassure her.

You shake your head, “I don’t think so, Jimmy was the one who warned me anyway.”

As you round the corner back to your street, you hear a car roar to life and you instantly know it’s John. He pulls out of his driveway and looks over to you. You feel yourself freeze in place as tears begin to prick your eyes at the sight of him. You shake your head; a silent dismissal. He presses hard on the gas and peels out of the neighborhood, leaving skid marks on the street and the smell of burnt rubber in the air.

__

On her way back from the laundry room, April grabs a little piece of paper from the floor and looks it over, “Who is Matt?”

“How do you know about Matt?” you look up from your book at her, puzzled.

“This piece of paper was on the floor. Is he cute?” April plops on the couch and smirks.

“Eh, he’s alright. He came into work a few weeks back and asked me out. I obviously said no.” you roll your eyes.

April hands the paper to you, “You should call him.”

You let out a huge laugh and it feels good. You haven’t had a proper laugh in weeks, “No, thanks. Maybe _you_ should call him.”

“He didn’t give his number to me, he gave it to  _you_.” she stands up and starts folding her laundry, “It wouldn’t hurt to go out with someone, ya know? You can’t sit around and mope about John forever. It’s a free meal, if anything.”

“I guess you’re right. It’s harmless fun, right?” you grab your phone and carefully dial his number, “Hi, Matt. Yeah…it’s me. I was wondering…”

You look up at April who is on edge as she sits down.

“Oh… _t_ _onight_? Yeah, I’ll see you in an hour then.” you hang up the phone and cover your face with your hand.

April jumps up and squeals.

“God, that was easy.” you get from the couch and head to your room.  _Too easy._

____

After getting ready, you head to your closet for a coat and you see John’s jacket. It looks so sad hanging in the center of your closet with no other clothes around, and you begin to think about how lonely John must be feeling lately. You pull it off the hanger and wrap yourself in it. His cologne is faint, but you can still smell him on it. You close your eyes and inhale, getting light headed. Shaking your head and taking it off, you toss it on your bed and head out for your date.

Matt is waiting outside the restaurant and you wave to him. He makes his way over to you and hugs you, catching you off guard.

“Wow, you look amazing.” He takes a step back and checks you out. You laugh and brush it off as your cheeks turn pink. Matt gestures to the door, “Shall we?”

“Yeah.” you nod.

Matt leans in close to you and he smells like mint, “How have you been? I’ve come into the shop a few times and you weren’t there.”

Quickly, you look for an excuse, “Oh, uh, just some family stuff. And I was under the weather for a while, so I just took some time off.”

“Thought you might have left town with your boyfriend.” he nearly spits at the mention of John and you’re almost offended until you remember you’re upset with him. “You’re still with him, aren’t you?”

You laugh, “Trust me, if I was, I definitely wouldn’t be out to dinner with you.” your eyes widen and you begin apologizing, “I’m sorry that didn’t come out how I meant.”

He brushes it off and begins looking at the menu, occasionally looking up at you over his menu, “So, you two broke up? What happened?

You try to find the words, but just shrug, “It’s complicated.”

“Well, you can tell me about it. We’re friends, right?” he lays the menu down and fold his hands in front of himself.

“There’s nothing to say really, we just had a falling out.” you close your menu and set it back on the table as the waitress walks up and asks for your orders.

Matt continues talking about himself, occasionally throwing jabs at John. The candle on the table flickers and catches your attention, and you’re half-tempted to pour the hot wax on yourself just to get out of this date.

_Why did you agree to this again?_

You take a big sip of your champagne and Matt waves over the waitress, asking to refill your glass.

“So, you have roommates?” he asks as he chews his food.

“I do. Tess and April.”

“Tess works with you at the book shop?” he asks, taking a big sip of his drink.

You nod and take a sip of your champagne, “Yup.”

“Mill Neck is quite a nice neighborhood, how do you afford to live there? You can’t make  _that_  much working at a book shop.”

You’re taken aback by how blunt he is and laugh, “April’s parents own our house. We pay rent, but it’s nothing compared to what it would be if her parents didn’t own it. And April originally lived there alone, but wanted roommates since she didn’t feel safe on her own.”

Matt holds your gaze for a moment, then looks away to the crowd of people flooding in the door.

“So…” he wipes his mouth clean with his napkin and his hand travels to yours, his fingers lightly brush against your bracelet, “John was his name?”

You look at him and furrow your brow, quickly placing your hands in your lap, “Uh, yeah. How did you–”

“I overheard you talking about him once…at the shop.” he adds quickly.

“Oh, right.” you nod.

“Was he good to you? Did he cheat or something?” he puts his hands up as you shoot him a dirty look. “Sorry!” A few moments pass and he’s back to asking questions about John. “Did he work somewhere in the city?”

You shake your head and look down, checking your watch, “It’s getting kind of late. I’m sorry, I have to work in the morning, I should have told you when I called.”

You stand up to leave as Matt pays the bill.  _April was right, it was a free meal. Terrible, but free._

Standing in front of the restaurant, you hug Matt goodbye, thank him for dinner, and quickly head for your car. When you get in and turn the key, your car sputters. You take the key out and try once more, giving it a little gas this time. No luck.

You rest your head on the steering wheel and sigh, “Fuck. Why me?”

A knock at your window makes you jump and you see Matt standing there, “Need some help?”

You exhale and get out of your car, “My car won’t start.”

You rub your forehead and start laughing at the thought of walking home. It’s not far, but in heels it’ll be quite a trek.

“I guess I should start walking.” You lock your car and start walking when Matt reaches out to touch your elbow.

“Hey, I can give you a ride. I’m sure you’re not far from me.”

__

The car ride is quiet and awkward, and you make a silent vow to never go on a date again. You want to laugh when you think of the vast difference between this date and your first date with John. 

He pulls up in front of your house and gets out before you can even unbuckle yourself. His arm snakes around your shoulder and can’t help but feel a little sick when his hand brushes your shoulder which makes you scrunch up your face.

“Thank you for dinner, I’m sorry if I was a bore. Just a little tired.” you shift in place and cross your arms in front of yourself, “Ya know, from being sick and all.”

Matt leans in to kiss you when you hear something in the dark running towards you, and you dodge Matt just in time.

“Bleu!” you reach down and pet him as his tail goes wild, “What are you doing out this late?”

You stand up and look around for John when you see him making his way across the street and calling out to Bleu, who is now cautiously sniffing Matt.

John stands on the sidewalk, waiting for Bleu, and he gets a little annoyed as Bleu sits at your feet and refuses to move. Matt clears his throat and leans in to kiss your cheek, and from the corner of your eye, you see John look away.

“I’ll see you later.” he heads down the sidewalk and nods at John, walking past and getting in his truck and driving off.

John stuff his hands in his pocket and starts walking towards you as he gets closer, you can smell the familiar scent his cologne. You feel safe and at home.

“Hey, sorry to interrupt your date. I let Bleu out, but he must have heard you and he just took off.” he says, softly.

He looks at the ground, and for a moment his eyes sparkle in the light and he looks like he’s tearing up at the thought of you with someone else. John is too good of a man to stop you from dating anyone else, but he’s still hurt and it’s clear to you.

“Eh, it was lousy date anyway. Wouldn’t even consider it a date.” you say, hoping to reassure him a little bit, “The food wasn’t that great. Conversation was boring, and to make it a  _really_  great night, my car broke down.”

He smiles a little and removes a hand from his pocket, reaching out to grab your wrist when he notices you’re still wearing the bracelet he gave you. Your fingers intertwine and he moves in closer, “It wasn’t a date?”

“John,” you sternly warn him, despite the fact that you’re leaning in closer to him. Ignoring you, he leans down inches from your face and you shiver.

“I miss you,” his hand is moving up your neck and he moves your hair off your shoulder, pulling you closer to him, “I don’t know what to do, I can’t stop thinking about you, about us.”

His lips are warm and soft as he kisses you. Against your better judgment, you kiss him back as your hands travel up his chest, resting them on his pecs. The two of you stand there, giving in and you find it hard to back away. He grabs you by the waist as you stand on your tiptoes to get a better angle and he deepens the kiss. He hums as he pushes his tongue pass your lips and into your mouth. His lips leave your mouth and start trailing down your cheek to your neck.

“John,” you’re surprised when his name comes out as a moan, and he wraps his arms around you, holding onto you for dear life. Finally, you break away from him and place your hand firmly on his chest to keep him in place. Your hand reaches up to touch your lips, missing his, “I can’t.”

You start backing away and he steps forward, reaching out for you, “Can we at least talk?”

“Can you tell me what you’re hiding from me?” you start to raise your voice and stop when you realize this isn’t what either of you need right now.

He looks down and shakes his head, putting his hands back in his pockets, “No.”

You sigh and your shoulders droop a little, “Goodnight, Jonathan.”

When you turn around to lock the door, you catch a glimpse of him and he’s still standing on the sidewalk looking at the ground. After getting ready for bed, you notice John’s jacket is still on your bed. You pick it up and bring it to your nose to smell it again. You quietly sob as you pull it on and lay in bed, crying yourself to sleep in his jacket.

__

Thankfully, John’s car is loud and distinct, and you hear him as he heads off every morning doing God knows what. Carefully checking if the coast is clear before running to the mailbox or to your car, you’ve managed to avoid him the last few days. It’s a little past 10 on Saturday and as you head downstairs, you see April and Tess running around frantically. The counter tops are covered with food and beverages, and you look around as they run past you.

“What…is happening?” you ask and try to remember if you’ve forgotten a birthday.

Tess stops dead in her tracks when she sees you wearing John’s jacket. She clears her throat and when you catch her staring, you look down, quickly remove his jacket and toss it over the couch.

“We’re having our barbecue. You know, the one we literally planned like a month ago.”

“Right, sorry.” you turn around when there’s a knock on the door and head to answer it, “I got it.”

“Hi, I bought chips!” Jimmy is standing there, grocery bags in both hands. He walks in and places the bags on the counter, then leans over to Tess, pulling her in and kissing her.

You feel a twinge of jealousy and look away, “I, uh, should go get ready then, I guess.”

__

Holding John’s jacket in your arms, you rub your fingers over it and reminisce on your first date. How excited you were and how handsome he looked, and your nose starts to burn a little as you begin crying. From your room, you can hear the house fill with laughter. You lay down on your bed and hug John’s jacket close to your chest, hoping the girls have forgotten about you. From the bottom of the stairs, you hear April calling your name.

_Jinxed it._

You head outside and pick a chair in the back of the yard; away from everyone. You’re scrolling through your phone and look up right as Matt walks through the patio door. Quickly ducking, you sneak in the house to find April.

“Hey! Jimmy brought so many chips.” she laughs and gestures to the bags laying on the counter. She notices your face has lost all color and she looks worried, “What’s wrong?”

She pushes you back and makes you sit down as she grabs a bottle of water. Tess sees the two of you and runs over.

“Which one of you…invited Matt?” you ask as you open your water, taking a drink.

April puts her hands up defensively in front of herself, “Not me.”

“Oh, I know it wasn’t you, I was just being polite.” you raise your eyebrows and look at Tess.

“ _Listen_ ,” she starts to shuffle in place, “He came into the shop the other day and at the time it seemed like a good idea. This was before your awful date. Please don’t be mad.” she holds her breath and grabs your arm.

You roll your eyes and laugh, “I’m not mad.”

You look over at the door as it opens and a man walks in.  _John._

“Oh,” April looks over and points at John, “ _I_ invited him.”

He’s wearing a Henley that clings close to his muscles, and when he turns around to close the door, you check out his ass which looks really good in his jeans. Your mouth is suddenly dry as he walks over, you grab your water taking a big sip.

John walks over holding two bottles of wine and places them gently on the table, “I didn’t know what to bring, so…”

Tess reaches out and hugs John, and taken aback by the gesture, he stumbles a little before hugging her back.

“Thank you, we appreciate it.” Tess takes the bottles and heads back out to the patio, and April comes up with some excuse to leave the room, leaving you and John alone.

John sits on the stool next to you and watches you carefully as you fidget with something on the table. Reaching out to touch your hand, his thumb lightly brushes your knuckles.

“I think maybe we should talk.” you say as you look at John. He sits up straight, his entire core filling with hope. He leans in closer to you, the warmth radiating off his skin and you smile to yourself before it fades, “The other night…”

“Hey, I was looking for you.” Matt walks in and interrupts you.

You fake a smile and you can hear John suppress a laugh, knowing you’re annoyed. “Hi.”

He sits down on the other side of you, and you can feel the tension building between John and Matt. You’re caught in the middle like some teenage romance movie. 

When Matt reaches out to touch your hand, John abruptly leaves, and the house shakes when he slams the door. You hate that it made you a little happy to see John get jealous.

“I had a nice time the other night.” he squeezes your hand, and you force a smile as you pull away to hide your hand in your pocket.

You sigh, “Yeah, I just…I don’t think it’s going to work out. I don’t want to lead you on. I just don’t think I’m ready for this.”

He leans away from you a little and shakes his head, “I get it. He’s clearly still in love with you.”

You start to smile at the thought of John being in love with you. You know he is, but having other people confirm makes you happy. Your smiles fades when you see Matt staring at you. “I’m sorry, I really am.”

Matt gets up and starts walking to the door before turning around, “Me too.”


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warnings:** None.

You squeeze your eyes shut in attempt to block out the lights dancing behind them. The sound of sirens get louder, and you reach over for the pillow next to you to cover your ears. You sit up quickly when you see the red lights flashing around your room and run to the window. Firetrucks and police cars are lined up and down John’s driveway, almost the whole neighborhood is standing in the street.

April bursts through the door and grabs you by the arm, and without saying anything, she drags you outside and over to John’s house. The flames lick the sky and you hear the wood crackle under the heat. The fire seems to be coming from the living room and thankfully, it hasn’t spread any further. You cover your mouth with your hands and begin running up to his driveway, and two strong arms reach out and grab you.

“Stop, miss, you can’t go any further.” the police officer is pushing you away, and you spot Jimmy and call him over. He runs up to you, covered in sweat and you grab his arms to keep yourself from falling over.

“Is he,” you try to catch your breath, “Is he in there?”

He shakes his head and looks down, “We don’t know, but his car is gone. From the looks of it, he isn’t home.”

Your hands begin to shake, tears welling up in your eyes, “What about Bleu?”

You know how much he means to John, and the thought of him losing his dog breaks your heart. He shakes his head and you start to sit down on the grass, staring as the firefighters work on putting out the fire.

__

You’re getting cold from sitting in the wet grass for hours, and you look up to see Jimmy, who looks exhausted as he’s walking over to you. As you stand up, your legs wobble causing you to stumble forward into Jimmy’s arms and he hugs you tight.

“We’ve checked the house. The fire came from the living room.” he starts to smile, “There was no sign of him, he wasn’t home.”

You feel relief and you close your eyes, suddenly realizing how tense and tired you’ve become from waiting for hours.

“I suggest you go home and get some rest.”

__

After the last two stressful weeks, all you wanted to do with sleep through the night again. It’s nearly 8 PM and you start to feel your eyelids growing heavy with sleep. As you lay in bed, you hear a loud crash coming from the living room, and Tess and April burst into your room, jumping on your bed, clinging to each other.

“What the fuck?” you sit up straight.

They’re speaking over each other and out of breath from running.

“Someone…just threw something…through the window.” April manages to choke out.

You hop up from your bed and head to the living room. Glass is scattered across the floor and the window is busted open. On the ground sits a brick with a piece of paper attached to it. April leans down and picks it up as Tess calls Jimmy.

“Baba Yaga? What the hell does that mean?”

You turn around at the sound of her voice, carefully stepping over the glass and take the paper from her, “I don’t know.”

“Jimmy is on his way over right now.” Tess announces as she grabs the broom from the closet, and you tuck the piece of paper away in your pocket for safe keeping.

A few moments later, Jimmy is pulling up in his police cruiser and carefully inspects the window, “I think it’s just some kids messing around. We’ve had a few break-ins this month, and John’s house a few weeks ago.”

“Messing around? They started his house  _on fire_ , he could have been inside!” your voice is shaky and you sit down on the couch.

“Look, we’ll get this boarded up and you all can stay with me if you want.” Jimmy says, and Tess and April take him up on the offer, leaving to pack their bags.

You look at Jimmy and tears fill your eyes, “Where is he? I haven’t seen him since our barbecue, and that was weeks ago. I just need to know he’s okay.”

You’re close to begging when Jimmy sighs. Taking pity on you, Jimmy sits down next to you, “He’s fine, I talked to him the other day. He called…to check up on you.”

You’re relieved and you start to wipe your tears away.

 _“Where is he?”_   you ask, and Jimmy shakes his head and inhales deeply. Your voice cracks and you said like you’re whining, “Please just tell me where he is. I can’t do this anymore, I need to see him.”

He leans in close to you and whispers, “I shouldn’t even be telling you this.” After a few moments, he leans even closer to you and his breath is hot on your cheek, “He’s in the city. At a hotel.”

“Jimmy, there are dozens of hotels in the city!” you’re getting annoyed at how secretive he’s being. You turn around when you hear Tess coming back to the living room, knowing your time is running out. “ _Please_.”

“I don’t know if you’ll even be able to get in…” he says, and you look at him in confusion. “It’s called The Continental.”

He quickly gets up and grabs Tess and April’s bag, leaving you sitting alone in the living room.

You pull out your phone and look up the directions to The Continental. It’s not too far from your house and you head to room and change your clothes. You order a cab, knowing you’re not in the right head space to be driving, then you head into the city.

__

Pulling in front of the hotel, you suddenly feel under dressed even though you’re wearing a skirt, a nice black blouse and your best shoes. The black gates open and you start the long walk down the concierge. People are seated in the foyer, and they look you up and down as you walk past.

“Good evening, miss.” The man behind the desk is tall and thin, and he’s smiling at you, “How may I be of assistance?”

“Hi, um…” you’re nervous and you start to play with the sleeve of your jacket. You look around, hoping John is somewhere in the lobby, “I’m looking for someone.”

The man shifts a little and brings his hands up to his keyboard, getting ready to type. “Can I have the name please?”

“Wick,” you swallow and your hands begin to shake, “John Wick.”

The man stops typing. He doesn’t move, he just looks over his glasses at you. He carefully looks over your face and start to shrink under his gaze.

“John Wick, you say?” his voice is calm.

You nod nervously and place your hands on the desk. The granite is cold under your hands, and you realize how sweaty your palms are. He reaches over for the phone and waits a few seconds before speaking.

“Mr. Wick, you have a guest. Shall I send them up?” he nods and hangs the phone back up.

“Room 818.” He gestures to the elevator behind you and you head up to John’s room.

The elevator ride is shorter than you hoped and suddenly, you’re standing in front of his door working up the courage to knock. You reach and knock three times, and you find yourself hoping he won’t answer.

_Just breathe._

Light spills into his room as the door slowly opens, his hair is hanging in his face and he’s leaning against the door for support. You push the door open and rush into his arms.

“Jonathan!” you wrap your arms tight around his waist and press your face into his chest.

He’s not sure if you’re really here and he grabs your face, frantically moving your hair out of your face to look at you.

“What are you doing here?” he closes the door behind you and locks it.

You walk over and turn on the lamp on the side table and notice how extravagant his hotel room. The bed is large and soft, it looks tempting, and you try to resist the urge to lay down and wrap yourself in the blanket.

“Jesus, John.” To your horror, his face is covered in tiny cuts and he has a bandage wrapped around his left leg just above his knee. It was nothing serious, just a few bruises and scrapes, but it still hurts to see him like this, “What happened?”

You grab him by the arm and pull him to sit next to you on the bed. You lightly touch his face, and his cheeks are warm and his eyes are heavy with sleep. When your hand moves past his mouth, he presses a kiss to it. His beard is a little unkempt, clearly not in the mood to trim it these past few weeks. You grab a few hairs, tugging them a little.

“Not shaving, I see.” you say, jokingly. You lightly pat his cheek and place your hands in your lap.

“Haven’t had the motivation.” he shrugs as he brushes your hair out of your face and takes a long, hard look at you.

His eyes linger on your lips for a moment and his lips part a little, giving you a glimpse of his tongue moving in his mouth. He wraps his arm around your back and pulls you closer to rest your head on his shoulder.

He reaches down and takes your hand in his, and you finally notice he’s only in his boxers, so you scoot a little closer to feel his skin against yours.

“Jonathan, please.”

“Everything?” he looks at you, his eyes are full of fear and his heart starts to pound.

 _“Everything.”_ you nod your head and squeeze his hand tight as he takes a big breath and begins.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warnings:** Smut

“I’m so sorry,” you wipe away a tear on your cheek with the back of your hand and look up at John, “About…everything. You lost it all and kept fighting, been to hell and back. I can’t even begin to imagine everything you’ve gone through.” you look down at your hands, clasped tight together. “I just…I really admire you, I want you to know that. You’re an incredible man.”

“I’m not.” he shakes his head and rests his elbows on his knees.

“Yes, you are.” you start to laugh a little when you know he’s going to keep disagreeing with you.

When you look at him, he seems like a weight has been lifted off his shoulders, and you see him relax a little when your gazes meet and you offer him a small smile. You reach up to rub his cheek with your thumb and he closes his eyes. His shoulder tense up again and he lets out a big sigh.

“I never should have lied to you,” he rests his head in his hands, and you reach out trying to pull this mountain of a man into your arms. “I wanted to tell you eventually, I didn’t want you to find out the way you did.”

He sighs and looks at you as you reach out to wipe away a tear from his face. He exhales and gets up from his bed, limping over to pour himself a drink.

“Figured you could use one.” he lets out a weak laugh.

You find yourself laughing and nodding, “Yeah, I could.”

You scrunch your face up as you take a sip and it burns, but you finish it quickly and place the glass back on the table. John looks at you with his eyes wide in amazement and starts to pour another. You knock it back faster the second time and feel it as it warms your stomach.

“So, you’re not in the Russian Mob?” you chuckle.

He lets out a loud laugh and shakes his head, “Definitely not.”

“How long have you been in all this?” you ask, curiosity growing.

He licks his lips and finishes his drink, “A long time.”

You walk to the window and look down, growing dizzy from the height, or maybe it’s the alcohol. You feel John behind you and he wraps his arms around your waist. He turns you around in his arms and he tucks your hair behind your ear.

“I was just trying to protect you.” he kisses your forehead and hugs you tight to his chest, “I didn’t mean for this to happen. I knew once you found out about my job, about everything…you’d leave me. I didn’t want to risk it.”

You pull back, offended, “John, I didn’t break up with you because of your _job_.”

He frowns and tilts his head a little, “What?”

You move out his arms to sit on the edge his bed, “I broke up with you because you lied to me for weeks, remember? Book binding…”

“I do bind books. For fun.” he starts to smirk.

“John,” you roll your eyes at him, “Had you just been honest from the get-go, I would have been fine with it.”

He kneels in front of you and winces when he rests his left knee on the ground. “You’re fine with me killing people?”

His gaze is intense but you can see he’s worried about how you’ll respond. You start to laugh a little and cover your mouth at how inappropriate it was.

“Well, when you say it like  _that._..”

“Exactly.” he looks down at your exposed thighs and licks his lips.

You grab his face and make him look at you, “They’re not innocent, John. They’re not good people. But you...” you lean down, inches from his face, “You’re a good person. I’ll tell you that every day until you believe me.”

As fast as his legs allow him, he gets up and crawls on top of you as his tongue makes its way into your mouth. With this kiss, he gives you everything. All of him. He’s pouring his soul into you. It’s almost as if you have feel the love radiating off his lips, it’s powerful and it brings tears to your eyes.

He starts unbuttoning your blouse as your hands grope at his back and you feel him relax under your touch. You pull his shirt over his head and see the new cuts littering his chest as you gasp. You kiss each and every one in hopes that they’ll magically heal. He flinches at the weight he’s putting on his leg and you pull back.

“It’s okay.” he says, leaning back down to kiss you.

You push him over so he’s on his back and scramble up from his bed, ripping off your bra and skirt, then toss your shoes to the floor. He pulls you back to the bed and you tug off his boxers. Climbing on top of him and straddling him, his hands grasp your hips tight as he slides you down his cock. You close your eyes and let out a breathy moan as he fills you up inch by glorious inch. You begin grinding down on him as he bucks his hips impatiently.

“I’ve missed you so much.” he says, and when you open your eyes, he’s staring at you. “I’m sorry.” he begins apologizing and he rolls on top of you. His hands are on both sides of your face, thumbs rubbing your cheeks, “I hurt you, I’ll never forgive myself for that.”

“John, I forgive you.” you crash your lips to his so hard it starts to hurt, “It’s okay to forgive yourself.”

He kisses down your neck lightly to your chest and takes your nipple in his mouth, sucking and biting teasingly. Your hands are in his hair and you pull him back up to kiss you. Slowly, he begins to roll his hips. His hands are cupping your cheeks and his mouth is inches from yours.

He kisses the corner of your mouth and smirks as he makes his descent. His hands wrap around your thighs and he pulls you down the bed further and opens your legs wider, he takes a long look and licks his lips.

You place your hands on his head and grab fistfuls of hair, tugging lightly. His beard is longer and it tickles your thighs, and you start to laugh until he starts sucking and pressing kisses all over your inner thighs. He lifts your legs over his shoulders and buries his face. 

As his tongue glides over your entrance, you bite down hard on your lip. His nose bumps against your clit and you let out a loud moan. He moves lower, flattening his tongue to lick you better.

“Fuck, like that.” you choke out.

He slowly inserts two fingers and curls them, watching in awe as you arch your back, grabbing at the sheets and he buries his face again. You’re tipping over the edge and you pull his face away from you to stop yourself from coming too soon. He looks up at you in confusion, licks his lips and wipes off his beard.

His voice is deep and raspy when he speaks, “What do you want? Tell me what you want.”

“I want you.” you grab his arms and pull him back on top of you.

He slides in quickly, and you both moan at the sudden rush of warmth. He begins to go faster and you move your hips with his. Grunts leave his mouth as he pounds into you and you let out a string of moans as the bed starts to creak under the weight of your combined thrusts.

Tears fall from your eyes as you become overwhelmed with love and John slows down, leaning in close and wraps his arms around you, lifting you up from the bed a little. He kisses away your tears and kisses your lips.

“I love you.” he’s breathless and he bucks his hips hard, “I love you so much.”

“I love you–-” your nails dig into his back with every thrust, and you know he’s coming to an end as he begins fucking you harder, almost knocking the wind out of you. “I love you too, John.”  

He quickly pulls out, lays on top of you and kisses you.

You pull back and look at him, “John…are you okay?”

“I don’t want to come yet.” he presses his lips against your forehead, “I don’t want this to end.”

You cup his face and kiss him hard, then let out a small laugh, “It doesn’t have to end.”

He rolls over onto his back and pulls you onto him. A smile spreads across his face as he brings his thumb into his mouth, knowing what you want. Rubbing circles on your clit with his thumb as you grind down on him, you throw your head back in pleasure and he moans loudly as the sight of you.

You hold tight to the headboard as his hands find their way to your waist and move to your ass, grasping tightly as he moves you up and down his cock. He watches your breasts bounce and leans up to take your nipple in his mouth, sucking hard.

You reach down to grab his shoulders, pulling him to your mouth, “I love you so fucking much.”

Your lips clash with his before he can respond, and you grind down hard on him. Your legs start to tremble and you clench around him as you come, your walls tightening and shaking.

John grabs your ass to keep you on him and he bucks his hips under you and moans loudly, “I love…you.”

As the words come out, you feel a warmth pool inside of you and you smile pressing kisses to his neck. His hands are on your face, holding your gaze. He kisses your nose, then brings his lips to yours for a tender kiss as he removes himself from you and lays you back down on the bed. Your bodies are covered in a thin layer of sweat and when you kiss him, he taste likes you.

The two of you lay there memorizing each other’s faces, and his thumb rubs your bottom lip and you bring it in between your teeth, sucking on it and slide it back out pressing a kiss to it. He leans closer to you and gives you a slow kiss as his hand travels up your back and into your hair, and you have to lean away to catch your breath. You press kisses to his chest as he pulls you in closer and lets out a content sigh. Goosebumps form on his arm as you run your finger over the tattoo on his bicep.

“I really do love you. You know that, right?” he says, and when you don’t reply right away, he grabs your chin and holds your gaze. It’s intense but soft. “I love you.”

He begins kissing you all over your face, your arms, and your stomach. With every kiss, he says it again and again until you start laughing. He rests his head on your stomach and rubs circles on your legs.

“I love you, too.” you stroke his hair and he starts to fall asleep.

After awhile, you get up and put on John’s shirt. You feel his arms wrap around your waist and he pulls you back down to him, pressing kisses you all over your face and you begin to giggle. The two of you laugh and hug each other until you sit up, realizing how thirsty you’ve become.

John props himself up with his pillow and rests his arms behind his head, confidence is oozing out of him, “We can go down to the lounge. You probably haven’t eaten for a while.”

On cue, your stomach grumbles and you press your hand to it and smile sheepishly.

You hop up from the bed and raise an eyebrow at him, “I’m gonna shower first. Wanna join me?”

He gets up and stumbles to the bathroom, following you and wrapping his arms around your waist as you both laugh.

__

Drying your hair quickly with the blow dryer, you close your eyes as the warm air blows on your face. When you open them, you find John standing in the doorway. He’s in a three piece suit, his beard has been trimmed and his hair is slicked back out of his face.

“You are so fucking sexy.” you’re still stunned at how handsome he is and he looks down as his cheeks turn pink. “You’re the most gorgeous man I’ve ever seen.”

You watch as he squirms, always uncomfortable when you compliment him. His eyes dart up to yours quickly before he looks back down at the floor. “Thanks.”

He walks in and sits against the sink in front of you. You tilt your head and lean into him, kissing him quickly on his nose, “Ready?”

He nods his head and his eyes travel down to your hands as he intertwines his fingers with yours.

“Yeah.” his voice is quiet and you can tell he’s thinking about something.

“Baby, what’s wrong?” you cup his cheeks and bring his face up so your gazes meet, “No more lies.”

He shakes his head and stands up straight, towering over you. You strain your neck trying to keep eye contact with him. Being away from him all these weeks, you’ve almost forgotten how tall and solid he is.

You shrug and back out of the bathroom, “Okay then.”

You walk out smirking, knowing he’s gonna tell you what’s bothering him.

“It’s just…” he watches carefully as you sit down and put your shoes back on, “You’re not like…dating that guy, are you? Because this wouldn’t be appropriate.”

You start laughing and shake your head, “Jonathan!”

He puts his hands in his pockets and looks down at the floor, “I just want you to be happy and if it’s with him, then that’s what I want for you…”

“You are so cute.” you stand up and watch him with a smile on your face.

He ignores you and keeps talking, “He’s probably an okay guy. I don’t like him, but if you do, then I’ll be happy for you. It hurts to think of you with someone else, but I would never stop you.”

You start walking towards him and he’s still talking nonsense when you press a firm, burning kiss to his lips. The force of it pushes him into the wall and his hands move from your hips to your back and into your hair. You grab his head, pulling him in to deepen the kiss. His hands slide down to your thighs and he lifts you up, wrapping your legs around his waist. He turns around and pins you against the wall.

“All I want is you, John.” you feel him as he smiles against your lips and kisses you slowly. “I only went out with him because April told me to stop moping.”

“I guess I’ll need to have a talk with April.” his lips are still pressed against yours and he kisses you again. He kisses your forehead and gently puts you back down so you can fix your skirt. “I’m sorry I hurt you.”

“I know, I know you are.” you look up at him and wrap yourself in his arms, “I love you.”

“I love you more.” He kisses your cheek and heads for the door, holding your hand.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warnings:** NSFW

Holding on to John’s arm tight, you head to the lounge. You look around at all the people staring at John as you walk past, and they back out of his way, or completely change course when they see him; avoiding him at all costs.

To think that all these people are assassins scares you, until you realize you’re clinging to the most feared one of all. As you sit down and order your food, the man from the front desk walks over to your table.

“How is he?” John sits up and shakes his hand.

“He is good, sir.” he clasps his hands in front of him, and John reaches into his pocket and looks at you before removing a gold coin. “Thank you, sir.”

He looks over, nodding at you as you smile.

“Who is ‘he’?” you shift a little in your chair.

“Charon, the concierge. He’s a good guy.” he grabs his drink and takes a big sip.

You shake your head and raise your eyebrows, “No, I mean who were you talking about?”

John looks at you like you’re clueless and starts laughing, “Bleu.”

“Oh,” you feel a little silly and start laughing, “I was wondering where he was.”

A man walks past the table, quickly shaking John’s hand before walking away. John looks at you as you bring your hand to your mouth and start playing with your bottom lip nervously. You watch the man closely as he leaves the lounge and heads up the stairs.

“I wish I could read your mind right now.” he starts to laugh.

“Why?” you lean closer, and John reaches across the table to hold your hand.

“Just want to know what you’re thinking.” he replies softly and gently squeezes your hand.

“Oh.” you look down at the candle as it flickers.

“Are you scared?”

You take a big breath and open your mouth to answer when you the food arrives; stopping you from answering. The waitress hands John a piece of paper, and he looks it over and furrows his brow, stuffing it into his pocket as he sighs.

“After we eat, I need to go somewhere.” he says as he cut into his steak.

“Okay…well I can just go back to your room and wait.” you try to hide your disappointment and fail.

John notices and reaches out to hold your hand across the table, smiling sweetly, “You can come with me.” he gets up quickly and leans over to kiss you before sitting back down. “You’re safe here.”

Pretending to be brave, you puff up your chest a little, “I’m not worried about myself.” Your chest immediately deflates and you look down.

John gets up and turns your chair so you’re facing him and tries his best to kneel in front of you, “ _I’m_ safe here.”

When you look up at him, his eyes are solely focused on you as a group of people walk into the lounge. You nod your head and lean forward, kissing him.

__

Holding tight onto John’s left hand, you head down the narrow steps and walk past the laundry, through the boiler room, and you reach a black door. Still holding his hand, you wrap your left arm around his bicep and scoot closer to him. He leans down quickly and kisses the top of your head, then reaches into his pocket, pulling out a coin. He carefully slides it into the slot and the window opens fast, then slams shut as the door slowly opens revealing a bar.

John squeezes your hand as you walk past the bar and the club band. He turns around to check to make sure you’re okay and you smile at him. He heads for a table tucked away in the corner, and an older man sits there surrounded by books and papers. When he looks up, he smiles and he removes his glasses, setting them on the table.

“Jonathan.” his voice is gravely and deep.

“Winston.” he nods and looks over to you, “This is–-”

“Yes, I know. It’s a pleasure to meet you. Jonathan, she’s more beautiful than you described.” he reaches out and takes your hand quickly kissing the back of it, making you blush.

John sits down in the booth and you scoot in next him, turning your attention to the band when John and Winston start whispering. John’s hand slides up your thigh under the table and you close your eyes. Your body is covered in chills as his hand slides in between your thighs.

“Why don’t you go get us something to drink?” he says, then he pecks you gently.

Quickly, you realize they need to talk business and you nod, getting up from the table and making your way to the bar.

Sitting at the bar, an attractive brunette covered in tattoos walks over and asks what you want. You turn around and look back at John who is deep in conversation with Winston.

“Um...” you say, and she catches you looking and laughs.

“Jonathan. He’s a gorgeous man, isn’t he?” she grabs a rag and starts wiping down the counter, and you bite your lip and try to hide a laugh. “I asked him out not too long ago.”

You turn to her and lean in, letting her know you’re interested.

“Asked if he wanted to go out sometime, but he said no. He turned me down in the politest way.” she tries not to look hurt and you don’t know why, but you want to reach out and hug her. She’s a beautiful woman and surely John could see that too.

She drums her hands on the counter and breaks your focus, “What ya want?”

You look at her and shake your head, confused, “I’m not sure what to order, but...” you turn around to look at John as he makes his way over, eyes fixed on you, “Bourbon.”

“Hello, Jonathan.” she smirks and leans over the counter, grabbing the back of his neck and pressing a kiss to his cheek.

“Hey, Addy.” he quickly kisses her back. He leans close to you and kisses your ear causing goosebumps to form on your arms, “Did you get something to drink?”

“No, I…” you feel flustered when you catch Addy staring and look down in your lap.

A man walks up and starts talking to John when Addy leans over the counter and begins apologizing, “Oh, my gosh, I am so sorry. I didn’t know you two were together.”

You shake your head and put your hands up, “No, I’m sorry. I didn’t want to seem rude, or like a jealous girlfriend. Seriously, don’t apologize.”

John puts his arm around you and asks if you’re ready to head back to your room for the night, and you sense a bit of arousal in his voice. He stops by the front desk and you see Bleu making his way over to you. You lean down and pet him while he tries to lick your face.

In the elevator, you look over at John as he tilts his head back to rest on the wall and closes his eyes. You turn to him and lean against the wall, “Why did you never go out with Addy?”

He looks over at you as a smile tugs at his lips, “How did you know about that?”

You squint your eyes at him and he starts to laugh. The doors open and you head down the hall to your room. Slipping into one of John’s shirts, you crawl in bed next to him. He lays on his back and pulls you into his side, intertwining his fingers with yours.

“To answer your question,” he quickly presses a kiss to your hand, “I said no, because I want a normal life. I want to be able to come home and sit on my porch. Toss around a ball with Bleu. I can’t have those things if I’m with someone...” he stops talking and you look up at him as he tries to find the right words. “Someone who is involved with this part of my life. I want _normalcy_.”

A smile tugs at his lips and you look at him confused. His smiles grows and it causes you to laugh.

“What?” you ask as you sit up.

“Actually, I had just met you when she asked me out.” he sits up and grabs your waist, moving you to straddle him. He leans back against the headboard, pulling you into a bear hug, “I didn’t even know if I would ever see you again. That’s why I put that letter in your mailbox.”

“Ah, yes, that letter.” you smirk.

His eyes are soft and warm, and you listen as he opens his chest to reveal his heart, “It had been a long time since I felt happy. I was getting used to being sad and alone. You brought me back. When I met you, I knew I wanted to spend my life with you. I  _really_ knew about three hours ago when you found out about all this and didn’t storm out.” he lets out a small laugh and his face gets serious again. “This isn’t gonna be easy, you know? Being with me is dangerous, but this is my job.” he looks at you with a burning intensity and you open your mouth to talk, but he just kisses you, “I love you.”

“I love you, and I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t think it was worth it. I would never ask you to leave this behind. This is a big part of who you are, and I will love you no matter what. You’re a good man, Jonathan.”

You feel a little scared when you realize how in love with him you are. He’s everything you’ve ever wanted – as cheesy as it sounds. Your heart sinks when you realize you could lose him at any moment. He hugs you tight as his hands slide up the back of your shirt, they’re warm and calloused. He pulls back to kiss you quickly and rests his head on your shoulder.

“I have something for you.” you whisper.

He pulls away and looks at you as you get up and walk over to your bag. Getting back on the bed, you sit next to John and hand him the piece of paper.

“I didn’t have time to tell you earlier, but someone threw a brick through the window and this was attached.”

“Someone threw a brick through your window and you didn’t tell me?” he looks offended and takes the paper from your hands.

“I was more concerned about you when I got here.”

He unfolds the paper and narrows his eyes as he read the words. The room is so quiet you can almost hear his heart as it starts to pound.

“John, is this you?” you point at the words on the paper and he leans back against the headboard. “Are you Baba Yaga?”

John carefully folds the paper up and puts it on the side table. He takes a deep breath and rubs his face with his hands – visibly stressed.

“Let’s not worry about that right now.” he fluffs his pillow and pats the spot next to him, beckoning you to lay down.

You roll your eyes at him and climb back on top of him. Your hands are pressed firmly on his chest and you push him down onto the bed. His eyes follow your hands as they run over his pecs and down to the large scar leading to the waistband of his boxers. You lean down and begin kissing the trail your fingers have left. He lets out a small moan when you lick down his stomach to the scar.

“What are you doing?” he leans up from his pillow and his voice is deep, drenched with arousal.

“You’re stressed out,” your voice is low as you kiss his chest and tummy with every word, “And I wanna make you feel better,” you look up at him as he’s watching you, “Don’t you want to feel better?”

His mouth is open and his hands are clenched into fists at his sides. You kiss over his clothed erection that’s growing and he bucks his hips slightly. Barely able to tear his eyes away from you, you reach up and push him back down.

You rip off his boxers and toss them to the floor. He reaches down to you and tugs at your shirt, you grab his hands and shake your head.

“No, baby.” you whisper. His eyes roll shut as you wrap your fingers around his cock and begin stroking him. “You’re the most amazing man I’ve ever known, you know that?”

You bite your lip when he looks at you and watch him grow harder in your hand. He lets out a groan and you watch as his mouth opens, tongue running over his lips. You lick over the tip of his cock, watching as a bead of precum slips out. You take him into your mouth, allowing him to go as deep as he wants.

His hand comes down into your hair as he pushes you up and down slowly, creating a rhythm. He props himself up on his elbow and steals a long look at you as you move up and down on his cock. His breath becomes heavy, and little moans slip out of his mouth as he watches. He grabs a fistful of your hair and pulls himself from your mouth and you frown.

“You didn’t like that?” you ask as you wipe your mouth with the back of your hand.

He grabs you by the shoulders and pulls you on top of him. Your lips meet for a steamy and messy kiss. When he doesn’t answer, you pull back from him, checking to see if he’s okay. He nods his head and opens his mouth to talk but as you grind against him, he’s left speechless. You feel your underwear growing wet as his cock rubs against you, teasing you. His hands move down your back, lifting your shirt up slightly and tugging at the waistband of your underwear.

You move off him and kneel at the end of the bed. He reaches out to grab you, but you move too quickly and he whimpers. You slowly lift up your shirt, stopping half way up your stomach and he watches intently, growing sad when you pull it back down. You peel it off and throw it at him, and he catches it, then tosses it to the floor.

“You know what you’re doing to me?” he mumbles, his voice is gruff and it sends shivers down your spine.

You get a mischievous smile and your hand reaches up to caress your breast. You slide your other hand into the waistband of your underwear and begin stroking yourself. His eyes grow wide and a smile spreads across his face, and you watch as his hand slowly makes its way to his cock, and he wraps his fingers tight around himself.

You tilt your head back and close your eyes as you moan. The bed starts to shake a little and you squint your eyes open to look at John, who is stroking his cock as he watches you. The two of you watch each other until it’s too much to handle and he’s desperate for you. You crawl to him with hunger in your eyes, and he wraps his arms around you, laying you on your back. He rips off your underwear and slides in instantly.

His lips meet yours and he bites down gently on your bottom lip. His thrusts are deep and erratic. His index finger traces your bottom lip and he slides it into your mouth. You suck on it, running your tongue over it and watch as he shuts his eyes, letting out a deep moan. He starts rolling his hips and hits your hidden spot causing you to moan loudly.

“Sorry.” you smile sheepishly and hide your face with your hand.

“Be as loud as you want.” he moves your hand away from your face as he pulls out and slides back in hard.

You gasp and your lips meet for a passionate kiss. His hands grasp your thighs tight as he fucks you hard and lets out a loud moan. His hand runs up your stomach and grabs your breast, gently squeezing it in his hand.

“I love your tits.” he mumbles as he buries his face in your chest.

“Harder…” you say, and with every thrust, you’re getting closer and closer to the edge, “Deeper, John, please!”

John lifts up your leg and hits your hidden spot once more, causing you to cry out and moan loudly, bringing on an orgasm. He watches you as you tremble under him and he picks up the pace. You bite down on the back of your hand to keep yourself from screaming, and he moves your hand and leans down, kissing you as he thrust deeper. His thrusts become frantic and with one last thrust, he twitches and collapses on top of you as he lets out a throaty moan.

He’s breathless and you rest your forehead against his, "You're beautiful."

His hair is damp with sweat and you push it out of his face as he peppers you with kisses and rolls off of you. The two of you lay there in silence as you catch your breath.

You get up and open a bottle of water taking a big sip before passing it to John, who finishes it off. You get back into bed and John covers you up with the blanket and cuddles you, holding you tight to his side.

“You’re the love of my life...” his lips are still pressed against yours and he kisses you once more.

At the sound of his words, you feel your eyes filling with tears and you snuggle in closer to him. The sound of his breathing lulls you to sleep, and you cling to each other as you both drift off.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warnings:** NSFW

John’s fingers are lightly rubbing your bare back, and you open your eyes to see him watching you with a smile on his face. He leans down and kisses your forehead, “I ordered us some breakfast, should be here soon.”

You drift back to sleep as John continues to rub your back.

When a knock on the door wakes you up, you quickly head into the bathroom as John answers the door and the food is set out on the table. Pulling on your skirt and blouse, you head out to the table. 

The room service attendant smiles and greets you as you sit down at the table. John pulls his shirt over his head and hands a gold coin to the young man as he leaves the room.

John claps and rubs his hands together as he looks at the food, ready to devour it. He places your food in front of you, pressing a kiss to the top of your head before sitting down across the table from you.

Grabbing your phone from your bag, you check to see if you have any missed calls.  _4 missed calls and 7 text messages_. You press your hand to your forehead and place your phone on the table, turning your attention back to the plate of food.

“What’s wrong?” John looks at you, worry on his face, “Is everything okay?”

You shake your head to calm him, “Everything’s fine. I was in such a hurry to get here last night, I didn’t bother to tell anyone where I went.”

“I was wondering...” John takes a big sip of his coffee and wipes off his mouth with his napkin, “When you go home, can you take Bleu?”

“You trying to get rid of me?” you say jokingly and raise an eyebrow.

“No! No, I’m not. I want you to stay, but…” his voice trails off and he starts playing with his food.

“Work. I get it, John.” you get up and move to sit in his lap, “Let’s make a deal…”

He looks up at you and a smile tugs the corners of his mouth, “Okay.”

“I won’t ask about your jobs. When and if you want to tell me about them, I’m ready. But…”

“But?” his hand moves up your thighs to the bottom of your skirt and he starts to slide his fingers under it.

“Don’t hide anything from me anymore, please.”

His head droops a little and he plays with the edge of your skirt, “I’m sorry.”

“John, stop apologizing. It’s fine. It’s not something you can just  _tell_  someone. I should be the one apologizing.”

At the sound of your words, he looks up fast and shakes his head, “Don’t. I hid this from you. And when I did tell you, you took it with such grace.”

You pretend to flick your hair off your shoulder and puff up your chest, which makes John laugh.

“I thought you would walk out of here and never talk to me again, I thought you’d think I was a monster.”

You take his face in your hands, and lean in close to him, “You’re the best man I’ve ever known. I love you more than anything. Everything we’ve gone through and will go through…it’s all worth it to me.”

“This can’t be easy for you, to find out all this stuff.” he says, and you shrug as he pulls you closer.

“I mean, no, of course you don’t expect your boyfriend to be an assassin. _The_  assassin. Baba Yaga…” you look down at him, his gaze meets yours and a smirk spreads across your face. “It’s hot.”

He tucks an arm under your legs and lifts you up to carry you back to the bed. He gently tosses you down and pulls his shirt over his head and crawls toward you. His lips curl into a devious smile and he begins kissing up your legs.

“John!”

His beard tickles against your thighs and you burst out laughing, hearing you laugh brings a smile to his face and he starts to laugh.

“You think it’s hot?” he starts to unzip your skirt and tugs it down your legs, throwing it to the floor while you remove your shirt and bra.

He sucks on his fingers and widens your legs, gently rubbing to prepare you for him. He licks his lips as he watches you close your eyes and buck your hips. He lifts you up from the bed and bends you over the table. You bite your lip in anticipation as he grips your hips tight. As the tip of his cock enters you, a soft moan escapes from your mouth. He pulls away quickly, teasing you.

“Say it again for me, baby.” he murmurs, and you can hear he’s smiling when he talks and you smile knowing he’s enjoying this.

“It’s hot.”

He grabs your chair and you put your foot on it, giving him a better angle. With one hard thrust, he’s inside you and he sets the pace. Holding tight to your waist as he thrust into you, the room fills with sounds of skin slapping skin and moans.

“Fuck.” he moans, and his fingers are digging into your hips as he fucks you hard.

John grabs your shoulders, pulling you into his chest and presses kisses to your back and neck. His arms wrap around you and his hand cups your breast, squeezing and pinching your nipple. His other hand travels down your stomach to your clit, where he rubs circles.

“Do you like that?” he whispers. You’re speechless and out of breath, so all you can do is bite your lip and nod your head. He alternates between fast and slow thrusts and gently pushes you back down on the table. He lets out a low groan and buries his hand in your hair, pulling it, “Fuck, you feel so good around my cock.”

He leans over you and kisses down your back and grabs your ass, squeezing it in his hand. The table starts to shake from his thrusts and you let out a loud moan. His thrusts are hard and powerful causing a glass to fall to the ground. He pulls you back to the bed and sits down, turning you around in his arms so you’re facing him.

He lays down, and you start to straddle his hips when he grabs your thighs and scoots you up to sit on his face, “I’m hungry.”

“Oh.”

His hands are on your ass and he starts to guide you as you buck your hips and rub your pussy against his face. Moans escape your mouth, and you hear him moan as he licks over your clit. You start moving your hips in a circular motion and he grabs your ass to keep you on his face.

“You taste delicious.”

You tighten your thighs around his face when you feel yourself getting close to the end. You start to scoot down when he grabs your thighs, stopping you. You look down at him and he starts to smile.

“I’m not done with you yet.” his voice is muffled and raspy, and he presses a kiss to your clit.

He spreads your legs further to get deeper and dives back in. You smirk and reach around to stroke him. His hand slides up your waist to your breast and he grabs a handful. His breath is hot against you, and he sucks your clit causing you to buck your hips wildly.

You begin stroking him faster, moans falling from his mouth and you lean down, your voice only a whisper, “Come with me, baby.”

Your body shudders, and you feel him twitch and he gasps as he comes in your hand. You roll off his face and fall back on the bed. He gets up to grab a napkin to clean off your hand, and when he turns around, he sees you licking your fingers clean. He tosses it back on the table and lays down next to you, a smiling growing on his face as he watches you.

“Fuck, Jonathan.” you start to laugh and reach over for your clothes before he stops you and hugs you tight to his chest. He starts to laugh and kisses your nose.

“I don’t have to leave for a while, my flight leaves tonight.” he rests his head on your stomach and rubs his calloused hands up and down your thighs, sending shivers up your spine. “Will you stay with me until then?”

When he looks up at you, he looks like he needs this; like he _needs_ you to stay with him. You sit up and crash your lips to his. It’s messy, passionate, and full of love.

“How long will you be gone?”

“This one could take awhile.” his eyes are sad and he intertwines his fingers with yours.

“How long?” you ask again.

“Two weeks, tops.” his hand cups your cheek and look you deep in your eyes, “It’ll go fast, I promise.”

John sits up straight when there’s a knock at the door. He pulls on his boxers quickly and answers the door while you wrap yourself in the sheets. John’s voice is quiet, but you can tell he’s talking to Charon, who had come up while you were sleeping and taken Bleu out for a walk by John’s request.

“Hi, baby!” Bleu jumps on the bed and licks your face. His tail is hitting John on the back as he sits on the edge of the bed. Soon, Bleu tires himself out and jumps down to lay on the fluffy pet bed on the floor.

You’ve seen John shirtless before, but you’ve never gotten a good look at his back, more specifically his tattoos. Still naked, you crawl over and wrap yourself around him, you lock your arms together around his waist.

Your eyes trail over his back and you lick your lips, taking in the sight of his tattoos. You press kisses over the words and you don’t know any other languages, but you assume it’s Latin. You hear John let out a small gasp when your tongue glides across the wolf on his right shoulder.

“You sat long enough to get tattoos?” your lips are still pressed against his back, and your fingers trail up his shoulders and you begin massaging him, “That’s hard to imagine.”

John starts to laugh a little and looks over his shoulder at you as you keep kissing his back, “I was young.”

“Well, I like them. They’re sexy.” you wrap your arms around his shoulders and press your chest against his back. You begin kissing his neck and he closes his eyes, letting out a breath.

“Have you seen my house?” he moves to lay on the bed and he cuddles into your side, resting his head on your chest, “I know they should be done with it soon. The damage wasn’t that bad.”

“I know they’ve been working on it, but...“ you stroke his hair and he nuzzles in closer, “To be honest, I tried not to look at it.”

“Why?” his lips brush against your chest as he speaks and he quickly kisses the top of your breast.

“Well, for one I was mad at you.” you start to laugh and he looks up at you, frowning. “Two,” you let out a big sigh, “That night…”

John sits up, leans against the headboard and rubs your arm, coaxing it out of you.

“That was one of the worst nights of my life, John. I thought…” your voice breaks as you try to choke back the tears, “I’m gonna worry about you like that every minute that you’re away.”

“I know.” he leans in close and pulls you into his chest. His lips meet yours for a slow kiss, and he kisses away your tears before pulling back. “I’ll call you every night, just to let you know I’m okay.”

You lean against his chest and sigh, sitting in silence before he starts to speak again.

“Maybe we can do that face thing.”

You sit up and look at him confused, “Face thing?”

“Yeah, that thing where we talk on your phones, but with our faces.”

You double over laughing and look up at John, who is smiling wide. “FaceTime, baby. It’s called FaceTime.”

“Oh.” he looks down and his cheeks turn pink.

“You are so cute,” you lean towards him, still laughing and kiss his cheek. He cups your face with his hand and moves your lips to his. “I love you so much.”

You lean back against his chest, and he kisses your temple and sighs. “I have never loved anyone the way I love you.”

You’re silent for a few minutes and he leans down to kiss your shoulder.

“What about Helen?” your voice is brittle, and you almost hope he doesn’t hear you.

He doesn’t answer right away and suddenly, you feel too exposed. You turn away from him, grabbing your skirt off the floor and wiggle back into it. Within seconds, his hands are on your waist and he pulls you towards him. You close your eyes and take deeps breaths to keep yourself from turning into a blubbering mess.

“I could never compare the two of you. I love both of you in different ways. But…I know I’ve never loved anyone the way I love you.” he leans down and kisses your hand.

“John-–” you start to speak, but he cuts you off.

“She made me a good man, a decent man. You’re just making me even better.” he quickly kisses you and shakes his head, “I never even told Helen about all of this, I never planned on it. I didn’t want to hide this from you though. I was planning on telling you when the time was right. You just found out too soon.” he squishes his lips against your cheek. “Sneaky.”

“Well, to be fair, you didn’t do a good job hiding it. You just left it in your basement.” you look over at him and he starts laughing.

He leans forward and maintains eye contact as his hand moves up to your chest and covers your heart. He reaches down with his other hand to yours and places it over his heart, “I love you.”

His mouth is warm and soft as he kisses you. His tongue slips into your mouth gently and starts gliding against yours. Your hand runs up his shoulder and into his hair, grabbing a fistful and pulling him closer. The room spins and you feel as if you’re melting into the mattress beneath you. You scoot down the bed and pull him on top of you.

He pulls back and looks at you, eyes burning holes into you as he moves your hair away from your face. He smirks and claims your lips with his again. This is love, and you can feel it. He  _loves_  you.

He tries his hardest to pry himself away from your lips when your phone rings, “I don’t want to stop kissing you.”

Placing your hands on his cheeks, you press a kiss to his lips before getting up quickly to answer your phone. You listen as Tess chews your ear off for having ignored her calls, and you reassure her that you’re okay and that you’ll be home soon. You throw your phone back on the table and snuggle back into John’s arms, falling asleep as he turns on the TV.

__

The sky is dark and sullen when you open your eyes and stretch. You sit up and see John, who is standing in dark gray dress pants and a white shirt. You get up quickly, getting dressed and grab his button up from the hanger.

“Hi, beautiful.” he leans down, kissing your forehead and turns around as you help him put on his shirt, “Do you still have the key to my house?”

“Yeah, why?”

He turns around to face you and you reach up to button his shirt. “I was thinking, if you wanted, you could stay there. I’m sure that Jimmy will be staying at your place a lot more now after the brick incident.”

You bite your lip to keep yourself from smiling, “Actually, I would love that.”

“Bleu can keep you company. You’ll probably have to go grocery shopping though.” he reaches into his pocket, pulling out his wallet and hands you his credit card.

“John, oh, my God. No, I have money.” you shove his hand into his chest.

“Seriously, take it.” he says, laughing.

“Jonathan. You’re gonna need it while you’re away, I can’t.” you shake your head and back away.

He opens his wallet and you see a wad of cash, “Trust me, I’m fine.”

“Will it make you happy if I take it?” you ask, giving in.

He leans closer to you and taps the card against your nose, “Yes.”

“Fine.” you grab the card from his hands and tuck it in your wallet. “So…how much can I spend before you get mad at me?” you ask, jokingly.

He shrugs as he puts on his suit jacket and starts to laugh. He walks over and kisses the top of your head, “Try to stay under a million.”

“You’re joking, right?” you laugh and he turns around giving you a serious look. “Oh, you’re not joking.”

You sit down on the bed and put your shoes back on as John sits next you, wrapping an arm around your waist.

“I’m going to be okay.” he whispers.

You sigh heavily and lean your head on his shoulder, “I know. Doesn’t stop me from worrying though.”

“I worry about you too.” he presses a soft and tender kiss to your lips. He stands and stretches out his arm for you to take his hand. “We should go.”

You hook Bleu’s leash to his collar and head for the elevator. The cab is parked out front and John opens the door for you, then gives Bleu a kiss on his head.

“You take care of her, okay?” he stands up straight and opens his arms, beckoning you, “Every night. I promise. I  _will_ call you or at least text you when I get in. I love you so much.”

You rub his cheek with your thumb and kiss him once more, “I love you, too.”

You get in the cab and he shuts the door behind you. He presses his hand against the window and you reach up to try to feel the warmth through the glass. Tears prick your eyes as the cab turns the corner and you see John disappear back into the hotel.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warnings:** NSFW

You barely make it in the door before Tess is running down the stairs and pulling you into a hug, “I was so worried about you, please don’t do that again!”

You start to laugh, “Where the hell did you think I went?”

“A brick had  _just_ been thrown through our window, you could have been taken for all I knew.” she grabs your arm and pulls you over to the couch, “Tell me everything. Did you talk? Did you sleep with him?” Tess eyes you as you wince when you sit down. “Oh! That’s a yes. So, you’re obviously back together then?”

“Oh…my god.” you cover your face with your hand as you turn red.

“You’re okay!” April comes rushing from her room and jumps over the couch, landing in between you and Tess. “Did you talk to him?”

“Yeah, I did.”

“And?” she pokes your arm, “Details, come on.”

Your eyes grow wide and you start laughing, “Fine. We talked, he told me everything…” you look over at the girls and they’re just staring at you. “You just want to know if we had sex, don’t you?”

Tess gestures to your legs and laughs, “Oh, I  _know_ you did.”  

You sigh and look down at your hands in your lap, “It’s going to sound really unbelievable. He’s…an assassin. I know it sounds like weird TV show or something. He’s not bad. Don’t be scared of him.” you speak so fast, you almost choke and have to catch your breath.

You watch your friends as they take in the information and are surprised by their reactions. April is smiling and Tess is fanning herself.

“That’s hot, actually.” Tess starts to laugh.

“So, that’s all he was hiding from you?” April asks as she repositions herself on the couch.

“Being an assassin isn’t enough?” Tess snorts.

“He was married.” you get up and grab Bleu’s extra bowls from under the sink and begin filling them with food and water.

“What?” April jumps up from the couch.

“Yup, for like five years, but…” you place Bleu’s bowls on the floor and sigh, "She passed away.”

“Oh, my god, poor John. That’s awful. I feel so bad for him.” April lifts herself up to sit on the counter. “I’m happy he has you now.”

“Me, too. He must really love you if he told you all this.” Tess pats you on the back and laughs.

You bite your lip to stop yourself from smiling, “Yeah, he must.”

The door opens and Jimmy walks in with a bag of clothes, “Hey! You’re back!”

You walk over and hug him, “Thank you for telling me where he was.”

“Is everything good?” he pulls back and looks concerned.

“Everything is great.” you smile and hug him again, “But I’m exhausted, so I’m gonna head to bed.”

Tess looks at you, giving you exaggerated wink. You call Bleu and head up to your room for a shower. When you hop out, you see your phone light up with a text message from John wishing you a goodnight, and you fall asleep that night clinging to your phone, waiting for his next call.

__

Unexpectedly, the next week passes quickly. You’ve taken some of Tess’ shifts so she can spend time with Jimmy, your way of thanking of him for telling you where John was staying.

John hasn’t called much, and you figure it’s only because he likes to keep his head down until he’s done with work. It’s day eight and after getting almost no sleep; you have Tess and Jimmy to thank for that, you finally decide to stay at John’s house.

It’s nearly seven PM and you pull up in front of the grocery store, quickly walk inside and grab a cart. Filling the cart to the top with things you probably don’t need, you head toward the coffee when your cart collides with a man causing him to drop his basket.

“I’m so sorry!” you lean down and help him place his items back in his basket. You freeze in place when your eyes meet, “M-Matt? Hi, I’m so sorry. I wasn’t paying attention.”

He stands up straight and fixes his tie, “Clearly.”

You move behind the cart instinctively to keep the distance, “How have you been?”

“Fine.” his reply is short and he seems upset, “How have you been?”

“Um, good. Yeah, I’ve been good. Just working a lot.” you lean against the cart and he looks down, seeing men’s razors and dog food.

“Back together with John?” he picks up the razors and shakes it in his hand before throwing it back in the cart.

You slowly nod your head, “Yeah.”

“Good! That’s good to hear. I’ll see you around.” he leans forward and quickly kisses your cheek.

When he gets around the corner, you use your sleeve to wipe off your cheek, turning it red from scrubbing so hard, “Ew.”

You finish your shopping, reluctantly paying with John’s card and pack the bags into the back seat of your car.

“Oh, no.” you feel a drop of rain fall on your face and look up, “No, no, no, no. Fuck.”

You look around and an older woman waves you over, asking for your cart. You quickly hand it to her and hop it your car and speed back to John’s house as the rain starts to pour down on your car.

“This is not good.”

Forgetting the groceries, you jump out of the car and run through the house to the back patio of John’s house.

“Nooo.” you look out the window and see Bleu covered in mud as he hops and rolls in the puddles forming in the yard. You put your head and in your hands and begin laughing. When you open the door, Bleu looks up, wags his tail and starts running towards you.

“Bleu, no!” you put your hands out to stop him and he jumps up, planting two large paw prints on your chest. He stretches up licking your face and leaves mud on your cheek. “Why?” you start to whine and scoot him back outside as you close the door.

You look down at the floors and almost have a heart attack at the thought of him trailing mud all over them. You open the door and try your best to collect him in your arms.

“You’re too big, how am I supposed to do this?” you look at Bleu, waiting for him to respond. “God, I wish John was here.”

At the sound of his name, Bleu’s ear perk up and he tilts his head.

“I know you miss him, I do too.” you sigh and lean down to scratch his head. “Okay, here’s what we’re gonna do. I’m giving you a bath.”

You open the door further and get a tight grip on Bleu’s collar and lead him into the bathroom. He reluctantly jumps into the tub and sits.

“Okay, so…stay.” you put your hands out to keep him in place and slowly back out of the bathroom, keeping your eyes on him to make sure he doesn’t jump out.

You open the linen closet and find the dog shampoo tucked away in the back and laugh when you see a shower cap. You head back to the bathroom to see Bleu still sitting in the tub and his tail drums against it when he sees you.

Removing the shower head from it’s holder on the wall, you turn on the water and adjust it so it’s just right and begin spraying down the dog and pour the shampoo on him. You hear your phone ringing from the kitchen and quickly get up to answer it.

_John._

You start laughing when you remember that John has no idea how to FaceTime so he must have asked for help, which warms your heart. You bring your phone back into the bathroom and quickly fix your hair in the mirror and kick yourself for not wearing makeup, but you know John won’t care.

“Hi, baby!” you wave and smile big.

John is sitting at a table and his phone is leaning against something as he eats. He swallows quickly and waves back.

“Hi beautiful!” he leans closer to his phone and points to his cheek, “What’s on your face?”

You turn around to look in the mirror and see mud smeared across your left cheek, “Well someone,” you look over at Bleu who is still in the tub, licking the water coming out of the shower head. “Was outside while it was raining. Hold on.”

You place your phone down on the counter and John listens closely as you talk to Bleu. You grab your phone and swap the camera so it’s on Bleu. He has a shower cap on his head and his squeaky duck toy in his mouth. As soon as John sees him, he starts to laugh.

“Hey, buddy.” John’s voice is light and happy, and Bleu drops the duck and stands up, wagging his tail. “Are you being a good boy?”

Bleu starts to whimper and barks when he sees John.

You flip the camera so it’s back on you and squeeze your eyes shut as Bleu shakes his body, ridding himself of the water.

“He misses his daddy.” a smirk grows on your face and you lick your lips, “I do too.”

John lets out a laugh and shakes his head, “I miss you, too.”

Bleu barks again and jumps out of the tub, running into the living room. “Bleu, no!” you throw your phone down and practically tackle him with a towel and dry him off.

You grab your phone and quickly head to the kitchen. You prop your phone up against the bowl of fruit on the counter and start drying yourself off with a dish towel you find on the counter. “How are you?”

“Good. Almost done. Shouldn’t even take me more than 3 days.” he takes a big bite of his food and leans back in his chair as he chews, “What have you been up to?”

“I went grocery shop–- _shit!_ I left everything in the car. I’m sorry I want to talk, I do! But all the bags are still in the car. I know it’s late there, can you call me tomorrow?” you put your hands over your face and rest your elbows on the counter. You feel yourself melting when you hear him laughing and you peek through your fingers.

“Don’t worry about it, I’ll call you tomorrow and you can tell me all about your week.”

You pout and rest your head on your hands, “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. I’ll call you tomorrow. I love you.” he kisses his hand and waves to you.

“I love you, too. Bye.” you hang up and sigh, seeing him only made you miss him more.

The house falls quiet and you hear the rain hitting the window. Bleu walks over to his bowl and starts whimpering for food which prompts you to get the bags from the car.

After putting everything away, you grab a book from the shelf and lay on the couch with Bleu at your feet and turn on the TV to catch the weather. You scoot down on the couch and wrap yourself in a blanket, your eyes grow heavy from exhaustion and eventually flicker shut.

__

Your alarm comes in the form of Bleu’s barks, and you quickly sit up straight and rub your eyes. You check the time and are surprised you slept almost 9 hours.

“I’m so sorry!” you jump up quickly, and Bleu runs to the front yard to relieve himself.

You head up to John’s room and walk over to his closet, reaching out to grab a white button up off the hanger. You pull it over your clothes and your eyes widen when you get an idea. Quickly, you grab your bag that you packed and pull out the lacy bra and underwear you tucked away in case John came home early.

You strip down and put them on and button up his shirt, stopping right when it gets to your breasts. You walk over to the mirror and quickly apply a thin layer of make-up and play with your hair a little. You position yourself on his bed and grab your phone from the side table. You move the shirt a little to reveal your breast and bra, letting your hand travel under the waistband of your underwear and snap of quick picture. You pull back your bra to reveal your nipple and snap another.

You quickly send them with the caption:  ** _In your bed and missing you._**

You smirk knowing he’ll be thinking about it all day, but your smile fades when you remember how dangerous his job is and you start to worry. You bit your lip and flop down on the bed.

“What did you do?” you check the time and hop into the shower before locking the house and heading to work.

__

It’s your lunch break and you still haven’t heard from John. You sit in the lounge and pull back the plastic wrap of the sandwich you bought at the gas station on the corner.

“Hey.”

You look up and take a bite of your sandwich when Tess walks in, “Hi.”

She sits down next to you and pulls out her lunch box, “What’s up?”

You look down and start playing with your food, “I sent sexy pictures to John.”

Tess’ jaw is on the floor and she’s staring at you.

“Who are you?” she starts to laugh and takes a bite of her food.

“He didn’t respond.” you rest your head in your hands, suddenly not feeling hungry.

Tess starts talking with her mouth full and puts up her finger, “Give me a minute.”

You watch her as she chews her food and swallows quickly.

“What kind of sexy pictures?”

“There’s different kinds?” you run your fingers through your hair quickly and start to pick at your nails; a nervous habit. “I just put on one of his shirts and like…laid on his bed.”

Tess starts laughing and pats your cheek, “You’re so adorable.”

“I mean…I had my hand in my underwear.” your voice is quiet and Tess almost chokes on her water.

“Holy shit! And he didn’t respond?”

“No, I don’t know what to do.” your voice cracks and you almost cry at the thought of him ignoring you. You grab your phone from your bag and are surprised to see you have a new text. “Oh, my god, he replied.”

Tess leans over to look then closes her eyes quickly, “Wait, did he send a picture back?”

You look up at her as she peeks through one eye – trying to get a look. Your hands start to shake and nervousness sets in, “I’m scared to open it. What if he’s mad?”

“You really think John could ever be mad at you?” Tess looks at you like you’re dumb and you laugh a little.

You open the text message and carefully look over the words:  ** _We need to talk tonight._**

You throw your phone back in your bag and tears prick your eyes.

“What?” Tess leans closer.

You take a deep breath and sigh, “He said we need to talk.” you lay your head down on the table and try to get your breathing under control.

“Maybe he needs more time to…” Tess scrunches up her face, trying to find the right words. “kill people?” You sit up and give her a dirty look. “Assassinate. Is that better?”

You shake your head and throw your food into the garbage, “I’m going back to work. I need a distraction.”

__

A distraction is what you needed, but you didn’t find it. You worried all day and when it was closing time, you checked your phone and read his text again. You sigh and type out a response:  ** _I’m on my way home. Call me in a bit._**

You pull into his driveway and sit in your car for a few minutes before forcing yourself to get out. You go through your regular routine of feeding Bleu, getting food for yourself and you head up to John’s room and wait for him to call. You check the clock and sit back against the headboard of bed and sigh.

Growing more and more nervous, you get up and head to the bathroom. You splash cold water on your face and look in the mirror, giving yourself a pep talk.

“He’s not mad. He’s not. Why would he be? You looked good. Hot, even. He’s not mad.” 

You hear your phone ringing and see he wants to FaceTime, and you’re half-tempted to pretend you missed his call.

You answer it and your voice is quiet and you hesitate for a moment, “Hi.”

He’s leaning against his headboard and he’s shirtless. You can see a large bruise across his ribs and you want to reach through the phone and kiss him better. He hasn’t said anything and you start to get nervous.

“Um,” you look away and find it hard to maintain eye contact even through the camera on your phone.

“So, you sent me some pictures.” his voice is gruff and full of sleep.

“John, oh my God. I’m so sorry. I just thought ‘wow I really miss him, I should send him some pictures to let him know that I’ve been thinking about him.’ I’m so sorry. I wasn’t thinking.” you lay down on his bed on your stomach and prop your phone up on the pillow. “I just wanted you to know that I was thinking about you.”

He sits up and positions his phone on the side table, scooting to the edge of his bed in just his boxers. When he shifts a little, you see the street lights from behind him. He hasn’t told you where he is, but with the time difference, you’ve figured he’s somewhere in Europe.

“John…can you say something?” you bite your nail and watch him as he shifts on the bed and removes his boxers. “ _John!_ ”

“I enjoyed those pictures. Been thinking about you all day.” he starts to smirk and you hide your face in the blanket. When you look up, you see him stroking himself and he moans, “In that bra. In my  _shirt._ Look how hard I am for you.”

You feel a wetness growing in your underwear as you watch him, and you feel a sense of satisfaction that you’re miles away, but still have such an affect on him. You sit up and pull your shirt over your head and he scoots closer to his phone. You suck on your fingers and he watches closely as your hand travels into your underwear.

“Take them off.” he demands and you gladly sit back, ripping your underwear off quickly.

You begin stroking yourself and you move closer to your phone so he can get a better look. You ground down on your finger and insert another one as a moan escapes your lips. “Fuck, John. I miss you.”

He groans and tries to keep his eyes open to watch you, “I’ll be home…” he stops talking and lets out another moan when he sees how wet you are. “I’ll be home soon.”

You rub circles over your clit and feel a tightness in your stomach and John begins stroking himself faster. You lean close to your phone and whisper just loud enough for him to hear you.

“I know you’re miles away baby, but I want you to come with me.” you bit your lip, and he smiles as he strokes himself faster.

“Fuck.” his voice is quiet and he closes his eyes.

You stroke yourself and insert your fingers again, letting out a loud moan when you watch John come in his hand. He quickly gets up and you see a light turn on. After a few moments, he grabs his boxers off the floor and pulls them back on. You get under the blankets and John takes you on a virtual tour of his room.

“This is the bathroom, it’s pretty nice. This is the bed, comfy…” he flips the camera to face him and he leans in closer to the phone, “Would be better if you were here though.”

You feel your nose burn as tear fill your eyes and you inhale deeply, trying to get the tears down.

He walks over to the window and opens the door to the balcony, “This is my favorite part.” he turns the phone and you see a large water fountain with statues all lit up with lights, “It’s beautiful, isn’t it?”

You quickly wipe away a tear from your cheek and sniffle, “It is.”

He lays down on his bed and hold his phone up, “I miss you.”

You nod your head and smile as another tear slips out, “I miss you, too.”

“Are you okay?” he sits up, concerned.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” you wipe your tears against the pillow and sigh, “I wish I could be with you right now though. I don’t want to rush you, I just want to be in your arms.”

“I’ll be home before you know it. And I’ll hold you as long as you want.” his voice is soft and velvety. “You should get some sleep now. I love you.” he brings the camera to his lips and presses a kiss to it.

“I love you, too. Bye.” you hang up and throw your phone down on the bed and groan.

You call out to Bleu and hear his nails click against the floor as he makes his way into John’s room. He lays down by your feet and falls asleep quickly. You snuggle closer to John’s pillow and inhale his scent, and you swallow hard to keep the tears from falling down and succeed. Trying your best to fight the sleep, you lose as your eyes grow heavy and you slip into a deep sleep clinging to John’s pillow.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warnings:** None.

Without opening your eyes, you reach around the bed for your phone as it rings, and you squint them open to see it’s April.

“Hello?” your voice is deep from sleep, and you clear your throat as you sit up.

“Hi, you were sleeping…sorry.” as April talks, you hear Tess in the background.

“It’s okay.” you reply as you rub the sleep from your eyes. You hear shuffling and press the phone closer to your ear, “What’s up?”

“We wanna see John’s house.” Tess practically screams into the phone, “Can we come over?”

“Uh,” you get up from the bed and make your way to the bathroom to start the shower. “Sure, come over in like 15 minutes.”

__

You hear April and Tess talking as you walk to the door. You open the door and put your arms up like you’re on a game show, “Welcome to my house.”

“Wow.” April is speechless as she walks and removes her shoes, “You can’t even tell his house was like…literally on fire a few weeks ago.”

“This is amazing. This is way better than any house I’ve ever been in.” Tess makes her way to the living room and plops down on the sofa. April quickly sits next to her and even though it’s not your house, you feel a sense of pride.

“I don’t know what you want for breakfast, but we can make some pancakes if you want.” you say as you back into the kitchen.

“Bacon?” Tess opens the refrigerator and looks around, “Found it.”

April props up her phone and puts on some music as the three of you make breakfast. You bring the food to the table and begin eating, asking April about work and Tess about Jimmy. The door bell rings and April quickly heads to answer it.

“How is my favorite man, Jimmy?”

Tess laughs and gets up to put her plate in the sink, “He’s good.”

“Hey, there was no one at the door, but this was on the ground.” April hands you a manila envelope.

You look it over, then open it, “Weird, it’s addressed to me. I guess John could have sent it to me.” you open it and pull out a large file, “It’s his...criminal record. It has a list of all people he’s…”

You quickly glance up at Tess and April as they work out the rest of the sentence for themselves.

“Who would send this to you?” April reaches over and grabs a page and reads it.

“I don’t know,” you shrug and they’re staring at you, “I know you didn’t tell anyone.”

They both relax and keep looking at the pages.

“I think someone wants me to find out who he is.” you grab the pages from April and Tess, stuffing them back into the folder and tuck it into a drawer, “It doesn’t matter. I already know who he is.”

Your phone rings, breaking your focus and you leave to answer it. You walk back into the kitchen holding your phone and wave, “You know you can just call me, right? We don’t have to FaceTime every day.”

“I want to see your pretty face though.”

Tess and April run over when they hear John’s voice and wave at him, “Hi!”

He smiles wide when he sees your friends, “Hey, are you two taking good care of my girl?”

“We are!” April replies and Tess grabs the phone from your hands.

“John, your house is amazing. Can I move in?” Tess asks, as she hops up on the counter.

“Well, I was hoping the next woman I let move in would be Y/N, but…I’ll get back to you on that if she says no.” he laughs, and you find yourself smiling at the thought of sharing a home with John.

Tess hands the phone back to you and you leave the room for some privacy. Closing the door behind you, you sit down at his desk and curl up his office chair.

“Hey, handsome.”

“Hey,” he runs his hand through his hair and over his beard, “I’m coming home. I got…everything done faster than expected. I should be home by tomorrow evening.”

“I can’t wait! I miss you so much…and so does Bleu.” you hear him whimpering and get up to open the door. He jumps in your lap and you gasp as his nails dig into your leg. John waves at his dog and you can see the love in his eyes when he sees how much Bleu loves you.

“You’ve turned him into a lap dog.” John laughs.

“No, he was like this already. This is definitely your fault.” you quip.

“Okay, maybe you’re right. My flight leaves tonight, but I have a few things to do before then.” The smile on his face grows and he leans closer to the phone, “I can’t wait to see you.”

Bleu jumps down from your lap and you lean forward, “I can’t wait to see you either.” You blow kisses at him and wave until he hangs up.

You head back out to living room and see Tess sitting alone on the couch, “Where’s April?”

“She had to work.” she lays down on the couch and sighs, “Can I tell you something?”

You sit down on the chair across from her and lean in, “Of course.”

“I…” she sits up and looks you deep in your eyes and you start to get worried, “I’m in love with Jimmy.”

“Good.” you get up and sit next to her on the couch and she rests her head against yours. “I really like him, and he’s clearly in love with you.”

“Would you marry John? I know you’ve only been together for a few months, but if he asked you, would you say yes?”

A few moments past before you answer. “I don’t know, I haven’t thought about it.”

Tess sits up and raises an eyebrow at you.

“Okay,  _yes_ , I have thought about him being my husband. I would love to spend the rest of my life with him. And if he asked me tomorrow, I would say yes.” you look down and start playing with the string on your sweater, “I don’t think he’d ever get married again though.”

Tess gets up and walks over to the piano and slides her hands across the keys.

“Why are you asking?”

She ignores your question and takes a book off the shelf and flips through it, “If I asked you to come somewhere with me, would you?”

You laugh and kneel on the couch, “Depends on where.”

“Will you come with me and help me…” she sighs, and you almost rubs your eyes when you see her face turning red, “Pick out lingerie?”

You start to laugh when she covers her face and you hop over the couch to hug her. “Yes, I will help you. Might even pick up something for myself.”

__

Tess pulls up in front of the boutique and links arms with you as you walk in. You become her personal shopping cart as she takes things off the racks and hands them to you.

“Okay, I think that’s enough.” your arms become tired and wobbly under the weight of all the clothing, and Tess turns around and smiles.

The salesgirl leads you and Tess to the dressing room, and you pull up a chair and sit down as Tess quickly gets in the room. She tries on several pieces and opens the door, flaunting in front of you and quickly runs back in to try on more.

“Oh, well, I definitely can’t show you this one.” Tess starts to laugh and she peeks out from behind the door.

“Then it must be good.” you laugh and get up to look at the rack next to the dressing room.

When you see a piece you like, you grab your phone from your purse and take a quick picture of it and send it to John.

Your phone beeps seconds later and you look down, carefully reading the words:  ** _Buy it_** ** _._**

You check for your size and smile gleefully when they have it, and you take it off the rack as Tess exits the dressing room.

“Oh, did you find something?” she takes it from your hands and lays it on the counter. “My present to you and John for introducing me to Jimmy.”

__

Pulling up in front of your house, you say goodbye to Tess and thank her as you head back to John’s house to take Bleu for a walk. Stopping in to quickly grab Bleu, you walk down to the lake behind John’s house and throw the ball for Bleu until your arm gets tired. Sitting down on the grass, Bleu plops down next to you with his head in your lap.

“John will be home soon. I know you miss going for your early morning walks.” you say as Bleu stretches out and rolls over so you can rub his belly. “Let’s send him a video.”

You pull your phone out of your jacket and switch it to selfie mode. You grab Bleu’s paw and make him wave, “Hi daddy! We miss you and can’t wait to see you!”

Bleu jumps at the sound of your voice and starts licking your face which causes you to fall back and laugh hysterically. You send the video to John with a heart and head back to his house.

The day passes slowly and the house grows colder as the sun sets. You rummage through John’s drawers, finding one of his sweaters, then crawl into his bed and wrap the blankets around you.

Checking your phone for any missed messages, you feel your heart sink a little when you see you don’t have any. You shake it off and turn on the TV as Bleu hops on the bed and falls asleep. You set your alarm for 8 AM; knowing you need to clean the house.

The anticipation of seeing John is killing you  _and_ keeping you awake. You try to force yourself to sleep, but you’re so excited. Eventually, the exhaustion gets you and your eyes flicker into darkness.

__

The sound of your alarm startles you and you reach over, quickly turning it off. You squint your eyes open to see Bleu sitting on the floor next to the bed staring at you.

“Hi, buddy.” you stretch and sit up as Bleu wags his tail. “John is coming home tonight!”

You practically jump out of bed and head to the bathroom for a quick shower.

You tidy up John’s house and let Bleu out in the backyard while you quickly mop the floors – having noticed a few muddy paw prints. You turn on your favorite 80s playlist and begin dancing as you wash the dishes. When your favorite song comes on, you turn it a little louder, singing and moving your hips. You wipe off the table and look out the window to check on Bleu, who is chewing on his favorite toy and bathing in the sun.

Moving back to the sink with your eyes closed as you sing and dance, you don’t notice John standing in the doorway watching you. When the song fades out, you jump when he starts clapping. “Impressive.”

You turn around and run to him, jumping in his arms and wrapping your legs around his waist. He walks over and carefully sets you on the counter. Leaning close to his lips, you linger for a minute before his mouth envelopes yours. His hands move up your waist to your back and he pulls you in for a bear hug.

“I missed you so much.”

When you lean back to kiss him again, you notice the cuts on the bridge of his nose and his cheekbone.

“The people who did this,” you run your fingertip over the cuts, “Are they still…with us?” your eyes flicker over his face, checking for more cuts and you meet his gaze as he starts to smirk. “I didn’t think so.”

His mouth engulfs yours, confidence oozing from every pore and his hands slide up your chest, squeezing your breasts in both hands.

“You’re getting kind of cocky, aren’t you?”

You wrap your legs around his waist, pulling him closer. His kiss is messy and his tongue pushes past your lips and into your mouth, causing you to hum. You start to remove his jacket and he grabs your hands, stopping you and you start to whine.

“John.” you pout.

He smiles and presses his lips against your neck, moving your shirt down as he starts to kiss your shoulder. You hear it rip a little as he stretches it to reveal your plump, round breast. He licks over it and gently bites it before sucking it hard enough to leave a little mark behind.

Bleu barks, causing John to pull away from you, and you turn around to see him standing at the door, whining to be let in. John pecks you once more before walking over and opening the door. You hop down from the counter and fix your shirt and watch as John hugs his dog. You walk over and lean down against John’s back, and he wraps his arms around your legs, hiking you up a little to give you a piggyback ride. You cling tighter to him as he stands up straight.

“I always forget how big you are. Wait!” you hop down from his back and stand in front of him, “I didn’t mean it like  _that._ ”

“I think you did.” he smirks as he leans down to kiss you. He puts his hands on your shoulders and backs you out of the kitchen to the living room. “What have you been up to?” he asks as he sits down and Bleu jumps between the two of you, licking John’s face.

“Well, you saw the mess I had to deal with the other day. This one is a handful.” you reach over to pet Bleu and John points to the pet bed on the floor. Bleu quickly walks over and lays down.

John laughs as he removes his suit jacket and leans back, putting his arm on the back of the couch, “Anything else exciting?”

You tap your finger to chin and pretend to think hard, “No, I don’t think so.” you scoot next to him and rest your head on his shoulder. “How was…uh, work?”

He starts to laugh and kisses your temple, “It was fine.” his fingers lightly brush your shoulder and he pulls you closer, “How are the girls?”  

“Fine.” you know he wants to ask about the picture you sent him the day before and you look up at him as his cheek start to turn pink, “I went shopping with Tess.”

“Did you buy it?” he licks his lips and looks down at your hand on his knee as it slides up his leg. You stop halfway up his thigh and squeeze it before placing your hand back in your lap. “Did you?” he asks again, getting impatient. You turn to face him on the couch and stare at him before leaning in to kiss him. When you pull away, he squints his eyes at you and laughs. “You’re not going to answer me, are you?”

You bite your lip and shake your head, “Nope.”

You quickly hop up from the couch and put your hands out to help John up.

“What are we doing?” he looks confused as you run into the kitchen to grab your phone. You plug it into the stereo and put on some slow music, “Oh.”

He pulls you close, grabbing your waist with one hand and taking your hand in the other. His hand is on your lower back and you feel the warmth soaking into your shirt. You rest your head on his chest and listen to his heartbeat. He leans down and kisses the top of your head as his hand slide down to your ass. You lean back and give him a disapproving look and he laughs.

Leaning in close to you, his breath is hot and he smells like coffee, “I love you.”

Your eyes rolls shut as he kisses you with soft lips. He caresses your cheek and moves your hair off your shoulder, his hand lightly wraps around your upper back and he dips you causing you both to laugh.

“I wasn’t expecting that.” you kiss his cheek and he pulls you back up as the next song starts playing.

You start hopping around John and singing the words to him as he watches you, laughing. You bump your hip against his and grab his hands, trying to get him to dance with you. Slowly but surely, he starts to bounce a little. You bounce around him and he watches as your hair falls around your shoulders. You spin into his arms, leaning your back against his chest, and you wrap his arms around you and continue to dance your way to the couch.

“Come on, John. I know you can dance!” you put your hands above your head and shimmy your hips.

He walks over and you twist your fingers with his as you hop on the couch. He lets go and grabs your hips, lifting you up to wrap your legs around his waist and he sits back on the couch. Grinding against him, you feel him growing harder in his pants. You loosen his tie and take it off to wrap it around your neck.

“Looks good.” you say as you place your hands on your hips.

“Would look better if you were naked.” he tilts his head slightly and smirks.

He grabs the tie and slowly pulls you back in. Your lips start to tingle from his beard rubbing against your face and you run your fingers through his hair, tugging lightly. He gets up from the couch, keeping a tight grip on your ass as he makes his way up the stairs and into his room.

He turns around, laying down on his bed so you can straddle him. You reach one hand up to move your hair out of your face and start unbuttoning his shirt. When you pull it open, you see the large bruise covering his ribs, and you press warm kisses to it as he lets out a moan. You pull him up by his shoulders and slide his shirt off.

“I’ll be right back.” you lean close to his ear and whisper.  

You open the cupboard under the sink and grab out the bag from the boutique, hiding it away from John until the right time. Feeling a lot more confident this time around, you quickly slip on the bra, your breasts are nice and round, and you can’t help but stare at them for a minute in the mirror. The thong is black lace with a little red bow in the middle and you know hope John will like it. You step into the black heels you left in the bathroom earlier and say a quick prayer that you don’t fall flat on your face.

You peek out from behind the door and ask John to grab your phone. He gets up quickly and you hear him stomp down the stairs, and you smile when you hear his feet moments later as he’s running back up the stairs to the bedroom.

You apply a layer of dark red lipstick and pucker your lips in the mirror, “Damn, I look good.”

You come out of the bathroom and find John closing the curtains as the sun sets. His back is turned to you and he doesn’t see as you lean against the wall seductively.

“John…”

“Yeah?” he replies, still fixing the curtains.

“Turn around, baby.”

As he turns, his mouth falls open and words seemed to have left him as he tries to talk. He shakes his head as he tries the find the words and laughs.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warnings:** NSFW

You turn and lean against the wall, sticking your ass out a little, “Aren’t you going to say something?”

“I am  _completely_ speechless.” he stares at you and your eyes lock on each other for a moment, and you start to smirk.

John starts walking towards you slowly, his eyes are scanning you up and down as you shift a little against the wall again. You run your tongue over your top lip teasingly and smirk when you see the bulge in his pants growing.

He looks around and grabs the TV remote from the bed, tossing it to the floor with a smile on his face. You start walking to him and turn around, bending over seductively to pick it up and feel his hands on your ass as he presses his hips against you. Shaking your hips a little, you hear him let out a low moan. You stand up straight and spin in his arms. Placing your hands on his chest, you push him backwards.

“You look amazing.” he leans forward to kiss you and you move away from his lips. He huffs and grabs your hips tighter to pull you closer. Using all your strength, you push him back and he lands in the chair in front of the window.

You reach over to your phone on the side table to put on some music and place it back down. Kneeling down in front of him, you remove his shoes and unbuckle his pants, sliding them down and throwing them onto the floor. You stand back up and his eyes are locked on yours as you lean down and kiss him. His hand is on the back of your knee, pressing hard to get you to straddle him, instead you turn around and sit in his lap.

He gasps and leans forward to kiss your shoulder as you start moving your hips and grind down on him. He lets out a moan and his fingers press harder into your hips. You grind against his cock to the beat of the music, and he wraps his arms around your waist.

Looking over your shoulder, you see his eyes are closed and his head is tilted back against the chair. He bites his lip to keep himself from moaning, but as you move your hips in a circular motion, his mouth falls open.

“Fuck.”

“Do you like this?” you ask as you continue to grind against him and you hear him try to reply, letting out a sound that’s a mix of a moan and a laugh. As you move to get off of him, he wraps his arms around your waist and pulls you into his chest.

“Don’t stop.” he whispers into your ear, sending shivers up and down your spine. You turn around and kneel in front of him and tug at his boxers, silently begging for him take them off. He stands up a little, pushing his boxers down and steps out of them. He slaps his thighs as he sits back down, “Come here.”

Kissing up his thighs, you hover just above his cock and feel him pull your hair out of the way to watch. You catch him watching and smirk as you turn around, sitting back in his lap instead. He slides your underwear to the side and reaches around to rub over your clit. As he presses kisses to your back, you feel his tongue graze your skin and he moves higher to bite your shoulder.

“You’re so wet for me.” he says in awe. His lips are still pressed against your back and you let out a moan. He leans back in the chair and pulls you onto his chest, his breath is hot against your ear. “Remember what you called me in that video you sent me?” he reaches down and rubs circles on your clit and you close your legs, keeping his hand there. You shake your head and smile. “I  _know_  you remember.”

You look over your shoulder and watch his eyes roll shut as you grind against him again. You get up and move to the bed to lay down, running your over your breasts and into your underwear as you open your legs. John watches for a moment, then walks over to you only to be met with the heel of your shoe digging into his chest, stopping him. He smirks and grabs your ankle, then he quickly pulls your shoe off and throws it to the floor.

He leans down on top of you and grabs your other foot, tossing your shoe to the side. He moves to kiss you and his tongue glides across your bottom lip. Reaching around your back, he unhooks your bra and watches your nipples harden from the rush of cold air. In one swift movement, he removes your underwear and scoots you up the bed with one arm.

“You remember,” he kisses down your neck to your breasts, “I know you do.”

He lays on his back and you crawl on top of him, closing your eyes and biting your lip as you slide down and stretch around his cock.

“Nope.” you lean down and quickly kiss his cheek, leaving a lipstick stain behind.

He starts to smirk and reaches up, grabbing the back of your neck and pulling you back to his lips. As you roll your hips, his breath hitches and you both moan loudly. You sit back up and put your hands on his chest as you roll your hips slowly. He looks at you in awe and smiles when your eyes meet.

“Did you miss me?”

He nods his head and bites his lip as he reaches up to grab your breast, “Yes.”

Your nails dig into his chest, leaving red marks to accompany his bruises. When you notice the bruise on his ribs again, you lean down and run your tongue over it and up to his nipple, keeping eye contact the whole time. He lets out a loud moan and squeezes his eyes shut.

“Did you miss  _fucking_ me?”

He opens his eyes wide when he hears you and for a moment, you almost regret saying it. He lets out a low growl as his hands move to your waist, guiding you. Widening your legs, you allow him to move in deeper and he bucks his hips as you move faster.

“Fuck me,” you lean down close to his face and he holds your gaze, “Daddy.”

He lets out a moan when he hears the words slip out of your mouth. He smiles and kisses you before rolling on top of you. He slides his hands up your body and grabs your wrists, pinning them above your head as he thrusts fast and hard. The mattress bounces and the headboard bangs against the wall.

“Again.” he’s breathless and he tilts his head back, “Please baby, again. Please.”

“Do you deserve it?” you ask and he quickly leans down to kiss you, slipping your tongues into each other mouths as you moan.

“Please.” he’s begging and you love it.

He sits up to kneel on the bed and pulls you into a bear hug and you wrap your legs around his waist. Pressing kisses to his neck and chest, he lets out a breathy moan as he bucks his hips.

“Mmm,” you hum as he lays you back down on the bed, “Fuck me harder, daddy.”

He lets out a laugh and his thrusts become urgent, trying to bring on your orgasm. You feel it rising in your core and let out a loud moan. He’s breathing hard against your chest and he tries to watch you, but his eyes roll shut from pleasure. You grab his face and kiss him hard as you both come together, moaning loudly into each other’s mouths. He collapses on top of you and presses a kiss to your chest.

As you both try to catch your breath for a few minutes, he finally leans up and kisses your cheek, and you relax under him even though he’s still erect inside you. “A daddy kink, huh?”

“You started it.” you laugh and shake your head.

“Not true.” he reaches up to move your hair out of your face and kisses your forehead, “You said it to me the first day we FaceTimed.”

“Okay, so maybe I just wanted to see your reaction." you cover your face with your hand and start to blush, “I love you.”

He pulls back and stares at you for a few seconds before leaning down to kiss you, “I love you more.”

He lays his head on your chest and you feel him growing softer inside of you as he falls asleep. You tap his shoulder and he looks at you, “Shower or bath?”

“Bath.” he kisses your cheek and gets up to fill the tub.

He comes back out and carries you into the bathroom and gently places you in the tub, then crawls in behind you, causing some water to spill onto the floor. Holding in laughter, you watch as he tries to position his long legs around you.

“I think…we need a bigger tub.” he laughs as he bends his knees, “There, I think I got it.”

You start to laugh and lean back against his chest. The room is quiet besides the faucet dripping water every now and then, and he sighs.

“This is perfect.” he takes the pony tail holder off your arm and ties your hair out of your face.

You grab some bubbles and put them on his arm, and he quickly wipes it on your face, making you laugh. You tilt your head back, pressing kisses to his jawline. When you notice the lipstick stain, you reach up to wipe it off but he moves his face out of your reach. “No, I like it.”

“Fine.” you laugh as you wiggle closer to him and he wraps his arms around you.

Soon, the water starts to turn cold and you shiver. You hear John as his breathing slows down and when you look up, you see his eyes are closed and he’s fallen asleep. You reach forward, trying to be as quiet as possible and pull the plug, letting the water out of the tub.

You quickly hop out and grab your robe, putting it on as you watch the water drain from around John, revealing how massive he is and you suppress a laugh seeing how silly he looks in the tiny tub.

_Maybe he’s right, we do need a bigger tub._

You grab the first towel you can find in the linen closet and carefully start to dry John off.

“How the hell am I supposed to do this?” you whisper to yourself when you try to lift his arm. John’s eyes flutter open and he sits up fast. “No, no. You’re fine. I was just gonna try to carry you.”

He lets out a small laugh and takes the towel from you, getting out of the tub and wrapping it around his waist.

“You were gonna carry me?” he laughs and grabs your bicep, squeezing it in his hand.

“No, I said I was gonna _try_.” you point out.

He picks you up in his arms with ease and smirks, “How about I carry you instead?” 

You smile and press kisses to his neck as he carries you back to bed. He puts you down on the bed and carefully unties your robe, sliding it off your shoulders. You lean forward and quickly kiss his tummy before he walks away.

You pull the sheets back as he walks to his side of the bed and tosses the towel over the chair. The two of you meet in the middle of the bed, and he pulls you into his chest and grabs your leg to sling it over his waist.

“So, tell me,” he stops talking to let out a loud yawn, “What have you been up to?”

You pat his chest and kiss his cheek, “Honey, go to sleep.”

He shakes his head and tries to fight another yawn, “I want to hear about what you did while I was gone.”

“Well, I went shopping with Tess…” you lower your voice to a whisper and look up at him as he widens his eyes to keep himself awake,“I gave Bleu a bath…” you check on him again, “I went grocery shopping.”

A small snore escapes his lips and you smile to yourself. You reach up to kiss his forehead and push his hair away from his face. His eyes dance behind his eyelids and you place a small kiss on his nose. Stretching as best as you can, you turn off the lamp and caress his cheek.

“Goodnight, baby.” 

__

As soon as you open your eyes the next morning, John is walking in the room with a tray of food. You stretch and reach over for the shirt that he’s left folded on his pillow. He places the tray at your feet and you reach out for him.

“Come here,” you wrap your arms around his shoulders and squish your lips to his, “Mmm, I love you.”

“I made you some breakfast,” he grabs the tray and moves it closer, “Bacon and pancakes. I made sure to put a little cup of chocolate chips on the side.” He smiles big – proud of his work.

You move his hair out of his face, tucking it behind his ear, “How did I get so lucky?”

He stretches out next to you, placing his arms behind his head to prop himself up a bit, “I’m sorry I fell asleep last night. I’m fully awake now, I’m all ears.”

“You were tired. I’ll take that as a compliment.” you wink as you lean over to kiss him, and he steals a chocolate chip from your plate.

“So, tell me.”

“I didn’t do anything really. I worked, went shopping with Tess, gave Bleu a bath, and went to the grocery store which reminds me, I still have your card.  _Yes_ , I payed for the groceries with it.” you start to ramble as he watches you closely, “I totally could have paid for it with my money – I was planning on it, but I bumped into Matt and wanted to get the hell out of there.”

You take a bite of your food and look over at John as he starts to fidget with his watch. “Did he say anything to you?”

“Not really,” you stab a piece of pancake and feed John, “He just asked how I was and if we were back together.”

“What did you say?” he asks, still fidgeting with his watch, avoiding your eyes.

You move the tray and pull him on top of you, rubbing your thumb against his beard. “I said we were, and then I punched him in the face.” you say as you imitate a punch.

He pulls back and widens his eyes, “You did not.”

“I didn’t, but I wanted to.”

He starts to laugh and kisses both of your cheeks before moving off of you. Feeling full already, you stand up and get dressed, trailing behind John to the kitchen. John quickly washes the dishes and opens a drawer for a hand towel.

“What’s this?” he pulls out the manila envelope and your eyes grow wide. He opens the file and quickly closes it, “Did you take this from the hotel?”

“No,” you hop up from the chair and walk over to him, “I was never alone, how would I have?”

“Then where did you get it?”

You move closer to John and reach out to him, “I-–”

“Where did you get it?” his voice is calm, despite looking like he’s ready to flip the table across the room. “Did you not believe me when I told you everything?”

“Would you let me finish?” you snap, and he blinks a few times. “The other day, I was here with April and Tess. Someone just. _..left_  it on the front step.”

The two of you stand there staring at each other when the doorbell rings, and you jump.

“We’ll talk about this later.” John says as he backs out of the kitchen to answer the door.

You rub your eyes in attempt to stop tears from forming and take a few breaths. From the kitchen, you hear John opening the door and greeting Jimmy. You quickly check your reflection in the oven door and walk in to the living room.

Turning the corner, you see Jimmy standing and talking to John. When he sees you, he walks over and quickly hugs you, “Hey.”

“Hi, is everything okay?” you start to worry about Tess when you see his hands shaking.

“Oh yeah, everything’s fine.” he smiles reassuringly and rubs your back.

John sits on the couch and gestures to the chair for Jimmy to sit down. You watch the two for a moment before you slowly start to back out of the room.

“I’m gonna head upstairs.” you turn to leave when Jimmy stops you.

“No, I actually came to talk to you.” he wrings his hands and runs his fingers through his hair.

You move to sit on the couch, keeping your distance from John, who immediately notices and scoots closer to you, taking your hand in his as he tries to read your face. 

“What’s up?”

“Oh, God. I’m nervous…uh, I know it’s early, but...” Jimmy takes a deep breath and looks down at his hands. “I’m in love with Tess.” he takes a big breath and looks up at you with tears in his eyes and you nod, encouraging him to keep going. “And I want to spend the rest of my life with her. Do I…”

“Have my blessing?” you jump up and hug Jimmy tight, kissing his cheek, “Of course!”

John gets up and shake Jimmy’s hand, congratulating him.

“I have a ring picked out already, I’m heading to buy it and I’m gonna do it tonight.” he leans in to hug you again and starts to walk to the door with John, still talking about his big plans for tonight.

John finds you in the kitchen sitting at the table and grabs the file off the counter as he walks over to you. Sighing as he sits down, you can feel his eyes on you as you look out the window and ignore him.

After a few minutes, you turn to look at him with tears in your eyes, “I’m not lying to you.”

“Come here.” he scoots his chair back and taps his knee. You get up and sit in his lap as he wipes the tears off your face. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have jumped to that conclusion.”

Even though he’s apologizing, you can’t stop crying and he pulls you in, kissing you. Using the sleeve of your sweater, you rub your eyes to rid yourself of the tears.

“I just worry that you still think I’m some…monster, and that I’m still lying to you.”

“John, I love you no matter what,” you grab the file and hold it up before tossing it back on the table, “I don’t care about this stuff. I never did. When you told me everything, leaving you never even crossed my mind. I could never think of you as a monster.”

He leans in and kisses you, taking your breath away. The sound of metal scrapping the floors pulls him away from your lips and he looks down to see Bleu dragging his leash in.

“I think he wants to go for his walk now, dad.” you laugh and wipe the last few tears from your eyes as you get up to hook the leash to Bleu’s collar.

As you walk out to grab your coat from the closet, you hear John talking to Bleu as he walks into the living room. “Go get her. Go get your momma.”

Bleu comes around the corner with his tail wagging and his tongue hanging out of his mouth.

“Momma?” you raise an eyebrow at John.

“Well, you kind of are. I mean, you take care him when I’m gone and he loves you.” John looks shy and you lean in to hug him, inhaling his cologne.

“I love you.” you voice is muffled against his chest and you hope he hears you.

He leans down kissing the top of your head and sighs, “I love you, too.”


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warnings:** None.

Half empty take out containers are scattered on the kitchen counter, and John leans back in his chair, rubbing his stomach, “That was amazing.”

You quickly get up, take yours plates and put them in the sink to wash as John stretches his long legs out and rotates his ankles before getting up to help you. As you scrub away the food on the plate, you hear a knock at the door. John looks at you as he stuffs more food in his mouth.

“Were you expecting someone?” he says, speaking with his mouth full.

You turn around and laugh, “No, were you?”

He chews fast and swallows, shaking his head, “No.”

The door bell rings repeatedly, and John wipes his hands on a towel and walks to the door. As he gets closer, he turns around and calls out to you, “It’s for you.”

When he opens the door, Tess jumps in his arms and squeals. You come around the corner and she holds up her left hand.

“I’m getting married!” she runs towards you and you wrap your arms around each other, jumping up and down, causing Bleu to jump and bark. You look over Tess’ shoulder and see John give Jimmy a quick hug.

“Tell me everything.” you pull her to sit on the couch.

“Okay, well,” she takes a deep breath, “It was amazing. We went to the restaurant where we first met. The same table and everything. The song that we had our first dance to came on and everyone moved off the dance floor so it was just us. He got down on one knee and did it. It was so intimate and sweet.” she’s out of breath as she leans back on the couch and covers her face, “It was perfect. He was so nervous.”

“Let me see it.” you reach out for her hand, looking over her ring. When you look up, you catch John staring and give him a quick smile. “Oh, Jimmy. You did a good job.”

The ring was perfect: big, but not gaudy. The band is twisted with a intricate design and a large diamond sits in the middle with two smaller diamonds on the side. Just what Tess would want. Jimmy walks over and sits next to Tess, pecking her quickly.

“I think I know the answer, but...” Tess grabs your hand and smiles, “Will you be my maid of honor? Of course, April will be too. Yes, it is acceptable to have two maid of honors, I looked it up.”

You lean forward and hug her, accepting her offer and wiping a tear away from your face, “I’m so happy for you.”

“You.” Tess points at John as he sits down in the chair, “Will you be Jimmy’s best man?”

You start laughing and John’s cheeks turn a shade of pink. He smiles, “Of course, I’d be honored.”

Tess jumps up from the couch and grabs Jimmy’s hand, “We’re out of here. I need to go buy wedding magazines.”

You look at Jimmy and raise your eyebrows, “Are you sure you can handle her?”

“Positive.” he nods at you.

You say your goodbyes, and John walks them to the door as you head back to the kitchen to finish the dishes. You turn around for a towel and find John standing there.

“I’m happy for them, I just hope Jimmy knows what he’s getting himself into.” you laugh and lean back against the counter.

“Yeah,” he starts grabbing the food containers and throws them in the garbage, “He’ll enjoy it. Married life is great.” he looks up at you when he realizes what he’s said and you hold your breath. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.” your voice is quiet and weak.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-–” he drops the container in his hand and starts walking towards you.

“John, it’s okay. You were married. It’s not a secret…well, not anymore.” you start to put the dishes away when you feel him behind you.

He moves your hair from your shoulder and leans down to kiss your neck. “I love you.”

You turn around and push him away a little, “You don’t have to do that.”

He tilts his head a little and instinctively reaches out for you, “Do what? Tell you that I love you?” he leans down inches from your lips and lingers, “I do.”

“Enough?”

He pulls back and gives you a quizzical look, “Enough?”

“Never mind. I’m gonna head home, I have to work in morning.” you try to move, but he pins you to the counter.

“What do you mean?” he cups your cheeks and makes you look at him.

You sigh and look back down at the ground, “Do you love me enough to marry me?”

“I--” he drops his arms to his sides and backs away.

“I didn’t think so.” you lean forward to give him a quick kiss on his cheek and head for the door. As you pull on your coat, you turn around to see him leaning against the wall watching you. “I’ll call you.”

__

April jumps when you open door and drop your bag on the floor. When she sees you’re crying, she hops up and hugs you, pulling you to the couch, “What happened?”

“I don’t know, I’m just…being dumb.” you start to laugh a little, despite the fact that tears are staining your cheeks.

You notice a wine glass and pour yourself a generous amount and take a big sip. You finish your glass, pour yourself another and feel your tongue tingle from the taste. She waits a few minutes before she asks again.

“I asked him if he loved me enough to marry me and he doesn’t.” you wipe your eyes and sniffle.

“Did he say that? He didn’t say  _that_.” she shakes her head and folds her arms across her chest.

“No,” you sigh, “He didn’t say anything.”

“Oh,” she takes a few moments to find the right words, “That doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you though.”

“I know, but do I really want to _date_  him for the rest of my life?”

“It’s better than not having him at all.” she points out as you nod.

You finish off your glass and head up to your room. It smells stale and cold, and it’s pale in comparison to John’s house, which always smells like coffee and vanilla. You check your phone before you lay down and feel your stomach do a flip when you see you have no messages. You close your eyes and try your best to sleep, knowing John is across the street doing the same thing.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warnings:** Nsfw

The shop is having a 50% off sale and it’s incredibly busy, so you call Tess in for back up. You’re in the back during your lunch break, which is an hour later then scheduled when she arrives.

“It’s not busy at the moment, but it’ll pick back up. Everyone will realize the coupon is only good for today and we’ll get a rush of people. Happens every time.”

She laughs and sits down next you, “It’s okay, I don’t mind. I wasn’t doing anything anyway.”

You look at her and know she’s lying, “You were, but thanks for coming.”

“Yeah, well, we decided to have a little shindig this weekend for our friends. A few of my cousins are coming. Oh, and some of Jimmy’s family. They’re in the city for some Broadway show or something.”

You try to look happy, but you're a little annoyed that the house will be crowded and know you can’t get out of it, being her maid of honor and all, “Sounds good.”

“What’s wrong?”

You look up at her quickly and shrug, “Nothing.”

She scoots closer and rests her head in her hand, “I’m your sister, I know you.”

You rolls your eyes and huff, “Just stuff with John.”

“What did you do this time?”

“Me?” you ask, and Tess shakes her head as she stares at you. “Yeah, you’re right. It was me. I overreacted about something and I’m kicking myself for it now.”

She drums her hands on the table and stands, “Well, I think John is a catch. He loves you a lot and I don’t think you should let him go.”

“But…” you try to talk but she cuts you off.

“Listen, he’s so in love with you. It’s like… _gross_.” she scrunches up her face and laughs, “You know he’s in love with you, right?”

You start to smile to yourself and shrug, “Yeah, I guess.”

Tess peeks around the corner when the bell above the door jingles and watches an elder couple walk in. She pulls you up by the shoulders and scoots you out the door.

__

Your feet are going numb from standing all day and you walk faster to your car, wanting nothing more than to sit down. Reaching for the door, you notice your front tire is flat.

“What the hell?” you turn around and see the back tire is flat as well, “Are you kidding me?”

You quickly check the other tires and let out a sigh of relief when you see they’re fine. You lean over the hood of your car and take a minute to calm yourself down, rubbing your temples.

Sighing, you reach into your bag and pull out your phone to call John, who answers on the second ring.

“Hey. I hate to bother you–-”

“You’re not bothering me.” he says, cutting you off.

You start to smile a little at the sound of his voice and clear your throat, “Can you come pick me up? April is at work and Tess already left.”

As you speak, you can hear him closing the door behind him and getting in his car, “I’ll be right there.”

You know you could have easily called Tess or even a cab, but deep down, a part of you wanted John to be the one to pick you up.

Exactly six minutes later, John is pulling up in front of the shop. He quickly gets out of the car and walks to your side, “Hi.”

“Hey,” you look up at him and try to keep yourself from falling into his arms, “Thanks for coming.”

“It’s nothing.” he brushes it off and leans against your car.

You point to the back tire, “Flat tire. Tires, actually.” you move and point at the front tire.

“You’re not having good luck with this car, are you?” he laughs, bending down to look at the tire and pulls out his phone, “I’ll call someone to come tow it.”

__

Standing in silence with John, you watch as the sun starts to set and it shines on his face, turning his eyes a warm chocolate brown. You find yourself staring and he looks down at you, giving you a shy smile and stuffs his hands into the pockets of his jeans. You pull your arms around your chest to keep yourself warm and scoot closer to John just as the tow truck pulls around the corner.

A short, dark haired man hops out of the truck, and you watch as he lights a cigarette, taking a long drag before reaching out to shake John’s hand.

“Hey, Aurelio.” John shakes hands with the man and turns to you, “This is Y/N, my girlfriend.”

“This is your girlfriend? I’m finally meeting her? Holy shit!” he flicks the cigarette to the ground and reaches out to hug you, “I’ve heard a lot about you.”

You look over at John and watch him squirm a little as he starts to blush. “Hopefully, it’s all good stuff.”

Aurelio moves and leans to look at the tires, turning back to John. “We have a lot of… _business_  right now, but I can get this done in a few days.”

You smile to yourself when you realize Aurelio is trying to hide John’s job from you, and it warms your heart to know he has someone looking out for him. John nods to him, then grabs your bag from the top of the car and hands it to you.

“It was nice meeting you, Aurelio.” you say as you sling your bag over your shoulder and John opens the door, helping you in.

“Yeah, you too. You take good care of him, alright?” he says as he points to John.

__

The car ride home is quiet, the tension is hanging in the air and from the corner of your eye, you can see John looking at you at every stop light. He grips the steering wheel tight to keep himself from reaching out and touching your thigh. Pulling down the street, John stops and is torn between your driveway and his, but when you slide your hand up his thigh, he quickly pulls into his driveway.

“Are you hungry? I can make dinner for you.” John asks as he follows you into the kitchen.

“No, I can make something.” you grab the jelly from the fridge and peanut butter to make yourself a sandwich.

You plop down next to John on the couch and he carefully watches you. Offering him a bite of your sandwich, you start to giggle when peanut butter gets stuck in his beard. He watches closely as you wipe it off and open your mouth to suck it off your thumb.

“How was work?” he asks and looks down at his hands in his lap.

“It was alright. Busy.” you shrug and offer him the last of your sandwich. You scoot a little closer to rest your head on his shoulder, “How was your day?”

“Fine, didn’t do much.” he lets out a small sigh and leans his cheek on top of your head, “Are you staying the night?”

You sit up straight, looking deep into his eyes, “Do you want me to stay?”

He stares at you, not saying anything for a few moments, then cups your cheek and leans into kiss you, “Of course.”

He picks you up and carries you with ease up the stairs and to his room. He sets you down on the bed and when he turns his back to turn off the light, you stand up and start to undress.

“Let me help.” his eyes are gentle as he carefully unzips your pants and he presses a wet kiss to your hip when he bends down to pull them off. You pull your shirt over your head and unhook your bra, tossing them on the dresser.

John takes off his shirt, putting it on you and you close your eyes as the warmth from it soaks into your skin. Leaning your forehead against his bare chest, you reach down to unbuckle his belt and let your hands slide over his ass as you push his pants down.

He quickly covers himself when you catch him grower harder, “Sorry.”

You turn around, crawling back on the bed and snuggle under his blanket. John quickly repositions himself to accommodate you and kisses the top of your head when you tuck yourself into his side.

Running your fingers lightly over his chest, you watch his nipples harden and lift your head slightly to catch a glimpse of his erection growing in his boxers. As your hand travels lower, you feel him hold his breath. Sliding your hand into his boxers, you wrap your fingers around him and slowly begin stroking him. You look up to check for his reaction and see him gazing at you adoringly.

He gently removes your hand and turns on his side to face you. He swallows hard and looks nervous as he leans forward to kiss you. He opens his mouth to talk, but nothing comes out. You slip your hand back under the blanket and start to pull his boxers down, maintaining eye contact the entire time. He stops you to pull at your underwear and quickly disposes of them. From under the blanket, you feel him kick his boxers off and he pulls you on top of him.

“Listen, I…” John says and you press your finger to his lips to hush him.

“I don’t wanna talk.” you say as you lean down to kiss him and remove your shirt.

You reach between the two of you and slip him inside you, both letting out a small moan at the sensation. You roll your hips at a lazy pace – wanting to take your time with him. Moving in sync with one another, he reaches up to run his thumb along your jawline.

He wraps his arms around you and pulls you into his chest, keeping his lips glued to yours the entire time. He sits up to lean against the headboard as you buck your hips. A quiet moan slips past his lips and his tongue pushes its way into your mouth, and you pull away to catch your breath as he bucks his hips harder.

Like two magnets, you can’t keep away from John’s lips for long and slip your tongue back in his mouth. Using your thumb, you wipe off his bottom lip that’s covered in spit from the two of you.

As his grip on your back becomes tighter, you know he’s reaching his end, so you rotate your hips and he lets out a low groan. You start to unravel and pull away from his mouth quickly as you buck your hips harder; wanting both of you to reach your peak. You bite your lip to quiet a moan and squeeze your eyes shut as his hands slide up your thighs to your waist.

Bouncing you up and down on his cock, he lets out a loud moan and grabs the back of your neck, pulling your mouth to his for a heated kiss. You shudder and come unexpectedly when you feel your core fill with his warmth. You collapse against his chest breathlessly and hear him let out a small laugh.

Holding tight to you, he slides down the bed, “Hey.”

You’re clinging to his chest and you look up at him with curious eyes, “What?”

“Just for the record,” he starts to smile and kisses you quickly. “I would marry you in a heartbeat.”

You roll off him and gesture to your naked body, “Sure, you tell me that _now_.”

“Nooo,” he hovers on top of you, “You didn’t let me finish yesterday, you just left.”

“You didn’t stop me.” you point out.

He lowers his head and shakes it before looking back up at you, “I love you. I would marry you. I  _want_ to marry you.” he leans down, lingering above your lips for a moment before pulling back, “Do you want to marry me?”

“Absolutely.” you caress his cheek and peck him quickly, “That wasn’t a proposal, was it?”

“No, definitely not.” he starts to laugh.

“Oh, phew!” you wipe your hand across your forehead jokingly and laugh. His tongue pushes past your lips and into your mouth as he pulls you back on top of him. “It would have been perfect, by the way.”

__

Slowly, you open your eyes, blinking a few times to adjust to the light. You feel John’s thumb lightly rub against your stomach – alerting you that he’s awake. You flip over to face him and quickly kiss him, then put your hand over your mouth, “Morning breath, gross.”

He seemingly doesn’t mind as he leans in to kiss you again. You sit up straight and stretch your arms out in front of you as you yawn. Looking over your shoulder, you see John checking his phone with a questionable look on his face.

“What’s wrong?”

He looks at you and places his phone back on the side table, “Aurelio just wants me to come to the shop for something. Not sure what it is. Could be work or something.”

“Oh.” you nod your head and start to scoot off the bed when you feel John grab your arm.

He sits up as he kisses from your elbow up to your neck and nips at your jaw. “Shower?”

You feel your cheeks turning pink and your gazes meet, “Yeah.”

He gets up from the bed and picks you up, wrapping your legs around his waist as your lips meet for a passionate kiss. You feel his cock bump against your ass as he walks to the bathroom and you close your eyes. Carefully, he sets you down, making sure your feet are securely planted on the floor before letting go.

He moves swiftly to start the water and gestures you over to test out the temperature. When he sees you close your eyes and smile, he pulls you into the shower and under the spray of water. His beard scratches against your face as he kisses you and you wrap arms around his neck; standing on your tip toes to deepen the kiss.

His hand runs the expanse of your body and he smirks as his fingers find their way to your clit. At the feeling, you moan and start to lean back against the wall. With one hand resting on the wall and the other between your legs, John continues stroking you and your eyes roll shut. Pressing kisses to your body, he kneels in front of you. He holds your left leg tight in his hand as he lifts your right leg and hikes it over his shoulder.

Licking over your clit, he buries his face as he inserts a finger. You grab a fistful of his wet hair to pull him closer and moan. You look down just as he looks up at you.

“You like that?”

Unable to articulate a response, you let out a moan that is amplified by the shower walls. You feel him smiling against your thighs as he nips and sucks on them.

He stands back up and grabs your ass; lifting you up and wrapping your legs around his waist. After a few awkward seconds of positioning yourselves, he slips in and thrusts a few times as you stretch to his size. He pins you to the shower wall for support and fucks you hard, showing no mercy. He leans forward to kiss you and is cut short when a moan escapes your lips and you lean your head back against the wall. You look up at him quickly when you hear him laughing.

“Don’t laugh.”

“I’m not laughing at you,” he lets out a small moan in between his words and slows down as you buck your hips, urging him to continue. “I’m just laughing because it can’t get any better than this.”

You wrap your arms tight around his neck and claim his lips with yours. Pushing your tongue past his lips, you explore his mouth. Your lips fit perfectly with his; like two puzzle pieces.

“I love–” you lose your train of thought as he hits your hidden spot and you both moan loudly. He licks his lips and takes your nipple into his mouth, causing you to moan even louder. Feeling yourself tipping over the edge, you lean your head back against the wall.

“Yes!” you claw at his back and chest, leaving red marks behind. A smile grows across John’s face as he watches you ride out of your orgasm on his cock. You’re breathless as he fucks you harder; bringing on his own orgasm.

He brings his lips to yours for one final kiss as he fills you up. Pinning you hard against the wall, your legs start to shake from clenching them so hard and you try to hop down. He pulls back under the spray of water and kisses you before gently placing you back on the ground. The two of you cling together as the water runs down your backs.

“If this is how I spend every morning, I would die a happy man.” he says, and you feel his lips press against your head and you smile.

After taking your time washing each other, John turns off the water and wraps a towel around his waist. Holding tight to your hand so you don’t slip, he helps you out and wraps a towel around you.

He rests his forehead against yours, wrapping you in his arms, “I need to go down the shop and talk with Aurelio. Will you be here when I get back?”

You nod your head and he kisses your cheek quickly before exiting the bathroom to get dressed. You follow behind him and grab your clothes to get dressed.

As John fixes his shirt in the mirror, you’re breathless and feel weak in the knees. He’s wearing faded jeans and a plain white t-shirt and you think back to the day you met him.

He grabs his favorite brown leather jacket from his closet and as he puts it on, he finds you staring, “What?”

“Nothing,” you shake your head as you shimmy into your jeans and pull your shirt over your head, “It’s just…you were wearing that the day we met.”

He turns to look in the mirror and lets out a chuckle, “Yeah, I guess I was.”

“I’ll never get over how gorgeous you are.” you say, shaking your head.

He quickly walks over to you and lays you on the bed as he begins kissing you mercilessly. You giggle as squirm away from him, but he pulls you back and lays on top of you.

“I gotta go.” he says with his lips still pressed to yours and hops up from the bed.

When he turns around to say goodbye, he runs back over and begins kissing you again as the two of you fall back onto the bed.

“Just one more kiss,” his lips are back on yours and he kisses you relentlessly, “I have to go.”

You lean up to kiss him, long and hard. He pulls back, watching as a smirk spreads across your face. “I’m not stopping you.”

“Yes, you are.” he says as he tries to pull himself away from you.

Finally, you shove him off of you and he helps you stand up. You cling to his side as you walk him to the door and kiss him goodbye before heading to the kitchen. 

__

Sitting at the kitchen table, you hear John walk in. His feet are like claps of thunder as he makes his way to the kitchen. You stand up to greet him and when you see his face, red and angry, and you freeze.

“Baby, what’s wrong?” you stand still and look at him.

He carefully removes a photo from his jacket pocket and places in on the table. You reach out to grab it and John slaps his hand over it, causing you to jump. After a few moments, he slides the picture towards you and you reach out to turn it over.

“Why would you do this?”

As you flip the picture over, you see Helen’s face scribbled out with red ink. “I didn’t do this.” your hands begin to shake and you throw it back on the counter, disgusted. “John, I didn’t do that.”

“Don’t lie to me.” the words come out like fire and they burn as he walks over to you. “How did it get in your car?”

“I don’t know, but I’m not lying to you.” you stop backing away as he gets closer. “You don’t believe me, do you?” you can feel the heat radiating off his body as he gets closer to you. You reach for his arms and feel him shaking. “I would never do this.  _You know me._  Why don’t you believe me?” you try to pull his arms around you as you fall into his chest. “I love you.”

You wait a moment and start to whimper when he doesn’t say anything. You take a few steps back and he looks at you, narrowing his eyes. They’re cold, and all the love he’s ever had in them are gone, and you start to understand why people fear him so much.

Standing your ground, you stare back at him as you blood starts to boil. “Say what you want, John.”

“I want you to leave,” he avoids your eyes and looks over your shoulder to Bleu running around in the backyard, “I don’t want to see you right now.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” you surprise yourself when you hear how angry you sound.

“Go… _please_.” the words come out through gritted teeth and his voice is deep and angry. Cupping his face in your hands, your gazes meet and you see his face soften a little when he sees how hard you’re crying. He shakes his head and pulls your hands off his face. “Please.”

“I thought you knew me better than this, John. You’re going to feel like an ass when you realize I didn’t do this.” you say and leave the kitchen, and from the reflection of the oven door, you watch as John sits down at the table and begins to cry.


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warnings:** None.

In a daze, you don’t hear someone knocking at your door. The knocks turn into pounds, and you sit up quickly to unlock your door. When you see Tess and April, you try to keep the tears away as they hug you. They move to your bed and wait for you to open up.

A tear slips from your eyes, and then an avalanche of tears fall on your cheeks. They’re endless as you sob into your pillow and the girls are on both sides of you, sitting in silence and letting you cry. You let out a loud groan and sit up.

“How did you know?” you ask as you wipe tears off your face.

“You’ve been locked in your room for four days. You haven’t talked to me at work. And you...” Tess exhales and nods towards your clothes, “Well, you look like shit.”

“I’m sorry.” you apologize as you begin crying again and they hug you tight.

“It’s okay, just tell us when you’re ready.” April’s voice is quiet and soothing.

“Okay,” you take a deep breath and calm yourself. “I’m ready.”

April and Tess scoot closer as you recall the events.

“He thinks…I took a picture of Helen and scribbled out her face in some jealous rage. I know he loved her. Yes, at first I felt like I always had to live up to her, but I don’t feel like that anymore. I thought he knew me better than this, but I guess not.”

“Why would he even think you would do that?” April asks and reaches out for your hand.

“I don’t know, I think what hurts the most is the that he thought I did it. He really thinks I would do something like that to him.” you sigh as Tess hops up from your bed and heads for the door, “Where are you going?”

“I’m going to his house. He’s being dumb.”

You jump up and grab her arm, “No, don’t.”

April stands next to Tess and nods her head, “I’m going too.”

“Stop!” you cover your face with your hands and sigh. “Just…stop. I think this is it.” you move and sit back on your bed. “I think…this is the end of me and John. I just…I can’t do it anymore. It isn’t fair to either of us. We fight and break up, then make up. I’m not sure it’s even worth it, not if he thinks I would do this to him.”

“Don’t you love him?” Tess asks as she sits next you and April pulls up a chair.

“Yes,” your voice cracks as you speak and you clear your throat, “Of course I love him.”

“Then it’s worth it.” Tess shrugs and walks out of your room.

“What?” you look up at her as she leaves your room.

You look over at April and she shrugs. “It’ll work out. You love each other.”   
  
You’re left speechless and you sit back on your bed as your eyes begin to burn.

__

You’ve only slept a few hours last night, and your mind has been running a mile a minute, ultimately keeping you awake. You groggily walk into the bathroom and look at yourself in the mirror. Your eyes are blood shot and swollen from crying and your hair is a mess on top of your head. You peel off your clothes and start the shower, hopping in and not caring about the temperature.

If it wasn’t for Tess’ party, you would be happy to lay in bed all day and sulk. Tess knocks on the door and slips in. Her hair is neatly curled away from her face and she’s wearing a cream colored dress that fits her perfectly. When you see her, you smile until your eyes meet and feel yourself tearing up.

“Hey,” she sits next to you and slings her arm over your shoulder, “How are you doing today?”

You shrug, “A little better, I think…I’m not sure. Feel kind of numb, to be honest.” 

“I know you’re my maid of honor, but you can totally skip this. It’s just a few people. It’s not our actual engagement party.” she moves her arm off your shoulder to hold your hand.

“I could never do that.” you surprise yourself when you start to laugh a little. “I just don’t know what to wear.”

“Well, good thing I’m here.” she walks over to your closet and starts looking through your clothes. “A dress would be good. Ooh, maybe something red. Like a deep red.” she pulls out a dress and raises an eyebrow, “This one fits you like a glove.”

You know what she really wants to say: _John will be here and he’d die seeing you in this._  To be honest, it does look good on you and it would be kind of fun to show John what he’s missing. Funny…and cruel.

“Fine.” you head to the bathroom and slip into the dress quickly and pair it with taupe heels. She pushes you toward your desk and begins doing your hair and makeup, consciously not bringing up John so you don’t cry your make up off.

Tess peeks out the door as people file into the house and quickly closes the door, “People are arriving so I’m going to head down. Time to meet some of my new family.” she checks herself in the mirror and tries to shake off the nervousness. As she grabs the door, she turns around, “Seriously, we won’t hate you if you don’t come out of your room.”

After an hour of procrastinating, you finally head down to the living room. It’s unseasonably warm today and people are out on the patio. You make your way past Tess and outside to find April, and you see she’s deep in conversation with someone, so you turn to go back inside.

“Hey,” you turn around and see Tess’ cousin who lives in New York and who you also forgot the name of. He leans in and hugs you quickly, “Hi, oh my god, how long has it been?”

“Oh gosh, it’s been a long time.” you smile as you rack your brain to try and remember his name. “How are you?”

“I’m good, just been working a lot…” he starts to ramble and you quickly lose interest.

You feel someone’s eyes on you and as you look over your shoulder, you do a double take when you see John sitting by himself; eyes fixed on you. You maintain eye contact for a few seconds and Tess’ cousin touches your arm, grabbing your attention. You feel your nose start to burn at the sight of John, and you quickly excuse yourself.

Tess stops you immediately and shoves you back out the door to the patio, “We’re doing a toast now.”

“Tess, no. I can’t.” you protest.

She shushes you and continues pushing you outside, “You don’t have to talk.”

Jimmy whistles loudly and everyone gathers around as he start to talk, “We want to thank you all for coming here today. We really appreciate it.”

You look up and catch John staring before he quickly looks away, and you roll your eyes at him when he looks back at you moments later. You slowly start to back away when Jimmy calls your name. You freeze in place when everyone looks at you, including John who perks up a little.

“Me?” you say, pointing at yourself.

“Yeah.” he waves you over, and you stand next to Tess.

“And John. Where is he? There he is.” he points and waves John over.

John reluctantly gets up and walks over, standing on the other side of you, and his hand brushes against your ass when you shift in place. You quickly look up at him, glaring but he keeps looking at Jimmy.

“If it wasn’t for these two amazing people, I never would have met Tess, the love of my life. We want to thank you both and thank all of you again for coming. It means so much to me to have some of my family here so they can meet my beautiful bride.”

Jimmy unexpectedly grabs Tess and dips her, kissing her passionately, and the backyard erupts with laughter and applause. You smile and slowly slip away, heading for your room.

Locking yourself in your bathroom, you try to keep yourself from falling apart as you sit on the edge of the tub. You stand up and fix your dress, checking your make up in the mirror and exit the bathroom to find John sitting on your bed. He stands up when he sees you and shuts your door to keep you from leaving.

“I don’t want to do this right now, John.” you push past him and grab the door handle, but his hand is on top of yours, stopping you. He moves your hair out of your face and his thumb brushes against your cheek. You look up and stare at him for a moment. “You’re mad at me, remember?”

He opens his mouth to talk and you cut him off.

“I don’t want to see you right now…sound familiar?” you move his hand out of the way and quickly leave as he sits down on your bed.   
  
As you start down the stairs, you feel the anger boiling in your core. You stop dead in your tracks and turn back around, stomping up the stairs and into your room. John is on your bed with his head down, and he’s looking at his hands like he always does when he’s thinking too much.

You feel the anger rising and you swallow it down. You want to scream at the top of your lungs, but you don’t when you remember the people downstairs. Instead, your voice is firm, and you know he can hear the anger as the words leap from your lips.  
  
“You know what, no. I have something to say to you. _How dare you._ How dareyou think I would  _ever_ do that to you. I love you, and I’ve never been anything but honest with you, I have donenothing to even make you  _think_  I would do that. The fact that you actually think I would do something so childish…I can’t believe you.” 

You shake your head and look up at John, who is avoiding all eye contact with you. His eyes flicker up to you and when he sees you looking, he quickly looks back down at the ground like a child being scolded.

As you turn back around to leave, you look over your shoulder at him and wait until he makes eye contact with you, “Fuck you, John.”

__

Taking off your heels, you start to climb the stairs to your room. You peek around the corner, hoping John isn’t still there. You quickly take off your dress and slip into some pajama pants and a sweater. Crawling into your bed, you let out a groan at the thought of possibly getting some sleep.

Stretching and yawning, you grab your phone to check the time and see you have a text from John asking you to come over. You sigh and feel a lump in your throat as you text him back asking if he’s still awake. Almost instantly, he replies back and asks you to come over again. You get up and throw on some jeans, then head out the door.

In a hurry to leave, you forgot a jacket and stop at the end of John’s driveway, contemplating whether or not to turn around and grab it. The wind picks up and you shiver as the wind blows cold air through the tiny holes in your sweater. You were planning on going to bed, so you didn’t think anything of it when you took off you bra – which you’re now regretting as your nipples harden. You hug your arms to your chest to keep the cold out and you shiver again.

Stars light the sky as you walk up John’s driveway, and you take a minute to enjoy the breeze against your face even though you’re cold. Standing in his driveway reminds you of the day he asked you on your first date, how the wind blew your hair in your face and without thinking, John tucked it behind your ear. You smile to yourself and continue walking up the driveway.

Noticing the only light on is coming from his bedroom, you assume that’s where he is. After knocking a few times, you let yourself in and walk into the living room, using the light of the moon as a guide. You squint your eyes in the dark and hear Bleu coming down the stairs to greet you.

“Hi, where’s your dad?” you ask as he turns around and starts running back up the stairs to John’s room.

You peek around the corner and see John sitting on the edge of his bed, fidgeting with his watch. You lean against the door frame and he looks up at you.

“Can we talk?”

Avoiding eye contact with John, you sit down next to him on the bed. He sits up a little and pulls the scribbled up photo of Helen from under his leg, and you quickly get up to leave.

“No, stop.” he grabs your arm and pulls you back to the bed.

“Unless you’re going to apologize, Jonathan…” you shake your head.

“Aurelio showed this to me, he found it in your car.” he holds up the picture before tossing it on the side table.

“I didn’t do it.” you start to stand up, and he places his hand on your thigh to stop you.

“I know,” his index finger and thumb are on your chin pulling you to meet his gaze, “I know that now.”

 _“Now?”_   you ask, anger building.

“Well I knew it then, but I was…”

“Pissed.” you finish the sentence for him.

“Yeah,” he lets out a little chuckle, “I do feel like an ass, by the way.”

“Good. I can’t believe you would even think I would do something like that to you.”

“I know, I’m so sorry.” he reaches out for your hand, turning it over in his and tracing the lines. He brings your hand to his mouth, pressing a quick kiss to it before sighing. “I just don’t…I’m bad at this. I just don’t think I’m cut out for this.”

You pull your hand away quickly and feel your heart shatter into a million pieces, “John…”

“I’m sorry.” when your gazes meet again, you see he’s starting to tear up.

You start to laugh at little, completely aware that’s inappropriate. “Are you breaking up with me?”

“I think it’s what’s best for you.” he tries to rub your cheek and you swat his hand away. “I’m sorry.”

“No,” you get up from his bed and look at him, “No, I’m not letting you break up with me. You told me you loved me, don’t you love me?”

“More than anything.” he stands up, towering over you and wraps his arms around your waist. “But you deserve-–”

You quickly press your finger to his lips and watch as his eyes grow wide in shock.

“Jonathan Wick, don’t you dare finish that sentence.” you push him back to sit down on the bed and kneel in front of him, “You know you deserve to be loved, right?”

He looks down, shaking his head, “I don’t. Not after the way I talked to you. I was mad, and I took it out on you.”

You start to laugh a little and he reaches out for your hands. “You were mad, I get it. I was mad at you too, I literally told you to fuck off like five hours ago. Baby,  _it’s okay_.”

“It’s not.” he says and closes his eyes when he feels your hands on his face.

“You deserve every ounce of love, you deserve  _everything_.” your words are genuine as they come out, and you feel yourself tearing up.

“I don’t deserve  _you_.” he cups your hands, keeping them on his face as he looks up at you.

“Yes, you do. I knew the moment I met you that you were different from anyone else. You’re the most amazing man I’ve never known. I’ll never be able to say that enough.”

“You _really_ mean that?” he stares back at you as his eyes soften.

“Of course.” you say as you get up and sit in his lap, “I love you more than anything. One day, you’re gonna believe me.” you pull his head into your chest and kiss the top of his head before resting your cheek against his forehead.

“You’re incredible,” he leans back to look up at you and lays down on the bed, pulling you to his side, “I’ve never met someone like you. _You’re_ amazing.”

You roll your eyes jokingly and try to sit up, but he pulls you back down to him causing you to yelp. He hovers over you and leans in close, noses touching one another.

“I’m sorry I yelled at you earlier, but also…I’m kind of not. I am sorry for saying ‘fuck you’ though.” you frown and sigh a little.

“Oh, I definitely deserved it. And to be fair, I never thought you _actually_  did it. I was going to run after you, but when I got up, you were already gone. I figured you’d call me when you were ready. I didn’t think it’d be so long though.” he closes his eyes and rests his forehead against yours.

“It was four days.”

“Felt like a lifetime though, I’m  _so_  sorry.” he presses his lips to your forehead and leaves them there for a moment.

You want to ask about the picture. Who did it? Why was it in your car? But you don’t. This isn’t what needs to happen in this moment. John doesn’t think he deserves to be loved, doesn’t think he deserves you. That’s what matters right now -– proving to John that you love him, no matter what.

“Jonathan, please don’t ever think you’re not good enough for me. And don’t ever think you don’t deserve me.” you say as you tuck his hair behind his ear and tears prick your eyes. “I’ve never met a man as incredible as you.”

“You’re everything to me.” he buries his face in the crook of your neck and kisses your shoulder.

“No more fighting,  _please_. My poor heart can’t take it anymore.”

“Yes ma'am.” he laughs and presses a kiss to your heart. He pulls back and raises an eyebrow as he watches you try to hold in a yawn.

You fail and cover your mouth with your hand, squeezing your eyes shut. “Sorry. I’ve gotten like _no_ sleep these past few nights.”

“Me neither. I’m sorry. You wanna stay the night?” he asks as he gets up and pulls a shirt from his drawer, offering it to you.

“I mean, I’m already here.” you shrug and smile.

Quickly stripping down and putting on John’s shirt, you crawl into bed and wrap your arm over his chest.

“Oh!” you jump back up and grab your phone. “I should at least text April and tell her where I am.” you toss your phone back down and crawl back to John. “I think I’m going to need some pajama pants, it’s getting cold.”

“You can have mine.” he starts to pull his pants down and you stop him.

“You just want to take your pants off.” you look up, and he starts to laugh as his cheek turn a little red. You scoot in closer and let out a small moan when his hand rubs against your thigh. “You’re always so warm. My own personal furnace.”

You lean up as he snakes his right arm around you, his left hand reaches under the blanket and grabs your leg, slinging it over his waist. Falling asleep is his arms is by far your new favorite position, and you feel yourself drifting off as his thumb rubs your thigh.

“You’re my best friend.” his voice is so quiet you almost think you dreamed it.

“I’m so in love with you.” you say as your lips press against his for a quick kiss.

You pull back to stare at him for a moment and he leans back in. You bite your lip and lean in even closer. His breath is hot on your face, and suddenly neither of you know anything about personal space. His lips lightly brush against yours while his hand slides up your thigh to your underwear and he begins tugging at them.

“Make love to me, John.”

His lips crash against yours, his tongue pushes past your lips and slips into your mouth, dancing with yours. Leaving your lips for a few seconds, he reaches up and turns off the lamp next to his bed as the moonlight spills in through the curtains. He hovers over you and peppers your face with delicate kisses, and as his tongue slips back into your mouth, the world melts away.


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warnings:** Yup, nsfw

A bark coming from down the stairs jolts you awake, and you pull the blanket over your head to shield your eyes from the sun peeking through the curtains. When you stretch, you feel a delicious soreness between your legs and smile to yourself when you remember the love you and John made the night before. Your skin still tingles from where his fingers and lips were, and you cover your face with your hands, letting out a content sigh.

Looking up to check the time, you notice the scribbled out picture of Helen that was on the nightstand is gone and replaced with a picture of you and John. You sit up and look at it before hugging it close to your chest and gasping as the metal frame comes in contact with your skin. Ignoring the shirt John has left on his pillow, you hop up and get dressed in last night’s clothes at the speed of light. Missing John already, you practically run to the kitchen to see him.

Knowing better than to sneak up on John, you greet him as you enter the kitchen, “Good morning, handsome.” you say as you wrap your arms around his waist and press kisses to his back while your hands explore his chest. “How did you sleep?”

He turns around in your arms and lifts you up on the kitchen island. Spreading your legs apart, he fits between them like a puzzle piece.

“I slept well.” The two of you start to smirk, and he leans in to kiss you quickly. “How did you sleep?”

He laughs when he sees your cheeks growing pink. He doesn’t wait for an answer, and his lips meet yours for a burning kiss as his hands slide up your outer thighs and onto your ass.

You look over his shoulder and see the pancakes as they start to burn, “John!”

He turns around quickly and tries to flip them and when he sees they’re too burnt to eat, he turns the stove off and turns back to you, “That was your fault.”

“Was not.” you cross your arms over your chest.

“Yeah, you came down here in those jeans. I saw them last night, they’re so tight on your ass.” he slowly starts walking over to you as you hop down and back away from him.

“Oh! These jeans?” you stick your leg out and point at them as you hop back on one foot. He slowly nods and watches as you turn around and bend over the table. You rest your head on your hands, sticking your ass out and shaking it a little. “Yeah, I guess they’re okay.” 

Looking over your shoulder, you watch him get closer as he’s staring at your ass. He bites his lip and reaches out to grab you, but you move and sit down in the chair. He pulls you up from the chair, and his hands land on your ass, grabbing it tight. He lightly spanks it a few times before squeezing it hard in both hands.

You quickly duck out of his arms and run to the other side of the kitchen. A smile spreads across his face as he stalks you, trying to get close enough to grab you. You’ve never seen John this happy and for a moment, you consider letting him catch you.

“Hmm, maybe I should let you catch me…” you turn around, sticking your ass out and shaking it, “Nah.”

He takes a big step forward, and you scream as you run out of the kitchen. Laughter fills the house as he chases you around the living room and up the stairs to his room. On the third step, you feel John’s arms wrap around you and lift you up as you both laugh. He carries you to his room, and you break away from his hold, running to the other side of the bed. He starts to pout a little, hoping it’ll cause you to give in.

“Oh, don’t give me that. You’re literally an assassin and you can’t catch me?” you laugh and see him slowly making his way over to you.

Sticking your tongue out, you shake your hips and he starts to laugh. You quickly hop on the bed and he grabs your legs, pulling you down.

“John!” you scream as you tumble onto the bed.

“Got you.” he plops down on top of you, using all his weight to keep you in place and kisses your nose, then buries his face in the crook of your neck.

You wiggle out of his hold a little to wrap your arms around him, “You’re just a gentle giant, aren’t you?”

He stares at you for a moment before answering. “With you.”

You try to hide a smile, but it spreads across your face, “Oh, right… _the boogeyman_. It’s still hot, by the way. So, what’s on the agenda for today?”

“I was thinking…” he starts to stand up, pulling you up with him and you walk to the mirror. “We should invite Jimmy and Tess over. Kind of feel bad for how I acted at their party.”

“Yeah, I wasn’t in the best mood either.” you catch him looking at you through the mirror and raise your eyebrows.

He watches you as you fix your hair and check yourself out, and he smiles when he sees you turn a little to look at your ass in the mirror. Once you’re done, he wraps his arms tight around your waist.

“I wanted to tell you...you looked beautiful yesterday.” he slowly unbuttons your jeans, and he slips his hand into your underwear and stops. “I wanted to kiss you so bad, wanted to feel your skin against mine.”

“Keep going.” you whisper and watch through the mirror as his hand starts to explore further. Inching his way down to your core, you feel your knees buckle, and you're thankful when he keeps a tight grip on you. He slips his middle finger in, and you tilt your head back against his shoulder, letting out a moan.

When you look back to your reflections in the mirror, you see him watching you with a smile on his face, “Beautiful.”

John turns you around quickly and pulls your pants down to your ankles. His hands slide up your thighs, and he grabs your ass in both hands, squeezing it gently. You maintain eye contact as he stands back up and lays you down on the bed. He pulls your pants off and kisses up your thighs, and a smile grows on his face when he sees your legs cover in goosebumps.

“I wanted to rip that dress off you and take you right there.” he says as he slips his hand back into your underwear, “Didn’t help when you moved and brushed your ass against my hand.” He pulls his fingers out and sucks on them, closing his eyes as he tastes you.

“No, that was your fault.” you close your eyes and gasp as he slips his fingers back in and starts rubbing circles over your clit with his thumb. “You could have stood on the other side, you  _chose_  to stand next to me.”

“Yeah, because I wanted to touch you.” his eyes grow wide when he realizes what he’s said, and you open your mouth and point at him.

“See, it was your fault!” you laugh and caress his cheek.

Pulling him by the collar of his shirt, you press your lips against his, and your other hand reaches over and you start to unbuttoning his pants. He pulls away from you for a moment and rips his pants off.

“My bag…” you breathe.

His face is pressed against yours, but his eyes are focused on his hand, stretching your underwear so he can watch himself stroking you. “What about it?”

“Lotion…I have lotion in it.”

He gets up quickly, finds it and squeezes some into your hand. He pulls his boxers down and peels your underwear off, quickly pressing a kiss to your hip bone. As you wrap your fingers around his cock, he gasps. “Cold.”

“Sorry.” you pull your hand away and breathe on your hand to warm it up and he starts to laugh.

“It’s okay.” he licks his lips as he leans back in to kiss you and wraps his free hand around your shoulder to pull you close to his chest.

You tilt your head back as he kisses your neck, letting out a moan. “You’re so fucking good with your fingers, John.”

He bites his lip and looks down at you stroking him, letting out a moan when he watches himself slip through your grip.

“When I saw you in that dress…” he stops talking as you grip him tighter.

“Keep going.” you whisper.

“Your ass was as round as a peach.” he pulls away from you quickly and widen your legs. “I wanted to take a bite out of it.”

Stroking you faster, you feel your legs start to shake and you close your eyes, “God, you’re _so_ good at this.”

“You wore that dress on purpose, didn’t you?”

“Maybe…” you open one eye and see him watching you, “You know how much I love that turtleneck. I  _know_  you wore that on purpose.”

“Absolutely.” his mouth engulfs yours as you both begin stroking each other faster. You feel a burst of warmth on your hand and leg, and you open your eyes to watch John as he lays back against the bed and his eyes roll shut as he twitches.

After a moment, he gets up to kneel in front of the bed and pulls you down, spreading your legs as he dives in. You let out a wail as he licks over your clit – already over stimulated and he inserts his finger, curling it to hit your hidden spot. You arch your back and moan loudly, immediately coming.

“Damn, I  _am_  good at this.” he jumps up and grabs a towel from the hamper to clean himself off and quickly wipes you off.

“Okay, don’t get too cocky now.” you tease as you reach over for your underwear. You stand to put them back on as John grabs his boxers off the floor. Bending over to grab your jeans, you feel teeth on your ass.

“Jonathan!” you quickly turn around and look at it in the mirror. “Oh, my god, you left teeth marks!”

He starts to laugh as he pulls his pants on quickly and sits down on the bed. “Told you I wanted to take a bite out of it. Look, I’ll let you bite me.”

You pull your pants on and move to stand in front of him, “So, I can just bite you wherever I want?”

“Well, depends on where.” he slowly covers his crotch and you laugh.

“Hmm…” you bend down, and he leans back to expose his neck to you. “No, not there.” You run your finger down his chest, to his stomach, down the crotch his pants and to his knee. You straddle him, push him down onto the bed and lift his shirt up, sinking your teeth into his chest. “There.”

His hand rubs over the teeth marks as you marvel at your work. “Ow! I didn’t bite you that hard.”

“You did.” you laugh and lean down to cover his face with kisses.

“I love you so much.” he grabs you and pulls you into his chest.

“More than…a really good steak?”

He nods his head, “Yeah.”

“More than bookbinding?” you ask as you kiss his cheek.

“Of course.” he laughs.

“More than….” you squint your eyes, trying to think of something else to say.

“More than  _anything_.” he cups your cheeks and doesn’t break eye contact with you even as he leans up to kiss you.

“You know what I love about you?”

He sits back up, bringing you into a bear hug, “What?

“I love your hands…” you grab his hand and press a kiss to the palm of it. You slip his middle finger into your mouth, all the way to the knuckle and slowly slide it back out, watching as his eyes roll shut. “Your fingers. They’re long and thick. Perfect.” you smirk and lick your lips.

“What else?” his voice is low and raspy as he watches you.

“Your eyes. They’re so warm and kind, but can also be dark and mysterious.” you say, and he blinks rapidly, making you both laugh. “And when you smile, you get little crinkles in the corners.”

“Keep going.” he starts to smirk when your eyes land on his lips.

“Your freckles and your nose! You have a very nice nose, Mr. Wick.” you lean forward, kissing it and rest your forehead against his. “I love the way your voice sounds, it’s so sexy and deep. I love how you always have a shirt waiting for me on your pillow in the morning. I love that you always want to hold my hand. I  _love_  how soft you are.”

He pulls back to look at you and laughs, “Soft?”

“Yeah, you’re so soft…you know, like cuddly and warm and full of love.” you nuzzle into his neck and inhale his cologne. “I love how safe you make me feel. When we’re in your car, I know you want to drive fast, but you always make sure to go speed limit.”

“Precious cargo.” he says as he kisses your collar bone.

“Jonathan, I could literally go on forever.” you reach up to cup his cheeks.

He looks at his watch and then back at you, “I have all the time in the world.”

You start to laugh and lean down to kiss him on the cheek.

“But what I love most of all,” you place your hand over his heart and stare at him, “Your heart. I love how much you love me. You’re  _such_  a good man and you have so much love to give. I really don’t know how I got so lucky.” you blink as a tear slips out and runs down your cheek. John quickly wipes it away with his thumb and cups your cheek.

He stares back at you and you see tears in his eyes, “I love you.”

“I love you, too.” you pull him into a kiss and he lays back on the bed, “I’m a lucky girl.”

He shakes his head and sits back up, “I’m a lucky man.”

He pulls you tight to his chest and holds on to you for dear life. You hear Bleu’s nails clicking on the floor as he gets closer, and you turn around when he walks into the room and jumps on the bed. He licks John’s cheek, and you hop up as Bleu starts attacking John’s face with kisses.

“My boys.” you whisper to yourself as you watch the two of them.

Bleu jumps off the bed and as you bend down to pet him, he licks your cheek before running out of the room.

“I’m going to take Bleu for a walk. Why don’t you call Tess and see if they’re available for tonight?” he hugs you tight and kisses the top of your head.

You head to the kitchen as John leaves, and you pull out your phone to call Tess, grabbing some paper to start a grocery list.

“Hey, I was wondering if you and Jimmy wanted to come over to John’s tonight. A little double date.” you swallow hard and hope she doesn’t say something about the fight you had with John.

“We’d love that.” you hear her put her hand over the phone and tell Jimmy. “Yeah, we’ll come over around 7.”

“Okay, we’ll see you then.” you hang up and look at the blank sheet of paper in front of you.

Tapping the pencil to your head, you think hard of what to buy. When you glance up to check the clock on the wall, you see rain falling from the sky. You hear Bleu bark and run to the living room and watch John chase him around the front yard, trying to catch him and get back inside.

_They didn’t make it far._

You open the door, and Bleu rushes past you and into the house, jumping on his pet bed. John is out of breath and puts his hands on knees as he tries to catch his breath, “Did you…call…Tess?”

You push him to sit on the couch and he leans back, closing his eyes. “Yes, I called. They’ll be here around 7.”

He looks up to check his watch and tilts his head back. “Okay, well, we should go to the store then.” You move to sit in his lap and he wraps his arms around you as he leans in to start kissing your neck. “Or we can stay here…we can cancel.”

“This was literally your idea.”

“I know, but…” he moves your hair and kisses your collarbone, “I just…want you all to myself.”

You raise an eyebrow at him and smile, “Tonight, after they leave. I promise. I’m all yours.”

“Good.” he’s still out of breath, and he tilts his head back and looks out the window. He points out the window as the rains begins to pour down, "We're gonna need an umbrella."

__

“What does Tess like to eat?” John asks as he leans against the cart. He’s so tall, he almost looks awkward bending over so low to rest his arms on the handle.

You stand on the front of the cart and he starts pushing it down the aisle, “Uh, anything.”

“So, we’ll just have…” he looks around and grabs random cans from the shelf, “Beets and pear slices.”

You scrunch your face up in disgust and laugh, “I don’t know, just do chicken. Everyone likes chicken.”

You hug tight on John’s arm as you walk down the aisle with him, and when you look up to say something, you notice he’s smiling. “What?”

He stops and turns to you, cupping your face in his hands, “This is fun.”

You pull back and raise an eyebrow, “What is?”

“Grocery shopping with you. Picking out food with you, buying paper towels…I just love it. I love  _you_.” he squishes your cheeks in his hands and laughs.

“You’re so cute.” you duck under his arms and push the cart with him, and when you stop walking, he almost trips. “Oh! We need more dog treats. I’ll be right back.”

When you come around the corner, you see John talking to a woman. For a brief moment, you feel a twinge of jealousy, but as soon as John sees you, he doesn’t break eye contact with you. You toss the treats in the cart, and the woman watches as John wraps an arm around your shoulder and pulls you into his chest. Her cheeks turn red and she storms off.

“Was she hittin’ on you?” you tease and notice as he starts to squirm. “Ooh, she _definitely_ was.”

“No, she just needed help reaching something from the top shelf.”

You turn around and give him a blank stare as you reach up to the top shelf and grab a box down, “Really? I’m  _much_  shorter than her and even I can reach.”

He starts to laugh and pulls you into a hug, “Seriously, she just needed help.”

“You are  _so_  oblivious.” you kiss his cheek and start walking away, “It’s very cute, you know.”

__

“I need to run home.” you say as John pulls into the driveway. “I need to shower and change my clothes.” John quickly puts the car in reverse and heads back to your driveway. “John, I can walk.”

“There, now you don’t have to get all wet.” he puts the car in park, turning it off and leans back in his seat, getting comfortable while he waits for you.

“Chivalry is not dead, I don’t care what they say.” You start to laugh and hop out of his car and quickly pack a bag.

**

“I’ll just shower at your house, your water is always warmer anyway.” you say as you get back in the car and you shiver from your rain soaked hair. The car roars back to life and he speedily pulls up the driveway and into the garage.

“You can go hop in, if you want. I can put all this away.” he watches you closely as you start to shiver from the cold and he rubs your arms, trying to warm you up.

“No, I can help.” you reach into grab a bag and he stops you.

“Baby, your lips are turning blue.” he quickly kisses you and pushes you through the front door, spanking you lightly on the ass to make you move. “Go!”

“Fine! Fine, I’ll go.” you rolls your eyes as you laugh and head to his room.

You start the water before taking off your clothes and let the steam fill the bathroom. When the mirror fogs over, you leave a heart on it with your name. You strip down and quickly get in and shiver when the warm water comes in contact with your skin. You wash your body and hair in a matter of minutes and continue to stand under the spray when you hear a knock on the door.

“Yeah?”

“Hey, babe, Jimmy just called. They’re going to come over tomorrow instead. The storm is getting really bad and Tess doesn’t want to leave the house.” you hear his voice getting louder as he walks over to the shower.

“Okay, that’s fine.”

You wipe away the steam on the shower door to get a good look and notices he’s staring at your chest pressed against the glass. When you see him watching, you turn around and shake your ass against the glass, causing it to make a squeaky noise. You press your breasts back against the glass and almost fall out when John opens the door, revealing his naked body.

“No funny business.” you warn as he steps in.

He starts to laugh as he ducks under the spray quickly to wet his hair and he wraps his arms around you. Your hands run up his arms to his biceps and you pull him closer to you.

“So…no funny business?” he asks as his lips brush against your neck.

“I can’t keep having sex with you at every moment, you’ll stop wanting me so much.” you start to laugh, and he pulls back to look at you.

“I’m never going to stop wanting you.” he leans forward and kisses you with warm lips. You pull apart, and his eyes flicker over your face, then he leans back in for a fiery kiss, tongues dancing with each other. His hands are resting on both sides of your face and he pulls away from your lips. “No one will ever love you or want you as much as I do.”

It’s a scary thing to have someone say something like that to you. It’s even scarier when you realize that you believe him. The two of you seem to have a silent conversation as you stare into each other’s eyes. His eyes drop to your lips and he leans in to claim them with his. His kisses become harder and more urgent as your hands grab at his back, nails digging into him. He’s intoxicating, and you feel yourself throbbing with arousal. His hands run up and down your body, exploring. You pull yourself away from his lips and push him back against the shower wall.

Kneeling in front of him, you stroke him a few times before taking him into your mouth. He lets out a moan when your lips wrap around his cock, and he looks down, keeping eye contact with you as he slides in and out of your mouth. His eyes roll shut, and he tilts his head back as you slide your hands up his thighs. Your hand runs up his stomach and to his chest and he grabs it, pulling you up from the floor and to his lips.

“I was having fun.” you pull back and look at him.

“Oh, I was too, but I missed your lips on mine.” he smiles and presses a hard kiss to your lips, and for a moment you think he might bruise them.

He lifts you up, wrapping your legs around him and slips in easily. Pinning you against the wall, he thrusts deep and slow – taking his time with you.

“Sexy.” you say as you push his hair out of his face to get a better look at him.

“Me?”

“Yup.” you squeeze your eyes shut as he hits your hidden spot and let out a moan.

His thrusts become faster, and you roll your hips causing him to groan. He turns and leans back against the wall as he bounces you up and down on his cock.

“Your…” you stop talking as a moan escapes. “Your bed.”

Still holding tight to you, he opens the shower door and makes his way to his bed. Not caring about the water dripping off the two of you, he lays you down and thrusts hard. He moves your hair out of your face and kisses your forehead before moving down to take your nipple into his mouth, squeezing and kneading your breast in his other hand.

“John,” you moan his name, and he smiles.

“I love hearing my name come out of your mouth.” he thrusts so hard, it knocks the wind out of you.

Rolling off of you, he lays back and slap his thighs, and you smile and happily crawl on top of him. Grabbing his hands, you move them to your hips, urging him to guide you. You sit up straight and run your fingers through your wet hair as you rut on top of him. He watches as your hands slide over your chest and you grab your breasts.

“Remember the first time I watched Bleu for you? You came home and you were such a tease. You let me grind on you, and then said you needed to sleep.”

“Oh, trust me, I remember.” he lets out a laugh, then tilts his head back in pleasure.

“I wanted you.  _So fucking bad_. Had to go home…and touch myself.” you say as you lean in close to his face.

“Me, too” he smirks and presses a quick kiss to your lips, “I thought about the way your body would feel under mine, your tits pressed against my skin.” he pulls you close and you wiggle your breast against his chest and he closes his eyes.

“Keep going, baby.” you smile as he continues.

“I thought about how good you’d taste on my tongue. How tight you would be, how good you’d _feel_ around my cock. The way you’d sound moaning my name.” he looks at you and smiles.

You’re taken aback by how much he’s talking, but you know he’s enjoying it. The two of you have grown incredibly close and comfortable with one another. You smile down at him and he leans up to kiss you.

“I couldn’t stop thinking about how good you’d feel…filling me up. Every single inch.” you lean down to kiss him again, “Your beard against my thighs. Your lips on my neck.”

As soon as the words fall from your mouth, John moves his lips to your neck, kissing and biting, “Like this, baby?”

You nod and moan as he thrusts hard, “Fuck, I wanted you so bad.”

You sit up and run your hands up his chest as you start grinding against him again. You try your hardest to fight the orgasm rising in your core, but as soon he bucks his hips again, you let out a loud moan and start riding him faster. He sits up as you both climax together, keeping your lips pressed tightly to one another.

Out of breath and weak, you both collapse to the bed. He looks over your shoulder, then his eyes dart around the room as he sits up.

“What?” you ask as you sit up and watch him.

“Have you seen my girlfriend?” he looks at you and smirks as you slap his shoulder, laying back down as you start to blush. “You’ve never been like that before.”

You start to laugh and cover your face with your hands, “Yes, I have.”

“Okay, maybe once or twice, but…” he hovers over you and kisses your shoulder, “I liked hearing how much you wanted me.”

“It’s true.” you laugh.

“Yeah, well, I wanted you pretty bad, too. I still do.” he smiles at you and pushes your hair out of your face, “I always will.”

The sound of the shower in the background calls to John, and he hops up quickly, taking your hand in his and brings you back into the shower to wash yourselves off.

__

“So, should we just lay in bed and watch a movie?”

“Fine with me.” you say as you dry yourself off on the way to his room. Looking out the window, you see the rain is coming down in thick sheets and the lightening crawls across the sky every few seconds. You grab your bag and pour the clothes out on the bed. “I think it’s time you give me one of your drawers, then I can just leave some clothes here.”

He laughs and kisses the top of your head as he pulls on a plain t-shirt and leaves the room to let Bleu out one last time before bed.

You pull out the fuzzy pajama pants and put them on quickly before you get too cold. Exhaling loudly, you plop down on his bed and bury yourself under the covers. You pull the covers down when you hear John making his way up the stairs.

As he enters his room, the lights flicker and he freezes in place, “Oh no.”

You start to laugh as the room fades to black, “Well.”

You grab your phone from your purse and turn on the flashlight, shining it to where John is still frozen in place.

“I think I have some candles downstairs.” he heads out the door then turns around as you hand him your phone.

A few minutes later, he comes back with his hands full of candles, and you jump up and grab them from him, placing a few on the dresser and on the side tables.

You groan and slam a candle down on the dresser, “This one is no good.”

“Why not?” he asks and walks over.

“I can’t find the wick.” you immediately start laughing and look up at John, “Wick.”

He rolls his eyes, laughing and takes the candles from you. He finds the wick, lights it and places it on the dresser. The room fills with the slow golden glow and you can finally see John again.

“Wanna dance?” he asks as he stretches out his arm.

You walk over to him and wrap your arms around his neck and sway back and forth to the sound of the rain hitting the window. You move your hands down to rest on his pecs and you lay your head against his chest as his hands move to your lower back.

John starts to laugh and you pull away to look at him. “Why are you laughing?”

“Remember the day you came over to give me my mail?” he starts to laugh again, and you slowly nod as a smile spreads across your face. His laugh is contagious and you find yourself laughing too, even though you don’t why he is.

“Yeah, what about it?”

“You asked if my middle name was Candle.” he bursts out laughing, and you feel your cheeks burning.

“Don’t even bring that up, not one of my finest jokes.” your cheeks start to hurt from how hard you’re smiling and you rub your face.

“I wanted to hug you right when you said it, I could tell you were so embarrassed.” he wraps his arms around your waist and kisses your cheek.

“Well, I was nervous! You were just staring at me.” you rest your head on his chest and sigh. “Seems like so long ago, I can’t believe you even remember that.”

“I was thinking -– and you can say no...” he pulls back to look at you and starts to smile, “Would you want to move in with me?”

“I’d love to live with you someday, yeah.”

He shakes his head and licks his lips, “No, I mean,  _will_ you move in with me…right now?”

“Oh!” you look down as your cheeks turn pink.

His thumb and index finger are on your chin pulling you up to meet his gaze, “It’s better than having a drawer, in my opinion.”

You bite your lip and nod, “Yeah.”

“Really?” his eyes grow wide and he smiles.

“Yes!”

You jump into his arms and he hugs you tight to his chest. You jump into bed and watch as he blows out all the candles except the one next to his side of the bed. Crawling into bed, he has a wide grin on his face and he leans in to kiss you.

“This is our home.  _Ours_.” he says as he gestures excitedly at his room. “We need to take some more pictures. I want one of you and Bleu for my office. I want a nice one of us for the living room too. I just want pictures of you every where.” he hovers over you and kisses you gently.

“I love you.” the candle flickers in the reflection of his eyes and you lean up to kiss him.

He rolls off of you quickly to blow out the candle and the room fades to darkness as he lips meet yours again.


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warnings:** ....nsfw

Rubbing the sleep from your eyes, you look over your shoulder and see John is still asleep with his back turned to you. For a moment, you’re concerned and you focus hard to make sure he’s even breathing.

Usually, he’s up by now and has already taken Bleu for a walk. When you see his arm twitch, you sigh a breath of relief. Taking a long look at his tattoos, you feel yourself growing sad when you see the scars littering his back, so you gently roll him over onto his back.

_He looks so beautiful._

His hair is a mess against his pillow and a small strand is laying across his forehead. Staring at him for a moment, you struggle to keep yourself from kissing him. You give in and leave a ghost of a kiss on his cheek.

Carefully, you get up from the bed and head to the kitchen to make him breakfast. You throw some bacon in a pan and pour pancake batter in another. Quickly and quietly, you head up the stairs and peek around the corner to see John still fast asleep. Smiling to yourself, you run back down the stairs and wait for the food to be done. After a few minutes, you plate it and pour some coffee into a cup, then make your way back to your room.

Bleu rushes past you and jumps on the bed, waking John. He sits up straight when he sees you’re not next to him and from the doorway, you watch him as he begins to panic.

“I’m right here.” you say as you walk to the bed holding up the tray and watch him relax when he sees you. “I made you breakfast.”

“That’s my job.” he says, yawning a little.

He looks at the clock to check the time and nods when he remembers the power went out, resetting it. You place the tray in front of him and lay on your stomach at the end of the bed.

“You were tired, so I let you sleep. I was surprised I woke up before you.” you watch as he takes a bite of his food, “Sorry, my pancakes are no where near as good as yours.”

He hums and closes his eyes, “They’re amazing, are you kidding?”

You shake your head and roll your eyes, “Think Tess and Jimmy will actually come over tonight?”

“I hope so.” he puts a piece of bacon in front of your mouth and waits for you to take it. “I think it’ll be nice. They’re fun to be around.”

“Our first couple friends.” you laugh and bite the bacon out of his hand, moving to sit next to him on the bed. You lean back against the headboard, scooting close to rest your head on his shoulder, “You sure you want me to move in with you?”

He stabs a piece of pancake and bites it off his fork as his right hand rubs your thigh. “Yes, absolutely.” he swallows quickly and offers you a bite, which you take. “I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t want you to move in with me.”

“I know, but…” you sigh and look at your hands in your lap, watching as his hand slides into yours.

“But what?” he nudges you with his shoulder.

“You’re not going to get sick of me? I can be messy…and moody.”

“I know.” he starts laughing and you frown a little. “I don’t mind cleaning up after you, and I know how to deal with your moods, which aren’t as bad as you think.”

“Thanks.” you start to laugh a little.

He puts down his fork and turns to look at you, “I love you. I  _want_  to share my home with you. I want to come home from work and see you sitting on the couch, I want to make meals with you. I want to kiss you every night before I go to bed. I just always want you to be with me.” you tilt your head back against the wall and he looks at you closely. “And like you said, my water _is_  warmer than yours.”

You laugh and nod your head, “You’re right. See, if you hadn’t brought that up, I think I might have changed my mind.”

“Do you want to live with me?” he moves the tray to the floor and scoots down, pulling you into his side. “You can say no, I’d understand if you didn’t want to live with me.” his fingers lightly brush against your arm causing goosebumps to form. His other hand is laying across his chest and you twist your fingers with his.

“Of course I want to live with you.”

“Still think I’m gonna get sick of you?” he asks and lifts your chin to meet his gaze.

You start to smile, letting out a small laugh and shrug. Scooting up a little to hover over him, you press a quick kiss to his cheek. You run your finger over his face and move to lay on top of him, becoming a twist of arms and legs.

When Bleu jumps on the bed and starts licking your faces, you hop up and check John’s watch for the time, “It’s almost noon.”

“Guess we were tired.” he grabs your legs and pulls you back to the bed, kissing you relentlessly. The two of you lay in each other’s arms in silence for a moment, staring at the ceiling.

A noise coming from downstairs causes John to sit up fast. His hand is on your thigh and his grip tightens a little. You watch his shoulders as they still, his breathing slowing down.

“What?” you ask, and he turns around, quickly pressing a finger to his lips.

When he hears the noise again, he gets up from the bed.

“Stay here.” he turns around and puts his hand on your cheek.

You start to bite on your nail waiting for John to come back and your hands begin to shake.

“John,” you whisper as you get up from the bed.

Covering your mouth with your hand, you start to worry even more when he doesn’t say anything.

“It’s okay!” you hear him yell from the kitchen, “It’s just my phone.”

Rubbing your face, you sit back down on the bed and exhale. You watch John as he comes back into the room and sits on the bed next to you.

“It was just my phone beeping, I forgot to plug it in last night, so it was dying.” he catches you staring and you quickly look away. “What?”

“Nothing.” you bite your thumb as you start to smile.

“I know you, _v_ _ery well._  You want to say something.” he moves closer to you and wraps his arm around your waist.

“No, nothing.” you shake your head and bite your lip, “That was just…hot.”

He starts to laugh, “What was?”

“Oh, shut up, you know what I mean.” you jab him with your elbow and he starts to smirk, leaning in closer to you. “You were so… _protective_.”

“Of course. I’ll always protect you.” he leans forward and kisses your forehead.

“I’d love to see you at work.”

“No, you wouldn’t.” his voice is deep and serious.

“Uh…I’m thinkin’ I would.” you lean over, pressing kisses to his neck and he balls his hands into fists before pulling you off of him.

“I’m gonna take a quick shower, you wanna join?”

You tilt your head and tap your chin, “Hmm…”

Without an answer, he quickly picks you up and carries you to the bathroom, “I’m going to take that as a yes.”

__

You dance around the kitchen as John cooks and steal carrots from the bowl of salad when he’s not looking. He watches as you close your eyes, inhaling the aroma of food. Wrapping his arms around you, he leans in close to your face, ignoring all personal space. “So, are we going to tell them that you’re moving in?”

You tap a half eaten carrot to his mouth and he happily takes it. You sigh contently and nod your head, “Yeah, we’ll wait until after dinner. I know Tess and she’ll want to talk about wedding stuff.”

His lips press against yours, and when you hear a knock on the door, he pulls away and smiles, “Ready?”

You fix your skirt and smile, “Ready.”

Slipping your hand into his, you walk to the door with him, clinging tight to his side. He presses a quick kiss to your forehead, then opens the door.

Tess rushes in and hugs you, “Hi! Sorry, we had to cancel last night. The storm was so bad, and I  _did not_  want to get wet.”

“Our power went out anyway.” you say as you start to laugh.

“Same for us. That must have been fun though.” she winks at John and he starts to blush. She reaches into her bag and pulls out wedding magazines, “We have things to look at!”

“Okay.” you start to laugh as you walk with her to the living room, and you look over your shoulder at John, raising an eyebrow which makes him laugh.

“So, I’ve found a few dresses that I like. I like this one, but I don’t know, I feel like my boobs will look too big.”

“I think you’d look beautiful in that dress.” Jimmy says as he sits down on the chair, and Tess rolls her eyes.

John checks the food and quickly joins you on the couch, “That would look good on you.” he points to a dress that’s circled on the page and Tess stares at him.

“You know, that’s actually my number one pick. John, you’re really good at this.” Tess reaches over to pat him on the back, and you watch him beam with satisfaction.

You hear the oven timer go off, and both you and John get up to get the food. Setting the table, he leans over to kiss you quickly, “I love you.” 

You stand on your tip toes, despite the fact that you’re wearing ankle booties and lean up to kiss him again.

“I love  _you_ _._ _”_ you say, andhe wraps you in his arms, peppering your face with kisses as you giggle.

“Oh, sorry.” Jimmy puts his hands up and starts backing out of the kitchen, “I don’t mean to interrupt.”

“It’s fine, Jimmy.” you laugh and turn around as John pulls out your chair.

Tess walks in, inhaling the smell of chicken. “Wow,  _and_ he can cook. You better keep a tight grip on him. Someone might try to snatch him up.”

You rest your head on your hand and smile up at John, “No, I don’t think he’s going anywhere.”

John leans down and kisses the top of your head before he walks over to plate and serve everyone.

“Confident! I love it.” she says, laughing.

After several minutes of small talk, John and Jimmy begin talking about work and Tess rolls her eyes then huffs.

“So, do you have a date yet?”

She swallows quickly and points to Jimmy, “He wants to get married in the spring.”

“Like  _next_ spring?” you ask as you wipe your mouth off with your napkin. “The one coming up in a few months?”

Tess shakes her head and looks scared.

Jimmy leans over and kisses her cheek, “I want her to be wife as soon as possible.” 

You lean back in your chair and under the table, you feel John’s hand on your bare thigh moving towards the edge of your skirt. You intertwine your fingers with his to stop him from moving his hand any higher and he smirks.

“You’re lucky. If you married John, you wouldn’t have to save up money. You could just do it.” Tess gives Jimmy the side eye, then leans over to kiss him.

“Sure, _he’d_ have the money, but we’d still have to plan everything.” you shake your head and try to change the subject back to them, “Do you know where you want to get married?”

“John, are you going to marry her?” Tess asks and stares at John.

“Tess!” you and Jimmy both say in unison.

John starts to laugh a little and puts his arm around the back of your chair. Tess stares at John, waiting for him to answer and you feel like you might burst into flames.

“I’ll…be right back.” you excuse yourself and practically sprint out of the room.

Locking yourself in the bathroom, you take a moment to collect yourself. Tess is blunt, she’s always been blunt. It’s one of the things you love about her, but having just had an argument with John recently about marriage, now is  _definitely_  not the time for her to be blunt. 

A knock at the door startles you, and you take a deep breath as you place your hand on the door knob. Expecting it to be Tess, you’re surprised when you open it a crack to see John standing there.

“Are you okay?” he pushes the door open and slips in.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Are  _you_  okay?” you ask, and he looks at you as he starts to laugh.

“I’m fine. Come here.” he opens his arms, and you fall into his chest.

“I just didn’t want her to upset you with any…marriage stuff. Remember, she’s very blunt.”

He pulls you back by the shoulders and leans down so you’re at eye level with him, “You’re so cute.”

You start to smile and as he hugs you, he brushes his lips lightly against your neck making you laugh.

“Let’s get back out there.” he opens the door and reaches out for your hand. Before you enter the kitchen, he turns around and leans close to your face, “By the way, I _am_ going to marry you one day.”

You bite your cheek to keep yourself from smiling as he leads you back to the kitchen and see Jimmy and Tess have started cleaning everything up. Tess grabs your hand from John, leading you back into the living room.

“I’m getting whiplash.” you say and hear John laugh from the kitchen.

“I am so sorry. He’s not like…mad at you, is he?” Tess says and looks at you carefully.

“John? No. Of course not.”

She closes her eyes and exhales, “Oh, thank God.”

You start to laugh and she excuses herself to use the bathroom. You peek around the corner into the kitchen to see John and Jimmy talking quietly. You lean in closer to listen.

“The brick, my record and then…the picture in her car.”

“That’s it so far?” Jimmy asks.

“Yeah,” John replies and in the reflection of the oven door, you see him run his hand over his beard. “Oh, and I didn’t tell her, but her tires were slashed. She thinks she just…drove through some glass.”

You watch him as he starts to smile a little.  _He thinks it’s cute…_

“I can extend my routes, make sure to drive past the shop a few times. I’ll keep an eye on her, John.”

“I appreciate it.” John reaches out to shake Jimmy’s hand and they turn to walk to the living room. You practically trip over yourself running back to the couch and plop down fast and flip through the magazine.

“Have you picked out bridesmaids dresses yet?” you turn to Tess as she walks back into the living room.

“No, but I have a few dresses circled in there, just a couple ideas.” she takes the magazine from you, flipping to a certain page and hands it back, then sits in Jimmy’s lap on the chair. “I think you’d look good in this one.”

John quickly sits next to you, placing his arm around the back of the couch and scoots as close as he can, once again avoiding all personal space. You glance up at Tess, she winks and slowly gives you a thumbs up.

“You’d look beautiful in that.” he leans down, kissing the skin that’s exposed from your sweater hanging off your shoulder. You tilt your head back and kiss his cheek. He stares at you for a moment, trying to decide if he wants to show you such affection in front of your friends. He smiles, then presses his lips to yours for a sweet and tender kiss.

“Thank you for dinner,” you say as you lean your head back on his shoulder, “It was really good.”

“It was?”

You look back up at him and nod your head as he leans back in to kiss you again, this time with a little more warmth. Intoxicated with one another, you don’t hear Jimmy and Tess talking.

“I have known John for a long time, but I’ve never seen him like this.”

“Never? Not even with…”

“ _Never._ That man is hopelessly in love with her. _”_

You flip through the magazine and land back on the wedding dresses, “Tess, I have to agree with John. I think you should get this dress.”

She takes the magazine from you and tucks it back in her bag, “Enough about us, how are you two?”

“Fine.” you and John say in unison, then look each other as you laugh.

“Actually…” you sit up straight and look at John, “I’m moving in. I don’t know  _when_  exactly.”

“Well that makes sense, you’re always here anyway. April wants to move closer to work, I’ll be moving in with Jimmy. He only has an apartment, but we’ll get house eventually.” she frowns and reaches out to grab your hand, “We’re all moving on.”

“Tess, you’ll live like two blocks away. And we work together.” you laugh and she slaps your hand.

Jimmy tries to cover a yawn and Tess looks at him, “Tired?”

He shakes his head and looks up at her, “We should probably go, I have to work early tomorrow.”

John gets up from the couch, turning around to help you up, and you walk with them to the door. John hears his phone ringing in the kitchen, says his goodbyes quickly and runs to answer it.

“Thank you for coming over.” you say as you hug Jimmy.

“Thanks for having us. Tell John the food was delicious.” Jimmy says, and he exits the house quickly to warm the car.

“Think he’s gonna propose to you now that you’ll be living together?” Tess ask, quietly.

You start to laugh and shake your head, “I have  _no_  idea. He’s hard to read.”

“I bet he does, Jimmy said he’s never seen him like this before. Not even with…” her voice trails off and you stare at each other.

You clear your throat and look down, “Different circumstances, I think.”

John pokes his head from around the corner and calls to you, “Baby, come here. Tess, don’t leave yet.”

You quickly walk into the kitchen and see John writing a check. “What are you doing?”

“I think we should give them money as a wedding gift. It’ll help them out. I know Jimmy doesn’t make that much.”

“John, you usually give people a wedding gift  _after_  they get married.”

“Well,” he scribbles his name across the check and hands it to you, “It’s an early wedding gift then. We’ll buy them…a toaster after they get married.”

“Are you sure?” you look down at the check and almost faint, “Ten thousand dollars? John, are you kidding?” you try to keep your voice quiet, hoping Tess won’t hear.

“Is that enough?” he opens his checkbook and gets ready to write another, but you stop him.

You start to laugh and rub your forehead, “Yes, but…”

“It’s okay, we can afford it.” he says as he rubs your shoulder.

“We? John, this is  _your_  money.” you say as you hand the check back to him, but he refuses to take it.

“Ours.”

You open your mouth to argue with him, but he spins you around and pushes you back out to Tess. You hand the check back to him and he laughs.

“Hey, this is just a little gift from us to you and Jimmy.” he says as he hands it to her.

She starts to tear up and shakes her head, trying to hand it back to John, “We can’t take this.”

You shove her hand back into her chest and laugh, “Trust me, he won’t take it back.”

She hugs John tight and kisses him on the cheek. “Thank you, you have no idea how much this will help us.” she reaches out and hugs you before running and screaming to the car.

John locks the door behind her and turns around as you make your way back to the kitchen. You barely make it in the kitchen before you feel his arms wrap around you.

“You don’t know when you’re moving in?” he asks, lifting you up onto the counter.

“No.” you reply as you scoot back on the counter.

He starts to frown a little and leans against the counter across from you, crossing his arms over his chest, “Why not?”

You start to laugh and shrug, “I don’t know. When do you want me to move in?”

“Right now.” he looks at you and doesn’t blink when your gazes meet. “Let’s go get your stuff.” he jokes and starts to leave the kitchen.

You stretch your legs out, stopping him and he grabs your feet, pulling your shoes off and drops them to the floor. John’s wraps his hands around your ankles and pulls you closer, and you close your eyes as his hands move up your legs, inching their way to your thighs. You feel him spread your legs and stand between them as he slowly pulls you even closer. His hands slide up your thighs and under your skirt, and he begins tugging at the thin lace of your underwear.

“John,” you pull back and raise an eyebrow at him, “What are you doing?”

He ignores you and begins nipping and kissing at your neck as his hand gently caresses your breast, “I want you.”

The words sound like honey dripping from his lips, and you can’t help but give in to him. He pulls back to look at you, checking for your reaction. You hop down from the counter and back out of the kitchen, watching as he follows you. You stop long enough to remove your sweater and to let him catch up, then you reach up leaving a feather light kiss on his lips.

“You want me?” you say as you pull his shirt over his head and toss it to the floor.

He bites his lip and leans forward to kiss you as you start to unbuckle his pants and slide them down, along with his boxers. You stumble back against the wall and duck under his arm to get away.

“Gotta make you work for it.” you say as start walking up the stairs.

As you get to the second set of stairs, you turn around, and he watches as you sit down and slide your underwear off. You throw them to him and turn around, kneeling on the stairs and hear him let out of small moan when you shake your ass a little bit.

From over your shoulder, you catch a glimpse of him slowly stroking himself as he watches you. You feel your bra loosen and look up to find him standing over you, unhooking it and throwing it over the banister. He wraps an arm around your stomach and pulls you up, carrying you to his room. You lay on your stomach and watch as he quickly closes the curtains, turns off the lamp, and lights a few candles, brightening the room enough so you can see each other.

You kneel on the bed and bring him in for a passionate kiss, causing you both to moan. You’re the perfect height in this position and he lifts your skirt, rubbing himself against you teasingly. He lays you down and crawls on top of you, staring as he unzips your skirt and pulls it down your legs. His cock is inches from you and you ache wanting it.

“Say it,” he leans close to your face, “Say you want me,” he starts rubbing his cock over your clit and you hum. “Say you want me to fuck you.”

You start to giggle a little and squint your eyes open to see John smiling. “You wanna fuck me?”  

He nods his head and leans down to kiss you, then pulls back, staring at you for a minute. “Do you want me to make love to you? I can do that instead.”

John always knows how to balance love making and fucking, it amazes you. He always knows what you want, and it makes you wonder if he can read your mind sometimes. He rubs himself against you again and you arch your back.

“No…” you reach down, slowly sliding him in, “I want you fuck me.”

He closes his eyes and thrusts hard, filling you up as you gasp. You know you won’t last long, so you lay back and enjoy him on top of you. Big, beautiful, and warm. He thrusts fast and wraps his arms around you, lifting you off the bed. You wrap your arms around his neck and cling tight to him as his thrusts become urgent.

“I love you so much.” he grabs a fistful of your hair, tugging it lightly.

You mimic him and press your lips to his, feeling yourself teetering over the edge already and let a loud moan when you separate from his lips. His grip is so tight around you that you feel like you’re being crushed.

You put your hands on his shoulders and pull back to look at him, “Baby, you don’t have to hold me so tight. I’m not going anywhere.”

You know he’s not doing it on purpose and when he realizes what he’s doing, he loosens his grip. He lays you back down and slows his thrusts, hitting your hidden spot every time. You close your eyes as you feel the sweet release inside of you, and you buck your hips wildly and moan loudly as you come.

He quickly gets up from the bed and comes back with a warm wash cloth. He starts to clean you off while he presses kisses to your stomach, and you crawl under the blankets as he goes back into the bathroom. Your eyes are closed and you don’t see him watching you, but you peel one eye open when you hear him breathing hard, still out of breath. Reaching out for his hands, you pull him to lay next to you. You can tell something is bothering him, and you know what it is.

“John, _it’s okay._ ” you reassure him and tuck his hair behind his ear.

“I could have hurt you… _again_.” he avoids your eyes, looking down at your wrist and gently touches your bracelet.

“Jonathan, please. Don’t even bring that up. That was months ago.”

He moves the blanket down to check your stomach and lets out a sigh of relief when he doesn’t see any bruises forming.

“I’m sorry.” he says, quietly.

“It’s okay.” you reach up and leave a sweet kiss on his lips, “I love you. So much. So, so, so much.” you say as you pepper his face with kisses and he finally starts to smile.

You lay in silence with each other and watch the candle casting shadows on the walls. An hour passes before he says anything.

He sighs, pulling you closer to him, “I have to leave. There’s a job.”

“I figured.” you reply, remembering that he got a phone call earlier that night. You sigh, resting your head on his chest.

“I won’t be gone for long. Probably a few days.” he says, and you sit up a little to look at him. “I know, you still worry about me.”

“I can’t believe Christmas is so soon. Only a few weeks. I also can’t believe it hasn’t even snowed yet. If we’re lucky, we won’t get any.” you start to laugh and look at John.

“Are you going home?” he asks and looks sad when you glance at him.

“Yeah, it’ll just be my mom and her boyfriend. Oh, and his daughter.” you turn to look at John, “What are you doing for Christmas?”

He shrugs and looks down at your fingers as they twist with his. You feel your cheeks burning and you hate yourself for reminding him that he has no family.

“Maybe just make something for me and Bleu, and watch some movies. Probably work on some books.”

You smile to yourself and snuggle closer to him, “I have a better idea.”

“What’s that?” he asks with his lips pressed to your forehead.

“Why don’t you come home with me?” you sit up straight and pull the covers over your chest. “I mean, you’re gonna meet my mom eventually, right? Why not meet her during the holidays? The shop closes for two weeks and we can go there for like…two days. I can show you where I grew up. What do you say?”

“I don’t know.” he moves and pulls you between his legs, resting your back against his chest. You tilt your head back to rest on his shoulder and try your best to get a good look at him.

“Why not? You don’t want to meet my mom?”

“No, it’s not that. It’s just…” he bites his lip nervously and looks away from you.

“Oh! Your job?” you kneel in front of him and cup his face. “We can always go with the bookbinding thing. You had me going on that one for awhile.” you start to laugh and he looks away again. “Come on, it’ll be fun. We can get a hotel room, we don’t have to stay with my mom.”

He looks at you and you jut out your bottom lip, whimpering like a puppy and making him laugh. He pulls you back into his chest and kisses your forehead, “Fine.”

“Whoa, don’t sound too excited now.”

“No, I am.” he pulls you back and looks at you, “I  _am_  excited. I want to meet your mom and see where you grew up.”

“Good.”

He leans back against the headboard and smiles, reaching out to twist your hair around his finger, “Does she know anything about me?”

“I told her about you months ago when we went on our first couple of dates.” you start to laugh, “She knows what you look like. She said you’re  _very_  handsome. She’ll definitely mention your hair if it’s in your face. You know how moms are.” you look up at him as your eyes grow wide. “I…”

“It’s okay.” he starts to laugh.

“I can’t say anything right tonight, can I?” you lean against his chest and quickly wipe away a tear.

“Baby, it’s okay.” he shifts and spreads your legs so you can straddle him. “I can’t wait to meet your mom so I can tell her how much I love her daughter.”

“You would tell her that?”

“Absolutely.” he nods his head and leans in close to your lips, “I love you.”

You put your hand over your mouth as you yawn and watch as John starts as well.

“I think it’s time for bed.” he says as he holds tight to you and plops you down on your side. You turn around and he nuzzles into the crook of your neck, slinging his arm over your waist to spoon you.

“John.” you say, softly.

“Hmm?”

“The candles.” you whisper.

“Shit.”

You feel him quickly get up and blow out the candles as you start to laugh, and in a matter of seconds, he’s back to holding you; back where he should be.


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warnings:** None, just John being cute af.

In the weeks that follow, you’ve taken on as many shifts as you can, saving up for John’s Christmas present – a  _very_  expensive watch. He has one already, but you’ve noticed the wristband is getting worn down. You’re thankful that the shop has finally closed for the holiday season and you can sleep in again. John is away again, business in New York City and you’re desperately missing him, even though he’s only been gone a few days.

The room is bright. Brighter than usual. You squint your eyes open and cover them with your hand. You wrap the blanket around you as you walk to the window and pull open the curtain. Even though you’ve lived in the Midwest for most of your life, you still hate the snow and that didn’t change when you moved to Mill Neck.

You look down at Bleu and shrug, “Well, guess we got some snow after all.” you scrunch up your face and give him a thumbs down as he starts to wag his tail.

You walk back over and start making the bed, then head to the kitchen, grabbing your phone on the way. You prop your phone up to FaceTime with John – he insists on it every time he’s gone. You grab a banana and start to eat it when he answers. Your mouth is full and all you can do is wave.

“Hi, beautiful.” his voice is deep with sleep and he smiles.

You swallow as fast as you can and put your finger up, “Hold on.” you get a bottle of water from the fridge and crack it open as you sit down and take a big gulp, “Hi. Sorry, that banana was terrible.”

“You didn’t make breakfast?”

“Nah, it’s not the same when you’re eating alone.” you laugh and shrug.

“Bleu isn’t keeping you company?” he asks as he sits back in his chair.

“Oh, he is.” you move your phone to show John that Bleu is laying at your feet. “I just miss your cooking. And you, of course.”

“What are your plans for the day?” he asks as he sips on his coffee.

“I’m actually heading into the city today.”

“You are? Why?”

You lean back and put your hand on your chest, offended, “Oh! I’m sorry, Mr. King of New York, do I need your permission?”

He starts to laugh and shakes his head, “No, of course not.”

The sound of his laugh makes you weak and you start to laugh, “Tess wants me to come with her to help pick out Jimmy’s Christmas present.”

He sips his coffee and nods his head, “Where at?”

You bite your lip and shrug, trying to play it cool and not give anything away, “Don’t know. She wants to buy him some bracelet.”

That’s not a lie, but you can see John trying to read your face. You’ve already Googled it, and you’ll only be about 5 minutes from the hotel. As bad as you want to see John, you want to surprise him with his gift more.

“Oh! I want to show you something.” you get up and make your way to the living room, “Get ready to be  _amazed_.” you flip on the lights on the Christmas tree you’ve put up in the corner and turn the camera so John can see it. “Ta da!”

“You put that up yourself?” he asks and you flip the camera so it’s back on you.

“Yup! Did it two nights ago. Bleu was very helpful, of course.” you wink. “The house just needed a little holiday cheer. So, I went out and bought some stuff. I hope you don’t mind.”

John looks away and you take notice the frown on his face. “Oh.”

He feels guilty. You know it. You can see it written on his face, plain as day. John doesn’t need to work. He has plenty of money, but he’s never known anything but this life. Yes, he ‘retired’ for the five years he was with Helen. You’d never ask him to leave this life, this is who he is, but seeing him sad that he missed out on a milestone, no matter how small makes you sad.

“You’re working. Baby, it’s okay.”

“I know. I just wanted us to be able to put a tree up together.” he sits back in his chair and gives you a weak smile.

“Well, I got some good news for you. I can’t reach the top, so…” you start laughing and flip the camera back onto the tree. The top of the tree is bare, and the bottom half is full of lights and ornaments. “Only the bottom half of it is decorated.”

He starts laughing and you flip the camera back to you and watch as he perks up, “When I get home?”

“Absolutely.” you say and your phone beeps and you see Tess is texting you, letting you know she’s on her way. “Baby, I gotta go. I’ll talk to you later, okay? Remember we’re visiting my family in a few days, so try not to bruise your pretty face.”

He starts to laugh as he cheeks turn pink, “I love you, baby.”

You blow a kiss to him and run to your room to get dressed.

__

The drive into the city is long and stressful. You have to park two blocks away from the boutique, which considering the time of the month and where you are, it’s a pretty decent spot. You bundle up and link arms with Tess, trying to keep yourselves warm and walk quickly to the boutique.

When you enter the boutique, you take off your beanie and shake off the snow, and Tess immediately heads to the jewelry counter, looking at the bracelets. You walk over and see the watch you’ve been eyeing; checking the website every night to make sure it’s still available. You ask the salesgirl for the watch and look it over as she gives you the details.

“I’ll take it.” you tell the salesgirl, smiling.

“Holy shit, that’s what you’re buying him?”

You turn and look at Tess, growing nervous, “Yeah…do you think he’ll like it? I bought him a tie also.”

“Like it? He’s gonna love it.” she leans down to look at the price tag and scoots closer to you and whispers, “You realize how much it costs, right?”

“Why do you think I’ve been working so much lately? Plus, I’m living with John and he pays for  _everything_. He even paid to fix my car…and we were fighting at the time.”

She puts her hands up and backs away, “Okay…well, I love Jimmy a lot, but I’d never spend that much on him.”

You laugh and nudge her, “Yes, you would.”

Leaving the boutique, you stuff the bag in your purse and cling tight to it, praying no one has x-ray vision and can spot the four thousand dollar watch in your bag. As you make your way down the street, you freeze in place when you see John in a crowd of people crossing the street. He’s looking around cautiously, eyes scanning every person he passes, watching for any hidden weapons.

“Shit.” you quickly turn around, heading the other way down the street, “I didn’t think he’d be out during the day.”

_He’s not a vampire, you idiot._

When Tess finally sees him, she turns around and starts walking with you, “How did you even spot him?”

“He’s like…the only person on my radar.” you laugh.

“We’re like five minutes from the hotel, but how did he know you’d be here?”

“I told him I was coming into the city, but I didn’t tell him  _where._ ” you start to walk faster, hoping to get away from him, “This is kind of his city. He knows every inch of it. Maybe when I said we were shopping for a bracelet, he knew I meant this place. I don’t know.”

“Oh, my god,” she looks over her shoulder, pulling her hood up to hide her face, “He’s right behind us.”

“Think he sees us?” you ask as a hand lands on your shoulder, “Oh, no.”

“Yeah, I think he sees us.” Tess leans over and whispers.

He quickly pulls you into his arms and presses his cold cheek against yours, “What are you doing here?”

“Uh, shopping.” Tess lifts up her bag from the boutique.

“Ah, right.” he nods and leans over to kiss you, “I have somewhere I need to be, but can I walk you to your car? Wanna make sure you two get out of here safely.” he looks you deep in your eyes and know he’s on his way to  _deal_  with someone.

“Yeah, I think we were…going the wrong way, actually.” Tess looks around confused and winks at you when John looks away.

_Smooth._

Tess tells John about the bracelet for Jimmy, and he agrees –- Jimmy will love it. Walking hand in hand with John, you feel safe and warm and you realize how much you missed him already. As you get to the car, Tess hops in and starts it, warming it up.

“I’ll be home tomorrow.” he points at his face, “No bruises.”

When he points to his face, you notice his knuckles. Bloody, bruised, and slightly swollen. You inspect his face again, smirking when you realize he probably beat the shit out of someone, but they didn’t get a chance to fight back.  _He’s that good at his job._ You wrap your arms around his waist and feel a bulge underneath his jacket. A gun holster.

“Work.” he says, flatly.

You hate how much it turns you on and you feel an ache between your legs, “Call me tonight?”

“Of course.” he leans down and knocks on the window to get Tess’ attention and waves at her. Leaning in close to his face, you feel the warmth radiating off of him even though his cheeks are pink from the cold, “You should get in before you catch a cold.”

“I love you.” you press your lips to his a few times and back away. “Tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow, I promise.” he backs away until your fingers lose touch, “I love you.”

You get in the car and shiver –- whether it was from the cold or his lips, you don’t know, but you’re pretty sure it was the latter. Watching as he disappears back around the corner, you lean back and sigh, “God, I love him.”

“Ugh, you two are so disgusting. You’d think you were the ones getting married.” Tess jeers, then winks to let you know she’s joking.

You start to laugh as you put on your seat belt, “Oh, stop it.”

“Think he knew what we were doing?” she asks as she pulls back into the traffic.

“I don’t know. I hope not. I really want to surprise him.” you look down at your hands and start playing with the sleeve of your jacket.

“He’s going to love it. You could literally print out a picture of yourself and he’d cherish the hell out of it.” she starts laughing and looks at you, “You know I’m right.”

“Yeah, you’re  _probably_ right.” you say, squinting your eyes at her, “What are your plans for Christmas?”

“Jimmy has to work, but he has Christmas Eve off, so we’re going to his parents’ house. I really like his parents, his mom is amazing. She’s going to teach me how to cook some of his favorite meals.”

You start to laugh and look at her, “You’re gonna cook? I’d like to see that.”

“Hey!” she nudges you and laughs, “What are your big plans for Christmas?”

You exhale and lean back in your seat, “Well, John has no family. The poor thing said he was going to stay home alone. Can’t let that happen, so he’s coming home with me.”

“What?” she screams and slaps the steering wheel, “You’re taking him home to meet mom?”

You laugh, nodding your head, “Yeah, you think she’ll like him?”

“Oh, she will absolutely  _love_  him…and probably hit on him.” Tess says, and you start to laugh even harder and she joins you. “Seriously though, she’ll love him. I’m sure you’re aware, but he is  _very_ charming.”

“He is.” you say, nodding.

After a few minutes of silence, Tess clears her throat, “What about when she asks about his job?”

“Bookbinding.” you quickly reply.

She tries to hold in a laugh but fails, “Good idea. You can’t really just shove him in and be like ‘hey mom, this is my boyfriend. He kills bad guys for a living.’ That  _would_ be an interesting conversation though.”

You snort and roll your eyes, leaning your head against the window as you leave the city. The rest of the car ride is just Tess talking which you don’t mind. She always has good stories. They’re even better when she starts telling you things about Jimmy, things that would make his face grow as red as a tomato. How he dances in his boxers while he makes breakfast. Loves hits from the 80s. Quite the scatterbrain apparently, which is alarming, considering he has a gun hooked to his hip six days out of the week. Tess is quick to add that he’s a very good cop though, which is believable. He’s a passionate guy.

Tess pulls into your driveway and laughs when she sees Bleu in the window, “Someone missed his mom.”

“No, he misses John. He takes him for a walk every morning, I can’t bring myself to get out of bed that early. I’m going to take him for a long walk now though. Hopefully he’ll forgive me.” you laugh.

“Well, today was fun. Thanks for coming with me. Tell me all about your trip when you get back. We’ll have to come over for dinner or something.”

Waving at Tess as she pulls out of the driveway, you throw your bag on the floor and quickly leash Bleu. Looking back out the window, you shiver and grab a pair a gloves. You smile down at Bleu, “Okay, I promised you a long walk, so here we go.”

__

Grabbing the roll of wrapping paper off the couch, you head to your room. Bleu lays down next to you, and when you grab the watch from the bag, he looks up in curiosity.

“Think he’ll like it?” you look at Bleu as he reaches up to lick your cheek. “I hope he does. What about this?” you pull out the tie and Bleu leans over, sniffing it. “This is for him when we’re at my mom’s. I can’t just throw a watch that costs  _that_  much at him while we’re there. I know him, he’ll try to give it back to me.”

You carefully wrap them and try to find a place to hide them. “Where should I hide them?” you turn around and look at Bleu. “Here?” you point at your underwear drawer and Bleu barks. “Okay.” you tuck them under your underwear in the back corner. “He doesn’t go in here anyway.”

Your phone starts to ring and you hop on the bed, laying down next to Bleu and point the camera towards him. Lifting Bleu’s paw, you wave at John, “Hi, daddy.”

“Oh, hi, Bleu.” John answers and starts to laugh, “Where is your momma?”

You watch Bleu tilt his head as John talks, and you try your best to put on a silly voice as you talk, “I don’t know. I think she left the country.”

John starts to laugh even harder, “And she left you there alone? Not very responsible.”

“Hey!” you point the camera back to you and start to laugh, “I am definitely a responsible mother. I took him for a very long walk this afternoon. Even chased him around the yard a little, in the snow might I add…” you lean over and give Bleu a big kiss.

“I know I just saw you, but I miss you already.” he picks up his phone as he lays down in his bed.

“I miss you more.” you throw the wrapping paper to the floor, and John gives you a curious look.

“What was that?”

“Uh…” you look around and shrug, “Don’t know.”

“You’re not a very good liar.” he says, calling your bluff.

You both start to laugh and you hold up the wrapping paper, “It’s just wrapping paper.”

“Oh,” he looks at you for a minute and his eyes grow wide, “Oh! So, is my present hiding somewhere in the house?”

“Who said I was wrapping  _your_  present?” you say as you raise your eyebrow.

“Okay, that’s true.” he yawns and stretches, causing you to yawn. “You tired too?”

You nod and lay back in your bed, “Yeah, I had a long day. I’m gonna go to bed soon.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“You promise?” you raise your eyebrows.

“I promise.” he blows a kiss to the camera and waves. “Goodbye, love.”

“Bye, baby.” you pucker your lips and wave.

__

You feel fingers brush up your spine and you smile to yourself. They’re feather light as they trail up your cheekbone and push your hair out of your face. Soft lips press against your head and the bed shifts a little as you open your eyes to see John laying down next to you. Closing your eyes again, you snuggle close to him and instantly fall back asleep as his arms wrap around you.

When you wake up again, you find John sitting on the couch in the living room. He hears your feet on the floor and closes his book, turning around as you make your way to the couch, “Hey.”

You sit next to him as he wraps you in a blanket, “Hi.”

Pulling your knees to your chest, you shiver and he puts his arm around you, rubbing your arm to warm you up. You want to crawl under his t-shirt and feel his warm skin against yours, but you stop yourself.

“I think we need to turn the heat up.” you say as you pull the sleeves of your sweater over your hands. “Or I could just be extra cold because you weren’t sleeping with me these past few nights.”

“It’s not that cold.” he says, laughing.

“You’re hot, all the time.” you say, rolling your eyes when you catch him smirking.

“We can turn the heat up.” he looks out the window as the snow falls.

“Ugh.” you scrunch up your face and he turns back to you.

“You hate snow?” he asks, pulling you closer when he sees your teeth chattering.

“Yeah, I never should have moved here. Should have moved somewhere warm like California.”

He frowns a little and moves your feet in between his legs to warm them up, “We wouldn’t have met if you moved to California.”

You roll your eyes and smirk, “True.”

He leans close to kiss you, but pulls back when you shiver again. He quickly stands and turns the heat up. When he sits back down, you notice a gash on his hairline.

“Oh, no!” you frantically move his hair out of the way and press a soft kiss to it.

“It’s okay, my hair covers it.” he pats his hair over it and looks at you, giving you an apologetic smile.

“Who did this to you? I’m gonna go talk to them.” you shake your first in the air jokingly, and he laughs loudly.

“It’s okay, I took care of him.” he looks up at you, checking your face for your reaction.

You bite your lip and lean in close to his face, “Of course you did. We should probably clean that cut though.”

“You did a nice job with the tree…the bottom half anyway.” he starts to laugh and gets up to look at it.

Grabbing some ornaments from the box, you hand them to John and he hangs them at the top. He strings lights around the top half and wraps your legs around his waist to lift you up, putting the star on top of the tree. He wraps his arms around you from behind and presses a kiss to your temple as you marvel at your work.

“Looks good.” he starts to laugh and whistles for Bleu, “Sit down in front of it with Bleu, I want a picture.”

You roll your eyes and he starts to pout a little. “Are you serious?”

“Please.” he clasps his hands together and starts to beg, “Please.”

“Fine…” you lean forward, almost kissing him. “Only because you’re so cute.”

You sit down on the floor with Bleu and hug him tight as John takes a picture. He looks at it and smiles wide.

“One more.” he sits next to you and Bleu. You lean your head on his shoulder and he takes a picture of the three of you. “Perfect. That is definitely going to be my new background on my phone.”

“Oh, those aren’t bad.” you say as you look at them with John.

Leaning over, he presses a quick kiss to your cheek and helps you stand up. “So, do we need to buy your mom a gift? We can go out and get something.”

“We don’t really do presents, but if you want to buy her something, you can.” you look up at him and smirk, “You just want to make a good impression, don’t you?”

He chuckles as he makes his way up the stairs to your room, “Of course.”

You push him to sit down on the bed and he grabs your hand to stop you. You turn back around and look at him, “What?”

“I haven’t kissed you yet.” he puts his hands on your hips and puckers.

“Oh!” you straddle him and slowly push him down on the bed. You press a kiss to his lips; once, twice, three times. “I missed you.”

“I missed you more.” he says as he presses another kiss to your lips.

“Eh, not possible.” you notice the cut on his forehead again and get up to grab the first aid kit from the linen closet. You pat at his cut with cotton swab and he winces. “Sorry, baby.” you spread some antibiotic cream on it and press a small bandage over it. “There.” you lean down to kiss it, lingering to inhale the smell of his shampoo.

“Thanks, doc.” he laughs as you leave to put away the first aid kit.

You hear him opening a drawer from the bathroom and run back out, “Don’t you dare!”

He freezes in place and starts to laugh, “What? We have to start packing.”

“Back away from my underwear drawer.” you point at him.

The smile on his face grows as he slowly pulls it open and reaches in.

“Jonathan!” you stomp your foot and he starts to laugh even harder.

“Is there something in here? Something you don’t want me to see?”

“Yup, got a vibrator in there…” you fidget and start picking at your nails.

“No, you don’t.” he says as he shakes his head. He watches your face grow sad as he opens it further and he slams it shut, “Okay, I’m done teasing you.”

“We do need to pack though.” you walk over and plop down next to Bleu on the bed. “Oh, my god! What are we going to do with Bleu?” you lay your head on Bleu’s belly and he rolls over as John sits next to him to pet him.

“Already called Jimmy. We’ll drop him off on the way to the airport.”

You look at Bleu and press kisses to his snout, “I’m gonna miss him.”

“We’ll be gone for three days.” John says, then looks at you and shakes his head, “I’m sorry. I know he’s your partner in crime when I’m away.”

You sit up and scoot closer to John as Bleu runs out of the room, “Are you nervous?”

“To meet your mom? No.”

You smirk and raise your eyebrow, “I think you are.”

He laughs and his cheeks turn pink, “No, I’m not.”

You look down at his hands to check if they’re shaking and when he sees you looking, he holds them up.

“See.”

You roll your eyes and get up from the bed. You pull some jeans out of the dresser and talk with John about work while he watches you get dressed. He laughs as you wiggle into your jeans and reaches out to grab your ass a few times.

“We have a problem.” you say as you look through your closet.

John quickly gets up and walks over to you, bumping into you as you back away from your closet. He starts moving the clothes and searches the closet, “What?”

“I don’t have a suitcase. I have no idea where it even went.”

He holds your shoulders and looks at you, “How about this: we go out, buy your mom a gift, and get you a new suitcase?”

“I’m sure Tess has one I can borrow, I don’t need to  _buy_  a new one.”

“Yes, you do.” John says as he grabs your boots and hands them to you as he leaves the room, “Dress warm, it’s cold out.”

When you walk into the kitchen, you see John wearing a puffy navy blue coat. He looks so warm and cuddly, and you want him to wrap you in his jacket, even though you’re already sweating in your coat.

“Ready?”

He turns around and smiles big when he sees you. He walks over and zips up your coat, taking the scarf from your hands and wraps it around you as he presses a kiss to your forehead. “Can we take your car?”

“Yeah, why?”

He points out the window as the snow continues to fall and you scrunch up your face causing him to laugh. “You have an SUV, and that’s much more suitable for this weather.”

__

Walking hand and hand through the mall, you can’t help but notice people staring. You intertwine your fingers with his and cling to his arm with your other hand.

“Why is everyone staring at us?” your voice is quiet and he leans down to listen.

He looks around and leans back down to you, “Because…I’m with the most beautiful girl.”

“John.” you give him a blank stare and he laughs.

“People… _know_ me. Well, they think they know me.” he squeezes your hand in his and kisses the top of your head, “It’s okay though.”

You lean close to his face and whisper, “Oh, my god, did you bring a gun?”

He laughs so loud it causes more people to stare. He puts his hands on your face and pulls you close to kiss you, “No, I didn’t.”

“Can we just get the stuff already…so we can leave?” you start to bite your lip, and he puts his arm around your shoulder as you walk into the shop together. You freeze in place and he turns around to check on you. “John, I can’t afford anything here.” you look around and grab a sweater on the hanger next to you and look at the price tag. “This sweater is $100. Who spends that much on a sweater?”

 _John Wick does._  You’ve seen John’s closet, his shoes, his belts, the cuff links. He has  _very_  expensive taste – which is fine considering he can afford it. Growing up in the foster system, John probably went without a lot of things, so treating himself now makes sense. But spending that much money on a sweater you’ll only wear a few times just isn’t you.

He starts laughing and scoots you further in the store, “Stop worrying about prices. Now, what does your mom like?”

“Pictures.” you say, flatly.

“Pictures? That’s it?” he looks at you and stuffs his hands in his pockets.

“Well, no, she has a whole garden theme in her living room.” you start walking through the store and try your best not to look at price tags. “She loves pictures of flowers.”

John spots the home decor and grabs your hand, leading you to the pictures. He picks through the selection and holds up a picture and shows it to you, “This is cool.”

“It is. She does really like wildflowers.” you reply, and your eyes wander to the price tag, which he quickly covers up and starts laughing.

“Stop.”

 _“I can’t help it!”_ you continue looking at the picture and close your eyes, imagining it hanging up on your mom’s wall, “I think that would look good.”

“Okay, now I’m picking out your suitcase and you’re not fighting me on it.” he looks you deep in the eye, and you open your mouth to argue with him and he quickly kisses you.

You roll your eyes and sigh, “Fine.”

After looking at the suitcases and practically begging John not to buy the expensive one, he does anyway, and you head back to the register. When you turn around to say something to John, he’s gone. Spinning around and standing on your tiptoes, you look for him and when you call out to him, you hear him clear his throat.

“What are you doing?” you whisper to him as you get closer.

He doesn’t look at you, but you see a smile spread across his face, “You should get something.”

“What?” you turn and see lingerie of every style and color, “John, oh, my god… _no_.”

He looks down and his eyes sparkle, “Please, it can be my Christmas present.”

“I already bought you a Christmas present.” you push him back, and he frowns as you make your way back to the register.

You’re thankful when your phone starts to ring right before finding out the total of your purchases. You quickly answer your phone, just your boss wishing you a safe trip. You feel John’s hand on your back when you hang up. You bundle up as you walk back out into the cold and shiver when the wind blows snow in your face. John quickly unlocks the car and helps you in.

“I am so cold!” you yell as he starts the car and laughs. It sputters and you groan. “No, not again.”

He gives it more gas and leans back, sighing. “I’m sorry, I know you’re cold.” he pops the hood and gets out to check the damage. You hear him curse and you start to smile a little as he gets back in the car and pulls out his phone. “I don’t mean to insult you, but your car is a piece of shit.” he looks over at you as you try to hide a laugh. “What?”

“Nothing. You’re just funny.”

“How so?” he says, looking down at his phone.

“You think that saying my car is a piece of shit would insult me. It’s not an insult. It’s a fact. My car is a piece of shit, but I can’t afford a new one right now. To be honest, I _really_ don’t want another car payment.”

“I sent a text to Aurelio, there’s a truck in the area…it should be here soon.” he leans over and takes your hands in his, rubbing them to keep them warm. “Well, how about we go look for a new car for you?”

“Absolutely not.” you shake your head.

“Why? How are you going to get to work?” he laughs.

“Uh, a cab?”

“You’re going to take a cab to work every day? That’ll end up costing you a lot of money.” he points out.

“Fine, then you can drive me every day…wait, you leave for weeks at a time.” you look up at John, shrugging and instantly regret making him feel bad for his job. “I didn’t mean…sorry. Oh! I could walk. Get some exercise. Maybe get a bike.”

John looks out the window at the snow and laughs loudly, “You just don’t want me to buy you a car, do you?”

“It’s not your job to buy things for me.”

“But I  _want_  to do this for you.” he says, staring at you in your eyes.

You sigh, shaking your head, “No, I need to just suck it up and buy one myself. Maybe I’ll get a used car, the car payment and insurance won’t be that bad then.”

“Well, I don’t work  _that much_ in the winter, so until the spring…I’ll drive you to work when I’m not away. And if I’m away, I’ll leave you money for a cab. Deal?”

You know this discussion is far from over and in the end, John will buy you a car, whether you want it or not. He smiles smugly when he realizes he’s won.

“Fine.” you shiver and he reaches out, pulling you into his lap. It’s not the most comfortable position, but you can feel yourself warming up already as you nuzzle into his neck.

“I know you’re cold…” he stops talking and looks in the rear view mirror. “The truck is here, go get in it.”

__

You rip your coat off as soon as you get in the house and pull your hair away from your face, fanning yourself, “I’m so hot now.” 

You grab your suitcase from John and hold it above your head as you skip and dance your way up the stairs with Bleu. He leans against the door frame and watches as you dance around and pack your bag. You look up to see him watching you and you shake your hips a little more.

“Are you excited?” he starts to laugh and moves around you to grab his suitcase from the closet.

When he has his back turned, you quickly pull his gifts out and tuck them in your bag. You stop dancing and stare at him. “Wait…” he turns and looks at you. “How are we going to take my mom’s gift on the plane with us? It’s huge.”

“We’re, uh, going to take one of the Continental’s jets.” he says quickly, and starts to remove a shirt from the hanger.

“John!” you sit on the edge of the bed, putting your head in your hands.

He kneels in front of you and removes your hands from your face, “It doesn’t cost anything.”

You stare at him blankly, “I know you’re lying.”

He shakes his head and laughs, “It really doesn’t cost me any money.”

“Just gold coins?”

He starts to smirks and nods his head, “Yeah, and I have  _plenty_  of those.”

“That’s hot.” you admit. Something about his job always turns you on.

He laughs, then his face gets serious, “Listen, I’m not having this talk with you every time I spend money.  _Stop_  worrying about money. We have plenty.”

“ _You_  have plenty.” you correct him.

“No, we’re together now. I’m yours, you’re mine. My things are now your things. The only things I don’t want you touching are locked in a safe in the basement.”

You tilt your head a little; confused. It finally clicks and you nod, “Your guns, got it. I don’t really think you need to worry about me getting in your safe. I don’t have the code.”

“You want that? I can give it to you.” he says, genuine as can be.

You start to laugh, shaking your head, “No, I think I’m good.” you lay back on the bed and he crawls on top of you, pressing kisses to your neck, “I will never be used to this.”

“What?” he starts to laugh.

“I could ask for anything. I wouldn’t, but I could and you’d just give it to me.”

“Because you deserve everything.” he smiles softly.

You pat his cheek and laugh, “That’s very nice of you.”

“I mean it.” he leans down close and kisses you slowly as you scoot up the bed a little to wrap your legs around him.

Using your legs, you spread his legs further and he presses against you. You’re a little shocked when he isn’t hard in his pants so you wrap your arms around him to pull him down closer. “I love you, Jonathan.”

He smirks, knowing what you’re doing and lifts you off the bed, placing you back on the ground.

“I love you too.” he quickly spanks your ass as he backs away. “But you need to pack your bag.”


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Warnings:** nsfw

Hopping out of the cab with John, you walk Bleu to Jimmy’s door. John leans down and pets him a few times, talking to him and reassuring him that you’ll be home soon before the door opens and Jimmy ushers you in. As soon as Bleu sees Tess, he takes off running to her, almost ripping the leash out of your hand. You look over at John and he pretends to not be hurt that Bleu doesn’t seem to care.

“He’s in good hands,” Jimmy says as he turns back to John, “She’s been asking for a dog for weeks.”

You lean close to Jimmy and whisper, “Hope you got her one.”

“We’re going to my parents’ later, she’s waiting for her there.” he says, winking at you as Tess walks over.

“So, John, you nervous?” Tess asks and lightly punches John’s arm.

He starts to laugh and nods, surprising you, “Yeah.”

“You are? You told me last night you weren’t.”

“Well, I am now.” he starts to laugh.

“You’ll love mom, she’s very nice. They’re like twins. If you love her, you’ll love mom.” she leans her head on Jimmy’s shoulder as he wraps his arm around her.

You look at John and he smiles, “Should we go?”

“Yeah.”

“I hope you come back engaged.” Tess whispers while hugging you, and you nudge her as she starts to laugh.

__

“This is literally a hotel room, but in the air.” you lay on the bed and sprawl out as John watches you. “I never even knew that you could have a bed on an airplane, then again, I’ve only been on a plane a few times in my life and I definitely wasn’t sitting first class. And I’ve  _for sure_  never been on a private jet. So, how many coins did this cost you?”

He starts to laugh and ignores you as he pours you a glass of champagne and hands it to you. He watches as you look around the room. You reach out to touch the wall; it’s smooth and you can see your reflection in it. The sconces on the wall are beautiful and you’re almost positive it’s pure gold. You frown a little thinking about how much this would probably cost. Feeling guilty about John using his coins, you take a big sip of your drink.

“I can’t read your mind, so what do you think?” he asks as he lays down next to you on the bed and looks at you.

“I think…” you look around again, still in shock by how luxurious it is, “It’s very fancy, Mr. Wick.”

He laughs as you start to look around the room again and takes your drink, finishing it. “Think your mom is going to like me?”

“I already told you, she’s going to love you.” you sit up, taking off your sweater and folding it neatly and place it on your suitcase.

Out of the corner of your eye, you see John perk up a little when he’s sees you’re only wearing a tank top. You look at John and reach over to tug on his jacket.

“Aren’t you hot?” you say, rolling your eyes when you catch him smirking.

He gets up from the bed and cups your face in his hands, “I’ll be right back.”

You watch as he leaves and he shuts the door behind him, then you quickly hop up from the bed and check to make sure you packed his presents. When you hear him walking back, you stuff everything back and turn around.

“What are you doing?” he asks and finally removes his jacket.

“Just making sure I packed my toothbrush.” you smile and stand up.

He walks closer to you and raises an eyebrow, “Did you?”

His voice is so deep, and you close your eyes, nodding your head, “I did.”

You feel his arms wrap around your waist and his hands slide into your back pockets. Squinting your eyes open, you see John staring at you, “I’m not going to meet any random ex boyfriends, am I?”

“No. Why would you ask that?” you laugh and move to kneel on the bed. Reaching out for John, he stands in front of you as you help him remove his suit jacket and loosen his tie.

“Isn’t that what happens in movies all the time? The girl’s mom is always weirdly close with the ex and invites him to dinner, then things get awkward.” he lays down next to you and smiles.

“First of all, I’d  _love_  to watch this movie you’re referring to. Secondly, my mom has hated anyone I’ve ever liked, so that won’t be happening.”

“Wait!” he puts his hand up to stop you, “Your mom has hated everyone you’ve dated?”

“No, I said everyone I’ve  _liked_.” you laugh.

John lays back on the bed and puts his hands over his face, “Great.”

“Jonathan, you have  _nothing_  to worry about.”

“You just said your mom has hated everyone you’ve liked. You like me…” he lays on his side and stares at you.

“I do like you.” you laugh, “Trust me, she’s going to love you as much as I do.”

“Are you positive?” His voice is a little shaky, and you can’t deny how cute it is that he’s so worried.

“Ten billion percent. I love you, and she will too. But the  _only_  awkward thing that might happen…is my mom asking if you want to see baby pictures. If she does, please say no.”

“Oh, I definitely want to see baby pictures.” he says as he pinches your cheek.

You lay back and he crawls up to you, kissing over your stomach. He sits back up and grabs your feet, removing your boots and tossing them to the floor. You stick your foot in his face and wiggle it.

“You and these damn fuzzy socks.”

“I like them!” you start to laugh as he holds your foot in his hand.

“You wear those boots all the time, don’t your feet ever hurt?” he asks as he starts to massage your foot.

They do, they hurt. John is just so tall that wearing three-inch heels doesn’t make a difference, but you like to pretend they do.

“Yes, all the time, but they give me height.” you lay back, closing your eyes as he presses his thumbs into your foot, kneading.

“Barely,” he starts to laugh, pulling your socks off and drops your feet to the bed, “I think you shouldn’t wear them so much.”

“Why?”

“Because you’re tiny, and it’s cute how small you are compared to me.” he leans down to kiss your cheek.

“Tiny?” you laugh, “I’m only tiny to you because you’re like The Hulk. You’re  _huge_.”

“I’m huge?” he catches your eye and laughs knowing you meant the double meaning.

You watch him as he takes off his button up, and you lick your lips, “Are you…never mind.”

“What?” he’s kneeling on the bed and he looks gorgeous. His hair isn’t pushed back, but it’s neatly combed away from his face, and a strand falls on his forehead as he pulls his undershirt over his head. “Am I what?”

Your eyes scan over his chest. His tummy is so soft, but you frown when you see all the scars covering it, and your eyes trail back up to his pecs and his biceps. When he turns around to throw his shirt over the chair, you catch a glimpse of his tattoos. You’ve seen John shirtless _many_ times, but you are still in awe when you remember the tattoos covering his back. John catches you staring and you feel your face burning, embarrassed.

You put your hands over your face and laugh, “Are you part of the mile high club?”

He raises an eyebrow and laughs, “No…actually, I’m not.”

“Oh, please. Yes, you are.” you sit up straight and reach out for his hands, “You’ve definitely done  _that_ before.”

“I haven’t!” he lays next to you and rests his hand on your stomach to push you back down.

“How many girlfriends have you had?” you squint your eyes and turn to look at him.

“Two.”

You shake your head, “Nope, I don’t believe that. Try again.”

“It’s true! I didn’t date when I was in the Marines. Didn’t ever have time to date after that. Wasn’t really interested in it, so I’ve only ever dated Helen and you.”

“Really?” you start to smile.

“Well, I guess there was that one girl in Spain, and that other girl in Italy.” he leans back and starts counting on his fingers, making you laugh. He shakes his head and hovers over you, “Just two.”

“So, you’ve only ever had sex with two people? I find that very hard to believe. You had flings for sure, didn’t you?” you ask as John starts to blush and you feel bad at how intrusive that question was. “Sorry, that’s not really my business.”

“It’s okay.” he says, sincerely. “I’ve had a few…flings. If that’s what you want to call it. I don’t know. Nothing major. Nothing I cared about.” he pulls you closer, letting you know he cares for you deeply. “How many boyfriends have you had?”

You shrug, “What do you consider a boyfriend?”

He lays back and exhales, “I don’t know.”

“I had boyfriends in high school. Those don’t really count though, do they?” you look at him and he shakes his head as he laughs. “Well, I had one serious boyfriend. That’s it. Hmm, guess I’ve only had two as well.”

He leans back over you, taking a deep breath as his eyes flicker over your face, “How many times have you been in love?”

Your gazes meet and he almost looks worried. You stick up one finger and tap his nose. “Just once.”

“Don’t lie.” he rubs his beard against your neck, and you giggle.

“I’m not lying.” you laugh and push him away.

“You had a serious boyfriend before me, you weren’t in love with him?”

You frown a little and shake your head, “Nope.”

He closes his eyes as your fingers brush against his back, “Why?”

“Why did we break up?” you ask and he shakes his head.

“No, why weren’t you in love with him? You said he was a serious boyfriend.” he asks and nuzzles into the crook of your neck, lightly pressing his lips to your skin.

“I think…at the time I was. Well, I  _thought_  I was. I was kind of young and dumb. He treated me like shit. You know, he’d tell me to jump and I’d ask how high.” you rolls your eyes and laugh a little. “Tragic, I know.”

“Why’d you break up?”

You sit up and fold your legs under you, “I wasn’t what he wanted after awhile. He wanted…someone else, but didn’t have the decency to dump me.”

“He cheated?” he looks disgusted and sits up quickly.

“It was a long time ago.” you hop up from the bed and look out the window, hoping to change the subject, “Whoa. Look at the clouds.”

You feel John standing behind you as he wraps his arms around your shoulders and rests his cheek against your head, “Did I ruin the mood?”

“Of course not.” you turn around and run your fingers down his chest to his tummy and tickle him, making him laugh.

He sits back on the bed and hugs you tight, resting his head on your stomach, “You know I would never do that, right?”

“I know.” you cup his cheeks and lean down to kiss him. You crawl back on the bed, and he rests his head on your chest as you play with his hair. “I love you.”

He scoots up further and crashes his lips to yours, “I love you, too.”

He gets up from the bed, quickly shuts the door, and moves between your legs to unbutton your pants. “Jonathan, no.”

John stops and looks at you, “You don’t wanna?”

“I do, but…” your eyes dart around the room, searching for cameras.

“They can’t see us.” he starts to laugh, his hands are still on your zipper and he looks down, then back to you. “Are  _you_  in the mile high club?”

Your face starts to burn, and you cover it with the pillow, “No.”

He pulls the pillow off your face and leans close to you, “We don’t have to if you don’t wanna.”

“Are you  _sure_ that they can’t see us?” you ask and bite your lip nervously.

“Positive.” he moves back down to unbutton your pants, but waits for your approval. “Are you sure you want this?”

You start to smile when you realize he’s waiting for your consent.  _Always a gentleman._ “Yes.”

As he rips your jeans off, you pull your tank top over your head and throw your bra to the floor, then he hops off the bed to remove his pants. Watching him undress, your hand travels down lower, and he smirks as you stroke yourself and he takes longer than usual to remove his pants. You let out a moan and close your eyes when you feel his lips on your thighs.

“You’re so sexy.” his voice is quiet and gruff as he widens your legs, slowly inserting himself. He drops his head down to watch his cock as it slides slickly into your entrance and his mouth falls open. “Fuck.”

“Feel good?” you smirk and kiss his neck, biting and nipping at his jaw.

“You always feel so fucking good.” he lets out a moan as he starts bucking his hips. He holds tight to you as he flips over onto his back, “I’m not going to last long, I’ll be honest.”

“I’m that good?” you joke as you wiggle down onto his cock, feeling yourself stretch around him.

“You’re…” his breath hitches, and he lets out a moan as he moves in deeper, “You’re amazing.”

“Amazing? Wow. Thank you.” you laugh, and he starts to smile as another moan escapes his lips.

Placing your hands on his chest, you slow down and watch his eyes roll shut. You lean down and suck on his neck, leaving a red mark behind. He sits up, wrapping his arms around you and watches your face for your reaction. You nod, urging him and he wraps his arms around you tight.  

“Fuck,” you moan and wrap your arms tight around him as you crash your lips to his. You move your hips faster as he sucks on your neck, and you know he’s leaving behind red mark, but you’re thankful when you remember you packed a turtleneck sweater.

“I’m almost there, baby.” he leans back on his elbows and watches you as your hands roam over your body. Your legs start to shake, and you collapse on John as you ride him faster and slip your tongue back into his mouth. He slides his hand up your back and into your hair. “Come for me.”

Feeling his hands on your ass, you smile and close your eyes. You stop moving and open your eyes to see John looking at you, confused and wondering why you’ve stopped. You smile, biting your lip as you slowly start rolling your hips again, watching as his eyes roll shut and a wide smile spreads across his face.

“Fuck, like that baby. Keep doing that.” he says, and lightly slaps your ass. You let out a loud moan and cover your mouth when you feel him grip your ass tighter and start guiding you. “I can’t hold it any longer. Baby, I’m sorry.” he hugs you tight to his chest and his thrusts pick up speed, becoming erratic and he moans loudly as he comes.

“Oh, god…” you feel it rising in your stomach and cover your mouth, preparing for it to be loud. “Fuck, Jonathan.  _Fuck_.” your voice is muffled, and your walls clench and shake around him.

John watches you with a smile on his face, and you squeeze your eyes shut as you shake and twitch on his cock, holding tight to his shoulders. Out of breath, you lean forward and kiss him, then fall backwards on the bed. When you open your eyes, you see John’s foot in your face.

“You have sex with your socks on?” you laugh, “I’ve never noticed that.”

“I usually don’t, but I didn’t have time to take them off.” he says, still catching his breath.

“Well, you sure took your time taking off your pants…”

“Yeah…” he starts to laugh. He pulls your legs around his waist and grabs your hands, sitting you back up. You hug each other tight as you catch your breath. “Guess we’re in the mile high club now.”

You cover your face with your hand as your cheeks start to burn. “That is so embarrassing.”

“It was fun, I think.” he pulls back and looks at you, “Might be my new favorite thing. We might have to go on vacation more often.”

“Okay, yeah it was fun.” you say, brushing his damp hair out of his face, “Think we’ll be there soon?”

He looks at his watch and leans back against the headboard. “Probably two more hours. I saw a chess board out there, I can teach you how to play.”

Hopping up from the bed, you ignore him and look over your shoulder at John, then point to the bathroom, “I’m going to take a shower.”

You wave him over and he perks up.

“I’m coming.”

__

John stuffs your suitcases in the trunk of the rental car, then removes his jacket, “It’s warm here, and there’s no snow.”

“Midwest weather is…unpredictable.” you laugh and instinctively walk to the passengers side of the car. “You have no idea where you’re going, do you?”

“Nope.” he admits and laughs.

“Let me drive then.” you walk back to the driver’s side and try to take the keys from him. He tightens his grip on the keys and you try to pry his fingers open. “Jonathan!”

“I’ll let you drive if you can reach them…” he holds his hand above his head, and you try to jump as he laughs. You jump again, and he catches you with one arm and presses kisses to your lips before putting you back down.

“Fine, I can’t  _wait_  for you to get us lost.”

He sticks out his bottom lip and laughs, handing you the keys, “Here.”

You quickly get in the car and look over at John; his face has lost all color and he’s clinging to the door handle.

“Are you scared? I’m a fantastic driver.” you look down and point, “Put your seat belt on.”

“That’s reassuring.” he says and does what he’s told.

You lean over and kiss his cheek, “Look, I know you like to be in control, but I promise you’re not going to die. Which one is the brake again?”

John’s eyes grow wide and he looks over at you.

“ _I’m kidding_!” you laugh as you start the car.

__

“See, I’m really not a bad driver.” you look over at John as you walk into the lobby of the hotel, and he puts his hand on his stomach, then puffs up his cheeks. “You are  _not_  going to throw up, stop it.”

He starts to laugh and kisses your cheek, “Okay, you’re not _that_  bad. I’m better though.”

You can’t fight him on it. You could place two cones on the ground, tell John to park between them, and he’d fit in between them perfectly. John stops at the concierge to get your room key and smiles as he grabs your hand. Standing across the elevator, you stare at him and smirk.

“You’re getting even more nervous, aren’t you?”

He flashes a timid smile and nods, “Yeah.”

Walking in silence to your room, you turn to him as you reach the door, “I won’t lie, I’m a bit nervous.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know.” you shrug.

Walking behind John into the room, you watch as he locks the door and checks every closet, under the bed and behind the shower curtain. When he catches you watching, he smiles, “Just making sure.”

“No bad guys hiding?”

“None.” he laughs. “It’s a habit.”

“Well, I like it.” you say as you walk past him. “It’s hot.”

“Is everything about my job hot to you?” he asks and shrugs off his suit jacket.

You look at him, unsure of how to answer and your gaze drops to the floor. “Um…”

He starts to smirk, walking closer. “Be honest.”

“Yes, I don’t know what it is. It’s just hot. And like everyone  _knows_  you, knows your whole Baba Yaga thing you got going on. For some reason, it’s ridiculously hot that the hands that caress me…are the same hands that also killed people. Is that morbid?” you’re breathless, and you realize you haven’t looked at him once while you were talking. “It’s morbid. God, I’m a horrible person.”

“You’re not a horrible person, baby.” he says,, and you feel his hands on your waist. You look up to find him smiling at you. “Does it turn you on?”

“Am I horrible person if I say yes?”

John starts to laugh and shakes his head, “No.”

“Okay, well, yeah. It turns me on.” you say and squeal when John grabs you and lays you on the bed.

He climbs on top of you, kissing you relentlessly; all tongue and teeth, biting and nipping at your lips and neck. You both start to laugh and he sits back up, rolling on his side to look at you. You flop onto your stomach and smile when you feel John’s hands on your back, rubbing.

“Tomorrow.” you say, raising your eyebrows.

“I know, I just hope your mom likes me.”

“She’s gonna love you.” you bury your face in the bed as you yawn.

“Should we just order some food and watch a movie?” he asks, brushing your hair out of your face.

“Yeah.” your voice is quiet as you start to fall asleep.

“Why don’t I get your pajamas out of your bag and help you change?” he asks as he starts to stand and suddenly you’re wide awake.

“Don’t touch my bag!” you tumble to the floor, slamming your hand against your suitcase.

John laughs as he helps you back up, “You really don’t want me to see my present, do you?”

“You only have to wait one more day.” you lean up and kiss his cheek.  

“I love you so much.” he tucks your hair behind your ear and leans back in to kiss you, “Merry…”

You hold your breath and your eyes grow wide.  _Marry…oh_ _,_ _my god. He is not proposing. Not here. Not now. He can’t be. What if he is? Yes! Yes! Yes!_

“Christmas.” he quickly pecks you, and a cheeky grin spreads across his face.

“You ass.” you nudge him in the gut and he groans as you walk away laughing.


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warnings:** None but it's Christmas!!

After a twenty minute discussion, more of an argument on your part, John is in the driver’s seat.  _“We won’t get lost, I put the address in the GPS_ _,_ _”_ he told you, and you reluctantly handed him the keys. 

Pulling onto the street of your childhood home, you lean forward in your seat and point at the houses, telling John about each one. You know you probably look like a child, but John watches with a smile on his face.

“They have nice lights for Christmas.” he points at a house that has lights wrapped around every tree and silly blow molds of various cartoon characters throughout the yard. It isn’t even dark yet, but the lights are on anyway.

“Oh, no. The Moores. Doesn’t matter the season, their house  _always_  looks like that.” you laugh and lean back in your seat. You lean forward again and point out your window, “There’s Tess’ old house. Her parents grew up in this neighborhood. High school sweethearts. Her mom was actually best friends with mine.”

“Really?” he looks over and grabs your hand, quickly pressing a kiss to it.

“Yeah, they were inseparable. It’s how I met Tess. They both got pregnant around the same time. Tess was young when her mom got ill and passed away.” you exhale and sniffle a little, “And not long after she died, so did her dad. They were pretty young when they both passed, so…Tess actually came to live with us. It’s what her parents wanted. The rest of her family never forgave her parents for that, so Tess doesn’t talk to them much.”

“Wow, I didn’t know that. Makes sense why you two are so close."

"I never told you?" you furrow your brow, and he shakes his head. "Huh, I guess i just assume everyone  _knows."_

"Well, that was nice of your mom to take her in. What about April?”  

“We met her in high school. The three musketeers. We never left each others sides.”

He laughs and nods, “I believe it.”

“That’s my house!” you can barely contain yourself as John pulls into the driveway. As he puts the car in park, he exhales and looks at you. “It’s going to be okay, John.”  

“Are  _you_  nervous?” he reaches up and brushes his thumb against your cheek.

“Yes.” you admit. “What if you hate my mom? What if she says something and it changes your mind about me?”

He starts to laugh and cups your face, “That’s not going to happen.”

With his hands still on your face, you turn and look at the front door, then look back at him. “Ready?”

“Ready.” he smiles softly and nods.

Holding tight to your hand, John opens the door for you. You reach up and fix his dress shirt, which thankfully covers the red mark you’ve left on his neck. He pulls back your turtleneck and smiles when he sees the few marks he’s left on you.

“Mine.” he says, leaning close to your face and you smile.

The two of you look at each other for a moment, knowing you’re both nervous. He smiles and gently pats your ass as you walk through the door. The aroma of food greets you like a warm blanket, and you instinctively walk to the kitchen, still holding John’s hand.

“Hello.” you say as you peek around the corner, and your mom jumps.

She quickly walks over to hug you and cups your face, “I have missed you so much.”

“Missed you too, mom.”

She jokingly shoves you out of the way and stands in front of John, “Now, you must be Jonathan. Wow, you are _much_ more handsome in person. And so tall.” she says, and when John smiles, your mom almost falls over. “Wow…I am just speechless. It should be a crime to look this good.”

You lean against the counter top, laughing, “Told you she’d hit on you.”

“I am not _hitting_ on him, I’m just teasing!” she laughs and nudges your shoulder, “You are very handsome though.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Ms…” he reaches out to shake her hand, and she laughs.

“You can call me mom, and we don’t shake hands here.” she leans in to hug him as he starts to laugh. “Oh wow, you have very nice arms.”

“Mom!” you cover your face with your hands, laughing.

John’s cheek are red and he turns to you, helping you out of your coat and removes his. You point to the closet and he hangs them up. When he turns his back, your mom smiles big.

“Wow!” she mouths.

“I know.” you mouth back, nodding your head.

“Go sit down, I’ll be right in.” she gestures to the living room, and you walk with John as she gets drinks.

“Look!” you point up to the mistletoe hanging above your head. John looks at you and peeks back into the kitchen, checking to make sure your mom isn’t looking, and he quickly pecks you on the cheek. “That’s all I get?”

He starts to laugh as he sits down on the couch, patting the spot next to him. You plop down next to him, crossing your legs in front of you and rest your head on his shoulder.

“Is this okay?” he asks as he puts his hand on your knee.

You nod your head and laugh, “Yes, Jonathan, that’s fine.”

“Do you always call me Jonathan when you talk about me to your mom?”

“Maybe.” you smirk and bump his shoulder with yours.

“It’s cute.” he laughs, rubbing your knee and leans over to kiss your cheek before your mom walks in.

“So, how was the flight?” your mom asks as she sits down in the chair across from you and John. You quickly look at John as he smiles, and you look at the tree to distract yourself from thinking about what you and John did on the flight over.

“It was good, it went really fast.” John points at you and laughs, “She is  _very_  good at checkers.”

“We had no other games on the plane, and I don’t know how to play chess. And I  _certainly_  don’t have the patience to learn.” you laugh. “Pretty sure you were letting me win though.”

“How is your hotel? Pretty crowded with people home for the holidays?”

“It’s really nice. Last night when we got in, we just ordered some food and watched a movie. I think I fell asleep not even halfway through.”

“You did. I finished it though, you didn’t miss much.” John laughs.

“Well, you didn’t have to get a hotel. You could have stayed here, I have plenty of room.” she says as she pours herself something to drink. “But I guess you don’t want to stay at your mom’s house with your boyfriend.”

You clear your throat and shake your head, “No, it’s not that. A room just came with our flight. I don’t know some sort of deal Jonathan got.” you feel John squeeze your knee, and you give him an exaggerated wink when your mom looks away.

Your mom stares at you for a minute, then smiles, “How did you two meet?”

“Mom, I already told you this.” you laugh.

“I know, but I want to hear it from him.” she nods to John and takes a sip of her tea.

“Well, we live across the street from each other,” John’s hands start to shake a little, and he clasps them in his lap as you get up to look at the Christmas tree. “I had seen her outside a few times and wanted to introduce myself, but I was too nervous.” he starts to laugh, and you look over your shoulder to see his cheeks turning pink. 

You snort and roll your eyes at him, “Nervous.”

“Hush.” your mom snaps her fingers, and John laughs.

“My dog. Well,  _our_  dog,” he quickly corrects himself, and you almost tear up. “He ran across the street and jumped on her. I thought it was the perfect opportunity to finally introduce myself.”

“You don’t strike me as someone who gets nervous.” she says as she leans back in her chair.

“I’m usually not,” he looks at you and smiles sweetly, “But your daughter makes me very nervous.”

“He’s leaving out a lot of details, mom. He took some of his mail and mixed it with mine.” you sit back down next to John and pat his cheek. “Sneaky. So naturally, I made an ass out of myself bringing it over because at the time, I had no idea. Made a terrible joke about his name, which he never lets me forget. Also, you made Bleu run up to me…he didn’t just _casually_  run up to me.”

John starts to laugh and reaches for your hand, “I just wanted an excuse to talk to you again.”

You look over at your mom, and she puts her hand over her heart, touched. “That is so sweet.” 

“He is  _very_ sweet.” you smile at John and bump his shoulder with yours.

“What  _is_  your last name, Jonathan?” she asks, and you freeze.

_Could she look him up? Find stuff about him? No, of course not. Don’t be stupid, she doesn’t even know how to check her email. She’s not going to search him. Plus, if there was anything about him online, April would have found stuff and told you when you first found that coin._

“It’s Wick.” you say, and feel John squeeze your hand.

You watch your mom as she mouths his name a few times. “Jonathan Wick, it has a nice ring to it. Well, anyway, you did what you had to do. There’s nothing wrong with that.”

John bumps your shoulder and you laugh. “See, even your mom agrees it was a good idea.”

When John leans over to kiss your cheek, you catch your mom watching. Your gazes meet, and she smiles tenderly at you. She slaps her hands on her lap and gets up from her chair.

“I’m going to finish dinner.” she excuses herself and walks back into the kitchen.

“Want a tour?” you stand up and reach out for John’s hands, helping him up. “This…is our tree. Clearly, I didn’t get my mother’s decorating skills.”

“Did you make this?” John asks and points to a pine cone covered in paint and glitter.

“I did.” you say, proudly. “There should be another one somewhere. Tess made one too. One year, we got super into crafts and made all the ornaments for the tree.”

You stand on your tiptoes, looking at the decorations and grab John’s bicep for support as you try your best to look at the top. John starts to laugh and stands behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist.

“You’re so small.” he laughs and presses a kiss to your temple.

Leaning your head back against John’s chest, you sway a little to the Christmas music in the background and smile. The lights twinkle, and when you tilt your head back to look at John, you see the reflection in his eyes. His gaze lands on your lips and lean up to kiss him, but he backs away.

“Let’s continue our tour, I guess.” you sigh.

You show John around your house, and he teases you as he walks past your school pictures on the wall. Leaving your bedroom for last, you close the door behind you, and he turns around, shaking his head.

“No.”

“It’s okay.” you reassure him and push him to sit down on your bed.

You watch him as he looks around your room, and he relaxes his shoulders, “So, this is your room?”

“Yup. Mom has left everything the same.” you open the closet and grab out a shoe box, shuffling through it as he looks around.

“Is this you and Tess?” he holds up a picture and starts to laugh.

“Yeah, 15th birthday.” you start to laugh and take the picture from him, “We thought we were so cool because my mom dropped us off at the mall. We got to spend the whole day without her.”

“You were a cute kid, look at your cheeks.” he laughs when he finds baby pictures.

You open your mouth to ask about his baby pictures and remember he probably doesn’t have any, which hurts to think about. He might have pictures from his time in the military, but you don’t ask.

“I swear my mom planted all of this, I don’t just have baby pictures around.” you roll your eyes and continue looking through the shoe box. “This is what I was looking for.” you pull out a diary and sit down to read it.

“A diary?” he asks as he continues looking at your baby pictures, and you catch him smiling when he finds one of you as a toddler.

“Oh, here we go. My lists of things I want in a boyfriend.” you start to blush, and John sits down next to you, trying to read it. “No, you cannot read this.”

“Oh, come on, you were probably like…14 when you wrote it.”

“That’s why. It’s embarrassing.” you start to laugh and open it again, “Fine, I’ll read you a few. My perfect boyfriend has to have…brown eyes.  _Always_  been a sucker for brown eyes.” you look over at John, and he opens his eyes wide, laughing. “You have very beautiful eyes, John.”

“Thank you.” he leans over, kissing your cheek.

“Oh gosh, he has to like Tess.”

John nods and laughs, “I like Tess.”

“He has to love me…a lot.” you laugh, “Well, I hope he loved me a lot if he was my perfect boyfriend.”

“I love you.  _A lot_.” he puts his arm around your waist and pulls you closer to kiss your shoulder.

“Oh, here’s a good one: he has to think I’m pretty. Gosh, I cannot believe I wrote this stuff.” you feel John staring at you and look up at him.

“I think you’re beautiful.”

“Well then...” you pretend to check off the page and close the diary.

“That’s it?” he tries to grab the diary from you, and you tuck it under your leg.

“I am  _definitely_  not reading the rest.” you get up and tuck the diary back into the closet. “You know what I’ve never done in here?”

He raises his eyebrows and looks at you, “What?”

“I have never…kissed a boy in my room before.” you stand in front of him, and he peeks around you to make sure your door is closed and quickly gets up to lock it.

“Are you sure?” he swallows and lays you down on your bed.

“We’re not having sex, John.” you say as you both laugh.

“I know, but I don’t want your mom to hate me.” his eyes flicker from your lips back to your eyes, then over to the door.

“She doesn’t have x-ray vision. You need to stop worrying about her hating you, she loves you already.” you scoot up the bed a little and wrap your legs around his waist, “Just kiss me.”

He leans in close and smiles as his hands slide down your thighs to your waist. Your fingers weave through his thick hair as you pull him closer. He lingers for a moment, teasing you, and you pull him down to your lips. You part your lips, hoping he’ll slip his tongue in, but he keeps his mouth close and you sigh.

“Really?”

He starts to laugh and rests his forehead on your chest, “I’m sorry.”

“You don’t want me?” you ask, frowning.

“Trust me, I do.” he stands up to fix his pants and reaches out to help you up. “You look so cute today in your turtleneck, and your jeans are  _so_  tight,” his hands slides down your ass and into your pockets. “Your hair is so soft and curly, and you look so unbelievably happy today. And that makes me  _really_ happy.”

You smile at him and reach out to touch his cheek, “I love you.”

“I love you, too. Trust me, I would take you on every single surface in this house…if we were home alone.”

You start to reply when his phone rings in his pocket.  _Work_. You leave him alone in your room and close the door behind you. Your mom is still in the kitchen, and you wander in, asking if she needs help.

“You can set the table.” she turns around and hands you the plates.

“Three plates? Dan and his daughter aren’t coming?” you ask as you place the plates on the table.

“No, they are.” she replies as she looks out the window, “They’ll be coming after dinner though.”

“Oh.” you huff.

“Be nice.” she says as she turns around and puts her hand on her hip. “You love Dan…”

“Yeah, I love Dan, but I hate…” you get cut off by John walking in.

“Hey mom, do you need any help?” John asks.

You smile when you hear him call her that and watch as he helps her put food into bowls. She gives him a taste of her famous cheesy potatoes, and he compliments her cooking. You can tell by her face that she likes John, and you feel your heart flutter. As you stand back and watch them, you hear her telling him stories about you from your childhood and you shake your head, embarrassed. John catches you looking and smiles before waving you over.

“Everything okay?” you whisper.

“Yeah, just Aurelio about your car.” he nods, starting to laugh.

“A piece of shit, of course.”

“What happened to your car?” your mom asks, and you realize you were talking louder than you thought.

You sigh, “Well, it’s a piece of shit and it crapped out on us the other day at the mall. Jonathan has a friend who fixes cars, and apparently it’s done for.”

“Oh. Well, how will you get to work then?”

“Jonathan. He’s just going to drive me. Or I could always get a ride with Tess, I never even thought of that.”

“That’s nice of you, Jonathan. To take her to work every day.”

“I don’t mind.” he says and leans against the counter next to you, wrapping his arm around your shoulder.

“Oh! I love this song!” your mom reaches over and turns up the radio, dancing along to the words.

John looks at you, laughing. “I see where you get it.”

“Oh, my great dance moves?” you ask as you dance away from him and over to your mom.

__

You lean back in your chair and puff out your stomach, poking it. “I am so full.”

John looks over, laughing and sticks out his stomach too, “That was very good. We might need to get some of those recipes.”

“She can’t cook to save her life, so I assume you’re the cook.” your mom starts to laugh.

“She’s not so bad, she’s made a few meals for me.” John laughs.

You roll your eyes and laugh, “Yes, John is the cook. He makes me breakfast in bed almost every morning.”

John widens his eyes, scared of your mom thinking about the two of you in bed. You grab John’s hand under the table and squeeze it to reassure him. Headlights shining in the window temporarily blind you and you squint your eyes closed.

“That’s Dan and Leah. I better clean this up.” she starts to take your plates, and John stops her.

“We can take care of this.” he says as he gets up and takes the plates to the sink.

__

“Do I call him dad?” John asks, leaning close to your ear.

You burst out laughing and shake your head, “No. Definitely not.”

He smiles and bumps you with his hip, “You don’t like him?”

“No, I do. He’s a good guy. He loves my mom a lot. It’s just…”

You get cut off when you hear your mom calling you and John to living room. Turning around, you wipe off your hands and exhale. John lightly brushes his thumb against your cheek and reaches out for your hand. Walking hand in hand with John to the living room, you start laughing when you see Dan wearing one of those cheesy light up sweaters with a giant Christmas tree and reindeer on it.

“Does it sing too?” you say as you reach out to hug him.

“You know it.” he pushes a button and music starts playing.

“We don’t need a radio. Just Dan and his sweater.” you laugh and put your arm around John, “This is my boyfriend, John.”

They shake hands, and you try not to laugh when you notice their height difference. You start thinking about how silly you probably look next to John, especially today since you decided to wear ballerina flats, which was entirely on purpose after the chat you had with John on the flight.

“And this is his daughter, Leah.”

Leah is pretty –- beautiful, really. Her crimson hair falls to her shoulders, and she has the most amazing blue eyes, which is rare and she never misses an opportunity to tell everyone. You watch her eyes bulge when she sees John, and her cheeks turn pink and she bats her eyes. She reaches out to shake his hand, and her fingers linger on his palm longer than you like. She stares at John, and even though his hand is firm on your back, you feel a surge of jealousy watching them.

“It’s nice to meet you, John.” she bumps into him as she walks past, and you try not to roll your eyes.

“Yeah, you too.” he says and watches as she walks away swaying her hips from side to side, trying to tempt him.

Your mom and you lock eyes, and she shakes her head, plastering a fake smile on her face. The one she always does when she is about to scold you. “Help me in the kitchen.”

John rubs your back as you stare at the floor, and he catches the look on your face and leans closer, “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.” you pat his cheek without making eye contact and walk to the kitchen.

Your mom places cookies on a tray and turns to you, “It’s okay. I can tell he’s a good guy.”

“I know, but we also thought that about the last guy I brought home and he cheated on me… _with_  Leah.”

“No…I hated him. He was an asshole, and you know it.” she laughs.

“True.” you roll your eyes and laugh as you lean back against the counter and see John talking to Dan, and of course, catch Leah staring at him. “You don’t like her either.”

“But I love Dan, and if I have to put up with her snotty behavior a few times a year, then so be it.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.” you lift yourself onto the counter.

“It’s a weird thing for a mother to experience, but…the way he looks at you. Like you hung the moon and stars. I can tell already, he loves you very much. We have that in common.”

You smile to yourself when you realize you’ve only been at your mom’s for a little bit, but she can already see how much John loves you. You look back out to the living room and catch John staring at you. He waves at you and leans back in the chair, jutting out his bottom lip when he sees you’re upset. 

Giving him a soft smile, you wave back, and he perks up a little. Your mom’s hand on your knee brings your focus back to her, but you can see John still watching you from the corner of your eye.

“You know I’ll need to talk to him, right?  _Alone_.” she pushes your hair out of face and rubs your cheek.

“Why do parents do that?” you cross your arms over your chest, “Always need to _talk_.”

“Because we’re protective.” she shoves a plate of cookies into your hands and shoos you back out to the living room.

You set the cookies on the table, and Dan grabs a few as your mom hands him a glass of milk. You look around for somewhere to sit and see the only open spot is next to Leah, and John quickly hops up, offering his seat to you.

“Can we open presents now?” Leah asks, not looking up from her phone. “Well…mine at least, since Y/N doesn’t do presents.”

Your mom looks at you as she rolls her eyes, “Actually, I was wondering if I could maybe talk with you, Jonathan?” she points at John, and he nods his head. “Then, we can open presents.”

“I’m going to call Tess. Just want to check on Bleu.”

You follow your mom and John into the kitchen, and they watch as you slowly put on your jacket, purposely taking your time. You feel them watching you, and you start to laugh. The chair creaks as John turns around, staring at you, and you can see how nervous he is.

“Just gotta…um, find my gloves.” you say, looking around as if you don’t know that you’ve stuffed them in your pocket. “Where did I…put them again?”

“Jacket pocket. Left side.” John says and smiles when you squint your eyes at him.

“Right.” you slowly pull on your gloves and fix your stocking cap in the reflection of the door.

Your mom taps her fingers on the table and sighs, “For crying out loud!”

“Okay, fine! I’m going. Have fun.” you smile as you leave the kitchen. “Oh! I forgot…” You turn back around and dig through your purse for your phone.

John laughs and pulls his phone out of his pocket, unlocking it and handing it to you. “Just take mine.”

“Okay,  _now_ I’m going.” you smile, and your mom shakes her head.

As soon as you close the door, you hear your mom’s voice. You start walking down the street to Tess’ old house, knowing she’ll ask to see it.

“Hey.” you wave and point over your shoulder at the Moores house.

“Hey! Oh, I see the Moores still live there.” Tess says as she laughs. “They’re still alive?”

“Yup, I think they’ve added some more lights too. Wanted to show you this though.” you turn the camera and hear Tess gasp.

“Oh, my god, everything still looks the same. Aw, I miss that house.” she starts to sniffle and then sighs, “Okay, put the camera back onto you before I have a meltdown.”

“How is Bleu?”

She turns the camera, and you see Bleu laying at her feet, fast asleep. “He’s fine. He has a new friend and he loves her.” she moves the camera down further and you see a small Pit Bull puppy, the spitting image of Bleu. “They’re best friends. Jimmy knew how obsessed I got with Bleu, so now I have my own. We can double date to the dog park now!”

“Oh, my god, Tess. She’s so cute.”

She flips the camera back to her and raises an eyebrow, “You’re calling from John’s phone, but I don’t see him.”

“He’s talking to mom.”

“Ooh.” she starts to wink and wiggles her ring finger.

“No,  _she_  wanted to talk to him.” you sigh, looking at your house in the distance and make your way back to it. “Can’t wait to hear what impossibly embarrassing stories she’s told him.”

“How’s it going so far?” she laughs.

“I think it’s good. Mom loves him. Dan and Leah just got here.” you huff, annoyed, and Tess catches it.

“She already hit on John, didn’t she?” she starts to laugh.

“No, but she’s been batting her eyes at him and staring. It’s  _very_  annoying.” you stand at the end of the driveway and sigh. “I’m gonna head back in, I just wanted to check on Bleu. Thank you for watching him, we really do appreciate it. I’m glad he’s keeping you company while Jimmy’s working, tell him we said hi, by the way.”

“I will, tell mom I said hi, and that I’ll call her soon.”

“I will. Bye.” you wave as you hang up before stuffing the phone in your pocket.

It’s cold out, but you’ve only been outside for a few minutes, and you know the conversation between John and your mom isn’t over yet, so you stand on the curb, reminiscing. As the sun sets, you watch the street lights come on. One by one, the Christmas lights on the street turn on, and you watch them with a smile on your face. You hear the front of your house close and turn around to see John making his way down the driveway.

“Hey.” you turn around and look back at the lights.

John grabs you by the shoulders and spins you around to face him. He stares at you for a moment as he cups your cheeks. His lips crash against yours, and his tongue pushes past your lips and into your mouth. 

Butterflies fill your stomach, and you feel yourself turning into putty, so you grab his waist to keep yourself from falling to the ground. Your hands trail up his chest and you wrap your arms around his neck as he lifts you up slightly. He pulls back and smiles before putting you back onto the ground.

“I love you, you know that?” he cups your face again and brushes his nose against yours.

Looking down at your feet, you nod, “Yeah…”

“No, I want to hear you say it.” his voice is deep, trying to be demanding, but he laughs.

You look up at him and smile, “I know you love me.”

“Good.” he leans down and kisses you again, then kisses your nose. “Your nose is cold.”

“Yeah, I wanted to show Tess her house.” you bury your face in his chest, he’s warm and he wraps his arms around you tighter.

“How is Bleu?”

“Good, he made a new friend. Tess got her puppy.” you laugh.

A snowflake lands on your forehead and John starts to laugh, “It’s snowing.”

“I can see that.” you laugh as the snow starts to fall and it peppers his hair.

It’s a good downpour, and the snowflakes are fluffy and big. You shiver and John holds tight to you, lifting you up and walking back to the house with you in his arms. He sets you down and stands in front of you before you can open the door.

He reaches out and rubs your cheek with his thumb, then leans down to kiss you again, “I am  _so_  happy I met you.”

You squint your eyes and start to laugh, “What’s gotten into you?”

“I just  _really_  love you.”


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warnings:** None!

As you walk back in the house, you hear Christmas music playing and the sound of wrapping paper being ripped. John helps you out of your jacket and laughs when he sees your hair all frizzy from your stocking cap. You turn to the door and fix it as best as you can in the reflection. The sound of wrapping paper catches your attention again and you peek around the corner.

“Guess they didn’t wait for us. Oh, it’s just Leah.” you turn around and roll your eyes as he laughs.

“I love you.” he says, pressing a kiss to your forehead.

“Yeah, John. I know.” you laugh and he pulls back, pretending to be offended. “I love you too, baby.” 

He reaches out for your hand and quickly kisses to the back of it as you walk hand and hand into the living room. When your mom sees the two of you, she smiles tenderly and turns to face you.

“Jonathan, I hate to ask, but there’s a shovel hanging up in the garage, and you’re so tall. We’re supposed to finally get some snow this weekend, could you get it down for me?”

“It’s already snowing.” you say and reach up to brush the remaining snowflakes out of John’s hair.

“Yeah, I can get it, it’s no problem.” John turns around and heads back out to the garage, and you notice Leah hop up and head for the kitchen.

“I really like him,” your mom smiles and leans back on the couch, “We had a  _very_  nice talk. He thinks the world of you, and he’s a very good man.”

“Yeah, well I think he’s pretty great too.” you feel yourself blushing and look down at her glass that’s empty and head to the kitchen to refill it.

When you turn the corner, you see Leah leaning inches from John’s face as he backs away. She’s grabbing John’s shirt with one hand, her other hand is on his bicep, trying her best to pull him towards her. She’s whispering something to him, and he looks absolutely disgusted. You watch them for a moment longer, until you see how uncomfortable John is and start to feel bad for him.

You lean against the counter and slam the cup down on purpose to get their attention. They both jump and she stares at you, but doesn’t back away from John.

“Sorry, am I interrupting?” you give her a smile and raise your eyebrows, “The glass, it just… _slipped_ out of my hands. That was so rude of me…”

John opens his mouth to talk, and you shake your head. He’s staring at you and you can almost see his heart pounding in his chest. As you start to walk closer to them, John places both hands on her shoulders and pushes her off. He’s growing more and more uncomfortable, but relaxes when he feels your hand slip into his.

“He’s hot, isn’t he?” you say, looking at Leah, and you run your hand up his arm to his bicep, squeezing it. “His arms are  _huge_ , right? His legs are nice…long and toned. His lips, those are especially nice. You just wanna kiss them, don’t you?”

Leah shuffles in place, looking back and forth between you and John as you lean close to John’s face, inches from his lips. Right as he puckers, you back away.

“His voice is so sexy, too. His hair is like…perfect. And his beard?  _Amazing_ ,” you lean closer to her and whisper, “You should feel it between your thighs.”

This is so unlike you, but it feels good to throw it in her face that she can’t have your boyfriend –- for once. You feel a new sense of confidence wash over you when John wraps his arm around your shoulder, and he pulls you closer to his side, pressing a kiss to the top of your head.

Leah’s face turns red, and she gives an exaggerated groan as she stomps out of the kitchen and back to the living room. You walk back over to fill your mom’s glass, and John is right behind you. From over your shoulder, you see him getting closer and you know he’s about to apologize.

“Don’t.” you turn around and look at him.

“Are you mad at me?” he wraps his arms around you, and you bury your face in his chest.

You jerk your head back and laugh, “No, of course not. This is just…how she is, we’ll talk about it later. I’m not mad at you, baby.”

John exhales and closes his eyes, “Good…I’m so sorry.”

“Trust me, it’s not your fault.” you lean back to look at John, eyes fixed on his lips. “Let’s go give my mom her present.”

“From us.” John says as he sits down and pulls you into his lap without thinking.

She carefully tears the paper and you laugh, “Mom, you don’t have to keep the paper.”

“It’s so pretty though.”

“I have a whole roll at home that you can have.” you laugh, and John’s arm wraps around your waist and he rests his hand on your thigh, gripping it lightly.

As she rips the paper and sees the picture, she gasps. “This is beautiful.”

“You like it?” John asks, patting your leg and leans over. “I knew she’d like it.”

She stands up and holds it up against the wall. “Dan, I want it here. Wait…” she moves across the room to the other wall. “Maybe here.”

You look at John and tap his nose, “I got you something.”

“I did, too.” he says, tapping your nose in return.

“Jonathan.” you raise your eyebrow and slouch.

“It’s Christmas. Did you  _really_  think I wasn’t going to buy you something?” he laughs.

“Okay, well, me first.”

Handing John his gift, he shakes the box and raises an eyebrow when it doesn’t make any noise. You watch his face closely as he pulls out a silk tie, and his cheeks turn red when your gazes meet and you bite your lip. You glance up at your mom, who is still talking to Dan about where to hang the picture, then look over at Leah and see she’s looking at her phone, still upset that you ruined the moment between her and John.  

“I thought it would be good for…” you look up again and back to John as you lean in closer and move the tie around your wrist. Under your leg, you feel John growing hard, and he gives you a disapproving look. It sends shivers down your spine, and it’s satisfying knowing how hard you make him.

“Baby, you gotta stop.” he whispers, and you laugh.

“Business trips, I thought it would look good for work.” you wrap it around his neck and smile.

“Business trips? What kind of work do you do, John?” Dan asks, and John clears his throat, shifting in the chair a little.

“I actually track down hard to find books and restore them. Mostly Victorian children’s books, so I travel a lot.”

“Yes, he always like to look very formal.” you laugh.

“So, you like…put the books back together and stuff?” Leah asks, and everyone looks at her.

“Yeah.” he nods and laughs.

“You must be  _really_  good with your hands.” she winks, and Dan yells at her.

You stare at Leah for a minute and feel John tap your thigh to gain your attention. He grabs your hand and leans close to your ear, whispering. “It’s okay,” Trying to change the subject, he reaches down and grabs a medium sized box. “Don’t shake it.” he warns and sets it in your lap.

Carefully pulling back the tissue paper, you see the Polaroid camera that you’ve had sitting in your room for months. You’ve been meaning to get it fixed but haven’t had the extra money, especially not after saving every penny on John’s other gift. “I thought I lost this when I moved in with you.”

“Wait,” your mom cuts you off, “You moved in with him?”

You put your hand over your mouth and start laughing, “Yeah.”

She looks at you, then at John and shrugs. “Okay.”

You and John look at each other and start laughing. “You’re not mad, are you?”

“No. I wish you would have told me, but you never call me anymore.”

“Mom.” you start to laugh and she winks at you, letting you know she’s just teasing you. You look back down at the camera and turn it over in your hand, inspecting it. “Seriously, I thought I lost this. My mom bought it for my 13th birthday.”

“I had it fixed for you. I remember you saying you wanted to get it fixed. I snuck it out of the house when you were at work.” he digs in the box and feels around. “And I got some film for it, so I expect a lot of pictures of you and Bleu.”

You hold it up and look through the lens, “Oh, my gosh, I can see through it now.”

He starts to laugh and takes it from you, adding the film, “Mom, can you take our picture?”

She smiles and takes the camera from John as he wraps his arms around your waist. He tickles your side right as the camera goes off and you laugh, “Great, now it’s ruined.”

“I seriously doubt that.” he says, leaning his forehead against yours and smiles as your mom snaps another picture. You both jump and look at her.

“I want one for the fridge.” she takes it. then hands the other picture and camera back to John.

You lean back against his chest as he waits for the picture to develop. Growing impatient, he tries to shake it in his hand. A Christmas movie is playing on the TV, and you find yourself falling asleep in John’s lap. You shift a little and snuggle into the crook of John’s neck. When the picture finally develops, he squeezes your leg to get your attention.

“You look so happy.” he says, quietly. 

“I am.” you look at him and smile before laying back against his chest. You try to hide a yawn and shiver.

“You getting tired?” he checks his watch and looks back at you as you nod your head. “We can leave soon, if you want.”

You twist your fingers with his, and as you kiss his cheek, you catch Leah watching. He bounces you on his knee a few times but stops when he sees your breasts bouncing in your shirt. He licks his lips and laughs a little as he looks up at you.

“No, we can stay a little longer.” you sigh.

“What’s wrong?” he asks, and you stare at him for a few seconds before looking down at his lips. Your tongue pokes out of your mouth a little to moisten your lips, and he starts to smirk. “Oh.”

“Please.” you whisper and frown a bit.

“Are you sure she’s not going to care?”

You pull back, gesturing to yourself, “I’m literally in your lap right now. She’s not going to care.”

John licks his lips and smiles, making his lips so much more enticing and he knows it. He looks over at your mom and sees her talking to Dan, then over to Leah who is, of course, staring at him. He turns back to you, cupping your cheek and presses his lips softly against yours as your eyes close. He lingers for a moment and leans back in to kiss you again, parting his lips slightly and taking your bottom lip between his lips. You rub his cheek with your hand and press one more kiss to his lips. From the corner of your eye, you see Leah get up and walk out of the room.

“You just wanted to make her mad, didn’t you?” he pulls back and laughs.

“Yeah, pretty much. You’re  _my_  man.” you shrug.

“I am.” he kisses your cheek and holds you tighter.

“But…I also _really_  wanted to kiss you.” you say as you rest your forehead against his.

You yawn again and it causes John to yawn too. Your mom looks over and starts to laugh. “You two are probably tired, aren’t you? What’s the time difference?”

“Only an hour, but we’d definitely be in bed by now.” you reach out and grab John’s watch, checking the time.

“You should probably head out, the traffic downtown will probably be horrible.” she stands and heads into the kitchen to pack some food.

You groan and stand up, “I didn’t even think about that. We really should go now.”

John gathers your stuff and helps you put on your coat. He shakes hands with Dan, then turns to your mom and reaches out to hug her. “It was really nice meeting you.”

She hugs him tight and sniffles a little, “Jonathan, I know you will, but  _please_ take care of her. I worry about her being so far from home. I don’t get to talk to her every day anymore, and I miss my baby.”

You start to tear up watching them, realizing how much you miss your mom, and you quickly wipe away a tear as it falls onto your cheek. John leans in closer and whispers something to her that you can’t hear.

_Interesting…_

He turns and wraps his arm around your shoulders, pulling you close to him, “I love her very much, I promise I’ll _always_  take care of her.”

“And you,” she points at you and you freeze, “You take good care of  _him_. I like him. Don’t be too difficult. He’s a good man, and I wouldn’t mind having him as part of our family someday.”

The pain that you always get in your chest as you goodbye to your mom hurts much worse this time around. She cups your cheeks and stares at you for a moment as tears fill her eyes.

“I’ll try to call you more, I promise.” you give her a weak smile and feel your nose start to burn.

“You better. And tell Tess to call me as well, I need to hear more about this Jimmy.” she pats your cheeks and looks at John, “Is he a good guy?”

“He is.” he nods and laughs.

“He’s John’s best friend, he’s a  _great_  guy.”

Your mom stands back and looks at you, “Both of my girls. In love with wonderful men.” 

“Oh, gosh.” you say, still with tears in your eyes, “You’re so embarrassing.”

“Okay, now get out of here. I can see you’re going to cry and it’ll make me cry.” she leans forward and kisses your cheek.

The car is covered in snow, and John helps you in, making sure you don’t get too wet. He brushes off the car and shivers as he gets back in. “Ready?”

“Yeah.” you nod as a tear runs down your cheek, and he quickly wipes it away.

From the side mirror, you watch your house fade in the distance, and you feel John’s fingers intertwine with yours as you begin to cry.


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warnings:** smut smut smut

The traffic back to the hotel was lighter than either of you expected, which was surprising considering the snow. You stopped crying half way there, but John continued to hold your hand. He took a different way back to the hotel and drove past the shops that were decorated for Christmas, and he pressed a kiss to your hand when he saw you perk up a little.

As you stand in the elevator, you feel John inch his way closer to you. His hands are full with your gifts and Tupperware of leftovers your mom packed, but he leans over and presses a quick kiss to the top of your head. You shake your head and stand up straight, then shake your whole body.

“What are you doing?” he asks, raising an eyebrow and hiding a laugh.

“I don’t want to be in a bad mood, so…” you reach out in front of you and shake your arms again as he laughs. “I’m shakin’ it out of my body.”

“You are so fucking cute.”

You turn around and walk backwards out of the elevator, reaching out for his hands, but he shrugs when you see his hands are full. You reach into his pocket for the room key and he holds his breath as your hand dives dangerously close to his crotch, and you let your hand linger for a moment, slowly pulling it back out to tease John.

“Did it work?” he asks as he sets everything down on the table and you turn around, looking at him quizzically. He shakes his arms, mimicking you and you start to laugh.

“Oh. Yeah, I think it worked.” you slowly walk over to him and wrap your arms around his waist. “I have an idea.”

“What’s that?” he stands up straight, reminding you of how tall he actually is.

“Well, I still have another present for you.” you start to smirk and he pulls you back by the shoulders, leaning down so you’re face to face.

“So, the tie wasn’t my present?”

“Nope. I am going to change into my pajamas and then…” you turn around and wink as you walk into the bathroom, “Maybe I’ll  _give_ it to you.”

Exiting the bathroom, you see John on the bed flipping through the TV and he sits up straight. A smile spreads across his face when he sees you wearing his navy blue dress shirt. “I was looking for that shirt.”

“It’s my favorite.” you say, hugging yourself. “It’s always so soft, and no matter how many times I wash it, it still smells like you. I sleep in it every time you’re gone and it’s like you’re still with me.”

Crawling in between his legs, you take his hands and put them on your face. You watch his face soften, and he pulls you into his chest, placing a kiss on the top of your head.  

“I loved your mom.” he says with his lips pressed against your head.

“You did?” you sit back up and laugh.

He nods his head, “She was very nice, told a few embarrassing stories of your childhood. That was fun to hear. I definitely see what Tess meant when she said you two are like twins. I liked Dan too.”

“Did my mom hit on you again while I was outside?”

“When we were talking, she told me to start over because…” he starts to laugh as his cheek grow pink, “She was too busy staring at me to listen to what I was saying.”

You cover your face with your hands, laughing. “Yeah, that sounds like my mom. I am so sorry.”

“It’s okay, I was flattered.” he looks at you and his smile fades. “You miss her a lot, don’t you?”

You feel your nose burning again and you look up from between your fingers, and he removes your hands from your face. You shrug and a tear falls on your cheek.

“It’s okay.” John nods and wipes it away, rubbing your back and encouraging you to continue.

“It’s just…” you sigh and shift in place a little, “I’m  _so_  happy with you. I want to tell my mom everything, and it’s not the same doing over the phone or FaceTime.”

“I understand. I can’t relate to… _that_  exactly, but it’s not the same when we FaceTime, so I can’t imagine what it’s like with mom.”

_He’s still calling her mom._

You start to smile and tuck his hair behind his ear, “You liked calling her that, didn’t you?”

“…yeah,” he blushes and shrugs, “Felt like I was part of a family for once.”

“John, you are part of a family.  _My_  family. Me, you, and Bleu. We’re a family.”

“We are.” he nods.

“My mom, Tess, Jimmy…baby, that’sour  _family_. They all love you, and I do too. I love you so much.”

He starts to smile and hugs you, peppering your face with kisses. He tucks you into his chest and kisses your lips a few times before you sit back up. As you sit up, you watch the expression on his face change.

“I’m sorry about Leah. I would  _never_  do anything like that to you.”

“I know.” you reach out and pat his chest. “Did I embarrass you tonight?”

“No.” he shakes his head, smiling. “It was kind of… _hot_. Seeing you get all…”

“Bitchy?”

“No, not bitchy. You were protective of me, it was hot. I was shocked, you’re always so sweet, but fuck, it was hot. It’s always the quiet ones.” he winks.

You let out a small laugh and look back at John, “Well, I’d like to say that was the first time it’s ever happened, but it’s not.”

John looks at you, holding your gaze and you watch it click in his head. “It was her. He cheated on you with her.”

You shrug and give him a weak smile. “Yup.”

“I wish I knew that then…”

You start to laugh and lean forward to kiss him. “Why?”

“I would have said something to her.”

“No, you wouldn’t have.” you start to laugh harder, which makes John laugh.

“How do you deal with her?”

Looking down, you watch your fingers intertwine with John’s. His hands are so big compared to yours, and you start to see why he thinks you’re so tiny.

“I don’t know. I only see her a few times a year now. She’s just  _always_  been like this. Something to do with her dad and my mom. I think she believes if she acts like a child, she can break our parents up. She’s an adult…and that’s not going to happen. Dan loves my mom, and my mom loves him. Dan has always really liked me too, so…she’s always hated me. Which is fine, considering I don’t like her either. I never have. We got into a few arguments when we were younger, but after…”

“Yeah…” John nods, but he doesn’t make you say it.

“After all  _that_ , we just stayed out of each other’s ways.”

“What about Tess? Does she like her?” he asks and starts to smile, already knowing the answer.

“Oh, they absolutely hate each other.”

John starts to laugh, hugging you tight. “I thought you would think I was going to cheat on you.”

“Never. I trust you with my life, John.”

You do trust John, but you let your mind wander to that place for a second. John cheating on you. John with someone else. John  _in love_  with someone else, saying all the same things he’s said to you. You picture him on top of someone else, his hands trailing down their body, lips pressed to their neck. You shake your head, shaking away the thought and focusing on John’s hand in yours instead. Smiling at John, you lean forward to quickly kiss him.

“Thinking that someone did that to you,” he balls his hands into fists and shakes his head, “Pisses me off.”

“It’s okay.”

“It’s not,” he pulls you close and stares at you, “He hurt you.  _They_  hurt you.”

“John,” you try to stop him from going on, but he doesn’t listen.

“If I ever saw him…”  

“Jonathan! Stop. I’m over it.” you cup his cheeks and your gazes meet. His eyes that were once cold and vacant are now warm and calm.

“It still makes me mad.”

“Okay, well, if we ever see him, you have my permission to punch him. Deal?”

“Deal.” he pulls you in and kisses you quickly.

“We’re changing the subject now. Can I give you your other present now?” you say, raising your eyebrows. John smirks and nods his head as he starts to unbutton your shirt. You grab his hands, stopping him, “That’s not your present, you dork.”

“It’s not?”

“No!” you start to laugh and hop off the bed, and you dig in your bag and pull out of the box.

A smile spreads across his face as you hand him the box, urging him to open it. He shakes the box and looks at you as he rips the paper off, placing the bow on your head. You watch his face as he opens it and he looks up at you, shaking his head. “Baby…”

“Do you like it?” a smile tugs at your lips as you watch him, and you laugh a little. He looks at his old watch on his wrist, then back at you. “Oh, God. Did Helen buy you that watch?” you say as you point to the watch he’s already wearing. “I should have known, you always wear it.”

“No, she didn’t, but I can’t take this,” he tries to hand it back to you and you shove it back into his chest. “I can’t.”

“Why?” you sit back and tuck your hair behind your ear, removing the bow from your head.

“I know how much these cost. This is almost three of your paychecks.”

“It’s okay. So what, I took up a few extra shifts. You know…it’ll hurt my feelings if you don’t take it. I did so much research on it, tried to sneak into the city to buy it, but of course, you found me.  _Somehow_.”

“So that’s what you were really doing that day.” he laughs and looks down at it again. “I knew you were acting suspicious for a reason.”

“I was not suspicious.” you laugh, leaning close to his face to kiss him, and your lips brush his when you speak. “So do you like it?”

He finally takes it out of the box and takes off his old watch to put on the new one, “Yes, I love it.”

“Good. It looks really sexy on you. Did I do a good job?”

“A very good job. Thank you.” he runs his finger over it and stares at it for a moment before reaching under his pillow, pulling out a box, and you start to back away.

“No. Jonathan,  _no_.”

“Yes.” he starts to laugh as he hands it to you. “The camera wasn’t your present either.”

“Yes, it was, because I’m not opening that.” you point at the box and back away. He reaches out and grabs your hand, placing the box in it.

“Open it. I’m  _really_  excited about this one.”

Looking down at your hands, you see how bad they’re shaking, and you sigh, “You’re not going to take it back, are you?”

“No. Please, open it. It’ll hurt my feelings if you don’t.” he starts to laugh, then winks at you.

He looks so giddy and happy, and your heart melts as he watches you. You carefully open the box and instantly have to wipe away a tear. Pulling the necklace out, the diamonds catch the light from the lamp, and they sparkle. As you hold it up to get a better look, you see John watching with a smile on his face. He takes it from your hands, gesturing for you to turn around.

“It’s a journey necklace,” he says as he puts it on you, and you feel his lips brush against your neck, sending shivers down your spine. You lean back against his chest, and he holds the pendant in between his index finger and thumb. “Do you know what that is?”

“No.” you shake your head and smile.

“Well, there’s seven diamonds. Each diamond represents a special moment in your life or relationship. See how they get bigger as they descend?” he kisses your temple and points to the biggest diamond, the seventh diamond. “This is kind of like the destination, where you want to end up –- the biggest event.”

You tilt your head back to look at him, “Where are we now?”

“Hmm…” he looks back down at the necklace, thinking hard, then points at the sixth diamond. “Probably here.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.” he wraps his arms around you, trying to pull you even closer. His beard rubs against your face, tickling you, and he laughs when you squirm a little. “I’m sure you know what your mom and I talked about.”

Tilting your head back to look at him again, you shake your head. “No, but I’m sure she warned you about hurting me, probably said she’d kill you if you did.”

He starts to laugh and it vibrates through his whole body, “She did, and I believe her.”

“I know her very well.” you start to laugh and pull the blanket over your legs.

“She also told me that you said you’d never fall in love again. I know you said you weren’t in love with him, but you were.”

You sit up and turn around to look at him, “Looking back on it  _now_ …no, I wasn’t in love with him. Not after being with you, not after  _you_ showed me what it was like to be in love. I don’t know what it was, but I fell for you instantly.”

He starts to laugh and nods, “Me, too.”

“I tried so hard to get you out of my mind after I met you, John. I tried, but you were just…stuck in there, then that damn letter showed up in my mailbox.” you smile and watch as John pats himself on the back. “I never wanted to risk it again.”

“But you did.”

“I did, and I don’t regret it. Not one bit.” you look down to see John’s hands are shaking and you look back up at him, meeting his gaze. The two of you stare at each other and he holds your hand to his lips, lightly pressing kisses to it.

“I…” he exhales, his voice trembling, “I am so incredibly in love with you, it’s a very scary thing.”

“I know.” you nod, leaning forward to brush his hair out of his face as you inch closer to him. “I know, baby. You had it all, then you lost it. I’m so sorry you ever had to go through that, John. I can’t imagine the amount of pain you’ve felt in your life, but you soldiered on. If I could somehow go back in time and fix it for you, I would. I  _really_  would. I just want you to always be happy.”

“We wouldn’t be together though,” he says, looking down at your hands. “I would probably still be with…”

_Helen._

“I know.” you nod and tears trickle down your face, “I know, but I just want you to be happy. I don’t care if that doesn’t include me. That’s how much I love you, Jonathan.”

Staring at you for a moment, he reaches forward and wipes away your tears. He grabs the back of your neck, pulling to closer to him and presses his lips to yours, warm and soft.

“I love you. I don’t want to lose you.” he looks down at your hands as they intertwine, and you feel them shaking.

“You’re not going to lose me.  _Ever_. I promise.” you give him a sweet smile and straddle him, trying to get as close as possible, trying to become one with him.

The two of you cling to each other, trying to push away the thought of ever losing each other. You hear John sniffle a little and sit back to look at him, cupping his face in your hands. Your eyes flicker over his face, and you smile when your gazes meet.

He moves your hair off your shoulder and runs his finger over your necklace, “This looks beautiful on you.”

“I really like it. Thank you.”  

He holds tight to you as he scoots off the bed. You hop off him, and he sticks his arms out in front of him and starts shaking them. “Is this how you do it?”

“Yup!” you start doing the same, sticking out your tongue, and he starts to laugh. “Is it working?”

He catches a glimpse of the two of you in the mirror and starts laughing harder. “I think it is.”

“Good!” you jump into his arms, crashing your lips to his as he sits back on the bed. You pull away from him, smiling. “I forgot something. I’ll be right back.”

When John isn’t looking, you quickly grab the silk tie and head to the bathroom. You unbutton your shirt, putting the tie around your neck. The silk rubs against your nipple, and you close your eyes at the sensation of the cold fabric. You button the shirt back up and remove your underwear quickly.

You open the door and peek around the corner to see John has changed into his pajama pants, and he has his back turned to you, looking at his phone. His tattoos are almost visible through his white undershirt, and the ache between your legs gets worse.

“Hey, baby.” you say from bathroom and he turns around, looking for you as you hide in the bathroom again, “Close your eyes!”

“Oh…okay,” he squeezes his eyes shut and puts his hand over them for extra measure. “When can I open them?”

You tiptoe to the end of the bed and shift, unsure of how to pose. After a few seconds, you shrug and decide to just stand there, “You can open them now.”

He tilts his head a little and looks you up and down. “What?”

“Oh!” you wink and slowly unbutton your shirt.

With every button, John leans closer and you stop half way to tease him, shimmying a little. Waiting a moment, he looks back up to your eyes and smiles, nodding. Without looking, he reaches over to put his phone back on the side table, and you start to laugh when it crashes to the floor and he doesn’t even flinch. The smile on your face spreads when your eyes meet again.

“Merry Christmas, baby.” you say as you slide the shirt off your shoulders, dropping it to the floor, and revealing his tie and your naked body.

“Are you kidding me?” he swallows hard and starts to stand up, revealing his erection that’s growing in his pants.

“Well, I just thought maybe I should try it out first. You know, because you might not like it. The color isn’t that great,” you hold it up, looking at it. “It’s probably not the  _best,_ and my man deserves the best, right?” you rub it against his cheek and he closes his eyes. “What do you think? Does it look good on me?” you drop the tie and it falls between your breasts as you back away from John so he can get a good look.

“You are something else.” he starts to smile and reaches out for you.

“Does it look good, baby?” you smiling, burying your faces in each other’s necks.

“You are  _so_  good to me.” he whispers, and his lips brush against your neck.

You quickly remove the tie and toss it on the bed. Wrapping his arms around you, his hand runs down your back to your ass. He bites his lip as he grabs a handful and lifts you up in his arms, laying you down on the bed. He grabs the tie and takes your hands, pinning them above your head, and carefully binds your hands together. Before you know it, you’re secured to the headboard.

“Is this okay?” he asks, keeping his hand on the knot until you answer.

You close your eyes and nod your head, “Yes.”

He presses a soft kiss to your lips, and you open your mouth to taste his tongue, but he moves away. He crawls down and hovers over you for a minute and watches you squirm, wanting him. You hear him let out a small laugh when you buck your hips slightly, inviting him in. His breath is warm against your entrance, and his lips brush against your pussy lightly and you try to scoot down a little, but the tie around your wrists stops you. You whimper and he looks up at you.

“Can you stop teasing me already?” you pout.

He starts to laugh and presses a wet kiss to your hip bone. He moves lower again and rubs his beard against your thigh. He looks back up at you and you know he’s thinking about what you said to Leah earlier that night. He rests his head against your leg and slowly inserts two fingers, curling them and watching as they slide in and out. You suck in a big breath and arch your back as he pumps them faster.

John’s tongue lightly traces every fold and using his fingers, he widens you, and he presses a quick kiss to your clit causing you to moan. He takes a long look and licks his lips as he buries his face between your legs. You arch your back again and suck on your bottom lip to quiet a moan when you remember you’re not at home, and you’re not the only people in the hotel.

The sound of John eating you out fills the room, and it turns you on even more when you hear him moaning and cursing in Russian. Knowing he gets off on pleasing you turns you on even more and almost sends you over the edge. You moan loudly, not caring about anyone else but you and John. He pulls away to look at you and licks his lips, his beard is wet, and as he licks his lips again, he moans.

“You taste delicious tonight,” his hands are on your thighs and he looks back down at your pussy, “You always do, but tonight…even better.”

“I do?” you start to blush a little when your eyes meet.

“Yes.” he says and widens your legs to bury his face again, licking and sucking feverishly.

Flattening his tongue, he licks over your entrance and back up to your clit where he moves his tongue in a circular motion. You feel his fingers on your folds, spreading them to move in deeper. He flicks his tongue fast over your clit, and you moan so loud that he leans up to look at you.

“Fuck, John. Oh, my God.” your legs begin to shake, and you let out another moan, “You’re so good,  _so fucking good_.”

You hear him let out a small laugh, satisfied by how good he makes you feel. He knows you’re close, and he watches you wiggle even more, knowing that you want him unbelievably bad.

“Jonathan,” you wiggle your hands in the tie, “Untie me. Right now.”

“No.” he shakes his head.

“I want you.” you pout, and he starts to laugh at your weak attempt to get him to untie you.

He hoists your legs over his shoulders, and his hands travel up your stomach to your breasts, groping and rolling your nipples between his fingers. Moans escape your mouth, and you hear John let out a low groan and see his hand disappearing into his pajama pants. He lets out another moan and you watch as he strokes himself, and he looks down to watch himself for a moment.

You feel the tie loosening as you pull on it, and when you pull hard a few more times, it comes undone. You keep your hands above your head, and when John looks up, you smile at him.

“Having fun?” you laugh.

“I could do this for hours, you know.” he presses a kiss to your thigh, sucking on it long enough to leave a red mark, and you feel like you might melt into the mattress.

“I know, you’ve tried that before.” you smirk when he starts to smile.

As he goes to bury his face again, you grab his face and press a hard kiss to his lips.

“How the hell did you get out of that?” he’s amazed and looks over your shoulder to the headboard.

“I’m secretly an assassin.” you wink.

He stares at you for a minute then starts laughing, “You’re too clumsy for that.”

“Clumsy?” you pull back, offended, and you start to laugh.

“You tripped walking up your basement steps like, three times tonight.” he laughs and wraps his arms around you.

“Okay, name one more time that I was clumsy.”

“That day we took Bleu for a walk down by the lake behind the house, you stepped in a puddle and made me carry you back home.”

“That was not my fault. You were taking up the whole sidewalk. Try again.” you shake your head.

“Okay, the other day when you tried to make me breakfast. You dropped the whole plate of bacon on the floor. Then...” he takes a big breath and laughs, “You slipped on the floor wearing those damn fuzzy socks, but thankfully, I was there to catch you. The day you tripped over the laundry basket, you just laid there on the floor, laughing. It was so cute.”

You start to blush a little and scoot closer to John, feeling his cock against your thigh.

“Or the time you slipped on ice on the sidewalk, which was  _my_  fault, actually. I hadn’t put any salt out yet and you busted your lip open, I felt so bad.”

“Okay, so maybe you have a point. Anyway, you didn’t tie it very tight, I know you did that on purpose.” you give him a shy smile.

“Didn’t want to bruise your delicate skin.” he says as he kisses your wrists, and you feel his tongue licking the skin. He looks back at you and leans forward, pressing his lips to yours.

“I need you now, John.” you grab the neck of his shirt and rip it with your hands, exposing his chest. You kiss over his chest and he rips the rest of his shirt off, throwing it to the floor.

Your hands travel to the waistband of his pajamas pants, and you tug them down. He kicks them off and holds you tight in one arm to lift you off the bed as he rips the blanket and pillows off the bed, wanting a blank canvas for the two of you. You lay back on the bed, spreading your legs for him. His eyes are scanning your body as he crawls on top of you, and you’ve never felt sexier when you realize how much he wants you.

Running your hand up his left bicep, you rub your thumb against the scar on his cross tattoo, “How did you get this?”

He looks down at the scar and shrugs, “Probably a knife.”

“What about this?” you point at the scar on the left side of his chest.

“Knife in Rome. After I fell down _a lot_  of stairs.” he laughs and takes your hands, intertwining his fingers with yours. You pull one hand away to point at the scars on his stomach. He squints his eyes as he tries to remember, “Glass bottle, knife…um…I tried to staple this one up myself. The night I got Bleu, actually.” he points at them as he talks, “This is from a gun…rough couple of days.”

“Couple of days? John, you’ve had a rough life.” you start to laugh and cover your mouth. “Sorry.”

He smiles and caresses your cheek. You lean up and press kisses to all of them, then plop back down on the bed. You start to smirk and point at the red mark you had left on his neck.

“How about that?”

He shakes his head and leans down to kiss you. Lightly, he wraps his hand around your neck and rubs his thumb against the love bites on your throat and collar bone.

“How about these? How did  _you_ get these?” he says as you start to blush and go to cover your face, but John stops you. “I wanna see your face.” You wrap your legs around his waist and he slides in smoothly. His eyes roll shut, and he rests his forehead against yours. “Perfect fit.”

Moving in sync with one another, you grab at his back and feel more scars under your fingertips, wondering the stories behind each one. He rocks his hips slowly causing you to let out a moan. Staring at you in your eyes, his lips part, and you see his tongue moving in his mouth.

“You’re so beautiful,” his voice is so low and smooth, “The most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.”

“You make me feel so good, John. Everything you do, everything you say.” a tear rolls down your cheek, and he kisses it away. “What did I do to deserve you?”

“What did  _I_ do to deserve you? I’m the luckiest man.”

You slowly close your eyes as he watches you under him, and a smile spreads across your face. His arms snake under your back and he lays down on top of you as he thrusts hard.

Feeling yourself being torn in half, you let out a loud moan in the crook of his neck as your fingers tangle in his hair and your other hand grabs at his back, pulling him down on you even more. You bite down hard on his shoulder to keep yourself from screaming of pleasure, and he places his hand on the back of your neck, moving your lips to his. He parts his lips, and your tongues glides against each other as you lay your head back against the bed. You stick your tongue out further and he sucks on it, letting out a moan himself, then his mouth devours yours again.

Sliding his right hand down your thigh, he leans on his left side and pins your left hip to the bed. He pulls away to watch himself slide in and out of you, and he mumbles something that you can’t quite hear.

“What?”

“I said this is the best sex I’ve ever had in my life.” he looks up at you as he thrusts hard and watches as your breasts bounce.

“This isn’t just  _sex_ , John. We’re making love.” you joke and push the hair out of his face and he kisses your palm when your hand moves past his mouth.

“Then this is the best love I’ve ever made.” he looks you deep in the eyes and stops moving.

“Oh, my god, John.” you cover your face with your hand, embarrassed.

“It’s true, you complete me. It’s like we were made for each other. We fit together like puzzle pieces.” he looks down to watch again, and he moans when you open your legs further and he moves in deeper. His eyes rolls shut and hangs his head. He turns back to you and crashes his lips against yours, alternating between fast and slow strokes. “I love you. More than anything.”

You let out another moan and he smiles. “I love you too, John.”

“You’re close, huh?” he looks down at your stomach and sees your ab muscles pulling tight and knows you’re on your way to an orgasm. You grab at the sheets as you tilt your head back and start to smile as he eggs on. “That’s it, baby. Come for me,” he says, pressing kisses to your neck and chest. “I wanna feel you come on my cock.”

You start to smile and laugh a little watching as his cheeks turn red with embarrassment. “Don’t be embarrassed.”

“Too much?” he frowns.

Your eyes roll shut, and you shake your head, “Absolutely not.”

“Say my name as you come.” he smiles and quickly leans down to kiss you.

His hair has fallen in his face, and you tuck it behind his ears to get a good look at him. “You’re so fucking handsome. Most gorgeous man I’ve ever seen in my life.” you lick your lips and lean up to kiss him, letting out a loud moan in his mouth. “Fuck me, John. Fuck me harder.”

He lays back on top of you and using your shoulders for leverage, he thrusts hard causing you to scream out each other’s names as you come, both turning into twitching messes. He collapses onto his elbows to keep himself from crushing you, and his hips jerk a few more times as he releases himself. Slowly, he kisses you as he rolls off and onto his back.

“Wow,” he says, breathlessly and starts to laugh, clearly pleased with himself. “That was, by far, the best sex we’ve ever had.”

You look over at him, smiling and roll onto your side and your hand runs over his chest and back down to his cock. You stroke him a few more times, and he starts growing harder again. Straddling him again, he starts to laugh and nods, encouraging you for more.

“Again? Already?” he asks, playfully.

“No,” you plop back down onto the bed, still out of breath. “Just like being up there.”

You try to swallow, and you cough when you realize how dry your mouth is. Getting up from the bed, you pull on John’s pajama pants and grab your shirt from the floor before digging through your purse for your wallet.

“What are you doing?” John asks as he leans up from the bed, still out of breath.

“There’s vending machines around the corner. I want something.” you try to pull the pajama pants up but they fall around your ankles. “This isn’t going to work.” you step out of them and throw them to John, who quickly pulls them on.

Throwing your suitcase on the bed, you pull out some yoga pants and put them on. When John sees how good your ass looks in them, he grabs your waist and pulls you into his lap. “Can I come with you?”

“Of course.” you say as you glance over your shoulder and wiggle down into his lap to feel him growing hard against your ass.

“Wanna go again?” he asks as he bites at your neck. You grind down on him, letting out a small gasp when you feel how hard he’s become already.

“Mmm. Sounds like a good idea, actually.” you turn around and crawl back on top of him. He starts to laugh and spanks your ass as you roll your hips, and you both gasp at the sensation.

“Fuck, I can go again…can you?” John pulls away to look at you.

“I can, but…” you stand up quickly and pull him up, “Maybe later.”

He grabs his shirt from the floor and holds it up, it’s torn to shreds and he laughs, “Guess I’m going to need a different shirt.”

“Yeah, sorry about that.” you smile and bite your lip.

He walks over to you as he pulls on a clean shirt, and you walk around the corner to the vending machines. John picks out plain M&Ms, which you tease him about.

“Plain M&Ms…really?” you say, teasing.

“Yeah, I like them.” he says as he feeds money to the pop machine.

“They’re so boring. Why not peanut M&Ms or…whatever that thing is.” you say as you point at the candy.

“What are you getting?” he raises an eyebrow at you.

“Um…” you push the numbers and bend down, pulling out a plain chocolate bar.

“And that’s not boring?” John laughs and presses a can of Coke to your cheek and watches as you shiver.

__

You hop onto the bed and break off a piece of chocolate, feeding it to John as he looks at his phone – making sure it isn’t broken.

“I feel like we’re in a good enough place now, and I didn’t want to bring it up because we’ve been  _so_ good lately and I didn’t want to ruin it, but I think it’s time to talk about it. So…” you lean back against the headboard and fold your legs under you. “Can I ask you something?”

He lounges in front of you and nods his head, looking at you. “Sure.”

You exhale and reach over to take a sip of your drink, “Gosh, I don’t know how to even start this. I overheard you talking with Jimmy a few weeks ago, asking him to drive by the shop more.”

“Yeah,” he nods his head and sighs. “I can’t always be around to watch over you, so I asked Jimmy.”

“All these things that have been happening…the brick, the picture, my car. Is it all happening for a reason?”

He scoots closer to you and rubs your leg, “I’m going to protect you, no matter what.”

“Do you know who it is?” you ask and reach for his hand.

He shakes his head, “No, but they’re just trying to rattle us right now. No one is dumb enough to break into our house…not again anyway. We have a really good security system, we’re fine.”

“You  _are_  the security system, John.” you look away and sigh.

“Yeah, until right before you moved in.”

“What?” you furrow your brow, looking back at him.

“I never had a security system before you, but when I started to think about you moving in, I knew I needed to get one since I wouldn’t be around to protect you. Trust me, it’s a good system. No one is getting in.”

“Is it because of me?”

He starts to laugh and lays on his back, placing his head in your lap, “Why would it be because of you? Have you killed anyone?”

You laugh. “No, but…”

“Oh yeah, I forgot you’re an assassin.” he laughs and pulls you down to his lips for an upside down kiss. “Oh wow, I like this.” he pulls you down again, and you slip your tongues into each other’s mouths, tasting chocolate.

“Is it Matt?” you ask as you sit back up.

“Why would it be him? What does he have to do with this?”

You start to laugh and look back down at him, “Jonathan, I know you. I know you looked into him after I went out on a date with him.”

“So, it  _was_  a date.”

You roll your eyes, “John.”

“I did. He was with the love of my life, I had to make sure you would be okay.” he admits, and you lean down to kiss him again. “I didn’t find anything. Just a parking ticket from 2014.”

“Did you look into me when we first met?”

“Actually, no I didn’t.” he laughs, “I knew you were a good egg.”

“You knew I was the love of your life then?” you squint your eyes at him, unsure.

“I did. I knew the moment I met you.”

You laugh and shake your head, “No, you didn’t.”

“Trust me, I did.” he meets your gaze and doesn’t look away until you believe him.

“Thank you for looking out for me.”

“Is that invasive?” he asks and reaches up to touch your cheek.

“No,” you laugh, pressing a kiss to his hand.

“I just don’t want to seem like a jealous guy, but damn I was when I saw you with him.”

“I thought about you the whole time, even thought about pretending to be sick, or pouring hot wax on myself so I could have an excuse to leave early.”

John starts to laugh and you see him run his finger over his watch, “You thought about me while you were with him?”

“Of course. I think about you like, non-stop. It’s probably weird at this point how much I think about you.”

“I love you.” he smiles, and he cups your face in his hands.

“I love you too.” you press your lips to his forehead, and he moves your lips to his.

Your necklace pokes him in the eye as you bend over, and he holds his hand to his eye.

“Oh, my god, I’m sorry!” you help him sit up and pry his hand away from his eye. “Let me see it!”

He squints his eye open and laughs. It’s red and watery, and he rubs his knuckle against it. Feeling bad for poking him in the eye, you tackle him back onto the bed and pepper his face with kisses.

“I can’t wait to go home. I miss our baby.”

“He’s going to be so excited to see you. Anytime you stayed at your house, he wouldn’t move from your spot on the bed.” he starts to laugh and closes his eyes to yawn.

You pull off your yoga pants and crawl under the blankets, holding it up to invite John in. As the room fades to darkness, he scoots in closer to you, wrapping his arm around your waist and pulling you close to his chest to spoon you.

“I would kill anyone if they ever hurt you. You know that, right?”

The words come out just above as whisper, but they’re genuine and you believe him. He pulls you tighter to his chest and kisses your neck as your eyes flicker shut.

“Yeah, John. I know.”  


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warnings:** none!

As you step off the jet, you’re greeted by Bleu and a tiny puppy. Having taken a cab to the airport, Tess offered to pick up you and John. You see Tess trying to get a good look at your left hand, and when John isn’t looking, you flash your hand and frown. Tess stomps her foot on the ground and snaps her fingers. John stuffs your bags in the trunk as you and Tess get in the car.

“No ring, huh?” she says as she pets the tiny puppy in her lap.

You turn around make sure John can’t hear you and see that he’s bending down, patting Bleu on his belly. “No, but he’s being weird.”

“How?”

“I don’t know, he’s like telling me how much I mean to me and how happy he is that he met me.” you reach over and pet the puppy in her lap as she crawls into yours.

Tess gives you a blank stare and starts laughing, “Because he loves you.”

The back door opens and Bleu hops in as John tries to stuff his long legs in the back seat. You turn around in your seat and laugh when you see how scrunched up he is.

“We can switch spots.” you laugh and start to open your door, but he stops you.

“No, it’s okay.” the puppy in your lap catches his attention and he smiles at it, “Who is this?”

You hand the puppy to John as Tess starts driving, “That is Sadie. Bleu is obsessed with her, I guess.”

“Hi, Sadie.” he holds the puppy up, and she licks his nose making him let out a cutest laugh. “She looks just like Bleu.”

“So…” Tess says and looks into the rear view mirror to get a look at John, “Did you love mom or what?”

He starts to laugh, and he pets Sadie as she lays down and falls asleep in his lap, “I did, she was funny.”

“She hit on him.” you laugh, “A few times.”

“Figures. Did you meet Dan?”

“Yeah, he was really nice.”

You catch Tess smirking, and she looks into the rear view mirror to watch John’s face, “Did you also meet Leah?”

“Oh, he met her. I walked into the kitchen to see her trying to kiss him.” you start to laugh and reach back to hold John’s hand.

“Ugh, I can’t stand her. I will _never_ forgive her for stealing my favorite pair of jeans. Oh, and I guess for sleeping with your boyfriend.” she starts to laugh. “What did you do when you saw it?”

“Humiliated both of them. Sorry, John.” you laugh.

“Oh, my God, what did you do?” Tess gapes and starts to laugh.

“I just went on about how hot John is. And… _you know_.” you glance back at John and he looks out the window, hiding a smile. “I made sure to kiss him really good in front of her.”

“Good, maybe she’ll learn to stop acting like a child. Mom and Dan are in love, she needs to get over it already.”

You look back at John and see him staring at you. He pulls your hand to his mouth, pressing kisses to it.

“I love you.” he whispers and smiles.

“What did you get for Christmas, John?”

You look over at Tess and watch as a smile spreads across her face. John lifts the sleeve of his jacket and holds his arm up so Tess can see it in the mirror, “I got a watch.”

“Ooh, nice. How about you? What did you get?” she nudges you with her arm.

You turn towards her and pull your shirt down a little to show her your necklace, “I got a very beautiful necklace.”

“You, uh…got a few other things I see.” she laughs and pokes at the love bite on your collar bone. “Wait, is that a journey necklace?”

“Does everyone know what this is besides me?” you start to laugh.

“Very romantic, John.” she winks at him. “Was hoping she’d come home with a ring though.”

He starts to laugh and looks out the window as his cheeks flush with color.

__

“Ah! It feels so good to be home. I know we weren’t gone long, but…” you take your coat off and hang it in the closet, “I have missed our bed.”

“I know, I can’t wait to just lay down and hold you.” John says as he quickly presses a kiss to your forehead.

John walks over to the Christmas tree and plugs in the lights, and the room is still dim, only lit by a small lamp and the tree. You turn on the stereo, and the sound of Christmas music fills the air. It’s a slow song and you glance up at John, who is already standing with his hand stretched out.

“Would you like to dance with me?” he asks, trying to put on a British accent.

“I would love to dance with you, Mr. Wick.” you reach out for his hand, and he spins you around, then dips you as you both start to laugh.

His right hand fits perfectly in the small of your back and you scoot closer to him. His left hand is holding your right hand tight, and you rest your head against his chest, listening to his heart beat. Swaying back and forth, you feel utterly content. His lips press against the top of your head and you look up at him.

“I really did love going home with you. Thank you for inviting me.”

“I couldn’t let you stay here alone. What kind of girlfriend would I be?” you laugh, “All I could think about was you just sitting on the couch, pathetic as can be, eating peanut butter out of the jar.”

“Peanut butter?” he laughs.

“I don’t know, seems like something you’d do.”

“Well, I’m glad I went home with you.” he says, pulling you closer to wrap his arms around your back, hugging you. “Can I ask you something?”

You look up at John and nod, “Of course.”

“I don’t know if there was a falling out or something, but…” he clears his throat and pulls back to look at you. “I didn’t see any pictures of your brother, so I was just wondering the story behind that.”

You look at John, confused and you let out a small laugh, “Um, are you confusing me with someone else?

“No. Remember when we went on our second date to Central Park? You told me you had a brother.”

You move out of John’s arms and bend over, laughing. Tears fill your eyes as you start laughing harder and John shuffles in place, understandably embarrassed. You try to stop laughing and pull John’s arms around you again.

“I don’t have a brother.” you say, still trying to quiet your laughs.

“Why did you tell me you did?” he starts to laugh.

“To scare you.” you say, simply.

“Scare  _me_?”

“Hey, give me a break. I think you were just the average bookbinder. Didn’t know you were literally…”

“Literally what?” he laughs.

“You know,  _you_.” you say, gesturing at him, then make a gun with your hand, “Pew, pew, pew!”

“You thought telling me you had a brother would scare me?”

“Well, I don’t know. I thought if you thought I had a brother then you wouldn’t break my heart.” you shrug.

John stares at you for a moment before leaning down to kiss you. Standing on your tiptoes, you let go of his hand to wrap your arms around his neck and he pulls you in closer, deepening the kiss. You close your eyes and hear John singing along softly to the song. You pull away to look at him, shocked by how good he is.

“You can sing too? We’ve been together for months and I’m just now realizing this? What aren’t you good at?” you laugh.

“Um,” his eyes dart around the room as he tries to think, “I’m not good at…”

“You’re good at everything, John. You can admit it.” you shrug and sigh. “I’m not good at anything.”

“Yes, you are.” he smiles, and you prepare yourself for the cheesiness he’s about to spew. “You’re good at loving me.”

You snort and shake your head, “I just knew you were going to say some cheesy shit like that.”

“Oh! I’m not good at video games. Jimmy tries to get me to play those stupid shooting games every time I’m over. He says because of my job I should be good, but I’m not. I die every time.”

“You get pissed?” you ask as you start laughing.

“Yeah, I throw the controller every time. I broke one once, just snapped it in half.” he starts to laugh and shakes his head, “So there, I’m bad at that.”

“Well, while it is hot that you just…fucking broke a controller in half, that doesn’t really count. I’ll allow it though because I know you’re just trying to make me feel better.” you lean closer to his face and smirk. “I’m actually  _really_  good at video games.”

“Guess you’ll have to teach me then.”

He laughs and spins you around to look at the tree, and you notice a few small gifts under it and turn back to him.

“What’s this?”

He smiles and shrugs as he sits down, “Guess I forgot some of your gifts here.”

“Are you serious?” you roll your eyes and laugh.

“Okay, so, a few are for Bleu…but those are yours.” he points at them and urges you to open the rest. “I promise there’s nothing extravagant.”

Sitting down in front of the tree, you raise an eyebrow at him as you reach over and grab a present. “Yeah, well, our definitions of extravagant are different.” You rip the paper off the box and open it and immediately start laughing, “Fuzzy socks!”

“With grippy stuff on the bottoms, so you don’t fall.” he laughs and moves to sit on the floor with you. He scoots behind you, wrapping his arms tight around your waist and resting his chin on your shoulder.

You grab a bigger gift bag and look at John. “This is quite a big bag, John. Did you make me a quilt? I’m sure you’re good at sewing as well.”

He laughs and shakes his head, “No, but I think you’re going to love this one.”

As you pull out the tissue paper, Bleu sticks his head in the bag and sniffs, and when he realizes there’s nothing for him, he walks into the kitchen. You pull out a pair of flannel pajama pants and you turn to look at John again.

“You did not.” you start laughing and cover your face with the pants, “You bought us matching pajamas.”

“I did, do you like them?”

“Please,” you hold up the shirts and look at them, “Please tell me they don’t say something stupid on the front.” you let out a sigh of relief when you realize they’re just plain.

“Thought it was kinda cheesy and cute.” he says, moving the hair off your shoulder to see your face. Grabbing the other present, he presses his lips to your ear, “This is the last one, I promise.”

You reach into the gift bag and pull out a shadow box, filled with souvenirs of your relationship with John. “John, oh my god.”

“The valet ticket from our first date, petals from the first flowers I gave you. Oh, a napkin from the continental…the night you came there and I told you everything. A picture of my babies – you and Bleu. Our first picture together.” he points at everything and you wipe another tear away.

“Baby, this is amazing.” you notice the paper in background and start laughing. “It’s the letter, that damn letter. I can’t believe you kept it.”

“Do you like it?” he asks and leans forward as you tilt your head to look at him. “I did it all by myself. No help from Tess.”

“Yes, I love it.” you look up at him again and see how proud he is. “It’s very thoughtful. It’s perfect.”

“We can keep adding to it. We can put our plane tickets in it.” he reaches into his wallet and pulls out the picture your mom took. “We can put this in there.”

When he opens his wallet, you catch a glimpse of a picture. You try to grab his wallet from him but his grip on it tightens. “Jonathan.”

“It’s nothing.” he laughs.

You turn around a little more and crash your lips to his in hopes that he’s loosen his grip. He doesn’t, so you lean down and bite his finger.

“Ow!” John yells as you bite down hard on his finger, and he finally lets go of his wallet. “You’re biting me now?”

Opening the wallet, you see a picture of you as a toddler, sitting on your bed with a huge smile across your face. It was the picture he had found on your desk, and you assume he took it when you left him alone in your room. “My baby picture, really?”

“You look so cute. Look how chubby your face is.” he looks at you shyly. “You’re not mad, are you?”

“Why would I be mad? I think it’s cute that you took it.”

You wiggle into his arms and he pulls you close to his chest. He leans away from your ear and whistles to Bleu. Moments later, you hear Bleu running down the stairs and hide your face in John’s arm when Bleu begins licking your face.

You happily rip open Bleu’s presents and watch as he sniffs the toys, then John and you start to laugh when you pull out a Christmas sweater.

“You’re kidding me?”

“Put it on him.” he laughs and tries to grab Bleu as he runs past. Bleu picks up one of his new toys and drops it in John’s lap, begging to play.

“Babe, he wants to play. He missed you.” you frown a little and reach out to pet Bleu.

“We’ll play tomorrow, buddy.” he groans as he stands up and holds his hands out to help you up. “I think right now…we should take a bath and then lay in bed. What do you say?”

You wrap your arms around his neck as his hands move from your back to your ass and he hoists you up, wrapping your legs around his waist. “I think that sounds like a good idea.”

He quickly turns around and carries up the stairs, laughing and pressing kisses to each other’s faces.

__

“Morning, beautiful.” John looks up from the newspaper as you walk into the kitchen, placing your head on the counter top and stomping your foot, the heel of your boot clacking against the floor loudly. He starts to laugh and gets up to refill his coffee cup. “What’s wrong?”

You exhale and look up at him before placing your head back down. “I have errands to run, but…I have no car.”

“I can drive you,” he says as he leans back against the counter and takes a sip of coffee. “I’m just going to be working on some books today anyway.”

“Thank you, but I’d rather you not.” you stomp your foot again a few times, and you know John is watching as your ass jiggles.

He frowns a little and moves to stand next to you. “Why not?”

Lifting you up on the counter, he pecks you and moves your hair out of your face, tucking it behind your ear. You relax your shoulders and reach out to grab his biceps. He looks so soft that you always forget the huge muscles hiding under his shirts.

“I just have to go to the doctor today. I have an appointment in…” you look down at his watch and sigh. “An hour.”

“Why do you have to go to the doctor?” he asks as the concern on his face grows.

“Just gotta get everything checked out.”

He tilts his head a little, confused. “What?”

“I’m going to the gynecologist, I doubt you really want to come with.” you say, flatly.

“Oh.” He stares at you for a moment, then looks down as his hand instinctively moves to your stomach. You stare at him for a minute, almost shocked at his reaction. His eyes flicker from your stomach to your face, then back to his hand as he rubs your stomach. “Are you…?”

You look up at him as a smile tugs at his lips. “I’m not pregnant, if that’s what you’re asking.”

“Are you sure?” his hand is on still on your stomach, and you’re surprised when he frowns a little. “We never use condoms…I just assumed you were on the pill or something.”

You feel your cheeks burning from John mentioning condoms, which is so immature of you but it’s not a word you ever thought you’d hear John say. You place your hand over his on your stomach, tapping it.

“Okay, first of all…I can’t believe you just said  _that_ word _._  Yes, I’m on the pill. And yes…I am  _positive_ that I’m not pregnant.”

“Is everything okay?” he swallows and tightens his grip on your waist.

“Well, that’s why I have to go. To make sure.” you say as you start to scoot off the counter.

“Are you sick?” he asks as he helps you down.

“No.” you say as you start to walk out of the kitchen.

“Then why are you going if you’re not pregnant or sick?” he reaches out for your arm, and you spin around to look at him.

“John, it’s just an annual check up. I’m fine!” you say, and your voice is louder than intended.

He flinches and quickly looks at the ground. “Okay, sorry.”

“Fuck…” You rub your hands over your face and walk back over to him, placing your hands on both cheeks. “I’m sorry, I know you worry, and I know  _why_  you worry. I didn’t even think about it.”

“It’s okay.” his voice is quiet, and he removes your hands from his face, pressing kisses to each knuckle.

“No, it’s not. I was out of line. I’m so sorry.” you pepper his face with kisses and frown when he doesn’t smile. “Are you okay?”

He nods his head, and you fall into his chest as he wrap his arms around you. You sniffle and he pulls you back to look at you. “Don’t cry, baby.”

You start to cry harder and hide your face in his chest. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking, and then I yelled at you when you were just being concerned. I didn’t even think, I’m so sorry.”

He pulls you back by your shoulders and leans down in front of you. “I love you, I was just making sure you were okay.” he wipes the tears away and wraps his arms back around you, hugging you close to his chest. “You should probably go, you don’t want to be late.”

You sigh and scoot closer to John as the warmth from his body soaks into your clothes. “I’ll have to call a cab. I’m just going to call and reschedule.”

“You can take my car.”

“Thank you…” you start to laugh and wipe the tears off your face. “I needed a good laugh.”

He grabs your hand and leads you to the front door. “I mean it.”

“John, I can’t.” you try to plant yourself in place, but John almost pulls your arm out of your socket.

He presses the keys to your hand and hands your purse to you. “You’re going to be late.”

You know he’s only shoving you out the door because he needs peace of mind that you’re okay – which is endearing, to be honest. It’s understandable how worried he gets and you give in when you see his eyes, soft and warm.

“I can’t believe you’re really letting me drive your  _precious_  car.” you say as you pull on your coat. You know it was from Helen and you hope John doesn’t take the comment to heart. You didn’t mean any ill will.

“Just don’t wreck it.” he quickly kisses you and watches as you zip your jacket. “Actually it’s okay if you wreck it, just don’t get hurt.”

__

Walking back into the house, you open the door to the basement and call out to John. His shadows dances on the floor and shrinks as he walks to the bottom of the stairs.

“Hi, baby.” you wave and start down the steps when he stops you, jogging up the steps two at a time.

“Hey.” he leans down to kiss you and when he pulls away, you see the concern on his face again. “How did it go?”

You give him a thumbs up as you take off your coat and hang it up.

“Fine, everything is fine.” you watch John’s shoulders relax, and you smile at him. You walk over to the couch to sit down and John plops down next to you, wrapping his arm around your shoulder.

“I think we need to talk.” he says as he plays with your bracelet.

“Um, okay.” you look up at John and quickly kiss his jaw. He sighs and leans his head against yours. “John, you’re making me nervous.”

He starts to laugh and leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “Earlier, when I thought…”

“When you thought I was sick? Seriously, John…I am  _so_ sorry.”

“No, not that.” he shakes his head and looks over his shoulder at you. “When I thought…you may be pregnant.”

“Oh.” you scoot to the edge of the couch and duck under his arm, resting your head on your fist.

“We should probably talk about that.” he says as he rubs your back.

You poke at your stomach and laugh. “I’m not pregnant.”

“Do you want kids?” He turns to you, tucking your hair behind your ear.

You shrug and when your gazes meet, he starts to smile a little. “I’ll be honest, I haven’t thought about it much since we’ve been together.”

“You haven’t?” he squints his eyes a little, not believing you.

You shake your head and press a kiss to his shoulder. “Nope.”

“Why not? You wouldn’t want to have kids with me?” his eyes dart over your face and down to your stomach, and you know he’s imagining you with a belly.

You jerk your head back in shock and laugh. “You want kids?”

He shrugs and smiles. “Guess I haven’t thought about it much either. Until earlier.”

“I guess I just figured with your job…you wouldn’t want that.”

“Yeah, but you didn’t always know about my job.” he looks down and rubs his hand over your knee. “Bookbinding.” he reminds you.

“Oh, well…yeah.” you start to smile and lean up to kiss him. “I was just happy to be with you, I hadn’t thought about anything else. Not even that.”

“What if you wanted kids and I didn’t? What would we do?” he intertwines his fingers with yours and presses a kiss to the back of your hand.

“I guess we’d break up,” you scratch your head and lean into his shoulder. “I don’t know.”

“I wouldn’t want that. To break up over that.” he laughs a little and wraps his arm around your back. “I want to be with you,  _No matter what_.”

“That’s a pretty big deal breaker, John.”

“I don’t care.” he says, earnestly.

“Well, I’m not pregnant so it doesn’t matter.”

The truth is, kids or no kids,  as long as you have John – you’re happy. Being with John and knowing he’s happy is all that matters to you. Adding a kid to the mix could complicate things, but you know it could also make things so much better, if that’s even possible. Having a tiny version of John running around the house makes your heart soar when you think about it.

The two of you sit in the silence for a few minutes, and you can see John looking at you from the corner of your eye and when you look over at him, he starts to smile.

“I think you’d make a _really_  good mom.” he says, pulling you closer to him.

You smile and snuggle into his side. “I think you’d make a really good dad.”

“If it happens, it happens?”

“If it happens, it happens.” you say, pressing a kiss to John’s lips.


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warnings:** nsfw :) :) :)

All the snow that had fallen in the past few weeks has melted, and you cross your fingers hoping it’s done for the season. With spring getting closer, Tess called and asked you to come to the bridal shop down the street with her, April, and Jimmy to look at dresses.  

Pulling up in front of the shop, Tess claps and waves at you, “You’re still driving his car?”

“Yeah, my car is shot. It crapped out. Finally.” you put your hand over your heart and hang your head, “Rest in peace. John keeps asking to buy me a new one, and I keep refusing.”

“Where is he?” Tess asks as she opens the door to the bridal shop.

“Well, I finally convinced him to take a job, but he’s on his way home. It was only supposed to be a few days, a few days turned into two weeks, which just means he probably got hurt and he wants to heal as much as possible before he comes home.” you sigh.

“He’s still not home? I wish I had known, I would have come over to keep you company. I feel like I haven’t seen you much, our shifts have been so weird lately.”

You look at your phone to check the time. “He should be home -– oh, he’s calling.”

Tess looks over at Jimmy and April, then back at you as she backs away.

“Hi, baby.”

“Hey, I’m home. Where are you?” you hear in his voice that he’s running down the stairs.

“I’m at the bridal shop with April, Tess, and Jimmy.” you look over at Jimmy as he carelessly flips through a magazine.

“Oh. Um…when are you going to be home?” he sounds sad, and he clears his throat.

“I just got here, so it’ll be awhile. You can come down here…Jimmy looks  _very_  bored.”

“Are you sure? I don’t want to impose.”

You start to laugh and lean against the wall, “Yes, I’m sure. Wait, how are you going to get here?”

“I’ll just take a cab. I’ll see you soon.”

You open your mouth to talk, but he hangs up and you frown a little, taken aback by how fast he hung up. Walking back over to Jimmy, you kick his foot to get his attention. “John is on his way.”

He perks up and smiles, “He is?”

“Yeah, figured you could use the company. You look bored.” you say, sitting next to Jimmy on the couch.

“A little. Well, no. Just nervous, really. She said she doesn’t care if I see the wedding dress, but isn’t that bad luck?” he wrings his hands and wipes them on his jeans.

“Hmm,” you shrug and nudge him with your shoulder, “I think it’s okay. If anything, you should feel flattered that she wants your opinion on it.”

“Yeah, I just want her to be happy with it. She could wear a garbage bag and I think she’d look beautiful. I just want to marry her, I want to spend my life with her.”

Jimmy cheeks start to turn pink from being so open with you, and he grabs the magazine again to look through it. He loves Tess a lot and that makes you incredibly happy. Tess can be a handful, but you know Jimmy can handle her. You look around for Tess and April and find them looking at dresses on the racks.

“So, you got a lot of dresses to try on?” you ask as you sift through the dresses.

“I got a few.” she starts to smile and turns to you, “Got a few for you two as well.”

You shake your head and laugh, “I figured.”

A yellow cab catches your attention and you see John stepping out.  _That was fast._ Trying your hardest not to run through the store, you stand and wait for him with a big smile on your face. Before he even gets in the door, you notice a few cuts on his face, and your smile fades when you notice a small limp in his step. He shakes his head and gives you a big smile, silently reassuring you that he’s fine.

“God, I missed you.” Throwing your arms around each other, he lifts you up slightly and hugs you tight. He sets you back down and glances around the shop to see people staring and he presses a quick kiss to your lips, “I’ve missed you so much.”

“Well, hello Mr. Fancy Pants. With that suit, you could go pose in the window and no one would even suspect a thing.” you look up at him and he laughs.

“I had just gotten home and I didn’t want to change. Just wanted to see you.”

He slips his hand in yours and walks over to greet Jimmy. After talking for a few minutes, Tess calls Jimmy over to look at something, and he excuses himself. John wraps his arms around your shoulder and pulls you into his chest, leaning close to your face and pressing a wet kiss to your forehead.

“That little peck is all I’m going to get?” you laugh, and he rolls his eyes.

You glance over your shoulder to see an elderly woman smiling at you and John. She leans forward in her chair and waves, “You two are a very cute couple, when is your wedding?”

You start to laugh and shake your head, “Thank you, but we’re not engaged.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry. Well, you two are certainly an attractive couple.”

“Thank you, ma'am.” John says, and when you look up at him, you see his cheeks are pink and he winks at you.

“Hey, John! You ready?” Tess jumps a little and claps her hands together, clearly excited to try on dresses.

Sitting between John and Jimmy on the couch, you sigh and lean against John’s shoulder. You tap your hands on your legs, growing impatient and Tess finally peeks from around the door and calls to you, “I need help.”

You quickly help Tess into the dress and zip it. Walking back out, you smile at Jimmy as you sit down, “She’s going to hate this one, I guarantee it.”

Tess walks out and Jimmy’s jaw drops to the floor, amazed at the sight of her. She looks amazing, but you know Tess better than anyone, and she  _hates_  this dress. She stands in front of the mirror and frowns, “I hate this one.”

“Told you.” you say, turning around and looking at Jimmy. You spin back around and walk over to Tess. “Why do you hate it?”

“It looks cute on the model, but look at this bow.” she flicks it with her finger and laughs. “It’s just sitting there on my stomach. It looks like a turd.”

You start to laugh and agree, “Okay, yeah it’s pretty bad.”

“It’s fucking ugly.” April blurts out and covers her mouth.

Tess huffs and grabs your hand to help her into the next dress. You lean against the dressing room door as you wait for her and wave at John, “Having fun?”

He nods his head and smiles, “I am.”

He is, you know he is. The two of you could be watching paint dry and he would be having the time of his life as long as he’s with you. You catch him rubbing his knee, and he stops when he sees you looking. You frown a little and he shakes his head, trying to stop you from becoming sad. You’re so focused on John, you don’t hear Tess open the door. She taps your shoulder and you almost jump out of your skin, her face is red and wet with tears and you push her back into the room, locking the door behind you.

“I’m sorry.” she says as she wipes tears off her face.

You know she’s thinking about her mom, and you hug her tight as you start to cry with her, “It’s okay, hold on.”

Checking your makeup in the mirror, you open the door and grab the water bottle and tissues next to John, and he notices you’re crying, “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, we’re just having a… _moment_.” you watch John and Jimmy look at each other, concerned about their girls, and John sits up a little more, reaching out for your arm. “It’s okay, we’re okay.”

Slipping back into the dressing room, you hand Tess the tissues and she carefully wipes her eyes. “I’m sorry, I didn’t expect this to be so hard. Without her. I thought it had been so long, it wouldn’t matter.”

You rub her back and hug her close, “I know it’s hard. I just wish I knew what to say.”

“No, oh, my god. It’s okay, I’m just missing her a lot lately.” she takes a drink of water and shakes her whole body, and you laugh when you realize you do the same thing.

“Ya know, mom would love if you called her and told her about all this.” you laugh and wipe the leftover tears off her face.

“I’m calling her tonight, for sure.” she laughs and turns around. “Zip me up.”

“Is this your number one choice?”

She smiles at you through the mirror and nods, “Yeah.”

The dress is perfect for Tess. It’s not too tight so she’ll be able to still dance, which is what she was most concerned about. You laugh a little when you remember this is the dress that John picked out. You quickly open the door, and Tess walks out confidently and stands on the pedestal, looking at herself. Glancing over your shoulder, you see April crying and catch Jimmy just as he wipes a tear away. Nudging Tess, she looks over and smiles with tears in her eyes.

“Babe, you like this one?” she asks and spins.

“You look gorgeous.” he stands and walks over to get a closer look.

John stands and walks over to Jimmy, grasping his shoulders, “Tess, you look great.”

“Is this the one, Tess?” April asks.

She smiles big and nods, “Yeah, I think so.”

“You look amazing,” Jimmy keeps staring and makes her spin around to get another look, “Babe, you look…incredible.”

“Okay, I’m gonna cry again. It’s time for someone else to try on some dresses.” she says, smirking at you.

“Guess I gotta try on some dresses.” You look up at John, and he smiles as you walk over to the dressing room. He quickly sits back down and clasps his hands in his lap, waiting.

Tess hops out of the room wearing a random dress she picked off the rack and laughs. “This is a good one. Maybe I should get this instead.” she dances around and you hear them laughing.

Peeking out from behind the door, you call out to Tess, “You  _cannot_ be serious.”

She starts laughing and pulls you out of the dressing room, and you see she’s wearing the same dress. You try not to laugh when John scrunches up his face and starts laughing. The dress is the most horrible shade of green with a huge bow on the butt.

“This is the ugliest fucking dress I’ve ever seen.” you laugh and Tess holds her sides as she tries to contain her laughter when she sees April walk out in the same dress.

April’s face is red as a tomato and she’s holding her hands over the bow. “I hate this.”

“Well, I don’t know. It looks  _really_  good on you.” you say, and April looks like she wants to cry. You turn around and put your hand over your butt and lock yourself in the dressing and they continue laughing.

From behind the door, you hear them complimenting April on the actual dress Tess has picked for her, and you smile when you hear John tell her she looks pretty.

Tess knocks on the door, and you open it a crack to allow her in, “Holy shit.”

You look up at her and widen your eyes, “What?”

“This looks amazing on you.”

You blush and smile, “You think so?”

“Yes, I love this color too.”

“Is it too much dress though? I’m pretty short.” you stand on your tiptoes and look in the mirror.

“You’ll just have to wear heels. You  _have_  to get this dress. It’s amazing. John is going to die…” she opens the door and drags you out as your cheeks start to burn. “John, look at her.”

You watch John as he shifts in place, leaning forward on the couch and smiles, “You look beautiful.”

Tess spins you around, and John’s face turns red when he sees the open back of the dress. You lean close to Tess and whisper, “You are torturing the poor man.”

“I know.” she laughs. “I have one more dress I want you to try on, I’ll go grab it.”

You impatiently wait for Tess to come back with the dress, and you start to think about marrying John. You don’t want to rush him, but you wish he’d propose already and you don’t know what’s taking him so long.  _Helen, maybe,_  you think to yourself and shrug. When she opens the door, you catch a glimpse of John and Jimmy laughing, and he looks completely happy. She hangs the dress up and you gasp, shaking your head.

“I can’t.”

“Please, just indulge me.” she bats her lashes.

“That doesn’t work on me, Tess.”

She laughs and starts to beg, “Please, please.”

“I can’t, it’s a wedding dress. Like, an  _actual_  wedding dress.”

“Yeah, so…” she says, giving you a blank stare.

“John will think I’m trying to drop hints or something.” you sit down and put your head in your hands.

“You’re not…but I am! Look, I’ll tell him it was all my idea.” she opens the door and peeks out. “John, this is all me, by the way.”

You reluctantly shimmy in the dress with Tess’ help and sigh when you realize how good it looks on you. “Okay, so maybe it doesn’t look that bad.”

Tess laughs and surprises herself as she starts to cry. “Sorry, I’m so emotional today. You look amazing.”

Even though it’s off the rack, it fits like a glove. It hugs every curve and lace on the back sits on your skin perfectly. Avoiding eye contact with John, you walk out and stand in front of them. Jimmy starts clapping, nudging John, and April gasps. When you finally look at John, he’s smiling and his eyes glisten in the light.

“Is that off the rack?” April asks and looks at Tess.

“Yeah, I just pulled it off, but it fits perfectly. Wouldn’t even need alterations.” she says as she pokes John’s shoulder.

“Can I go now?” you shuffle in place, feeling uncomfortable with everyone looking. John pulls out his phone and you point at him. “Don’t you dare.”

“Too late.” he snaps a picture of you as you laugh.

“I’m changing out of this.” you hide away in the dressing room and catch yourself staring in the mirror. You turn around, checking yourself out and shrug.  _Not half bad._ A knock on the door startles you and you jump, “Yeah?”

When no one replies, you crack the door open to see John standing there. He looks around and quietly slips in, “Hi.”

You quickly lock the door and turn around, “Jonathan, what are you doing? We’ll get kicked out of here.”

“I just wanted to see you,” he hugs you tight to his chest and kisses the top of your head. He sits down on the chair and looks closely at you in the dress. When your gazes meet, he smiles and tears up, “You look beautiful. No, beautiful doesn’t even describe how you look.”

“Cheesy,” you start to blush and give him a shy smile, still feeling a little uncomfortable. “Thank you.”

“Please, let me take one more picture.”

You roll your eyes and scoot back a little so he can take a picture, but freeze when you realize he’s wearing a suit. You start to smile, pointing at him. “You’re literally wearing a suit. We look like we’re getting married.”

He stands up and looks in the mirror as he wraps his arm around your waist. “A preview, I guess.”

You feel your heart flutter at the thought of marrying John. He’s told you he wants to marry you, and you want to marry him, but just the thought still makes you feel weak in the knees.

You wrap both arms around his waist and lean your head against his chest as he takes your picture. “Is that a good one?”

He turns his phone to show you the picture, beaming as he always does when he’s proud with himself. You want to cry when you see how good you both look. Happy and in love. John looks as handsome as ever -– even with a few cuts peppering his face -- and you feel weak in the knees again.

“One more.” he smiles, and you, of course, give in. You stand on your tiptoes and right as he takes the picture, you lightly bite his jaw and he laughs – the picture is ruined, but John has the most genuine smile.

“Okay, now, please…” you turn around, and he helps you out of the dress, kissing down your back as the skin becomes exposed. “Jonathan,” you warn and he laughs again.

“It’s been two weeks… _shit_.” he pulls the dress down and almost purrs when he sees the lacy red thong you’re wearing. He leans down and presses a kiss right where the waistband lays on your skin, and you shiver when you feel his tongue behind his lips. You step out of the dress and hang it up when you feel his lips on your back.

“John!” you whisper loudly.

“Sorry, but you look so good today. Your hair is perfect, and your eyes look so beautiful. Your body…God, I’ve missed you. Longest two weeks of my life.” His lips are pressed to your shoulder, and his hand slides down your stomach to your underwear and his other hand grabs your breast, squeezing gently.

“They’re going to wonder where we are.” you turn around and push him off a little. His fingers curl around the waistband on your underwear, and you bite your lip as you pull him back to you by his jacket. He’s so close that when you talk your lips brush against his, “Will you be happy if I let you have a little… _taste_?”

He nods his head and smiles as his hand dives between your legs, and he closes his eyes, feeling how wet you’ve become. He pulls back to look at you, smirking and you know he’s pleased with how wet he makes you. You pucker and press light kisses to his lips in hopes that no one will hear.

He inserts one finger, then two and his other hand covers your mouth, quieting a moan as he pumps his fingers in and out. He kisses down your chest, over your bra and bites lightly at the lace and pulls it down with his teeth to reveal your nipple. He caresses your breast, pinching your nipple to make it harden. Stroking you faster, your legs start to shake and you bury your face in his chest, gasping.

_Fuck, he’s so good._

Pulling them out, he licks them clean and smiles before kneeling in front of you, wincing when he rests on his knee. “John, baby, if you’re hurt…”

“It’s okay, I wanna do this for you.” he says as he hoists your leg over his shoulder, moving your underwear to the side and buries his face, licking feverishly. He pulls away and smiles at you again before putting his head back between your legs.

“John,” you whisper as you laugh and press your finger to your lips when you realize how loud he’s being.

“Sorry.” he apologizes with his face still buried between your legs.

You start to slide down the wall, no longer able to keep yourself up on wobbly legs. John quickly grabs you and sets you in the chair, spreading your legs and pulling your underwear to the side again. You lean down, kissing him quickly, and he buries his face between your legs again. Trying to keep your moans internalized, you press your hand over your mouth and your eyes roll shut.

John sticks his tongue back out, flicking it over your clit repeatedly, and you grab a fistful of his hair, tugging it and pulling his mouth closer to you. You roll your hips a little and he moans quietly which only turns you on more. Your legs start to shake, and you feel yourself on the cusp of an orgasm. Everyone is probably wondering where the two of you are, and you’re both trying to be as quick as possible, but you’re too far now, you can’t turn back.

“Fuck, John…your mouth.” you whisper, out of breath. “You’re…so good at this, baby. I’ve missed your mouth so much.”

John inserts his fingers again and moans quietly as he pumps them in and out. You squeeze your legs tight around John’s head as he flattens his tongue, licking every inch and every drip of you as you come. You feel his hand come up to your mouth as you let out a moan, trying to muffle it. As you lay there out of breath, he presses kisses to your thighs and chuckles softly. He quickly stands back up and wipes off his face, still grinning and he leans back down to kiss you.

“John, your breath, oh my god.” you twist your face in disgust, laughing.

“Tastes good.” he laughs, licking his lips.

You shake your head, rolling your eyes and push him back out of the room. “Get out of here.”

Quickly changing into your clothes, you meet everybody at the front and notice John is chewing gum, and you chuckle when your eyes meet. Filling out the papers for your dress, you catch a glimpse of John laughing and talking with Jimmy. When he catches you looking, he nods toward the lingerie and winks.

“No.” you mouth and watch as he playfully frowns.

__

On the way home, John is holding your hand in your lap, and you slip it out of his grip and onto his thigh. When your hand slides towards his crotch, you feel him shift in his seat, spreading legs a little to give you more access. Softly, you rub your hand over the bulge growing in his pants and watch as he tries to fight a smile. Almost whimpering from touching him, you let out a small moan as you unhook your seat belt and grab at his pants.

“What are you doing?” he starts to laugh, keeping his eyes on the road.

“We haven’t done this yet.” you unzip his pants and pop open the button on his boxers and reach your hand in, finding his cock impossibly hard.

“Yeah, for a good reason, I don’t want people to see.” he says, but doesn’t stop you.

You sit up to look around, then bend back over, hovering over him as you stroke him. “There’s no traffic.” John is silent for a moment and you sit up to look at him. “Seriously, you can say no…I can stop.”

“No.” he says, almost too quickly.

“Okay.” you nod and sit back in your seat.

You don’t want to admit how much it hurt you and you try to choke back tears. John is allowed to not want sex, it’s okay, but it’s been  _two weeks_. You start to worry a little that maybe he doesn’t want you anymore, and even though he couldn’t keep his hands to himself in the dressing room, you still worry.

_It was bound to happen sooner or later, right?_

He slows the car for a stop sign and turns to you, laughing and caressing your cheek. “I meant no as in ‘no, don’t stop’, I should have been clearer. I’m sorry, I’m just… _flustered_. We haven’t done this yet. I mean, in the car.”

“Yeah.” you nod, still sulking. You laugh a little and put your hands over your face, embarrassed by how you’re acting.

John pries them off your face and leans over to rest his forehead against yours, “I’ve said this already, but I’ve missed you. I thought about every second that I was gone.”

“Are you sure you want this?” you know you have tears in your eyes, and you feel like an idiot for being so upset about it when it was just a misunderstanding. “You’re not just saying that because it upset me? Because I’m an idiot.”

“You’re  _not_  an idiot. Trust me,” he looks down at his cock; it’s stiff and a bead of precum is slowly slipping out. “I want this.” He wipes away a tear from your face and laughs. “I want this so fucking bad.”

You stare at him a moment longer, unknowingly licking your lips -– which you then realize has become a habit when you want to kiss him. John leans forward, looking at your lips then back to your eyes as he gets closer. His lips are soft and persistent on yours, and you realize this is the first time he’s _really_ kissed you since he’s been home. Grabbing the back of his neck, you pull him in closer, slipping your tongue into his mouth and pray there’s no one around as you reach over and stroke him again. Both of his hands cup your face and he tries to pull you into his lap and you pull away.

“I wanna do this. For  _you_. Well, and for me too.” you smirk and look down at his cock as you stroke him, biting your lip to stop a moan. You start to laugh a little and lean forward to kiss him again. “I want your cock in my mouth, John.”

Your gazes meet and he’s shocked as you push him back in his seat, and he puts his hands back on the steering wheel. “I should probably drive, huh?”

“Do what you want, Jonathan.” Licking your lips, you hover over him for a minute and feel his hand in your hair as he pushes you down. “Guess that’s what you want.”

Taking him in your mouth, he lets out a groan as you allow him to move deeper. He bucks his hips slightly, causing him to step on the gas harder, and you both laugh when the car jerks forward. Pulling him out of your mouth, you press kisses to his cock and he moans when you suck on the tip. A bead of precum slowly slips out and you look up at John, making eye contact as you lick him clean again.

“You taste so good, baby.” you wipe your bottom lip off with your thumb, it makes John moan and it’s amplified by the small confines of the car. He moves your hair out of the way so he can see as take him back in your mouth and his grip in your hair tightens when you slowly slide him back out. “Want more?”

He looks around to make sure no one is near and looks back at you, nodding, “Please. Only if  _you_ want.”

“Oh trust me, I want this.” You smile and lick the tip of his cock before wrapping your lips around him again and bobbing your head. He groans loudly and you feel the car roll to a stop again, you start to sit up but John stops you.

“It’s okay.” he says as he puts the car in park and buries his hand in your hair, creating a rhythm. His other hand reaches over and he starts rubbing your ass, and he grabs it hard when he realizes you’re in your tightest jeans. “I’ve missed you so much, your mouth, your ass,” he spanks you hard, and you laugh. “I’ve just missed  _you_.”

“Fuck, John. You feel so good in my mouth.” you say, and he lets out a small moan and laughs.

Stroking him with your hand, you lean up to kiss him and see he’s parked on the side of your street. He buries his face in the crook of your neck and laughs a little.

“You’re so fucking good.” he says, and you pull back to look at him as you bite your lip. His thumb rubs against your bottom lip and he smiles. His eyes flicker over your face and you feel his hand in your hair, and he smiles as he pushes you back down.

You quickly take him back in your mouth, and when your tongue rubs against the tip of his cock, he lets out a loud moan and tilts his head back against the seat. “Fuck…baby, I’m gonna…”

He tries to warn you, but he’s too late. He bucks his hips frantically as he releases himself in your mouth, groaning. John has never come in your mouth before, but you’re surprised by how good he tastes and by how much you enjoy it. After a few moments, he looks over at you as you sit back up. “I love you so much.”

You laugh and wipe off your mouth, “I love you, too.”

“You are  _so_  amazing.” He’s looking at you in awe, and you start to laugh as he leans over to kiss you. He catches a taste of himself on your lips and scrunches up his face in disgust. “That doesn’t taste very good.” 

Wiping your lip off with your thumb again, you watch his eyes grow wide, and he practically moans when you suck on your thumb. “I think it tastes good.”

He starts to laugh in disbelief and leans over to kiss you again, “I love you. Did I say that already?”

The sky is growing dark, and your stomach rumbles with hunger, reminding you that it’s been a few hours since you’ve eaten.

“I’m so hungry.” Unintentionally, you look back down at his cock which is still unbelievably hard, and it twitches.

“You wanna get something to eat? You got anything in mind?”

“Mmm, a burger sounds kind of good.” you sit back and put your seat belt on as John stuffs himself back into his pants.

__

“You wanna just eat in the car? I don’t really want to be around other people right now. Just you.”  

You look at him and reach out to caress his cheek. “Me too.”

2 cheeseburgers, a large fry, a coke for him and a chocolate shake for you.

John parks under a street light in the parking lot and turns the car off, but keeps the radio on low in the background. You open your burger, pulling off the pickles and without looking, John opens his burger and you place the pickles in it. You could just order a burger with no pickles, but you know John likes them. Taking a huge bite out his burger, he covers his mouth as he talks.

“What did you do while I was gone?”

Chewing your food fast and swallowing quickly, you shrug, “Nothing. Just worked. Talked to my mom quite a bit. She asked about you  _a lot_. She made me give her a tour of the house. Asked for your favorite meals, what kind of music you like. She wants to know  _everything._ Which reminds me, what kind of music does Mr. Wick listen to, and what is your favorite meal? I’m pretty sure I know these things, but tell me anyway.”

He laughs as he feeds you a fry. “Well, I like that Michael guy. You know, the guy that we always dance to.”

“Stop acting like you don’t own all of his CDs, I saw them in your office the other night.” you laugh and take a drink of his Coke. “Michael Bublé, he is _very_  good. You always sing to his songs too, which is so fucking cute. I still remember the day I came into the kitchen and you were singing and dancing while making breakfast. One of my favorite memories of you.”

John almost melts when you recall the memory, and he leans over to kiss you hard. He peppers your face with kisses and sighs happily.

“My favorite meal,” he leans back in his seat, tilting his head back as he thinks. “Well, I really like steak. I also like that one thing you make sometimes.”

“Yup, that narrows it down.” you laugh.

“That thing with the chicken and broccoli. It’s so good and every time you make it, it somehow gets better. I’d eat it every day if that’s all you could cook.”

“It pretty much is the only thing I can cook, why do you think I make it so much?” you laugh and John sits up a little, and you watch him carefully as he inspects his cuts in the mirror. Sighing, you finally ask, “How was work?”

“I’m sorry I didn’t call you much.” He sits back and starts fidgeting with a packet of ketchup. “Had a few close calls. I just wanted to stay at the hotel a little longer, resting up before I came home.”

You sigh and lean your head back against the seat. “Yeah, I see you’ve somehow hurt your knee…again. Got quite a few cuts too, which we should probably clean.”

“I’m fine.” he says, rubbing his thumb on the back of your hand.

“Okay.” you say, sarcastically.

He starts to laugh and shoves a few more french fries in his mouth, then takes a drink of your chocolate shake. “I do have some bad news. Well, good news too.”

You prepare yourself for him to say he needs to go away again for another job, and you try to hide your disappointment. “Okay…”

“What do you want first?” he asks and smiles.

By the smile on his face, you the know the news can’t be  _that_  bad. You put the straw of his drink in between your lips and watch him closely as he stares when he sees your tongue. “Um, bad.”

“Bad news…it won’t just be us tomorrow.”

You tilt your head a little and look at him, “What does that mean?”

He leans back in his seat and sighs, “It’s Aurelio’s anniversary tomorrow. He wants to take his wife out, a concert or something, and well, he doesn’t trust  _anyone_  with his kids.”

“Well yeah, why would he?” you say as you crumple up your wrappers and put them in the bag. “I mean, look at his job…”

“But he trusts me.” he looks over and starts to smile. “So…good news, he’s dropping his kids tomorrow.”

“ _That’s_  the good news?” you laugh.

“Yeah! We can just watch some movies, make a pizza…uh, I don’t know, what do you do with kids?” his eyes dart around, and you laugh.

“Well, how many kids does he have?” you ask as you lean back in your seat and reach over for his hand.

“Um…”

“John, you don’t even know how many kids he has and you said yes?”

“He has two.” he holds up two fingers, happy that he remembered.

“Okay, and how old are they?”

He puts his hands in his lap and laughs, “That…I don’t know.”

“This is going to be a disaster.”

He presses his lips to yours, long and hard, “It’s going to be fun.”


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **warnings:** nsfw for a split second

Squinting your eyes open, you see John standing in front of the window, and you watch as he pulls his favorite Henley on. He tiptoes to the closet and pulls out his shoes, then gently sits on the edge of the bed to put them on. The bed shifts a little as Bleu jumps up, and John tries to calm down when he begins to whimper for attention. John starts to stand when you wrap your arms around his waist and pull him back down.

“Oh, you’re awake.” he whispers and looks over his shoulder, smiling, “Good morning, beautiful.”

You nuzzle into his back, and your hands roam over his chest and down to his tummy, “Good morning.”

He leans back on the bed, and you snuggle into his side, pressing kisses to his neck. “You hungry? We should probably eat some breakfast and tidy up the house.”

“Tidy up the house? It’s spotless. It always is.” you say as you climb on top of him and start to lift his shirt, kissing his stomach and licking up the thick scar that runs down his stomach to his belly button. “I have a better idea.”

Grinding against him, you feel your underwear growing wet, and you’re desperate for him. He keeps his hands clasped across his chest and you grab them, shoving them under the waistband of your pajama pants and onto your ass. He bucks his hips slightly when your lips meet, and your tongue dives into his mouth as he pulls your pants down. You feel him grip your hips tighter, pulling you closer to him. He shakes his head and laughs, pulling your pants back up.

“We can’t, we have things to do today.” He pulls away and holds you up by your shoulders, straightening his arms out and laughs as you reach out for him, fingers barely grazing his shirt. You’re still straddling him, and you roll your hips again, watching as his eyes grow wide, and you feel satisfaction when you feel him growing harder.

“Fine.” you huff.

He starts to laugh and sits up, holding you tight as he gets off the bed and places you on the floor. “I’m going to eat breakfast, you should take a shower.”

“I hate you.” you pout as he walks away. You know you’re being dramatic, but you can tell he loves how much you want him.

He turns around and laughs, “No, you don’t.”

“Okay, I don’t.” you roll your eyes as he walks back over and wraps his arms around your waist. “But I’m mad at you.”

“No,” he licks his lips and leans close to your face, “You’re not.”

“I am,” you stomp your foot a little and he laughs. “You know how much I want you and you’re making me suffer. Your hair looks so good today, and I can tell you’ve just trimmed your beard, it looks perfect.” you reach out, running your fingers through his hair, and when your hand moves to his beard, he presses a kiss to the palm of it. “You look so fucking gorgeous today.”

“Thanks.” he smiles.

“And I  _know_  you wore this shirt on purpose. You know how it clings to your arms and they look so fucking big, and your pecs look so good, I want to bite them. And these jeans…pure torture. Look at your ass in them.”

“Imagine how great it will be tonight when we’re alone.” he tucks your hair behind your ear, and you close your eyes.

“It’s been two weeks…we didn’t even FaceTime that much. Only like, four times so you could say goodnight to me. And two times, we fell asleep while talking.” you pout and lay your head against his chest. “Then when you came home…I mean, I know we did  _stuff_. But I miss you. I miss…” you stop talking, and he pulls you back by your shoulders and you watch as a smile tugs at John’s lips.

“You miss what?”

“I miss you…being inside of me. I just miss  _you_.” you frown and stomp your foot again.

“Well, you fell asleep on the couch when we got home last night.” he laughs and strokes your hair. You start to smile a little when you realize you woke up in your bed  _and_  in your pajamas. John had obviously carried you to bed and changed you, he was so delicate with you that you didn’t wake up once.

“Don’t you miss me?” you whine.

“Yes, of course.” he says, leaning close to kiss your forehead.

“Look, we’ve wasted like five minutes talking about this. That’s five minutes that could have been spent with you fucking me.”

“Tonight, I  _promise_. Seriously, baby, go take a shower. They’ll be here in a little bit.”

“This is torture, Jonathan.” you sigh obnoxiously and mope as you walk to the bathroom and listen as he laughs at you.

__

You know you’ll be crawling around the floor with kids all day so you choose some black leggings and a sweater. Skipping down the stairs to the kitchen, you find John reading the newspaper and eating some nasty health cereal that reminds you of sawdust. You grab a yogurt from the fridge and lean against the counter as you eat.

“Still mad at me?” he asks from over the newspaper.

“Maybe.” you shrug.

He starts laughing and folds the paper up, bringing his bowl to the sink, “I love you.”

You stare at him as you lick your spoon clean and throw away your empty container. “Love you.”

“Don’t do that.” he grins and laughs.

“I’m not doing anything.” you say, licking your spoon again. As you walk over to place it in the sink, you brush your ass against him and he gasps.

Turning around to face him, you watch as he stalks closer and closer, reaching out to touch your shoulders. The atmosphere between the two of you is buzzing and you see John check his watch for the time and he sighs.  _Not enough time_.

“Do you still want me, John?”

“Yes, why wouldn’t I?” he furrows his brow and stares back at you.

“Just making sure.” you smile.

“I  _always_  want you.”

“Just not right now…” you laugh.

He points down to his pants; his cock is hard, pressing against the zipper of his jeans, and you want to moan when you see the outline and remember how big he is. “Yes, right now I want you.”

You start to blush a little and smile, “Well, can you kiss me?”

“Of course.”

The kisses start off close mouthed, and he gently pries your lips open with his and his tongue slides into your mouth. Your fingers curl around the edges of his front pockets and you pull him closer to feel him against you. His hands move from your shoulders down to your waist and he pins you to the counter, and he moves one hand back up to cup your face, pulling you in even close to deepen the kiss. Leaving your mouth, he starts trailing kisses across your cheek and down your neck.

John pulls away for a moment, staring at you and smiles as he leans back in to kiss you again. You lift his shirt up a little and reach into his pants to feel him in your hand, and John leans away from you, raising an eyebrow as he starts to laugh.  

“Can I just see it at least?” you ask and lightly bite your lip.

“Yeah, of course.” he laughs and starts to unbuckle his pants, pulling himself out to show you. His cock is hard and a bead of precum is on the tip, you lick your lips and start to lean down, but John stops you and quickly stuffs himself back into his pants.

“Tease.” you cross your arms over your chest and huff.

From over your leggings, you feel John’s fingers on your pussy, and he rubs circles over your clit. His other hand cups your cheek as he crashes his lips to yours again. You moan a little as he pulls your leggings back and his fingers dive into your underwear, and he inserts them with no hesitation, pumping fast. You grab onto his biceps to keep yourself from falling to the floor, and he moans as he wraps his other arm around your waist, lifting up a little to get a better angle.

“Okay, that’s enough.” you exhale and push him away.

He looks to you and frowns, “Did I do something wrong?”

“No. You were doing everything  _right_ , that’s the problem.” you laugh and fix your sweater.

Bleu begins to bark and you know that Aurelio must be pulling into the driveway. John backs away a little more and fixes himself.

“Am I good?” he asks, moving to the sink to wash his hands.

“You’re good.” you lift your sweater up and see the wet spot on your leggings, “I’m gonna go change.”

“What?” John turns around at the sink and looks at you, “Why? You look so cute.”

You pull your sweater up again and point at the wet spot between your legs, and John laughs. You run out of the kitchen and into your room, quickly changing your leggings and heading back to the living room. John has put Bleu in the backyard and he reaches for your hand.

“Come on.”

As you get closer to the door, you hear kids screaming and you look up at John, “What did you get us into, Jonathan?”

He opens the door and lets go of your hand to shake Aurelio’s. “Hey, Aurelio.”

“Hey, John. This is my wife, Amanda.” he gestures to a woman with shoulder length, blonde hair holding a baby. They’re both beautiful, and you are almost breathless when you see Amanda smile. She’s stunning, and you look over to see if John is checking her out –- he’s not. He’s staring at you, smiling and you feel a little dumb when you realize how insecure you’ve become.

John reaches out and shakes her hand and gestures to you, “This is my girlfriend, Y/N.”

“Hi.” you reach out to shake her hand, suddenly feeling unsure of yourself. The baby in her arms automatically reaches out for you and you look at Amanda, “Oh, hi!”

“This is Harper. She  _loves_  people.” she laughs as she hands the baby to you.

“She is literally the most gorgeous baby I’ve ever seen.” you look at Harper as she smiles and laughs. “How old is she?”

“Eight months.”

She has olive skin like Aurelio, but hazel eyes like her mother -– the perfect mix of the two. The little boy on the other hand is the spitting image of his dad with a huge dimples to prove it.

Aurelio grabs the little boy as he runs past, and he stands still. “This is Benjamin, but he likes to go by Benji. You remember Uncle John, don’t you? He’s come over to the house a few times. He’s going to watch you today. And this is his friend, Y/N.”

You lean down, still holding Harper and shake his hand, “Hello, Benji.”

He tugs on Aurelio’s shirt and he leans down as the little boy whispers in his ear. Aurelio laughs and nods his head, “Yes, I think the dog is here.”

“Yeah, he’s here. He’s in the backyard right now.” John says as he kneels in front of the little boy. “It’s pretty warm today, do you want to take him for a walk with me? We can throw the ball for him too.”

“Oh!” Amanda gasps and turns around to grab the stroller from the backseat.

It is warm out, but you all start to shiver when the wind blows, and you hold Harper tight to your chest to shield her from it. John scoots you inside with the kids and walks Amanda and Aurelio to their car as they wave goodbye to their kids.

“So, Benji, tell me…how old are you?” you ask as you set Harper on the floor between your legs and spread her toys out in front of her.

“I’m six.” he holds up six fingers, waving them in your face.

“Six, oh my gosh. So, you go to school?”

“I’m in first grade.” he hops around excitedly. He starts to look around, and when John walks back in, he runs and jumps at John, who thankfully catches him. “Where is the dog?”

“He’s outside. Should we go get him?” he asks, and you catch John staring at you, smiling when he sees you trying to get your hair out of Harper’s grip.

Benji hops down and jumps around, “Yeah, yeah, yeah!”

_He has a lot of energy. This should be fun._

John leans over the back of the chair before letting Bleu in and hands you a hair binder, “You should put your hair up.”

“Good idea.” you take it from him and quickly put your hair is a messy bun on top of your head and out of Harper’s reach.

Bleu comes charging into the living room, and you hold both hands over Harper’s face, shielding her again. When he sees the baby on the floor, he stops and sniffs cautiously. A little timid at first, but when she laughs, Bleu pounces at the floor and barks weakly. She reaches out to pet him and he licks her hand, making her laugh even more and he pounces at the floor again to get her to play. You can’t contain your laughter when you hear the giggles escaping from her and look at John to see him sitting in the chair, watching and laughing.

Harper grabs tight to Bleu’s collar, pulling herself up, and your hands are hovering over her back in case she falls. She pats Bleu hard on his back and laughs when he starts to lick her face. The force of his tail wagging sends her tumbling back onto her butt and into your arms.

“Do you wanna go for a walk? We can just go around the block…maybe to the park down the street.” he asks as he stands up.

“Sure, I don’t mind.” you shake your head and shrug.

Benji is already in his coat and champing at the bit as he stands near the door. John watches you closely as you buckle Harper into the stroller and cover her up with a blanket. With a smile on his face, he helps you into your coat and zips it up to the neck, nearly choking you.

“John.”

“What?” he turns around to grab Bleu’s leash and looks at you as he pulls on his coat.

You unzip your jacket a little and shake your head, “You’re already turning into a dad. Nearly choked me out.”

“Sorry, but you gotta stay warm.” he says and hands you some gloves.

__

Walking next to you, John leans over and kisses your cheek, “This isn’t so bad.”

You shake your head, laughing loudly. “Yeah, for now. Just wait until he wants something and you say no, or Harper is tired and fussy.”

He laughs and you walk in silence for a few minutes as Harper coos in the stroller. When she laughs loudly, John leans forward and smiles at her, reaching out to tickle her tummy. Benji is walking several steps in front of you, holding tight to Bleu’s leash, and John starts to laugh when Bleu turns around, looking at the two of you.

“I never thought I would be walking down the street with my girlfriend, our dog, and two kids.” he chuckles a little and shoves his hands in his pockets, “Seems like a dream.”

You stop walking and turn to him, “I love you.”

He smiles and checks on Benji, then quickly leans over to kiss you, cupping your face in his hands as he presses his lips to yours. You hear Benji talking to Bleu and smile to yourself when you see how well behaved Bleu is being.

“He’s really good with kids.” you point at Bleu, and John laughs as he jogs ahead, taking a tennis ball out of his pocket and hands it to Benji.

__

“Should we order some pizza for dinner?” John asks and Benji nods his head, then runs to the living room to watch cartoons.

“Will you take her? I have to pee.  _Really_  bad.” you hold Harper out in your arms and squeeze your legs together.

John backs away and shakes his head, “I don’t know, I’m good with Benji…but I don’t know about babies. Can’t you just put her on the floor?”

You scoot closer and hold her close to your chest again, “Jonathan, she’s not a sack of potatoes. I just can’t _put_ her on the floor.”

“She was on the floor earlier.”

“Yeah…and I was sitting with her.” you say, laughing.

“I don’t know what to do with babies.” he admits, frowning a little, “What if I hurt her or something? What if she cries?”

“You’re not going to hurt her, and if she cries--”

“You think she’s gonna cry?” he looks up, worried and backs away.

“Baby, I’m going into the bathroom for literally three minutes, I think you can manage.” you nod and smile a little. Holding tight to Harper in one arm, you grab John’s hand and pull him to the couch. “Sit down.”

John does as he’s told and waits for more instructions. His hands start to shake a little, and you kneel in front of him as you place Harper on his knee.

“She can sit up on her own for a little bit…but she’s a squirmy little thing.” you say, and Harper leans out for you.

John lets out a small laugh and looks at you in amazement, “How are you so good at this?”

You shake your head and exhale, “I have no idea. Okay, so just…put your hand on her back and on her tummy to keep her upright. She kicks  _a lot_ ,” you nod to his crotch, “So, watch out. And talk to her. Look at her, she wants to tell you a story, John.”

John finally looks down at Harper as she babbles and reaches for his face. Her fingers graze his beard and she giggles loudly, kicking her legs. You watch John as his eyes dart over her face, a smile tugs at his lips and he looks at you, “Am I doing this right? Is she okay?”

You reach over and wipe the drool off Harper’s chin and nod to John, “Yes. You’re doing fine.”

When you come out of the bathroom, you see John holding Harper up on his legs as he talks quietly to her. You slowly make your way over, trying to avoid the parts on the floor where the wood creaks and watch as John leans up to kiss Harper on the cheek. He stops himself, thinking it through for a moment and holds her up again to look at her face. Harper reaches out for his face again and starts to laugh as John leans forward, pressing a small kiss to her cheek.

You feel your knees almost buckle from how cute he is with her, and you start to think that maybe having a child with John someday wouldn’t be such a bad idea.  _If it happens, it happens,_ youthink to yourself for a moment and smile as you walk over to join them.

You lean over the back of the couch and rest your head against his, “What are you two talking about?”

“She’s telling me that she thinks you’re really pretty.” he tilts his head back and looks at you.

“Well, thank you, Ms. Harper.” you reach out and tap her nose as she giggles.

John laughs and looks back at Harper as she reaches out for you. When you get her in your arms again, you watch John frown a little, almost sad to let her go. You hold Harper tight to your hip as you walk around the couch and plop her in your lap, sitting next to John. Harper sits half on your leg, half on John’s and she reaches out to grab John’s watch. You watch John as he leans forward a little to look at her face, and he smiles when she laughs. Her already tiny fingers look minuscule as she wraps her hand around John’s finger, and she screams with joy when Bleu licks her foot.

“Hey.” he whispers.

“What?” you look at John and smile.

He looks at your lips and leans over to kiss you quickly. You tuck your legs under you and scoot closer to John, resting your head on his shoulder and find yourself imagining that this is your life. Both of you hold tight to Harper, and John uses his free hand to wrap it around your shoulder and hugs you closer to him. After a few minutes, his voice vibrates through his body and startles you.

“I guess I should order the pizza now.” he says and reaches out to help you stand up.

“Yeah, I should probably feed her.” you say as you look through the bag Amanda had packed.

“She can’t eat pizza?” he stops and turns to you. Your mouth drops open in shock and he starts to laugh, “I’m just kidding.”

“No, you’re not. You don’t know anything about babies.” you laugh and follow him into the kitchen, “You would be shit out of luck if I wasn’t here.”

“That’s true. I wouldn’t have said yes if you weren’t here.”

“Now I can’t stop thinking about you watching these two on your own.” you laugh, and John rolls his eyes.

“What can she eat? I can go to the store, grab some stuff. I don’t know  _what_ to grab, but you probably do.”

“Well, tonight she is going to get…” you look in the fridge and grab out some yogurt, “Yogurt and a banana…and some cereal that was already packed in her bag. We  _might_ have some other stuff in here too, which reminds me, we really need to go grocery shopping.”

“Are you sure that will fill her up?” John looks at the baby in your arms and instinctively reaches out to brush her cheek with his finger.

“Her tummy is a lot smaller than ours, John.” you say as you stand her up on the counter. She bounces up and down in your hands, and John laughs.

“I still can’t believe how good you are at this.” his hand is on your back, and he rubs lightly as he leans over to kiss you.

__

You look over at Benji who is laying on the floor with Bleu, both fast asleep. John gets up and picks up his plate, moving to you and taking yours, but you stop him, “No, it’s okay. I can do them.”

“Let me.” he says and gestures to Harper in your arms. “I’ll just throw them in the dishwasher.”

“No, I’ll do it. I have go to the bathroom anyway.”

You don’t, but it’s just an excuse to get John to hold Harper again. You pat the couch and John happily sits down. Still a little nervous to hold a baby, he scoots back and places pillows around him as you tuck her in his arms.

“She’s tired, so…” you push him to lean back against the couch and she yawns. “She’ll probably fall asleep. Just rock her a little.”

“Is this right?” he asks and bounces her lightly in his arms.

“Yup, that’s perfect.” you watch as her eyes slowly shut.

As you grab the plates, you look over at John. His feet are up on the coffee table and he’s leaning back, rocking Harper lightly in his arms with his eyes closed. You want to take a picture and send it to Aurelio, but you don’t, you store the image in your mind instead.

Turning the corner back into the living room, Harper is fast asleep on John’s chest, and her tiny hand is gripping his shirt. His head is tilted to the side, almost on top of hers and his lips are slightly parted as he lets out small snores. You toss a blanket over Benji and he curls up closer to Bleu.

Standing and watching John, you reach over to your purse and pull out your phone.  _Gotta get a picture of this._  You lean in close, snapping a picture and smile when you see how sweet they look. You turn around and take a picture of Benji, who has one arm wrapped around Bleu and know John will get a kick out of it. When you sit on the couch, John opens his eyes and looks over at you.

“Hey.” his voice is quiet and sleepy.

“Hey, you’re fine. Go back to sleep.”

He looks down at Harper and points, “You want her?”

“No, she’s fine. She’s asleep…just keep holding her.” you whisper, and he reaches over to touch your leg.

“Come here.” he lifts his arm and places it around your shoulder. Nuzzling into his chest, you lean up and quickly press a few soft kisses to his lips.

“She’s beautiful, isn’t she?” you say as you lightly rub her cheek with your finger.

“She is.” he laughs a little and looks down at you, kissing the top of your head as you close your eyes.

__

“Baby…” you lightly tap John’s shoulder, and his eyes flicker open. He sits up straight and looks around when he sees Harper isn’t in his arms anymore. “It’s okay.”

He rubs his eyes with his hands and blinks a few times, “Where is she?”

“Aurelio called, he asked if the kids could stay here for the night, I said yes…I hope you don’t mind.”

“No, of course not. Where is she?” he asks again.

“I put her in our bed. She’ll be fine. I certainly can’t carry Benji, so I woke up hoping you could put him in the guest bed.”

John rubs his face and stands up. He looks down at Benji for a few moments, figuring out how to pick him up without waking him up. He lifts the little boy with ease and carries him into the guest bedroom. You watch from the doorway as John places Benji in the bed and tucks him in. John groans and looks at his watch as he sits down next to you on the couch. 2:18 AM.

“Are you sure she’s okay in our bed?” he kicks off his shoes and lays back on the couch, tapping his chest and inviting you to lay on top of him.

“Yes, John. She’ll be fine. Do you want to check on her?”

“No, I believe you.” he yawns and closes his eyes, “Are you comfortable? We can sleep in the other spare room, the bed is smaller, but we practically sleep on top of each other anyway.”

You snuggle in between John and the back of the couch, yawning. “No, I’m fine. I kinda wanna be close to them, just in case.”

“Okay,” John nods and hugs you tight to his chest. Looking up at John, you start to smile when you see how sleepy he is. He smiles and puckers his lips, asking for a kiss. “Love you.”

__

You feel fingers lightly brushing your cheek, and you open your eyes to see a pair of legs in front of you. Squeezing your eyes shut, you yawn and stretch as you sit up. John is holding Harper in his arms, her face is red, and she’s frowning as big tears fall on her cheeks. She lets out a loud cry, and John sits down next to you, exhausted and shaken.

“I have no idea what’s wrong. I just heard her crying, so I went upstairs and she reached out for me. I don’t know what to do, so I woke you up.” his voice is shaky, and he tries to hand Harper to you, but she clings to his shirt as she starts crying and buries her face in his chest.

“Well, she doesn’t want me.” you laugh and get up from the couch. John follows right behind, almost stepping on your heels as you walk into the kitchen and sift the bag Amanda had packed. “Oh, good. She packed formula.”

Harper starts to fuss more and John scrunches up his nose, “I think she needs to be changed.”

You look through the bag again and hand John a diaper and some wet wipes, “Here.”

“Oh no, I definitely can’t do that.” he walks closer and tries to peel Harper off his shoulder as she screams.

You can’t help but laugh when you see John so out of his element. Harper is crying loudly and he tries to rock her to calm her down. He looks back up at you as you laugh.

“Help me.” his voice is desperate, and it makes you laugh even more.

“Honey, she’s fine. She’s just hungry and needs her diaper changed.”  

He almost whimpers as he tries to hand her to you and she clings to his shirt. Rolling your eyes, you walk over to the bay window in the kitchen and pat the spot next to you. John carefully sets her down and walks back over to the island.

“I can’t do this either.” he says as he points at the formula and bottle.

“You can.” you nod at him, trying to be encouraging.

“Baby, I can’t.”

“Jonathan.  _Yes, you can_. The instructions are on the back. She’s eight months. Look at how much it says to give her, fill the bottle with water, measure out the formula and dump it into the bottle. Shake it to mix it up.” you’re out of breath, and the two of you stare at a each other for a moment, and you shake your head and start changing Harper.

He stares at you for a moment longer and when Harper screams, his whole body jolts into action. You change Harper quickly, and her screams turn into whimpers and little hiccups. Her bottom lip juts out, and you wipe the tears off her face as you kiss her cheek.

You walk back out to the living room and bounce Harper in your arms to soothe her and hear John behind you. When you look over your shoulder, he quickly stuffs his phone back into his pocket.

“Did you just take our picture?” you ask and smirk at him as he walks over. “We weren’t photo ready, Mr. Wick.”

He smiles and quickly hands the bottle to you, “Is this too hot…or too cold? I can make another one.” His hands shake and he runs his fingers through his hair.

You nod to the couch and he sits down, and Harper instantly reaches out for John and he sits back a little, taking her in his arms as she drinks her bottle. You sit down next to them and check John’s watch for the time.

“God, it’s 7:20…” you yawn and rub your hands over your face. Looking over at John, you see him staring at Harper as she drinks her bottle. “She really likes you.”

He starts to laugh and looks at you, “I think it’s just because I was the first to get her when she was crying.”

“Oh, please. Look at her.” you look down at Harper, she’s staring at John and he smiles. He starts to lean down to kiss her forehead and he looks over at you. “You can kiss her.”

John leans down and presses his lips lightly to her forehead, then looks back to you. He starts to smile when he sees your hand over your mouth as you smile. “You think it’s cute?”

“Incredibly.” you say and lean over to kiss John. He moves his arms in front of you and almost shoves her in your face. “You want me to kiss her?”

“Yeah.” he nods and you lean down, kissing Harper on the cheek. “See, now  _that_ is cute.”

Harper finishes her bottle quickly and John puts her up on his knee, lightly patting her back as you wash her bottle and put everything back in the bag. From the kitchen, you can hear John whispering to her and when you walk back into the living room, they’re both laughing. You sit down next to them, and Harper reaches out for you. Her eyes are bright and her cheeks are full of color. A perfectly healthy, happy baby.

“Ya know…you look really good with a baby.” John says and leans back against the couch.

You roll your eyes and laugh, “Jonathan, please.”

“You do.”

“If it happens, it happens.” you remind him.

“I know, but you still look good. It suits you.” he says and gets up when he hears his phone ringing.

Harper is falling asleep in your arms when John comes back out of the kitchen. “Aurelio said he’d be here in a little bit. Should I wake up Benji?”

“Send Bleu in there. I’m sure he’d be happier waking up to a dog licking his face.”

John cracks the door open wider and Bleu jumps on the bed, licking and sniffing Benji. You hear little giggles coming from the room, and John appears in the doorway of the kitchen with a breakfast pastry. Benji happily takes it from him and plops down on the floor next to Bleu to watch cartoons.

__

“Hey man, thanks for watching them. We didn’t get out until late. The traffic was terrible.” Aurelio is already apologizing before he gets to the door, and John reassures him that everything is fine.

“It was nothing. It was pretty fun actually.” John says as he shakes his hand.

“They were great.” you say as you hand Harper off to him.

“They were? Ah, that’s good to hear. I know they can be a handful.” he presses a kiss to Harper, and she giggles.

You catch John watching and smiling, and it almost shocks you when he reaches back out to rub her cheek. When John looks away, Aurelio and you look at each other, a smile spread across your face and he winks at you.

“Daddy!” Benji comes running from the kitchen with Bleu and buries his face in Aurelio’s leg. “I made you a picture.”

“Wow. Should we go home and show mommy?” Aurelio reaches out to shake John’s hand and waves to you, “Thank you again.”

As John closes the door, you hear Benji talking about going to the park and throwing the ball for Bleu. You turn to John, exhaling loudly and realize how quiet the house is when it echoes.

“Well, that was fun. I told you.” he slings his arm around shoulder, and you walk to the living room with him.

“It was something, that’s for sure.” you say as you pick up the pillows that have fallen off the couch and quickly change your mind when you get a head rush from bending over. “Eh, fuck it.”

You both yawn at the same time, and he nods toward your bedroom. “We’ll clean this up later. Let’s go lay down.”

Even though it’s only around noon, you know you could easily sleep the rest of the day. Your clothes smell like baby food, and when you look down at your sweater, you see a clump of yogurt stuck on the sleeve that you didn’t even know was there. You sit on the edge of the bed, too tired to take your clothes off and look over as John walks out of the bathroom in just his boxers.

“What are you doing?” he asks and stands in front of you.

“I’m too tired to even get my clothes off.” you say and feel John tugging at the arms of your sweater and pulling it over your head. You don’t know how, but with one hand and in a matter of seconds, he removes your bra and tosses it into the hamper. You lay back on the bed, closing your eyes and smile. “Thanks, babe.”

John wraps his fingers around the waistband of your leggings and raises his eyebrows, “Can I?”

“Please.” you nod and in one fluid motion, he pulls your leggings off and points to your underwear. “Yeah, those too.”

You sit back up after he’s taken off your underwear, and you press a kiss to the splatter of scars on his stomach. “I love your tummy. It’s so soft. God, you’re perfect.”

When you close your eyes, you feel your head spin, and the fatigue is getting much worse. You look up at John and see him smiling at you. You tug at the bottom of his boxers until they’re around his knees and he steps out of the them, tossing them in the hamper next to the dresser.

Scooting back on the bed, John crawls on top of you and wraps his arms around you to hug you tight to his chest. Being naked with John isn’t always lustful. Being wrapped in his arms and your skin touching his is comforting and reassuring; you feel safe. You yawn again, and he squeezes his eyes shut to fight one himself.

You lazily kiss John’s chest and fall back against his pillow as he moves lower and gently kisses over your breasts. You tilt your head back up and you’re surprised when he isn’t hard -– clearly he’s just as tired as you.

“I know I was being dramatic yesterday and I want you  _so_  bad. I really do, but…” you yawn again, and he laughs.

“I’m tired too. I think they wore me out more than every job I’ve ever taken.” he rolls off of you and wraps his arm around your waist, kissing you, then leaning his forehead against yours. “Tomorrow?”

Snuggling in closer to him, you nod. “Yeah, tomorrow.”


	32. Chapter 32

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **warnings:** smut, the entire thing

Waking up next to John is always a pleasure. He’s either right next to you, holding you tight or across the bed giving you space. Even in his sleep, he always seems to know exactly what you want. 

This morning, he’s laying right next to you on his back with his left hand laying on his stomach, and his right hand is in between your legs, holding your thigh lightly and every so often, you can feel his hand twitch.

You carefully move his hand, placing it on his stomach and press a small kiss to his shoulder. When you look down at your leg, you see John has left a hand print from holding you all night. You trace the imprint with your fingers and smile, looking back up at John. Slowly, you sit up and glance at the clock,  _8:24 AM. Slept through the night._

Having slept through the night, you didn’t get up once to use the bathroom and now you’re in desperate need. Quietly as you can, you get up from bed and glance over your shoulder, hoping John is still sleeping. He is, so you tiptoe to the bathroom.

As you come back into the room, you smile when you see he’s still in the same position and still fast asleep. Leaning against the wall, you take a moment and drink in this image. John looks so content, and you see his lips turn up a little as if he’s having the most wonderful dream.

You notice your Polaroid camera on the dresser and quietly you walk over to it, and turn around to snap a picture of John. You flinch when the shutter goes off and quickly put the camera down, hoping it doesn’t wake John. He starts to move around, and you freeze in place as he falls back to sleep. Looking down at the picture of John sleeping, you smile at how cute and peaceful he looks.

Unable to keep yourself away from him any longer, you toss the picture on the side table, crawl on top of him and watch as his eyes flicker open, then closed. He squints them open again and smiles when he sees you. Instinctively, his hands moves to your hips and his fingers press into your skin.

“Hi.” he says through half lidded eyes, his voice gruff and deep, sending shivers down your spine.

“Good morning,” you lean down and kiss his chest, pulling the sheet off of him. Reaching in between the two of you, you stroke his cock and look back up at him to check his reaction; he nods his head and smiles. “Is that a yes?”

“You don’t have to ask.” he says as he laughs.

You shrug and laugh, embarrassed. “Well, I don’t know.”

“What? We’ve never had sex in the morning before?” he holds tight to you as he flips you over and lays on top of you. You both start to laugh, and he rests his forehead against yours, “Do you wanna?”

Biting your lip in anticipation, you nod your head. “Yes. Please _,_ yes!”

A smile tugs at the corner of John’s mouth when he hears how much you want him, and your pulse begins to race as he sits up quickly and you see how hard he is already. His hands run down your chest, and his fingers linger on your nipples for a moment before he spreads your legs.

Using his thumb, he lightly rubs you to prepare you for him, and he strokes himself, “You look beautiful this morning. Well, you always look beautiful.”

You squeeze your eyes shut as he slips two fingers in, flicking them and creating a rhythm as a pleased smile spreads across your face, “You know you’re like…disgustingly romantic, right?”

“I am?” he laughs and leans down to kiss your stomach, trailing kisses from your belly button to your hipbone.

“You are.” you bite your lip, trying not to moan.

Moving your legs to wrap around his waist, John stares at you for a moment, “I had fun yesterday.”

“Not right now, John.” you gesture to his erection and laugh, “How about after?”

He grabs his cock in his hand and lightly rubs it against your clit, teasing you and him both, “You still want me as bad as you did yesterday?”

“ _Much_ worse.” you swat his hand away and guide him inside you as you both moan. He thrusts hard until he’s fully buried himself in you, and you hide your face in the crook of his neck, wincing and gasping as you stretch around his cock.

John’s eyes roll shut and he gasps quietly as a smile spreads across his face, “You feel so good, I can’t believe it’s been two weeks.” He lays down on top of you, and his thrusts are lazy and slow. He leans up to kiss your cheek and starts to smile even wider, “You know, I still remember the first time we had sex.”

Shaking your head, you cover your face with your hands as you start to laugh. “Stop… _so_  embarrassing.”

“It wasn’t, it was amazing. You wore lingerie, which I ripped. I should probably buy you some new stuff, huh? I could help you pick some stuff out, if you want.”

“Imagine you trying to help me pick out lingerie, you would  _never_ be able to last. You saw me in a wedding dress and almost ripped it off of me.” you laugh and reach out to cup John’s face, “I can’t believe you even remember our first time. I was so fucking nervous, gave myself a pep talk in the bathroom. I was so worried you wouldn’t like it..or me, you know…once you  _had_ me _._ ”

“Trust me, I liked you. I liked you so fucking much. You looked  _so_  sexy.” he presses a kiss to your neck and thrusts hard causing him to grunt a little.

“Yeah, that was the day we went to the book shop, and then you were speaking Russian at the gas station…still hot.” you say, leaning up to kiss John’s chest. He starts to laugh and leans down to kiss your breast as his thrusts pick up speed. “It was also the day we decided to-–”

“Be together. Well, we were already together, but that was the day that kinda sealed it.”

“Well technically, you still never asked me. You just said you  _wanted_  to be a couple.” you say, smirking.

“So really, we’re not even official?”

“I guess not,” you say, raising your eyebrows and move to get off the bed, “Guess I’m gonna go then.”

John sits up a little, pretending to be offended and grabs you by the shoulders, pushing you back down, “Excuse me, you could have asked  _me_ , but you never did.”

“Eh, I think you should ask.” you shrug and reach up to tuck a strand of hair behind his ear.

“Fine.” John leans close to your face and whispers, “Will you be my girlfriend?”

“God, I thought you'd  _never_  ask.” you say, burying your face in the crook of his neck as you laugh.

“So, is that a yes?”

“Yes,” you lay your head back against the pillow and laugh. John rolls his hips a little causing you to moan, “Yes.”

John gives you a smug smile and kisses your forehead as his hands explore your body, and he squeezes your breast in his hand, then leans down to take it into his mouth for a moment. “I really didn’t expect for it to happen that night, by the way. Us having sex. I was  _so_  close to telling you everything that night. When Tess mentioned the stuff about you finding it hot that that guy was killing people in that movie.”

“I knew you got quiet for a reason! I actually don’t think James Bond is hot, by the way.” you say, laughing. “But when I think about  _you_  doing that stuff,” you moan loudly and John laughs. “Then, I think it’s hot.”

“I also told you that night that I was in love with you.”

“No, you didn’t,” you laugh and cup John’s face, “You told me the next night, when we double dated with Jimmy and Tess. And you told me that you  _thought_  you were falling in love with me.”

John stops moving on top of you, and he rests on his elbows, staring at you and his eyes scan your face. Wrapping your arms around his back, you try your best to pull him up at little and you wrap your legs around him tighter. You grab at his ass, trying to get him to move again, but he stays still.

“Well, I didn’t want to tell you that I was in love with you already,  _completely_  in love with you, and then have you not feel the same way. Oh, and I didn’t want to look like an idiot for falling in love with you so fast.”

“Trying to play it cool, I see. Typical man.” you say, and John nudges your chin with his fist lightly. “So, when did you know you were in love with me?” you ask, trying your hardest to keep moans from escaping your lips as John starts to move his hips.

“Honestly?” he asks, and you nod your head. A smile spreads across his face and he starts to laugh, “Candle Wick.”

Letting go of John’s back, you cover your face with both hands and begin laughing so hard your sides ache. John starts to laugh and it’s loud, and your laughs echo throughout the room. You remove your hands to see John staring at you, smiling sweetly.

“Are you serious?”

“Literally, the cutest thing. I will  _never_  get over it, and no, I will never let it go. You were so embarrassed, and I just fell in love with you in that exact moment. And every time I bring it up, I fall in love with you even more –- if that’s even possible.”

“That was literally a few days after we met, and that was the day we went on our first date. That fast, huh?” you say, and John nods his head, still smiling.

“When did you fall in love with me?” he asks, nuzzling into your neck.

“Still haven’t decided.” you say, joking, and John sits up to look at you.

“Stop.” he says, laughing and rests his head on your chest. “Tell me.”

“Well, I think it’s safe to assume we both kinda fell in love the moment we met, right?” you ask, and feel John nod his head.

“But when was the exact moment you knew?”

“Don’t be mad, but it took me a little longer. The morning after we had sex for the first time, I was awake and I saw you staring at the picture of us on your phone. I went home later and cried to Tess.”

“You cried?” he asks, brushing your hair out of your face.

“Yeah, I was in love with you, and I was scared you didn’t feel the same way.”

“I definitely feel the same way,” The two of you look at each other for a moment and the room falls silent, the only sounds are you and John breathing and his cock steadily sliding in and out of you. A smile spreads across his face and he looks down, watching as he pumps his hips faster, “Fuck, that sounds so good. I know I’ve been home for two days, but I missed you so much.”

“I was very lonely without you, baby.” you frown and squeeze his biceps in both hands, “I missed your arms wrapped around me at night. It’s so cold when you’re not here, so fucking quiet and empty. I’m not making you feel bad about taking a job, am I?”

“No,” he shrugs. “But I still feel guilty. I hate leaving you here alone. Hate thinking about you just sitting here and waiting for me.”

“I’m not just _sitting_ here. I work, I talk to my mom, I go out with Tess, I take Bleu for walks. I took him to the pet store the other day, let him pick out a toy.” you laugh and you can still see John feels guilty. “John, I  _want_  you to take jobs, I’d never hold you back from that. I just miss you so much when you’re gone.” you reach out and rub your hand against John’s beard, and he closes his eyes.

“How about next time I go out of the country,” his voice is muffled as he hides his face in the crook of your neck. “You come with me?”

“What?” you say, trying to keep the moan from escaping as John rolls his hips.

He pulls back and stops moving, looking deep into your eyes, inches from your face. “Come with me.”

“Come with you? John, we just… _started_. And we’ve been talking for like ten minutes.”

He starts to laugh, just realizing the double meaning and shakes his head, “No. Next time I leave…I want you to go with me.”

“Isn’t that dangerous?”

“No more dangerous than me leaving you here alone. Actually…you’d be safer,” he raises his eyebrows, trying to make a point. “You’d stay at the hotel.”

You sigh and look up at him, “Can we talk about this after?”

“Of course.”

You squeeze your eyes shut as John thrusts hard several times, and you feel yourself being torn as you let out a loud moan and arch your back, pressing your chest against his. Opening your eyes, you watch John as he stares at your breast bouncing from the force of his thrusts.

Pushing lightly on his shoulders, he flips the two of you over and immediately brings his thumb into his mouth, wetting it for you. Once you get situated, he rubs circles on your clit as you roll your hips fast, and he laughs when he sees the smile spread across your face. He holds tight to your hips to stop you and you look at him.

“What?”

“I haven’t kissed you yet, that’s unacceptable.” he laughs and sits up straight, holding tight to your waist to keep the two of connected by the hips. You lean in close to his lips as he puckers, and you pull away to tease him. You slowly lick your lips, laughing when he bucks his hips under you. “Baby…”

“Okay, okay.” you wrap your arms around his neck, tangling your fingers in his hair and slowly lean in as the two of you stare at each other, eyes flickering over each other’s faces.

John’s arms are around your waist and his hand is resting on your ass, kneading lightly. Cupping his cheek in one hand, you close your eyes as your lips meet, and you start rolling your hips as he lays back on the bed. The bed creaks as you pick up speed, and small moans escape past his lips and into your mouth. When your gazes meet, John smiles and leans up to kiss you again.

Burying your face in the crook of his neck, you stop moving your hips and allow John to thrust hard. He grabs your ass in both hands, spreading you to move in deeper, and the room fills with the sound of the creaking bed, small moans, and skin slapping skin.

Intertwining your fingers with John’s, you sit up and stare at him, still in awe of how beautiful he is. “How do you do that?”

“Do what?” he asks, opening his eyes to look at you.

“You just always look so…flawless. So  _perfect_. You literally just woke up and you smell so good, your breath doesn’t even smell. What the fuck kind of egg did you hatch from? You’re not human, I’m positive.”

“I’m not perfect.” he laughs and sits back up, scooting and leaning against the headboard. You buck your hips to keep the two of you connected and he groans. “I feel that way about you.”

You roll your eyes and laugh, “No, you are  _gorgeous,_ and everyone can admit that. You thinking I am? That’s just not realistic.”

He tries to keep a moan in, but it slips out and he laughs. “It is, you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen, I mean that. I just wish you would believe me.”

“Yeah.” you shrug your shoulders, and John wraps his arms around you even tighter.

“Okay, this morning for example, you look so fucking gorgeous.” he says, tucking your hair behind your ear. “You look so happy, and your smile, you’re beautiful, baby.”

“You would say that about me every morning.”

“Because it’s true!” he laughs and leans forward to kiss you again. You crash your lips to his, slipping your tongue into his mouth. His lips are soft and warm, and you hum when his tongue glides against yours.

Riding him faster, he leans up and whispers sweet nothings in your ear, kissing your shoulders and neck. From his heavy breathing, you know he’s close to completion, and his hands move back to your hips as he moves you up and down on his cock. Keeping your foreheads pressed together, he shudders as your legs begin to shake, both panting and trying to catch your breath.

The orgasms don’t come with loud wails or screams; it’s simple, quiet, and perfect. You feel your whole body fill with warmth and look down at John. His eyes are closed and he’s resting his head against your chest, trying to catch his breath as he presses small kisses to the top of your breast.

After a few quiet minutes, he looks up and smiles, kissing you again as he gently lays you down on the bed and brushes your hair out of your face. “Wait here, I’m gonna fill the tub.”

You hear John shuffling around and opening cupboards in the bathroom, and you look up to see him peeking around the corner. “What are you doing, Jonathan?”

“Just wait there, baby. I’m almost done.”

You sit up a little as John walks back out and reaches out for your hand, and he lifts you into his arms and you press a kiss to his cheek. “What did you do?”

“Something nice for you.” he smirks and walks to the bathroom.

When you get into the bathroom, John sets you down, and you see he’s placed candles on the edge of the tub and on the counter top. The bathtub is full of blue tinted water, and flower petals scatter the floor and into the tub. He wraps his arms around your waist and leans close to your ear, whispering, “Do you like it?”

“John, this is amazing.” you say, leaning your head back against his chest. “Thank you.”

“I meant to do this the other night, I was going to put them all over the bed, and then make you close your eyes and surprise you. Then, the kids stayed the night…and then we fell asleep last night.” he laughs.

“I love this,” you turn around and wrap your arms around his waist, “I love you so fucking much.”

“I love you more.” he says, and quickly presses a finger to your lips when you open your mouth to argue.

“Okay, fine. I won’t argue.” you say as you turn back around, looking at the tub. “You might wanna get in first, we haven’t figured this whole thing out yet.”

John steps into the tub and sits down as the water spills onto the floor, “Shit! It’s okay, just leave it. I’ll deal with it after.”

You ignore him, grabbing a few towels and throwing them on the floor to soak up the water, “It’s okay, I got it. I have to clean the house and do laundry later anyway.”

John reaches out for your hand and tugs your fingers, “Come on.”

Holding tight to John’s hand, you wince as you climb into the tub, and he immediately notices. Before he can say anything, you put your hand up to stop him.

“I’m fine.” you say as you rest your back against his chest.

“What was that?” he asks anyway.

“You.” you say, tilting your head back to look at him.

“ _Me_? What did I do?”

Grabbing the loofah off the side of the tub, you pour soap onto it and scrub John’s arms. Turning around as best as you can, you smile and scrub his chest. He takes it from you and washes your back, and presses kisses to it when he rinses you off.

“Seriously, did I do something?” he asks, grabbing your shoulders and leaning forward to look at you.

You roll your eyes and smile as you play with the flowers in the tub, “You know. You just want me to say it.” John starts to laugh and he knows he’s been caught. “John, you are  _very_ …”

“Very what?” he tries to turn you more so he can see you but can’t.

You quickly stand up and turn around, plopping back down in the water, and it splashes into John’s face and he laughs. You wrap your legs around his waist and scoot close to him, even under the water you can feel his cock hard, and it’s dangerously close to you. Inching its way back to your entrance, you gasp when it almost slides in, and you hope John doesn’t notice as you scoot even close to feel him against you.

He does, and his hands dive under the water and onto your ass. He scoots you closer to him, moaning as he slides back in, and you feel complete once again. You wrap your arms around each other and he moves in deeper, causing you to moan. John looks at you, and you know he’s ready to go again and quite frankly, you are too. Your fingers tangle in his hair as you pull him closer to kiss you. Bucking your hips slightly, he groans, then laughs when water spills out onto the floor again.

“We seriously need a bigger tub.” you laugh as you lean up to kiss him again and moan as you slip your tongue into his mouth. You pull away and stare at John for a moment, “Fuck me.”

Without hesitation, John holds tight to you and gets out of the tub, setting you on the counter top. The two of you are dripping water all over the floor, but thankfully with the towels, John doesn’t slip. He holds tight to your waist as he thrusts deep and slow, taking his time.

“Two times today?” he laughs and leans down to kiss your neck.

“Is that okay?” you ask and let out a moan when John rolls his hips a little. “I just missed you and–-”

“Are you really asking if it’s okay if we have sex again?” he grunts and closes his eyes.

“It’ll probably be three, if I’m being honest.” you laugh and beam with satisfaction when you see John’s mouth fall open and a loud moan escapes. “Are you okay to go again?”

John looks down at his wrist where his watch would usually be resting and he nods, “Yup, I’m good.”

“Checking to see if it’s time to fuck me?”

John laughs and leans forward to kiss you, holding tight to your waist. You pepper his chest with kisses, licking over his collar bone back up to his neck, and he lets out a small moan. Running your hands over his arms, you smile when your gazes meet again and John rubs his beard against your neck, making you laugh.

You wrap your arms tight around his neck and claim his lips with yours. Pushing your tongue past his lips, you explore his mouth as he lifts you up and with one hand, he shuts the bathroom door and pins you to it, thrusting hard.

“I’m so sor-–” you say as you tilt your head back against the door, moaning loudly inching your way toward another orgasm already, “I’m not going to last long, baby.” You tighten your legs around John and hear him laugh as he starts to fuck you harder, and you wrap your arms around his neck, resting your foreheads together. “Fuck me harder, baby.”

John thrusts so hard you lose your breath, and you start laughing. Taking your nipple into his mouth, you kiss the top of his head and catch the scent of his shampoo, which always makes you happy. John looks back up at you, staring as he reaches up with one hand to caress your cheek, and he presses his entire body weight onto you against the door, ultimately keeping you in place.

“I missed this,” he says, then lets out a low-pitched moan as he leans his head against your chest to watch. “Oh, fuck.” John stops moving, and you both begin to twitch in each other’s arms, breathlessly kissing each other.

“No, keep going! Come for me, baby.” you moan, and his hips move erratically. John is in the perfect position and every time he thrusts, he hits your hidden spot.

Pinning you harder to the door, you cling to John, desperately grabbing at his back, leaving behind red marks from your nails. With one hard thrust, he fills you up again, cock twitching inside of you, and he stops moving as you both try to catch your breath. You feel John staring at you, and he starts to laugh when you lean your head back against the door, gasping for air.

Still out of breath, John shuffles in place a little and even though his arms are huge and he’s fully capable of holding you up, he’s getting tired. “Tub?”

“Yeah, your arms are starting to shake, and to be honest, I really don’t want you to drop me.” you laugh, and he lifts you up further in his arms, which causes him to finally fall out of you.

“I could hold you forever, I don’t know what you’re talking about.” he laughs and walks back to tub, climbing in. After a few moments of spilling more water out, you wrap your legs back around him and he kisses you once more. “I’m still waiting, by the way.”

“For?” you ask, and he looks down to where the two of you are connected. “Oh! Um, you’re very good.”

“No, that’s not what you were going to say.” he shakes his head and kisses your cheek. “Thank you, but I know that’s not what you were going to say.”

You start to blush and laugh, “You really want me to say it that bad?”

He nods, smiling wide, “Yes.”

“I cannot bring myself to say it.”

“Fine.” he frowns.

“Oh, you’re going to pout now?” you laugh and poke his chest, “Fine. John, you are very… _large_.”

He’s inches from your face, and he plants a wet kiss on your lips. “Thanks.”

You reach out groping his shoulders and arms, “Yeah, your shoulders are  _really_  wide. You’re so tall…” you start to smile and he frowns again. “I’m just kidding.”

“Why won’t you say it? Just say my penis is big.” he laughs.

You scrunch up your face, laughing, “Don’t call it _that_.”

“Dick. Is that better? How about cock?” he raises his eyebrows and smiles wide.

“How is this not embarrassing you?”

“Because I feel comfortable with you. Don’t you feel comfortable with me?”

“Of course,” you say, reaching out to remove a flower petal from his chest. “You’re just being so… _casual_ about it.”

“Just say it, baby.” he says, starting to laugh again.

“I’m getting dressed now.” Your cheeks flush with color and you try to stand up, but John grabs your arms to stop you and you both laugh as he brings you in for a kiss. “This is weird.”

“It’s not weird.” he shakes his head and puts his hands over your head, sprinkling your hair with water.

“Look, you don’t just randomly talk about…me.” you gesture to your body and look up at John.

“Like your pussy?” he says, and you feel like drowning yourself. He reaches out cupping your breasts in both hands and smiles, “Your tits. Those are really good.”

“Jonathan, I swear if you don’t stop…” you start to laugh, and he pulls you closer.

“You get so embarrassed over the weirdest shit,” he says as you cup his face, and he leans his cheek against yours. “I’ve seen  _every_  inch of you, and you’ve said some  _dirty_  shit to me, but this is embarrassing you.”

“Yeah, because we’re literally sitting in the bathtub. We’re not being intimate.”

“This  _is_ intimate.”

You roll your eyes and laugh, “Okay, you’re right.” You lick your lips and lean close to his face as your hand dives into the water and onto his cock, stroking him. “Your cock is huge, John.”

“You like it?” he asks, leaning forward to kiss your cheek.

“I love it,” you smile, still blushing a little, but slowly starting to loosen up, “It’s hot. You’re fucking huge, and you  _know_  what you’re doing. It amazes me every time how it just…fits inside of me so perfectly. Like you said once, it really is the perfect fit.”

“But you were wincing?”

“ _Because you are huge_.” you reiterate, and John laughs loudly. 

Reaching behind you, you pull the plug on the tub and watch as the water drains out of the tub. You feel John’s cock twitch in your left hand, and you look back at him as you move your best to straddle him. You both look down and watch as you slide him back and forth against your clit, and John moans loudly, holding you in place by your hips.

“Look at me.” John demands and stares at you attentively as you slide back down his cock. A smile spreads across your face as John’s mouth slowly falls open and a moan slips out. Bucking his hips, you squeeze your eyes shut and let out a small whimper.

“I can’t,” you try to move your hips a little, but can’t. “I can’t move. Can we  _please_ get a bigger bathtub?”

John starts to laugh and nods his head, “I’ve been thinking about getting a bigger one for awhile.”

“Good.” you say, and lay against John’s chest and feel his hands moving down your back to your ass.

“So, what does it feel like when I’m fucking you?” he asks and bucks his hips slightly.

Your stomach fills with butterflies and you feel light headed when you hear John ask you. He’s either trying to see how you’re going to respond with how blunt he’s being, or he’s completely oblivious, either way it send shivers down your spine.

You chuckle a little and look up at John, “I don’t know why, but every time, it’s different. I just know that sex with you will literally  _never_  get boring. It’s the most glorious feeling in the world –- I know, cheesy. It’s like, the best pain I’ve ever felt in my entire life.”

“I didn’t know it was… _painful_.” he frowns and grabs flowers from the tub, placing them in your hair and tucking one behind your ear.

“God, how do I explain this?” you let go of John’s shoulders and clasp your hands in front of your chest, trying to figure out how to word what you’re about to say. “Okay, so…you know how you always say that I’m so…” you start to laugh and John smiles at you, waiting for you to continue. “Fuck, okay.”

“You can do it.” he smiles, encouraging you.

You exhale loudly and laugh again. “Okay fuck it, I’m just gonna say it. You know how you always say how tight I am?”

“Yeah,” John nods and licks his lips. Holding onto your hips, he bounces you up and down and laughs, “I love it. You always feel so fucking good.”

“Okay, well,” you gesture down to your hips and laugh again. “You’re huge, I’m not. So obviously, at first it hurts and it’s even worse when it’s been awhile. But literally for like, 30 seconds and then we’re good.” you close your eyes and wrap your arms around John’s neck.

“How good?” he says with his lips pressed to yours.

“ _So fucking good._ ” you say and shudder when you feel John’s hands on your ass, moving you to grind on him. “I fucking love your cock, John.”

“It’s nice to hear what you like about me.”

“There isn’t one thing that I  _don’t_  like about you, to be honest.” you say, laughing a little and taking the flowers out of your hair.

“Not even one thing?”

“Not really, you’re kinda perfect.” you reply and press a small kiss to his chest.

“Hardly.” John rolls his eyes.

“You think I’m perfect, don’t you?” you say, leaning your forehead against his.

“Oh, absolutely.”

“Okay, then, I think that about you.”

“You wanna hear what I like about you?” he asks and raises an eyebrow as his hands move up your stomach to your chest.

“Um,” you wince as the two of you pull apart, and you quickly hop out of the tub, wrapping yourself in a towel. When you turn around to look at John, he’s still sitting in the tub, looking at you and smiling. “Maybe later.”


	33. Chapter 33

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **warnings:** none!

Hopping onto the dryer, you watch as John puts the sheets from your bed into the washer and starts it. You insisted on doing the laundry, but living with John is like living with a maid. He does  _everything._  You’d think your hands didn’t work because as soon as you go to grab something, he’s there picking it up for you instead. It’s nice having someone who does everything, but sometimes you just want to wash your own dishes and underwear.

“I know you’re a grown man, but it kinda makes me melt that you know how to do laundry.”

“Why?” John laughs and taps your legs to get you to move so he can get the clothes from the dryer. 

You spread your legs open on both sides of the dryer so he can open the door, and when John bends down to get the clothes from the dryer, he notices his face is practically in your crotch and freezes in place. Scooting forward a little, you gasp when John comes in contact with you, and he buries his face between your legs before moving to get the clothes as he laughs.

“Tease.” you say and fold your legs under you.

“So, you think it’s cute that I know how to do laundry?”

“Yes, it’s really cute. I just think about how before I was here, you did all this stuff on your own. It’s really cute to think about you vacuuming, cleaning the bathroom, and doing your own dishes – I mean you do all that stuff now, but I usually help you, well, I  _try_ to help.” you laugh and point at the washer. “You tend to kinda push me aside and do everything yourself, which I understand since you’re used to that. Taking care of yourself.”

“No, it’s because you work. You don’t want to come home and have to clean the house, plus I want to do nice things for you.”

“John, you work too. And your job is much more… _vigorous_  than mine. I put books on a shelf and help old ladies find gifts to buy for their grandchildren. You literally…” you frown a little and look at John.

John sighs, avoiding eye contact with you, “Kill people?”

“No, well, I mean yes,” you start laughing and shake your head, “But I was just gonna say I don’t actually know  _what_  you do. You gave me the watered down version of your job, and I just never asked questions about it. Figured you never wanted to tell me, so I wanted to respect that and not ask too many questions. I just thought once you were ready to tell me  _all_ the details you would, which you haven’t and it’s been so long now, I guess maybe you just assumed that what you told me was enough.”

“I appreciate you not asking too many questions, especially in the beginning.” he says and stands in front of you, “And it’s not that I didn’t want to tell you, or that I thought what I was told you was enough. I just…I don’t want to scare you.”

“Baby, you’re not going to scare me.” you say, smiling reassuringly. “I just want you to feel comfortable telling me these things. I don’t want you to feel like you can’t come home and unload and just rant about work, because you can. I’m your girlfriend, and this is what I’m here for.”

“I know, but how weird would it be for me to come home and tell you how stressed out I was because I was tracking down some guy and I couldn’t get the perfect head-shot lined up? Pretty weird, right?”

“The only weird part of that sentence is you saying you couldn’t get the perfect head-shot, I find that  _very_ hard to believe.” you laugh, and John starts to smile.

“Okay, that’s true.” he says, smiling smugly. “So, what do you want to know? I’ll answer any question you have, I promise.  _Nothing_ is off limits.”

“Well now that I’m on the spot, I can’t think of anything.” you shrug, smiling.

“Okay, well, anytime you have a question, I’m here and I’m willing to answer them.” he says and leans forward to kiss you before moving back to the laundry basket.

You start laughing again and try to change the subject, “I picture you and Bleu on the couch watching some boring shit on the History Channel or the Food Network. You did that a lot, didn’t you?”

“Hey! It’s interesting stuff.” he laughs as he folds a pair of your jeans. “You watched that whole program on how to make bread with me.”

“Yeah, okay, that _was_  interesting. There was another one on while you were gone.”

John looks up and smiles, “What was it?”

“Pasta making. Sounds like a good one, I haven’t watched it yet, but I recorded it. I wanted to wait for you.”

“We should watch it today. Maybe order some food and just hang out. We’ll have to go grocery shopping later too.” John says and starts folding clothes again.

“That’s also what I think about, you went grocery shopping for yourself, probably bought a lot of those frozen meals that you put in the microwave.” you scrunch your face up and laugh. “I know you love to cook, but it’s no fun when you’re just…cooking for yourself.”

Your tone of voice starts to change, and John immediately looks up at you, still folding laundry and you look away trying to hide the fact that you’re on the verge of tears.

“Hey,” John taps your leg to get your attention, “Don’t think about it.”

“You were probably so lonely.” you start to tear up and look at John, “Here, just…all by yourself. I bet you just kind of accepted it and thought you would never be happy again. God, that just breaks my heart to think about.”

John shrugs and leans against the washer, exhaling. “Yeah, I was pretty lonely. The house was cold and quiet…really quiet. It didn’t even feel like a home. I’d just go to work, come back, hang out with Bleu, and then go back to work. I worked  _a lot_. Wait, did you think I’d have a maid or something?”

He’s trying to spare your feelings and change the subject, which you’re thankful for since you don’t really want to think about how sad and lonely John must have been, and all the nights he probably spent crying and not sleeping.

“Actually…” you start to smile.

“You did?”

You laugh hard and move his hair out of his face, “Looking at your house, like before I met you… _yeah_ , I totally thought you would have a maid. It’s a  _very_  large house.”

“It is a big house.” John moves in between your legs and places his hands on your thighs. “If I moved, would you move with me?”

You tilt your head a little and cup John’s face, “You wanna move?”

He shrugs and looks down at his hands as he rubs circles on your thighs. “Would you move with me?”

“Absolutely, I would follow you anywhere.” you lean down a little to meet John’s gaze and smile at him softly. “Baby, do you want to move? Because I mean it, I will follow you  _anywhere_  you want to go, as long as you want me to come along.”

“Well, what if I didn’t want you to come with me?”

“That’s too damn bad because I’m coming anyway, and I know you’re just trying to get a reaction out of me because you literally  _just_  asked if I’d come with you.”

He stares at you for a minute before smiling big. “I just wanted to know what you would say if I said I was moving.”

“Jonathan Wick!” you playfully hit his arm and he backs away a little, laughing and putting his hands in front of his chest to protect himself. “God! Why are you like this? You’re being so silly today.”

“I just wanted to know! I wanted to know if you’d move with me!” he grabs your hands and kisses the back of them.

“Of course I would.” you wrap your arms around John’s neck and pull him back to you.

“I would want you to come with me, if I ever did move. I don’t want to move though, I love it here.”

“Me, too. I also  _love_  this shirt on you, baby.” you say, rubbing John’s biceps.

“It’s just a plain white shirt.”

“Yeah, and you wear the shit out of it.” you laugh and look down at the freckles that pepper his arms. “Look at all your freckles, you are seriously so cute, I can’t take it.”

John’s cheeks turn pink and he shakes his head. “Well, you look pretty cute today. I love when you wear my shirts.”

After your bath with John, you saw his Henley on the floor and it was surprisingly clean, even though you two had just babysat the kids. It smelled like John, and you knew you didn’t have much planned for the day so you threw it on.

“Yeah, I know you wore this yesterday, but…” you cover your face with the sleeves and inhale, “It smells like you and it’s cozy. I know it’s your favorite too because you wear it a lot, and it’s also my favorite shirt on you.”

“It looks much better on you than it does on me.” John says, and you wrap your legs around his waist, pulling him closer. He tucks your hair behind your ear and presses his lips to yours, soft and warm as his hand slides down your neck to your back. His hand is firmly placed on your lower back, just above your ass, and he begins kissing your neck, up to your ear and you gasp when he bites it. He slowly pulls away taking shaky, shallow breaths. “Fuck.”

“You know, I really love the affect I have on you.” you say and watch a smile spread across his face. He squints his eyes a little, giving you a heavy lidded look. “Don’t give me that look.”

“What look?” he laughs.

“ _That_ look.” you squint your eyes, trying to impersonate John. “You always do that when you want me.”

“I always want you, so I guess that’s just my face.” he says, pointing at his face. He leans back in to kiss you again, slipping his tongue into your mouth this time, and you wrap your arms around each other.

“So…about yesterday.” you say with your lips pressed to his.

“It was fun, wasn’t it?”

“It was, I’ll admit that.” you let go of John and he slouches a little.

“Did it change your mind?” he asks and looks at you carefully. “You know, about kids.”

You huff as you hop off the dryer, making your way to the kitchen to let Bleu outside, and John follows you in and leans against the counter across the kitchen from you, taking a sip of his coffee. Your eyes are fixed on his, and you fold your arms across your chest.

“John, I think you secretly want kids,” you lean against the fridge and he looks at the ground. “Just be honest, baby.”

John looks up at you and gives you a small shrug. He looks so sad and conflicted, and you wonder what’s going on in his head. As you walk over to him, he immediately wraps his arms around you and pulls you closer.

“Okay, why do you look so sad?”

“What if you don’t want kids?” his voice is low, and you can barely hear him over the dishwasher running. “I know we decided on if it happens, it happens, but what if it  _does_  happen, and then you’re not okay with it? Because I feel like you really don’t want kids.”

You lean back against the counter from John and rub your hands over your face, exhaling loudly. “John, if I wasn’t okay with it, I would have told you that. I would have told you that I  _don’t_  want kids. Look, as long as I have you, as long as you’re in my life, I already have everything. Kids or no kids. I _really_ mean that.  _If_  we happen to get pregnant, I would be incredibly happy.”

“You would be happy if we had a baby?” he asks, perking up a little.

You start to laugh and reach out for John’s hand, “Are you kidding me? Of course I would. Having a tiny version of you running around the house is honestly the cutest thing to think about.”

“Well, what if we do have kids and I’m a bad dad? I couldn’t even change Harper’s diaper yesterday. You were so good and natural with her, you knew exactly what to do.”

You brush his hair out of his face and smile at him. The sun is shining in the window, and his eyes look so warm, the freckles on his nose and cheeks are much more visible and you stare at him for a minute –- in awe again.

“Okay, well I’ll let you in on a secret…I used to babysit my cousin all the time when I was like 15, so of course I know how to change a diaper. I don’t expect you to know how to do any of this stuff. You’ve probably never even been around a baby before.”

“I hadn’t. Well, there were a few Christmases I spent with Helen’s family, but they didn’t have any babies. I’m still convinced that you’re naturally good at all this baby stuff though. Me, on the other hand, I’m just bad.”

“John, you’re not. You were so good with Benji  _and_ with Harper. You were a lot more natural than you think. You gave her a little kiss…very dad-like.” you wink, and he starts to smile. “After you fed her, I didn’t even have to tell you to sit her up and burp her, you did that on your own.”

“I did?” he asks, and you can see how proud he is of himself.

“You did. And at the park when Benji almost fell, you were  _right_  there to catch him, those assassin reflexes really kicked in.” you say, and you both start to laugh. “Seriously though, when the wind blew hard, you protected both Harper and I. You made sure to hold Benji’s hand when you crossed the street. I mean come on, you heard Harper crying and I didn’t. John, you would be an  _amazing_  dad.”

“You think so?” he cups your cheek and smiles.

“Yes, absolutely.  _But_ …” you tap your finger on his nose as you back away, “If it happens, it happens.”

“I know, I know.” he laughs.

“Are you still okay with that?” you ask, and a little part of you is worried he isn’t.

“Like you said, as long as I have you.” he reaches out for you again and presses a delicate kiss to your lips.

“Oh!” you reach into your back pocket and grab your phone, “While we’re on the subject of kiddos.”

“Kiddos…” he starts to laugh.

“I took this little gem last night. Very cute, Mr. Wick.” you turn your phone and show John the picture of him and Harper asleep on the couch. “Again,  _very_  dad-like. Look at her, she felt so comfortable with you, she’s just zonked out on your chest, and you were out like a light until I sat down. I’ll admit I was a  _little_  jealous when I saw how much she liked you.”

He reaches into his pocket and swipes through his phone and shows you the picture he took of you and Harper, “Oh, she loved you though. Very mom-like.”

You smile when you see the picture of you and Harper, it’s just the silhouette of you two but your heart melts. Burying your face in his chest, you feel John tap your ass to get your attention and you look up at him. He presses his lips to yours a few times and lets go of you, moving to the coffee maker and freshening up his cup.

“What are you doing today?” he asks and leans against the counter across from you. He takes a small drink and offers you some. You take a small sip and stick out your tongue in disgust when you remember he drinks it black, and John tries to hold in a laugh.

“Well, I  _really_  wish I was taking a nap, to be honest. You kinda wore me out this morning.” you say, as you start to yawn.

“Well, why don’t we just stay in? I can go grocery shopping later, but for now we can just watch a movie, how does that sound? I can order us some take out, and you can just lay in bed all day. I’ll even paint your nails for you!”

“You are very good at that and honestly, I could use a new color and coat.” you sigh and look at your hands. “And I would love that more than  _anything_ , but Tess texted me this morning and wants to come over. She said she needs to talk to me about something and apparently, it’s  _incredibly_ important.” you laugh, walking over to get a bottle of water.

“Uh oh, cold feet?” John jokes.

You swirl the water around in your mouth, trying to get rid of the taste of coffee and shake your head, “Definitely not. Growing up, Tess was always dating someone new and she ended up finding something that was wrong with every single one of them. I remember there was once a guy who she dumped because she didn’t like the way his hands looked. I’ll admit they were a little weird.”

John puts his hands up, looking them over and practically shoves them in your face, “What do you think about mine?”

Rolling your eyes, you reach out and take his hands in yours, “They’re good, John. We’ve had this discussion before.”

“I know…I just want you to suck on my finger again.” he says, staring at you with a smile on his face. You open your mouth, and he slowly inserts his finger and laughs when you lean away and it falls out of your mouth.

“ _Anyway_ ,” you say, rolling your eyes again. “I’ve  _never_  seen her like she is with Jimmy. She loves him a lot. Clearly, since they literally got engaged right away, but I think it’ll work out with them.”

“He loves  _her_  a lot.” he nods.

“Good, I really,  _really_ like him. He’s a goofball, he brings out that side in Tess too, and it makes me happy to see her so happy, genuinely happy. She really just deserves everything, I love her to death. Plus, you seem to like him a lot, so he’s automatically a good guy in my book.”

“Yeah, he’s probably my closest friend. I don’t have many of those, well…any, really.”

“Not hard to see why.” you look down, shaking your head, immediately regretting your choice of words. “Sorry. I just mean with your job…it’s hard to trust people, I’m sure.”

He starts to laugh and takes a sip of coffee, “Yeah.”

“Is he your best friend?” you ask, teasing John and poking his stomach.

“No,” he shakes his head and smiles, “You are.”

“You can have more than one best friend, Jonathan.”

“Well, you’re still my best friend. But yeah, I guess he is.”

“That’s so fucking cute. Did you two hang out a lot…before Tess and I came along?” you start to smile when you realize how much you’ve changed both of their lives.

“Yeah, quite a bit. I would go over to his apartment, have a beer and watch some game on TV. I’m not big into sports, but it was nice to be around someone who didn’t constantly ask questions.”

“I can see that.” you nod.

“Whenever there was a…” John looks around, trying to find the right words, “… _noise complaint_ , Jimmy was the first on sight. He always knew how to handle the situation. Usually, he just saw what was going on and then he just left.”

“Because he was probably scared of you. I can’t imagine coming here and just seeing bodies on the floor.” you say and widen your eyes in shock in realization. “ _Oh God,_  I’ve never thought about that.”

“What?” he asks and sets his cup down on the counter.

“People have… _died_ in our house. Like,” you look around the kitchen, then back to John, “In here.”

John stares at you, trying to figure out how you’re going to react. “What do you think?”

“Well, someone broke into your house, beat the shit out of you-–”

“Okay, they didn’t beat the shit out of me.” he puts his hands up, laughing.

You laugh a little and shake your head, “Well, they killed your puppy, and then they stole your car. Then, because apparently that wasn’t enough, a bunch of men broke into your house  _again_  and tried to kill you…so as far as I’m concerned, they deserved it.”

The room is silent for a few minutes, and you watch John as he looks at the ground, seemingly lost in thought.

“So, did you hang out with Jimmy a lot when you were, uh…” you stop talking, hoping John knows what you mean.

He sighs and shakes his head, “Before, no. I spent most of my time with her.  _A lot_  happened after. He came over a few times for some noise complaints, an occasional gas leak…”

“Gas leak?” you laugh, and John shrugs.

“I bumped into him at the store one day. Thought it was time to stop hiding from everything and everyone. We started hanging out a lot more, even if it was just going out and grabbing a beer at some bar.”

“Did he set you up on dates?” you ask and watch as John’s cheek turn pink under his beard.

“Yeah, he did. They were always terrible. I went on one or two after I met you, which were awful. Mostly because I only had one person on my mind.” he says and points at you.

“Oh, yes, the Instagram girls. Look, I like Jen. She’s nice and she genuinely seems to be happy for you.”

“Yeah, she was nice, but there was nothing there, we both knew that. She was really cool about it.”

“But this Rachel…can’t take a hint, I guess.”

“Yeah, she doesn’t realize that I’m not interested. I never was interested, to be honest. She friended me on there after our first date, and I decided to give it another chance, it still didn’t work out. She was definitely  _not_ my type. Jimmy and I just have…very different taste.”

“What does that mean?” you ask, brow furrowing.

“There’s nothing wrong with Tess, and even she is completely different from the women he set me up with. I think he just really wanted to…” John stops talking, and you raise eyebrows, even more intrigued now.

“Get you laid?”

John starts to laugh loudly and covers his face with his hands, “Yeah, pretty much.”

“Well, did he?” you ask, and you know you’re embarrassing him. “Did he get you laid, Jonathan?”

He removes his hands from his face and stares at you again, giving you the shivers. “No, he didn’t.”

“Liar, I don’t believe you.” you laugh and shake your head, “You’re just trying to spare my feelings.”

He moves to stand in front of you, and you wrap your arms around his waist. “I’m not lying, I’m being completely honest. After Helen, there was no one. No one I was even  _interested_  in, not even in the slightest. Until you. Jimmy kept setting me up on dates though, trying to find the perfect person for me again. Then one day, I mentioned the girl across the street and how beautiful I thought she was, and he encouraged me to talk to you. He said you could be my second chance at love.”

“Yeah?” You start to smile, leaning up to kiss John’s cheek but he moves and meets your lips instead.

“Yeah, he said you were cute.” John laughs and you blush a little at the thought of John and Jimmy talking about you. “He would purposely come over more often and try to give me pep talks. I tried to talk to you one day, but I chickened out.”

“Wait, wait, wait.” you put your hand up to stop him and point at him. “Jonathan Wick, Mr. King of the Assassin World, chickened out on talking to me, plain Jane, girl next door?”

“First of all, you are  _not_ plain, and I’m not the king.”

“Shut up, yes you are. When you told me everything, you literally told me that you’re the best in the business. That was literally  _all_  you told me.”

John starts to laugh and crosses his arms over his chest, “Okay well, you were outside struggling to bring groceries inside. I remember you dropped the bag with eggs in it and yelled ‘fuck’ really loud. I should have helped you –- I was planning on it, but some guy came out and helped you instead. Figured you were already dating someone, it wouldn’t have surprised me. I mean…” he takes a few steps back and gestures to your whole body.

“Some guy?” you say and try your hardest to think of who it could be.

“April’s younger brother.”  he says and you nod.

“Stalker.” you say, teasing.

“I was not stalking you, I was checking my mail. Jimmy had finally convinced me to talk to you, so I thought bumping into you at the mailbox was a good idea.”

“You didn’t want to talk to me? Jimmy had to convince you talk to me? Jonathan, I’m offended.” you laugh.

“No, I wanted to talk to you. I did, trust me. But I just thought that there was _no way_  that a woman like you would want anything to do with a guy like me. You had your life together, you were always laughing and smiling when I saw you, you seemed so happy all the time.”

You burst out laughing and almost fall to the ground from laughing so hard, “You thought I had my life together? Are you kidding me?”

“You do have your life together.”

“John, I was living with two roommates, I have a job at a book shop and my pay is shit. My car was literally falling apart from under me. Half the time, I couldn’t even remember what I had for dinner. And…I’m not too proud to say, but I slept with a night light.”

“You slept with a night light?” he says, smiling.

“Yes, I slept with a night light.” you repeat, and John immediately reaches out and hugs you.

“That’s so cute, why did you sleep with a night light?”

“Ya know,  _the boogeyman_.” you say and smirk at John. “I was just always scared of the dark when I was little, I think it had to do with how creepy our basement was.”

“You don’t sleep with a night light now.” John says, and you lean back against the counter again.

“I don’t need to now because I have you, and also because uh, you  _are_  the boogeyman and I’m literally sleeping with you.” you say, laughing and John reaches out to hug you again. “I can’t believe you thought that I had my life together and that’s why you didn’t want to talk to me.”

“Well, that and also being with me would only cause you pain.”

“Pain?” you furrow your brow and tilt your head a little.

“My life is a kind of complicated, you know, with my job. You worry about me constantly, worry if I’m okay. I’m good at my job, but I understand why you worry,” he sighs, shaking his head. “I’ve had a lot of close calls. I didn’t even know if I wanted to risk it and put you through all of that.”

You smile softly at John and he presses his lips to your forehead, keeping them there for a moment.

“But when I saw you outside the day we met, that’s when I came up with the bookbinding story. I mean, I do bind books, you know that, but it’s obviously not my only job. I just couldn’t keep myself away from you anymore, I  _had_ to talk to you. I needed you in my life.”

He starts to frown, and you know he’s thinking about how he lied to you and how hurt you were when you found out. Yes, of course at the time it fucking sucked, but you’re past it now. You reach out to caress John’s cheek, and he closes his eyes as your fingers trace over his face.

“Stop thinking about it,” you say and rest your hands on his pecs. “It’s in the past.”

“I hurt you.” he frowns and his voice begins to break. “See, I’ve caused you pain. More than once.”

You wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him close to hug you. “John, stop.” John sniffles a little and leans back to look at you. You wipe away a small tear slipping out of his eye and smile at him. “You’re going to make me cry, you know that?”

He buries his face in the crook of your neck and exhales. “I love you. You have given me a second chance, by the way. I don’t think I would have fallen in love again if I hadn’t met you.”

“Don’t say that!” you frown a little at the thought of John never falling in love again. “You would have found someone.”

“I only wanted you.”

“Well, you got me.” you laugh.

“I do.” he says, leaning down to kiss the top of your head. You close your eyes as his lips press against your forehead. “I still remember the first time I ever saw you. Back before we ever even met.”

“You do not.” you say, laughing.

He nods, pressing another kiss to your forehead. “I do, you were outside with April, but she went inside for something, so you were all alone and when I walked past, you smiled and waved at me. You were wearing a blue striped shirt and jean shorts, and your hair was a mess on top of your head. I thought you were the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen.”

“John, stop. You’re killing me.”

“I wanted to know everything about you. Everylittle detail. What side of the bed you sleep on, how you take your coffee, the way your lips taste in the morning, the way you’d sound moaning my name.  _Everything.”_ he starts to laugh andrubs your back gently. “I decided to take Bleu for extra walks after that, just so I could see you.”

“So, do you know all of those details?” you ask, raising an eyebrow.

“You sleep on the right side since I sleep on the left, but you tend to take over the whole bed sometimes, which is funny because it’s a king size bed. I don’t mind though, I just wrap my arms around you.”

“That’s my way of saying I want you to hold me.” you say, and John starts to smile.

“You don’t like coffee, but you drink it sometimes, only when you’re super tired and usually with a lot of sugar. Your lips…” he leans close, kissing you, “Taste amazing. Morning, noon, and night.”

“And how do I sound moaning your name?”

He tilts his head back, closing his eyes, “Music to my ears.”

John looks back down at you, staring attentively before leaning in to kiss you. His lips are soft and warm, and they taste like coffee. His hands are in your hair, and when you pull away, he pulls you back in and kisses you relentlessly. His kisses slow down, and he takes a deep breath as he leans back. You open your eyes and watch him, his eyes are still closed and he sighs blissfully.

“Can I admit something?” you ask, quietly.

John starts to smile, nodding his head. “Yes.”

“I don’t remember  _that_  day…but I do remember  _one_  of the first times I saw you.”

“You do?” he says and you nod your head. “Wait, you saw me more than once and never talked to me?”

You hang your head in shame, laughing. “Listen, you are _so_ gorgeous. I was terrified of you. Completely terrified and so damn intimidated.”

“What?” he says, laughing loudly.

“Yes! Seriously, you’re very intimidating, you still are sometimes. I thought the same thing about you. How the fuck is a guy like  _that_  ever going to be interested in me? Your house, your car, just you, _everything_ about you was so perfect.”

John rolls his eyes playfully and waves it off. “So, tell me about one of the times you saw me.”

“You were taking Bleu for a walk, it was hot out and you were sweaty.  _God_ , you were so sweaty.” you close your eyes, remembering that day, and you shiver when you feel an ache between your legs. “You reached up to wipe the sweat off your forehead with the sleeve of your shirt and your tattoo peeked out. I thought it was the hottest thing ever.”

John lifts the sleeve of his shirt, flexing and showing off his tattoo. “You like my tattoos?”

“I do.” you laugh and press a kiss to the cross on his bicep. “The dog on your left shoulder, that’s Bleu.”

“It’s not.” he laughs.

“It is now.” you say, laughing.

“You’re giving my tattoos new meanings?”

“Yup!” you say, hopping a little.

“Okay then, thanks.”

“Anyway, I would purposely take my time going to the mailbox every day, just hoping I would see you and I did see you a few times, but you were always leaving in your car so I never got the chance to say anything. But I realized that you always took Bleu for a walk at the same time and the same route every day which makes sense now.So…I convinced the girls that the front yard got the most sun, which it does, but it was mostly because I wanted to see you every day.”

Your gazes meet, and John smiles as he hugs you tight to his chest. “That’s so cute.”

“I definitely remember the first day we met. I literally screamed when I got back inside because you talked to me and touched me. You shook my hand, but wouldn’t let go.”

“Yeah…sorry,” he chuckles and grabs your hand. “They’re just so tiny compared to mine.”

You watch your fingers intertwine with his and smile. “They fit together well, don’t they?”

“We do.” he says, leaning down to kiss you.

“You’re so fucking cheesy, I honestly love it.” Your phone beeps, and you look down to see a text from Tess, letting you know she’s heading over. “Tess is on her way.”

John moves away to pour out of his coffee cup and turns around to lean against the counter.

“So, what are youdoing today, Jonathan?”

“Nothing.” John sighs and moves to lean next to you, resting on his right arm. “I’ll just hide downstairs while you two talk. Just work on some books.”

“John, you don’t have to _hide_.” you laugh, scooting closer to rest your head against his shoulder.

“Well, maybe she wants to talk about… _personal_ stuff.” his cheeks grow red and you laugh.

“What do you consider personal stuff?”

“I don’t know, like…sex stuff.” John starts to squirm, and you stand in front of him, wrapping your arms around his waist again.

“Oh, like…penis sizes?” you tease.

His hands engulf your back, and you feel the warmth even through your shirt. “Yeah, like  _penis_  sizes.”

“Your cheeks are red…are you embarrassed, Mr. Wick?” you raise an eyebrow and smirk.

“A little. Only because we’re talking about Tess. If it was us, I wouldn’t be.”

You start to laugh and roll your eyes. “Well, I can guarantee it’s about wedding stuff.”

You turn around and walk out into the living room, expecting Tess at any moment. Almost on cue, you see her pull into the driveway. John stands near the basement steps and waits as you open the door, letting Tess in.

“Hey, you two.” she says as she takes off her coat.

“Hey, Tess. Okay, let me know if you need anything, I’m just downstairs.” John reaches out and hugs you, pressing a quick kiss to your lips and patting your ass lightly before closing the door.

“What’s his deal?” Tess laughs.

“He thinks you want to talk about  _personal_  stuff.” you roll your eyes.

She starts to laugh loudly, putting her hand over her heart, “He is so cute. I love him.”

You sit on the couch and Tess follows. “So, what  _do_  you want to talk about?”

“Wedding stuff, obviously.” she laughs. “I got the call this morning that your dress is already in which makes sense since yours literally needed no alterations, so I picked it up. Shit, let me go get it. I don’t know where my mind has been lately.”

Tess hops up and runs out the front door. You notice Bleu sitting next to the door to the basement and you get up to check on him.

“Hi, baby. You miss daddy?” you lean down and pet him. He whimpers and stands up as you open the door.

Tess comes back in with your dress and insists that you put it on again. “Please. I want to see it on you again. And with some shoes this time. Yes, I bought shoes for you.” she hands you a box and you open them to see a pair of Ivory colored pumps.

You give her an exaggerated groan and go to the bathroom to get dressed. When you walk out, Tess almost screams with delight. “Seriously, you look so good. If John doesn’t faint at the sight of you…”

“Stop.” you start to blush, covering your face with your hand.

You hear John’s feet on the steps and the basement door opens, “Sorry, I’m just going to take Bleu for a walk. Don’t mind me.” He waves his hands over his face, trying to pretend he’s invisible. He tries to hook Bleu’s leash to his collar, but he runs over to Tess and John finally sees you. “Oh.”

“It’s just a bridesmaids dress, John.” you say, shaking your head.

He clears his throat and walks over to you, “I know, but you look beautiful.”

You look over at Tess and she’s covering her mouth with her hand, still in shock.

“You two are  _very_  weird.” you say and point at both Tess and John.

“Tess, I’m sorry, but I have to kiss her right now.” John wraps one arm around your shoulder and the other around your waist, pulling you to him. He presses small kisses to your lips and moves to your neck, making a loud chomping noise, his beard tickles you and causes you to laugh loudly.

“Stop.” you laugh and squirm in his arms, but he keeps a tight grip on you.

“You look amazing, baby.” he whispers in your ear, giving you chills.

“Thank you.” you smile at him when he finally backs away.

“I’ll be back in a bit.” he says, backing away and when he gets to the door, he turns around and blows a kiss to you. “I love you.”

Tess still has her hand over her mouth, and she slowly removes it as she tries to find the words. She opens her mouth several times, but nothing comes out. Finally, she shakes her head and spits out a few words, “He is…”

“I know, he’s weird.” you shake your head, walking back to the bathroom.

“No, he is  _so_  in love with you.”


	34. Chapter 34

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **warnings:** none

Coming out of the bathroom, you watch Tess as she holds up a picture of you and John. Her fingers lightly brush over the frame as she smiles, and you’re surprised when she wipes away a tear. Clearing your throat to let her know you’re finished changing, she jumps and turns to face you.

“Okay, seriously…does he have enough pictures of the two of you?” Tess asks, holding up frames in each hand and trying to deflect from the fact that you can see tears on her face. “One of you two, one of you and Bleu…there’s probably more in your room and in his office.”

She’s right, there are pictures  _everywhere_ , just what John wanted. He is constantly taking pictures, no matter what you’re doing. Reading, watching TV, cooking, it doesn’t matter -–  John is always there with a camera. You’re sure it has something to do with Helen. She was a photographer, so she was always taking pictures. It must have rubbed off on John, and you can’t complain, it’s sweet. No matter how big or small a moment is, John wants to save the memory.

You stand on your tiptoes to hang your dress up on the bathroom door and laugh, “What happened to ‘he’s so in love with you’?”

“I’m just jealous, ignore me.” she huffs.

“Oh, whatever, Jimmy loves you. I’m sure he has a picture of you on his desk at work.” you say and sit down on the couch, watching as she stares at the picture of you and John. “Probably has a picture of the two of you as his background on his phone.”

“Yeah, but John and you have such a  _deep_  love.” she says, just above a whisper.

“Tess, it’s just…different. Think about it: John had been hiding half of his life from me. His job is everything to him, it’s part of who he is and he hid that from me. Imagine how fucking scared he was to even tell me, to tell me that he literally kills people for a living. And when he did tell me, he was fully ready for me to just leave him behind, but I didn’t and I never would. Of course we have a deep love, but it’s because of our situation. We have a very…unique situation. I really can’t think of any other word but listen, it’s just  _different_.”

“I know, but I don’t think you’ll ever get sick of each other or fight.”

“Oh, trust me, we’ve fought.” you say, laughing.

“Yeah, but that was before  _everything_  was out in the open.” she exhales, pushing her hair out of her face and wiping tears away, “He’ll never get over how beautiful you are, he’ll never want anyone but you. You two get along so fucking well.”

You pat the spot next to you and stretch out your hand, “Tess, it seems like you have something on your mind.”

She starts to cry harder and plops down next to you, “What if I marry Jimmy and everything changes? What if I’m not who he wants after a while? What if he gets sick of me being so bossy?” She starts to chuckle then stops, “What if he falls out of love with me?”

“Tess.”

“I just…I  _really_ love him. When I first met him, I really never thought anything of it. I thought maybe he’d be like, a one night stand or something, but he’s so different from anyone I’ve ever met. He’s kind, sweet, and funny. He’s way too good for me.”

“This is where I’m stopping you.” you say and place your hand firmly on her shoulder, “Tess, he  _loves_ you,andyou love him. John and I were just talking about this earlier. Talking about how much you two love each other. He’s goofy as hell, and he brings that out in you, he’s so happy with you.”

She sighs, wiping away a tear. “Is it wrong that I think like this sometimes?”

“Absolutely not, I do the same. I wonder what the hell John sees in me. He could have  _anyone_  in the world and for some really, _really_ strange reason, he chose me. I’ll never understand it. I’m waiting for this all to blow up in my face, to be honest.”

“Shut up, he’s crazy about you.” Tess laughs and wipes away another tear. “The way he just reacted to seeing you in a fucking bridesmaids dress, are you kidding me? He’s so in love with you.”

You shake your head, reaching out for her hand. “This isn’t about John and I. This is about  _you_. Trust me, Jimmy is so in love with you. I can see it. John can see it.” You scoot closer to her and you both lean back on the couch, propping your feet up on the coffee table. “Did you know the day he proposed, he showed me up here first?”

“He did?”

“Yeah, he asked for my blessing.” you start to laugh and turn to her, “Told me how he was so in love with you, and how he wanted to spend the rest of his life with you. He even teared up a little.”

Tess’ eyes fill with tears and she reaches out to hug you, “I didn’t know that.”

You can’t help but cry and you pull back to look at her, “He loves you so much, and I do too. I would tell you to never doubt your relationship, but I’m not really one to talk since I do it all the time.”

“Yeah, but you  _really_  shouldn’t. He’s _so_  fucking in love with you.” she says and you laugh and start to shake your head. “Seriously, the way he looks at you…the way  _you_  look at him. The way he touches you like you’re made of glass, he’s so gentle with you. John is completely head over heels in love with you, and even Jimmy said he’s never seen him like this before.”

“Anyway,” you say and try to change the subject back to her, “I’m really glad you found Jimmy, I really like him. I’m just really glad that you found someone to spend your life with.”

“I’m glad you did too.” she nods to John as he walks up the driveway.

You watch as he throws the ball for Bleu, and John starts to smile when Bleu quickly brings the ball back to him and patiently waits for him to throw it again. The sun is shining, and John slowly closes his eyes, tilting his head up a little to feel the sun on his face.

Tess shifts on the couch and pulls out a baby toy from between the couch cushions. “What the hell? You have a kid that I’m not aware of?”

“No, we babysat last night for John’s friend, Aurelio.” you start to laugh.

“Oh, I know Aurelio. He’s friends with Jimmy.”

“They’re all friends?” you jolt your head back a little in shock, then nod. “Makes sense.”

“How did that go?” Tess asks and folds her legs under her.

“It was fun. An eight month old and a six year old.”

“Ooh, that must have been rough on John.” she laughs, wincing.

“Actually, he was  _really_  good with them. At first, he was so nervous and like, almost in tears when I asked him to hold the baby, but…” you pull out your phone, showing her the picture of John and Harper. “He was really good with her and with Benji. To be honest, after a while, he was a total natural.”

“Stop it, that’s so cute. Do you think you’ll have kids?”

You both stop talking when you hear the door open and you watch John as he wipes his shoes off. He quickly plugs his ears when he sees the two of you staring at him, “Sorry! I’m leaving.”

“You’re fine, John.” you say and part of you hopes he’ll stay upstairs.

“Get out of here!” Tess jokes, shaking her fist in the air.

John starts to laugh and you watch as he hides away in the basement again. You turn back to Tess and she’s smiling.

“So…you think you’ll have kids?” Tess asks again.

You sigh and try to hide the smile that’s tugging at your lips, “We talked about it. We just decided that if it happens, we’ll be happy. If it doesn’t, we’ll be happy. As long as we have each other, we don’t really care.”

“But…”

“But he would make an  _amazing_  dad and honestly, I would love to have a family with him.” you say and hide your face in your hands, “If it happens.”

“I hope it happens, you two would make great parents. And your babies would be gorgeous.” she says as she nudges your shoulder, and you feel your cheeks growing warm.

“What about you and Jimmy? I’m sure you’ve talked about this already.”

“Oh, I want babies! I’m obviously the only child and he doesn’t have any siblings, so he wants kids. How many is still to be determined.” she starts to laugh and puts the baby toy on the table. “I have an important question, and please feel free to say no…”

“Okay.” You nod and look at her carefully.

“We decided to have something small…Jimmy’s parents, a couple other family members of his and a few of the people from the station. You know my family won’t come…I’m surprised they even came to the party we had. So, it’ll just be mom and Dan. Leah is  _definitely_ not invited.” she laughs and shakes her head.

“You don’t want a big wedding? I thought that was your  _dream_. All eyes on you.” you say, and Tess rolls her eyes.

“I thought I did, but I don’t really care about that.” she says, shrugging. “We just want the people who matter to us and mostly, we just want to party.”

“Wait, what’s your question?”

“Seriously, you can say no, but…can we have it here? Your patio is perfect. We can hang some lights up and wrap some around the trees, we can rent some tables and stuff.” she gets up and walks over to the window, looking out at the patio. “You can say no.”

“I would say yes, but it’s not my house.” you shrug and sit cross-legged on the couch.

“Yes, it is. He asked you to move in.” she laughs.

“Yeah, but it’s not  _mine._..I don’t pay for anything.”

Tess starts to laugh even louder and sits down next you again. “Even if you had a shit ton of money, do you really think he’d let you pay for anything?”

_She’s right, you know he wouldn’t._

“Fine. Do you want me to go get him? Or I can ask him?” you stand up and look at Tess as she nods. “I’ll be right back.”

You happily skip down the stairs and see John at his work bench with Bleu at his feet. John is slouched over a book, pure focus as he carefully threads the needle through the pages.

“Hi, baby.” you look at Bleu and wave.

“Hi.” John says without turning his back.

“…I was talking to Bleu.”

John turns around and frowns, “Oh.”

You wrap your arms around his neck and smile, “Hi, baby.”

He buries his face in your chest and pulls you closer, sliding his hands to one of his favorite places –- your ass. “Hey, peach.”

“What?” you laugh and pull back to look at John.

He squeezes your ass tight in both hands and laughs, “Peach. You know, because your ass is as round as a peach.”

You tilt your head up as you think it through, then look back at him as you nod, “Hmm, yeah, I like it.”

“Good.” he says, leaning forward to kiss you.

“So, how’s it goin’?” you ask and feel overwhelmed just by looking at the book and all the tools laying around.

“Good. Still have a long way to go. Did Tess leave already?” he asks, pressing a kiss to your cheek.

With John sitting down, you’re a little taller than him and you lean your cheek against his forehead, which is covered in sweat. The basement is hot and stuffy, and it makes you wonder why John never brings a fan down here.

“No, I was sent down here to either ask you a question, or bring you back upstairs. She didn’t specify, but…”

“What’s the question?” he asks and wipes sweat off his forehead, leaving behind an ink mark.

You smile when you see it and look down to meet his gaze, “Oh, I’m not asking. She is.”

“Okay, well lets go.” he stands up, and you crane your neck to keep eye contact with him.

“Um, okay. You can say no, by the way. Don’t feel obligated to say yes just because I’m here and you want to please me.”

You walk up the stairs knowing John is behind you, so you sway your hips a little more and feel his hand on your ass. You turn around to sit down on the steps, and John leans down close to your face and kisses you.

“I just wanna keep kissing you.” you say, frowning a little.

“You’re all mine later.”

The stairs are dark, but from the crack of light coming from under the door, you can see John’s eyes, dark and smoldering. He licks his lips and leans back in, sucking on your neck, and you know he’s leaving a small red mark. You let out a small moan when you feel his tongue against your skin, and John starts to laugh when you reach for his pants.

“We are  _not_  having sex on the basement steps.” John says as he starts to laugh. You frown a little and he leans forward to kiss your cheek.

He pulls back and prepares to attack you, hands at the ready to grab you. You stare at him for a moment, smiling tugging at your lips, and you yelp when he lunges forward a little and the two of you almost tumble up the stairs and into the hallway, laughing. He wraps his arms around your stomach and lifts you up, pressing kisses to your cheek.

“Jonathan Wick, put me down!” you scream and kick your feet as you both laugh.

“Fine.” he groans and finally sets you back down.

Brushing your hair out of your face, you look up and see Tess watching the two of you with a smile on her face. John sits down on the chair across from Tess and wipes his hands on his jeans, which are covered in ink and glue.

“So, I heard you have a question for me…” he says, and his voice gives you goosebumps.

You sit down next to Tess and shrug, “I figured you should ask…”

Tess laughs and rolls her eyes. “Okay, seriously. You can say no.”

“Okay.” John nods.

“We just want a small wedding, only a few people. I was wondering…could we have it here? Again, you can say no.”

You watch John’s face as he thinks it through, and a smile tugs at his lips and he looks at Tess, then looks at you. “What was your answer?”

“I told her to ask you, it’s not my house.”

“Not your house?” he says, furrowing his brow.

“Yeah, it’s  _your_  house.” you laugh and look back and forth between him and Tess. John sighs and shakes his head, looking at you, but doesn’t say anything. “John-–” you start to talk, but Tess cuts you off.

“We can find somewhere else to get married, it’s not a big deal. It was just a suggestion.”

“You can have it here.  _We_ …would love for you to have it here.” John says, standing up and walks into the kitchen.

Leaning back on the couch, you catch a glimpse of John drinking coffee and shaking his head again. You let out a laugh and look at Tess, “Well…guess you’re having your wedding here.”

“Do you think he’s mad?” Tess whispers and starts biting her nail. “I shouldn’t have asked, I crossed a line. I know he probably hates people in his house…do you think he’s mad?

You shrug and sigh, “Don’t worry about it. If he is, it’s my problem, not yours.”

“Well,” she says and looks around the room, trying to find something else to focus on. “It’s your birthday in a few weeks. Any plans?”

“Nope.” you say, shaking your head.

“John isn’t flying you to some incredible island he probably owns?”

You start to laugh and shake your head again, “He doesn’t own an island -– well as far as I know, he doesn’t.”

“We can go out to dinner. Just me, you, and April. Leave the boys at home.” she laughs.

“Sounds like fun to me.” you nod, smiling.

“I’m going to head across the street, I have April’s dress and I want to see her in it too.” she says, hopping up from the couch, and you walk with Tess to the door and she hugs you. Leaning in close, she whispers, “Seriously, if he’s mad at you…let me know. We don’t have to the wedding here.”

“It’ll be fine. I’ll see you later.”

You shut the door behind Tess and watch as she pulls out of the driveway. You don’t know what it was that upset John, maybe that you put it on him to make the decision, maybe the idea of having people he doesn’t know in his house. You sigh and head into the kitchen, preparing for an argument with John. You’re nervous, and your hands start to shake as you get closer to the kitchen.

_Here goes nothing._


	35. Chapter 35

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **warnings:** smut galore

Peeking around the corner, you see John sitting in the bay window, and his face is hard to read as he looks over his shoulder out the window. He looks incredibly beautiful, his usually neat hair is a little damp with sweat and the ink mark on his forehead is still there, it’s cute and you find yourself smiling, but it quickly fades when you remember he’s upset with you.

With a loud sigh, you make your way into the kitchen and Bleu perks up, wagging his tail when he sees you and John looks over at you. You cautiously walk over to him and stand a few feet from him.

“Hi.” you say, giving him a small wave.

“Hey,” he looks down and notices that you wringing your hands together. “You don’t have to be nervous.”

“Aren’t you mad at me?” you ask, leaning against the counter.

John starts walking over to you, and you slowly back away, which he notices and you watch all the color drain from his face. He freezes in place and looks at you in shock, “Are you scared of me?”

“No, I…” you shake your head and look down at the floor, and when you look back at John, he’s still staring at you and you can see how hurt he is.

He cautiously takes a step forward and watches for your reaction, you hold your breath and he stops again, “You are. You’re scared of me.”

“I’m not!” you say, firmly.

“Why are you backing away from me?”

“I don’t know,” you shrug and frown a little more, “I just know you’re mad at me.”

“I’m not mad at you!” he says, a little too harsh and you wince. He sighs and stuffs his hands into his pockets, “I’m sorry. I’m not mad at you, baby.”

“You’re not?” You inch your way closer to him, and John moves to close the gap between the two of you.

“Of course not.” he smiles a little, but it fades when your gazes meet. “I just don’t understand why you don’t think this is your house. Kinda hurts my feelings.”

“Ooh, _that’s_  why you’re upset with me. I knew I said something wrong.”

“I asked you to move, I told you I wanted you here with me, and you still don’t think of this as your home?” he asks, reaching out for your hand but stops himself from grabbing it.

You notice and scoot closer, resting your head on his chest. “No, I do.”

“Then why did you make Tess ask me?”

“Because…” you try to find the right words but fail.

“Because this isn’t your home?” he sighs.

“It’s my home, but it’s not my  _house_.”

John leans back a little to look down at you, and he furrows his brow, trying not to smile, “How does that make  _any_  sense?”

“You don’t let me pay for anything, I feel like I’m just… _existing_  in your space.”

“You don’t think of this as your house because I don’t let you pay for things?” he says, chuckling, and you melt at the sound of his laugh.

“Yeah.” you say, just above a whisper, and John finally wraps his arms around you.

“You’re kidding?”

You shake your head and look up at him, “Let me pay for something, I wanna help out around here.”

“You do help out. You help me clean the dishes, you help me take Bleu for walks, you help me with laundry. You obviously clean the house when I’m gone.”

“No,  _you_  do all of those things and I stand there watching you. And when you’re gone, I literally use three rooms: the bathroom, the kitchen, and our bedroom.” you sigh loudly and try to move out of his arms but his grip on you tightens, “You’re irritating me right now.”

“Oh, I’m irritating  _you._ ” John starts to laugh, and you roll your eyes at him. “Fine, what do you want to pay for?”

“I don’t know, what bills do we have?” you ask, and John takes your hand, leading you to his office.

“Well,” he pushes the door open, and you stand in front of his desk with your arms crossed as he digs through a pile of papers. “Electric, water, the lawn service,” He puts the bills on his desk, and you almost faint when you see the electric bill. “You want to pay one of those?”

“Um…” you look up and see him smiling, trying his hardest to hold in a laugh. “To be honest, no, and we need to stop using the lights so much. Look at this bill, it’s ridiculous.”

“What are we going to do? Sit in the dark? _Stop worrying about money_ , it’s okay.” he walks around his desk and wraps his arms around you. “How about when we order take out, you pay for it?”

“We order from the same three places and they all have  _your_  card information on file, and even if I paid in cash, I know you’d sneak money into my purse, which you have done multiple times now. I don’t just carry around fifty dollar bills, so I know it was you.” you say and watch as John starts to laugh. “I have a job –- again, my pay is shit -– but I just don’t want you to think I’m like…some gold digger, like I’m just using you for your money or something.”

“Oh, I know you’re not. Anytime I spend money on you, you do this. If it was up to me, I would want you to quit your job and just always be here with me. Maybe we should  _both_  quit our jobs and just travel.” he says, raising his eyebrows.

“No! I love my job, and I know you like yours. Besides, I don’t  _want_  you to quit your job.” you laugh and stand on your tiptoes to kiss John. “I just can’t believe how much it costs to maintain this house. Maybe we should move and just get an apartment, or a smaller house at least.”

John’s eyes widen in shock and he shakes his head fast, “No! I love this house.”

You look up at John and nod, understanding why he loves this house so much. He lived here with Helen, it was their home. It’s where they made all their memories. He starts to shake his head and wraps his arms around you tighter.

“I lived here before her, so that thought that I  _know_  is brewing in your head, push it away.” he says and pokes your forehead.

“Was she like this when she moved in?”

John shrugs and laughs, “A little. But you are  _so_ much worse. You’re so damn stubborn.” he leans close and kisses your forehead. “I love that about you, though.”

“I get why you love this house. This is where you made all of your memories with her, and your memories with me. This is your home.”

“This is _our_ home, whether you pay for things or not.” His voice is firm, and you know not to argue with him, because you’re not going to win this argument. “You don’t have to ask for my permission.  _Ever_.”

“Okay.” you look up at him, and he pulls you closer to him.

“Wanna help me with something?” he whispers in your ear.

You nod and smile, “Yeah.”

John reaches out for your hand, holding it tight in his and leads downstairs, and as soon as your foot hits the last step, you feel yourself sweating already and you regret wearing his Henley. He sits on the stool and taps his knee, and you crawl into his lap as he wraps his arms around you tight. The book he had been working on is almost finished and laying on the workbench, absolute perfection already.

“Baby, this is amazing.” you say, brushing your fingers over the binding.

“Pick a piece of paper,” he points at the stack of paper sitting neatly on his workbench. “Whichever color you want.” You carefully look through the paper, pulling out all of the blue ones and setting them aside for further inspection. John starts to laugh and leans forward to look at the paper with you. “Of course you’re going to pick blue.”

“Yeah, it’s–-”

“Your favorite color, I know.” he nods and tries to kiss you but you’re out of his reach, so you lean back a little, and he presses his lips to your cheek. “Did you think I would forget your favorite color?”

“No, it’s just that for once I have someone who remembers little details about me, it’s weird. In a good way.” you say, looking over your shoulder at John. “The fact that you remember what I was wearing the first time you ever saw me kinda blows my mind.”

John starts to laugh and leans forward again to kiss your cheek. “One of the best days of my life.”

“Oh, stop.” you laugh and shuffle through the paper, and finally land on final choice. You hold it up and look over your shoulder at John, “Is this good?”

“Perfect.” He taps the cover of the book and looks at you, “Glue it on there.”

“John, _no_. I’ll fuck it up.” you shake your head and glance over your shoulder.

“You won’t.” he says, his grip on your waist tightening. “Humor me.”

“Are you sure? You’re not giving this to someone really important, are you?”

“Yeah, but it’s okay. I think they’ll like it.” he nods and wraps his arms around you, leaning his head against your shoulder.

Your hands start to shake a little knowing that John is watching your every move. This is his hobby and he’s  _incredible_  at it. You paint glue on the back on the paper and carefully place it on the inside cover of the book, and you surprise yourself with how meticulous you’ve become, carefully pressing the edges down and searching for any air bubbles.

You feel John’s hand on your cheek, wiping away sweat and pushing your hair back behind your ear. He bounces you on his knee, and you lean back against his chest, leaving the project behind. “How do you work down here? It’s so stuffy and hot.”

“Guess I’ve gotten used to it, and once I focus on one thing, I don’t really think about anything else.” he says, wrapping his arms around you tighter.

You look at John and smile, knowing he meant you. “There you go again being disgustingly romantic.”

“It’s mostly because we’ve turned the heat up so much lately.” he laughs and kisses your nose. “You’re always cold.”

“Well, spring is getting closer! Right around the corner.” You hop off him quickly and press a kiss to his lips before resuming your project.

John gets up and walks over to the mini fridge in the corner that you’ve never noticed, and you start to think of how many times you’ve even been down here.

_4..no, maybe 5._

“How many times have I even been down here?” you ask, keeping your eyes fixed on the book.

“Uh, I don’t know. You don’t come down here very much, which is weird, by the way.”

“How is it weird?” you laugh and turn around to see John drinking a bottle of water.

He shrugs and laughs, “I don’t know. It’s not off limits to you, I hope you know that.  _Nothing_ in this house is off limits. Except…” he nods to the safe in the corner.

You look over at the safe then back to John and make finger guns at him, “You ever gonna teach me how to shoot a gun?”

John laughs again, and you can see how uncomfortable that idea makes him, he shakes his head, then sighs, “I guess if you want me to, I can. But honestly, I don’t want to.”

“Good, the idea kinda scares me.” you say and shiver, “Me with a gun? Bad idea. Too clumsy.”

“I can teach you some jiu-jitsu, I wouldn’t be opposed to that, and it would probably be a good idea to teach you some self defense anyway.”

“Jiu-jitsu?” you ask, laughing a little too hard. “Why the fuck would I want to learn that? Wait, how do you even know what that is?”

“You think I just shoot people and my job is done?” he asks and grabs the other stool, sitting down across the basement from you. “Sometimes people put up a fight…”

“Wait, wait, wait…” you say, putting your hand up to stop John. “So, you like throw people around and like do flips and shit? I mean, I know you obviously…hit people. I’ve seen the bruises and cuts you come home with.”

John laughs and shakes his head, “I’m not doing backflips, if that’s what you’re thinking.”

You quickly get up and walk over to John, standing in front of him and grabbing his arm in both hands. “I don’t need to learn jiu-jitsu,” you twist his forearm as tight as you can in both hands and he laughs.

“You think that’s supposed to hurt?” he says, looking at you, then down at his arm.

You let go, taking a big breath and reach out, twisting his arm again, “Oh, it will in a few hours.” you say, and your voice is getting strained from twisting John’s arm so tight. You let go again and back away from John, and point to his arm, “Trust me, that’ll hurt in a bit. You’ll be sorry, Wick.”

“You’re so fucking cute.” he says and reaches out, pulling you back to him so he can kiss you. “I like you being down here.”

“I like being down here.” you say with your lips pressed to his. “But I just feel like you deserve a space all for yourself. I kinda just moved in and invaded your space with all my stuff, but I like the idea of you being able to have a space that’s just for you, just for you to be able to sit, relax, and do your thing by yourself.”

“First of all, you didn’t ‘invade’ my space. If I felt that way, I wouldn’t have asked you to move in with me. I  _wanted_  you to move in and to be honest, I like that we do everything together. I love being with you all the time, especially when I’ve been away from home, and I like going into the bathroom and finding a random sock of yours, or going into the kitchen and seeing your lipstick on cups. In fact…”

“Oh, god. Let me guess, you’ve hoarded all my socks in a secret stash?”

“No,” he laughs and shakes his head, “The day you brought over my mail, you drank from a cup…”

“You still have it?” you start to smile and feel your cheeks growing red.

“No, but I kept it for a few days. I just liked looking at it. Just thinking about you living with me, leaving cups all around the house.”

“Sorry, I’m kinda messy.” you say, frowning.

“I don’t mind.” He says, walking back over to you. “It feels warm with you here. It had that empty feeling before you moved in. But now…it feels like a home.”

“Yeah, it did feel very sterile, and everything was so modern and artsy. Didn’t feel very… _you._ ”

“Wasn’t really my taste, if I’m being honest. I like the way it is now though. Very cozy. You always have the lights dimmed and have candles burning and it feels -– this is cheesy so get ready,” he says, and you prepare yourself, “Full of love.”

“No, I agree. It feels homey. It feels like  _we_  live here, a very happy couple.” you say and start to laugh at how cheesy you sound.

“I have an idea for something, but I wanted to know your thoughts first…” he says then takes another sip of water.

“Okay.”

“I was thinking about maybe turning the other spare room into your office or something. Imagine how much fun we’d have repainting it and fixing it up.”

You laugh and walk back to sit down on the stool near the work bench, “I don’t need an office. What am I gonna do in there?”

“Well, I don’t know. Maybe we can get some bookshelves, and you can put all your books on it. I know you still have a lot of books across the street.”

“Yeah, I left most of them there when I moved in here. Maybe we can just turn it into a library or…another bedroom, just in case.” you say and look up at John.

“In case of what?” he asks, smiling.

“Well, we need to think about how we’re gonna have a wedding here. Where is my mom supposed to sleep? I’m sure Tess will want to stay here the night before her wedding…well, she’ll probably make Jimmy sleep here.”

“Oh,” he says, nodding. “Yeah, that’s true. So basically, just make it into another guest room?”

“I mean…eventually that  _might_  change. Who knows, someday we might need that room for someone.” you say and place your hand on your stomach.

“I love you, peach.”

“I’m really starting to like that, by the way.” you say and get up to look at the pictures John has on the wall. You see covers of children’s books pinned to a board and turn around to look at John. “I never asked, but why children’s books?”

John shrugs and lets out a long sigh, “I think it was because the only books we had at my–-” he stops talking and looks at the ground, kicking at the rug on the floor.

John hasn’t told you much about his childhood, in fact, he hasn’t told you anything other than him joining the military when he was young, and the fact that he didn’t have any family. His life has been difficult and you’d never make John tell you anything if he wasn’t ready.

You lean closer to look at the covers and look back over at John. “It’s okay, you don’t have to tell me.”

He reaches out for your hand and you walk over, falling into his arms and feel his hands moving up your back to cup your face, “How are you so understanding?”

“Because I love you, John. I want you to feel comfortable with me. If you’re not comfortable with telling me about your past, then that’s okay.Honestly, it’s okay.”

“This is one of the  _many_  reasons why I love you so much.” he says and kisses you quickly, then rests his forehead against yours and twists your hair around his finger, “It’s not that I’m not comfortable with you –- I am and you know that. It’s just…I haven’t had someone to talk to in a  _really_ long time. And of course, Helen didn’t really know everything about my past, she knew about where I grew up but I never went into detail.”

“Understandable.” you say, nodding your head.

John sighs again and looks over the top of your head at the book covers pinned to the wall, “I picked children’s books because at one of my foster homes, we had really bad copies of all these old books, and I thought it would be cool to fix them all up. I would tear them apart and put them back together all day, sometimes I’d stay up late after all the kids went to bed, sneak into my foster mom’s cabinet and steal some thread and a needle, and stay up all night putting the books back together -– as best as I could with what I had. I loved how much work it was, how perfect everything needed to be.”

“Yeah, you’re definitely a perfectionist.” you laugh, and John kisses your forehead.

“I also picked children’s books because it was all _I_  really had. I didn’t really like to play with the other kids, so I would find a book and just read it all day. Just get lost in that world.”

You frown a little and look up at John, “That makes me sad.”

“Why?”

“Poor little Jonathan, all by himself just reading a book.” you say and tear up a little, “I bet you were so cute.”

“I probably have some pictures around here somewhere.” he says and you perk up. “I’ll find them eventually.”

“Oh, like you don’t know exactly where they are. They’re in your safe, I know it.” you say and take the water bottle from workbench, and as you bring it to your lips, he squeezes the bottle and water soaks your shirt. You laugh and look down to see your shirt soaked. “Jonathan!”

The ivory colored fabric clings to your chest, and John’s eye grow wide when he sees your nipples harden from the cold water and he quickly realizes you’re not wearing a bra.

“Fuck.” He reaches out, squeezing your breast in his hand and bites his lip as he scoots closer to you, growing hard in his pants and pressing kisses to your neck until you push him away.

“John,  _no_! I want to finish this and you’re gonna distract me. How would you like it if I came down here and did this to you? You’re just sitting here working, and I started groping at your pants and kissing your neck…you wouldn’t like that, would you?” you say and John bites his lip again, “Okay, never mind…that was a bad example.”

He laughs as he sits back down and wraps his arms around you, pulling you back into his lap. Feeling a bit mischievous and wanting to get revenge on John, you grind against his leg and he laughs, and you realize your plan as backfired when you feel an ache between your legs. His hands sneak up the front of your shirt, grabbing at your breasts and pinching your nipples between his fingers. He lifts the back of your shirt and kisses down your spine as he pulls your shirt back down and wraps his arms back around you.

“Okay seriously, I gotta finish this. I could never do this with you and have a deadline, you’re too distracting.” you say and lean forward to finish the book.

The basement is silent except for the sound of the clock ticking on the wall and after a few minutes, John starts to hum the tune of one of his favorite songs, and you hum along with him. You feel John chuckle and you glance over your shoulder at him, smiling when you see him looking at you.

“So, it’s your birthday soon.” he says, kissing your shoulder.

“Yeah…” you sigh and wipe off the sweat on your face.

“You don’t like your birthday?”

“No, I don’t mind birthdays. I just know  _you_ …” you look over your shoulder and smile.

“No presents?” he frowns.

“No presents.  _Please_.” you bat your eyes and laugh.

“Fine.” John sits back a little and massages your shoulders, his fingers graze your spine and you shiver, “Do you have any plans? I want to take you out to dinner at least.”

“Well, Tess asked if I wanted to go out to dinner with her and April, and leave you and Jimmy at home.” you say and look over your shoulder at him again. “I said yes.”

“You’re just gonna leave me here all alone?” he says, frowning dramatically and sticking out his bottom lip.

“Oh whatever, you’ll survive without me for a few hours.” you laugh and kiss John’s cheek.

“I don’t know, I just might die without you here.”

You lean back against his chest and tilt your head to get a good look at him, “You’re not going to die without me, baby.”

“I might, you never know.” he says and puckers his lips to kiss you, “Where are you gonna go?”

You sigh and lean forward again, firmly determined on finishing the book, “Probably into the city. Probably to some fancy ass restaurant that is  _way_  too much money, which is actually fine with me since I  _really_  wanna wear a nice dress. It’s a little warmer now, so I think I can get away with it and I’ve had one tucked away in the closet for quite some time now.”

“I’m sad that it’s getting warmer, I won’t see you in my sweaters anymore. You always look so cute.” he says and squeezes you tighter in his arms.

“Yeah, but now you can look forward to shorts, dresses and tank tops.” you say and smirk at him, “I’m sure you’ll enjoy that.”

“Oh, I know I will.” John leans forward again and looks at the book. “Done?”

“Yeah, I think so.” you hold up the book and look at it, “I like this paper a lot. It actually looks really good with the binding, and that looks  _amazing_ , you’re very good at this.”

John takes the book from your hands, looking it over and you turn around to face him. He stands up and grabs a rubber stamp off the shelf, and you watch as he presses hard on the page and smile when you read the words:  _This book bound by John Wick._

He hands you a permanent marker and taps his finger on the page, “Write your name.”

“I didn’t bind it though, I literally just glued a piece of paper on it.” you laugh.

“Do it.” he starts to jut out his lip, and you give in.

“Fine,” you sign your name and laugh, “Whoever gets this book is going to wonder who the hell I am.”

John closes the book, looking it over again, then hands it back to you. “I’ve been working on this for you.”

“John,” you start to protest, but he shakes his head.

“It’s blank,” he opens the book to show you the pages. “I figured we could write notes to each other in it.”

You smile and look up at John, “Baby, that’s really sweet.”

He takes the book from you, opening it to the first page and writes a message to you:  _Happy birthday, peach. I love you. - Jonathan_

“Happy birthday, baby.” he leans down and rubs his nose against yours.

You squint your eyes at him as he sits back down. “It’s not my birthday yet…and I said no presents.”

“Like that was going to happen.” he laughs and leans close to you, pressing a kiss to your forehead, cheek and nose. “You’re not scared of me, are you?”

“No, I’m not. I have  _never_  been scared of you.”

“Never?” he asks, then reaches out to touch your wrist. “Not even the time I hurt you? Or the time I yelled at you?”

You sigh and lean back against the workbench, “John, I…”

He shakes his head, looking away. “Fuck.”

“Look at me, Jonathan.” you move your arm out of his grip and cup his face when he doesn’t look at you, “I’m not scared of you. Things are different now, okay? I mean, of course it scared me when you just grabbed me like that, but I wasn’t scared of  _you_ , if that makes sense. I didn’t know everything like I do now. You were obviously dealing with shit at work and I snuck up on you, and I know you won’t see it this way but I was wrong.”

“You weren’t.”

“I was. Had I known what I know now…” you look away and start to laugh, which surprises John, “Actually, I still sneak up on you now. But it’s different because you’re used to me being around now. You weren’t used to having me around, but I know you are now because, when I get up in the night to pee, you aren’t sitting up staring at me as I walk back into the bedroom. Very creepy, by the way.”

“Sorry, I was always worried about you, and I didn’t know your nightly habits yet.” he says and you furrow your brow, not understanding him. “You always go to the bathroom at the same time,  _every_  night.” he laughs and looks down at your wrist. He shakes his head and brings your wrist to his lips. “I’ll never forgive myself for this, by the way.”

“John, I don’t want to be harsh or mean, and I don’t want to yell at you and tell you to get over it, but please for the love of God, get over it!” you stare at John and watch as he starts to laugh, and he pulls you into a hug.

“I’ll get over it when you admit this is your house.”

“This is my house.” you say it so fast that John starts to laugh even harder.

It’s already hot in the basement, and when John slides his hands down your back to your ass, you swear the room is going to burst into flames. He pushes you back a little and his eyes trail up your body, and when he sees your shirt still wet and stuck to your skin, he starts to smirk. You scoot closer to him and his fingers tug at the bottom of your shirt.

“So…” you smile and hope he wants you as much as you want him. He reaches out and unbuttons a button on your shirt, then nudges your chin with his fist lightly.

“Your turn.” he says, then licks his lips.

“Well, that’s not fair. You’re not wearing a button up shirt.” you lean in close to his face and kiss him, cupping each other’s faces.

“Guess you gotta find something else.”

Reaching down to unbuckle his pants, you feel John smile against your lips, and you zip his pants down enough to pull his cock out to stroke him. You both look down watching as you stroke him, and John moans loudly.

“Mmm,” you hum, smacking your lips together as you kneel in front of him, and you both laugh. You wrap your lips around his cock and continue stroking him, and look up at him as he focuses on you.

“Fuck,” he pushes your hair out of the way and watches as you bob up and down. “Deeper, baby.”

You take John deeper into your mouth and he lets out a loud moan, leaning back as far as he can to watch. You slowly pull him out and run your tongue over the head of his cock, and John laughs when you wipe the spit off your chin and scrunch your face up in disgust.

“Is it gross?” he asks and leans down to cup your face.

“No! No, not at all.” you laugh and kiss the palm of John’s hand. “I love the way you taste and the way you feel in my mouth. It’s just that I’m like…drooling.  _That’s_ gross.”

John sits back up and laughs, “It’s  _definitely_  not gross.”

“More?” you ask, pressing your lips to his cock.

“No,” he says, shaking his head and he reaches out to help you stand back up. His hands frantically sneak under your shirt to waistband of your leggings, and he starts to pull them down along with your underwear. “I want this.”

Keeping your lips pressed to his, you help John pull your leggings down and you kick them off further, until they’re completely off and somewhere on the floor.

“God, you’re soaked.” he says, gasping as he slides his fingers in with ease, pumping them steadily. “That feels so fucking good. Nice and warm.”

“See how wet you make me, John.” you grab his hand and push his fingers in further, moaning when you feel how deep he is. You rest your knee on John’s leg so he can move in deeper, and you both moan.

“Listen to the sounds you’re making, baby. So wet for me.” he says and leans back to watch his fingers sliding in and out. “Does that feel good?” he slowly inserts a third finger and pulls you closer to him. “Me fucking you with my fingers?”

“You’re so good with your hands, John.” you nod and suck on your bottom lip, trying your hardest to hold John’s gaze. You watch as John removes his fingers and sucks on them. “All of that is just for you.”

“All mine?”

“All yours,” you nod and smile at John. “I’m all yours, baby.”

John’s hands instinctively move to your hips, lightly brushing your skin and leaving goosebumps behind. He lifts you up with ease and you wrap your legs around his waist as you kiss his neck, and your fingers tangle in his thick, damp hair. You can already imagine how good he’s going to feel, and when he slowly slides himself in, it’s even better than you thought.

“I’ve been home for a few days, but did you think about me while I was gone?” he whispers in your ear and keeps still as you get comfortable on his lap.

“I always think about you when you’re gone.” you smile against his neck, and John pulls you back to look at him.

“That’s not what I meant, you know that.” John slides his hands up your thighs to your hips, and he pushes himself in deeper with a loud moan, “Did you think about me and touch yourself?”

“John,” you moan quietly and rest your forehead against his as your eyes roll shut, “Of course.”

John pulls back in surprise and laughs, “You did?”

“Yeah, just once.” you say, and John cocks his eyebrow up in suspicion. “It was only once!”

John laughs and bounces you a few times, “What did you think about when you were touching yourself?”

“You, _obviously_.”

“Just me?” he tries to hide a smile but fails.

“I was actually thinking about Christmas. The night at the hotel.” you say and watch John closely as he starts to smile even wider. “The night you tied me up –- well, attempted to tie me up.”

“Best sex we ever had.”

“Yeah, well, you say that every time.” you laugh and lean forward to kiss John. “Which is really sweet when you think about it.”

John moves your hair off your shoulder and trails light kisses over your collar bone, “Every time with you is the best, if I’m being honest. But that night…”

“I think it was because of our talk that night, and it was Christmas so we exchanged gifts, and everything was…romantic.” you laugh, and John caresses your breasts in his hands, twisting your nipple gently through your shirt. “The sex  _was_  really good that night.”

The both of you are already covered in a thin layer of sweat, and you feel yourself growing hotter as his hands moves to your ass, guiding you. He hugs you closer to his chest and when you pull away, you’ve left a wet print on his shirt.

“Let me get this off of you,” he says and lifts your shirt over your head, throwing it to the floor and stares at your breasts for a moment. He peppers your chest with light kisses and touches, sucking gently on your nipple before looking at you in the eyes. “You are so incredibly sexy. Look at you right now. Fucking amazing.”

You know you look like an absolute mess, your hair is damp with sweat and you didn’t take the time to put on any makeup today. Your cheeks are probably flushed red from the heat, but you smile tenderly at John knowing he genuinely means it. He starts to guide you again and you grind against him, causing him to moan.

“I’m not just saying that because you’re naked and we’re having sex.” he laughs and buries his face in your neck.

“I know.” you say, pulling back to look at him and wiping his damp hair away from his face. “I love you.”

He opens his mouth to reply but his work phone rings, cutting him off and you both look at it as if it’s the biggest nuisance. You look back at John as he reaches to grab it, still keeping a tight grip on you with one hand, and your eyes flicker over his face as you watch him closely.

“Fuck, John.” you whisper as you begin rolling your hips and wait to see how he’s going to react.

He doesn’t say anything, but you see a smile tug at his lips and he looks up at you, keeping the phone pressed to his ear. He bites his lip to stop a moan as you roll you hips faster and kiss his neck, tugging at his shirt and trying to pull it over his head. Leaning close to his face, you bite on his bottom lip, and he pulls back to give you a disapproving look.

“Oh whatever, you’re not mad at me.” you whisper, and John smiles. “I know you love this.”

John rests the phone between his ear and shoulder, and his eyes scan your body as he pushes himself in deeper again. You throw your head back as you buck your hips, and John quickly presses his hand to your mouth as you moan loudly.

After a few moments, he places the phone back down and kisses you gently, moving from your lips to your neck. You feel his tongue graze your skin, and you let out a small moan. You tug at the collar of his shirt and in the blink of an eye, John removes it and throws it onto the pile of clothes already on the floor.

“Your pants,” you say and start kissing John’s neck, “Take them off.”

“I want to, but if I get up, you have to get off of me and I  _really_  don’t want that.”

You let go of John, hopping off of him and he starts to frown a little as he tries to get his pants off as fast possible. You cover your mouth with your hand to hide your laughter when you see how pathetic John looks.

“Don’t make that face, babe. I’m coming back.”

He groans as he tries to tug his pants off, swearing under his breath when he realizes he still has his shoes on. “Fuck, I can’t get my clothes off fast enough.”

“Baby, stop.” you reach out to untie his shoe and you pull it off, moving to the next. “Why are you in such a hurry?”

“I just want you.” he says and tucks your hair behind your ear.

“You’ve had me twice today already.” you say as you tug his boxers off and reveal his cock, hard and damp with your slickness, and a bead of precum slips out.

“It’s not enough,” he scoots the stool closer to his work bench and reaches out, lifting you into his arm and sliding you back down onto his cock, and you watch as he shivers. “I want you constantly.”

“The feeling is  _definitely_  mutual.” you laugh and wrap your arms around John’s neck.

Moving your hips on top of John, you both moan and press your lips tight together. You push his hair out of his face and lean back to stare at him -– never breaking eye contact as you rotate your hips. His hands slide to your stomach and he pushes you to lean back against his work bench, and he caresses your breasts and moans as he rolls your nipple between his index finger and thumb. You rest your elbows on the table and John stands up, thrusting so hard that he grunts.

“Is this gonna hurt tomorrow?”

Tilting your head back, you let out a loud moan, then start to laugh, “Yeah, I can feel it already.”

“Good,” he says, and the sound of skin slapping skin echoes throughout the small basement. “I want you to feel me even after we’re done.”

“You gonna fuck me until I can’t walk?” you laugh and look at John, not breaking eye contact.

“You want me to? Because I will.” he says, sending shivers down your spine when you see how he’s staring at you.

“Fuck me, John. Fuck me until I can’t walk.” you laugh, and John starts to blush a little by how blunt you’re being, but he does as he’s told and slams his hips hard against you relentlessly.

“Your…” he murmurs and shivers again, closing his eyes.

“My what?” you ask and reach out to touch John’s chest, lightly brushing your fingers against the hair on his chest and nipples.

“Your pussy,” he moans and leans down to kiss you, “It’s fucking amazing.”

“Keep going.”

“You feel so  _fucking_  good on my cock, and you sound so good moaning my name.” he says, then opens one eye and grins.

You shake your head and smile, “You can’t just get it out of me that easily.”

“Fine.” he says and leans down to kiss your chest, sucking on your sensitive skin. You watch as he brings his thumb to your clit, rubbing circles and you bite down hard on your lip to keep yourself from moaning. “Come on, I know this is your favorite thing, and I know you want to say it.”

“Fuck.” you gasp and cover your eyes to keep yourself from watching.

“I know you love it when I play with your clit while I fuck you.” he thrusts hard, making the ache between your legs hurt even more, and he watches as your chest fills with air. “Scream it, baby.”

“John!  _Oh, fuck._ ” you moan loudly, and he beams with pride. You wrap your arms around his neck again and realize how sweaty you both are as you both gasp for air, and rest your foreheads against one another as he stands up straight.

“Again, baby. One more time.” he begs, and you bury your face in the crook of his neck as he bounces you up and down. “One more time for me.”

“Jonathan.” you moan again and John lets out a small, pleased laugh. You lean back to look at John, his brow is furrowed and he’s squeezing his eyes shut. “I can tell you’re trying not to come.”

“Yeah, but the noises you’re making tonight aren’t helping, and you moaning my name is  _really_  pushing me over the edge,” John starts to laugh and shakes his head, “I won’t until you’re ready though.” He slides his hands down to your waist and he sits back down, moving on up and down on his cock, and he smiles when he sees your breasts bounce.

You clamp down on John and wrap your legs around his waist, still rolling your hips. “I’m ready.”

John leans you back against the work bench as his thrusts become erratic, moans slipping past both of your lips, and every time John thrusts, the utensils on the table clatter and fall to the ground, but neither one of you care. Your legs start to shake and you feel the orgasm rising in your core, building quickly.

When you open your eyes, you see John with his mouth hanging open and his eyes closed. He licks his lips and swallows as he thrusts deep and hard, trying his best to make you come. With one hand, he reaches out and caresses your cheek, “You’re so beautiful.”

You mirror John and press your hand to his cheek, “I love you.”

John brings his thumb into his mouth, wetting it, and you moan before he even touches you. He slowly rubs circles on your clit and looks down to watch himself fucking you, and your whole body begins to shake, and you squeeze your legs tighter around John to feel him as he comes.

Letting out one last moan, you quickly cover your mouth with your hand when you realize how loud it is and John laughs. You feel his cock twitch and a warmth pools inside of you and you hum, still riding out your orgasm. “God, that feels so fucking good.”

“Me coming?” he asks, still slowly rocking his hips as he fills you up.

“Yes, it’s so intimate, and it’s like just a nice warm sensation and I don’t know, I can’t even explain it. Having you inside of me,” you lean back against the workbench, panting. “Best feeling ever.”

John slowly pulls out, watching you closely as he slides in and out a few more times and you gasp loudly, overly sensitive. He finally pulls out fully and keeps his arm wrapped around your waist so you don’t fall as he helps you stand, and he starts to laugh when he sees all of his bookbinding utensils on the floor.

“So, who called?” you ask and wince when you shift in place a little to help John pick them up.

“Oh, uh, just someone about a job.”

You exhale sharply and touch your inner thigh, feeling it wet and sticky from John, “Oh, you gonna take it?”

“Don’t know, it just depends.” he says, reaching down to touch your thigh. “Are you okay?”

“Depends on what?” you say and swat his hand away.

John shrugs and turns around to grab some tissue and hands it to you, “Just depends on if I want to take it, and if  _you_  want me to take it.”

You snort and shake your head, “It’s not up to me, Jonathan. It’s  _your_  job. I don’t ask you if you think I should take up more shifts at work.”

“You should never take up more shifts at work, you already work enough.” he says, pressing his lips to your neck.

You start to laugh and lean back to look at John, “I  _barely_  work anymore. Bernard calls me all the time and tells me not to come in, I have no idea why.”

“Are you sure you’re okay?” John says and reaches down to touch your leg.

“I told you it was gonna hurt.” you laugh, and when you try to walk, your legs wobble. “God, you really didn’t go easy on me today.”

John starts to smile and reaches down to pull on his boxers and jeans. “So, you hungry?”

“Um, starving.” you say, fanning yourself when John stands up straight and pulls his shirt over his head. “You’re so fucking gorgeous. I know I say that every day, but  _fuck,_  you are so gorgeous.”

“Stop it.” he laughs, getting embarrassed and hands you your leggings, “Get dressed, we can order some food and watch TV. I still wanna watch the pasta making thing.”

“Okay, okay.” you say and quickly get dressed. You hold up John’s Henley and frown a little, “I can’t wear this, it’s all wet.”

Without thinking, John pulls his shirt over his head and hands it to you. “Here.”

“I…” you blink a few times and take it from John, pulling it over your head and hugging yourself when you smell his cologne on it. “You really just gave me the shirt off your back. Ugh! What a man.”

John laughs and gestures to the stairs, “After you.”

“What a fucking man you are, John.” you say as you make your way over to the stairs, and your leg gives out, but thankfully John is there and he catches you. “Fuck.”

“Are you okay?” he laughs and stands you back up.

“My legs are literally numb. Three times in a day really does a number on your body. Well,  _my_  body. Since you know…” you point at John’s crotch and laugh. “You really did fuck me until I couldn’t walk.”

John throws you over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes and makes his way up the stairs, and you slide your hands into the back pocket of his jeans, grabbing his ass.

“I like your little butt.” you say, squeezing it in your hands. “Very firm.  _Very_ cute.”

John slaps your ass and squeezes it, making you laugh. “I love your ass. Very nice. Very juicy, like a peach. I want to bite it so bad right now.”

“Stop it,” you laugh and slap his ass. “We  _just_  had sex, baby.”

“It’s only 5:45, we can try for round four in a little bit.”

“John!” you laugh and try to get off his shoulder.

“I know you want to.” he says and sets you down at the top of the steps. “I do. And I always like to end the day with you pressed against me in our bed.”

“Four times in a one day, are you going for a personal record or something?” you say, jokingly.

“You’ve had sex more than four times in a day?”

“Are you kidding?” you laugh and shake your head, “No! Have you?”

“Definitely not. I just want you again…already. You’re so sexy, and you look _so_  good today and I’ve just missed you so much.”

You lick your lips and try to hide a smile but it spreads across your face. “That’s very flattering.”

“It’s very true.” John turns the basement light off and stands in front of you, wrapping his arms around your waist, and you watch as a wicked smile spreads across his face and you know an idea is growing in his head.

“What?” you say, squinting your eyes at him.

“Have you ever been to Rome?”


	36. Chapter 36

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **warnings:** nsfw for a few moments, mentions of vomit (lmao??? idk)

Walking into Jimmy’s apartment, you see the TV on but Tess is no where to be found. You slowly close the door behind you, and you hear the sound of Sadie’s feet as she runs towards you. She’s already grown so much, but still the spitting image of Bleu.

“Hi, baby. Where is your mommy?” you say, almost waiting for a response as you lean down to pet her. You hear retching coming from the bathroom and call out Tess’ name as you run down the hallway. “Tess, oh my god!”

Tess is leaning over the toilet, dry heaving and her hair is a mess, almost falling into the toilet. She sniffles and leans up, giving you a weak smile. Her eyes bulge and she leans back over the toilet, and you quickly pull her hair out the way as she vomits.

“This is the worst thing I’ve ever experienced in my entire life.” she groans and flushes the toilet, “Pretty sure I’m dying.”

You grab some toilet paper and wipe her mouth off, “Do you have the flu?”

She shakes her head and leans back over the toilet, dry heaving. “No, I’m dying.”

“You’re not  _dying_ , stop being dramatic. I’m going to get you a glass of water. Uh, stay here…” you look at Tess, and she rolls her eyes.

You feel out of place as you walk into Jimmy’s kitchen and freeze as you look around at how surprisingly clean it is. Tess isn’t a slob by any means, but you’re surprised by how…clean Jimmy is.

You look for cups and thankfully find them after the third cupboard. You fill the glass with water and peek around the bathroom corner to see Tess with her head practically in the toilet.

“Hey,” you sit down on the floor next to Tess on the floor and hand her the glass of water, “How you feelin’?”

She takes a big sip and wipes off her mouth, “Oh, like a million bucks…”

_Well, at least she still has her humor._

“I’m sorry.”

“Is it hot in here? It’s hot in here. I’m  _so_  hot. It’s so fucking hot in here!” she whines, trying to pull her sweater over her head.

You frown and reach out to feel her forehead with the back of your hand. “You are a little warm. Let me get you a cold wash cloth.”

When you stand up, you feel Tess’ hand on your calf, and you turn around to see her frowning. “I’m sorry, I know we were supposed to go out for your birthday. I already called April, then I was getting ready to call you, but I never made it out of the bathroom. Happy birthday, by the way.”

“Thanks.” You shrug and laugh, wetting a wash cloth and sitting back down, “It’s okay…kind of just wanted to stay home anyway.”

“Ya know, you could have just said that. That dress is amazing, by the way. You look hot, what did Wick think?” she says, and you sigh, crossing your legs in front of you and Tess sits up to look at you. “Oh no, what’s wrong?”

“Oh my god, nothing. We’re fine, everything’s fine. I just didn’t see him before I left, he took Bleu out for a walk. I’m just a little bummed that he didn’t get to see me in this.”

“Oh,” Tess breathes a sigh of relief and gestures to you, then gives you a thumbs up, “Well, he’s gonna die when you get home.”

“Were you worried he’s was like breaking up with me or something?” you laugh.

“No! I was worried you were breaking up with him. He would  _never_  break up with you.” she says, and you roll your eyes. “You know it’s true.”

“So, did you eat some bad take out or something?” you ask and look at her as she tries to push her hair out of her face. You grab a brush on the counter and begin fixing her hair.

“No, actually, I think…I might be pregnant.” she looks at you carefully, waiting for your reaction.

“What? Oh my god!” you reach out and hug her, smiling so hard your cheeks hurt, “Tess, are you kidding? Oh, my fucking god! I’m so happy for you!”

“I don’t know if I am for sure, but if I am…” she starts to smile and closes her eyes, leaning her head on the toilet. “I will be  _so_  fucking happy.”

“I hope you are.” you smile, then scrunch up your face when you see vomit on her shirt. “Does Jimmy know?”

“No, I haven’t said anything to him. I’ve been a little busy all day.” she gestures to the toilet.

“Wait, have you even taken a test yet?”

She shakes her head, pointing to the bag on the counter. “I bought one today, been too scared to take it…but since you’re here.”

You quickly grab the bag and pull it out. “Take it!”

“Should I?”

“Yes! I want to know! Wait…are you done throwing up?” you ask, trying not to laugh when you see how miserable Tess looks.

She nods, reaching out for you to help her up and shoos you out of the bathroom. After waiting impatiently, Tess finally opens the door. The pregnancy test is sitting on the counter and Tess quickly opens the toilet, throwing up again.

“Do people vomit this much? How am I not dead? This is horrible.”

You look at Tess and laugh loudly, “If you think  _this_  is bad, imagine what’ll be like when you have to give birth.”

Tess looks up at you, giving you a dirty look, “Now why would you say that?”

“How long have you been throwing up?” you ask and sit on the counter.

“Maybe two days. I’m not sure, everything has become a giant blur.”

“Tess! You’ve been throwing up and worried about the possibility of being pregnant for  _two days_ _,_  and you didn’t bother to call or text me?”

“I didn’t want to bother you!” she says and leans back against the wall to look at you.

“Bother me?” you laugh and roll your eyes.

“You’re in your perfect little world with John, I just…”

“Don’t start, Tess.” you warn, and she starts to laugh. “You have a perfect little world with Jimmy. You’re getting married soon, you have Sadie and you have…” you look out to the living room and see a cat sitting on the couch. “A cat?”

“Jimmy’s cat -– well,  _our_ cat. Guess his name.”

“Uh, Snuffles?” you laugh.

“Nope. Garfield.” she laughs and starts to lean over the toilet again, rubbing her stomach.

“He’s not even orange…or chunky.” you laugh and look over at Tess.

“Jimmy thinks he’s very funny. I must admit, he _is_ pretty funny. I love him.” she smiles to herself and rubs her stomach again. “My big idiot.”

The timer on Tess’ phone goes off, and you hop off the counter and grab the test, trying to hide a smile, “Tess…it has two lines.”

“What does that mean?” her voice echos from inside the toilet.

“It means you’re pregnant, babe.”

Tess looks at you in disbelief, “Are you sure?”

You smirk and hold it up again, “ _Positive_.”

“Well, shit.” she leans back against the wall and laughs.

You reach out for Tess’ hand and help her stand, “Why don’t we get you situated on the couch?”

You lead Tess out to the living room and help her onto the couch, wrapping blankets around her as she shivers, and Sadie and Garfield immediately climb onto Tess and she snuggles further under the blankets.

“Thanks, mom.” she jokes.

“Are you sure you’ll be fine? I can go to the store and grab some stuff…maybe some crackers or something.”

“No, Jimmy should be home soon.” Tess checks her phone and rests her head against the pillow. You sit on the coffee table, fixing the strap on your heels, and she begins to laugh. “Oh man, John is going to pass out when he sees you.”

“I hope.” you laugh and tuck your hair behind your ear.

“You have lots of birthday sex this morning?”

“Tess!” you gasp and playfully slap her shoulder.

“Well…did you?” she asks, trying to hide a laugh.

“No, we didn’t. He painted my nails and we watched a movie though. Oh, and he made me breakfast in bed this morning but that’s nothing new, he always does that. ”

Tess scoots up on the couch a little and laughs, “Oh gosh, that must be  _so_  exhausting, you poor thing.”

You roll your eyes at her and move to sit on the couch, “I mean…I wish we would have this morning, but we just didn’t.”

“Oh, I’m sure you will when you get home though.” she says and kicks you, “Bet it’s gonna be  _wild_.”

“You just want to know everything, don’t you?” you look at her, and she nods her head. “He’s good.”

“That’s it? Give me more!” she sits up straight and holds her stomach. “Wow, my stomach is feeling so much better, I think this is helping.”

“You are so gross.”

“Don’t act like we haven’t talked about all this stuff before with what’s-his-name. You told me  _everything_  about him, how bad he was…” she cocks an eyebrow up, making a point. “Remember how small you said–-”

“Yes! I remember!” you cut her off, and you both laugh.

“So…” she leans forward, intrigued.

“John is good, he’s like… _perfect_. He always knows what I want without me even telling him, and he knows every inch of my body and just where to touch me. Definitely a giver.” you say and Tess laughs. “He’s getting _very_ talkative –- which I love. Oh, remember the day we went to the bridal shop for our dresses?”

“ _Oh my god_.” she covers her mouth, but you can see her smiling. “I knew something was going on, you were taking so long. I thought maybe he was taking pictures of you again or something but…”

“Yeah, well…” you say and you both start to laugh.

“You had sex in the changing room, that is…incredible.”

“Oh no, we didn’t have  _sex._  He just…” you cover your face with hands and start laughing harder.

“Oh, right. _A giver_. That is fucking amazing.” Tess leans forward and cups your face, “I love this man.”

“Me too.”

Tess sits back and sighs, “I really wanna have sex now.”

“Well, you said Jimmy would be home soon.” you stand up and fix your dress, “I bet he high fives you after sex, doesn’t he?”

“You know what, maybe he does.” she says and crosses her arms. “And what about it?”

“Classic.” you laugh.

“He’s good too. Really took me by surprise the first time…and can I just say: impressive.” she says, pointing at her crotch. “Well endowed.”

“Stop, he’s like a big brother to me.” you say, trying to stop Tess but she continues.

“I mean, not too much but…enough. John, on the other hand, is huge, I just know it.” she laughs and pats your leg. “Again,  _you poor thing_.”

“ _Anyway_ , I’m gonna head home now. As much as I love these shoes, my feet are killing me and I want to be in my pajamas laying in bed.” you turn to leave, but Tess grabs your hand.

“Hey don’t tell –- never mind, you’ll tell him anyway, which is fine, I think he can keep a secret. I just want to be completely sure before I tell Jimmy.”

“I get it. Your secret is safe with us, I promise. Love you.” you say and push back Tess’ hair to leave a kiss on her forehead. “If you need anything, at any time, let me know. I’m  _literally_  just down the street and around the corner. You can call me or John at any time.”

“Thank you, I love you so much.” she says, and you see her eyes already starting to close.

__

Before you open the door to your house, you know something is off. John said he was going to take Bleu for a walk, but every single light in the house is on and you haven’t been gone long enough for him to already be back. When you open the door, you hear laughter coming from the kitchen – John’s laugh and two other voices.

You tiptoe to the kitchen, trying to keep quiet even though you’re still in your high heels, and you peek around the corner to see John at the table with Harper in his lap, and Benji sitting eating chicken nuggets. You watch closely as John feeds Harper a piece of smashed up banana just like you showed him.

You stand there for a minute, a little annoyed that John didn’t bother to call and let you know. You were hoping that when you got home from dinner that John would want to spend some time together since nothing happened between you two this morning.

“Hey.” you say as you enter the kitchen without looking at John.

Benji turns around and runs up to hug you. “Hi! We’re staying with you!”

“Oh…you are?” you say and kneel down to hug him tighter.

Benji runs back to the table and looks at John as he leans over to whisper something to him. Benji turns around, and you see his cheeks growing red,then he pulls out a single rose from under a bag on the table and hands it to you.

“Happy birthday!” he says, then hugs you again.

You try your best not to melt into a puddle on the floor, and you kiss the top of Benji’s head. “Thank you so much, honey.”

He skips back over to John and holds up his plate. “Can I watch cartoons now? I ate all six nuggets  _and_  my french fries.”

John nods and Benji jumps up, running with Bleu to the living room. John carefully gets up and holds Harper in his arms, “Sorry to spring this on you.”

You smile when you see Harper reaching out for you and you take her from John. “Hi, sweetheart.”

“Aurelio called me about an hour ago, said there was a family emergency. Something to do with Amanda’s family. They have to go out of state, and he asked if we’d watch them, I said yes, obviously.” John follows closely behind you as you walk out into the living room. He looks at you as you sit down with Harper on your lap, and he kneels in front of you. “Will you say something to me?”

“How long are they going to be here?”

He looks over at their bags on the floor that you didn’t notice, and he shrugs. “A week, maybe…I don’t know, but they packed one of those play pen things and a car seat.”

“A pack ‘n play.” you say, still not looking at him.

“Yeah, that’s what Amanda called it. A pack 'n play.”

Harper holds tight to your fingers and bounces around in your lap, giggling loudly, and you look down at her. From the corner of your eye, you can see John staring at you.

You grab his wrist to look at his watch.  _8:34 PM._ “It’s Thursday…he has school in the morning, so he should be in bed.”

“Are you mad at me?” he asks, and you see his hands shaking. “I feel like you’re mad at me. You’re mad at me, I knew it.”

“Can we just…talk about this later? We need to get them to bed.”

John quickly stands up and grabs Benji’s bag. “Buddy, it’s time for bed.”

John’s voice is deep, sending shivers down your spine, and you’re surprised by how fast John turned on the Dad Mode. Benji quickly changes into his pajamas and curls up into bed, and you watch as John tucks him in, and try to hide the smile when John contemplates kissing him on the head. He pats him on the head and turns off the light.

“Can Bleu sleep with me?” Benji asks, and John nods.

“Bleu,” you call out for the dog and hear him running over to you, and he sits at your feet. “Go lay down with Benji.”

Bleu jumps on the bed and curls up next to Benji, falling asleep almost instantly.

“We’ll be right upstairs if you need anything, okay?” you say, closing the door a little but leaving it open enough to allow Bleu to come in and out.

“What about her?” John asks and reaches out to touch your elbow.

“She can sleep in our room, I guess. There’s enough room in there to set up the pack 'n play.” you shrug and start your way up the stairs as John grabs her bags.

Harper is slowly falling asleep in your arms as John tries to figure out how to set up the pack 'n play. He gets a little frustrated, and you reach out and touch his shoulder to calm him down. He relaxes under your touch and crawls across the floor, kneeling in front of you.

“Please don’t be mad at me.” he frowns, and you try your best not to look at him, but you know he’s giving you the most pitiful look. You’ll give in if you look at him, so you close your eyes, trying your hardest not to laugh. “Baby, please.”

You lay Harper down on the bed, and she wiggles a little as she positions herself, falling back asleep. You exhale and quickly set up her bed. Carefully, you place her in the bed and cover her with a blanket, John watches in amazement and smiles when you finally look at him.

“I’m not mad at you.” you say as you sit next to him on the bed.

“You’re not?” he perks up a little and wraps his arm around your shoulder.

“No, just a little annoyed. I wish I would’ve had a heads up.” you lean your head on his shoulder and feel him kissing the top of your head.

“I called you twice…and texted you.”

“You did?” you grab your phone from your jacket pocket and see the missed calls and text. “You did. I’m so sorry. I was helping Tess, I didn’t even hear my phone go off. Forgive me?”

“There’s nothing to forgive, it’s okay.” he shrugs and leans over to peck your cheek. John tries to peek over the side of the pack 'n play at Harper and smiles when he sees her fast asleep. “This is different.”

“I’m really surprised you couldn’t figure out how to set this thing up.” you say and point at the pack 'n play.

“I thought you were mad at me, and honestly that was all I really cared about.” he says and kisses your cheek again.

“Again, I wasn’t  _mad_  at you. Just wanted to spend some time with you, ya know, for my birthday.” you look up at John and bite your lip as you remove your jacket, and he starts to lean over to kiss you but you cut him off, “Let’s go downstairs. I’m hungry, since I didn’t get to eat tonight.”

__

“So, you didn’t go out obviously. What happened?” John asks as you take a bite of a cold chicken nugget.

“Tess is sick.” you say, with a mouthful of chicken nuggets and french fries. “God, these are amazing. Where did you get these?”

John opens the freezer and holds up a bag of frozen chicken nuggets. “The store. I bought them a few days ago, but I haven’t eaten any. I don’t even know  _why_  I bought them.”

“They’re fucking amazing, that’s why. You gotta try a bite.” you laugh and walk over to feed one to John. He bites it out of your hand and his lips linger on your finger.

“Delicious.” he says, then wraps his arms around you for a moment and peppers your face with kisses.

“I know, they’re good even though they’re cold.” you laugh and walk back over to grab another. “I’m sad I didn’t get to see you before I left.”

“Me too. I was a few blocks away with Bleu when Aurelio called me, and we ran back home, but you were already gone. We’ll have to play with him tomorrow. Maybe after Benji gets home, we can go to the park or just…uh, we can, um–-” John stops talking and smiles at you, “I’m so sorry, I’ve completely lost my train of thought. You look  _so_ beautiful.”

“Thank you, baby. You know, when Tess asked what you thought about my dress, I guess I gave her the impression that we were fighting or something. I thought she was worried you broke up with me, but she thought  _I_ broke up with you.” you shake your head and laugh.

John frowns a little and looks at the floor. “I thought you were going to. You hadn’t returned my calls or texts. I was so worried that you were just pissed off at me.”

“Nope,” you say, shaking your head. “Just dealing with Tess and all her vomit.”

“The flu? A lot of people get sick with the weather changing.” he says, sitting down at the table.

You shake your head and reach into the fridge for a bottle of water. “Nope, not the flu.”

“Bad take out?” he laughs.

“That’s what I asked, but nope, not bad take out.” you sit on his lap, and he wraps his arms around you.

“What’s wrong with her then? Is she okay?” he asks, and it makes your heart melt when you realize how concerned he is about Tess. “She’s not like… _sick_ , is she?”

“No, no, no. She’s fine.” you say and take a drink of water. “She’s just, uh…”

“She’s pregnant.” he says, and you both smile.

“Well, she took a home test and it said she was.” you turn and look at him, raising your eyebrows. “I know you won’t, but don’t say anything to Jimmy.”

He pretends to zip his lips and laughs. “That’s exciting.”

“Yeah, I’m really happy for them.” you say and lean over to kiss John’s forehead.

“Me too, they’ll be really good parents.” he says, playing with the cap from your water.

“It’s so weird to think about how not even that long ago I didn’t even know you and Jimmy.”

“You had lived in your house for like eight months before we met, right?” he asks, smiling.

“Like you don’t know…” you say, and John hugs you closer. “Yeah, April lived there for a few years before I moved in though, but I’d come to visit her. Weird…we might have seen each other, but you were probably married at the time.”

John nods and looks away from you. “Yeah, maybe.”

“That would have been awkward. Imagine bumping into  _me_  with your wife. I wouldn’t have tried to talk to you or anything, because you were married, but I would have still looked at you. Crushed on you from afar, probably would have tried to bump into you at the grocery store or something, just to say hi. Maybe somehow get our mail mixed up.” you say and start to laugh. “Sorry, that’s not appropriate.”

John looks up at you as you try not to laugh and he shakes his head. “You’re not funny.”

“Sorry.” you frown and look down, playing with the neck of his shirt and trying your best not to tear up from being scolded by John. He starts to laugh, and you look up at him in shock. “Oh, so you can laugh?”

“Okay, you are funny. And yes, that would have been awkward.” he says, laughing and he leans over to kiss your neck. “To be honest, I’d like to say I wouldn’t have noticed you but…I just don’t think that’s true.”

“You wouldn’t have, and that’s okay. Hey! Did you know Jimmy has a cat? I definitely had  _no_  idea until tonight.” you say and try to change the subject, but John doesn’t allow it.

“I would have, and I kind of hate myself for knowing that.” he cups your cheek and rubs his thumb over your bottom lip. He starts to laugh and leans close to kiss your cheek, “You probably had a loser boyfriend anyway.”

“John!” you slap his shoulder and shake your head. “Of course I did.”

The kitchen is quiet for a moment as you both sit there, imagining how it would have been to bump into each other back then. John bounces you on his knee a few times and you feel his hand firm on your back.

“So…did you know Jimmy has a cat?”

“I did,” he laughs and kisses your shoulder. “Garfield. He’s not even fat or orange.”

You gasp and laugh, “That’s exactly what I said!”

“He cracks me up.” John says, shaking his head.

“I truly cannot _wait_  to see Jimmy as a dad. He’s already a scatterbrain, so I can’t wait to see how much of a mess he’ll be when they have a child. He’ll probably get the baby locked in the car somehow and completely forget that he’s a cop, and he’ll call you for help.” you laugh and grab John’s hand, pressing a kiss to it. “You’re gonna be an uncle, that’s so cute.”

“You’re gonna be an aunt. That’s pretty cute.” he says and snuggles into the crook of your neck.

“I know Tess better than anyone, so I  _know_  she’ll want me in the room with her when she gives birth.” you say then laugh, “Oh my god, she’s gonna be horrid.”

“Oh, definitely.” John agrees, nodding his head.

You yawn and look back at John’s watch.  _9:42 PM._ “Should we go to bed? I know it’s not that late, but we’ll have to be up pretty early to get Benji ready for school.”

John kisses your temple and bounces you on his knee, “I’m going to stay up a little longer. Aurelio is gonna call me in a bit and let me know what’s going on.”

“Oh, I can wait down here with you until then. I mean, if you want me to.” you suggest as John rubs his finger against your cheek and you close your eyes.

“No, peach, it’s okay. Go get some rest. We’re gonna have our hands full this weekend.” he laughs and leans up to kiss your cheek.

You stand up and turn around, cupping his face in your hands, “I love you. _So fucking much_. I hope you know that.”

John stands up and reaches out, placing his hands on your hips, and his fingers press into your skin as he draws you closer. The air between the two of you is buzzing and you’re finding it hard to control yourself, and part of you is hoping John will throw you on kitchen table and fuck your brains out. John stares at you as he leans in close to your face and you lean up, brushing your lips against his, and you feel him smile as you close your eyes.

“Are you just going to tease me?” you open your eyes to find John still staring.

“Maybe.” he laughs.

“You’re  _such_  a tease, Jonathan.”

“Since I didn’t get to see you before you left the house earlier…” he backs away and gestures for you to spin. You shake your head and slowly spin, and you look over shoulder, watching John and making sure he gets a good look at your ass, which you have to admit, looks really fucking good in this dress. John bites his lip, and you see him ball his hands into fists to keep himself from squeezing your ass.

“Do you like it?” you ask and lean back against the island.

“Your body is fucking ridiculous. Every curve is just…perfect.” he shakes his head and reaches out to touch your waist. “This dress looks phenomenal on you, those shoes too.”

“Pretty good, huh?” you say and stick your foot out to look at your heels. “I spent way too much money on them and to be honest, I felt sick to my stomach after, but you know what? You don’t let me pay for anything around here and all this money is just sitting in my bank account now, so I figured I’d treat myself.”

“Good, that’s what I want you to do with your money: spend it on yourself.” John looks down at your shoes again and starts to smile. “And I’m glad you did.”

“You like them?”

“Yeah, they kinda look like shoes a princess would wear.” he looks back at you, almost horrified. “Sorry, that didn’t sound as cheesy in my head.”

“I don’t think it was cheesy -– I mean, okay yeah it was, but it was cute.” you smile at John. “I don’t think a princess would wear shoes this tall though, look how tall I am compared to you.”

“Oh yeah, you’re totally towering over me.” he says and stands up straight. “Okay, they do make you a  _little_  taller, but you’re still tiny. How do you even walk in them?”

“Lots of practice.“

“Well, they’re sexy, probably my favorite shoes you have. Same with this dress. Your ass is already amazing, but this dress makes it look incredible. I wanna bite it.” he says and his hands slide down to your ass, cupping it.

“Well,” you say, turning around. John kneels down behind you and bites down hard on your ass, and you both laugh. He wraps his arms around your legs and sighs happily as he uses your ass as a pillow. “You make me scream.”

John quickly stands back up and leans close to your face. “I do?”

“Yeah, because you’re so funny.” you say and tuck his hair behind his ear. “I mean, anyone who didn’t know you would probably think you’re so serious all the time and like…mean or something, and you’re not at all –- well, not with me at least. You’re so funny, you’re so sassy with me sometimes and you’re getting  _very_  dramatic. I wonder who you’re getting that?” you say and point to yourself.

“Oh.” he frowns.

“You also make me scream…like 'wow, your cock is so big, and it feels so fucking good inside of me’. You definitely make me scream because of  _that_.”

John quickly spins you around and bends you over the island, pressing his hips into your ass, and grinding himself against you a little. “I like hearing you scream.”

“Fuck,” you breathe, feeling his cock hard even through his jeans and your dress. “Do that again, baby.”

He grinds against you again, and you hear his breath get caught in his throat. “I really wish I could take this off of you right now.”

You stand up straight and back John up against the counter behind him, and he places his hands on your waist as you slowly rotate your ass against his cock. “Feel good?”

“Feels amazing.” he says, moving the hair off your shoulder to kiss your neck. He pushes you forward again to lean over the counter, and he grinds against you slowly.

“Are you regretting that we didn’t have sex this morning?” you say and look over your shoulder at John. “Why didn’t we have sex this morning?”

John leans forward, kissing your shoulder and he laughs, “Because I wanted to pamper you this morning and let you rest, because I was gonna-–”

“Fuck my brains out when I got home?”

“Yeah,” he says as his hands roam over your back, and he grabs your ass in his hand. “It’s a shame you couldn’t go out and celebrate your birthday though.”

“It’s okay, I wanted to stay home with you anyway.” you shrug and look over your shoulder at John.

“And I fucked that up…” he backs away, looking at the floor. “I said we would watch the kids. I shouldn’t have said yes. Why the hell did I say yes?”

“You didn’t fuck it up, I promise.” you turn around and reach out, grabbing his belt and pull him back to you, and you pucker your lips to finally kiss John. “You said yes because Aurelio is your friend, and this is what friends do for each other, babe. You really think you can say no to that cute little boy? Or the baby that is sleeping in our room, who I  _know_  you absolutely adore? They’re not going to be here forever, John.”

“I know, I just feel bad. Your birthday has been completely ruined.” he says and cups your face in both hands.

“It has not!” you frown and stomp your foot. “It’s my birthday and I get to say whether it’s been ruined or not, and I’m saying that it hasn’t been. I’m the birthday girl, those are the rules.”

John starts to smile a little and leans forward to kiss your forehead. “Fine.”

“You really think that watching these two amazing kids is ruining my birthday? I literally squeal when I see you with them. Trust me, this is like a really good birthday present, if anything.”

“Oh!” he gasps and runs out of the room. When you see him walking back in, his face is completely hidden by the biggest bouquet of roses and sunflowers you’ve ever seen. “I got these for you earlier. Hid them from you all day. Your favorite.”

“Baby, these are amazing.”

“Happy birthday, peach.” he says, hugging you from behind.

“Did you let Benji have a rose so he could give it to me?” you ask and tilt your head back to look at John.

“Yeah. One of the first things he asked about when he got here was you. Wondered where you were.”

“Oh my god.” you say and cover your face with your hands. “That’s so cute.”

“They love you. Everyone loves you, not as much as I do though.” he presses his lips to your cheek several times and sighs.

“You still feel bad, don’t you?” you ask and turn around to face him, and John nods and looks at the floor. “Well, will a kiss make you feel better? Because I feel like it would make  _me_  feel better. I’m not sad or anything, but kissing you always makes me feel better when I’m sad, so it’s just a suggestion.”

John crashes his lips to yours and pulls you closer to him. You open your mouth, taking his bottom lip between your teeth and sucking on it, and you rub your hand over the bulge in his pants and he hums against your lips. He lifts you up onto the counter and tries to spread your legs, but your dress doesn’t allow it. When you look down, you see him hard in his pants and you notice a small wet spot from precum.

John buries his face in the crook of your neck and takes several breaths, inhaling your perfume before backing away, “Home.”

“What?” you ask and pull his arms around you again.

“Your perfume.” he buries his face again and laughs, “It reminds me of home. The house always smells like you.”

“Oh god, I’m going to bed before you kill me with how cute you’re being tonight.” you say as John helps you off the counter. “You should probably leave on a light down here for Benji, it gets pretty dark. Last time they stayed here, we slept in the living room, so we were just right there, but we’ll be sleeping in our room tonight and I don’t want him to be scared if it’s too dark.”

He kisses the top of your head and nods. “I will. I’ll be up right after Aurelio calls.”

“Well, I’ll miss you until then.” you wrap your arms around his neck and he lifts you up to press his lips to yours.

Walking past the guest bedroom, you peek in and see Benji fast asleep with Bleu still at his feet. As soon as your foot hits the first step, you hear John answer his phone, and even though he’s talking quietly, his voice is deep and it carries throughout the house, following you up the stairs and to your room.

Quickly, you change into your pajamas and walk out of the bathroom to check on Harper. She’s sleeping soundly and every so often, her little hands twitch, and you find yourself watching her with a smile on your face, growing incredibly fond of her.

You quietly crawl into bed and curl under the blanket, missing John more than you’d like to admit. He’s just downstairs, but when he’s home, the two of you usually go to bed at the same time, and the thought of sleeping alone makes you feel cold and sick.

__

You’re finally starting to fall asleep when the sound of John flushing the toilet wakes you. Peeking through one eye, you watch as he checks on Harper. You didn’t shut the curtains before bed, so the room is lit by the moon, and you see John smiling when he looks at Harper. He’s wearing his favorite pair of pajama pants and a white t-shirt, he looks so cute you want to squeal.  _He looks like such a dad,_ you think to yourself and watch him as he leans closer to get a good look at Harper. He lets out a small, breathy laugh and reaches down to rub his finger over her cheek, and you feel yourself melting into the mattress.

John walks to his side of the bed and carefully pulls back the covers, he doesn’t know you’re awake and almost jumps when you turn on your side to face him. After a few seconds, he positions you in his arms and when he exhales, he smells like minty toothpaste.

“Hey.” he whispers.

“Hi.” you whisper back, and try to hold in a laugh when you notice toothpaste stuck in his beard. You wipe it away and kiss the corner of his mouth. “What did Aurelio say?”

“Amanda’s mom is really sick.”

“Oh no, that’s so sad. I hope she’s gonna okay.” you frown and feel John pull you closer to him so you’re inches from each other’s faces.

“Yeah, he said that we’ll have to take Benji to school tomorrow. He has to be there by nine. And he’s still not sure when he’s going to come home. He just wants to be there with Amanda, in case things go south. He just kept saying he wanted to be there for her.”

“Aw, that’s really sweet of him.” you kiss John’s nose and see a smile spread across his face.

“Yeah, he’s a good guy.”

“Well, I can drop Benji off at school tomorrow, I’m sure you’re gonna leave your car for me.” you say nuzzling into the crook of John’s neck. “We’ll miss you this weekend.”

“Wait…why?” he asks and sits up a little, “Are you kicking me out?”

“No,” you laugh and pull him back down to you, “You were gonna take that job.”

“Oh…” he whispers and you feel his breath on your face as he leans close to you again. “I’m not going to take it.”

“Why?” you ask, reaching out to tuck his hair behind his ear.

“I wasn’t sure about it in the first place, and kinda just wanna stay home with you. Plus, I’m not going to leave you here to take care of two kids by yourself.”

“Well,” you sigh and tangle your legs with John’s, “That’s what would happen if we had kids, you know?”

John has been quiet for so long that you think he’s fallen asleep, so you scoot closer to him and nuzzle into his chest, pressing feather light kisses to his collar bone and one to his neck, a final kiss goodnight. His fingers brush your spine, alerting you that he’s still awake, and you lean back to look at him again.

“I could quit my job.” he finally whispers.

“Jonathan, _no_.”

“I wouldn’t want you to raise our kids on your own. If we have kids, I want to be there. I don’t want to miss out on important milestones, and what kind of man would I be to get you pregnant and then just fucking take off all the time?” he says a little too loud, and he covers his mouth when he remembers Harper is only several feet away from the two of you.

“Why are we even talking about this?” you lean up to check the time and plop back down. “We have to get up early.”

“Fine,” John sighs and nods his head, agreeing to put the conversation off until a later time. He cups your face and moves so the moon shines onto you, “I love you.”

You try to hold back a laugh when John frowns dramatically. “Do you think I’m not gonna say it back or something?”

“You’re mad at me.”

“When have I ever not said it back to you? And stop saying I’m mad at you.” you whisper a little too loud and John sits up to look at you.

“Well, you are.” John places his hand on your stomach and smiles.

“John, I swear…” you say and feel his hand moving up your stomach to your underarms. “Don’t. Don’t try to tickle me and make me laugh. There is a baby  _right_  there, I will scream and wake her up.”

“Fine.” he plops back down, and you roll onto your side so he can spoon you. John pulls you tight to his chest and presses his lips to your ear and whispers, “I love you.”

“I know you do, John.” you say and look over your shoulder as he starts to frown again, “I love you too.”


	37. Chapter 37

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **warnings:** none until the end

Opening your eyes and looking around the room, you sit up straight when you see Harper isn’t in her crib. After taking a brief moment to calm down, you realize John has taken her already. You flop back down on the bed, exhaling loudly and look over at the clock, 8:12 AM.

“Of course he didn’t wake me up. Of fucking course.” you say to yourself and hop out of bed to take a quick shower.

As fast as you can, you get dressed and head for the kitchen. John is bouncing Harper in his arms, and Benji is at the table eating cereal when you walk in and greet them.

“Good morning,” you say and lean against the counter across the kitchen from John, still wringing the water from your hair.

“Hey, peach.” John turns around and smiles at you, “Oh, you took a shower.”

“Wish you would have woken me up.” you say and hang the towel on the back of the stool to dry.

“It’s okay, I wanted you to sleep in.” he says, and Harper wiggles in his arms a little, chewing on her hands. You can’t help but want to hold both of them and John notices. “Come here.”

“Did you feed her already?” you ask and wrap one arm around John’s waist and the other around Harper. You lean your head against his chest and when he speaks, it vibrates throughout his body.

“Yup.” he nods, pride filling his body.

“Did you also change her diaper?” you raise your eyebrows, remembering how he reacted last time.

“I did.” he smiles, and then looks at Harper. “She…uh…”

“Pooped?” you ask and laugh.

“Yeah, but I got her all cleaned up.” he says and looks at her as he bounces her in his arms.

“Wow, Mr. Wick, I am very impressed.” you smile at Harper, and she reaches out to tug at John’s hair.

“Yeah, those kind of diapers should be your thing.” he laughs and looks down at you.

“Oh sure, stick me with the poopy diapers. I see how it is.” you joke, and John leans down to kiss you. “You think kissing me is going to make it better?”

“Worth a shot.” he laughs, then leans down to kiss you again.

You cup his face and smile, “Gosh, I love you.”

“I love you more.” he says, rubbing his hand over your back. “Did you sleep okay, ya know, with this one in the room?”

“I did, how about you?”

John nods his head and looks back at Harper, “I did.”

“So, Benji, are you excited for school?” you say and walk over to take his empty bowl and put it in the sink.

“Yeah! I’m really excited to ride in Uncle John’s cool car.” he says, and when he turns around, you notice the huge milk mustache on his face.

“It is pretty cool, isn’t it?” you turn around, grabbing a napkin to wipe off his face.

John checks his watch and hands Harper to you, “We should probably go, buddy.”

You walk with John to the door, and he turns around to cup your cheek, gazing at you adoringly. He smiles at you for a moment, seemingly drinking in the image of you with a baby on your hip, and Harper reaches out for John again and he laughs, “No, you gotta stay here, Harper.”

“She likes you a lot, I’m a little jealous.” you jokingly pout, and John presses a kiss to your forehead and leans down a little to kiss Harper’s cheek.

“I’ll be back soon.”

__

Holding tight to your fingers, Harper starts to walk as you help lead and encourage her. Bleu comes running into the living room when Harper giggles loudly and licks her cheek causing her to scream with joy, and she reaches out for him, grabbing tight to his collar.

“Harper, I think you’re gonna start walking on your own soon.” you say, and she pats Bleu hard on his back. “But please do not start walking when you’re here. I would hate for your mama to miss that.”

You sit on the floor next to Harper as she pats Bleu on his back; Bleu is so calm and gentle with her, it makes you melt. He lays down as Harper crawl onto his back and he licks her cheek again.

“You’re getting sleepy, aren’t you?” you say as Harper reaches out for you.

You pick up Harper and stand to sit in the chair near the window and slowly rock her in your arms.

“You are just the sweetest thing. Uncle John is a little in love with you, you know that? And I’ll admit seeing him with you is making me melt.” you say, looking down at Harper. She’s staring at you in wonder, and you lean down to kiss her forehead. “Where the heck _is_  your uncle John?”

John has been gone for over an hour, and you’re starting to wonder the hell he is. You carefully shift Harper in your arms and walk to the kitchen to check your phone for any missed calls.

As soon as you grab your phone, you hear John walk through the door. Turning around and looking around the corner, you see John with bags in his hands, and he scoots a large box in the door with his foot.

“Hey, peach.” he says, excitedly.

“What did you get?” you ask, walking over to meet him.

“Well,” he taps the box and turns it, “I bought a high chair!”

You look up at John, and you can see how proud he is, grinning from ear to ear. You start to smile and hoist Harper up on your hip a little as he walks past you to the kitchen, stopping only for a moment to kiss your cheek.

“Why?” you ask, following closely behind him.

“So, she can sit and eat…” he stares at you and slowly smiles.

“John…she’s not going to be _living_  here. We don’t need this.”

“Well, if she never comes back, we can give it to Tess and Jimmy.” he stares at you as he moves closer. “Or…we can keep it.”

“I’m gonna put her down for a nap.” you turn to leave, but he stops you.

“Wait!” he runs up the stairs two at a time and disappears into your room.

In a matter of seconds, John is back with Harper’s pack ‘n play, trying his best to maneuver it down the stairs even though it’s still open. You know it shouldn’t, but it turns you on how easily he picks it up and carries it. 

“She can go in the guest bedroom with Benji.” he says, grunting a little as he comes down the stairs.

“No, she can’t. There’s no room for the bed in there, and I can’t keep an eye on her if she’s sleeping down here.”

John sets the crib down and looks at it, then peeks into the guest bedroom. “Well, if I move that over a little, and then we putthat over there and move the dresser to sit over there.”

“John, we’re not going rearrange the entire guest room just so she can sleep in there for a week.” you say and put Harper down in the pack ‘n play with a toy.

“Yes, we are.” he says, voice straining from shoving the dresser over. He scoots the bed over with a bit of effort and moves the chair again, placing it in three spots before deciding it’s fine where it was. “Look, that’s perfect.”

“No, it’s not. I still won’t be able to keep an eye on her. I don’t know how she sleeps at night.” you say, and you see Harper reaching out for you and you take her out of the crib. “I’m not good at this stuff yet. I don’t know what I’m doing.”

“Yes, you do.” he says and kisses your forehead.

“What if she’s crying in the night and I don’t hear her?”

“Look in the bag.” he says as he puts the crib in the guest bedroom. “Wait! Look in the white bag, not the blue one. White,  _not_ blue!”

“Okay, because that’s not suspicious…” you say as you open the white bag and see John bought Harper a bunch of new toys. Feeling around in the large bag, you pull out a box, “A baby monitor.”

John comes back out and smiles as you walk into the living room, “Good idea, huh?”

“Great idea, actually.”

John moves closer to take Harper from you, and you smile when she snuggles into his chest. John positions himself on the couch, still placing pillows around him just in case she falls. You chuckle softly and sit next to him, and Harper starts to fuss a little and lets out one big cry.

“She’s tired.” you say, rubbing her back. She hiccups, and you both laugh as John pulls her back to look at her. “She slept through the night as far as I know. When I got up to use the bathroom, she was still asleep. Did you get her up at any point?”

“I got up to use the bathroom too, but she was still asleep when I came back out. Was I supposed to feed her or something?” John looks at you and with one hand, he brushes the hair out of your face, tucking it behind your ear.

“No.” you shake your head and stretch your legs across his lap, and he wraps his left arm around your shoulder to hold you. “I mean if she’s up and crying, then yeah, she’s probably hungry or needs her diaper changed, but when she’s sleeping through the night, just leave her.”

John takes the blanket from next to him and drapes it across the three of you and rests his head against yours, “You would honestly make such a good mom.”

“John, not right now.” you warn but start to smile when you see how he’s looking at you, “Okay, fine.”

“Peach, you would be such a good mom. I can already picture it in my head, your belly growing bigger and bigger every day, you would be so cute.” John’s entire body perks up and he straightens up on the couch, leaning over to kiss you. He places one hand on your stomach and you cover it with both of your hands.

“You think I’d look cute?” you stick your stomach out further and laugh.

“You would look so cute, baby.” he looks down at Harper, who is still awake and now sucking her thumb as she relaxes in John’s arms. “We could have our very own version of this. The perfect mix of us.”

“You already have a camera in my face all the time now, you’d be so much worse when I’m pregnant. Probably wanna do one of those stupid videos where you take a picture of my belly at the same time every day.”

“Maybe.” he laughs and you see his cheeks turning red. “When I went to the store and bought all that stuff, I just imagined us picking everything out for the baby’s room. That would be so much fun to do with you.”

“Yeah, it would be.” you say and lean over to kiss him, “I’ll admit…you do make it sound like a very good idea.”

“When I got to the register, they asked how old my baby was.”

You reach out to rub Harper’s cheek and look at John. “And what did you say?”

“Said I had a nine month old. I didn’t want to seem weird just buying all this stuff, so I lied and said my wife was at home with our baby.” he says and you both laugh.

“You’re so funny.” you laugh, curling up closer to John.

“Felt kinda good though. To say I had a baby.”

“Not that you had a wife?” you say, frowning more than you intended.

“No, that felt  _really_  good to say.”

“Mhm, sure.” you bump his shoulder, and he laughs.

“I promise, that felt…amazing to say. That I had a wife and baby that I needed to get home to. Yeah...” he nods and looks down at Harper as she fights to keep her eyes open then looks back to you. “It felt really good.”

“Well, you don’t have a wife or baby to get home to, but you have me, and I don’t want to toot my own horn but…” you lean closer to John and whisper, “I think I’m the next best thing.”

“Definitely. You  _are_ the best thing.”

You jokingly flick your hair off your shoulder and puff up your chest, “Thank you.”

“So, do I just lay her in her bed?” he asks as he gets up from the couch.

“Yeah, I’m sure she’ll fall right asleep.” you follow behind him, grabbing the baby monitor to set it up.

Watching from the doorway, you smile when you see John press a quick kiss to Harper’s cheek as he lays her in the bed. He sets up the monitor in several spots, trying to find the perfect place and he looks up at you for your approval when he sets it on the side table. You look at the monitor in your hand and give John a thumbs up.

He closes the door a little and turns to you, “Think she’ll be fine?”

“Yeah.” you say as you sit back on the couch, “Why didn’t you want her in our room? I thought you slept fine with her in there.”

You’re embarrassed to admit how much you liked having her in your room. Even though it was only one night, it was nice to look over and see her tiny hands balled into fists and her chubby cheeks.

John kneels in front of you and smiles, “I did, but this morning I wanted to kiss you so bad. I wanted to rip your clothes off and feel your body under mine, but I couldn’t because there was a baby staring at me.”

You start to laugh and nod your head, “I figured.”

“I can’t keep myself away from you. I mean, can you blame me? That dress you were wearing last night, I thought about it all night.” his hands trail up your thighs, and you smile. “Oh! I got something for you _._  Close your eyes.”

John doesn’t move until you close your eyes, and you feel him move your hands so they cover your face. You hear him shuffling around in the kitchen and a plastic bag being opened. The house goes quiet and you remove your hands from your face, still keeping your eyes closed.

“John?” you call out and hear his shoes on the floor as he slowly walks back into the living room. You hear him kneeling down in front of you, his thumb brushes over your bottom lip and you almost jump.

“You can open them now.” John is kneeling in front of you with a cupcake on a plate and a single candle lit. “Happy birthday.”

“Jonathan!” You start to smile and reach out to caress his cheek. “Thank you so much, baby.”

“For the birthday girl.” he says and holds the plate up in front of your face. “Make a wish.”

Tapping your finger to your chin, you look around the room as you think of what to wish for. You look at John and smile, “I already have everything I want.”

“And _I’m_  the cheesy one?” he laughs and puts the plate in your face again. “Make a wish, baby.”

“Okay, fine,” you close your eyes and blow out the candle. “There, I made a wish.”

John puts the plate on the table and moves to sit next to you, reaching out for your hand. “I’m sorry I ruined your birthday.”

“You didn’t ruin my birthday, I promise. I don’t mind having them here, I really don’t.”

“I promise to make it up to you.” he says, and presses a kiss to your hand.

“John! There’s nothing to make up for, you didn’t ruin my birthday. Stop saying that, you dork.” you laugh and jokingly shove John away.

“Did you get any presents from anyone else?”

“Well, I don’t know if Tess got me anything, she was a little busy.” you laugh and lean back on the couch next to John. “April sent me a really nice text, said she wanted to get lunch sometime soon, you’re invited as well.”

“That’s nice of her.”

You grab two cards off the coffee table and hand them to John, “I got cards from my mom.”

“Two cards?” he laughs, holding them and waiting for your approval to read them.

“Yeah, she always sends me one really sappy card and one funny card. Balance.” you laugh and watch as John opens the cards.

John reads the cards and looks up at you, “She misses you a lot.”

You sigh and nod, “She does, but she’ll be here soon for the wedding and I’ll get to spend a few days with her.”

“Do you wish you could see her more?” he asks, putting the cards on the table and moving back to hold you. “That was a dumb question, of course you wish you could see her more.”

You lean your head against John’s shoulder and laugh, “Yeah, I do.”

“Do you wish you lived there?” he asks, stroking your hair.

“No,” you sit up and look at John, “I love my life here, because you’re here and I love what we have together. Our home, our dog, our friends. This is my home, this is where I belong. With you.”

A wide smile spreads across John’s face and he pulls you onto his lap to straddle him, “This is where you belong.”

“On your lap?” you tease, cocking up an eyebrow.

John starts to laugh and pulls you close to kiss him. “You know you can just buy a plane ticket and go there whenever you want, right?”

“Well, I cant. A ticket from here to there is like $500. That’s a lot of money, Mr. Wick.”

“You’re so cute.” John laughs and grips your waist, “I would be willing to pay for your tickets, anytime you want to go. If you want to fly there and back three times a day, I’m fine with that.”

“You would do that for me?” you smile softly at John and lean down to kiss him.

“Of course.” he nods and cups your face, “I would miss you like crazy if you left for a few weeks. I’d miss you even if it was a day, but I want you to be able to go home whenever you want.”

“That’s really sweet of you, John.”

“I just want you to be happy, and I want you to be able to see your mom as much as you want. I know you’d never do it because of money, but you don’t need to worry about that anymore. I’m gonna take care of you.”

“God, you are so fucking sweet.” you say and bite your lip when you see how gorgeous he looks in the light.

“So, what did you wish for?” he asks, looking down at his hands on your waist.

“You really wanna know?” you lick your lips and he nods fast, his hand slowly moving to the button of your pants. “…Yeah, I wished for that.”

“Say it.” his voice soft and low, whispering in your ear, “Say what you wished for.”

“You.” you say, straightforward and move to sit back on the couch.

He pulls you back and cups your face, “What about me?”

You know he wants you to say you want him and you smirk a little, looking down at the cupcake on the table, and an idea blossoms in your head. You take a little frosting on your finger, which thankfully is white so it won’t stain your teeth, and you slowly put your finger in your mouth, sucking on it.

John watches closely and his hands move up your thighs a little more, and you swear he almost growls. You’re torturing the hell out of him and loving every minute of it. John looks down at the cupcake for a moment and sticks his finger in the frosting, then presses his finger to your lips.

“You want me to suck it?” you say with his finger pressed to your lips and he nods. You open your mouth and he slides his finger in as you run your tongue over his finger, sucking as he starts to slide it in and out. Meeting John’s gaze, it’s intense, burning holes into your skin and you shiver. “I want you for my birthday. That’s all I want, so I hope you didn’t get me any presents. Well, aside from my book we did together and my flowers.”

“Nope, no other presents.” John smirks as he stands up, revealing the erection that has been growing in his pants. “Well, just one.”

“Oh, you love to spoil me, don’t you?”


	38. Chapter 38

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **warnings:** smut smut smut

Hopping over the back of the couch, John chases you through the living room, trying to be as quiet as possible when you run past the guest bedroom. When you get in your bedroom, you watch as John quietly closes the door and locks it. You place the monitor on the side table and make sure Harper is still asleep – she is.

You turn around and see John already naked from the waist down, and you watch as he pulls his shirt over his head and tosses it to the floor. His body is amazing, and you whimper a little when you look down and are reminded of just how big John is.

“Wow,” you almost lose your breath as he walks over. “You are…”

“What’s wrong?” he stops as he covers himself with both hands.

“You’re just…you’re making me nervous.” you laugh.

“Did I do something wrong?”

“No!” you walk over to him and wrap your arms around his neck, “Not at all. You’re just so…” you back away and gesture to him, “Beautiful, every part of you.”

John looks breathtaking today, his hair is fluffy from the new shampoo you bought, but it’s also a little longer than usual and you like it. His face is free of all cuts and scrapes – for once. His toned arms look soft, but also like they could crush you in an instant. Those eyes…so warm and dark, you want to swim in them. His lips are plump and pink, perfect for kissing. You’ve seen the way people look at John, he’s beautiful, and you don’t blame them for staring.

You swallow hard and find yourself nervous as if this is the first time you’ve ever had sex with him. “You’re just beautiful, baby.”

He starts to laugh and reaches out for you again. He leans down and kisses you, slipping his tongue into your mouth as he unbuttons your pants. You back away and pull your shirt over your head, watching as his eyes scan your body. He shakes his head and sighs when you remove your bra, and his hands come up to caress your breasts.

“What?” you move his hands and quickly cover your chest, feeling too exposed.

“You.” he says, staring into your eyes. He smiles and cups your face in one hand. “ _You_  are beautiful.”

You roll your eyes and laugh, “Oh, please.”

“You’re gorgeous.” he says as he lays you down and tugs your jeans off, throwing them carelessly to the floor.

“Don’t do that, you’re just being nice because I started it.”

“Not true. Not true  _at all_.” he says, shaking his head. “You are so beautiful.”

“Not as beautiful as you though.”

“Peach, stop.” he says and leans up to look at you. You’re still covering your chest, and he gently moves your arms, pinning them above your head. He lays down on top of you, intertwining his fingers with yours. “You are  _so_ beautiful. What can I do to convince you?”

“Um…” you say and tilt your head to the side as John kisses your neck.

“You know what I think? I think someone has made you believe that you’re not beautiful, probably that loser you dated, and it couldn’t be further from the truth. Baby, I promise you are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen, and I wouldn’t lie to you.”

“Yes, you would.” you laugh, and John sits up to kneel on the bed.

“Remember when you came to see me at the hotel…after everything happened?” he says and you nod. “Well, remember how you said you would tell me every day that I was a good man until I believed it? You  _do_  tell me, and that’s what I’m going to do with you. I’ll tell you that you’re beautiful every single day.”

“You already tell me every day how beautiful I am, and I believe you. I’ve never felt sexier than I do now that I’m with you. You make me feel  _so fucking_  sexy, John. You make me want to run around the house naked or wear lingerie, and I’ve  _never_  been like that before.”

“You never run around the house naked.” he frowns and lays down on top of you again.

“Not  _yet_.” you smirk, and he quickly kisses you.

John’s hands slowly caress every inch of your body and he smiles, “You do wear lingerie, but you haven’t done it in a while though.”

“Soon.” you say and lean up to kiss John again. “I’m sorry, I’m just having an off day…or afternoon.”

“It’s okay, but next time you say you’re not beautiful…” he says, raising his eyebrows.

“Oh, what are you gonna do about it?” you smirk, and John flips you over, spanking your ass as you laugh. “Oh, my god, Jonathan!”

“Look at your ass when I spank it. Look at it jiggle.” he says, laughing and leans down to press his lips to it. “So fucking perfect.”

“Bite me.” you say and feel John’s teeth on your ass, “Okay, not that hard.”

John starts to laugh and rests his head on your ass, and you prop yourself up and look over your shoulder to see him laying on you with his eyes closed. You bounce your ass a little to get his attention, and he wraps his finger around the waistband of your thong, pulling it and snapping it against your skin.

“You just gonna use my ass as a pillow now?” you laugh.

“I could, it’s comfy enough.” he sits up and shakes your ass in both hands, then leans down to kiss it one last time. He rolls you back over and his eyes scan your body as he starts to smile, “I can’t believe you’re mine. All of this…is  _mine_. You’re so fucking beautiful!”

“Shh!” you press your finger to his lips, and he smiles.

Trailing kisses down your neck to your breast, he caresses it in his hand, biting and sucking on your nipple. You scoot up on the bed a little and turn to check the monitor,  _she’s still sleeping._ John kisses over your stomach, bringing your attention back to him, and he smiles when your eyes meet.

“Let’s get these off.” he says and pulls your underwear off, throwing them over his shoulder, and you watch as they land on the dresser.

John spreads your legs and stares at your pussy, licking his lips, and he looks up at you as he leans down to rub his beard against your thigh.

“You wanna know what I think?”

“What do you think?” he says in between pressing wet kisses to your thighs.

You prop yourself up on your elbows and clear your throat to get John to look at you, “I think your face would look really good between my legs.”

John starts to laugh and leans up to kiss you, and you catch a glimpse of how hard he is. “I think it would too.”

“Well, are you hungry?”

“Starving.” he says and spreads your legs, kissing over your thighs and teasing you before finally burying his face.

His wet, warm tongue glides across your clit and you moan against the back of your hand as you lay back down. You reach out and tug at his hair to pull him closer, craving more, and he intensifies his licking and sucking and you feel your whole body pulse with pleasure as you desperately grab at the sheets.

“Fuck,” he moans and leans up to watch as he slides his fingers over your clit and into your pussy. “So fucking beautiful.”

“You like licking me, baby?” you say, propping yourself up again to watch John between your legs.

“Mhm, you taste so good too.” he slips in another finger as he licks feverishly. “My favorite meal.”

When John notices you watching, he flattens his tongue and slowly drags it over your pussy, trying his hardest not to smile when you tilt your head back and moan loudly.

“Show off.” you laugh.

John removes his fingers and spreads you further, and his tongue darts in and out. You open your mouth to scream but nothing comes out and you gasp for air, looking back down to watch him.

“Holy shit, John. Just like that. Just like that, baby.” you moan and hear John laugh between your legs. “I love your fucking beard on my thighs.”

“Peach, you’re so wet.” he hums and sucks on your clit. You try to move away from his mouth, on the edge of an orgasm, but he pulls you back. “Such a nice view, watching you squirm for me, dripping wet.”

“If you keep talking to me like that, I’m gonna come, andI  _really_  don’t want this be over.” you say, and John pulls away as you gasp for air and you look up at ceiling, laughing. “I’ll never get over how good you are with your mouth, baby.”

“I’ll never get over  _this_.” he says, eyes raking over your body and locking onto yours.

“What?” you ask, tilting your head in confusion.

“This.” he starts to laugh, slowly sliding himself between your legs, and you feel the sweet pressure of his cock between your hips.

Arching your back, your eyes roll shut and you let out a quiet moan. “Oh.”

“Yeah…” he nods and presses his body on top of you as he rolls his hips.

John sets the pace –- slow and sensual. You were hoping for a quickie since there’s a baby downstairs, but when you see John’s eyes roll shut, you let out a moan, ultimately giving in.

“I can’t believe…” a moan interrupts him, and he laughs with his eyes still closed. “Fuck.”

“Can’t believe what, baby?” you whisper, pulling him closer.

“I can’t believe this is my life.”

“Why?” you ask and wrap your arms around his neck so you can tangle your fingers in his hair.

“I don’t know, it’s just hard to believe that I get to wake up to you every morning. You’re just…mine. I never thought I’d get this again. I can kiss you when I want,” he looks down, watching himself slide in and out, moaning and taking deep thrusts, “Make love to you when I want. _..fuck_  you when I want. _”_

“Yeah, well, I think I want you more than you want me though, because I’m like…always ready to have sex.” you laugh, and John shakes his head, disagreeing.

“Not even possible, and don’t fight me on it.” he says and rests his elbows on either side of you and kisses you, “Best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

“You really mean that?” you ask and John’s face gets serious.

“Yes,” he nods and kisses you slowly, “I mean that, I really do. You are the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

A smile starts to spread across your face, and you feel tears filling your eyes. John has told you many times how much he loves you, and how much he loves having you around. Even so, it still turns you into a weepy mess every time. Having someone who genuinely loves you is all you’ve ever wanted, and you’ve found that in John.

“Why are you crying, baby?” he asks and stops moving.

You grab at his ass and push him in deeper, “Keep going.”

“Why are you crying though?” he asks again, slowly rocking his hips.

“I just love you so fucking much, it makes me cry.” you say, and John kisses your tears away. “I’ve just never been this happy before. I never thought being this happy was even possible.”

John holds tight to you, flipping you both over and you hate to do it, but you check the monitor and see Harper still asleep. Looking back down at John, you put the baby monitor face down and roll your hips. Gently, his arms wrap around your back, and he pulls you down on top of him, close enough to kiss you, and he rubs his nose against yours and smiles.

“I love you.” he whispers. His thumb traces over your cheekbone and down to your bottom lip. “I love you, baby.”

“I love you, John.” you say, breathlessly.

Your tongues entwine in a kiss, and you feel his hands moving up your back. Moving your hips perfectly in sync with his, you pull away from his lips just long enough to catch your breath, then go back in for more. His left hand slides back down your back and cups your ass, spanking you.

You start to laugh and lean up to look at him. “You  _really_ like my ass, don’t you?”

“Yes,” he moans when you buck your hips again. “It’s one of my favorite things about you.”

“Oh,” you laugh. “What else?”

“Physically?”

“Sure.” you nod.

“Your tits are incredible,” he says, squeezing your breast in his right hand and sucking on your nipple. “Really nice.”

“What else?” you ask and sit up straight, gesturing to your body.

“Your thighs, your hair, your eyes, your smile, your nose.” he says, touching each body part.

“That’s like…everything on my body, John.”

“Exactly, I love  _everything_ about you.” He moans quietly and places his hands on your hips, helping you bounce up and down on him. “Your hips, those are good too.”

“Fuck, you feel so good.” you squeeze your eyes shut and shiver. “And it’s so hot how hard you are for me too.”

“Always, I  _always_  am.” he starts to laugh.

“I mean, even when you’re doing stuff just for _me_ , like earlier…you’re still hard.”

John nods his head and reaches out to caress your cheek, “Because I love you, and pleasing you is one of my favorite things to do.”

You lean back down to kiss John, pushing your tongue into his mouth, “I can taste myself on your tongue.”

“Tastes good, doesn’t it?” he nods.

“I’ll admit, I do taste pretty good,” you laugh, and John pulls you back down to him. “And it’s really hot how much  _you_  love it.”

John looks down at you rotating your hips on him, and he lets out a loud moan that echoes throughout the room. You quickly press your hand to his mouth, freezing in place.

“Be quiet.” you laugh, still pressing your hand to his mouth.

He bucks his hips, and his eyes grow wide when your breasts bounce, so he does it again and again. You quickly cross your arms over your chest and laugh when he starts to frown. You lean back and use his thighs for leverage as you roll your hips again, biting down on your lip to curb a moan.

“God, you’re so wet. I did that, I made you that wet. That’s amazing.” he says when he looks down to see his cock glistening with your slickness, and you watch as his eyes roll shut.

“You’ve been doing it for months and it still amazes you?” you laugh.

“Yeah,” he says, then looks up at you, “When was the first time I ever made you wet?”

“Oh gosh, I don’t know.” you shrug and lean down, running your tongue over John’s chest and nipples.

“Yes, you do.”

“Fine.” you say and sit back up, still rolling your hips, “The day I brought your mail over, that day really changed everything, didn’t it?”

“It did. Thanks to me.” he smiles.

You roll your eyes playfully at John and laugh, “When we were on the couch talking, you were just staring at me – like you  _always_  do – and I looked over at you, hoping you would stop staring at me but you didn’t, you just kept staring. I tried to get out of here as fast as I could. I didn’t think you were a creep or anything, you just made me really fucking nervous.”

“I remember, I wanted you to stay longer and talk some more, but you just  _left_. And for the record, I stare at you because you’re beautiful, and I’m just in awe of you.” he says and intertwines his fingers with yours. “You were so nervous and you kept licking your lips too. I couldn’t help but stare, you were so cute.”

“Because I wanted to kiss you!” you laugh and lean down to kiss John. “It was hard back then to keep eye contact with you, you always made me so nervous, and seeing how handsome you were definitely didn’t help. I was just looking at you and we made eye contact, and I just…”

“Just what?” he asks and closes his eyes when you roll your hips.

“I just got that ache between my legs that I always get when I’m around you. I think that was the first time I got a  _really_  good look at you. Because when we met, it was so bright and the sun was shining in my eyes. I probably looked like an idiot with my face all scrunched up because of the sun.”

“You looked cute.” he says and taps your nose. “So, you were just sitting on the couch with your panties all wet?”

You scrunch your face up and laugh, “When you say it like that…”

“Would it be bad if I said I wanted to bend you over the couch and fuck you right then and there?” John says, and you feel your stomach fill with butterflies.

“No. To be honest, I wanted you to.”

“You looked so fucking good that day.” John holds you still as he jerks his hips hard under you, and you grab at his chest for support. “I won’t lie, I checked out your ass when I walked you to the door.”

“Of course you did, I knew you were.” you say and move John’s hands to cup your breasts and grab his biceps, “When I touched your arm when I was leaving…and I felt how big your arms are, my panties were  _soaked_.”

“Yeah, I’ll admit I got hard from that, your hand on me. You were so gentle, and it was the first time a woman had touched me…in a long time. I was going to ask you out right then, but I had to  _fix_  myself first.” he laughs and scoots up the bed to rest against the headboard. “That’s why I had to run after you down the driveway.”

“That’s so hot.” you say and crash your lips to his.

John wraps his arms around your waist, and he guides you in attempt to bring you closer to completion. You breathe in deep, in and out, over and over, moaning with each other. He reaches out, rubbing his fingers against your clit, and you cover your mouth as you moan loudly.

“Fuck, I’m gonna come.” Tilting your head back, you feel waves of pleasure wash over you and hear John laugh. When you look down at John, he’s watching in astonishment.

“See, I can’t believe this is my life.”

You buck your hips hard and grab his shoulders for support as you grind against him hard. “I can’t believe this is  _my_  life.”

You bite down on your lip and John knows you’re close. He scoots back down the bed and rolls on top of you, lightly pressing his hand to your mouth as you moan loudly, and he lets out a groan when you widen your legs, allowing him to move in deeper. You slowly shut your eyes as he thrusts hard several times, and you let out a string of moans that are muffled by his hand. You hear John let out a laugh again and you squint your eyes open.

“You gotta be quiet, baby.” he moves his hand off your mouth, and you grab it and bring two fingers into your mouth, sucking and licking them. “You like that? Tasting yourself on my fingers?”

“Yeah.” you nod, and John removes his fingers from your mouth and sucks on them.

He moves the hair out of your face again and gazes at you, “Tell me how you want it.”

“Harder.” you demand and John sits up a little, flicking his hair out of his face to see you.

“Happy,” he grunts so hard as he thrusts that he loses his breath. “…birthday, baby.”

Placing a pillow over your mouth to drown out the sounds of your screams of pleasure, you feel John grabbing at your chest, and you tremble when you feel his tongue gliding across your nipple. Every nerve in your body is pulled so tight, you think they’re going to snap.

The bed starts to creak from John’s thrusts and you move the pillow to see him smiling, clearly pleased with himself. You reach out for him and he lifts you up, wrapping his arm around your waist and the other around your back, holding tight as he begins fucking you harder. The sound of skin slapping skin fills the room and you hate how much it turns you on.

“Fuck, baby…you,” he moans loudly and sloppily kissing you. “You are so fucking amazing.”

Still holding tight to you, he leans down and leaves delicate kisses everywhere. His breath is warm, and his lips are tender and soft. He kisses down your shoulder, over your collar bone and you know he’s making his way to your breast. You buck your hips, letting out another loud moan, and you look at John as he raises his eyebrow, silently warning you to be quieter, even though he’s being just as loud.

“ _I can’t help it_. You feel so good today. You always feel so good, but today…” you close your eyes, and rest your head on his shoulder. “I’m done for.”

Squeezing your legs around him tighter, you ride out your orgasm and let out another moan in the crook of his neck when you feel John coming. He plops you back down on the bed, resting his elbows on either side of you and slowly kisses you as his fingers tangle in your hair. You swallow and let out a big breath as you tilt your head back on the pillow. He’s still erect and inside of you, slowly thrusting and he moans.

“John,” you moan loudly and grab at his ass to push him back in deeper. “Fuck me, baby. More. I want more.”

John laughs breathlessly and kisses you, “Fine with me.”

You do want more, but you’re overly sensitive and when you squeeze your legs shut, he starts to slip out. “Mmm.”

John leans up again to look at you and when you open your eyes, he’s beaming. “Still want more?”

“Sorry, I can’t.” you laugh, and he leans down to kiss you. “Too sensitive right now.”

“That’s okay.” he says and slowly slides out, watching you squeeze your eyes shut as you moan. “Beautiful, every single inch of you.”

“Later tonight?” you raise your eyebrows and smile as you both pant, trying your hardest to catch your breath.

“Yes, please.”

“More birthday sex. The only gift I want is…your cock.” you gesture to him dramatically. “Oh, my god, you should totally make me a mold of yourself…so I have it when you’re away.”

John looks up at you and laughs, “What?”

“Yeah, you know there’s like kits that you can buy and you…well, I don’t know what you do exactly, but…” you shrug and reach down to stroke John, “It would be a  _very_  nice gift. Honestly, if we didn’t do the book and you didn’t get me flowers, you are the only gift I would have wanted.”

“About that…” he says, and reaches across you to open the drawer on his side table and pulls out a small box. “I did get you something else. Don’t be mad at me, I can’t help it.”

“John!” you say and shove the box back to him. “You already spent so much time on that book, I can’t take anything else. And those flowers, I know those cost you a fortune. That bouquet was _huge_.”

“You’re not taking it, I’m  _giving_  it to you. I like spending money on you and buying you nice things, I know you didn’t have all this stuff growing up, neither did I and we deserve it.”

You roll your eyes at John and start to give in when he smiles at you. “Ugh! Fine. I’ve liked everything you’ve given me so far, but let’s see what kind of jewelry you bought me this time.” you open the box and see a pair of simple diamond earrings, stunning and shining bright in the light. “Holy shit.”

“You like them?” he asks and pulls the blanket over the two of you. “I saw them and thought you’d like them. I’ve had them for weeks, it was so hard not to give it to you right away.”

“They’ve just been sitting in here for weeks?”

John laughs and nods, “Yeah, you’re  _really_ oblivious, which works out well for me because you literally never notice anything.”

“I do, too.” you say and frown a little, still looking at the earrings. “Okay true, I don’t notice anything. You could probably cheat on me and I’d never even know.”

John hovers over you, peppering your face with kisses and he sighs, “Well, you  _know_  I’d never do that though…right?”

You look up at John and he slowly nods, trying to get you to agree. A smile spreads across your face and you lean up to kiss him. “Right.”

“Good.” he says, inches from your face and he kisses you again.

“I really like these. They’re beautiful.” you run your fingers over the earrings and shove them in John’s face like he’s never seen them. “So pretty.”

“Yeah, I thought they would match your necklace and your bracelet.”

“Thank you for everything.” you say, kissing John. “Now I got a necklace, a bracelet, and some earrings. You know what I’m missing though?”

“I know,” he nods and leans down to kiss you again. “A ring, I know.”

You stick your hand out in front of you, wiggling your ring finger, “It’s pretty lonely and bare, Mr. Wick.”

John laughs as he takes the box from you and removes of the earrings. “Put them on.”

You sit up straight and quickly put the earrings on. “Do they look good?”

“They do,” John scoots off the bed and reaches into the pockets of his jeans and pulls out his phone. “I want a picture.”

“Nooo,” you whine and lay back down, covering your face with the pillow and after a few seconds, you peek over to see John kneeling in front of you with his phone. “No, John. We just had sex, I probably look like a mess.”

“Oh come on, you know that’s not true. Please, peach.”

“Don’t call me that. You know how much I like when you call me that and I’m gonna give in.” you say, and your voice is muffled from the pillow. John pulls it off your face and tosses it to the side, and you cover your face with your hands.

“Let me see your face!” he says and laughs as he tries to tug your fingers away. “Please. Why are you being like this? I just want to see your face, baby.”

You remove your hands from your face, staring at him with a straight face. “Fine.”

“Well, are you gonna smile?” he slouches a little, and you try to stop the smile that’s spreading across your face.

“There.”

“Thank you.” he says and you know he’s taking dozens of pictures. “Beautiful.”

You look down at your bare chest and laugh, “You just wanted to take pictures because you can see my boobs!”

“No, you can’t.” he turns his phone to show the picture, “It’s just your face.”

“Oh, whew!” you say, wiping your brow, “Your entire camera roll is just pictures of me, isn’t it?”

John places his phone on the side table and shakes his head, “No.”

“You got other girlies in your phone, John?” you tease and poke at his chest.

He lets out a loud laugh and flips you on your side, spooning you. “Of course not. I only have pictures of you and Bleu on my phone. And before you, there were only pictures of Bleu and…”

“Yeah.”

_Helen._

“No,” he laughs, and you look over your shoulder as his cheeks turn pink. “Pictures of my car.”

You bury your face in your pillow as you gasp for air, laughing. “Typical.”

“What about you? What kind of pictures do you have on your phone?” He asks and presses a small kiss to your ear.

“Uh,” you laugh, and he gets up to grab your phone from your pants.

“Show me. I know you have some good stuff on there. Probably a lot of pictures of your pretty face.” he says, pressing a kiss to your temple and handing your phone to you.

You clear your throat as unlock your phone and swipe through your pictures. “Just some pictures of Bleu and uh, quite a few of you. Me and Tess.”

“Oh, that’s a good one of you and Tess. When was that?”

“Uh, I don’t know. A few months ago, maybe. You can see we were bored at work. Oh! This one is one of my favorites of you. Look at your fucking face, you’re so damn sexy.” you say and look over at John, “This is the face you always make when you want me, it’s hot.”

“So, I make it all the time?” he looks over at you, giving the same exact look from the picture.

“Stop it.” you laugh and continue looking through the pictures. “I love this one too. I’ll admit, my ass looks really good.”

“Ooh, I like that one, I remember when you posted that.” he says and turns your phone, “Youare so sexy, look at your ass.”

You quickly swipe when you see a picture that you took for John while he was away but never sent. “Oh, another one of you.”

“No, go back.”

“No.” you lock your phone and tuck it under your pillow, and John reaches under and grabs it. “Jonathan Wick!”

“I want to see it.” he says and flips on his right side as you climb on him trying to get your phone.

“John!” you yell, and he lays flat on his stomach, hiding your phone underneath him. You straddle his back as you try to reach under him and get your phone.

“You can’t even reach it.” he laughs and looks over his shoulder at you. “I’m too big compared to you.”

You try your best to reach under him, but he doesn’t budge and he continues laughing.

“Well, I know something you don’t know…”

“Oh, what’s that?” he says, still looking over his shoulder.

“I know…” you pull the blanket down, revealing John’s bare ass. “That you’re ticklish on your butt.”

“Am I now?”

“Yup!” you say and lightly rub your fingers over his ass, waiting for him to squirm but he doesn’t. “Okay, so maybe not there. But…” you straddle him again and kiss over his back, lifting his arms above his head. You sneak your hands into his underarms and tickle John as the two of you laugh. “I knew it! I  _knew_  you would be ticklish there.”

“Stop it.” he laughs and you move lower, tickling the back of knees, “Enough.”

John sits up and plops you back down on the bed, taking both of your wrists in his hand and pinning them above your head. “You’re ticklish…”

“Am not.” you shake your head, trying your hardest not to laugh or squirm.

“Are too.” he says, and his fingers trail down your stomach. He rolls you onto your side to face him and his fingers lightly graze your skin down to your ass. “Right…here. Right under your ass.”

You bury your face in his chest as you laugh and he tickles you relentlessly. “John! Stop. I’m gonna scream and wake Harper up.”

“She can’t even hear us.” he says, still tickling you but moving to your stomach instead.

“Well, I’m gonna piss myself if you don’t stop.” you say, still laughing hysterically to the point where tears are forming in your eyes.

He finally stops and cups your face, “Your laugh is so cute, and you scrunch your nose up when you laugh, it’s cute.”

“You get little crinkles around your eyes when you laugh and smile, cutest shit I’ve ever seen.” you say, touching the corner of John’s eye.

“You calling me old?” John jokes, and you burst out laughing again as you shake your head. “I don’t think I’ve ever told you this, but the first time I ever made you laugh…it gave me butterflies.”

“When was the first time you ever made me laugh?”

“Our first date. I told you a  _terrible_  joke, and you just lost it laughing. One of my favorite memories.”

You gasp and sit up, “I remember! It was the terrible book joke!”

“What has a spine, but no bones?”

“A book.” you both say in unison and laugh.

“That really is a bad joke, Jonathan.” you lay back down and pull John down to you, “But I love you and your dumb jokes.”

“I love you too.” he says, and you wrap your arms around John, trying your hardest to pull him on top of you as you spread your legs for him and he starts to laugh. “I know what you’re trying to do. You’re not getting your phone back.”

“Jonathan Wick! Stop it!” you try to grab your phone and he rolls over on his side again. You climb onto him again, trying to grab your phone, “Give it back.”

“No.”

“Fine.” you plop back down on the bed, curling into a ball.

“Oh, you are  _so_ dramatic.” he laughs and turns back to face you.

“Well, good luck, you don’t even know my password.” you say and gasp when John unlocks it on the first try.

“Predictable.” he shakes his head and laughs, “That’s cute though, our anniversary. Well, we haven’t even had our one year anniversary yet. Wait…”

“Yes, it was the day we  _met_. I consider that our anniversary, would you? Ya know, since you never  _actually_ asked me to be your girlfriend until months later.”

John looks around the room as he thinks then he nods, “Yeah, I would. I was yours the moment I met you. Well actually, even before that.”

“You are  _killing_  me today.” you reach up to cup his face and pull him in to kiss you.

John swipes through your pictures, and he starts to laugh when he sees all the pictures you’ve been hiding from him. “Oh, my god.”

“What?” you ask and turn your phone in his hand to see a picture of you in a sheer bra. “Oh.”

John swipes through more pictures and even though he’s covered by the blanket, you can see him growing hard just from looking at them. “Why haven’t you sent any of these to me?”

“I don’t know, I guess I didn’t know if they were any good.” you shrug.

John pulls the blanket down to reveal his cock, and he strokes himself a few times, “Yeah, they’re good.”

“You could get off on these?” you ask and flip onto your side to face John.

“Are you kidding?  _Absolutely_.” he swipes through more pictures, and he gasps when he sees one of you pulling your panties to the side. “Definitely this one,” he starts to swipe through more and he laughs, “And this one, this one too,  _definitely_  this one of your ass.”

“Okay, okay, I get it.” you say and John continues looking at them.

“A video?” he looks at you, curiosity growing, “Why have you not sent me  _this_?”

“Do not push play.” you say, and John, of course, does and he moans when he sees you pull your shirt off and caress your breasts. “God.”

“You are unreal, baby. You keep surprising me, you know that?” he says and leans down to kiss your forehead.

“How long is this video?” you say, covering your face with your hands.

John’s right hand travels under the blanket, and peeking from behind your hand, you see him stroking himself under the blanket.

“Fuck.” he whispers, and he pulls the blanket up a little, eyes darting back and forth between his cock and the video.

“Jonathan!” you say and move the blanket off of him. “Are you really doing this right now?”

“I can’t help it. You’re so sexy.” he says, still stroking himself but staring at you instead.

“How about I help you?” you suggest and move his hand so you can stroke him a few times. You lean up and wrap your lips around his cock, slowly sliding him into your mouth.

“Oh, my god…” John moans and buries his hand in your hair, helping you bob up and down.

You pull him back out and run your tongue over the tip of his cock, sucking him again before finally laying back down, “Yeah, you’re  _definitely_  gonna get it tonight.”

He laughs and crawls back on top of you, “Please send those pictures to me, oh, and the video.”

“Well, I really should just delete them. What if someone stole my phone?”

“They’d be in for a treat.” he says and flips you over so he can spoon you.

“I don’t want some  _stranger_  lookin’ at me.”

“Yeah, you’re right. I don’t like the idea either. Don’t delete them, just make sure not to get your phone stolen, because this…” his hands explore your body, and he leans close to your ear, “This is all  _mine_. How about you send them to me? I want to have them, I can look at you when I’m away.”

“Yeah, but then you won’t wanna facetime with me anymore.”

“Yes, I will. Are you kidding me? Facetiming is  _much_  better than any picture or video, but sometimes you’re so tired when I call you because it’s so late, and I don’t want to bother you.” he says, pressing his lips to your ear.

“You really wanna jack off after you’ve spent the whole day tracking someone down and killing them?”

“I don’t think you realize how sexy you are. I try not to think about you when I’m working though.” he runs his hands over thigh and up to your breast, “You’re very distracting.”

“You don’t think about me when you’re working?”

John laughs and shakes his head, “I try not to. Sorry.”

“Oh, no, I’m not like offended or anything.” you laugh and turn around to face John.

“Sometimes I do think about you though,” John looks up at you and frowns a little. “You help me push through. The thought of you at home waiting for me helps a lot, and then I push through everything because I need to get back to you.”

You give John a weak smile and sigh, “I hate the thought of me just sitting at home, watching a movie and eating popcorn while you’re out there…bleeding, tired, and scared.”

“Oh no, I’m never  _scared_.” he laughs and leans down to kiss you, “Remember, I’m very good at my job.”

“Cocky.”

“Confident.” he says and wraps his arms around you.

You laugh and close your eyes, listening to John breathing and after a few minutes, you reach for the baby monitor to check on Harper.

“Is she still asleep?”

“Yup.” you say, feeling John’s beard on your shoulder as he nuzzles into the crook of your neck.

The two of you lay there watching Harper sleep and John kisses your shoulder, “Hey, about last night…”

“I don’t want you to quit your job. Not for me.” you place the baby monitor back on the side table and look at John. “I told you that months ago.”

“You’d be okay with me leaving you alone with a baby for weeks at a time?”

“Oh, please. The longest you’ve been gone is two weeks.” you laugh and lean closer to kiss John. “I think I could handle two weeks on my own, and I have Tess and Jimmy too, so it’s not like I’m completely alone.”

“What if I got hurt, like badly hurt and couldn’t come home for a few more weeks?” he whispers and tucks your hair behind your ear, “What if I died? You’d have to take care of a baby on your own.”

“You could die now and I’d be left alone, don’t you ever think about that?”

John sighs deeply and nods, “Every time I’m gone.”

“Also, I thought you were confident about your job.”

“I am.” he says, nodding.

“You really think you could stay away from me for weeks? Even if you’re hurt? Impossible.” you say and John laughs.

“That’s true, I’d walk all the way home if I had to.” John frowns and rubs his thumb over your cheek, “But what if-–”

“What if I died during childbirth? You’d have to take care of a baby on your own. Hell, I could get in a car crash tomorrow and die.” you say, watching his eyes grow wide.

“Don’t.” his voice is firm, and his eyes grow sad. “I don’t want to think about that.”

“I’m sorry. I…I didn’t mean to, I’m sorry.”

John sighs and closes his eyes, leaning his forehead against yours. You push him on his back and hover over him, his hand automatically travelling down to cup your ass.

“Listen, it doesn’t matter. John, you need to learn to live in the moment. Stop thinking ten steps ahead – I know, it’s because of your job, but just…live in the moment. Live in the moment with _me_. We’ll cross that bridge when we get there– _if_  we get there.” you lay back down, nuzzling into his chest. “Just be in this moment with me.”

“Okay.” John’s index finger and thumb are on your chin, pulling your gaze to his. “I just want you to know…I  _would_ be willing to leave that life behind for you…and our future kids.”

“I know, John.” you wrap your arm around John’s chest and hug him tighter, “I know.”


	39. Chapter 39

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **warnings: none, just softness**

The bedroom door creaks open, but you’re too tired to lift your head to look. Slowly and reluctantly, you open your eyes when you feel the bed shift under the weight of someone. Looking up, you see Bleu tilt his head as he stares at you. He leans forward to sniff you and wags his tail when he sees you’re awake.

“Hi, baby.” you reach out to pet him and the sheet pulls down, revealing your naked body. “Oh, shit.”

He’s only a dog, but you still feel uncomfortable being naked in front of him. Bleu lays down, completely unaware as you frantically sit up and grab your bra from the floor. Bending over at the waist, you feel a dull ache between your legs, and you smile to yourself when you remember John’s birthday present to you.

Pulling your clothes on quickly, you open the bedroom door further and immediately hear Harper laughing.  _Well, someone is awake._

You slowly walk down the stairs and see John laying on his stomach with Harper on the floor in front of him. He reaches out and taps her nose with her finger, and she giggles loudly, drool dripping from her chin.

Focusing hard on being quiet, you don’t see Bleu’s squeaky duck toy on the floor and your foot lands on it causing it to squeak loudly. You freeze in place as John looks over his shoulder. When he sees you, he smiles wide and his eyes sparkle.

“Hey.” he laughs when he sees you frozen in place with your foot on the toy.

“Hi.”

“Come here.” John scoots over on the floor a little for you to lay next to him. He’s placed pillows all around Harper, and he has one arm stretched out to hold her back. “Come on, baby.”

“Hi, cutie.” you say and wave at Harper as she wiggles a little in place, seemingly happy to see you. You look down at John and smile, “Hi, handsome.”

“Good afternoon, beautiful.” John looks up at you as you straddle his back and you wrap your arms around his chest. “What are you doing?”

“You’re comfy.” you say and snuggle into his neck, inhaling his cologne; your favorite scent.

Harper’s little ankles are rotating and you know she’s going to start walking on her own soon, and you’re still hoping like hell it doesn’t happen while she’s at your house. She kicks her legs fast and you both laugh as you watch her.

John looks over his shoulder, puckering. “Can I have a kiss?”

“Yes, of course.”

You lick your lips, leaning over his shoulder and close to his face, slowly kissing him a few times and wanting to savor every second. You slide off his back and onto your side, lips still glued to his, and he wraps his free hand around your side and pulls you closer, until you’re on your back and almost under him. It’s uncomfortable, but you don’t care.

Pulling back, you smile softly and kiss his cheek, “Hi.”

“Hey.” he smiles.

Harper begins to babble and you roll over onto your stomach, resting your head on your hands. John starts to laugh and looks over at you as you talk to Harper.

“Tell me all about it, little lady.” you say, and Harper squeals loudly, “Oh my goodness, that’s  _so_  funny!”

“What’s she saying?” John laughs and looks back and forth between the two of you.

“She said that she doesn’t really like you, she likes me better.” you nudge John’s shoulder and he laughs. You look at John and nod to her. “Talk to her.”

“I don’t…” he looks back at Harper then at you again. “I don’t know what to say.”

“You were talking to her before I came out, continue your conversation.” you bump his shoulder with yours, and his cheeks turn pink with embarrassment.

John looks at Harper and starts laughing when she babbles unintelligibly. “Hi, Harper. I’m going to get your brother from school soon, and then we’re going to eat some dinner later, maybe go to the park and play with Bleu.”

“Why are you talking to her like she’s 80 years old?” you laugh, and John shrugs. “Talk to her like she’s a baby!”

“Uh…” John looks so out of his element, and he laughs again. “Hi, cutie.”

“Oh, god.” you cover your face with your hands, on the verge of tears. You look up at John as he talks to Harper, and the happiness on his face is making you sink into the floor. “So, what are we going to do for dinner? I’m starving already.” 

“I don’t know. We can do whatever, I’m fine with pizza or whatever you want. God, she really is a beautiful baby, isn’t she?” he says, and you smile when you see how comfortable John is getting. “You are so beautiful.”

Harper looks up at John as he talks to her and she smiles big, still babbling. She’s not saying anything of course, she’s only nine months old, but you and John both hear it clear as day: Dada.

Both you and John look at each other, eyes wide in shock. You hide your face in your hands and begin to laugh. John is in complete shock and keeps opening his mouth to talk, but nothing is coming out. When he finally manages to get the words out, he stutters.

“D-did she…did you…” John can’t get the words out, and he starts to laugh. “Did she just call me…what I think she called me?”

“John, she’s nine months old. She’s just babbling.” you look at John and you both know you’re lying, you heard it.

“She did, didn’t she?” John starts to tear up a little, and you scoot closer to him, rubbing his back.

“Baby…” you rest your head on John and smile at him. He hangs his head then looks back up at you quickly. “Don’t worry, I’m sure she’s said it to Aurelio too.”

“Do you think so?”

“Yes! Why do you think she’s saying it so much?” you say and look back at Harper, still saying it in between her giggles. “She’s _definitely_ said to to him already, I can guarantee it.” You look at John and sit up a little, watching his eyes fill with tears.

“Kinda made my heart melt.” he says, looking over at you.

“Yeah, mine too.” you nod and lean in to kiss John, tearing up as well. “And seeing your reaction…”

John wipes his eyes with his hand and sniffles, “Sorry, it was just…really cute.”

“You are so perfect, you know that?” you lay on your side and prop your head up on your hand, watching John as he plays with Harper.

“Stop.” he laughs and leans over to kiss you again.

“What time is it?” you ask and reach for his watch.

“A little after one. I’ll have to go get Benji in a bit. I have a few places I need to go first.” he says, picking up Harper in his arms and reaches down to help you up.

“Did you feed her?”

“Yeah.” he nods, beaming.

You look at Harper and notice her clothes: a rainbow striped shirt and peach colored polka pants. “You dressed her?”

“She helped me pick out her clothes.” he laughs and hugs her tight to his chest before handing her to you.

“Clearly…” you say, hoisting Harper on your hip.

“What does that mean?” he asks, offended.

You start to laugh and gesture to John. He’s wearing a pair of jeans that fit him perfectly and his shirt is just dark blue, but it probably costs over 40 dollars and the shoes he’s wearing, you remember from seeing a receipt for, and they cost quite a bit of money.

“I’ve seen your work suits. You have a great sense of fashion,” you hold Harper up in front of John and peek around her to see his face, “This is just… _bad_.”

“Hey! Be nice, she picked it all out.”

“Okay, okay.” you laugh and hoist Harper up on your hip again.

“I’m gonna head out now.” he says, kissing your cheek, and he brushes his thumb against Harper’s cheek. “Got a few places I need to go.”

“Oh, where do you need to go?” you ask, slipping your hand into his and he squeezes it tight, then brings it to his lips to press a few kisses to it.

“I’m going to the airport and then-–”

“The airport?” you cut him off, tilting your head a little.

“Yeah,” he says as he starts walking to the closet for his jacket, still holding your hand. “I like to go there and just drive a little bit. Gotta keep my skills… _sharp_.”

“Makes sense.” you nod.

“Plus, I’m getting a haircut.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa…you’re what?” you grab his arm as he turns. “You can’t.”

He starts to laugh, “And why is that?”

“I love your hair.” you say, running your fingers through it and he closes his eyes. “Please don’t cut it.”

He shoves his hands in his pockets and shrugs, “Well, I don’t want it long anymore. So, I’m just going to shave it all off. My beard as well.”

“Jonathan, please.” you start to whine and pray he’s joking. “It’s not even that long, it’s like it always is. Tell me this is a really bad joke.”

His face is so serious, you really can’t tell and you hate it. He’s so good at hiding his emotions sometimes, it infuriates you. He slowly starts to smile and cups your face to kiss your forehead.

“You’re so cute. I’m not  _cutting_ it, more of a trim.” he laughs. “Remember how it looked when we met…I had  _just_ gotten it trimmed.”

You exhale, laughing, “Please, don’t ever come home bald.”

“I won’t.” he laughs, leaning down to kiss you.

“And don’t  _ever_  shave your beard.” You place your hand on his face, rubbing your fingers against his beard. The two of you stare at each other for a moment and you tap your inner thigh as you raise an eyebrow.

“I won’t.” he looks down, smirking. “You only like me for my beard and my hair, I knew it.”

“You caught me!” you laugh and shake your head, “Maybe your heart too.”

You can see John’s knees almost buckling, and he pulls you and Harper into his arms. He leans back and smiles, “Kiss?”

You stand on your tiptoes, pecking John endlessly and Harper giggles. “Oh, I think she wants one too.”

“Can I have a kiss?” he asks and leans down as Harper leans forward to kiss him. “Okay, that was cute.”

“It was.” you say and Harper looks at you. You pucker your lips and she instantly leans over to kiss you.

“Oh, my god.” John puts his hands over his face and tilts his head back. “That was so cute.”

“You are honestly the funniest man I know.” you say and grab John by the collar of his jacket to kiss him again.

“I really gotta go this time.” John says and caresses your cheek. He whistles for Bleu and moments later, you hear him running to the front door. “Gonna surprise Benji.”

“You take him in the car when you go driving?” you look at him in shock. “John, the poor thing will get sick.”

“He has his little seat belt. He’s fine, he likes it.” he laughs.

“I find that hard to believe, but okay.”

Watching John leave, you sigh and head back to the kitchen. It’s lonely without John and Bleu, but when Harper wiggles in your arms, you feel excited that you’ll be able to spend time with her. Hopefully she’ll end up liking you as much as she likes John.

“Hi, sweetie.” you tickle her tummy and she laughs.

John has already set up Harper’s high chair, and you place her in it with a handful of Cheerios. You perk up when you hear your phone ringing and reach against the table to grab it.

_Tess._

“Hello?” you say, with a smile on your face.

“Are you busy?” she asks, and you can hear Jimmy singing loudly in the background. Some 80s song, of course.

Looking over at Harper in her high chair, you shrug. “Uh, we actually have the kids –- Aurelio’s kids, but no, we’re not busy. I’m home alone right now actually. Wick is gone running some errands, then he’s getting Benji from school. Why?”

Tess squeals and laughs, “Okay, well Jimmy and I are coming over in like an hour or so.”

__

You’re sitting in the kitchen with Harper when you hear the door open, and you quickly get up to peek around the corner to see Jimmy and Tess. They’re smiling and kissing each other relentlessly, his hand is on her stomach and when she looks down, he presses a kiss to her temple. You smile to yourself and walk back over to Harper to give them their privacy.

“Well, this is a nice sight.” Tess says when she sees you sitting in the chair in front of Harper.

“Oh,” you laugh and turn around to hug Tess and Jimmy. “Hey.”

Tess waves at Harper and leans down in front of her. “Who are you?”

Jimmy immediately walks over, leaning close to Harper. “Hi, you’re cute. I’ve met your big brother, but I haven’t met you yet.”

Harper looks back and forth between Jimmy and Tess, then bangs her hands on her tray as she squeals loudly. She kicks her legs fast in her chair and reaches out to grab Tess’ hair, tugging on it hard, but Tess doesn’t seem to mind.

“This is Harper, she is eight months -– wait, she’s nine months now. A  _very_  happy baby, as you can see. She’s kind of in love with John, a little uninterested in me when he’s around. And to be honest, the feeling is mutual. He is  _enamored_.”

“John…with a baby…I need to see that.” Jimmy laughs, and Tess hits his shoulder. “Ouch! What? I just meant that it would be funny to see because he’s… _John_.”

“He’s really sweet with her. She, uh…called him ‘dada’ earlier.” You look back down at Harper and smile. “Didn’t you?”

She smacks her hands on the highchair and laughs, shrieking and saying it over and over again.

“How did John react?” Tess asks and puts her hand over her heart.

You look at Jimmy then back to Tess, “He teared up, the cutest thing I’ve ever seen. Then he felt bad and was worried she hadn’t said it to Aurelio yet, which she obviously has.”

Jimmy leans against the counter and nods, “I won’t lie, I’ll sob when it happens.”

“Oh, we know.” Tess laughs and points at Harper, “Can I hold her?”

“Yeah, go ahead!”

You watch Tess take her out of her high chair, and she sits down at the table with Harper in her lap, “She’s beautiful. God, not to force it on you, but if you and John had kids…they would be beautiful.”

If you had a child with John and they looked exactly like him, you’d be happy. John looks like he was sculpted from marble. His arms are toned, but so soft to the touch. He’s tall and lean, his eyes are the perfect shape and the most delicious shade of brown. His lips are full and pink, and his nose is perfect. Every time you try to describe John, only one word comes to mind: beautiful.

Jimmy sits down across from Tess, lightly tapping a pencil on the table and starts to laugh.

“Why are you laughing?” Tess asks.

He holds up the pencil and starts laughing harder. You look over at Tess and shrug. “Is there like…some inside joke I’m missing?”

“You don’t know?” Jimmy asks with a smile on his face.

“James, oh my god. Obviously we don’t.” Tess snaps.

He holds up the pencil again, “There’s a story about John.”

Tess scoots to the edge of her seat, “I love these stories. John is a  _very_  interesting man.”

“You two just talk about him when you’re bored?” you ask, laughing.

“Pretty much.” Tess shrugs.

“There’s a story about John that everyone knows -– well  _almost_  everyone.” he gestures to Tess and you. “Years ago, back before Helen, before everything, there aren’t many details, but he killed three men in a bar.”

“Yeah, he’s…killed a lot of people.” you laugh nervously.

“No, he did it…” he holds up the pencil and rolls it in his fingers. “With a pencil.”

Tess covers Harper’s ears, “Holy shit, with a fucking  _pencil_?”

Jimmy starts to laugh and nods, “Yeah, he’s like…a  _legend_. I’m sure you know about his Baba Yaga persona, but you’ve never seen it and I hope you never do, to be honest. He’s scary as…” he looks at Harper and reaches across the table to cover her ears, “He’s scary as fuck.”

“I don’t know, I’d like to see it. Might be kinda hot.” Tess says, shrugging. “It’s weird when I’m around John, I completely forget that he like…kills people. He’s just so soft, and he’s so sweet.”

“Yeah, with her.” Jimmy laughs.

“Hey! He’s nice to me too.” Tess pouts, and Jimmy lets out a loud laugh.

Pulling out the stool, you sit down and stare at the floor in shock. “With a  _pencil_? How do you even…”

Jimmy starts to laugh and reaches out to touch your knee. “Are you okay?”

Bleu’s feet on the kitchen floor alert that John is home and you exhale, trying to process the pencil story. You quickly walk out to the living room and see John carrying Benji on his back. Leaning against the wall, you watch the two with a smile on your face. John sees you and flexes his arms hard as he sets Benji down. Rolling your eyes, you walk over to him as Benji runs past you into the kitchen.

“Hi, Y/N.” Benji says, skipping past you into the kitchen.

“Hey, buddy.” you say, and you feel John’s hands on your waist.

“I missed you.”

“You were gone for like two hours.” you laugh.

“You didn’t miss me?” he frowns.

“Of course I did.”

Quickly looking over your shoulder, you check to make sure no one is watching as you scoot closer to John. You run your fingers through his hair and bite your lip. You can tell he got a haircut, but it’s not much different. John’s fingers press into your waist as he pulls you closer to kiss you, tongues sliding against one another.

“Mmm,” he hums and tilts his head back with his eyes closed, “I missed your lips.”

“Oh, stop it.” you push him back a little, but he grabs your hand and pulls you into his arms. John leans back down to kiss you again and smiles against your lips when you wiggle away from him.

“Keep kissing me.” he pouts, and you shake your head.

“You’re pathetically cute.” you laugh as you lean back up to kiss John. “Jimmy and Tess are here.”

“Yeah, I saw her car out front. I figured it was just Tess.” he says as you walk backwards with him into the kitchen, still pressing kisses to each other’s lips.

Tess has started putting peanut butter on celery and when she glances up, you give her a thumbs up and whisper. “Good job, mom.”

“He just wanted a snack, is that okay?” Tess asks and stops spreading the peanut butter. “I don’t want to spoil his dinner.“

“Yes, of course.” you bump her shoulder, and John steals a piece of celery from the plate.

“Oh, I see John likes celery.” Tess laughs.

“He’s so good at eating his fruits and veggies. Me, not so much.” you say and lean against the counter next to Tess. “He practically begged me to eat cauliflower the other day and I refused.”

“She put up a good fight?” Tess asks and looks up at John.

“She did, and in the end, she won. I promised I wouldn’t make her eat any vegetables she didn’t want to.”

You look over at Tess and shrug, “He’s weird.”

Tess watches as John and Jimmy begin talking, and she leans close to your face to whisper. “He’s trying to keep you healthy, keep you around for awhile.”

“Oh, god.” you roll your eyes and stand up straight.

John walks over to Harper, taking her out of the high chair and presses a soft kiss to the top of her head. You love how comfortable he’s gotten in this new role, even if it’s only temporary. Tess sets Benji’s plate on the table and moves over to look at Harper.

“I’m sure you’ve met Harper already.” John says, handing her off to Tess. “She likes when you bounce her a little bit.”

“Oh, she told you that?” Tess laughs.

“No…I mean, wait…” John looks at you, frowning.

“John, she likes it. Be nice to him, Tess. He’s new at this.”

“I’m kidding.” she laughs and squeezes John’s arm. Harper reaches out for John again, and he gives Tess a wicked grin as he takes Harper from her arms. “Okay, so she obviously likes you.”

“Told you.” you say and walk over to John. He wraps his arm around your waist to pull you closer and from the corner of your eye, you see Tess smiling. “What?”

“No, nothing.” she says and shrugs, trying not to cry, “You just…look like a family. I’m sorry, I’m so emotional today.”

“Yeah,” you smile and look up at John, “Babe, you can put her down. She’s probably in need a nap now anyway.”

John leaves the room with Benji trailing right behind him, and you love how packed the house is with your friends and kids. It’s full of love –- just like John once described it.

“They love him.” Jimmy laughs.

You exhale and start cleaning up Benji’s plate. “They do.”

“You want kids?” Jimmy asks.

“I’m fine either way.”

“She’s lying. I know that seeing John with a baby is killing her, and her ovaries are probably screaming right now.” Tess says then laughs.

You all start to laugh, and you turn back around to face them, “Yeah, it’s killing me. He’s just so cute with them.”

John walks back into the kitchen with Benji still on his heels, and he leans against the counter next you, “She went out as soon as I laid her down.”

“Uncle John, is she your wife?” Benji asks, staring blankly at John.

“Uh…” John looks up at you, then back to Benji, and you all start to laugh when you see how uncomfortable John is. John looks at you and shrugs. “What do I say?”

“Nope, I’m just his friend.” you say to Benji, and he stares at you for a minute.

“But you live here?”

“I do.” you nod, and John wraps his arm around your shoulder, “I’m uncle John’s special friend.”

“God, don’t say ‘special friend’, you dork.” Tess laughs and looks down at Benji. “She’s uncle John’s girlfriend. Do you know what a girlfriend is?”

“A girl you think is pretty and funny…and you like her.” he says, and you smile at how innocent he is.

“Yup, and uncle John thinks she’s very pretty and very funny.” Tess smiles and leans closer to Benji, “I’ll let you in on a secret: uncle John likes her  _a lot_.”

John’s grip on you tightens and you look up at him. The two of you stare at each other as Benji starts talking to Jimmy and Tess, and he pulls you closer to his chest to hug you, “I do like you a lot.”

“I like you  _and_  I love you. That’s a pretty good thing.” you laugh and John leans down to kiss you.

Benji tugs at the bottom of Jimmy’s jacket and looks up at him, “Have you caught any bad guys?”

“Uh, haven’t caught any bad guys today.” Jimmy says and looks up at John, “You know who also catches bad guys?”

“Who?” Benji asks and Jimmy points to John. “Uncle John?”

“Uncle John.” Jimmy nods. “He catches the  _really_  bad guys.”

“The bad guys who are mean to people?” he asks and looks over at John.

“Yup.” John nods.

“Whoa!” Benji laughs and starts talking to Jimmy again.

John looks over at you and shrugs, “This is a little weird.”

“It’s not weird, baby. He thinks you’re cool.” you say and pat his chest, reassuring him. “He’s six, he has no idea.”

“Can I go watch cartoons now?” Benji stands in front of you and asks.

“Of course, go ahead.” you say and wave him off.

“Kids. So clueless.” Tess laughs.

John gestures to the table and you all move to sit down. Instinctively, you scoot closer to John, holding his hand under the table. His hand is so big compared to yours and so warm. He squeezes it tight and you smile at him. You already know what Tess is here to announce, but you don’t say anything.

“I can’t do it, Tess.” Jimmy starts to laugh. “I can’t hold it in any longer.”

“I’m eight weeks pregnant!” Tess laughs and sticks out her stomach. “We’re having a baby!”

“Congratulations!” John quickly stands up to hug both Tess and Jimmy, and your heart melts a little every time he shows them affection. You watch him as he hugs Jimmy and Jimmy’s face is red, tears brimming his eyes.

You get up and hug Jimmy, then move to Tess. Tears are filling your eyes and when you look at Tess, she’s already sobbing.

“You’re going to be a mommy. I can’t believe this.” you put your hand on her stomach and rub it. “There’s a human in there, like…just growing. Wait, you’re  _eight weeks_  pregnant – two months pregnant – and you didn’t know?”

“Yeah,” she laughs and nods her head, “It was mostly because I kinda  _knew_ , but I was too nervous to take a test.”

“Well, I’m nervous.” Jimmy admits and John squeezes his shoulder.

“You’ll be a great dad, Jimmy.” John says and turns to Tess. He reaches out slowly to touch her stomach and pulls his hand back. “I’m sorry, that was rude. May I? I’ve just never…”

“Felt a baby bump?” she laughs.

“Yeah.” he says quietly and looks over at you. You give him a small smile and watch as he places his hand on her stomach.

“I’m not really showing yet…well, I am a little bit, but it’s not very noticeable to anyone but me.” she laughs and watches John as he rubs her belly.

John’s hand engulfs Tess’ stomach, and a smile spreads across his face. He looks up at you, smiling and you catch a tear forming in his eye. “That’s amazing.”

“Are you kidding me with this guy? He’s so fucking cute.” Tess laughs and looks at you.

“The little one is as big as a raspberry right now.” Jimmy says, and high fives Tess then leans down to talk to her belly, “Growing away in there, aren’t you?”

“We haven’t even told Jimmy’s parents yet, we wanted you both to be the first to know.” Tess gestures for you to sit back down and she reaches out for your hand, “We love you both  _so_  much. You’re our best friends -– our family.”

“Uh oh.” you say and feel yourself tearing up again.

“But you-–” she points to you and you freeze, “No one will  _ever_  know me like you do, no one will understand me like you do. No one will ever come between us and no one -– not even this one,” she points at John and laughs, “He will never love you as much as I do.”

You feel John’s hand on your back, and you look over to see him smiling at you. You know he’d love to debate with Tess over who loves you more, but he doesn’t say anything. You look back at Tess as she wipes away tears.

“You’ve always been there for me, and I’ve always been there for you. Your mom took me in when I was young, and you never held any resentment when her and I would bond over something, or just spend the day together alone. We’ve been friends for  _years_  and literally have never fought. You are my  _sister_.”

“Tess.” you say, wiping away a tear and you feel John’s hand on yours.

“And John,” she wipes away another tear and starts to laugh, “You have made her so incredibly happy, I’ve literally  _never_  seen her like this before. I think you two are the perfect match and as corny as it sounds, I don’t know two people who are more suited for each other. She loves you so much.”

“I love her.” he says, nodding.

“I know you do.” she nods and reaches out to pat John’s cheek. She sits back and exhales, looking over at Jimmy, “So…with that being said, would you want to be our baby’s godparents? We know that if anything happened to us, you would be the perfect fit for our baby. There is  _so_  much love between you two and in this house. That’s exactly what we would want for our child, and you could afford to take it on, and we know you would love our child like it was your own.”

“Are you kidding? Of course!” you say, not even taking a moment to think about it. John, on the other hand, is looking down at the table. “Baby, are you okay?”

“I’m in shock.” he laughs and shakes his head, “You want _me_ …to be the godfather of your _child_?”

“Yes.” Tess says, staring at him.

“Are you sure?”

“Positive.” she sits back, and Jimmy’s hand instantly finds its way to her stomach.

“We trust the two of you, we know you would take care of our child if something ever happened to us. There’s no doubt in our minds that you would be good parents. John, you’re my best friend, and I trust you.” Jimmy says with his hand still on Tess’ stomach.

“Aw!” you and Tess both say in unison, and you wipe away another tear.

“Well, what do you say, Wick?” you ask, excitedly.

He reaches for your hand under the table and you squeeze it hard –- or what you consider to be hard. He looks back at Jimmy and Tess, slowly nodding. “Yeah, I’d love to be the godfather of your baby.”

You shake your head and laugh, “I can’t believe you’re going to be a mom. It feels like just yesterday we were planning our weddings, and what we were gonna name our kids in that stupid little book of ours.”

“I still have that book, by the way. We have some interesting names in there, saw a few I liked though. It’s so weird…everything is happening so fast, but I  _know_  this pregnancy is going to last forever.” she looks down at her belly and starts talking to it, “Hurry up in there so we can meet you!”

Jimmy taps on the table and looks at Tess. “Well, should we go to my parents?”

She nods her head and laughs, “Let’s go tell mom and dad.”

“Speaking of mom…” you say as you get up from the table.

“I’m telling her at the wedding. I want to tell her in person. I hate to put it off for so long, but…”

You nod and wrap your arm around Tess’ shoulder as you walk to the door, “I get it. Your parents would be really happy for you.”

Tess stops at the door and turns around with tears in her eyes, “Yeah, I’d like to think my dad would love James.”

“Okay, first of all, dying over ‘James’, and he  _definitely_  would.” you say and look over at John talking away with Jimmy. “You’re gonna be his wife soon.”

“Mrs. Hendricks.” she nods, pointing at herself.

“Oh…my god.” you look at Tess as you laugh. “ _Oh, my god!_ ”

John looks over at you, furrowing his brow, “Baby…are you okay?”

“Oh, my god…you’re literally Jimmy Hendricks.” you say, bending over at the waist as you laugh. “How did I never put that together?”

“Well, spelled differently and technically, I’m James Hendricks.” Jimmy does an aggressive air guitar and laughs, “I play the guitar too.”

“No, you don’t.” you look up at him and widen your eyes, “Shut up.”

“He does.” Tess says and wraps her arms around him, “He’s really good too. I mean not as good as Jimi Hendrix, but who is?”

“Jimmy Hendricks.” you whisper quietly to yourself. “Tess Hendricks sounds good.”

“It really does, doesn’t it?” she says, looking at Jimmy and leaning in to kiss him.

“I can’t wait to see what your name this little goob.” you say and put your hand on her belly. “I can’t wait to be with you every step of the way. Anytime you need us to babysit,” you nod to John and point to yourself, “Call us.”

“I haven’t even had the baby yet.” she laughs.

“Well, if you need someone to help pick out baby shit, I’m your gal. Or maybe you can ask John since he went there today, lied and told the people at the shop that he had a wife and daughter.”

“What?” Jimmy laughs and looks at John.

“I just went there to buy a few things and I didn’t want to look weird.” John looks over at you and shakes his head. “I just said that my daughter and wife were at home.”

“Your wife?” Tess smirks and nudges John.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah.” John rolls his eyes and turns away as he laughs, looking over his shoulder and waving. “See ya later.”

“You gotta marry her, John! She’d make a really good Mrs. Wick!” Jimmy yells as you slowly close the door, and you can’t help but laugh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I also posted this on tumblr, so feel free to like/reblog/comment on it [here!](https://johnsbleu.tumblr.com/post/182020213009/hold-my-hand-john-wick-reader-chapter-39)


	40. Chapter 40

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **warnings:** angst? idk djfkls

The story of John killing three men in a bar is still on your mind, and you try to figure out a way to bring it up to John without upsetting him, or making him mad at Jimmy for telling you in the first place. You’re certainly not scared of John, and the story is quite amazing and only turns you on even more when you realize how skilled John is.

_With a pencil._

You walk back into the kitchen and finish putting away the dishes with the help of John, and he sits down on the stool across the kitchen from you. From the corner of your eye, you can see him watching you, and you look over your shoulder to stick your tongue out at him playfully.

“Come here.” he says, reaching out for your hands.

“So…” you say and walk over to stand next to John, and he wraps his arm around waist and pulls you closer. “How was your airport drive?”

“It was good.” he says, then kisses you.

“Your hair looks nice, did you get your beard trimmed too?” you say and rub the back of your hand against his beard.

“Yeah, I usually do it myself, but I don’t think I’ll have time for the next few days.” he laughs and grabs your face to rub his beard against your cheek. “Still feel good?”

“Yes!” you laugh and squirm away from John, but his grip only tightens on you and he wraps both arms around you. You both start to laugh, and John peppers your face with kisses.

“You better be quiet, Benji is going to wonder why my  _friend_  is screaming of laughter in the kitchen.”

“No, remember Tess told him I’m your girlfriend. ” you correct him, and he laughs.

“Oh yeah, that’s right.” he says, kissing your cheek. “So, what did you do while I was gone?”

“Well, Harper and I danced around a bit. I gave her some cheerios, changed her diaper, then we watched some cartoons and then, I gave her _more_  cheerios.” you laugh and rest your head on John’s shoulder.

“How long were Jimmy and Tess here before I got home?” he asks, rubbing your back.

“Not long, like 15 minutes maybe.”

“Oh, good. I know they must have been waiting to tell us the news, and I know it was probably killing Jimmy to keep it a secret for so long.” he laughs and lightly pats your ass, then slides his hand into your back pocket, “Jimmy and Tess as parents, that’s going to be interesting.”

“You know what’s even more interesting?” you say and back away from John.

“What?”

“The story Jimmy just told me about you before you got home.” you smile and lean on the counter.

“What story?” he asks, and you reach out for the baby monitor to see Harper is already awake.

“Oh, I’m sure you’d  _love_  to know what story.” you tease and turn around to get Harper. She’s awake and wiggling around in her crib, and as soon as she sees you, she reaches out. “You didn’t sleep for very long.”

John leans against the door frame, staring at you, and you know he’s trying to get a read on your face. He’s unbelievably good at reading you which makes you mad because he’s so damn hard to read. You turn around and raise an eyebrow as a smile tugs at your lips.

“Should we give her a bath?” you ask, bouncing Harper in your arms to keep her from crying.

John nods and quickly heads to the bathroom to fill the tub. He turns around and looks at you, trying to carry both Harper and a stack of towels, and you can see him trying his hardest to not laugh.

“Oh, I bought her some new toys and one is a bath toy.” he says and leaves to get them. When he comes back in, he kneels next to the tub on the floor with you with a battery operated duck that swims in the water. The three of you watch as the duck swims through the water, and Harper squeals in your lap as she bounces up and down.

“She can sit up, but she’s still a little wobbly…” you say as you start to place her in the tub. Before her feet even touch the water, John is grabbing her from you. “Oh, my god, what?”

“Is it too hot?“

“No, I tested it already.” you say, laughing.

“How do you test it?” he asks, genuinely curious.

“You use your elbow.” you say, and you laugh when he looks at you, still amazed. “I looked it up online. I don’t just  _know_ this stuff, John.”

“I wouldn’t be surprised if you did.” he places her in the tub and she immediately kicks water, splashing it into his face. “Can you…”

“All better.” you say wiping off John’s face. You lean over and smile at him as you kiss his cheek. A small smile spreads across John’s face, but he doesn’t look at you.

“What do I do?”

“Just wash her off, use a wash cloth and wipe under her arms, her belly, and around her neck. I’m gonna go check on Benji.” you say and quickly leave the bathroom. Benji is sitting on the couch, looking rather sad and bored. You plop down next to him and nudge his shoulder. “We’re going to go out to eat for dinner…your choice.”

He perks up and looks at you, “Anywhere?”

“Anywhere in the world.” you nod.

“McDonald’s!” he jumps around excitedly and runs to the bathroom to tell John. “Uncle John! We’re going to McDonald’s for dinner!”

John peeks around Benji, making eye contact and you shrug. You walk back into the bathroom and put your hands on Benji’s shoulders. “What do you say, uncle John? How about a fancy dinner at McDonald’s?”

“I think it’s a good idea.” he says, lifting Harper out of the tub and wrapping her in a towel.

You lean down and tell Benji to get his shoes and jacket on. Looking back at John, he’s staring at you and you laugh, “What?”

“Nothing.” he shrugs.

You take Harper from his arms and laugh again, “You still want to know the story Jimmy told me?”

“Yes.” he says, worry in his voice.

“Hmm, maybe I’ll tell you later.” you laugh and leave to change Harper.

__

Harper had fallen asleep on the way home, and John was tempted to stay in the car with her all night just so he didn’t wake her. You watch John as he places Benji in the bed and he carefully removes his shoes and jacket. You bounce Harper in your arms a few times, then finally place her in her bed. The two of you stand in the door way for a moment, watching them.

“Thank you for the fancy date to McDonald’s. You really wooed me tonight.” you laugh and lean against John’s shoulder.

John lets out a stiff laugh and nods, “You’re welcome.”

“Can’t believe a car seat fit in the backseat. That’s good to know…for the future.” you say and look up at John, hoping he’ll play again, but he doesn’t.

“I think I’m gonna take Bleu for a walk.” John says, pressing his lips to the top of your head.

You turn around as John walks past and frown, “It’s kinda late. I thought I could run to the store and get some snacks for us, then we could snuggle up and watch a movie.”

“I’m just going to take him for a short walk.” he say as he starts walking to the door where Bleu is already waiting for John. “I’ll be back soon. I won’t be long, then we can watch a movie.”

“Okay…” you frown a little and feel cold as you’re left alone in the doorway. Sulking your way back to the living room, you plop down on the couch, flipping through the TV as you wait for him to come back home.

__

It’s been almost an hour and a half since John has left, and you’re curled up in a ball when he opens the door. You glance up at him as he takes his jacket off and wait for him to say something to you, but he doesn’t. He grabs the door handle for the basement and you sit up straight.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m just going downstairs for a bit.” he says, then quickly heads down the steps with no explanation.

_What the fuck?_

You sit there in silence for a minute, wondering what the hell his problem is and rack your brain trying to figure out if you did something wrong. You check on the kids and see them both fast asleep. Taking a deep breath, you open the door and head down the stairs.

“What the fuck, John?”

“What?” he says as he turns around with a pistol in his hand and you freeze. He sees your face and places it back down, “I’m just cleaning them. You should go back upstairs.”

“Did you get a call for a job or something?”

“No.” he says, staring blankly at you.

“Are you mad at me? You’re being weird and quiet. You’ve barely talked to me all night, and you practically ignored me while we were out to eat.” you stare at him for a moment and sigh, your voice almost child-like when you speak, “Did I do something wrong?”

“No.” he replies, and you feel a punch to your gut when he’s so short with you again.

You sit down on the steps, letting him know you’re not moving until he talks to you. “So, what’s your problem then?”

“I don’t have a problem.” he turns his back to you and sighs. “You should go to bed, I’m sure you’re tired.”

“I’m not tired. I’m wondering why you’re mad at me.” you say, voice breaking as you begin to tear up.

You see John start to turn around when he hears the sadness in your voice, but he stops himself and focuses on his guns. “I’m not mad at you. I’ll be up in a little bit.”

“Fine. Fuck this, I’m done with you anyway.” you stand up and start back up the stairs. “This is so fucking stupid. I didn’t do anything, but you’re obviously mad at me and talking to you sometimes is like talking to a fucking brick wall.”

You were harsh and you know it probably took John by surprise how uncharacteristic it was of you, but you’re mad at him. It’s hard for John to talk to you sometimes, you know that, but if he expects it from you, then you expect it from him. It goes both ways.

You stop at the top of the steps for a moment and turn around to see John standing at the bottom. “Do you want to fucking talk to me or not, Jonathan?”

He nods, and you make your way back the stairs, huffing loudly to let him know you’re annoyed. You’re not even at the bottom yet and he reaches out to pull you into a hug. He moves the hair off your shoulder and presses his lips to your neck.

“What is going on?” you ask as you try to pull away from him, but his grip is too tight. “You’re confusing the shit out of me.”

“Sorry.”

“You _can’t_ do this, John. You can’t shut me out like this when you’re upset. I have  _no_  idea what’s going on, you just ignored me all night. You didn’t kiss or hug me all night, you didn’t even hold my hand in the car,  _what did I do_?” you begin to cry and John pulls back to look at you, “You always expect me to share my feelings and thoughts with you, why can’t you do that with me?”

“I’m sorry.” he says again and cups your face, “You’re right.”

“So, what did I do?” you ask, tears still spilling from your eyes and he uses his thumbs to wipe them away. “Tell me so I can fix it.”

John shakes his head and pulls you close to kiss you, “Nothing, you didn’t do anything wrong. I promise, this isn’t you. It’s me.”

“Is this about the Jimmy thing?” you ask and wipe away the tears on your face.

He stares at you for a moment, then nods, “Yeah.”

“Baby, you’re kidding me…it’s nothing,  _seriously_. Had I known it was going to cause this whole big scene, I would have just told you.” you push him back to sit on the stool and lean against him. You sniffle and John wipes away the tears on your face.

“I’m sorry. Please don’t cry.” he says as his eyes dart over your face. You can see how much it hurts him to see you so upset and he pulls you into a hug. “I love you.”

After a few moments of silence, you’ve finally stopped crying, and you lean back to look at John. You cup his face in your hands and kiss him a few times as he tightens his arms around your waist.

“Jimmy just told me a story about you, and it’s not really something I can just say in front of the kids. And to be honest, I wanted to wait until later to bring it up so you could tell me all about it.”

“What story?” John asks.

You chuckle to yourself and reach for the pencil on his desk. You tap it on his nose and he starts to smile.

“Just a little story about you, three guys in a bar, and a pencil -– which sounds like the beginning of a  _really_  bad joke.” you start to laugh and look at the pencil. “How do you even kill someone with a pencil?”

He chuckles and takes the pencil from you, throwing it back on the desk. “It’s easy, you just gotta know where to stab.”

You jerk your head back and start to laugh with how open he’s being about his job. “Oh…and you know where, right?”

“Yeah.” he leans close to your face and kisses you. “Are you upset with me?”

“Because of that story?” you laugh loudly and shake your head, “No, it’s hot as fuck. I was just confused because we were fine all day, and then we were out, you just stopped talking to me. I thought I did something wrong.”

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry I was acting like that. I was just…” he looks away, shaking his head as he lets go of you.

“Worried it was a bad story and how I’d react…” you grab his arms and wrap them back around your waist, and your hands slide up his biceps and under the sleeves of his shirt. “John, I’ve known about your job for months. Don’t you think I would have left you by now if I didn’t agree with it?”

He looks over your shoulder at his pistol and sighs, “Yeah, I still worry though. It’s not some nine-to-five job that you can just tell everyone about. I kill people.”

“John,” you sigh and squeeze his biceps in your hands. “ _You’re a good man._ ”

“I know, I just still get worried you’re gonna realize I’m a bad man and leave me.” he says and leans his head against your chest.

“Well, I just said that you’re a good man, so how can I realize you’re a bad man then? I can’t. It’s impossible. Wait, let me try.” you squint your eyes and scrunch your face up as John laughs. “See, I just tried and it’s still  _impossible_. You think I’m so great for some reason and if you think I’m so great, why would I want to be with a bad man?”

John starts to laugh and nods, “You have a point.”

“You’re literally the best man I’ve ever known, you’ve changed my life  _so_  much and you have no idea.” you smile, then lean forward to kiss John. “But listen, if it makes you feel any better, I’m not an assassin and I still worry you’re gonna leave me.”

“That doesn’t make me feel any better.” he laughs and slowly kisses you, cupping your face in his hand. “I will never leave you, peach. You’re everything to me.”

“Stop it,” you laugh and push John a little, “You’re gonna make me melt into the floor.”

John hides his face in the crook of your neck and laughs, “I love you.”

“I love you too, but hey, since you’re being a little…open about your job…” you push him back and raise an eyebrow at him, “Can you maybe…tell me a story? Just about one of your jobs.”

John laughs nervously and shrugs, “Yeah, but are you sure?”

“Yes.” you cup his face in your hands and smile, “I’m not going to leave you.”

“What do you want to know about?”

“Um,” you think hard and shrug, “I don’t know. Tell me about stuff that happened around the time you got Bleu, I  _know_  a lot happened back then…if you’re comfortable.”

“It’s you that I’m worried about.” he says and reaches out to touch your cheek.

You look around the basement and grab the other stool in the corner of the room. You pull it next to John and sit down, leaning against his workbench and propping your head on your hand. “I’m ready.”

“Well,” John laughs nervously again and looks away from you.

“Baby, it’s okay. If you don’t want to tell me, I understand.” you reach out for his hand, and he pulls your chair closer to him.

John takes a deep breath and gives you a weak smile, “Someone who I had previously worked with – the person who helped me get out – he, uh, came back to ask for my help with something.”

“Oh, no…” you gasp like a child listening to their parent tell them a story. “Then what happened? What did he ask?”

John laughs at how interested you are, and he leans forward to kiss you, “He asked me to kill…his sister.”

“His sister? What the fuck? That’s so mean.”

“Yeah,” he nods and rubs his hand over his beard, “I did it though. Kind of.”

“Kind of?” you furrow your brow.

“Yeah, she went out…her way, and then I…”

“Oh, I got it.” you nod. “You probably had no choice though. It’s not like you could have just said no, I’m sure he probably would have tried to kill you or something.”

“Yeah, he had a marker.” he says and you tilt your head, confused. “It’s like…an oath, and you can’t break it.”

“Interesting.”

“After I did it, then he…” John looks away from you, still holding a tight grip on your hand.

“Then he wanted to avenge her death, right? Probably sent everyone after you…”

“You catch on quick.” he smiles.

“So, did you kill him?” you ask, even though you already know the answer is yes.

“I did.” he nods and watches your face for your reaction. “I did it in the hotel.”

“Isn’t that like breaking the big, huge, rule? Isn’t that like… _the one rule_?” you say, gesturing wildly.

“One of them.” he nods. “There’s two rules: you have to honor every marker, and no business can be conducted on Continental grounds.”

“And you broke both?”

“No, only one.” he lets out a small chuckle.

“But you killed him and he had the marker?”

“I fulfilled the marker,” John says, taking a long dramatic pause, “ _Then_  I killed him.”

“Oh, yeah.” you laugh and cover your mouth. “Sorry, just how you said that was funny. So, what happened after that?”

“I met up with Winston, and he told me that he had no choice. He gave me an hour, and then I was excommunicated.”

“Meaning?”

“Meaning all resources that The Continental provide were cut off from me. I couldn’t get help from anyone. So, I was just running for my life with Bleu. And everything after that is just…too hard to explain, but I promise I will someday.” he says, and you frown as your eyes fill with tears. “Stop. See, this is why I didn’t want to tell you, I didn’t want to upset you.”

You wipe away a tear and reach out to cup John’s face, “I’m so sorry that you had to deal with all of that. I would have helped you, if I knew you back then that is.”

“That’s very sweet of you, but you probably would have been hurt if you helped me, and I definitely wouldn’t have wanted that.”

“Oh…” you laugh a little and John smiles. “Well, I still would have risked it.”

“You’re so cute.” he says, nudging your chin.

“It still sucks that you went through all of that.”

“It’s okay.” he whispers as he pulls you into a hug, “All that shit I went through led me to you.”

“God, you’re so gross.” you laugh, pushing John away as you stand up.

“You’re just as bad as me sometimes. Hey, I’m going to put this stuff away, then we should watch a movie.”

“No, I’ll stay down here until you finish doing whatever the hell you do with…that stuff.” you gesture to his guns and see the safe open, and you shiver when you see more guns, but something else catches your eye.

From the corner of your eye, you can see John watching you as you walk closer to it. “I know, it’s probably scary. None of them are loaded, they’re not even assembled.”

“No…it’s not that.” you reach out and turn to John for his approval, he nods and you grab something from the shelf. “Is this…?”

_His wedding ring._

“Yeah.” he sighs.

Turning back to John, you see him watching you, trying his hardest to read your face again. You swallow hard and walk over to him as you look at it in your hand. You grab his left hand and hold it up, “Can I?”

“Yeah.” he nods and you slide the ring onto his finger, butterflies filling your stomach.

John flexes his hand a few times, getting used to the ring on his finger again, and when you smile, you feel a warm tear sliding down your cheek and you quickly wipe it away.

Holding his hand in both your hands, you press a kiss to it, “It looks good on you. I don’t know, but it just…suits you. Marriage suits you.”

He laughs and cups your face, “Thank you.”

“Does it feel weird to wear it again?” you ask as John spins the ring on his finger and looks up at you.

“A little. I wore it for quite awhile after…”

You slowly nod and look up at John, “When did you finally take it off?”

“Well, Jimmy kept wanting to set me up on dates, and he said I couldn’t go out wearing a wedding ring. So, he finally convinced me to take it off when I went out on a few dates.”

“So, just recently?” you ask.

“Not  _recently_. I hadn’t been wearing it for awhile before I met you. It’s not like I took it off right before we met. I kept it next to my bed though, I looked at it every morning.” He takes the ring off and puts it on your finger, laughing when it slides down to your knuckle. “But I noticed that after I met you, I didn’t look at it anymore. The last time I looked at it was the day I put it in the safe.”

You take the ring off and smile to yourself as you look over it again and imagine John wearing a ring you’ve given him.

Walking back over to the safe, you see a picture frame tucked in the back and you pull it out. John and Helen. He’s kissing her cheek and she’s laughing, and the happiness is written all over their faces.

_They look so happy and in love._

You feel John’s hand on your waist as he wraps his arms around you, “That was our third anniversary. We went out to dinner, but for some reason our reservation got messed up, so our table was given away. We ended up eating hot dogs on a bench in the park.”

You smile and let out a small laugh, “Sounds like something from a movie. I bet you were pissed though.”

“Yeah, I was so upset. Helen, on the other hand, was perfectly fine with it. Just as long as we were together.” he laughs and kisses the top of your head. “I feel like that’s how you’d be too, you’d probably rather eat hot dogs in the park than go to a fancy restaurant anyway.”

John watches as you run your fingers over his face in the picture and you swallow hard, “You look so happy.”

“I was.” he says, whispering.

“She looks happy too.” you say, still staring at the picture. You move out of John’s grasp and put the picture away along with the ring. You tuck your hair behind your ear and turn around to face John.

“I’d like to think she was.” he says, softly.

_It’s your fault that you’re sad. You’re too nosy._

You can feel him staring at you, but you keep your eyes on the floor. You feel stupid seeing how happy John was, and you feel another punch to the gut. He’s happy with you, he’s told you that, but it’s hard to not compare yourself to Helen.

“Um,” you sniffle and shuffle in place, “I think…um…”

John can see your hands shaking as you reach up to rub your forehead, and he grabs your waist and pushes you to sit on the steps, “I think you need to sit down. Are you okay?”

Your hands start to shake harder and you feel like you’re going to throw up. “Yeah…I think I need to just…uh…”

“Do you need to lay down? I can take you upstairs.”

“No, it’s okay.” you stand up, and your legs start to wobble. “I’m just going to get something to drink, and then I’ll lay down.” He starts walking up the stairs with you and you turn around, stopping him. “It’s okay.”

“No, baby, I’m coming with you.”

“No, it’s okay.” you repeat and start up the stairs again. “Just…go back to what you were doing.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I also posted this on tumblr, so feel free to like/reblog/comment on it [here!](https://johnsbleu.tumblr.com/post/182442631424/hold-my-hand-john-wick-reader-chapter-40)


	41. Chapter 41

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warnings:** smut and fluff

You feel like you’re floating through space as you sit on the edge of your bed and stare at the floor. You swallow several times, hoping to get rid of the lump growing in your throat. You exhale loudly as you get off the bed to change into your pajamas.

“Fucking idiot.” you say, kicking yourself for the way you’re acting.

Noticing the picture of you and John on the dresser, you walk over and look at it. You had taken Bleu to John’s favorite lake, the sun was setting and he wouldn’t stop taking pictures of you. He just kept saying he needed as many pictures of you and him as possible. John is constantly trying to savor the moment, and you’re thankful for it because your house is filled with pictures of the two of you.

You start to smile from looking at the picture and a tear falls on your cheek as you recall the memories from that day. John’s feet on the steps get closer and closer, so you wipe the tears off your face and place the picture back down.

“Hey, I just checked on the kids and they’re both sound asleep.” he leans against the door frame and shoves his hands into his pockets.

“Oh, that’s…that’s good.” you say, turning your back and heading for the bathroom.

You don’t know what’s gotten into you, but you suddenly feel the need to cry. You’re fully aware of how dramatic you’re being, but this was the first time you’d ever seen Helen and you definitely weren’t expecting it. You certainly weren’t expecting to see how happy John looked – of course he was happy with her and he’s happy with you, but it doesn’t make it hurt any less.

You press your pajamas to your mouth hoping to quiet your sobs as you kneel in front of the toilet and begin to retch. The handle of the bathroom door starts to jiggle and John’s voice is deep on the other side calling out to you.

“Open the door, baby.”

You feel your stomach turn over again and you put your head back into the toilet, closing your eyes when you see your dinner in the bowl. Trying to fight it, you hold your stomach as you vomit one last time.

“Open the door  _now_!” John is banging on the door, not caring about the kids asleep downstairs and you know if you don’t open it, he’ll bust it down and wake them up.

Using the sleeve of your sweater, you wipe off your mouth and crawl to the door to unlock it. As soon as he hears the click of the lock, he pushes the door open and falls to the floor next you.

“Are you okay?” he grabs your face and looks you over. He looks into the toilet, seeing your dinner and he quickly flushes it. “Baby, are you okay?” he asks again and picks you up in his arms, carrying you to the bed.

He brushes your hair out of your face and presses the back of his hand to your forehead – checking for a fever. He peels off your sweater and watches you closely as he unhooks your bra, sliding it off your shoulders. John tries so hard not to look at your bare chest that you have to force a laugh down. He unbuttons your pants and tugs them off, folding them neatly and placing them on the floor. He quickly heads into the bathroom and emerges a few seconds later with a wet wash cloth.

He shuffles through your drawer and turns around holding two pajama choices, “Which ones, baby?” he asks and you point at his shirt in his left hand. “How about some shorts too?”

“Okay.” you say, quietly.

You take the shirt from John, pulling it over your head and feel his hands on your legs as he tries to put on your shorts. You crawl back under the blankets as John kneels next to you and presses a kiss to your hand.

“Seriously, are you okay?” he asks, still looking you over and placing a cold rag on your forehead.

This is the third time he’s asked and you feel like you need to finally give him an answer. You take the wash cloth off your forehead and hold it up to his cheek, giving him a weak smile.

“I’m not sick.”

“Will you tell me what’s wrong?” he looks at you carefully and rubs his thumb over your cheek.

“Can I be honest?”

“Of course.” he nods.

“I mean… _completely_  honest? And you won’t get mad at me?”

“I promise.” he says, giving you a reassuring smile.

You shrug and sigh, “It’s just…I’ve never seen a picture of the two of you. I mean, I know how stupid it sounds, but I just got sick looking at it. Not that I’m not happy that  _you_  were happy, but…it just kinda hurt a little.”

“Oh, I thought maybe it had something to do with that.”

“Yeah…” you shrug and play with the edge of the blanket. “Look at it from my point of view though. How would you feel if you saw a picture of me and my husband who was  _everything_ to me; a man who I left the only life I knew behind for? Wouldn’t you feel a little inferior? Ugh, never mind. You’d never even say anything to me, you’re too good of a man. Why are you such a good man?”

“Have I ever made you feel that way though? Inferior?” he asks, rubbing his hand over your thigh. “Be honest.”

“No, never.” you say and look up at John, “But I’m seeing the love of  _my_  life with the love of  _his_ life. And honestly, I am  _so_  happy that you found Helen, that you had her and that you were happy beyond belief, but I can’t deny that it hurts a little. Seeing you with someone else.”

“I get that,” he says, nodding his head. “But  _you_ arethe love of my life.”

You let out a small laugh and shake your head, “I knew you were going to say that.”

“I’m happy with you. Happier than I’ve ever felt, that’s not a lie.” he takes your hand in his and looks at you. “Don’t compare yourself to her.”

“I…” you start to talk but he cuts you off by kissing you hard on the lips despite the fact that you were just throwing up.

“I am  _so_  in love with you. I’m happy with you.”

“John…” you whisper.

“Things with you…” he looks down at your hands, then back at you, “Things with you are  _so_  different. Things with you are… _better_.”

“John, you don’t have to say that.” you sit up and rest your head on his shoulder when you start to get dizzy again.

“I’m not.” his voice is firm and you pull back to look at him. “I’m not just saying that, I mean it. She wanted me to be happy, she wanted me to find someone to spend the rest of my life with.”

“She did?”

He nods and sighs as he gets up from the bed. He pulls a card out of his back pocket and hands it to you, “Read this.”

Carefully, you take the card from John and notice the daisy on the front. As soon as you open the card and see the writing, you hand it back to John, “I can’t.”

“Yes, you can.”

“No! I can’t.” you sit up straight as John sits back down on the bed with you.

“Please,” he hands it back to you and you reluctantly take it. “Read it. Do it for me.”

“Well, how can I refuse now?” you roll your eyes and smile a little at John. Slowly, you open the card and your hands begin to shake as you read the words:

 **_John, I’m sorry I can’t be there for you_ ** **_, b_ ** **_ut you still need something, someone to love, so start with this_ ** **_b_ ** **_ecause the car doesn’t count. I love you, John. This illness has loomed over us for a long time and now that I have found my peace, find yours. Until that da_ ** **_y, y_ ** **_our best friend, Helen._ **

You look back up at John with tears in your eyes and notice he’s crying too. This is hard for John, you know he probably felt guilty when he fell in love with you. Felt like it was wrong, but this is what Helen wanted for him.

You crawl closer to John and wrap your arms around each other, “Someone to love.”

“See, she wanted this for me,” he gets up from the bed and places the card next to the picture of the two of you, “She wanted me to fall in love again.”

“I’m sorry, I know we’ve had this conversation before.” you say, laying back on the bed and John crawls next to you, holding you tight. “Well, that you love her and I differently.”

“After she passed away, I thought there was  _no_  way I would ever fall in love again, and I didn’t want to. But then I met you and that all changed. I found someone to love, someone to be there for me when I was having a bad day, someone who was understanding, someone who I  _wanted_  to be with just as much as I wanted to be with Helen, even more so.”

“Do you feel guilty about being in love with me?” you look up at John and he kisses your forehead.

“I did at first, and I felt even guiltier when I realized  _how much_ I love you. I used to think about her all the time, she occupied every inch of my brain,” he cups your cheek and you look up at him again, “But not anymore. I’ll always love Helen, but I want you to know that  _you_  have my  _entire_ heart. No one else.”

“This is usually where I would make some joke about how cheesy you are, tell you that you’re gross or something.”

“Not tonight?” he smiles.

“Not tonight.” you lean up to kiss John and when you pull back, you see tears in his eyes.

“I regretted never telling her about my job too, I beat myself up over it for years. I never got to fully…be myself with her because I never told her about this huge part of my life that I was hiding. I don’t know if she would have even accepted that.”

“She would have, John. She loved you.” you say and wipe a tear off his face.

“When I met you, I knew I never wanted to make that same mistake. You deserved to know  _everything_ about my life. I thought I could either not tell you and we could live a lie, or I could tell you and you would leave me, but you’d at least know the truth. I really never expected you to be as understanding as you are. I really underestimated you, I’m sorry.”

“I would never leave you, Jonathan.” you say, nuzzling into his chest.

“Can you promise me that?” he asks, looking down at you and for a moment, he almost looks scared.

“I can. I can promise that.” you say and lean in to kiss him on the cheek.

“I was to lucky to have what I had with Helen,” he says, playing with your fingers, “And even luckier to have it again with you. I don’t know how I got so lucky.”

You sit up and look at John, “It’s not _luck_ , John. You fucking deserved it, and you deserve  _this_. You deserve to be happy, to be in love, to be with someone who loves you. I absolutely adore you. I’m…” you start to tear up again and John reaches out to cup your cheek, “I’m so in love with you and you deserve every good thing in life.”

John stares at you for a moment, a smile tugging at his lips and you both start to laugh. He pulls you back down to lay next to him and kisses the top of you head, “I love you so much.”

After a few minutes of silence, you look up at John again, “I’m sorry I’m such an idiot.”

“Why do you think you’re an idiot?” he laughs.

“Because I was the one who got nosy and went looking through your stuff.” you say, sighing.

“I wasn’t hiding anything, I just keep some stuff I don’t want to get damaged in there. There’s pictures of us in there too.”

“Well, still, I’m sorry. I don’t want you think that I’m always comparing myself to her, because I’m not and to be honest, she doesn’t ever really cross my mind, but…just seeing how happy you were in that picture,” you tilt your head back to look at him and he smiles. “You looked so handsome and your cute little smile, you were so happy.”

“I’m happy now.” he sits up and points at the picture on the dresser, then over to the picture next to the bed. “See?”

“Yeah, I see.” you laugh and pull him back to lay with you.

“She would have loved you, by the way.” he laughs and brushes the hair out of your face.

“Really?”

“She’d love how you put me in my place. You’re certainly not afraid to stand up to me. She’d definitely think you were cute.” he nuzzles into your neck and you smile. “How feisty you get with me sometimes, how happy you make me, yeah…she definitely would have liked you.”

“Feisty? I have  _no_  idea what you’re talking about.” you laugh and intertwine your fingers with John.

“Oh, okay. ‘Do you wanna fucking talk to me or not’?” he says and you both laugh as he pulls you into hug you.

“Well, you were making me mad. I went down there to talk to you and you just…shut down, like you always do.”

John rests his head against yours and sighs, “I’m sorry.”

“You don’t need to be sorry, baby. I know it can be hard. Not only for you, but for me too sometimes.” you say, looking up at John.”I think we’re pretty good at talking through our fights, we don’t really ever fight though. I think we’ve only fought like three times, and it’s usually me who is mad.”

“Well, I can’t ever get mad at you.” John looks down at you and you smile at him.

“We’ll see about that.” you laugh as you lean up to kiss John.

“Can I tell you something?” he asks and you nod your head. “When we were at your mom’s for Christmas and you left me in your room, I looked through those pictures again.”

“Yeah, you stole my baby picture…I remember. It’s literally hanging on the fridge.”

He lets out a small laugh then shakes his head, “No, not that. I found one of you…and your ex. You looked…”

“Miserable?”

John starts to laugh harder and kisses your forehead, “Well, yeah. And even though, I know the story about you two, I still got a little jealous seeing another man with his arms around you. I wanted to rip it to shreds, if I’m being honest. Even though you’re not with him, it still hurt like hell, especially since I know how he treated you.”

“You’re such a liar. You’re just trying to make me feel better, aren’t you?” you laugh and rub his chest a little.

“No, I’m trying to tell you that I understand how you feel. Thinking about you holding his hand, kissing him...” he cups your face, making you look at him. “Making love to him…it sucks, but  _we’re_ together now. I’m yours, no one else’s. Are you mine?”

“Always.” you nod and press a light kiss to his lips before nuzzling back into his arms. You lay there in silence for a minute and lean back to look at John. “How do we get past this conversation? This…awkwardness that’s hanging in the air.”

“It’s awkward?”

You nod your head, then shake it, “I don’t know, I was just throwing up in the bathroom because I got so upset over your late wife. Seems a little weird.”

“I don’t think it’s weird.”

“Well, if it isn’t weird then it’s a little pathetic.” you laugh.

“No.” John shakes his head and hugs you tighter, “You know you’re allowed to feel things, right? Even jealousy. And earlier when you kept asking what you did wrong…stop doing that. Stop thinking you’re the one who has always done something wrong, stop thinking everything is your fault.”

“I can’t help it.” you shrug.

“I’m telling you right now if I ever see your ex, I  _will_ kill him.” he says, and you laugh. “I mean it, he was terrible to you.”

“He was.” you let out a small laugh and look up at John, “Anyway, how do we move on from this, John?”

He starts to laugh and crawls on top of you as you wrap your legs around his waist. Pressing kisses to your neck, his hands slide under your shirt to your breasts, and he begins rubbing his thumbs over your nipples, “I got an idea.”

“Can I at least brush my teeth first?” you ask, and John flops back down on the bed.

“I guess.” he says, jokingly. He walks to the bedroom door and turns around to look at you as he leaves, “I just want to check on the kids again.”

“Okay,  _dad_.” you laugh and John starts to smile.

As soon as John leaves, you pull out the lingerie you’ve had tucked in your bottom drawer. You pull out the lace bra, garter belt, stockings and panties. You know John will die when he sees you in them, especially since he mentioned how you hadn’t worn any lingerie in a while. You head into the bathroom and notice how red your face is from crying.

“God, you’re such an idiot.” you whisper to yourself in the mirror, “He’s in love with you, why can’t you get that through your head?”

You rub your hands over your face and walk over to grab a wash cloth from the linen closet to wash your face. You brush your teeth and quickly pull on the lingerie, laughing when you see how good you look.

After applying makeup to make yourself look a little more presentable and to hide your red splotchy face, you hear John walk back into the bedroom, his footsteps getting closer to the door.

“You okay?” he asks, and you see that he’s jiggling the handle.

“Yeah!” you say and look yourself over in the mirror again. “I’ll be right out.”

“Peach…you locked the door again.”

“Because I don’t want you in here. I’m fine,” you unlock the door and open it a sliver, “I promise. Just go lay down.”

“Are you sure?” he asks and tries to push the door open a little.

“Jonathan,  _I’m fine_. I promise. Stop trying to get in here.” you say, laughing.

“I just don’t want you to be sad anymore.” he frowns and tries to reach in to touch you, but you close the door more. “Okay, fine. I’ll go lay down before you take my hand off.”

You hurry back to the mirror and stand on your tiptoes to see your ass, and you start to smile. “He’s gonna die.”

You lean closer to the mirror to put on some lipstick and stare at yourself for a moment, still feeling incredibly nervous every time you wear lingerie for John.

“We got this, we can do this. He’s mad about you, he’s like…crazy in love with you. He doesn’t want _anyone_  but you, and that’s flattering as hell.” you sigh and play with your hair a little. “Okay, here we go. Shit! I forgot shoes!”

You pull on your robe and quietly open the bathroom door. You peek around the corner expecting John to be reading or flipping through the TV, but he’s not. He’s sitting on the bed, playing with his watch and he starts to smile, “I know you’re watching me.”

“Oh.”

“Are you coming to bed?” he pats the spot next to him and waves you over, “Come on.”

“Um…” you look down at your body and then back to John, “Can you close your eyes?”

“…Okay.” he’s unsure, but he closes his eyes anyway. You stand there hiding and wait for John to inevitably peek –- and he does.

“John! Stop it.” you scold him, and he laughs. “Close your damn eyes, or else I’m locking myself in the bathroom and staying in there all night.”

“Okay, okay, fine.” he says and closes them again.

“No, put your hand over them too.” you say, inching your way towards your closet. As fast as you can, you open the closet and slip on your heels. You look over at John as you walk to the front of the bed and smile when you see him still covering his face. John sighs loudly, and you look over to make sure the door is locked, then back to John. “Okay, you can open them.”

John opens his eyes, blinking a few times and laughs, “You’re just in a robe?”

“No, I got high heels on too.” you walk around the bed and John finally notices the stockings. You lift the bottom of your robe a little and wrap your finger around the garter holding up your stockings.

John gulps as he looks at you up and down, “Wow.”

You open one side of your robe, still keeping yourself hidden and John nods, wanting more. “You like what you’re seeing so far?”

“Yes,” he says, inching his way closer to you, “Take it off.”

“I put it on…so  _you_  could take off.” you say and smile as you tie your robe again.

John stands up and walks over to you, towering above you and kissing you relentlessly. He slowly unties your robe and slides it off your shoulders, pushing you back to get a good look at you. “You’re so sexy. How are you even real?”

“You mentioned how I hadn’t worn lingerie in a while, and I _was_  saving this for a really special day…” you say and push John down to sit on the end of the bed. “But I figured today was as good as any.”

“A special day?” he says and his hands slowly slide up your thighs and he grabs at your ass, “Like our wedding night or something?”

“Well, no.” you laugh and lean down to kiss him, “There’s no way I could save it for  _that_  long.”

“Was that a hint that I need to propose soon?” he laughs and slaps your ass, “You’re not being very subtle lately.”

“Oh, you are  _so_  not one to talk about subtlety, Wick. ”

John starts to laugh and shakes his head, “What does that mean?”

“We’re babysitting and you came home with a brand new high chair. You know damn well that I am perfectly fine with holding Harper while we eat, and they’re not going to be here forever, it’s only for a few days, a week at the most. Anytime I’m holding Harper, I can just  _feel_  you staring at me and when I look over at you, you try to look away as fast as possible.”

“Okay,” he laughs, “Maybe I’m not very subtle lately.”

You put your left hand in John’s face, wiggling your ring finger, “Yeah, I’m not either.”

“Turn around, baby.” he says and as soon as you turn around, John is biting and kissing your ass and thighs. “These panties look so hot on you, this whole… _thing_  looks hot on you, when did you buy this?”

“A few weeks ago, when I bought my shoes for my birthday.”

John’s hands are firm on your waist, and you feel him kissing your lower back and down to your ass again, “I really do love your ass.”

“I know, John.  _I know._ ” you sit in his lap and he lets out a breath, moving to kiss over your back and shoulder. “Should I give you a little dance?”

“Yes!” John all but yells, and he scoots back a little on the bed to feel you gyrating on his lap. His hands are steady on your waist as you slowly rotate your hips, and you can feel him growing harder and harder.

You shift a little to see John and you stick your foot up, “Look! My shoes that you like.”

“Sexy.” he says, still kissing your shoulder.

“You didn’t even look.” you frown.

“Can you blame me?” he says, pulling away and gesturing to you, “I got all  _this_ to look at.”

You stand back up to put your foot in John’s lap, and he kisses up your leg to your knee as he pulls off your shoe and throws it to the floor, then he reaches out for your other leg to do the same. You straddle John and he lays down on the bed, sliding your tongues into each other’s mouths. You sit back up and pull John’s arms around you, cupping his face with one hand when he sits up.

“I love you. I know you always go on about how much you love me, and I really do need to start listening to you. Because one of these days, you’re gonna get fed up with me and you’re gonna leave me.” you say, and John opens his mouth to talk, but you press your finger to it. “That was a joke. I know you’re not going to leave me.”

“Never.” he whispers and you smile at each other. “I get it though. I definitely have had those moments before, where I thought you were going to leave me. The day you found all that shit in the basement, I just knew it was over.”

“It was never  _over_ , Jonathan.” you laugh and rub your thumbs on his cheeks, his beard tickling your skin.

“Well, you went out on a date with Matt.”

“Because it was a free meal and I just wanted to make you mad, to be honest.” you say and frown a little. “And then when I saw you that night, I realized how immature it was. Seeing how hurt you were…”

“I wish I could go back and change all of that.” he says, kissing your cheek.

“I don’t.” you shake your head, “Everything that happened only made us stronger, everything we go through only makes us stronger.”

John buries his face in the crook of your neck and sighs, “I was so scared you were never coming back.”

“I was literally just upset because you lied to me. Baby, I promise I was always coming back to you.”

“Took you long enough.” he laughs and leans forward to kiss you.

“You know that you were fully capable of coming to my house and talking to me, right?” you start to laugh as John frowns, “So, really, it was you who took too long. You were the one hiding things from me and not telling me, even when I was  _dying_  to know.”

“I know.” he hides his face in the crook of your neck and sighs, “Don’t remind me.”

“Well, I’m going to anyway.” you say and John looks up at you. “Because there is  _nothing_  in this world that you should ever feel like you can’t tell me. No matter how bad _you_ think it is, I will always be here for you. I will always accept you for who you are, John.”

“And who am I?”

You take a deep breath and let out a laugh, “My favorite person in the entire world.”

“Oh, no big speech?”

“I can feel how hard you under my leg, and it’s kind of driving me crazy right now.” you say and rub your hand over the bulge in John’s pants as he closes his eyes.

You slide your hands up John’s biceps, onto his back and down his sides to pull his shirt over his head. You push him down on the bed and kiss over his chest, and he lets out a small moan when your lips graze his nipple.

“Oh,” you say and sit up a little, “You like that?”

John nods and chuckles, “Yeah.”

“Good to know.” you say and suck on your thumb, wetting it and rubbing John’s nipple as he closes his eyes. You lean down, running your tongue over John’s nipple and look at him, “How about that?”

“Yes,” he says with his eyes still closed, “I  _really_  like that.”

You laugh and lean back down, licking and kissing over his chest again. Your hands roam over John’s chest and tummy, and you notice all the scars and sigh, “I  _hate_  this.”

“What?” he says and props himself up on his elbows.

“All your scars…that someone hurt you.” you say, and John sits up straight, his arms wrapping around your waist. “I know we talked about a few of them and how you got them, but it still makes me sad.” you ball your hands up into fists and scrunch your face up, “I’ll fight them for you, John.”

“You’re too cute.” he laughs and leans in to kiss you. “And you’re too tiny. Little mouse.”

“Did you just call me ‘little mouse’?” you laugh and lean forward to kiss John. “That is so cute. But I’m really not that small.” you say and put your hands on your hips.

“Compared to me, yeah, you’re small.”

“Yeah, but I could use my smallness and cuteness to my advantage.”

“True.” he nods and grips your thighs.

“I do it with you all the time.” you say and push John back down. Your fingers trace the scars, and you press a kiss to each of them. John sits up again and you cup his face, “I just hate knowing that someone hurt you, and that people  _still_ want to hurt you.”

“All the people who gave me these scars are dead, if that makes you feel any better. And anyone who tries now…will be dead too.”

“That really shouldn’t turn me on as much as it does, but here we are…” you laugh and push John back down, “I think it’s time we get these pants off.”

You roll off and lay next to John, humming and tapping your hand on your thigh carelessly, waiting for him to take his pants off. John unbuttons his pants at the speed of light, and together you pull his pants and boxers off. He grabs your thigh, moving you to straddle him again, and you feel his cock against your inner thigh when you move.

“You still have your socks on, don’t you?”

“Maybe.” he starts to laugh, and you look down at his feet.

“Knew it.” you say and start to laugh so hard, you’re almost wheezing.

“Why is that so funny to you?”

“Because you’re completely naked and then…” you roll off John and point at his feet, “Socks. It’s just funny.”

John scoots up the bed, leaning against the headboard and reaches out for your hand, “Come here.”

You crawl across the bed and kneel in front of John, then he reaches out to pull you so your back is flush against his chest. He moves the hair from off your shoulder and leans forward a little to look at you.

“Hi,” you look up at John, giving him a shy smile, and he laughs. “What?”

“You’re nervous.”

“Possibly.” you shrug and play with the edge of your stockings.

“Why are you nervous?” he asks, and you feel his hands on your shoulders, massaging.

“I don’t know, I always get nervous when I wear lingerie for you.” you shrug and let out a small laugh, “I know you like it, and I  _feel_  sexy, but I just…always worry. You know me.”

“You don’t need to be nervous, peach.” John kisses your neck as he unhooks your bra. Carefully, he slides it off your shoulders and tosses it to the floor, and his hands wrap around your breasts. “You look very sexy, it’s hard to keep my hands to myself.”

You tilt your head up to kiss John, and his hand slides down your stomach into your panties and he rubs your clit slowly. He starts to laugh and leans forward to look at you.

“What now?”

“You’re so cute. Getting nervous about wearing lingerie for me.” John says and slowly slides two fingers in, pumping them steadily and watching you closely as you close your eyes, moaning loudly. “Okay, you are _very_  cute, but right now, what you just did…was hot.”

“Moaning?”

“Yeah, because of my fingers.” he says and moves his fingers in deeper, flicking them at a steady pace.

John leans forward, watching his fingers in between your legs, and he covers your mouth with his other hand when you moan too loudly. You try to reach behind you to grab his cock, but he swats your hand away.

“It’s about you right now, baby.” he says and he grabs your face, kissing you hard.

“I’m gonna come though…” you whine and try to pull his hand away, but he’s too strong. “John.”

“Don’t you want to? I want you to feel good, I wanna make you come.” he whispers, kissing your neck.

You tilt your head back and spread your legs more, “Yeah, but not like this.”

“Then why are you spreading your legs open?” he laughs.

You start to laugh, and you open your eyes to look at John, “Because you’re fucking amazing with your hands.”  

You kneel in front of John again, and he watches as you caress your breasts and slide your hand into your panties. He licks his lips as he watches you and he smiles when his gaze meets yours, “The way you touch yourself…”

“What about it?”

John strokes himself and moans as he watches you. Like two magnets, the two of you are drawn to each other, and you scoot closer until you’re inches from each other’s faces. “You’re so gentle. It’s hot.”

“Well, watching you touch yourself is hot.” you say, and John leans close to your face, trying to kiss you. “You’re huge, you know that?”

“Stop.” John starts to laugh, and he shakes his head as his cheeks turn pink.

“Am I embarrassing you?” you ask and lean down in front of John, taking him into your mouth.

“A little.” he admits and watches as you slowly suck on him.

You sit up straight and look at John, “What? Why?”

John looks down at your hand still in your underwear and laughs, “I don’t know, I just like to talk about you more.”

“Well, I like to talk about you. I love you, every single inch of you.” you lean close to John’s face and he smiles. “And your big cock.”

You put your fingers in front of John’s face, and he opens his mouth to suck on them. “Delicious.”

A smile slowly spreads across your face, and he tackles you to the bed as you both laugh. “I love you so much. I’m so sorry about earlier.”

“Me, too.” he says and wraps his arms around you, “I hope you never feel like you’re not important to me, or like you’d never…measure up to her because that’s not true at all.”

You shrug and look up at John, “I would be lying if I said I was scared I could never measure up to her, but I believe you.”

John sighs and nods, but doesn’t say anything. You sniffle a little and he looks at you, “Shit, did I do something wrong? Did I say something?”

“No, not at all.” you say and cup his face, “I just feel…dumb.”

John laughs and kisses your nose, “Why?”

“I don’t know.” you laugh and scoot away from John a little, but he crawls back on top of you. “Just this whole day has been weird. This afternoon you had to give me a whole pep talk because I was being weird about myself, then tonight we had this whole weird thing and now we’re laying here, trying to have sex and it’s just…not happening.”

“And why is it not happening?” he asks and leans up to look at your body.

“Because I won’t shut up. Right?”

“Actually, it’s mainly because I don’t know how to get this off of you.” he says and kneels on the bed. “I could just rip it off of you but you spent money on it, so I won’t do that.”

“Just pull it off like underwear.” you say and John quickly does. “I never thought I’d have to give a grown man directions on how to take off lingerie.”

“Hey, this is my first time dealing with all this.”

“Your first time. Please.” you laugh him off.

“You won’t believe me, but it’s true.” he says, laughing, and he leans down to kiss you.

“So, you’re telling me that you’ve never slept with someone who has worn lingerie?”

“Not like this. Maybe just a nightgown thing like you always wear to bed.” he says and throws your underwear and garter belt to the floor, “Do we really wanna talk about this right now?”

“Um, probably not.” you say as you both start to laugh.

“You want your stockings off?”

“Eh, I don’t care. Up to you.” you say and flip onto your stomach.

“I like them, so I’m gonna leave them.” John sticks up his foot and shakes it, “Look, we match.”

You roll over a little to see John shaking his foot and laugh. “Getting freaky in our socks, now  _that_  is hot.”

“Well, you don’t want yours off…”

“Yeah, but mine are sexy.” you say and lay back down.

“True.” John presses kisses to your back, making his way to your ass, and he nips at your lower back.

You look over your shoulder at John and see him staring at your ass, “I say we try something new tonight. Since you like my ass so much –- wait, I don’t mean…”

“I know.” John looks at you and smiles, “From behind?”

“Yeah, what do you say? We’ve never done it before.”

“Yes, we have,” he says, and you stare blankly at him. “When you found me at the hotel, that next morning.”

You gasp, “Oh, my god. Yes!”

“You remember now?”

You nod your head and smile, “I do. You fucking bent me over the table. We knocked cups off the table and everything.”

“So fucking good.” John leans down kissing over you back again and he sighs contently, “I’ve wanted to do it again, but you never mentioned it, so I guess I just figured you didn’t like it. Then I was too nervous to ask.”

“What?” you laugh and look back at John again, “You don’t have to be nervous to ask me anything. What else have you been too nervous to ask about?”

John shakes his head and his cheeks turn red, “Nothing.”

“No,” you turn around and kneel in front of John. “Tell me.”

“Well…” he starts to laugh and shakes his head again, “I can’t.”

“Fine, I’ll tell you one of my  _fantasies_. I’ve always wanted you to fuck me in the pool. Your turn.” you say and John shakes his head again. “Okay…I want you to fuck me in the rain, definitely want you to fuck me in public, maybe a dressing room or something.”

“We did…at the bridal shop.”

You shake your head at John and trail your fingers up his chest, “I mean, yeah, you ate me out, but I want you to  _fuck_  me.”

“Well, next time we go shopping. Got anything else?” he laughs.

“Uh,” you look around the room, thinking and smirk as you pat John’s cheek, “Oh, 69. I want to sit on this pretty face of yours again.”

“That can be arranged.” he smiles.

“Jonathan Wick, tell me what you’re too nervous to ask.”

“I want to fuck you on the hood of my car.” he blurts out, and you laugh.

“ _That’s_ what you’re too nervous to ask?” you say and scoot closer to John, kissing his neck. “You can fuck me on the hood of your car, on the trunk of your car, in your car, anywhere you want.”

“Okay, let’s go.” he jokes, grabbing you and lifting up from the bed.

“No!” you wiggle in his arms, and he plops you back down on the bed. “Not  _tonight_.”

“Fine.” he laughs and watches as you roll back over to your stomach. John immediately lays down on top of you, pressing his hips into your ass. “Fuck, this is gonna be good.”

You kneel on the bed, spreading your legs, and quickly cover your mouth when you feel John’s cock sliding into your pussy with ease. He grips your hips hard and thrusts slowly, getting used to this position.

“Oh, my god.” you both say in unison, and you start to laugh.

“I’m gonna fuck you so good tonight.”

“You always do, John.” you say, and John moans loudly. “Quiet, baby.”

“I’m sorry.” he says and gasps, “Look.”

You look over your shoulder and see John watching himself through the mirror on your closet doors. When your eyes meet, John smiles wide, almost beaming with pride, and he moves your hair out of your face so he can see you.

“Well, fuck.” you laugh.

“You look beautiful in this position. Taking me from behind, your ass jiggling every time I thrust into you.” He grips your hips so tight you know he’s probably going to regret it when he sees how red your skin will be, “Fuck, you’re so perfect.”

You look over your shoulder at John and smile, “I love when you talk to me, John.”

“Your tight pussy devouring me…so fucking beautiful.” he says, and from the mirror, you see him tilt his head back as he thrusts harder.  

You grab at the sheets, hoping to somehow keep yourself up, but your arms are already growing tired. John wraps his arms around your waist and pulls you against his chest, and he rubs circles on your clit as you tremble under his touch. You lean back enough to kiss John and he starts to moan loudly.

“You love my pussy, don’t you?”

“So fucking much.” he says and jerks his hips so hard that you lose your breath. John carefully pushes you back down on the bed and lays on top of you, thrusting fast and hard. “Oh my god, you feel so good.”

You look over your shoulder at John, and he leans down to kiss you. “You’re loving this, aren’t you?”

“This position? So much. You know how much I love your ass.” he murmurs in your ear. When you moan loudly, John laughs with satisfaction. “Scream for me, baby.”

“I…” you bury your face in the blanket, muffling your moans, and you look back over your shoulder to kiss John, “I can’t be too loud but trust me, I wanna scream right now. I wanna scream so fucking bad.”

You squeeze your eyes shut as your body jerks forward from the force of his thrusts, and John presses his hand to your mouth to muffle your moans. He scoots up the bed and pulls you into his lap, still fucking you from behind and he wraps his arms around you. He takes deep, slow thrusts and you feel his lips on your shoulder.

“Hey…”

“What?” you look over your right shoulder at John, and he smiles.

“I love you.”

You hang your head and laugh, “I love you too, John.”

“What?” he asks, kissing your neck and shoulder.

“I want you to talk to me again.” you say, leaning back to look at him. “I love how talkative you’re getting lately.”

“You want me to talk to you?” he jerks his hips wildly, and you let out a loud gasp.

You nod your head and smile, “Yeah, talk to me, baby.”

“You like my big cock filling up your little pussy?” he whispers, maintaining eye contact with you, and you whimper as he rubs circles on your clit, “You like taking me from behind? When I rub your clit as I fuck you?”

“Mhm,” you bite down on your lip to keep yourself from moaning, and John leaves a wet kiss on your neck. “Tell me what you’re gonna do to me.”

John’s gaze is intense and he starts to smile as he leans in to kiss you, “I’m gonna fuck you so good that you can’t walk. I’m gonna fill you up and make you scream my name.”

“Fuck, you’re so deep, Jonathan.”

“Are you okay? You’re not uncomfortable, are you?” John asks and shifts under you a little, trying to make sure you’re not uncomfortable in his lap.

You press your hand to your mouth and shake your head, “No, this is perfect.”

Moving your hips in sync with one another, John grabs at your chest and trails kisses down your neck and shoulder. His hands slide down your waist to your ass and he laughs, “Perfect little ass. Look at it.”

“You like fucking me from behind, John?”

“Yeah, but I can’t see your face.” he says, and you can tell he’s frowning. You move away from John and lay on your back, spreading your legs for him and he instantly slides back in. “That’s better.”

You cup his face in your hands and pull him down to kiss you, “I’m kinda obsessed with you, you know that?”

“I’m kinda obsessed with  _you_.” he says and slams his cock into you.

You arch your back and press your chest against John as you gasp for air, moaning. “I’m gonna come soon, I can’t hold it off anymore.”

John starts to laugh and leans down to suck on your nipple, “Me neither.”

Peppering each others bodies with kisses, John slides his hands up to your face, and he smiles when he sees you looking at him.

“I think we were made for each other.” he says, leaving a wet kiss on your lips. “I think we were supposed to meet when we did.”

“Do you believe in soul mates?” you ask, tilting your head a little.

“Yeah, do you?”

You smile and look away, trying not to laugh, “Not until I met you.”

“Cheesy.” John laughs and kisses you, “I do think we’re soul mates though.”

The orgasm you’ve been trying to push down is surfacing, and John starts rocking his hips faster, on the edge of his own completion. You wrap your arms around each other, moaning and breathing heavily together.

“I love you.” you lean up to kiss John and moan loudly into his mouth. “Fuck.”

“Together?”

You nod your head and squeeze your legs tight around John as he bucks his hips, ultimately bringing on both of your orgasms, and you tremble underneath him as he jerks his hips hard, spilling inside of you. John keeps a tight grip on you, and you feel his heart pounding in sync with yours as you both ride out your orgasms, moaning loudly in the crook of each other’s necks. You keep your lips pressed to John’s as he slows his thrusts, and soft whimpers leave your mouth as he hits your hidden spot relentlessly until you’re both drained.

“Wow.” you say, trying to catch your breath as John rolls off of you and onto his side of the bed.

“Yeah.” he laughs.

“That was…”

“Fucking amazing.” he exhales loudly, still trying to catch his breath and he looks over at you, “You’re fucking… _amazing_.”

“Yeah, you’re not so bad yourself.” you laugh and look over at John as he begins to laugh.

“Mmm, come here.” he says, and you scoot over to kiss him a few times before he gets up from the bed, heading to the bathroom.

“I love your little butt, John.” you tease, and he quickly covers his ass with his hands. “Stop it, it’s cute!”

After a few moments, he emerges from the bathroom with a warm wash cloth. He sits down next to you and spreads your legs, “Can I?”

“Yeah,” you nod, and John carefully pats away what he’s left between your legs. “You’re so good to me.”

“Just being a gentleman.” John licks his lips and looks back up at you, “You’re  _so_ damn sexy.”

You sit up straight, taking the wash cloth from John and gently wipe him off. A smile grows on his face and he leans over to kiss you.

“Thank you.” he says and takes the wash cloth from you, tossing it into the laundry basket when he walks past.

John lays back down, and you move closer for him to hold you. You lay on your side and play with the hair on John’s chest as he rubs your back. After a few minutes, you start to laugh when you feel John staring at you.

“What?”

“Just looking at you.” he says, and he pulls you in to kiss him.

“What are you thinking?” you ask, looking up at John. He rubs his thumb against your cheek and down to your bottom lip. “I so badly wish I could read your mind.”

John starts to laugh and shakes his head, “You don’t.”

“Yes, I do!”

“You want to know all the things I think about you?”

“If that’s what you’re thinking about right now, then yeah.” you nod.

“I’m thinking about how lucky I am to have you.” he says, and you immediately roll your eyes, laughing at him.

“Why are you so sweet?” you say and snuggle into his arms.

“I’m thinking about you walking around the house when I’m gone, what you do when I haven’t talked to you all day. I’m thinking about the first time I ever saw you. The first time I ever talked to you, touched you.” he says, and you look up at him. “You have a permanent spot in my mind, I think about you constantly.”

“Yeah,” you laugh and leave a wet kiss on John’s lips, “You’re all I’ve thought about for months now.”

John pulls the covers over the two of you, and the heat from his body is soaking into your skin. “I was just such an idiot tonight, I wasted half of the night ignoring you. You were so cute too, when you tried to crawl through the tube with Benji and go down the slide. You were laughing so hard and I was just…melting inside.”

“Hey, those slides are a lot smaller than I remember. Look, I think we can agree that we were both a little stupid tonight.” you say, laughing and watching John as he gazes at you.

John rolls onto his side, facing you and he lightly traces your face with his thumb, “You know how much I adore you?”

“I do.” you say and feel your nose burning as you start to cry.

He watches his hand as he caresses your shoulder and arm, “I’m just really thankful for you. Really thankful for how much you love me.”

You place your hand on John’s chest, feeling his heart pump under your fingers and smile, “You’re so easy to love, one of the reasons I fell in love with you so fast. Me, on the other hand…”

John shakes his head and scoots his pillow closer to you, “ _You_  are so easy to love. You don’t have any bad qualities.”

“Now I know that is a damn lie.” you laugh and John shakes his head. “Okay…well, I’mdramatic.”

John starts to laugh and nods, “You are, I wouldn’t have you any other way though. You’re so oblivious, it’s endearing. A little naive sometimes. But none of those are  _bad_  qualities.”

“What? How am I naive?” you laugh.

“You thought I was a bookbinder even though I came home with bruises and was limping half the time.” he laughs and cups your cheek, “Naive, baby.”

“No, I thought it was a little fishy. I just liked you so much, I looked past it.”

“You must have liked me  _a lot_.” John laughs.

“Obviously. Because then I found out you literally kill people for a living and I fell even harder in love with you.” you say, and the two of you start to laugh, “That sounds  _horrible_ , but you know what I mean _._ ”

John’s hand slides down your arm to your hand on his chest, and you lean forward a little to check the time on his watch. 11:57 PM.

“It’s later than I thought.” you laugh, and John looks down at his watch as he pulls it off. You sit up a little, pulling your stockings off and throwing them to the floor, “That watch still looks very good on you.”

“I wear it every day.” he says and places it on the side table, “I love it.”

“I wear my necklace every day and my bracelet, and now I’ll wear my earrings every day too!” you start to laugh and look at John, “Thank you for my  _entire_ jewelry collection.”

“You’re welcome.” he says and presses a warm kiss to your lips, then turns the lamp off and it fills the room with darkness. “I love you.”

“Oh, I guess we’re going to bed.” you say and flip over so John can spoon you. He starts to laugh, and you feel him kissing your shoulder as he fixes the blanket. “I love you. I can’t wait to see you in the morning. I know you’re just right here, but…” your whole body shakes with giddiness and you laugh, “I just can’t wait to see you!”

“Me neither. I love you.”

John curls up behind you, wrapping his arm around you and pulling you close to his chest. His breathing slowly evens out, and whether he knows it or not, he’s holding your left hand tight in his, tracing his thumb over your ring finger.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Posted this on tumblr as well, so feel free to like/reblog/comment if you feel like it [here](https://johnsbleu.tumblr.com/post/182794813034/hold-my-hand-john-wick-reader-chapter-41)


	42. Chapter 42

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warnings:** smut and fluff

You know you haven’t been asleep for long when you hear John coughing up a storm in the bathroom. Groggily, you reach over to the side table for your phone to check the time and sit up straight when you don’t feel it. You turn over and check the clock next to the bed,  _2:41 AM_.

John starts coughing again as you grab your robe and head to the bathroom to check on him. When you push the door open, he’s standing with his back to the door, and his hand is over his mouth as he coughs.

“John…” you reach out to touch his back, “Baby, are you okay?”

“Shit, did I wake you up?” he asks, keeping his back to you, “I’m sorry.”

You scrunch your face up in disgust when you smell something rather unpleasant, and you quickly cover your nose, “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine, but uh…” he turns around and his white shirt is covered in vomit, “ _Benji_ is not.”

“Oh, my god.” you gasp and put both hands over your mouth.

“Yeah…” John stands there with his arms up, figuring out how to get his shirt off without getting vomit in his hair, and he covers his mouth again, trying not to throw up.

“Oh, my god. Hold on, I’ll help you.” you reach into the linen closet and pull out the first aid kit.

“Thanks. I know I woke you up with my coughing, I’m so sorry.” he says, and you grab out a pair of small scissors from the first aid kit.

“It’s okay, turn around.” you say, then quickly cut the shirt off of John and throw it in the garbage. You grab a wash cloth from the linen closet, dampening it and adding a small amount of soap to it and wipe over John’s chest, “What happened?”

“I don’t know. I went down a little bit ago to get some water, and I heard Benji calling your name. I peeked into the room and he was crying, I thought maybe he just had a bad dream, and when I sat on the bed, he just…”

You try to hold in a laugh, but it slips out, “He threw up on you? The poor thing. Both of you.”

“Yeah, he threw up on the bed and floor too. I changed him into different pajamas and I didn’t want to wake you up, but he kept asking for you. I was trying to figure out how to get my shirt off without getting puke in my hair before I woke you up.”

“Okay.” you nod and turn to walk back into the bedroom.

“I’m so sorry, I know you’re tired. You can go back to bed, I can handle this.” he says, pulling a shirt over his head. He sits down on the edge of the bed and watches as you pull on a pair of pajama shorts.

You look at John and roll your eyes, “I’m not letting you do this alone. You literally just stood in the bathroom with vomit on your shirt, you’re kind of a mess.”

“I am.” John sighs, then begins to laugh.

“So, where are they now?” you stand in front of John and place your hands on his shoulders. He’s incredibly tense, and you try to massage his shoulders as you lean down to kiss him.

“Harper is still in bed, but I pulled it into the living room just to get her away from the smell, and Benji is watching a movie –- with a sheet covering the couch, just in case.”

You pull your shirt on, and John hands you a hair tie. You quickly tie your hair up in a messy bun and clap your hands together, “Let’s go do this.”

Benji is on the couch with Bleu next to him, and Harper is wiggling happily in her crib and playing with a toy. John has put a trash can in front of Benji, and you reluctantly look in it to see he’s thrown up again.

“Hey, buddy,” John says and feels his head with the back of his hand, “Your head isn’t as hot, that’s a good sign. Your fever must be going down. Look who I brought.”

Benji turns around and when he sees you, he gives you a small smile, “Hi.”

“How are you feeling, sweetheart?” you ask and kneel in front of Benji, trying your hardest not to cough from the smell.

“Icky.” he says, quietly.

“Yeah, I can see that.” you look up at John, and he gives you a sweet smile as you reach out to rub Benji’s cheek, “I’ll be right back, okay?”

Walking into the kitchen with John, you can tell he’s nervous. You wash your hands and turn around to see John fidgeting with your purse on the counter. He leans back a little to look at Benji in the living room and sighs deeply.

“It’s okay, John. I’m sure he just has a stomach bug.” you walk over and hug him, “He probably got sick at school.”

“Yeah, but what if it was because I gave him chicken nuggets, or…or because we went out to eat?” he sighs and hugs you again, “And this day…just keeps getting worse.”

You start to laugh and point to the clock, “It’s a  _whole_  new day, John. I can guarantee it’s  _not_ because of chicken nuggets or because we went out to eat.”

“Are you sure? I don’t know how to do all this stuff. I’m not…used to this.”

“You’re doing fine, I promise.” you laugh and cup John’s face, “Baby, it’s okay. Aurelio isn’t going to think you like…poisoned his child. Did you call him?”

“I tried to call him, but he didn’t answer, so I texted him. I told him that Benji was throwing up.”

“What did he say?” you ask and wrap your arms around John’s neck.

“He wished me good luck.” he says and lets out a small laugh, “I just said thanks.”

You laugh loudly and lean up to kiss John, “See! He doesn’t think you poisoned him. To be honest, he’s probably happy he got sick while he’s here rather than when they pick him up.”

John laughs and looks down at you, “That’s true.”

You laugh and squeeze your eyes shut when you hear Benji throwing up again. “We need to somehow calm his stomach down.”

“Clear liquids and mild foods such as, toast, yogurt, pasta, oatmeal, applesauce, and crackers.” he looks at you and smiles, “I already looked it up.”

Harper begins to fuss and she’s on the verge a full blown tantrum, you can tell. With John right behind you, you head back into the living room and watch as he takes her from the bed.

“We don’t have any juice, it’s already gone.” he says, bouncing Harper to keep her from crying. “I gave him some and he drank it, but he’s thrown it up.”

“It’s okay, I can run to the gas station, they’re open 24 hours.” you say and hear John’s phone beep.

He points at his phone on the coffee table and bounces Harper again, “It’s probably Jimmy.”

“Wait, wait, wait, you texted  _Jimmy_  for baby help?”

“Yeah, I mean he  _is_  going to be a dad.” he laughs as he shrugs, “He’s on patrol. Text him back, ask him to stop and grab some apple juice or something.”

You open the text and message him back:

**_We got a sick kid. Can you stop and grab some apple juice for us?_ **

“Okay, I texted him.” you say, and moments later Jimmy texts back. “He’s heading there now, and he said he’ll be over in about 15 minutes.”

“Okay.” John sits on the couch and places Harper in his lap. He looks at you and furrows his brow, “I think your phone is ringing now.”

You walk into the kitchen and sift through your purse for your phone and see it’s Tess calling, “Hello?”

“Are you okay?” she asks, and you can hear panic in her voice.

“Yes.” you laugh.

“I’m on my way over.”

“Wait, why?” you ask and walk back into the living room.

“Because I can.” she says and abruptly hangs up.

“Uh,” you look at John as he bounces Harper on his knee and she giggles. “I guess Tess is coming over now.”

“Why?” he asks and looks over at you. “I mean, I don’t care that she is, but why is she?”

“According to her, it’s because she can. Jimmy must have called her and told her that we’re having a kid crisis. Mom mode kicks in fast, I guess.” you shrug and kneel in front of Benji again. “Jimmy is gonna bring over some juice for you, okay?”

Benji nods and takes you by surprise when he leans forward to hug you. You look over at John and he starts to smile a little.

“That’s so cute.” he whispers.

“How is your tummy feeling? Still feeling icky?” you ask and sit in between John and Benji. He scoots closer, and you wrap your arm around him, hugging him tight.

“Yeah,” he nods and snuggles closer to you. “I think I’m done throwing up now.”

“We’ll see about that.” you whisper to John, and you both laugh.

John bounces Harper and looks down at her, “Do you think she’s hungry?”

“Probably.” you sigh and take her from John.

After trying – and failing – to get Harper to eat cheerios, bananas, and yogurt, you give up and make her a bottle. When you walk back to the living room, you see Benji curled up next to John, the two of them focused on the movie. John has his left arm wrapped around Benji, and when he hugs him tight, you smile to yourself. Red and blue lights flash and catch Benji’s eye, and he sits up a little as Jimmy pulls into the driveway with Tess right behind him.

“I love our friends.” you say to John as he gets up to answer the door, and Benji slowly follows behind him.

“Me, too.” he laughs and opens the door.

“I got a call about a sick kid at the Wick household.” Jimmy says and pulls out his flashlight, shining it at both John and Benji but making sure to avoid their eyes. He leans closer, looking at John and takes a step back, “Nope, not you.”

“It’s me!” Benji laughs and scoots closer to John. “I’m sick.”

Jimmy kneels in front of Benji and hands him a large bottle of juice, “Well, I got this for you. It should help with your tummy ache.”

You watch Jimmy as he talks to Benji and smile to yourself, knowing he’s going to make a great dad. Tess is on her way up the driveway, and even from sitting on the couch, you can hear her yelling.

“Hi.” Tess says and pushes past Jimmy. She starts to kneel down to hug Benji, but both Jimmy and John reach out and stop her. “What?”

“You’re pregnant.” they say at the time time.

“Oh, my god,” she swats their hands away and kneels down, “It’s fine. He’s not  _toxic_.” Tess presses her cheek to Benji’s forehead and frowns, “Oh, you poor thing, you  _do_  have a fever.”

“It was even worse about an hour ago.” John says and shuts the door. Benji reaches out for John and he picks him, carrying him back to the couch. “He hasn’t thrown up in about 30 minutes, so that’s good.”

“Yeah, and he won’t throw up as long as you two don’t wind him up.” Tess says as she sits down on the couch, and you hand Harper to her.

“Well, I gotta head back out. I’m off in about an hour, so if you need anything, I’ll be around.” Jimmy says, and he pats Benji on the top of his head. “Feel better, buddy.”

“Love you. I’ll be home in a little bit.” Tess says, and Jimmy walks over to kiss her, then leans down to kiss her belly.

John walks Jimmy out to his car, and from the window, you see the two of them talking. Jimmy is gesturing wildly, obviously telling John a story about his night.

“So,” Tess says with Harper on her knee, trying to burp her and you look over at them, “What a night.”

“Yeah.” you laugh and look out the window again at John. “We had a pretty bad night, even before all of this.”

“You and John?”

“Yeah,” you say and look over at Tess, “We got into this little fight, it wasn’t even a fight really. It was just us…not communicating, and then I was being completely dramatic-–”

“Of course.” she laughs.

“Yeah, I was  _so_  dramatic, I’ll admit it. I don’t know how John even deals with me.” you laugh and grab Harper’s bib off the table when you see the drool hanging off her chin. “I mean I do, he loves me, but…”

“Oh, trust me, I’ve been there.” Tess groans when Harper throws up on her hand and she looks up at you. “Ew.”

“Better get used to it, mama.” you take Harper from Tess, cleaning her off and putting her back in her bed, then head to the kitchen as Tess washes her hands.

“So, what did you two get into a fight over?”

“It wasn’t even a  _fight_. I told him that I knew about the whole pencil thing and he was worried about what I’d think. It was weird, he just kind of ignored me all night. He was so worried that Jimmy had told me this  _horrible_ story, and to be honest, what’s worse than hearing your boyfriend killed three people with a  _pencil_?”

“That’s the weird part? The pencil?” Tess laughs and you roll your eyes at her.

“You know what I mean.”

“Did it upset you? Your reaction was…” she leans against the counter, trying to figure out what word to use.

“I was  _shocked!”_ you laugh, “I know some details about his jobs, he’s finally started to tell me things here and there, but he’s never just straight up told me he killed people in a bar with a fucking pencil.”

“I still wanna see him working, I’m determined to find some sort of picture or video. I know Jimmy probably has  _something_.” she says and walks over to the fridge. “So…keep going.”

“Well, it seemed like everything was fine, but I found a picture of him and Helen in his safe.” you say, watching Tess as she looks through your fridge and pulls out a pudding cup and an apple.

You peek around the corner, looking out the window and see John and Jimmy still talking. Jimmy says something and John smiles, his shoulders shaking from laughter. Even though it’s dark out, you can see the smile of John’s face and you feel your knees giving out.

“So, then what happened?” Tess says with a mouthful of pudding. She pats the chair next to her, and you move to sit down at the table.

You let out a small laugh and sit back in your chair, “Then…”

“You got dramatic.”

“Well, yeah.” you laugh and play with the pencil on the table, “I’d never seen a picture of her. He looked  _so_  happy, so did she.”

“What did she look like?” she asks and takes a big bite of her apple.

“Honestly, she was the perfect match for John, and I’m not just saying that.” you look down at the table and sigh, “She was beautiful, classy, elegant, all the things I’m  _definitely_ not. She was…perfect.”

“Doesn’t mean you’re not perfect for John, and you know you are. So shut up.” Tess says and kicks your leg under the table. “You’re incredibly beautiful. You’re one of those weird people who are like everything mixed into one. You’re beautiful, but you can be super cute and super sexy. I’m sure John has told you that  _many_  times.”

“Yeah, but I’m  _way_  different compared to her. I’m sure the two of them never even got into an argument. I’m just so…different from her.”

“And that’s probably why he loves you so much. I mean, he’d never want to be with someone who reminds me of his dead wife.” she says, blunt as can be.

“Tess!”

“Well, it’s true.” she says under her breath, and you let out a small laugh. “Plus you know about his job and as far as I know, Helen didn’t.”

“She didn’t.” you shake your head.

“That must have been so hard for him, to hide all of that from his wife.” she looks down at the apple in her hand, then back at you, “Must have been  _really_  hard to hide that, but he trusted  _you_  enough to tell you. That means a lot.”

You look down at the pencil on the table and nod your head, “Yeah.”

“So, that’s all that happened?”

You shrug and look at Tess before looking back down at the table as the two of you start to laugh. “Yeah, we’re fine now.”

“I bet you are.” she says, winking.

“Actually…something else happened.”

She gasps and scoots her chair closer, “What?”

“When we were falling asleep, I don’t know if he knows it, but he was like…rubbing his thumb over my ring finger.”

“Shut the fuck up! He’s gonna propose, I feel it in my bones.” she says and sticks her arms out in front of her.

“I don’t know, I can’t see him doing it anytime soon. We’re so busy lately. And I know John, he’d never want to take the focus off of you, and he knows how much you mean to me, so it’s not like he’s going to propose to me  _at_ your wedding.” you take a deep breath and sigh, “And also knowing John, he’s going to do something super romantic and thought out.”

“Proposal at a wedding? Too tacky for John.” she laughs.

“Who knows, it could have just been something he didn’t realize he was doing. I mean we did just get done having sex, so I don’t know.” you shrug and sigh.

“Ya know, it’s nice to know that even with kids, you two can still find the time. Honestly, I’ve been worrying about that.”

“We’ve had them for one day…” you say, sticking up your finger.

“Yeah, but still. What’s gonna happen when we have a baby and Jimmy doesn’t want to have sex? Or he’s too tired?” she says and rests her head on her hand, “What if I’m a giant blob and Jimmy is like…not into it?”

“You’re hot, are you kidding?” you reach out and touch her stomach. “Tess, he loves you. You two created a human, and it’s just growing inside of you. That’s quite amazing.”

“Thanks, now every time I have sex with him I’m going to think about the fact that there’s a human in between us.” she starts to laugh and leans back in her chair, “He has been taking pictures of my belly non-stop already, and I’m not even showing.”

You cup her face as you get up from the table and kiss her forehead, “You’re beautiful, and this pregnancy is making you like…ten times more beautiful,  _if_ that’s even possible.”

“Yeah, Tess, you’re beautiful.” John says, and you both jump at the sound of his voice. “Hi.”

“Hey, John.” she says and quickly gets up to hug him, then gestures to his pajama pants. “Nice jammies.”

“Oh, watch out, Tess. The world’s deadliest assassin right there.” you walk over to John, pointing at his pants, “In his cute little pajamas.  _Very_  intimidating.”

“Imagine  _this_  coming to kill you. I would die,” she looks at John, trying to hold a laugh but fails, “Of laughter.”

“Hey, it’s three in the morning. Give me a break, you two.” John says and crosses his arms.

“Okay, I’ll admit you do look very cute. And I’m sure you can be very scary.” she says and winks at you. “So, how’s dad duty going?”

“I think we’re getting the hang of it.” John leans against the counter and reaches out for your hand. “An absolute angel, this one. Cleaned the vomit off of me and didn’t even gag.”

You start to laugh and pat his chest, “I had to cut his shirt off of him.”

“He threw up _on_  you?”

“Yeah,” John laughs and coughs again reminding himself of the smell, “We still need to clean the guest room.”

“I should probably head home anyway. I haven’t been sleeping much, but I should at least try.” Tess says and shrugs.

“You can stay longer if you want, we don’t mind.” John says and looks down at you.

“I can make some food or something.” you suggest, but Tess declines.

“No, I should get home, try to get some rest. Jimmy and I are going to his parents’ tomorrow, more wedding planning.”

“It’s so soon!” you reach out to hug Tess, then she moves to hug John again. “I can’t wait.”

“Me neither, I just want to party and dance.” she says and tilts her head back. She looks up at John and reaches out for his hands, “You’re gonna have to dance with me, John. The best man  _has_  to dance with the bride. It’s a new rule, I just made it up.”

John places his hand on the middle of her back and clasps her other hand tight, and the two dance in place for a minute. John lets go and gestures to her, “There.”

“Oh, that is so unfair.” you say and push John a little.

Tess lightly punches John’s arm and laughs, “Well, I expect something better than that on my wedding night, or else…”

“Or else what?” John laughs.

Tess wraps her arm around your shoulder and puts her hand on her hip, “Or else I’m stealing this one back from you.”

“Those sound like fighting words, John.” you laugh, and John pulls you into his chest.

Tess scrunches up her face and looks away, “I really gotta go. I can smell the vomit from the garbage. My nose is like 50 times more sensitive now that I’m pregnant -– it’s a thing, I looked it up.”

Tess quickly says goodbye to Benji and Harper, waving as she closes the door behind her. You feel John wrap his arm around your shoulder, and you both stand there figuring out where to start.

“I think since mom is going to stay with us for the wedding, we should maybe just overhaul the whole guest room. Maybe tomorrow we can go to the mall and buy some new stuff, if Benji is feeling better anyway.”

“With the kids?” you look up at John, and he smiles. “Ooh, you want people to think this is our little family.”

“No, I’m just thinking that it’ll be fun for him. We can get some lunch at the food court, and maybe he can pick out a toy or something.”

“I think it’ll be fun for  _you_.” you say and rest your head against John’s shoulder. John leans forward to see your face and you smile, “Okay, it’ll be fun for me too.”

Benji sits up straight and stretches, “I don’t feel so icky anymore.”

“You don’t?” you ask and look into the garbage can. “Well, you haven’t thrown up any more. That’s good. Are you getting sleepy?”

“A little.” he says and yawns.

“It’s almost four in the morning, I think you are tired, buddy.” John says and kneels next to you, looking at you. “Are you tired?”

“I am  _very_  tired.” you laugh and cover your mouth as you yawn.

“There’s no where for him to sleep. I guess he can sleep in our bed and we can take the couch again.”

“I have a better idea.” you look at Benji and cup his face, “Why don’t we go turn on the movie in our room, and we can pile into bed and watch it?”

“Yeah.” Benji nods and grabs his pillow, already heading for the stairs.

John touches your elbow to get your attention and he leans close to your face, “Are you sure? What about Harper?”

“We have a king size bed, I’m pretty sure we can all fit comfortably.” you laugh and tap John’s cheek, “Come on, dad.”

John puts his hand on his stomach and smiles, “That gives me butterflies every time.”

“I can tell.” you say and quickly turn around, walking hand in hand with Benji up the stairs.

John takes Harper from her bed and follows behind you up to the room. He lets you and Benji get situated first, then hands Harper to you and scoots in bed next to you, holding you tight.

“I can go get her pack ‘n play.” he says, already starting to get up.

“No, she’s fine. Look, we’ll put her right in between us. Benji…” you look over your shoulder and see him already fast asleep with his back to you. “Oh, he’s already asleep. Now it’s this little one we need to get to sleep.”

John moves closer to you and lays down, “Okay, do we have enough room?”

You look over your shoulder again and see Benji sprawled out with plenty of room to spare. “Yeah, we’re perfect.”

John reaches across and cups your face, pulling you close to kiss him. “Thanks for helping me tonight.”

“It was nothing, babe.” you say, kissing John again, and Harper giggles loudly, kicking her feet in the air. “Oh, my god.”

“What?”

“Kiss me again.” you say, and John leans over to kiss you as Harper squeals loudly. You nod at John, and he presses his lips to yours again. Harper kicks her legs fast and giggles again. “I think she likes the squeak it makes when we kiss.”

You look down at Harper as she reaches for your face, and John smiles when you look up at him. “That’s cute.”

“Is that funny to you?” you say to Harper, and she giggles so loud that you’re worried she’s going to wake up Benji. You kiss her cheek again and tickle her little belly as the two of you laugh.

John is watching with a smile on his face, and it grows when you look up at him again, “I love this.”

You nod your head and smile, “I know you do.”

John cups your face in his hand and you close your eyes, feeling the warmth of his skin. “Can I just say one thing?”

“Of course.” you say with your eyes closed.

“You would make a  _really_  good mom.” he says, and you open your eyes, staring at each other. A smile tugs at your lips and you lean forward to kiss John again.

John looks down at Harper and rubs her belly, trying to get her to sleep. He’d make a great dad, you know he would, but that conversation isn’t something you want to have right now. Not at four in the morning, and not after the night the two of you have had.

John looks up at you and you smile, “You should sing to her, maybe she’ll fall asleep.”

He starts to laugh quietly and he rubs his thumb over your cheek as you lay down, “You just want me to sing, don’t you?”

You nuzzle down into the bed and rub your index finger over Harper’s cheek, “Yeah, and it’ll help us both fall asleep.”

“How about I hum instead?” John asks and reaches over to turn off the light.

“Yeah, you can hum.” you say and already feel yourself falling asleep. “That's…good.”

He begins to hum, and he rubs your cheek with his thumb, coaxing you to sleep, and you feel his lips on your forehead as you fall into a deep sleep.

__

Feeling as if your bladder is going to burst, you carefully move John’s arm from across you and try to be as quiet as possible as you head into the bathroom. You use the toilet and quickly wash your hands when you hear a knock at the door. The door pushes open and John slips in, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

“Hi, baby.” he says. His voice is so deep and sleepy, it’s making you melt a little inside.

He points to the toilet and you nod, “Yeah, I just had to pee. Go ahead.”

You walk over to John, quickly pecking him on the lips and turn to leave, but he grabs your hand and stops you. “Stay in here with me.”

You hop on the counter and try not to look at John as he uses the bathroom, but his back is so wide and you want to bury your face in it. “Glad to know you’re comfortable enough to pee in front of me.”

John laughs with his back still turned to you and he leans down to flush the toilet, “Obviously.”

You smile at John as he walks over to the sink to wash his hands. He cups your face in his hands, still wet from washing them, and he presses his lips to yours hard. His hands immediately fall to your waist, down your thighs and he wraps your legs around his waist.

“What time is it?” you pull away and ask.

“Uh,” John laughs in the crook of your neck, pressing wet kisses to it, “I think it’s a little after eight.”

“Are the kids still sleeping?”

“Yup.” he says, still kissing your neck.

“John,” you cup his face and shake your head, “No.”

He rests his hands on either side of you on the counter and smiles, “Okay.”

When he stands up straight, you see the massive erection in his pants, and you laugh. “Are you kidding?”

“Sorry, I can’t help it.” he says, blushing. You wrap your legs around his waist again, pulling him close and slide your hand down the front of his pants into his boxers as you begin to stroke him. “Your hands are freezing.”

“They won’t be for long.” you say, and John’s eyes roll shut. “That feel good, baby?”

John hums against your lips, lazily kissing you and nods, “So good.”

You remove your hand from his pants, and he watches as you hop down off the counter and lock the door. Turning back around, you push John back to sit on the edge of the bathtub and you kneel in front of him. “Perfect height.”

“Peach,” he says, and you look up at him as you tug at his pants. “You don’t have to do this.”

“Why do you say stuff like that to me? That I don’t have to do things for you?” you stand back up and pull John up to tug his pajama pants down to his ankles. You lick your lips and kneel in front of him again as he sits back down, “I obviously want to do this for you, otherwise I wouldn’t be doing it. Do I look like the type of person who does things they don’t want to do?”

“No, it’s not that. I just don’t want you to be uncomfortable since…” he points the door and you laugh. “You know…the kids.”

“They were sleeping downstairs when you fucked my brains out last night, did you feel uncomfortable?”

“No.” he shakes his head.

“Me neither. It’s okay, baby.” you say, stroking him. “Let me do this for you, let me please my man.”

John moves his hand into your hair, and you feel him push you forward a little. You open your mouth to take him in and he moans loudly against his hand, struggling to keep his eyes open to watch you.

“Fuck,” he whispers, pulling your hair away from your face so he can watch. John reaches for the basket on the back of the toilet and pulls a hair tie out. He pulls your hair into a pony tail and you smile at him. “That’s better.”

You give John a thumbs up and he laughs. You look up at John and smile as you slowly slide him back out. He opens his mouth to talk, but he doesn’t say anything.

“You can talk to me.” you say quietly and run your hands up John’s thighs, taking him back into your mouth.

“No hands, I see.” he laughs and places his hand on your head, slowly bobbing you on his cock and creating a rhythm. “You look so fucking good with my cock in your mouth. You like when I fuck your mouth?”

“Jesus, John.” you lean back and start to laugh. John’s cheeks turn bright red, and he covers his face with his hands.

“I’m sorry, that was too much.” he says and you reach up to feel his cheek burning under your fingertips.

“It wasn’t, don’t be embarrassed. I was just caught off guard, I didn’t think you’d say something like  _that_. I was expecting something about how good it feels.”

“It does feel good.” he says and rests his hands on your shoulders, slowly pulling you back down. “Wait, can you…um…”

“Say it. Don’t be afraid.”

“I don’t know a better word, but…can you maybe, suck…?” he points down and looks at you.

“Please do  _not_  say scrotum,” you laugh, and John smiles. “Or testicles.”

“I wasn’t going to say that, but…yeah, will you? Wait, what’s a better word?”

“I don’t know. Balls, maybe?” you say, stroking John in your hand.

“Eh, maybe not.” he shrugs.

“I don’t mind that. I mean, think about what you would call them if you were talking to Jimmy.”

John shakes his head, and you look up at him. He points down to your hand on his cock and shakes his head again, “I don’t want to think about Jimmy.”

“What would you call them, John?”

“Balls.” he says, growing more and more embarrassed.

“Okay, now ask me.”

“I can’t.” he says, and you let go of him, crossing your arms and raising your eyebrows. “Oh, you’re not going to do it until I ask?”

You shake your head and bite your lip to hide a smile, “Nope, you gotta ask me.”

“Will you suck my… _balls_?” John looks up at the ceiling and shakes his head as his cheeks turn red.

“You put your face in my crotch almost every day, yet you’re afraid to ask me this. You are so funny.” you laugh and kiss lower to take him into your mouth.

His skin is unbelievably soft, and you find yourself enjoying it more than you thought you would. You weren’t opposed to it, but you didn’t know if John would be into it. You look up at John and he squeezes his eyes shut, breathing harder and harder by the second. His left hand in resting on top of your head, lightly massaging your scalp, and his other hand in gripping the side of the tub so hard his knuckles are turning white.

“Just like that, baby.” he says and tilts his head back, “That feels so good.”

“You like this a lot, wow. I’ll have to keep that in mind for later.”

John lets out a small moan and looks down at you, smiling when he sees you staring at him. “You are incredible.”

“You have really nice balls, John.” you say and start to laugh.

“See? It’s awkward to say.” he laughs.

“It’s not.” you shake your head, “You do have nice balls, and I really don’t mind that word.” you say and take John back into your mouth, swirling your tongue over the tip of his cock. “You feel really good in my mouth.”

“Your mouth feels really good.” he whispers, out of breath.

“And the way you taste,” you close your eyes, sucking the tip of his cock and taking in the taste of him on your lips, “You know how you always say how good I taste?”

“Yeah.”

“That’s how I feel about you.” you say and open your eyes to keep eye contact with John as you lick up and down his cock. “My favorite flavor.”

John reaches down for your hands, helping you stand up, and he wraps his arms around your waist, “You’re amazing.”

“ _You’re_  amazing.” you crash your lips to John’s, kissing him deeply.

“Can I?” he tugs at your pajama shorts and you nod. He pulls them down, along with your underwear and kisses over your hip bone. “Turn around, mouse.”

 _Mouse._  You smile at John and do as you’re told. His hands are soft and gentle as they move up and down your thighs and stomach. His fingers move against your clit and your knees buckle, but John keeps a tight grip on you. You jump a little when John presses his lips to your lower back and he laughs.

“Scared me for a minute.” you laugh and look over your shoulder at John, “I should have known you’d make your way to my ass though.”

“Can’t help it.” he says and sneaks his hand up your shirt, squeezing your breast in his hand. “Sit down.”

You sit back against John’s left leg as he continues caressing your breast, and he wraps his arm around you and he moves your hand back to his cock.

“Okay,  _bossy_.” you say and look over your shoulder at John as he starts to laugh and leans up to kiss you. You move his left hand in between your legs and rub it against your pussy lightly, “Well, since we’re being bossy.”

“Faster.” he whispers, and you grip him tighter in your hand, stroking faster as he moans quietly into your ear. “All the way to the top, baby. Yeah, just like that.”

John’s hand is still between your legs but has stopped moving, and you feel his whole body tense up. He grunts in your ear, and you look over you shoulder to watch his face, his brow is furrowed and his mouth is open. You let go of him and opens his eyes in shock.

“What are you doing?” he asks and looks around the bathroom.

You squeeze a small amount of lotion into your hand and move back to John. “Just wanted to get some lotion for you.”

“Oh,” he wraps his arms around you again and buries his face in your hair as you begin stroking him again. “Shit.”

“You like when I play with your cock?” you whisper to John hoping it’ll help him finish faster. “You like watching my hand slide up and down your big cock?”

The ache between your legs only grows as John slides his fingers in and you both moan. You roll your hips against John’s fingers, and he moans again as you look back at him. You tilt your head back on John’s shoulder and squeeze your legs shut as you tremble under his touch. You try to pull his hand away, but he doesn’t stop and you both laugh at your weak attempt.

“I’m gonna come if you keep going.”

“I know, that’s the point. Come on my fingers, peach.” he says and wraps his hand around yours on his cock, stroking him together. You move your other hand between your legs and on top of John’s, pushing him in deeper and helping him. “You gonna help me fuck you with my fingers?”

“Mmm.” you hum and let out a breathy moan.

John nuzzles into your neck and whispers, “Look up, baby.”

When you look up, you see the reflection of you and John in the mirror. You open your mouth to moan, and John quickly presses his hand over it to muffle it. You let go of John and put both hands on his knee as you grind against his thigh.

“That’s it, baby.” John’s hands are firm on your hips, guiding you against his thigh, “Rub that wet pussy all over my leg. Fuck, that feels so good.”

“John.” you moan quietly and try to cover your mouth to hide a moan.

“I love the way you move, baby.”

You drop your head as you moan loudly into your hand, and your body begins to pulse and jolt as you come on John’s leg. You sit back up as you try to catch your breath and feel John breathing hard against your back.

“John, I’m sorry, I–-” you turn around and see him wiping his legs off with some tissue.

“It’s okay.” he smiles and pulls his pants back up. He grabs more tissue and wipes at the floor, “I got some down here too.”

John stands behind you, washing his hands with you and pressing kisses to your neck, “That was new…I liked it.”

“Me, too.” you look at him quickly and smile.

“So, I heard you and Tess talking last night.” he says and leans his head against yours.

“About?” you ask and look up at him through the mirror.

“Everything.”

You push John off of you and open the bathroom door to check on the kids. They’re still fast asleep, and you shut the door and slowly turn around.

“I’m sorry.” you say, grimacing.

“Wait, why are you sorry?”

“…Dead wife.” you say and flinch, expecting John to yell at you.

“Oh,” John starts to laugh and shakes his head, “That’s just Tess. I didn’t take it personally, not at all. I know she didn’t mean anything by it.”

“Okay, because she  _definitely_  didn’t.” you lean against the door, and John walks over to you.

“Do you really think that we’re not the perfect match?”

You tilt your head back and look at the ceiling, “I didn’t mean it like that.”

“Well, I can tell you that Helen and I had our fair share of fights.” he says, and you look at him. “She…wanted me to talk more, open up more, but I couldn’t. How could I?”

“I get that. It must have been hard for her…and you.”

John reaches out for your hands and looks down as he rubs his thumb over your ring finger, “It was really hard for both of us. I remember giving her tiny details, and I knew it was enough to get her off my back for a little bit. She knew it too, and I know it hurt her. This is exactly why I didn’t do that with you. I could never do that to you.”

“I appreciate that.”

“I know you think we looked so happy in that picture and we were, but you need to realize that’s just one picture. That’s not our entire relationship right there. We had fights just like any other married couple.” he says and reaches out to hold you by the waist.

“What kind of fights do a married couples have?”

“Guess you’ll find out one day.” John laughs and leans down to kiss you. “I heard Tess mention that she’s surprised we still found time to have sex even though we have kids.” he says, and you raise an eyebrow at him, catching him slipping up. “ _The_ kids.”

“Yeah, she has a point though. A lot of people have sex all the time, and then when they have kids, they stop or they just…fall out of love, who knows?” you shrug and sigh, “But I don’t think that’ll be the case with them.”

“Do you worry that will happen if we have kids?” he says, leaning down to meet your gaze that’s slowly dropping to the floor. You shrug again and John laughs. “You do?”

“No, it’s not that. I mean it is, but…what if you’re away working and I’m at home with the baby, then you meet someone else? What if–”

“I’ve gone away for work now, so do you worry about that when I’m gone? Be honest.” he says and cups your face.

“Actually, no.” you say and look up at John, “I’ve never worried about that. Mostly because when you’re gone now, we facetime every second that you’re not working, we watched a whole movie through facetime once. And I  _trust_  you. I know you love me, and I know you want to be with me.”

“Of course, I do. I love you so much, and I want to be with you more than anything. Why would you worry about it after we have a baby though?” he laughs, and when you see how cute his smile is, you start to smile, but it fades.

“I don’t know. What if…we have a baby and then you realize that’s not what you want anymore, so you go out and find someone else?” you say, voice breaking.

“Are you speaking from experience?” he asks and rubs your arms. “Is that what happened…with your mom?”

You sigh loudly and tilt your head back against the door. You shrug as you start to tear up, giving John his answer, and he pulls you into a hug.

“But what if we’re both so exhausted from our jobs and taking care of a baby that we stop having sex, then you find someone else? Or what if I get a huge belly and you think I’m just disgusting because I’m just  _growing_  a human. And then–-”

“Stop.” John cuts you off, and you swallow hard as you run out of breath and lean back against the door. He cups your face in his hands and leans down a little to make eye contact, “We’re taking care of two kids right now and they’re a handful, yet we still found the time.  _Twice_ … well, three times now.”

“Yeah.” you nod.

“I can promise you that I will  _never_  stop wanting you. I’d never go out and find someone else, and you know that. I know you do.” he says, and you smile while looking at the floor, trying to avoid eye contact. “Seeing you with a baby in your belly – a baby that we made – would be the most amazing thing.”

You look up at John and smile, “You think so?”

“Yes! I’d never regret have a baby with you.” he says, looking you deep in the eyes.

“I don’t know why we’re talking about this, we’re not even married.”

“I heard that conversation too.” he laughs, and you quickly look at the floor again, feeling your cheeks growing red with embarrassment.

“You’re too sneaky.” you say, quietly.

John grabs your left hand and rubs his thumb over your ring finger, “I love you.”

“Enough to marry me?” you ask, and John looks up at you.

“I’m a little offended that you don’t understand how much I love you.” he cups your face in his hands, and his eyes dart over your face. John brushes his lips against the apple of your cheek, and you close your eyes, leaning your head back against the door.

“Do you love me enough to marry me, Jonathan?” you ask again, and John starts to smile.

“Of course.” John leans close to your face, pressing you between his body and the door. His mouth engulfs yours and his tongue immediately slides into your mouth, and he hums when your tongues glide against each other. “Do you love me enough to marry me?”

“I do.” you say and tilt your head back to look at John. You both start to smile and his mouth is back on yours, kissing you relentlessly until you’re both breathless. “So, when are you going to marry me?”

John shakes his head and backs away from you. He starts to kneel, and you grab his arms to help him back up. “What? You don’t want me to propose in the bathroom?”

“Stop!” you laugh and wrap your arms around his neck as he lifts you up in his arms. “Listen, I want to marry you more than _anything_  in this world, and I’ll be fine with whatever proposal you plan, but  _please_ don’t propose to me in the bathroom when it has faint smells of vomit.”

“Yeah, we really need to clean the bathroom, don’t we?” he laughs, then leaves a wet kiss on your lips.

“Let’s go back to bed.”

Walking back into your room, you point to the middle of the bed, and John lays down in the center between Benji and Harper. Benji rolls over and curls into John’s side, and you feel yourself melting when John wraps his arm around him. He presses his hand to his forehead and looks up at you.

“He’s not warm anymore.” he whispers and gives you a thumbs up.

Carefully, you lift up Harper and lay her on John’s chest. You crawl onto the bed, snuggling close to John’s left side and lean up to kiss him again. John rubs Harper’s back and she wiggles a little on his chest, still sleeping, and you wrap your arms around John’s bicep as you nuzzle into his shoulder.

“This is nice.” he says and looks down at you.

“It is. She  _loves_ you.” you lean up a little and kiss Harper’s cheek. You look at John as he tries to stop himself from yawning. “My sleepy guy, huh?”

“Yeah, you wore me out.” he whispers and kisses you before you lay back down.

“I don’t think we’ll be going to the mall today.” you whisper and look up to find John already fast asleep, holding onto Benji and Harper.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Posted this on tumblr as well, so feel free to like/reblog/comment if you feel like it [here](https://johnsbleu.tumblr.com/post/183232672259/hold-my-hand-john-wick-reader-chapter-42)


	43. Chapter 43

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **warnings:** nsfw for a few seconds

Slowly, you squint your eyes open and as you stretch, you feel the bed is empty and cold. The door to your bedroom slowly creaks open, and you hear John whispering something to Benji. You pull the blanket over your head, hiding from them and the sun pouring through the window.

“I don’t think she wants to wake up.” John says, and you hear Benji laugh. “Let’s pile on her.”

“No!” you sit up, laughing and put your arms up as John and Benji jump onto the bed, “I’m awake!”

“Wake up!” John and Benji say, plopping on the bed next to you.

“I’m awake, I’m awake!” you laugh and cup both of their faces in your hands.

“We made you breakfast!” Benji says and points to the tray of food on the dresser.

“Well, thank you!” you say and pull him into a hug. You reach out and touch his forehead, checking his fever, “Do you feel better?”

“Yeah. Uncle John said if I feel better, we can go to the mall and I feel  _way_ better.” he says, excitedly.

You look up at John, giving him a disapproving look and shake your head. He shrugs as he gets off the bed to get your tray of food, and he places it in front of you. Benji and John both wait for you to take a bite of your pancakes, and you look at them both as you laugh.

“Did you two already eat breakfast?”

“Yup! Uncle John made me waffles.” Benji says and gets off the bed, “Can I watch TV?”

“Yeah, go ahead.” John says and crawls onto the bed, laying down next to you. “So, good morning, well, good _afternoon._ It’s almost one.”

“It’s almost one?” you gasp and look at the clock, “Why didn’t you wake me up? You need to stop doing that.”

John leans close to your plate, begging for a bite, and you feed him a few bites of your pancakes. “I didn’t want to wake you up, we had a long night. And an eventful morning.”

A smile spreads across your face, and you lean over to kiss John. “Yeah, that we did. Where is Harper?”

“Playing with toys in her bed.” he says and opens his mouth for bite of your bacon. “She’s been pretty good all morning. We haven’t been up for long, but she ate breakfast. Some cheerios and yogurt.”

“Change her diaper?”

“Of course.” he nods, “I even changed her into a pretty cute outfit.”

“Does she actually match this time? No stripes and polka dots?” you laugh.

“No, she’s wearing a shirt that says ‘daddy’s girl’ and some blue pants.”

“Daddy’s girl, that’s so cute.” you cock an eyebrow up at John, and he starts to laugh. “You’re  _so_ not slick.”

“It’s cute! And she looks cute in it.”

“So, we’re going to the mall today, I guess.” you say and wipe off the syrup on the corner of John’s mouth, “You know this probably isn’t going to go as smooth as you think, right?”

“It’ll be fun.” John says, smiling.

“I feel like you say that  _a lot._ ”

__

John is pushing Harper in the stroller, and you’re holding tight to Benji’s hand and John’s arm as you walk through the mall. John nudges your shoulder as you walk past a lingerie shop and you shake your head.

“We have children with us, Jonathan.” you say and bump him back.

“Well, I can take them to get some lunch and you can go in there.” he suggests, a smile spreading across his face.

“Uncle John!” Benji yells and points at the carousel, “Can I ride it?”

John looks at you and shrugs, “Do you think he’ll get sick again?”

“Nah,” you shake your head, “I’m sure he’ll be fine.”

John helps Benji get situated on the carousel and walks back over to you as you bounce Harper in your arms. As soon as the carousel starts, Harper squeals and waves at everyone going by. When she sees Benji, she squeals loudly, and John lets out the sweetest laugh.

He’s incredibly fond of Harper and Benji, and it melts your heart how much he loves them and how protective he is of them already. On the way into the mall, some teenager wasn’t paying attention and knocked Benji down onto his butt. John instantly helped Benji up and told the teenager to watch where he was going. For a minute, you could have sworn the kid pissed his pants, he was so scared of John. He immediately apologized to both Benji and John, and almost tripped over his feet because he was walking away so fast. You told John that it wasn’t a big deal, that the kid wasn’t paying attention and he didn’t mean to knock Benji down. John didn’t care, he just kept saying that he could have hurt Benji.

John is staring at you as you bounce Harper in your arms, and he smiles when you look at him. You tickle Harper’s belly and she laughs so loud a few people look over at her.

“She loves you.” John laughs, scooting even closer to you and wrapping his arm around your waist.

“She’s so happy today.” you say and hand her off to John, who you know is dying to hold her.

“She is. She must have slept really well.” he says and looks at Harper as she coos, “Did you sleep well? Oh, you did? That’s good!”

“You’re so cute.” you lean up to kiss John and leave a small kiss on Harper’s cheek. “I sleep pretty well when I lay on your chest too.”

“I’m serious about you going into that store. This is the perfect opportunity. Benji is entertained, Harper is happy, and I’m perfectly fine with waiting here with them while you go in there.”

“Hey!” Benji yells as he goes by and he waves.

“Hi!” you both wave back, and John grabs Harper’s tiny wrist, making her wave.

“I’m actually gonna run to the bathroom really quick. Are you okay to stay here with them?” you ask, already backing away and John nods. Thankfully, the bathroom is just around the corner and as fast as you can, you use the bathroom, wash your hands and fix your hair.

When you come around the corner, you see John and Harper surrounded by a group of women as they fawn over him and Harper. Biting your lip to hide a smile, you slowly walk over and make sure you’re in ear shot so you can hear them.

“Your baby is so cute!” one woman says, and she reaches out to touch Harper’s cheek. “How old is she?”

“Thank you, she’s nine months.” John answers, and he looks around, but can’t seem to find you.

You laugh to yourself when you realize John didn’t bother to correct her about Harper not being his. When John shifts Harper in his arms a little, one woman quickly glances down at his left hand, probably checking for a wedding ring.

“How sweet, she’s a very happy baby, and she’s so beautiful.” The blonde woman says and Harper squeals loudly, wiggling in John’s arms.

“Thank you.” he says and looks down at Harper.

“It’s so nice to see a dad who spends time with his baby. Your…wife is very lucky.” she says, still trying to figure out if John is married.

You’re curious to see how John will respond so you scoot a little closer to them, but John finally spots you and smiles, waving you over. He’s uncomfortable with all the attention, and having you next to him will ease him, so you push past the women to stand next to John.

“I think I’m the lucky one.” John says and wraps his arm around your shoulder.

John is laying it on thick, and the ladies are loving it. You have to admit, you’re loving it as well. The thought of being John’s wife, and the thought of him being proud of you almost makes you weak in the knees.

“Aw!” they all smile and gush. They wave goodbye to Harper, and from the corner of your eye, you can see them still watching you.

“You are quite a hit with the ladies.” you say, and John leans down to kiss you. “Can’t leave you alone for too long.”

John laughs and rolls his eyes, “They were just talking about how cute Harper is.”

“Harper? Don’t you mean your _daughter_?” you look over your shoulder and squint your eyes as you look around the mall, “And this wife? I sure wanna meet her. She’s gonna wonder why I’m sleeping with her husband.”

John laughs and looks up to see the women still trying to look at him, “They’re still looking at me.”

“Oh? I thought they were just interested in Harper?” you smirk as John pulls you into a hug and kisses you, “A handsome guy holding a baby is like catnip to some people.”

“How about you?” he asks, pressing his lips to your forehead, then he kisses you on the lips again. You shrug a little, trying to hide your smile and John laughs loudly. “I’ll take that as a yes.”

“John? John Wick?”

You both hear a voice, and you turn around to see a taller woman with emerald green eyes and dirty blonde hair. She’s beautiful, but she doesn’t look familiar to you. John instantly recognizes her and waves.

“Hey,” he says, handing Harper to you, and he walks over to talk to her. “How are you?”

“I’m good, just doing some shopping. I thought that was you. I wasn’t sure when I saw the baby, but when you turned around a little, I recognized you.”

You turn your attention back to Benji to give John and his friend their privacy.  _Maybe he knows her from work,_ you think to yourself and try not to jump to any conclusions.

Benji is still on the carousel as it slows down and he waves you over, “Can I ride it again?”

You laugh and nod, “Yeah, ride it as many times as you want.”

“Really?” he widens his eyes as a smile spreads across his face.

“Of course!”

Harper can see John over your shoulder and she reaches out for him, fussing loudly, and you turn around to look at John and the woman still talking. Bouncing Harper in your arms, you walk over to John and tap him on the arm to get his attention.

“I’m sorry. I don’t wanna interrupt, but she wants you and I know she’ll cry her brains out if you don’t hold her.” you laugh and quickly hand Harper back to John. You turn to walk back over to Benji when John stops you.

“No, wait…” he says and wraps his arm around your shoulder, pulling you back to him. “This is my girlfriend, Y/N.”

“Oh, my god! Hi.” she says and reaches out to shake your hand. “I’m Jen.”

“Hi, it’s nice to meet you.” you say and look up at John, then at Harper. “I’m sorry, I don’t want you to think I’m intruding or anything, she just loves John.”

“Your daughter?” Jen asks.

“Oh no, she’s not mine…or ours.” you laugh and look up at John again, “We’re just watching our friend’s kids.”

“I was curious, because she looks too old to be your daughter, and it wasn’t that long ago that we went out.” she laughs and looks at Harper. Harper reaches out for Jen, and she takes her from John. “You’re very cute.”

 _They went out. Oh, my god. This is the woman he dated right before he met you_ , you think to yourself and smile at John. John rubs your back to comfort you when he realizes you know, and he leans down and leaves a small kiss on top of your head.

You’re not upset, if anything, you’re interested to know why it didn’t work out between them. Jen is incredibly beautiful and has the longest legs you’ve ever seen, she’s almost as tall as John, and you realize how short you really are. She’s sexy as hell, and her and John would have made an incredible looking couple.

When you look up at John again, he’s staring at you, and he hugs you tighter to his side, then starts to slide in hand into your back pocket.

“So, how did you two meet?” she asks, looking back and forth between you and John.

“Oh, uh, nothing special.” you laugh. “I lived across the street from him and one day-–”

“Oh, my god! You’re the girl from across the street!” she says, laughing.

Benji calls out for John and he quickly excuses himself. “I’ll be right back, sorry.”

_Convenient._

“John actually told me about you. We went out twice, but we both decided there was nothing there. He’s handsome and  _incredibly_  charming, but it just didn’t work out. I remember he apologized profusely, told me how sorry he was for wasting my time.”

You laugh and look back at John watching Benji on the carousel again, and he waves at him every time he passes. “Sounds like John.”

“I personally just wasn’t really interested in John –- not that he isn’t a great guy. He is, he’s very handsome and he’s definitely a catch. Just not my type, and I think he had someone else on his mind anyway.” she says and winks at you, “He told me how terrible his dates had been that his friend was setting him up on. I’m sure you know Jimmy.”

“Oh,  _yes_. I know Jimmy, he’s engaged to my best friend.” you say and Jen opens her mouth in shock.

“Oh, my gosh, Tess?” she says and you nod, “I met her a while back. She is a wild girl. Tons of fun. I love her.”

“She is very wild.” you laugh.

You feel John’s hand on your back and look over at him as he takes Harper from Jen. He starts to laugh when he feels you and Jen staring at him. “What?”

“I was just about to tell her that you had told me about her.”

“I did?” he asks and looks at her.

“Oh, like you don’t remember.” you push John a little and he laughs.

“You did. You told me how you were done going on dates that Jimmy was setting you up on. Told me about your horrendous date with Rochelle.”

“Rachel.” he corrects her, and she rolls her eyes.

“Oh, a horrendous date?” you ask and look up at John, “You  _have_  to tell me about that.”

“ I remember I asked what you were gonna do. I thought you were gonna join some dating apps, but you said that you might ask the girl out who lived across the street.”

“Aw!” you gush and wrap your arms around his waist, “That’s so cute.”

“It was very cute, he said you were so beautiful and he’s right.” she says, and you blush.

“Uncle John, I’m hungry.” Benji says, tugging on John’s shirt.

“We can go get some lunch.” John says, looking down at Benji.

“Well, I should get out of here anyway.” she reaches out to hug John and whispers, “I’m really happy for you. You deserve this, John.” she looks over at you and reaches out to hug you, “It was really nice to meet you.”

“Yeah, maybe we can have you over sometime soon for dinner or something.” you say, and John nods.

“I’d love that.” she says and turns around, waving. “I’ll see you around.”

You try your hardest not to laugh and jump into John’s arms. You watch him as he puts Harper back into her stroller, and he looks up to find you staring.

“What?”

“Nothing.” you say and start pushing the stroller. “It’s just cute that you told her about me. Even way back then.”

John shrugs and laughs, “Well, she asked, and I wanted to be honest with her.”

“That’s really cute, but I thought you weren’t supposed to tell anyone your next move though.” you say and raise an eyebrow at John.

__

“We should probably put Harper down for a nap. She’s fighting it, but once she’s in bed…she’ll be out.” you say and take off your jacket.

“I can do it.” John says and walks over to the pack ‘n play to put her down.

“Well, Benji, what should be do now?” you ask and sit on the couch just as a loud crack of thunder is heard. “Whoa.”

“I wanted to play outside with Bleu and with my new toy.” Benji frowns and sits next to you, holding up his remote control helicopter that John bought him.

It was a ridiculous price and you kept telling John not to buy it, but he didn’t listen. He just wanted Benji to get a toy that he liked. John, of course, bought Harper more toys and she loved every single one, shaking the one toy so hard she almost hit herself in the face.

You look out the window at the sky, growing darker by the minute. You know it’s a terrible idea, but you turn around and look at John, “Wanna go outside and play with Bleu?

“It’s raining.” John says and sits next to you on the couch, “We’d get all wet.”

“That’s okay. What is it you always say? Oh.  _It’ll be fun_.” you say, grinning.

“Yeah, Uncle John. It’ll be fun.”

“Only for a little bit. We don’t want you to get sick again.” John says, pointing at Benji. “And you need to leave your toy inside, otherwise it’s going to get ruined in the rain.”

“Okay.” Benji nods and heads to the back porch.

It’s not a downpour, but it is sprinkling and after getting outside, you decide you’d rather sit on the porch and watch them instead. John grabs the ball from Bleu and runs around the backyard, followed by Benji. Their laughter is contagious, and you find yourself laughing along with them, and when John almost slips in a puddle, the three of you burst out laughing.

“Nice save, Wick.” you laugh and clap your hands together to applaud him.

“Come on.” John says, waving you over.

“No, it’s raining.”

John tosses the ball to Benji and he looks over at you, “This was _your_  idea.”

John’s hair is soaked and he runs his fingers through it, slicking it back and out of his face. His shirt is stuck tight to his chest and you can see his nipples are hard. He looks incredibly delicious and you feel an ache between your legs as he walks over.

You lick your lips and shake your head, “I can’t.”

“Come on.”

“No. John, don’t.” you warn and start to get up from the chair. “Don’t you dare.”

“Come on, peach.” he says, and you back away from him, heading for the door.

“Jonathan Wick, do not.” you say, still backing away, and he grabs you before you can get inside. He presses you tight to his chest and the rain from his shirt soaks through your clothes. You’re laughing hysterically and you try to push him off of you as he laughs, tickling your sides. “John!”

“Got you.” he murmurs and holds you tighter to his chest. He lifts you up and you instinctively wrap your legs around his waist, and he walks out to the backyard as it begins to pour. “Oh.”

“Of course!” you say and hide your face in the crook of John’s neck. “It’s so cold.”

Benji laughs loudly, and you look up to watch him run around the yard with Bleu and stomping in every puddle he finds. He walks over to the two of you, shivering and you hop off John. The two of you grab Benji and bring him into your arms, holding him tight and warming him up.

“Are you cold?” you laugh and Benji nods. “Me, too. Let’s go inside, change our clothes and  get all warmed up. Maybe uncle John can make us some popcorn and we can watch a movie.”

You and Benji stand at the back door shivering as John runs through the house and grabs towels for the three of you, and you hear a loud bang that vibrates the floor.

“Jonathan?” you call out to him and take a step forward.

“I’m okay.” he laughs.

You look down at Benji as he starts to giggle, “I think uncle John fell.”

John groans loudly, and he peeks back into the kitchen, “It’s a little slippery, so stay there.”

“I like it here,” Benji says, and you look down at him. “It’s fun.”

“Well, we’re glad you’re having fun.” you say and look up as John walks in with towels. “We like having kids around.”

“Are you gonna have a baby?” Benji asks and looks up at you, then over to John. “That would be so cool. I just have a sister. I want a little brother, but my dad said that’s not going to happen.”

John stares at you as you try to find an answer, and you look up at him and shrug, “We might, we don’t know, buddy.”

John picks up Benji and carries him to the guest bedroom and shuts the door as he changes. He holds tight to your hand and points at the floor, “That’s where I fell, so be careful.”

“Did you actually fall? Like, just slipped and fell?” you laugh.

John’s arms wrap around your waist as you walk into your bedroom and he laughs, “Yeah, right on my ass. Thank God, you weren’t there to see me.”

You turn around and John pulls your shirt over your head, then moves to unhook your bra. His gaze drops from your face to your breasts, and you see a smile tug at his lips.

“I love the way you undress me, Jonathan.” you say and shake your chest a little.

“Well, I love undressing you.” he chuckles and leans down to kiss your cheek, “I’m sorry.”

“For?”

“What Benji said.”

“It’s okay, John. I feel like I need to keep reminding you: _he’s six_. Little kids are so…curious at that age. And they ask the most random and wildly inappropriate things. One time, my five year old cousin asked me what a clitoris was…imagine trying to explain  _that_.” you laugh, and John tries his hardest not to laugh, but he fails.

“How did they even know what word in the first place?”

“His 15 year old brother.” you laugh and shake your head. John’s eyes grow sad and he looks away from you. Reaching down, you help John pull his shirt off and move to unbutton his pants. “Jonathan, it’s okay. I promise.”

“I know, but I feel like you think this is all some sort of plan. Like I said yes to the kids so they’d be here all week and you’d get attached to them, and then you’d want kids or something.” he says, and you cock your eyebrow up.

“Wasn’t that your plan?” you ask, pulling off your pants and underwear.

John starts to laugh, kicking off his pants and boxers, “No.”

“Well, I don’t think that at all. Listen, I absolutely love these two kids. I love having them here.” you watch John as he pulls on dry boxers, and he sits on the edge of the bed to put on new socks. “And I love watching you with them, you’re so careful with Harper, and Benji just thinks you’re the coolest person alive and I’ll admit, you are pretty cool. He probably thinks you’re some kind of superhero.”

John looks up at you and smiles, “I like watching you with them, too. This morning when I woke up before everyone else, I cleaned the guest bedroom and when I came back up, you and Benji were all curled up with Harper in the middle.”

You laugh and raise an eyebrow at him, “You took a picture, didn’t you?”

John’s cheeks flush with color and he walks back over to you, wrapping his arms around you, “Yeah.”

“Figured.” you say and press your chest against John’s. You shiver again and he pulls back to look at you. “Sorry, I’m literally standing here naked and I’m  _freezing._ ”

“I can  _see_  that.” he says and looks down at your nipples hardening from the cold air. John stares at you as he leans down, taking your nipple into his mouth. “Mmm.”

You bite your lip to stop yourself from moaning and you slowly close your eyes. John moves to your other breast and flicks his tongue over your nipple as his hand slowly slides between your legs.

“Not now, John.” you laugh and move away from him.

“Fine.” he says and he grabs your waist to pull you back to him.

He lifts you up and you wrap your legs around his waist as he buries his face in the curve of your neck. The two of you are shirtless, and the warmth from his skin is soaking into yours and you hug him tighter. Your fingers trail up and down John’s back and you feel goosebumps underneath your fingertips.

“This is nice.” John murmurs.

“You’ve been saying that a lot lately.”

“Because this is nice.” he says, and his lips brush against your neck when he talks, “Our life. It’s nice.”

The two of you stand there, not moving and holding tight to each other for several minutes before you hear the TV in the living room and it alerts you that Benji has finished getting dressed. John pulls back to look at you, smiling as he leans in to kiss you. He puts you back on the ground and pulls on a new pair of jeans.

“I’ll let you get dressed, I’ll see you downstairs.” he says, backing away as he puts on a shirt.

__

“Hi!” Benji says, leaning over the back of the couch with a chocolate milk mustache.

“Well, hello.” you wave and plop down next to him, “Where is uncle John?”

“He went downstairs.” he says and points to the door leading to the basement.

“Oh! Well, I’ll go get him.” you hop up from the couch and quickly trot down the stairs.

John is on the phone and he turns around just as you get to bottom of the steps. You notice it’s his cell phone he’s on and not his work phone, and you feel relief wash over you when you realize he’s not leaving for a job.

“Okay, yeah.” he says into the phone and waves you over.

“Who is that?” you mouth and crawl into his lap.

“We’ll drop them off in about an hour or so, is that okay?” he says and wraps his arm around your waist to keep you on his lap. “Thanks. See you in a little bit.”

You watch John place his phone back on the workbench and smile when he looks back up at you. “Who was that?”

“Tess.”

“Is she okay?” you quickly get off John and turn to go back upstairs for your phone, but he stops you.

“She’s fine. Mouse, come here.” he pulls you back into his arms and smiles, “When was the last time we went on a date?”

“Um…” you laugh and shrug, “I have no idea.”

“Neither do I,” he laughs and pulls you closer, “But I thought we could do something tonight. Just you and I.”

“Really?”

“Really.” he nods and kisses your cheek. “Go get dressed and I’ll get the kids’ stuff all packed up.”

A smile spreads across your face as you happily skip up the stairs and into your bedroom. You quickly dry the rest of the rain from your hair and put on a bit of make up, figuring it  _is_  a date and you want to look nice for John. He’d think you looked beautiful no matter what, but it makes you feel good. It’s still cold and rainy out so you throw on a pair of jeans and a loose sweater.

“Hey,” John says just as you finish curling your hair, “Wow.”

“What?” you look at him and shuffle in place, “Do I need to dress fancier than this?”

“No! You just…you look absolutely beautiful.” he says, and you wave him off.

“Oh, please.”

“I got the kids’ stuff all packed up. Benji is  _so_  excited to hang out with Jimmy.” he says, and you follow him back into the bedroom. He puts on a nice shirt and watches as you put on your favorite pair of boots and he laughs, “I knew those boots weren’t packed away for good.”

“It’s cold out!” you say and stand up in front of John, “Plus, these are my high heeled boots, so I’m taller now.”

“Nah, still short.” John laughs and pulls on his leather jacket, then reaches out for your hand. “Let’s go.”

__

“Hi!” Tess says as she opens the door and ushers you all in.

“Hey!” Jimmy pops his head out from the kitchen and waves.

As soon as Benji sees Jimmy, he takes off running to him and jumps up to hug him. Tess turns around to watch, and you can tell the sight of Jimmy with a kid is making her melt. Her hand moves to her stomach and John nudges you.

“I know.” you mouth and laugh. You clear your throat to get Tess’ attention and she turns back to face you. “So, we wrote a list –- excuse me,  _John_  wrote a list of things Harper likes. She’s super into this certain toy that John bought her, we made sure to pack that. Any time she gets fussy, it’s like magic, she just stops.”

“She really likes cheerios and…” John reaches into her bag and pulls out a box, “She really likes these little puff things. I wrote other stuff that she likes too. She really loves noodles and green beans. Make sure the noodles are well cut though, otherwise she could choke.”

Tess is watching with a smile on her face and she looks over at you. She can see how proud you are of John and she winks when you look over at her.

“You’ve picked this all up within a few days?” Tess asks and laughs as she takes the bag from John.

“Yeah.” John nods, then smiles wide.

“She just woke up from a short nap and she’s  _very_  happy today, so you’re in luck.” you say and set Harper down on the floor in the living room, and she giggles loudly when Sadie sniffs her face. “She loves Bleu, so she’s gonna be in heaven with a puppy.”

You and John stand there watching Harper and Benji play with Sadie for a moment until Tess claps her hands in front of your faces, catching your attention.

“Okay! Get out of here!” she says, pushing the two of you to the door.

“Oh, I just…” you try to stop Tess from scooting you out the door, but she keeps pushing. “No, I need to just…”

“Stop. They’re going to be  _fine_. I’ll call you if anything happens, but nothing will. So…just leave.” she cups your face and laughs. She looks up at John and takes your hand, giving it to him, “Please, I’m trying to be nice…but you need to  _leave_.”

“Enjoy your date, lovebirds” Jimmy teases and waves.

“They’ll be fine. Have  _fun_.” Tess winks and slowly closes the door.

“I know they’re not our kids, but…” you look up at John and he nods.

“I know, I’m worried about them too.” he opens the car door for you, helping you in and walks as fast as he can to the driver’s side. “Look, they’re gonna be fine. Jimmy and Tess, I trust them and I know you do too.”

“I know, I know.” you frown and John reaches out to hold your hand, he brings it to his mouth and presses kisses to it.

“Tonight is all about you and I.” he says as he starts the car, “So…what do you want to do?”

“Honestly…” you look over at John and laugh, “I kind of just want to get some take out and go home.”

__

You don’t know how you ended up on childhood stories, but you and John are sitting on the couch laughing so hard that you’re in tears and John is holding his side. He sits back and lets out a big breath as he tries to stop laughing.

“That is…amazing.” he says, then starts to laugh again.

“Embarrassing is more like it.” you laugh and start to clean up all your take out boxes before John stops you. He opens his arms and you tuck yourself into his side. “Think everything is going well with Tess and Jimmy?”

“Yes.” he nods, and you look up at him. “Don’t worry about it. They’re fine.”

“I know! It’s just that Tess isn’t always the most patient person.” you cover your mouth and shake your head, “That makes it sound like I don’t think she’ll be a good mom. I  _definitely_  think she will be, but it’s just that  _we_ know how Harper and Benji are. We know what to do when Harper is getting fussy, and how she loves to be bounced.”

“I think that’s why Tess wanted to watch them so bad. I think she wants to get some practice in.” John cups your face in his hand and rubs his thumb over your cheek, “No more kid talk, just you and I.”

“Right.”

“So…” John says and a smile slowly spreads across his face, “What do you want to do now?”

You yawn loudly, and John starts to laugh. Since you didn’t get much sleep last night, you’d rather sleep than try to last through a movie.

You look up at John and shrug, “I guess just put in a movie, and I’ll be honest, I won’t last. I’m so tired.”

“That’s okay.”

“ _Please_ , wake me up when you go get the kids though.” you lean up and peck John several times before you snuggle back into his arms.

__

John slowly opens the door to see Jimmy and Tess dancing around with Benji and Harper. He moves out of the way so you can see and you look up at John, grinning from ear to ear.

“We’re back.” you announce, and Benji runs up to hug you, “Did you have fun?”

“Yeah! I got to make my own pizza, and then Aunt Tess let me help decorate cookies.” Benji is talking a mile a minute, and you sit on the couch to listen to him. “Then, Uncle Jimmy stuck his whole hand in the frosting and Aunt Tess laughed at him, and then…” Benji swallows hard and takes a big breath, still talking too fast, “And then he put frosting on her nose. It was so funny.”

“He did? That’s so silly.” you say and look over at Jimmy as he shrugs.

“I made a cookie for you and one for uncle John.” Benji says, and John and Jimmy follow him into the kitchen.

“How were they?” you ask as Tess sits down with Harper in her lap.

“ _So_  good, I absolutely adore her. You’re right, she’s a very happy baby.” she says and looks down at Harper. “Benji is the most affectionate little thing, isn’t he?”

“I know. He loves to snuggle with John, it’s so cute.”

“And seeing Jimmy with a baby…” she puts her hand over her heart and closes her eyes, “Killed me.”

“Oh gosh, how was he?”

She starts to laugh and leans back a little to make sure Jimmy isn’t listening. “She had a dirty diaper and I made him change it, he did surprisingly well. He put the diaper on backwards, but he got it on and that’s what matters.”

“Better than John, he wouldn’t even change her the first time.” you laugh.

“So, how was your date? What did you do?” Tess asks and sets Harper on the floor with some toys.

“Grabbed some food and went home, then John watched a movie and I took a nap.”

“Please tell me you didn’t.” Tess groans and sits down next to you, “You’re just joking, aren’t you?”

You start to laugh and watch as John comes out of the kitchen and sits down across the living room from you.

“No, we just went home. Is that…bad?”

“Bad? It’s  _horrible_!” Tess huffs loudly and covers your face with her hands, “You were supposed to go home and…I don’t know, have wild sex or something.”

You and John look at each other, and you start to laugh again, “I was tired, John wasn’t. I fell asleep, is it  _really_ that big of a deal?”

Tess scoots closer to you and grabs your hand, “Yes.”

“What? Why?” John laughs.

“She’s being dramatic, don’t listen to her.” you roll your eyes at Tess. You look over at John and smile, “Should we head home?”

He nods and picks up Harper from the floor, “Yeah, they’re probably getting tired.”

“I’m not tired.” Benji says, and he tries to fight a yawn.

John hands Harper to you and picks up Benji, throwing him over his shoulder. Tess and Jimmy walk you out to the front door as the rain starts to fall again and Tess sighs loudly.

“I’m so scared it’s never gonna stop raining.” Tess says and reaches her hand out to feel the rain on her fingers.

“Well, our house is big so if we need to, we can have the wedding inside.” you laugh, trying to make Tess feel better but she frowns. “Oh, my gosh, it’s gonna be fine. It’ll be perfect.”

Benji waves at Jimmy and Tess from the back seat, and almost immediately after pulling out of the driveway, he’s fast asleep. After tucking the kids into bed, you and John head for your room as thunder and lightening cracks outside.

“Wanna watch a movie?” you ask as you pull your pajama shorts on. “I promise I won’t fall asleep.”

John starts to laugh as he pokes his head out from the bathroom, “Yeah. Maybe a comedy, I’m in the mood for something funny.”

You hop into bed and smile at John as he scoots into bed next to you, “Hi.”

“Hi,” you kiss him and snuggle into his side. “So, what are we watching, Wick?

“Uh…” John flips the channels and sighs, “I don’t know.”

You sling your leg over John’s waist, feeling the bulge in his boxers, “I’m up for  _anything._ And I promise I’ll stay awake and watch it, just to make up for earlier.”

John turns off the TV and throws the remote on the side table, “There’s nothing on TV.”

“John!” you squeal as he crawls on top of you, peppering your whole body with kisses. “Stop!”

“You started it.” he laughs and puts his entire body weight on you.

“God, that feels so good.”

“What?” he props himself up his elbows and looks at you.

“You on top of me.” you say, and John leans down to kiss you again. “Just the weight of your body on mine is…amazing.”

John pecks you quickly and pulls his shirt over his head. He leans back down and pulls your shirt up more so he can see your chest, “You’re so beautiful.”

You cover your face with your hands and laugh, “I don’t know why, but every time you talk about me or my body, I turn to putty.”

John smiles, and he nuzzles into the crook of your neck as he leaves wet kisses all over your skin and you let out a small moan when he begins nipping at your jaw. His hand slides into your underwear and he pulls back to look at you as he slowly inserts his middle finger.

“You feel so good.” he murmurs against your chest.

“Turn the lights off.” you whisper.

Just as John reaches over to turn the light off, a bright flash of lightening rips across the sky and moments later, thunder rumbles loudly and the whole room goes dark.

“Well, guess you don’t need to turn the lights off.” you say and he starts to laugh. “Why does the power always go out-–” the lamp turns back on and you both laugh again, “Oh, well never mind.”

John reaches out and turns off the light, then gets up from the bed and heads for the bathroom. You hear him flush the toilet, then wash his hands and you watch him as he walks across the bedroom. He looks over and winks at you as you both laugh.

“What was that for?”

“I don’t know.” he shrugs.

John opens the balcony door a little, listening to the rain, and you get off the bed and wrap your arms around him from behind. He moves a little to make room for you in front of him, and he wraps his arms around your shoulders and holds you to close to his chest. Another loud bang of thunder strikes causing you to jump.

“God,” you put your hand over your heart and laugh, “Feel my heart.”

“How romantic.” John teases and places his hand over your heart, laughing. “Oh, my god, it’s pounding.”

“That scared the shit out of me.” you laugh and tilt your head back to kiss John, but you’re interrupted by a knock at the door.

“Benji.” you both whisper, and John quickly pulls his shirt back on as you walk over to open the door.

“Hi, buddy.” you kneel down and Benji immediately wraps his arms around you, “Did the storm wake you up?”

“Yeah.” he says, voice quiet and shaky. Thunder rumbles loudly as the rain begins to fall harder, and Benji quickly runs and jumps into your bed, hiding under the covers next to John.

You look at John and smile, “Guess he’s sleeping in here tonight.”

“Should we get Harper too? I’m gonna get her.” John says and stands up, “I just don’t like the idea of her being down there by herself.”

“No!” Benji yells, and you both turn around. “I’m…scared.”

“Stay here with him.” John says and quickly leaves.

You crawl back into bed with Benji and wrap your arm around him, “Wanna know a secret?”

Benji is practically shaking in his skin and he scoots closer to you as the thunder continues to rumble. He pulls the blankets over his head and you hear his voice muffled from the blankets, “Yeah.”

“You wanna know who else is scared of storms?”

“Who?” he asks and slowly pulls the blankets down.

You point to yourself, “I’m scared of storms, too.”

You’re not, but if it’ll make him feel better, you’re all for making up a story about how scared you are. You wrap your arms around Benji just as John comes in with Harper. She’s still fast asleep and he hands her to you, then he quickly leaves again.

“But you’re not a little kid.”

“Nope, but you know who helps me when I’m scared of storms?” you lean down to see Benji’s face, and he nods as John walks back in the room with Harper’s pack ‘n play. “Your uncle John helps me when I’m scared.”

“He does, what does he do?” he asks and quickly kisses Harper when John takes her to put her back in her bed.

“Well,” you look up at John and start to smile, “He lets me pick a  _really_  silly movie, and then he snuggles me to help so I’m not scared anymore.”

“Does it work?” Benji asks, and John laughs.

“It does work. Every single time.” you whisper, and you all laugh when Bleu runs into the room and jumps on the bed.

“Bleu is very scared of storms, too.” John says and pats Bleu on the side.

You nudge Benji’s shoulder and he looks up at you, “So, pick a movie and we can snuggle up and watch it.”

“You’re so full of shit.” John whispers and scoots into bed next to you.

“Not completely. You make me feel safe, and that’s not a lie. I know if someone broke in here, you’d protect me.”

“Of course, I’d kill anyone if they ever hurt you.” he says it so casually that it makes you shiver. He moves to lay down in between you and Benji, and he opens his arms as you both curl up next to him. “So, what are we watching, Benji?”

“I picked  _Shrek 2_!” he says and pulls the covers over him.

“Never seen it.” John laughs, and you sit up to look at him in shock.

“You’ve never seen  _Shrek_? You’re missing out on an timeless classic. A cinematic masterpiece, if you will.”

John laughs loudly and pulls you back down to him, “Yeah, well, I didn’t watch many kids movies.”

“Well, I’m just saying you were missing out.”

“I bet I was.” he says and leans over to kiss you a few times before rolling onto his back again, “But now I can watch it.”

“Hey,” you tap John’s chest to get his attention and he looks over at you, “Thank you for tonight, I know we didn’t really do anything, but it was nice. Just you and I…”

He leans over to kiss you again and he pulls you closer, “Just you and I.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> like always, this was posted on tumblr as well so feel free to like/reblog/comment if you feel like it [here](https://johnsbleu.tumblr.com/post/183612318089/hold-my-hand-john-wick-reader-chapter-43)


	44. Chapter 44

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **warnings:** nsfw

Heading to the kitchen, you hear laughter and smile to yourself. John has already gotten the kids up, dressed, and is now feeding them. Coming around the corner, you see John leaning against counter as he waits for the pancakes to be done, Harper is squealing in her high chair, and Benji is trying to get Bleu to do tricks.

You stand back a little and watch John as he looks over at Harper, watching her play with a toy in her highchair. A smile tugs at his lips and he looks over at Benji. John has been so happy these past few days, and you love it more than anything. Part of you is hoping the kids never go back home, you know it’s not realistic, but you love this temporary family you have.

“Good morning!” you sing as you walk into the kitchen, and Benji runs to hug you. You lean down and hug him, “Hi, buddy. Are you gonna eat pancakes?”

“Yeah, Uncle John told me to ask you what the secret ingredient is.”

“Oh, the secret ingredient…” you wink at John and he laughs. You walk over to the pantry and grab a tube of sprinkles and hand them to Benji. He runs back to John and dumps the whole tube into the batter.

“That’s the secret ingredient?” John asks, laughing.

You shrug and laugh, “I don’t know, I just made something up. What’s the secret ingredient to you?”

John wraps his arms around your waist and pulls you close, “Um, love?”

“You’re such a dork.” you start to laugh and he leans down to kiss you, “Did you make any plain ones? Harper can eat them.”

John holds up a plate of plain pancakes and smiles, “I looked it up online. Just letting them cool down a little first.”

“Of course you did. Our search history must be so funny.” Taking the plate from John, you put them back on the counter and wrap your arms around each other, “I love you so much.”

Benji laughs loudly, and you both turn to see Bleu standing up on his hind legs, eating pancakes off the counter, and when he sees he’s been caught, he lays down and whines. John leans down and pets him, then hands him another pancake.

“Oh,  _of course_.” you laugh.

__

“So, who called?” John asks walking back into the kitchen.

“It was Tess.” you sigh and lean against the counter next to him, “She seemed upset, almost sounded like she was crying.”

“You said it was  _Tess_  who called, right?” John laughs.

You let out a small laugh and nod, “Yeah.”

John’s face gets serious and he leans closer to you, “Do you think she’s okay? What about the baby?”

You shrug and watch as John reaches for your hand, “I don’t know. She’s on her way over though.”

“I’m sure she’s fine,” he kisses the top of your head and inhales your shampoo, “She’s fine, peach.”

“I know, it’s just…not like Tess to be so upset. She’s always been so… _quiet_ when it comes to her emotions -– well, when she’s sad. When she’s mad, she’s not afraid to let you know.”

John leans down next to you again and smiles, “You two are a lot alike in that way.”

“What?” you gasp and shake your head, “I am  _so_  not like Tess. She’s so outspoken.”

“That’s true,” he laughs, “But you aren’t afraid to tell me when you’re mad at me, and sometimes when you’re sad, I have to pry it out of you.”

You laugh and shrug, “Okay, you got me there.”

John furrows his brow and looks down at the floor to see Harper grabbing tight to his jeans. She pulls herself up and stands there, wobbling for a moment. “Well, hi.”

“Oh, no. John, don’t move. She’s gonna walk and I don’t want her to.” you say and slowly move to grab Harper, but John stops you.

“Why? Let her walk.”

“This is a  _huge_  deal for a mom, Amanda hasn’t seen it yet.” you look down at Harper as she wobbles, and John pushes you back a little.

“ _Let her walk_ , we just won’t tell them.”

“This coming from the man who was worried about Aurelio not hearing her say ‘dada’?” you say and look back down at Harper.

John stands behind you, holding you by the waist to keep you from moving, “It’s okay.”

Harper wobbles for a few more seconds and plops back down on her butt, crawling as fast as she can to John. When she gets to his legs, she reaches out and pulls herself up again.

“I hate how much she likes you.”

“Is someone jealous?” John says and lets go of you to grab Harper.

You roll your eyes at John, “Maybe.”

“You’re still my number one girl.” he smiles and reaches out to kiss you.

John sits on the couch and pats the spot next to him, beckoning you to sit down with him and Harper. Benji is laying on the floor playing with some toys and he turns around to look at John.

“Can I play with my helicopter today?”

“That’s a good idea, buddy.” John nods.

“Perfect day for it. It’s really nice out.” you say and look out the window. The sun is shining and the grass is so green, it almost looks fake. “Do we  _own_  a lawn mower?”

“Yeah,” John laughs and sets Harper on the floor, and she quickly crawls over to Benji. “Why?”

“I was just wondering.” you smile at John and lay your legs across his lap, “I’d like to see you out there mowing the lawn, all hot and sweaty. Using your shirt to wipe the sweat off your face and then I get a glimpse of your stomach.”

John laughs and shakes his head, “Stop.”

“How about one day you do that, and I can wash your car?” you wink at John, and he laughs again.

“Actually, this car washing thing sounds like a good idea.” he buries his face in the crook of your neck and rubs his beard against your skin, making you laugh loudly.

“An even better idea is you washing the car while  _I_  watch.”

“Aunt Tess is here!” Benji exclaims and before you can even get off the couch, he’s already opening the door and hugging her.

“Hey, everyone.” Tess says as she takes off her coat and hangs it up, “It’s so weird to drive past the house and see no one there.”

“Yeah, April hasn’t been home for a few days now. I know she got that apartment in the city, and she’s been staying there a lot, but I guess I didn’t realize she was already, like… _living_  there.” you say as Tess walks over to you, and you watch as she hugs John.

“I called her the other day and talked to her for about ten minutes. I guess she’s just jam packed with work. She doesn’t even know when she’ll be free next.” she sighs and sits down next to you. “Well, she said she’s for sure going to be at the wedding, so that means a lot to me.”

“Of course she’s going to be here for that, she loves you.” you look up at John and nod, letting him know it’s time for him to leave.

“Hey, buddy. Let’s go play with your helicopter.” he says and the two of the head for the front yard.

As soon as they leave, Tess buries her face in the pillow and begins to sob. You let Tess cry it out for several minutes before you finally say something.

“Look, I’m going to let you cry for as long as you want, but will you just let me know that you’re okay?” you whisper, and she looks up at you.

“I’m fine, the baby is fine. We’re fine.” she exhales and looks at Harper on the floor, “It’s just Jimmy…”

“Oh, my god, is he okay?” you cover your mouth, then reach for Tess’ hand, “Did he get hurt at work or something?”

“No, he’s fine. It’s just that after watching the kids, we got into this ongoing argument, and every time, it just get worse. He says because we’re gonna have a baby now and we’re going to be looking for a house, he’s gonna have to take up more shifts at work.” she sighs and looks up at you, “But the problem is, they aren’t offering him any overtime.”

“Oh. Well, couldn’t he offer to work for a different station on some nights or something?”

She puts her head back in her hands and begin to cry, “That’s the other problem. He wants to move closer to New York City. He’d work more hours and he’d get paid more, but that just means that he’d never be home with me and the baby…and we’d never see you and John anymore.”

As long as you can remember, you and Tess have never been apart, and the thought of it makes you want to cry. You reach over and rub Tess’ back not knowing what to say.

“I’m sorry, you know I’m not usually like this.” she says and exhales as she sits back.

“It’s okay to be upset, I would be too. I would die if John wanted to move and I had to move away from you. We’ve never been apart, I can’t even stand the thought of it. I mean, yes, you’ve been living with Jimmy and I’ve been living with John, but we always see each other. We never go more than a few days without seeing each other, and we talk every day.”

“It’s just now I’m rethinking everything. Do I want to marry him and live in a house taking care of a baby on my own? And it doesn’t even make sense to want to move to the city, it’ll cost us so much to live there and our house would be tiny.” she says and wipes the tears off her face.

John peeks his head in through the patio door and clears his throat to get your attention, “Hey, sorry to interrupt. Tess, you okay?”

Tess starts to laugh and turns around to look at John, “Yeah, I’m fine.”

“Just making sure.” John smiles, then closes the door.

“He always gets so worried about you.” you say, and Tess looks at John again as he joins Benji in the yard. “He loves you a lot.”

“He’s a good guy.”

“I bet if I told him all of this, he’d probably offer to buy you a house and pay for everything for the rest of your lives.” you laugh, and Tess finally gives you a genuine smile. “Anything to make me happy.”

“God, don’t do that, that’s embarrassing. We’ll figure this out all. This isn’t your problem.” she says and turns to you, “You know you do that a lot? You tend to think everything is your problem that you have to fix.”

“I know, but I feel bad because…”

“Because John has a shit ton of money and you would never have to work again, or worry about how to pay for things for your kids?” she says, laughing a little. “That’s not your fault. You’re just lucky that you met someone who is fucking rich.”

“Are you really rethinking marrying Jimmy?” you ask and reach out for her hand. “Because if so…I’ll physically fight you.”

Tess stands up and laughs, “ _You’re_  gonna fight me?”

You and Tess are close in height, but she _is_ taller than you. You stretch as best as you can to make yourself taller and she laughs.

“Okay, well, I wouldn’t fight you, but I’d be really mad at you.” you say and reach out to pick up Harper, “You love Jimmy and Jimmy loves you. This is just…a bump in your relationship. You can’t throw away everything the two of you have because of this one, small thing. You’re having a baby, you can’t do that, Tess. Listen, I get it, you don’t want to move away, you don’t want to be away from me. I don’t want that either, and I’m positive Jimmy doesn’t. He’s trying to do this  _for_  the three of you. He’s trying to build a future for you and your children.”

“I know.” she groans and rolls her eyes, “God, you sound like mom. When did you get so wise?”

You point at John outside and laugh, “Since I’ve been hanging around him. He’s so smart.”

“I can’t believe the two of you  _still_  have the kids.” Tess says and walks outside, “When are they going home?”

Harper is wiggling away in your arms and kicking her legs, so you set her in the grass and watch as she crawls as fast as she can over to Bleu, John, and Benji.

“Well, from the sounds of it, Aurelio will be home sooner rather than later. I think it’s just a day or two.”

Tess nudges your shoulder and laughs, “Bet you’re excited for them to go home though.”

“Yes…and no. I’m excited for it to just be John and I again, but look how happy he is.” you look over at John as he tickles both Harper and Benji, “He loves having them around.”

“Well, maybe…you two should have kids.”

“Please, don’t.” you warn.

“Okay, okay, I’m just saying…John would be a great dad.” she looks at you and smiles, “And your babies would be cute.”

“Tess!” you sigh, and she laughs loudly.

__

Standing in the driveway with Harper on your hip, you watch Benji as he jumps up and down excitedly, and he waves at Aurelio as he pulls into the driveway.

“Dad!” he yells and jumps into his arms. Aurelio hugs his tight and closes his eyes. “I had so much fun, I got a helicopter, and then we went to the aquarium with Uncle Jimmy and Aunt Tess.”

“You did?” Aurelio laughs and sets Benji down. “Sounds like you had fun.”

You kiss Harper’s cheek and reluctantly hand her to Aurelio, and you already miss having her in your arms. You know if you stay outside to say goodbye to them, you’re going to cry.

You kneel down to hug Benji and cup his face, “I had  _so_  much fun hanging out with you, and I’m going to keep that picture you made for me on the fridge forever.” you stand back up and wipe a tear off your face, “I don’t know why I’m crying, but I’m feeling very emotional right now, so I have to leave.”

“Thanks for watching them.” Aurelio smiles and looks at Harper as she squeals loudly.

“It was honestly so much fun,” you put your hand over your eyes and laugh, “I gotta go.”

“I’ll be in a few minutes.” John says and rubs your back.

__

The bathroom door creaks open, and you turn around to see John holding his hand over his eyes, “Are you naked?”

“No, I just started the shower,” you laugh and move his hand, “Since when do you cover your eyes when I’m naked?”

He starts to laugh and lifts you up onto the bathroom sink, “Just being a gentleman.”

“Right.” you smirk, leaning closer to kiss him.

“After you went inside, Benji started crying, then Harper started crying.” John laughs.

You cover your face with your hands and lean your head on John’s chest, “ _No_ , don’t tell me that.”

“Baby, we’re still going to see them.” he laughs.

“I know, I know.” you sit back up and sigh, “It was just a lot of fun watching them with you.”

“And I  _loved_ having the kids here, but I am  _so_  glad they’re gone. Benji was really starting to hog you. I want you all to myself again.” his lips press against your neck and your legs automatically open. He pulls back and smiles, clearly satisfied by how much you want him. “That won’t last long though, since your mom is coming in two days.”

“I know, but until then…” you smirk and pull him closer.

John is wearing a navy blue t-shirt, and it’s so tight on his arms that every time he flexes you think the fabric is going to rip. He’s kissing your neck and your eyes are glued to his left bicep as he grabs the other side of your neck. You pull the sleeve up to see his tattoo and you rub your thumb over it.

His hands move lower and he pulls your shirt down, revealing your breast. He stares at it for a second as your nipple hardens and he looks up at you as he leans down, bringing his mouth to it. He flicks his tongue over it a few times, watching as you gasp and he starts to smile.

Wrapping his mouth around your nipple, you feel his other hand slide up your thigh, and you widen your legs more, then slouch a little when you remember you’re still fully clothed. He pulls away from you and the feeling of his mouth on your breast lingers.

Staring at each other, you both start to undress, and your eyes drop from his eyes to his cock when he steps out of his boxers. His gaze falls to your breast when you take off your bra and he licks his lips. You’re desperate for him and you jump into his arms, wrapping your legs around his waist. Your lips meet for a passionate kiss and he moans when your tongues slides against each other.

“In the shower?” he asks, already out of breath.

You tilt your head back, sucking on your bottom lip and you nod. He starts to walk to the shower and reaches out with one hand to test the water as you kiss his neck.

“Wait,” you say, and he looks at you, “Maybe the bed…”

John starts to laugh and turns around still holding onto you tight and walks into the bedroom. He plops you down and raises his eyebrows, “Are you sure? You don’t want it in the kitchen, do you?”

“Nope,” you shake your head and lay back on the bed, “I want you on top of me.”

John kisses up to your legs and thighs, and he smiles wide when he get to your pussy. He spreads your legs and licks over your entrance as you arch your back and gasp for air. He continues up your stomach to your breast, and he leans down and inserts himself, watching as a smile spreads across your face. He almost collapses on you when he slides in, but he puts both hands on either side of you as he rocks his hips and lets out a groan.

“Tell me how much you love me.” he says, thrusting his hips hard.

“I love you, John. So much.” your eyes rolls shut, and you feel him grabbing at your breasts. “Fuck, I love you so much. I can’t love you any more than I already do.”

He leans closer to you, kissing down your neck and his beard scratches against you, “I love you, baby.”

Digging your nails into his skin, you arch your back, and he wraps his arms around you as his thrusts become imperative. “Hey, John…”

“What?” he leans up to look at you, and you smile.

His hair is hanging in front of his face so you use both of your hands to move it out of the way. Pressing kisses to each other’s lips, you pull him back down on top of you, “Nothing, I just wanted to see your face.”

“I feel like it’s been forever since we had sex.”

“It was like…three days.” you laugh, and John leans up to look at you.

“You can be as loud as you want now.” He starts to laugh and jerks his hips, causing you to lose your breath. You let out the loudest moan, which is almost a scream and it echos in the room. John starts to laugh even harder and cups your face, “That was so dramatic.”

“It was-–” you get cut off when John thrusts so hard you feel like he’s going to rip you in half. “It was real though.”

Pulling you on top of him, you wiggle back down onto his cock and roll your hips slowly. You watch John with a smile on your face as he starts to twitch, and you know he’s close already.

“Fill me up, John.” you smile and lick your lips, moving your hips rhythmically.

“Fuck,” he moans, “Keep doing that and I will.”

You run your hands up and down your body as you rock your hips, moaning every time he hits your hidden spot. When your hands slide up to your breasts, John swats them out of the way and grabs your breast in both hands, squeezing and pinching your nipples.

“Do I feel good today?”

“So fucking good.” he smiles, and his mouth drops open, “I’m…”

Pressing your lips to his, you both move your hips in tune with each other and moan loudly. John moans so loud that you’re pretty sure you could hear it from the front door if the bedroom door wasn’t closed. His grip on your back tightens, and he shudders under you, coming.

You still your movements as he fills you up, twitching and jerking his hips repeatedly. He squints one eye open to look at you and you raise your eyebrows. He nods, giving you the approval to keep going and you start to move your hips again.

He reaches up and tucks your hair behind your ear, caressing your cheek, “You’re beautiful.”

Your legs start to shake and John smiling is the last thing you see as your eyes roll shut. You tilt your head back and feel John’s hand on your hips, guiding you and trying to bring on your orgasm.

“John.” you moan loudly, and without even looking, you know John is smiling wide. You roll off him and he’s back on top in a matter of seconds.

He pounds into you and moans, “You like that, baby?”

You bite down on your lip hard and nod, “Fuck…keep going.”

“You want this?” he pulls his cock out and strokes himself, moaning.

“John!” you frown and prop yourself up on your elbows. “You’re being such a tease, stop!”

“Well?”

“Yes! I want it. I want it so bad. Please.” you lay back and spread your legs further.

He groans as he thrusts back into you, “Does it make you feel good? Do _I_  make you feel good?”

“Yes!” you moan loudly and squeeze your eyes shut. You start to shake, and you pull John on top of you as he rocks his hips faster. Feeling the hair on his stomach rub against your bare skin sends you over the edge and turns you into a moaning, twitching mess. You squeeze your legs tight around John and let out a earsplitting moan. “Oh, fuck. John.”

“Damn,” he laughs and watches as your body jolts with pleasure, “God, that is such a beautiful sight.”

John lays on top of you as you both catch your breath and you lay in silence for a while, feeling yourself falling asleep in John’s arms. You clear your throat and John looks up at you.

“I’m so glad we decided to never use condoms.” you say, pushing his hair back, “Do you even  _have_  condoms?”

John starts to laugh and nods, “I bought some when we first started dating.”

“The thought of you going into the store and buying condoms is just really killing me.” you laugh.

“Why?”

“I don’t know. Were you embarrassed?” you ask and John shakes his head.

“No, why would I be?”

“I don’t know, I just can’t picture you walking in to buy condoms.” you laugh, and John starts to smile. “You never even asked if I wanted to use a condom our first time.”

“Yeah, I just assumed you were on the pill or something.”

“That was pretty irresponsible of you.” you laugh and tuck his hair behind his ear.

“It was. I don’t know, I just had a feeling that we weren’t a one time thing. And I definitely wasn’t sleeping around, so it’s not like you needed to worry about anything.”

“Yeah, but you could have gotten me pregnant.” you wiggle under John, and he rolls off to lay next to you.

“Would that be such a bad thing?” he cups your face, and the two of you stare at each other, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to bring it up.”

“The shower is still on.” you laugh and look over at the bathroom, watching the steam roll into your room.

“I know. I figured we’d end up in it after.”

“My legs feel like jello, I’m too weak to walk.” you whine and stick your arms out.

John quickly hops up from the bed and scoops you into his arms. “Good thing I’m not.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like always this was posted on tumblr as well. Like/comment/reblog if you want [ here](https://johnsbleu.tumblr.com/post/183805463554/hold-my-hand-john-wick-reader-chapter-44)


	45. Chapter 45

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **warnings:** none

“Yes, mom. He’s on his way right now. He left like twenty minutes ago.” you look up at John, widening your eyes as you both frantically look for his car keys. “Yup. Mhm, he’ll be there soon. He  _didn’t_  forget about you. Okay, okay, okay, bye.”

“Fuck, where are they?” John says, ripping the cushions off the couch.

“How are you even going to get there in time? It’s an hour drive to the airport.”

“It won’t take that long for me.” he says as he fishes in his pockets again, “Was I wearing these jeans yesterday? I don’t even know what I did with my keys when we got home.”

“That’s not very John-like.” you laugh, and John gives you an displeased look. You stand up straight and turn around a little, watching John’s gaze fall to your ass, “Sorry, I was  _pretty_  distracting yesterday, wasn’t I?”

“You were, you always are.” he says and walks over to wrap his arms around your waist. You lean up to kiss him a few times and he laughs, “See, you’re doing it right now.”

“Sorry.” you laugh as you walk into the kitchen.

“Where are they?” he says and throws the cushions back on the couch, “Where the fuck did I put them?”

“A-ha! Found them!” you yell from the kitchen and toss them to John as he runs to the door.

“Good! I’ll be back.” he says, and in a matter of seconds, you hear his tires skidding on the street in front of your house.

You lay down on the couch, already tired even though you’ve just woken up. Bleu sits next to you on the floor and stares at you, probably waiting for a walk. “Hi, baby.”

He looks at you for a few seconds, and you can tell he’s dying for attention. He crawls on the couch laying on top of you and you groan.

“Okay, you’re way too big for this.” you laugh, “Are you going to be a good boy this weekend? The house is going to be crowded with people. You’ll get to finally meet my mom, she’s going to love you.”

Bleu tilts his head every time you talk and he leans forward to try and lick your face.

You hear your phone ringing and you look at it to see John calling to FaceTime, “Hi.”

“I left in such a hurry, I didn’t say that I love you.” he says with his eyes still on the road as he drives.

You feel your cheeks burning as your start to blush, “That’s okay, John. You don’t have to say you love me every time you leave the house.”

“Yes, I do.” he says and finally looks at his phone, “I do.”

“Well, I love you.” you say, and Bleu jumps off the couch and you groan loudly.

John raises his eyebrow and laughs, “What was that?”

“Our child.” you laugh and turn the camera to Bleu, who is now laying on the floor. “He really does think he’s a lap dog, I still blame you for that.” you hear cars honking as John weaves through traffic, his face pure focus. “Okay, I don’t like the idea of you driving fast as fuck  _and_  talking to me on the phone, so I’m gonna let you go and pick up the house since we destroyed it.”

“Okay, we’ll be home soon. I love you.” he says, looking down at his phone quickly.

“I love you, too.”

__

As you walk down the stairs, you catch a glimpse of your mom and John at the end of the driveway. He’s pointing all over the yard, then back across the street to your old house and they both start laugh.

John shoves his hands in his pockets and he looks over at you standing in the window. He smiles wide and waves at you as your mom turns around. When you open the door, Bleu rushes past and runs out to greet her.

As you get closer, you feel yourself tearing up, and you realize how much you’ve missed your mom. It’s only been a few months since you saw her last and you’ve been facetiming with her more now, but it’s not the same. John sees you tearing up and he smiles at you, happy to see how happy you are.

“Hi, mom!” you say as you hug her.

She wraps her arms around you tight and holds you for a minute, “Hi, baby. Oh, I have missed you so much.”

“I missed you, too.” you open your eyes and see John smiling at you.

“I was telling Jonathan how beautiful your house is.” she says, and you look over at John as he raises an eyebrow, waiting to see how you’ll respond.

“Thank you!” you say and stick your tongue out at John when she looks back at your old house.

“It’s a nice upgrade from anything you’ve had before.”

“It definitely is.” you nod, laughing. “Jonathan’s home –- sorry,  _our_  home is very nice. I’m lucky that he’s kinda crazy about me and wanted me to live with him, for whatever  _strange_ reason.”

Your mom and John both look at each other, shaking their heads. John’s hand slides over the middle of your back and he pulls you closer to him. He leans his head against yours and whispers, “Don’t do that.”

Your mom reaches out to cup your face and shes smiles tenderly, “You know why he’s crazy about you.”

You bite your cheek and look at Bleu as he struggles to contain his excitement. His tail is wagging wildly and smacking the gravel on the driveway. You all look down at him and he whimpers loudly, waiting for your mom to pet him.

“Oh, you must be Bleu!” your mom says, leaning down to pet Bleu, “Aren’t you just a handsome boy? I remember how badly you and Tess wanted a dog when you were little. Made a whole presentation for me.”

“Did it work?” John laughs.

“No.” you and your mom say together.

“To be fair, mom had her hands full with us. We did have a cat though, but she died when I was in seventh grade.” you say, and you lean down to pet Bleu. “I never wanted a pet after that, I was _so_  sad. I had some fish here and there, but nothing big. Not until Bleu, which is fine with me because he’s a good boy and totally worth the wait.”

John leans down to pet Bleu and smiles, “He is a good dog. He’s crazy about you.”

“Oh, and he’s  _really_  good with kids too, we babysit occasionally for Jonathan’s friend, and he’s so good with both the baby and the little boy.”

Your mom looks at Bleu and pets him again, “He looks like a pretty good dog to me.”

“Yeah, he’s our baby.” John laughs and wraps his arm around your shoulder.

Holding hands with John, you walk around the outside of your house and give your mom a tour. She almost falls over when she realizes how big John’s house is, she just keeps nudging you and smiling. She’s impressed, you can tell and you pray she won’t ask how John could afford such a nice house.

“A tennis court?” she says, gaping.

“Yeah, we’ve never used it. Well, I haven’t anyway.” You look over at John and he shakes his head. “Apparently Jonathan hasn’t either.”

“Came with the house.” he laughs.

“Guess you two need to take up tennis, can’t let it go to waste.” she says and continues walking around the back of the house. “The lake is very nice.”

“Yeah, it’s kind of our spot, we sometimes get some food and go down there, and we take Bleu down there a lot.” you say, and your mom smiles.

“You haven’t swam in it yet?” she asks, laughing. “You  _love_  to swim in the lake. Jonathan, you have to take her swimming down there.”

You start to laugh and shake your head, “Absolutely not. I will  _never_  get in a lake again. If I can’t see my feet in the water, I’m not getting in.”

Your mom puts her arm around your shoulder and laughs, “The poor thing is terrified of lakes. That’s what you get for watching movies about scary lake monsters.”

John starts to laugh and quickly covers his mouth, “Sorry, that’s just so cute.”

“Okay, no. I’m not scared of lakes because of ‘scary lake monsters’, I’m scared of lakes because I got bit by fish, and look…” you hold up your arm and show John the tiny scar on your elbow, “It left a mark.”

John squints his eyes and leans closer to get a good look at the scar, “I don’t see anything.”

“Right  _there_ , Jonathan.” you say and push your elbow in his face.

“Ah,” he nods and rubs his thumb over it, “ _Now_ , I see it.”

John presses a quick kiss to your elbow and winks at your mom. You shove John a little and he pulls you into a hug.

“Jerk.” you tease, and John laughs.

“Oh, these trees, I bet they’re beautiful in the summer. What kind? You seem like the type to know.” your mom says and looks around your backyard.

John nods and points at the trees, “That one is a cherry tree and the other is a magnolia. Yeah, they’re beautiful when they’re in full bloom. Smell good, too.”

“I’ll be honest, I always forget that we have a pool. Tess reminded me of it the other day when we were on the phone.” you say, pointing at the empty pool.

“Yeah, I called the guy who fills it. It’s going to be filled next weekend.” John says and winks when your mom isn’t looking.

“Oh, well, get ready for Tess to be over all the time then. She’s like a fish.” your mom laughs and walks ahead a little.

John leans close to your face and smiles, “I’m gonna fuck you in that pool.”

“ _Jonathan Wick!_ ” you push him a little and bite your lip, trying to fight the urge to jump on him.

“It’s very open, but also somehow very private.” she says as she walks into your house with John trailing behind her. “Like a glass house with all these windows.”

“Yeah, I love the natural light.” he says and leans against the back of the couch, “And it’s nice to be able to see the whole yard.”

“Oh! A piano. Jonathan, you play?” she turns around and looks at John.

“I have been meaning to ask you that,” you say, leaning against the piano, “I’ve never seen you play.”

“Well, I bought it with the intention of learning. Work just got in the way.” he turns around and smiles at you.

“Work?” you whisper as your mom walks away.

“Yeah.” he smirks and presses a kiss to your forehead quickly, “Hey mom, I’m gonna go grab your bags and put them in the guest room, we got it all fixed up for you.”

“Oh, you didn’t have to do that.” she laughs and shakes her head. “That’s very sweet of you.”

Dan is coming tomorrow for the wedding and John insisted that your mom stay with you two, which is fine with you because you get to spend more time with her.

“Yeah, John was very adamant that we buy all new sheets and everything after our sick kid fiasco.” you laugh and sit down on the couch.

“Sick kid?”

“Yeah, we babysat for Jonathan’s friend. A family emergency came up, so they dropped off their six year old and their nine month old. We had them for about a week. That’s why I couldn’t call you, sorry about that.” you say and she starts walking around the living room with Bleu following behind her. “Anyway, Benji got sick and threw up all over, so we decided to just get all new stuff for the guest bedroom.”

“I bet that was fun though, you always loved kids.” she says and starts to smile.

“Yeah, it was fun because at the end of the week, they went home.” you say and your mom gives you a peeved look. “Okay, it was really fun. Jonathan is really good with the kids, they absolutely love him. You’ll see them at the wedding.”

Your mom starts walking around the living room and picks up a picture of you and John. “Lot of pictures of the two of you and your dog.”

“Yeah…his wife was a photographer, so I think it’s rubbed off on him.”

She spins around, mouth wide open and eyes as big as buttons, “His wife? You’re not like…”

“His mistress? A home wrecker?”

“Oh, dear God…” she puts her hand over her heart and sits down in the chair, still holding the picture of you and John. “Honey, you didn’t tell me that he’s married. This…this isn’t  _right_.”

“He’s not married! You really think I’d be living here with him if he was? Do you really think I’d even do that in the first place?” you look over her shoulder as John comes back with her bags. “It’s not what you think, but I promise we’ll talk about it later.”

“Jimmy and Tess just pulled in.” he says as he places the bags in the guest bedroom.

Tess bursts through door, screaming and running to your mom. “Mom!”

They wrap their arms around each other and hug. You smile when you see how happy Tess is to see your mom. After your mom took in Tess, they grew very close, but you’ve never felt jealous though, Tess deserves it. You can’t imagine living without your mom.

You and John watch as Jimmy introduces himself, and he apologizes over and over about not being able to meet her sooner.

You feel John wrap his arm around your shoulder and you nod towards to kitchen. “Can I talk to you?”

“Yeah.”

“I fucked up.” you say as you lean against the counter.

“How so?”

“I slipped up…” you look up at John and his eyes grow wide. “No! Oh my god, no. Not  _that_. Not your job.”

He starts to laugh and stands in front of you, rubbing your shoulders. “Okay, so how did you ‘fuck up’ then?”

You take a deep breath and look at him, “I said you had a wife, and now my mom thinks I’m like…some home wrecker who ruined your marriage. And to be honest, it kind of pisses me off that my mom thinks I’d ever do something like that, but I’ll admit that I probably made it worse by how I responded.”

John tries not to laugh when he sees how hurt you are, but he does anyway. He leans back against the counter behind him and pulls you into his chest. “Did you tell her?”

“No, I didn’t know if that was something you wanted me to share with her.” you shrug and look up at him, “I think it should come from you, honestly. That’s your story to tell.”

“We can tell her, as long as you’re comfortable with it.” his lips are pressed against your forehead and you feel him smile. “A home wrecker.”

“Yeah, that’s what she wanted to call me.” you start to laugh and tilt your head back, puckering your lips.

“Well, you’re definitely not a home wrecker.” he says, then leans down to kiss you when Jimmy interrupts.

“Damn! Sorry!” he says as he starts to back out of the kitchen.

“Jimmy, you’re fine.” you and John say in unison, and John smiles at you as he leans back in to kiss you quickly.

“Okay, sorry.” he laughs.

You’re leaning against John and he tightens his grip on you to keep you in place, so you wrap your arms back around him and lay your head on his chest.

“I like your mom.” Jimmy laughs and leans against the counter, “She calls me James.”

“She calls me Jonathan all the time.” John says and hugs you tighter.

“Yeah, my mom prefers to call people by their full name, I don’t know why.” you stand up straight, but John keeps his hands on your waist, “So, are you nervous for tomorrow?”

“A little. Just want Tess to be happy. She’s uh, telling your mom about…” he gestures to his stomach and pats it.

“Oh, gosh. I need to see this.” Walking back into the living room, you see Tess and your mom weeping in each others arms and you quickly turn back around. “Never mind, I think they need to do this alone.” you hop onto the counter and look at Jimmy. “So, I can’t wait to meet some more of your family.

“Yeah, they’re pretty loud, so hopefully we won’t have any noise complaints.” Jimmy laughs and looks at John.

“Well, if they’re loud, then they probably love Tess.” you laugh and stretch your legs out in front of John. He leans back against the counter and you snuggle into his back as you wrap your arms around him. He’s warm and smells so good, and you feel yourself melting into his back.

“I hope everything turns out right and that Tess is happy. We don’t want to fuss around with the whole ceremony thing. We want just our family and close friends for the ceremony. We say our vows, you sign the marriage license, then we party.” he laughs and starts dancing in place.

“Yes! I want to see this one drunk and dancing.” you point to John and laugh.

John starts to laugh and shakes his head, “Not gonna happen.”

“Well, you gotta at least dance with your girl.” Jimmy says, lightly punching John’s arm.

_Your girl. So cute._

“Yeah, you gotta dance with me!” you wiggle against his back and lean forward to get a good look at him. “Please, please, please.”

He jokingly rolls his eyes and laughs, leaning over to kiss you, “Fine.”

You turn to Jimmy and high five him, letting out victorious laugh, “I win!”

“Hey, I was wondering with it being the night before our wedding and all…” Jimmy voices trails off and you laugh. “Tess is dead set on me not seeing her before the wedding, she doesn’t even want me to stay at the apartment.”

“You can stay here.” John says and looks over his shoulder at you, “We don’t mind.”

“We just got a new bed for our other spare room, too. You’ll have to let us know if it’s any good.”

“You can all come out now.” Tess calls out and you all file into the living room.

“Oh! I brought some pictures of you two.” your mom says and heads into the guest bedroom to grab them.

John sits in the chair and taps his knee for you to sit down. He looks up at Tess and smiles, “So, how did mom take the news?”

“She’s very happy.” she says and runs her finger down her cheek, mimicking a tear. “Very emotional. That’s where  _she_  gets it.”

“Hey! Leave me out of this.” you say and wiggle back into John’s arms.

Your mom comes back into the room with a large envelope of pictures and sits down between Jimmy and Tess, “I figured James would like to see pictures of you as baby.”

“Oh, my god.” Tess laughs loudly and shows the picture to you, “Do you remember this?”

It’s a picture of you and Tess in Halloween costumes, both are grinning from ear to ear. You grab the picture from Tess and John starts to laugh loudly.

“You were a cat?”

“Every year for about five years.” your mom says, laughing and looking through more pictures. “And I begged her  _every_  year to go as something else, but there was no changing her mind on that damn cat costume. Very stubborn, that one.”

“Oh, I’m  _well_  aware of her stubbornness.” John says and hugs you tighter.

“I forgot all about our gymnastics days. John, look at this.” Tess says and hands him a picture of you from high school.

“What? You’ve never told me any of this stuff.” he pulls back and frowns, “Why didn’t you tell me any of this?”

“I don’t know. Gotta keep a little mystery.” you joke, which makes John laugh since he knows almost every detail about you.

“I remember getting a call from the school and I hurried down there thinking something was wrong with one of the girls, I prayed like hell that they were okay. I get into the principal’s office and I see the two of them. Tess had dirt all over her face, her jeans had a big hole in them and this one,” she points at you and laughs, “She was  _covered_  in dirt and had a band-aid on her knee with huge tears running down her face.”

“What happened?” Jimmy asks, fully intrigued.

You start to laugh a little and look down at John as he leans forward, waiting for your mom to finish the story.

“Well, I had recently put them in gymnastics and they had been to about three lessons. The two of them thought they knew everything, so they decided to do flips on the monkey bars. Little show offs. They both fell and–”

“We got our recess privileges taken away for a week, so unfair. But on top of it, we couldn’t even spend recess in the same room for detention.” Tess crosses her arms and frowns. “Because apparently we were ‘too much trouble’ together.”

“Keep in mind, this was when they were in…fourth grade, I believe.” your mom says, shaking her head.

“You had your hands full, mom.” John laughs and looks up at you, “Little troublemaker.”

“Yeah, that definitely wasn’t the first time I got calls from the school. I will admit some of the calls were a little ridiculous. I got a call once that Tess was in trouble, and so I got down there as quick as I could.”

“Oh, my god. Is that when Tess had put play-doh in that girl’s hair?” you laugh and Tess puts her hand over her mouth as she gasps.

“I was  _terrible_.” she says and looks over at Jimmy, “I promise I’m not mean anymore. Someone was picking on her and I needed to stand up for my little sister, couldn’t let that happen again. So…I taught her a lesson: don’t fuck with us.”

“Tess, we were  _seven_.” you laugh.

Your mom starts to laugh and pats Tess’ cheek, “Always the protective big sister.”

You laugh to yourself and look back at John as he looks through more pictures. Your mom purposely brought a ton of baby pictures, of course. John grabs a picture of you from second grade and holds it up to your face, comparing it to you now. You look at the picture and copy the same goofy smile you had on your face.

“God, you’re so cute.” he grabs another picture of you and laughs, “Senior pictures?”

“Oh, my god, yeah.” you take the picture from John and look it over, “My graduation pictures.”

“You were a heart breaker, weren’t you?” John cocks up his eyebrow and laughs.

“Oh, hardly.”

“Not true!” Tess says, then laughs, “There was Blake, Tony, Jeremy, Bryan, and…what was his damn name?”

“Andrew!” your mom chimes in and laughs.

“Yes! Andrew! He was… _obsessed_.” Tess laughs.

John looks at you and laughs, “I thought you only had one boyfriend.”

“She did, but those were all the boys that constantly asked about her. A few of them still ask about you all the time. Anytime I post a picture of her on  _any_ form of social media, they flock.”

You roll your eyes, “They’re just teasing. None of this true.”

“She’s lying, John.” Tess says without looking up from the pictures in her hand.

John leans closer to your ear and whispers, “I’ve seen the comments on your pictures.”

You look up at your mom who is deep in discussion with Jimmy over a picture and you lean closer to John’s face, “Well, I’m all yours so it doesn’t matter.”

“Good.” he says, pressing his lips to your cheek.

“Look at this!” you laugh and hold up a picture of you and Tess in front of your house, “This was the first day we moved in.”

“Our house is in the back.” John laughs.

“Weird to think that you could just be sitting in here when this picture was taken.”

“I probably was,” he laughs, “I didn’t do much until I met you. Well, aside from work, of course.”

You pull back and cup John’s face, pressing your lips to his several times. From the corner of your eye, you can see your mom watching the two of you. You wrap your arm around John’s neck and clear your throat, “So, mom…”

John laughs and points at you, “She’s not a home wrecker. I  _was_  married.”

Jimmy immediately stands up and looks over at Tess, “We shouldn’t be here for this.”

“It’s okay.” you say.

Tess pulls him back down on the couch and props her head up on her hands, looking at John in curiosity. Your mom looks at them in confusion, then looks back at you and John.

John tightens his grip on you and smiles, “I was married for five years, and they were some of the best years of my life, but she was…sick.”

“Oh, no.” your mom gasps and covers her mouth.

“She passed away, and I was…” John stops talking and you hug him into your chest, patting his cheek.

“It’s okay, John.” you whisper and he looks up at you. “It’s okay. That’s all you need to say.”

John clears his throat and shakes his head, “I was very much in love with my wife, but…we knew that it was inevitable, and she unfortunately passed away.”

You look over at your mom and she still has her hand over her mouth and her eyes are full of tears. John bounces you on his knee to get your attention and you smile at him as you rub his back, comforting him.

“I didn’t want to date anyone after she passed, I had no intentions of it. But _someone_ …” he says and you both look at Jimmy, “Kept insisting that I go out on dates.”

“Just trying to help you out, man.” Jimmy laughs and your mom pats his leg.

“None of my dates worked out, they were terrible and I was about to give up.” he looks up at you and smiles, “Then, I just happened to be taking Bleu for a walk one day, and I saw the most beautiful girl and I  _knew_ I needed to talk to her, I knew I needed to have her in my life.”

“Okay…” Tess scoffs and rolls her eyes.

John looks at you and squeezes you tight in his arms, “I really had no intentions of ever falling in love again, but I did instantly with her.” John’s eyes dart over your face and he pulls you close to kiss him, then looks over to your mom, “I just want you to know that I  _really_  love your daughter.”

“Oh, stop it.” you laugh and slap his shoulder, “She knows.”

You hear someone hiccup and someone else sniffle loudly, and you look up to see both your mom and Tess in tears, and even Jimmy is wiping away a tear too.

“That is so cute, I wanna die!” Tess says and puts her hands over her face. “You love her so much, I’m literally sobbing. I know I give you shit, but…this is so sweet.”

You get off of John’s lap and your mom instantly moves to hug you, “I am  _so_  sorry. I never actually thought you did that. I just…”

“It’s okay.” you say and let go of your mom so she can hug John.

“I’m so sorry for your loss, that must have been horrible.” she hugs John tight and wipes away her tears.

“Yeah, I had a rough couple of years.” he says and Jimmy fails to hold in a laugh. John reaches out for your hand, pulling you to hug him. “It was all worth it though. Because in the end, I got her.”

“Gross.” you tease and John kisses the top of your head.

“Hey, you should feel flattered.” Tess says, pointing at you.

“Why?”

“Mom thinks you could steal a married man.” she laughs.

“Go home, Tess.” you say, shaking your head.

“Oh yeah, make me go home and sit all by myself while you and mom hang out, and John and Jimmy go out to do their bachelor party thing. No, I’m staying here.” she says and plops back down on the couch, crossing her arms.

“Glad to see you still pout.” your mom sits next to Tess and pats her cheek.

Jimmy leans down to kiss Tess’ cheek and laughs, “All the time.”

“Oh, John…I have, uh, a really important question, and I’m not sure how to ask it.” Tess says, nervously.

“Okay.” he nods. “Do we need to talk in private? We can go in my office.”

“No, no, we can talk about it here. I want everyone to be included in this.”

Everyone sits back down and John pulls you back into his lap. Tess looks incredibly nervous, which is so unlike her, and Jimmy reaches out for her hand to reassure her and he kisses her on the cheek.

“Uh, well, as you know…I don’t have parents.” she swallows hard and starts to tear up, “Um, so I obviously don’t have anyone to…walk me down the aisle.”

You put your hand over your heart and tears prick your eyes. When you look down at John, he’s smiling already.

“I could have mom walk me down the aisle, but I don’t think she’d make it.” she laughs.

Your mom starts to laugh and shakes her head, “Oh, no. I definitely wouldn’t. I would be honored, but I want to  _see_ you walk down the aisle.”

“John, you’re like my big brother now, and I…” she jokingly rolls her eyes and laughs, “I love you or whatever. And I know this is such short notice and please say no if you don’t want to, but…” she covers her face with her hands and exhales loudly. She looks up at John and smiles, “Will you walk me down the aisle?”

“Of course, I’d be honored.” he says and you get off his lap so he can hug Tess. He hugs her tight and presses a kiss to the top of her head as she cries. He whispers something to her and she starts to cry even harder.

Jimmy looks over at you and smiles, “Get over here!”

Laughing, you walk over and hug Jimmy tight. He lets go and immediately hugs Tess again as you move over to stand next to John. He wraps his arms around you from behind and kisses your temple.

“You all love each other so much,” your mom says, watching the four of you, “I’m so happy my girls have good men to watch out over them.”

“Eh, they’re okay.” you laugh.

“Kind of annoying, honestly. They’re just  _so_  obsessed with us.” Tess jokes, wiping the tears from her face, “Aren’t you two supposed to be going somewhere?”

“Should we head out now?” John turns and asks Jimmy.

“I’m cool with that.” Jimmy nods.

“Let me just go get changed.” John says and without thinking, you follow him into your bedroom. You wrap your arms around his waist as he shuts the door and he starts to laugh, “You’re clingy today.”

“Oh, sorry.” you let go of John and lay down on the bed as John crawls on top of you. You wrap your legs around his waist and he cups your face.

“I love it.” he says, pressing kisses to your face, “I love it when you get like this.”

“I want you to go out and have fun, I do. I just…” you sigh loudly, “I just know that as soon as you leave, my mom is going to ask me ten million questions.”

“Ten million? That’s quite a lot of questions.” he laughs and looks at his watch, “Do you think she’ll even have time, or should I stay out longer?”

“John.” you groan and sit up, not in the mood for his jokes, but he’s only trying to make you feel better. He pulls you back down and hovers above you.

“She’s not going to ask you ten million questions, mouse.” he says, pushing the hair out of your face. “I wanted you and Tess to be able to spend some time with your mom. I know you both miss her a lot, I honestly think you should start flying out to see her more. You and Tess.”

“I’ve been thinking about it too, but…” you shrug, “I don’t know. I’ll have to think about it more. Have a better talk with you and Tess about it.”

He leans down close to your face and smiles, “I love you.”

“I love you, too.” you move to get off the bed and turn around to John, “Don’t have too much fun without me tonight.”

John laughs and shakes his head, “I won’t.”

__

The one thing you always forget about your mom: she talks through movies. She puts her empty plate on the coffee table and turns to you, still telling you and Tess about a vacation her and Dan have been planning for two years.

“Thankfully, this trip didn’t set me back any. Jonathan called and he–”

“Wait, Jonathan paid for your ticket here?” you sit up and look at your mom.

“…Yeah.” she slowly nods, “He told me not to tell you, he knew you’d do this.”

“I’m not doing anything.” you laugh and look at the TV, “It’s not like a ticket for you put us out or anything. I just wish I would have known.”

“He has a lot of money, doesn’t he?”

“He’s loaded.” Tess says as she stuffs pizza into her mouth and you slap her arm. “Ouch! Hey, I’m pregnant, I have no filter.”

 “You never have a filter.” you start to laugh and turn your focus back to your mom, “Why are parents always so blunt?”

“I’m just wondering.” she looks around your house, then back to you, “This house is  _very_  extravagant, you know?”

“I’m aware. Jonathan is just…fortunate to have a really good job.” you say, avoiding eye contact with your mom.

“Bookbinding can pay for all this?” she says, gesturing wildly. “The tennis court, the amazing piano, the jewelry you’re wearing.”

You sigh and shake your head, unable to find the words. You look up at your mom and shrug, “I…I guess.”

“Honey…I don’t believe that.”

_She knows. She knows his job, she knows you’re lying._

You and Tess look at each other and she shrugs, not giving you any help. You shake your head again and open your mouth to talk when your phone goes off. “I’m sorry, it’s Jonathan. I’ll be right back.”

You quickly grab your phone and head to the back porch to talk in peace.  _Saved._

“Hi, baby.” you say as you sit down on the steps.

“Hey, how’s it going?”

“Oh, wonderful.” you say, full of sarcasm, “Just beginning the grilling session with my mom. What about you?”

“Thrilling session?” he asks and you hear a crowd of people in the background. “What did you say?”

“The grilling _…grilling_ …” you sigh when you realize John still can’t hear you.

“Hey, can you hear me now? I’m outside.”

“Yes, I’ll just talk to you when you get home.” you say and stand up to go back inside. “I love you.”

“Oh…uh, okay. I love you.”

You hang up and stand with your hand on the doorknob for a moment, trying to figure out how the hell you’re going to explain John’s job. Your mom is a pretty understanding person, you got that from her. But how are you going to explain that John kills people, and yes, that would _technically_ make him a bad guy, he’s still a good guy?

You open the door and drag yourself back to the living room – back to your mom. You plop down on the couch and your mom looks at you.

“Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, I don’t know why he even called. We couldn’t hear each other.” you laugh and place your phone back on the table. “They’re obviously having a very good time.”

“Yeah, Jimmy just sent me a picture. Look at John,” Tess says and hands her phone to you. Jimmy is grinning from ear to ear and John is looking at the camera with a blank stare. “He’s so done with Jimmy already.”

“They seem to get along pretty well, don’t they?” your mom asks, leaning forward so she can see Tess.

“Oh, Jimmy  _loves_  John. Talks about him all the time. I think it’s mostly because Jimmy is an only child and John is like a brother to him. I know they’ve gotten a lot closer since we’ve all been dating.” she says and you look over at her. “Jimmy really admires John, to be honest. He talks about what a good guy he is all the time, and he’s so happy that John found you.”

You smile at Tess and shrug, not knowing what to say. When you look at your mom, she’s still waiting for an explanation about John’s job. “Oh, we’re still on the whole job thing?”

Your mom nods and puts her hands in her lap, “Yeah.”

“He has a very good job, mom. I don’t know what you want me to say.”

“What  _is_  his job?” she ask, bluntly.

“Why does it even matter?”

“You’re really not making this any better.” Tess chimes in and you roll your eyes at her.

You shake your head and rub your hands over your face, “I can’t tell you and even if I could tell you, it needs to come from John, not me.”

She gasps loudly and nods, “I get it…FBI.”

Tess bursts out laughing and covers her face with a pillow, “Oh, my god.”

“Is that what you think?” you laugh and pray that’s what she thinks.

“FBI, or something along those lines, otherwise you would tell me.” she pretends to zip her lips and throw away the key, “I won’t say a word. Not even to Jonathan.”

“Thank you.”

“Will you tell her eventually?” Tess asks.

“Wait, you know?” your mom looks appalled and crosses her arms, “You told  _her,_  but not your own mother.”

“No…” you turn to Tess, silently scolding her, “Jimmy told her, and then she told me that she knew.”

“Okay, well, I trust him.” she says, nodding and smiling, “He’d protect you if anything happened, he made that very clear to me when I met him. Plus that makes sense why him and James are so close, they probably work together.”

“Not quite in the same… _area_  of the law.” you say under your breath and Tess laughs.

After a few minutes, your mom clears her throat and you look over at her, “Are you two going to get married?”

“ _Mom!_ ” you exhale loudly and take the empty plates from the table, heading for the kitchen.

“What about kids? You always wanted kids. You said you always wanted a daughter, you had names picked out and everything.” she says, following behind you into the kitchen with Tess on her heels.

“Mom, I was a little kid when I said all that stuff.”

“We did have that whole book, which is going to help me when I gotta name this little goober.” Tess says, looking at her belly.

“Well, are you going to have kids?” your mom asks again and you take a deep breath.

“I don’t know.” you say and put the plates in the sink. “ _We_ don’t know. He hasn’t even proposed to me. I mean I don’t care if we’re married before we have kids, because I know I’m going to be with him forever, but…”

“He asked for my blessing.” she blurts out, and you turn around to face your mom and see she’s smiling, “When you came home for Christmas.”

“I knew it! I fucking knew it!” Tess says, dancing in place, “I  _knew_ it!”

“What?” you furrow your brow and cross your arms, “What did he say?”

“He loves you  _very_  much, and he’s very grateful for you.” she reaches out to cup your face and kisses your cheek. “You have no idea how much you mean to him.”

“He does want to marry me?” you ask in disbelief.

You know John wants to marry you, he’s told you many times. But knowing that he asked your mom for her blessing puts everything into focus, and you feel butterflies in your stomach at the thought of marrying John.

“He wants to marry me.” you say again and laugh.

“Obviously, baby. Why else would he have asked for my blessing?” she laughs and pats your cheek before heading into the living room.

“You’re getting married.” Tess slaps your ass and dances out of the kitchen behind your mom, leaving you alone as a smile spreads across your face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like always, this was also posted on tumblr, so like/reblog/comment [here](https://johnsbleu.tumblr.com/post/184260888259/hold-my-hand-john-wick-reader-chapter-45)


	46. Chapter 46

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **warnings:** nsfw

You flop around on the bed in the dark and sigh loudly. You're not the one getting married tomorrow, but you're still nervous and you’re hoping like hell nothing goes wrong. John is still out with Jimmy and you look up to check the time, 12:39 AM. _Another big sigh_.

Bleu is at the foot of the bed and he perks up, hearing noises coming from downstairs. He stands up and wags his tail as John slowly opens the door, tiptoeing and trying to be as quiet as possible so he doesn’t wake you up.

“Hey, buddy.” he whispers and kisses Bleu on top of his head, “Hope you were a good boy while I was gone.”

Your face is hidden by the blanket and you smile to yourself when you hear John talking to Bleu. __He’s so fucking cute,__ you think to yourself and pretend you’re still sleeping just in case John keeps talking to Bleu.

John quietly heads into the bathroom and moments later, he emerges in just his boxers and even in those alone, you can see the huge bulge he’s always hiding. He heads over to the sliding door and opens it, stepping out onto the balcony with Bleu. You get off the bed and peek your head out the door, watching John as he looks out across the backyard.

“Babe? Hey, are you okay?” you ask, worry in your voice.

“Hey, baby.” he smiles as he turns around, reaching out for you, “I didn’t wake you up, did I?”

You wrap your arms around John’s waist and smile up at him, “No, Tess left about an hour ago, and I was waiting for you to get home before I went to sleep.”

“Sorry, I didn’t think we’d be out so late.”

“It’s okay.” you snuggle into his arms and he presses a kiss to the top of your head.

“It’s warm out tonight.” he says and leans over the ledge to look at the backyard. The garden lights are on and the backyard looks quiet and serene. “I think tomorrow is going to be the perfect night. I tested out the patio lights before I came up, it’s going to look beautiful.”

“I hope so.” you sigh and John looks down at you.

“So, how was your night?” he asks and sits down on the patio chair, pulling you into his lap.

“It was fine. We watched a movie, well, _ _attempted__  to watch a movie, my mom talked the whole time. Wanted to know all about you and I. Our relationship, our future, if we’re getting married, if we’re having kids, __everything__.” you sigh loudly and lean back against John, playing with his fingers, “Moms are exhausting. She means well, but gosh.”

“She’s just being a mom. You’d do the same if our daughter was living with someone.”

“I would, but __you__  would be so much worse.” you laugh and John nods in agreement. “You’d probably have Jimmy do a whole background check on them or something.”

“Yeah, I’d just want her to be safe. Also, I can find way more information than Jimmy can.”

“Well, please promise me that you’ll never pull a shotgun out and threaten the poor child when they try to take our daughter to prom.” you say and you both start to laugh.

He nods, “I promise.”

“Also, uh…” you swallow hard and look at John, “She wanted to know about your job. She said there was no way that you got all of this from bookbinding. ”

John looks up at you worriedly, “What did you say?”

“I just said that you have a really good job and that we’re really fortunate. And somehow she took that as you…working for the FBI.”

John stares at you for a moment then starts to laugh, “She thinks I work for the FBI?”

“Something along the lines of the FBI, yeah.” you laugh and lean forward to kiss John. “Tess was __no__  help at all. She just laughed.”

“I’m surprised she didn’t blurt it out.” he laughs.

You play with the edge of your shirt and look up at John, “Is that okay…that I said that? I mean it would help explain why you’re gone sometimes, and why you sometimes come home with cuts and bruises.”

John laughs again and shrugs, “Yeah, it works.”

“You’re not mad at me, are you?” you frown a little and John squeezes you tight in his arms. “I’m not good at coming up with shit like you are.”

John cocks up an eyebrow and laughs, “What does that mean?”

“You came up with a lie every time you left for work before I knew everything, and you made it seem so…effortless.” you shrug and look at him, “I could never do that.”

John gets quiet and looks down at his hand on your thigh. He takes a deep breath and nods, “Yeah.”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to like…imply that lying to me was easy for you, I’m sure it wasn’t. I __know__  it wasn’t.” you cover your face with your hands and sigh loudly, “Just forget I said anything.”

“Hey,” he removes your hands from you face and smiles, “You did perfect. What else did she ask?”

“Oh, uh…” you dodge John’s gaze quickly and shrug, “Just about work.”

“You’re such a liar.” he laughs, tickling your side, “What else did she ask?”

“She asked if we were going get married and if we were going to have kids.” you say and decide to leave out that she told you that John asked for her blessing.

“Oh.” he says and taps your arm to get you to stand up. You rest your back against the ledge of the balcony and John stands in front of you, “Did you tell her yes?”

“I just told her that we don’t know.” you say and look up at John.

John furrows his brow and tilts his head, “You don’t know if we’re getting married?”

“I mean…” you shrug as a smile spreads across your face, “You haven’t asked me yet, so…”

“Subtle.” he laughs and leans forward to kiss you.

“Hey, why did you call me tonight?”

“Just wanted to check up on you and hear your voice, which only backfired since I couldn’t hear anything in there.” John nods to the bedroom and he wraps his arms around your waist as you walk back into the bedroom.

He turns around to close the sliding door, but when he sees Bleu laying on the balcony, he leaves it open enough for him to come in when he’s ready. You crawl back into bed, and John finally notices your pajamas and laughs.

“My shirt __again__. I really need to buy you your own pack of t-shirts. You’re hoarding all my good ones.” he laughs and scoots in next to you, fixing the blankets.

“No, I like __your__  shirts. I don’t want my own. These shirts always smell like you and they…they always make feel better when you’re gone.” you frown and John starts to laugh.

“I’m not leaving anytime soon, so you don’t need to worry about that.”

You start to smile again as John pulls you closer, “So, how was your night? Did you have fun?”

“Yeah, we stopped by Aurelio’s shop, then we all went out to the bar. Jimmy got completely drunk, sang some karaoke.” he laughs.

“You sang karaoke?” you sit up and look at John.

He shakes his head and pulls you back down to him, “No, I wasn’t drunk enough for that. I had a drink or two -- I was fine to drive, don’t worry, but I practically had to carry Jimmy into the guest room.” he laughs and looks down at you, “Hey, are you okay?”

“Why wouldn’t I be okay?”

“I don’t know, I was just gone longer than I wanted to be.” he says and tangles his legs with yours, “I know you’re nervous about tomorrow, hoping everything will go as planned and I wanted to be here with you.”

You sigh deeply and stretch out, looking up at the ceiling, “Yeah. It’s just her wedding, you know? I just want everything to go as planned and just be…smooth and perfect for them.”

“It’ll be perfect. We got the DJ, we got the photographer, the food will be good, they picked a really good place to cater. The lights on the patio look really nice. Stop worrying about everything, peach.”

“I know, I know.” you look over at John, watching a smile spread across his face.

“I can’t wait see you in your dress again.” he says, staring at you in awe and leans over to kiss you, “You’re going to look so beautiful.”

“I can’t wait to watch you walk Tess down the aisle. That really killed me when she asked you.” you press your hand over your heart and smile.

“Did you know?”

You shake your head, “No, I really had no idea she was going to ask. I mean I know she considers you to be like a brother to her, but we never even talked about this before, so I thought she was just going to walk down the aisle by herself, or maybe ask Dan.”

“Think he’ll be upset?”

You shake your head again and look over at John, “No, he’s literally the nicest man on this planet, aside from you, of course.” you say and John lets out a small laugh. “I think my mom and him understand that it’s just us here. Tess and I only have you and Jimmy.”

“That’s true.” he nods.

“I really missed you tonight.”

“I missed you, too.” John says, reaching out to hold your hand.

“I hate that we haven’t had any time for just the two of us lately.” you sigh loudly, almost on the verge of tears and John looks over at you. “I feel like I haven’t been alone with you in forever. We’ve just been so fucking busy.”

“I know, but at least we’ve __been__  together. We still got to sleep together every night and spend all day together.” he pulls your hand up to his mouth and presses a few kisses to it.

“It’s not the same though, I wanna be with you… _ _alone__.” you sigh and look over at John, “I shouldn’t complain though. We’ve been together and that’s what matters.”

“You’re going to regret saying this when everyone is gone.” he laughs.

“Yeah, I know.” you say quietly and start to laugh, “Hey, at least I won’t have a little kid’s foot digging into my back any time soon.”

“Benji really sprawled out the other night, didn’t he?” John laughs and rolls on his side to face you, “I had a lot of fun watching them with you. I definitely wouldn’t have known what to do when Benji got sick, and I wouldn’t have known how to entertain two kids.”

“You would have figured it out.” you laugh.

“That’s not true.”

“You would have just called whoever you were dating.” you say and look over at John, “Probably your favorite girl, uh, what was her name again? The one you who had the really bad date with.”

“Rachel.”

You snap your fingers, “Rachel!”

“Actually, I called her first. Guess she was busy.” John jokes and you open your mouth in shock as you both begin to laugh.

“Still wanna hear about that horrible date, by the way.” you say and John laughs quietly.

“A story for another night.”

“Is it weird if I admit that I kinda miss them? The kids, I mean.” you roll over and scoot close to John’s face. His breath smells like whiskey, but it makes you feel warm. “The house is so quiet now, and just having them around was really fun.”

“Well, we’ll get to see them tomorrow.” he says and laughs, “I can’t wait to see Harper in a little dress.”

“I know, she’s gonna look adorable, and I bet Benji will look so handsome in a little suit.”

You and John stare at each other, taking in how effortlessly you’ve worked kids into tonight’s conversations. He reaches out, touching your cheek and leans in to kiss you.

“We have a busy day tomorrow, we should probably get some sleep.” he yawns.

“Yeah, probably.” you say and roll onto your back, still holding John’s hand.

John leans over to kiss you and presses a kiss to your hand again, “I love you.”

“I love you, too.” you say and stare at the ceiling.

__

It’s been about an hour since John fell asleep and you’re still wide awake staring at the ceiling. John still has a tight grip on your hand and you slowly untangle your fingers, and he rolls over on his side with his back to you. You sit up a little to check the clock and sigh, __Yup, it’s been hour.__

As quietly as you can, you let out another small sigh and flop around on the bed, and you reach over to grab your phone. You scroll through your phone, checking your Instagram feed, and you smile when you see Aurelio has posted a picture of him and John. It’s a little blurry, but he still looks handsome as hell. You decide to leave a nice comment on it and lock your phone.

John shifts in a place a little and you freeze, waiting for him to fall back sleep. You place your phone back on your side table and lean over his shoulder, trying to get a good look at his face. His eyes are closed and his lips are slightly parted, his breathing is even and you have to admit; he looks like an angel.

“John?” you whisper.

“Yeah?” he replies, and his voice is quiet but deep.

“Uh, are you awake?”

“Obviously,” he lets out a small laugh, “I can't sleep with you flopping around.”

“Oh...sorry.” you say quietly like a child who has just gotten in trouble.

Suddenly, you're incredibly uncomfortable and need to flop around some more. You hop off the bed and lay on the floor, sprawling across the rug.

The room floods with light as John turns on the lamp, and he sits up and starts laughing. “What are you doing down there?”

“I can't sleep.”

“Neither can I. Get back up here.” he says, a smiling spreading across his face, “Did you really think laying on the floor would help you sleep?”

“No, but all my flopping around wouldn’t bother you.” you say as you crawl back into bed. 

“You weren’t bothering me, I __was__  waiting for you to start talking to me again though.” he laughs and lays on his back as you lay down next to him. He reaches over to turn off the light and the room goes dark again.

You snuggle into John’s arms and inhale his cologne, “You smell good.”

“I do?”

“Mhm.” you practically moan when his hand dives under the blanket and lands on your thigh. His warm hand is such a contrast to your cold skin and you shiver.

“Can I help you sleep?” he asks, his thumb rubbing over your knee.

“How are you gonna help? You gonna sing to me?” you look up at him and he licks his lips, sliding his hand between your legs onto your thigh. “ _ _Oh__. Yeah, you can help.”

John leans close to your face and you cup his cheek in your hand as you slide your tongue into his mouth. He hugs you tighter as he runs his hand up your thigh and he pulls back when he realizes you're not wearing underwear. You tilt your head back to look at him and when your eyes meet, you smile proudly.

“You’re not wearing any underwear.”

“Nope.” you pull your shirt up more and John’s left hand slides between your legs.

“You little sneak.” he leans down, kissing you mercilessly.

“Mmm, I missed your hands on me tonight.” you say in between kisses.

“ _ _I__ missed my hands on you, thought about you all night. Kinda wished you would have come out with us.”

“Oh, just kinda?” you laugh.

“No, I __really__  wish you would have come out with us, even Jimmy said he wished Tess was there.” he says and smiles when you look at him. “I really missed you.”

As John slowly inserts his fingers, your eyes roll shut and you cover your mouth. You nod your head and squint your eyes open to look at John, “I missed you, too.”

From the moonlight spilling into the room, he can see you and he moans watching his fingers sliding over your pussy, “You’re so wet for me.”

“As soon as I saw you come out of the bathroom with just your boxers on, I knew there was __no way__  I was going to bed until you touched me.”

“You could have said something an hour ago.” he laughs and leans down to kiss you.

“I know, but you were tired.” you close your eyes, spreading your legs further as John rubs circles on your clit.

“Never too tired to touch you though.” He looks at the door and jumps up quickly to lock it. When he turns around, he freezes in place as you pull your shirt off and caress your breasts. “You're __killing__  me.”

“We don't have to have sex, we can just… _ _fool around__.” you wiggle your eyebrows and he climbs back into bed, tackling you. You lean up to kiss him and giggle loudly when he rubs his beard against your neck.

“Shh...” he presses his finger to your lips and you open your mouth to suck on it. “Taste yourself?”

“Yup.” you nod and watch as John sucks on his fingers.

He starts to laugh and rubs his beard against your neck again. You try to squirm away from him, but he lays on top of you to keep you in place. You tug at his boxers and he quickly kicks them off. “So, what do you want?”

“Um...” you lay back again and he hovers over you, “What are my options?”

“Well,” John leans down, kissing over your chest and smiles, “Whatever you want. I’ll do anything. Whatever __you__  want, baby.”

“Whoa, cool it down with all the options.” you laugh. His hand is on your stomach and you grab it, moving it lower. “Let’s start with this.”

“Okay.” he smiles and spreads your legs. He licks his fingers and starts rubbing your clit slowly.

As he inserts one finger, you cover your mouth, “More...more, baby.” you let out a small moan in the palm of your hand as John inserts another finger, “Your fingers are so thick, fuck.”

“You feel...” he moans when your fingers wrap around his cock and you begin stroking him slowly. He looks down to watch and moans again, this time a little louder.

“I feel like what?” you laugh when you see his mouth hanging open.

“You feel like heaven.” he looks at you and smiles. He flicks his fingers and you ground down on them and slowly rotate your hips. “I want to try something.”

“Ooh, kinky.” you say, teasing.

“Stop.” he laughs.

He hops off the bed and grabs the chair near the window, then places it in front of the floor length mirror on the wall. He sits down and slap his thighs, “Have a seat.”

You turn on the lamp and laugh, “I thought we weren't having sex.”

“I never said I didn't want to have sex.” he whispers and points to the floor, “Your mom and Jimmy are right under us, you gotta be quiet.”

You get off the bed and walk over to John, then sit in his lap, “You just wanna watch?”

He scoots you back in the most awkward position, but he seems to enjoy it so you go along. Slowly, he rubs circles on your clit and you feel yourself growing wetter by the second. You start stroking him again and he moans against your arm, pressing kisses to your skin.

“Fuck this.” he picks you up and lays you back on the bed, then crawls back on top of you, burying himself inside of you with one hard thrust. When your gazes meet, he smiles and you reach up to bring his lips to yours.

“I knew you wouldn't last.” you whisper in his ear and he jerks his hips.

“I'm not going to last __now__.” he laughs and sucks on your neck.

He lifts your leg up and hoists it over his shoulder, moving in deeper. He rotates his hips in a way he’s never done before and you widen your eyes.

“You've never done __this__  before.” you smile and cover your face with your hands as he continues. “Rotating your hips like this, in this position.”

“Feel good?”

“So good. Keep doing it.” you moan quietly into your hand.

“You're so flexible.” he laughs and presses a kiss to your knee, “It's hot. How long did you do gymnastics?”

You close your eyes and open your mouth to moan as John thrusts deeper. You grab at his biceps, squeezing lightly to silently tell him to slow down. If he goes too fast, you’ll come too soon and you __definitely__ don’t want that right now. John seems to know what you want and he slows down.

You open your eyes again, blinking at John a few times and smile, “Um…what were talking about?”

“Gymnastics.”

“Oh, yeah…my mom put Tess and I in gymnastics when we were little because we had so much energy and she just had enough of us. I continued with it until high school. Tess quit in middle school.”

“So, you can like…do the splits, kick your leg up high and stuff?” he asks and leans down with your leg still over his shoulder, kissing your breast and testing your flexibility.

“My leg is literally over your shoulder right now, John. Yes, I can do the splits and __stuff__.”

John presses another kiss to your leg and he looks back at you, “That's so fucking hot. Of course I’ll need to see more of it.”

“Oh, yeah, definitely. My leg over your shoulder isn’t enough, you gotta have more proof.” you say jokingly and John laughs.

Beads of sweat are forming on John's forehead and his thrusts are getting harder. You moan loudly and John immediately presses his hand over your mouth to quiet it. He moves your other leg over his shoulder as his thrusts become deep and hard. The bed slowly starts to creak louder and louder to John’s horror, and he completely stops moving.

“Nooo, keep going.” you whisper.

“Your mom is going to know.” he says and moves your legs down from his shoulders.

“She's a heavy sleeper, I __promise__  she won't know. ” you shake your head fast and grab at his ass, trying to make him move. “John!”

“What about Jimmy? He’s right down there, too.”

“He’s passed out drunk. He’s not going to wake up and hear us.” John still won't move, so you shove him off and crawl on top of him, “Fine, then I'll do all the work.”

You grind down hard on him and his breath gets caught in his throat, “Baby, I can't.”

“Yes, you can.” you say, leaning close to his face and kissing him all over. When you see John staring at you, you start to get off of him. “Okay, I’ll get off of you.”

“No!” he whispers loudly and holds you in place.

“Well, you obviously don’t want to have sex.” you laugh.

John shakes his head and caresses your hips, moving his hands to your ass. “I do! I do, it’s just…your mom is __right__  there.”

“She’s not going to hear us, I promise.” you smile at John and lean down to kiss him. “Come on, John. I want you, baby.”

“That’s unfair. You know I’m going to give you what you want.”

“So give me what I want.” you say and he holds you in place, thrusting hard a few times as he moans. You pull him to sit up and your mouths meet for a wet kiss. “Thank you.”

“It’s gonna be hard to keep my hands to myself tomorrow. Seeing you in that dress at the bridal shop almost killed me, so I can’t imagine what it’ll be like tomorrow when you’re all fixed up.” he says, then closes his eyes as you slowly grind against him. “You always look so beautiful, but knowing I can’t have you tomorrow is going to be so hard for me.”

The two of you hold tight to each other as you buck your hips together, moaning quietly and breathlessly in the crooks of each other's necks. Your fingers tangle in his hair and you press your lips to his neck, squeezing your eyes shut. You cover your mouth with your hand and moan as you feel yourself starting to unravel.

Maintaining eye contact, John’s eyes are dark yet soft and his body starts to twitch. You feel a chill down your spine as you come, moaning and still riding John as the pleasure takes over. You open your mouth and John quickly presses his hand to it as you moan a little too loud.

“You’re so loud tonight.” John says as a smug smile spreads across his face.

“Fuck,” you hold tight to John, letting out a final moan as he jerks his hips, spilling into you. “Oh, my god.”

Still staring at each other, John leans forward to kiss you and holds you to his chest as he lays back down on the bed. Out of breath and tired, you roll off John and fan yourself.

“Hot?”

“Yeah, I’m melting.” you laugh and grab your hair tie from the side table, quickly pulling your hair away from your face, “Ew, my hair is all wet. I’m so sweaty.”

“Still look beautiful to me.” he says, kissing you and he sits up to pull on his pajama pants. 

“Here.” you grab another hair tie from your side table and hand it to John.

He looks at it and laughs, then looks back at you, “What’s this for?”

“To put your hair up.” you smile at John and reach out to pull his hair up and away from his face. “Let me put your hair into a bun.”

“Okay…” John laughs and smiles at you as you move to kneel behind him. You try to put his hair into a bun, but it’s too wet from sweat and you huff as you plop down on the bed. “Let me do it.”

You lay down on your stomach and watch John as he pulls a few locks of hair into the pony tail. His hair is too short and it barely fits into a bun, but he looks damn cute.

“Stop it, you look so fucking cute.” you say and watch John’s cheeks turn bright red. “If my phone wasn’t four feet away from me, I would __totally__  take your picture right now.”

John reaches out for you and you wrap your legs around his waist as you sit in his lap. You’re still naked and John looks down at your body, smiling and licking his lips. The two of you study each others faces and you smile at John when he leans forward to kiss you.

“I could stare at you for the rest of my life and never get sick of your face.” you say, rubbing John’s back lightly.

“You took the words right out of my mouth.” John’s eyes dart over your face and he leans his forehead against yours, closing his eyes. He moves you back to the bed and stands up, “I should let Bleu out one last time before bed, and I’m gonna grab some water.”

“Well, I'll be here…” you say, wrapping your arms around his waist and kissing his back, “Patiently waiting for you to return.”

__

Bleu comes running into the room and hops on the bed, quickly making himself comfortable and falling asleep. John shuts the door behind him and stares at you, mortified. “Um, baby, your mom was awake the whole time. She heard everything.”

You shoot up and cover your mouth, “What?”

“Yeah, she just gave me a lecture.” he says and you start to tear up from embarrassment.

“Oh, my god. Did she ask you inappropriate shit too? She’s done that before.” you say and flop back on the bed, covering your face with a pillow. “I want to crawl under a rock, this is so embarrassing.”

John starts to laugh and you move the pillow to watch as he sits back down on the bed. You sit back up and look at him as he laughs harder.

“Why are you laughing? This is embarrassing!”

“I’m just _ _fucking__  with you.”

“Jonathan Wick, that is not funny.” you back away from him, but he grabs you and pulls you back to him.

“I don't know, I thought it was funny.” he laughs, pressing kisses to your face.

“Oh yeah, you're __such__  a comedian.” you laugh and shake your head.

“What kind of inappropriate stuff has she asked?” he looks at you, intrigued.

“Oh, she wanted to know when my first time was and how I was feeling after, which is an embarrassing story.” you look up at John and laugh, “My mom and I are close, well, my mom Tess and I are all really close. I mean not like _ _weirdly__  close or anything, she’s not gonna ask how big you are, favorite positions or anything like that. My mom, that is. Tess, on the other hand, she wants to know everything about you. I don’t kiss and tell though.”

John jokingly wipes his brow and exhales, “Whew.”

“Okay, so that’s a lie…I have told her a few things. I can’t help it!” you say and John rolls his eyes as he laughs. “What is your favorite position? I don’t think I know.”

John laughs and nods his head, “You know.”

“This?” you straddle John and he nods again as his hands move to your waist. You crawl off of John and lay flat on your stomach, wiggling your ass and he gets up to kneel behind you. “How about this?” From over your shoulder, you see him close his eyes as he slowly bumps his hips against your ass. “Oh, that’s a __definite__ yes.”

“I love them all.” John pulls you up to his chest, kissing and biting over your neck and shoulder. You turn around to face him and you lay back down on the bed as he crawls on top of you, kissing you endlessly. “This is a really good one, too. Definitely one of my favorites.”

“Why?”

“Because I can see your face,” he says, cupping your face and moving his hands down lower to caress your hips and thighs, “And feel your body under mine.” John kisses you one last time before rolling off and back to his side of the bed.

“Oh, by the way, just for that joke, you have to promise to dance with me tomorrow. Not just a slow song either!”

“I will. Any song you want to dance to, I will dance with you.” he nods.

“ _ _Any__  song?” you ask, raising an eyebrow.

“Any song, and how many ever you want.” he smiles.

“I'm gonna hold you to that, I hope you know.”

He kisses your cheek and pulls you closer to his chest, “Oh, I know you will.”

“You think everything will go as smoothly as we hope?”

“Absolutely. In your opinion, what’s the worst thing that could happen?” he asks and looks down at you as you bring your nail into your mouth. He swats it away and you start to laugh.

“I don’t know. I guess the worst thing that could happen would be like…a thunderstorm, or the caterer not showing up, or Tess’ flowers being all wrong, my dress ripping and then I expose my ass to everyone.”

“Oh, you’re just making shit up now.” he laughs and pulls you on top of him, holding you tight by your waist. “Baby, everything will be __fine__ , I promise. I checked the forecast and it’s going to be beautiful tomorrow. The caterer is going to show up, and if they don’t, I’ll run to every grocery shop in the state and order as much food as I can. Tess’ flowers are going to be fine, Jimmy said she already has them all at their house and she loves them.”

“Okay.” you laugh and lean down to kiss John.

“And as for your dress ripping and exposing your ass,” his hands slide down to your ass and he spanks you, “Just make sure you’re wearing good underwear or something.”

“John!” you say, laughing as you roll of him. “That’s not funny.”

“Well, you’re laughing, so I’m guessing it is.” he snuggles into your side, wrapping his arm around you. “It’ll be fine. _ _Nothing__  is going to go wrong.”

“If you say so.” you sigh loudly and flip on your side, resting your forehead against John’s. He’s so sleepy, but he’s trying his hardest to stay awake to talk to you. You tuck his hair behind his ear and rub his cheek with your thumb as he lets out a big yawn. “I’m sorry, I’ll let you go to sleep now.”

“You need to sleep, too. I’ll hum to you.” he says and wiggles into bed, getting comfortable as he starts to hum.

“Thank you.” you say and close your eyes as John lulls you to sleep.


	47. Chapter 47

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **warnings:** nsfw-ish. some shit goes down and i don't mean john.

Your phone has been ringing non-stop for the past twenty minutes and you know it’s Tess. Without looking, you reach over to grab your phone and peek one eye open to see her named scrawled across the screen.

“What?” you answer, a little annoyed.

“I’m getting married today!” she sings, then squeals loudly.

“Yes, you are. But it’s like five in the morning, you’re not getting married until later this evening.” you whisper and roll over to see the bed empty. You hear the shower running and figure John is already up for the day.

“Can I come over now?”

You sigh and close your eyes, “Yes, you can come over. The door should be unlocked, John is already up. Don’t forget Jimmy is here, so you two have to stay from each other. So stupid.”

“Shut up, it’s not stupid! It’s for good luck.” she says, laughing quietly. “Can you believe I’m getting married?”

“I know, it’s wild.” you laugh, “I have to go shower, I’ll see you in a bit.”

Tess doesn’t even say goodbye, she screams as she hangs up and you throw your phone on the bed. The shower is still running and sit up to stretch, feeling your head spin from the lack of sleep.

“Oh, no.” you groan and rub your temples, “Not today.”

You look around the room and see your dress hanging in the closet, reminding you what today is all about, and you hope like hell your headache will go away. Walking over to your dress, you hear John singing quietly in the shower and walk over to knock on the door.

“Yes?” John’s voice is deep and amplified by the shower.

“Are you singing?” you ask as the steam from the shower moistens your face. “Can I come in?”

John opens the shower door and nods, his body dripping wet. You’re still naked from the night before and you hop into the shower with him, lips puckered for John and he presses a warm kiss to your lips as you hug each other.

“Hi.” you whisper and lean against his chest, warm and wet from the water.

“Hi, beautiful.” he says, then he pours soap in his hand and starts to wash you off.

You’re perfectly capable of washing yourself, but something about the way John’s hands are so soft and gentle with you makes you melt. His hands slide over every inch of your body and you close your eyes as he massages you. Of course his hands slide to your ass, and you peek open one eye and he smiles as he pulls you closer so he can kiss you.

The kisses start out closemouthed until John opens his mouth for you to slide your tongue into his mouth, gliding against his. Running your hands up his biceps, he pulls you closer to deepen the kiss and you run your fingers through his hair. He lifts you up as you wrap your legs around his waist and you open your eyes to look at him.

“You look really handsome today, your freckles are so cute. It’s kinda killing me.” you whisper.

John turns around to press you against the shower wall and he kisses down your chest, licking over your breast. He looks back at you and slams his mouth onto yours, tongues sliding against one another and you let out a quiet moan with your lips pressed to his lips.

“I don’t remember the last time we just made out.” you laugh as John puts you back on the ground, “It usually always leads to something with you.”

John smiles and shrugs as he moves under the spray of the water again. You watch as he washes his hair and you quickly wipe away soap that’s sliding down his forehead to the corner of his eye.

He squeeze his eyes shut and laughs, “Thanks.”

“I forgot to ask you last night, but what about the basement? Is everything…put away?” you ask and John opens his eyes to look at you. “Your guns.”

“Yeah,” he nods and moves so you can get under the water with him, “I already have everything locked in the safe anyway, but I covered it up with a blanket. Put some random books on top, looks…normal down there.”

“Looks normal.” you laugh loudly and it echoes throughout the bathroom.

John laughs and slaps your ass, “So, are you excited for today?”

“Yeah, it’s going to a very romantic day.” you laugh as you begin to wash your hair. “So get ready to hear about how much I love you.”

“I can’t wait.”

“Oh, Tess is already on her way over.” you say, lathering the shampoo in your hair and keeping your eyes closed to avoid getting bubbles in them.

John starts to laugh and leans down to kiss you, “Well, I’m going to get some breakfast started then.”

“Okay.” you whisper, sad to see him leave already. He opens the shower door and you watch as he puts a towel around his waist. “Wait…”

“What?”

“I have a request.” you bite your lip to hide a smile.

“You want chocolate chip pancakes, I know.” he starts to smile, eyes raking over your wet body.

“No, not that.” you laugh, “Actually, I kind of want donuts, but I got a different request.”

“Okay…”

“Well, I’ve only seen it like twice so, can you, um…” you swallow and shake your head, “Never mind.”

You start to close the shower door and John stops you, pulling it back open. “No, you’re telling me.”

You stand in front of John, rinsing the shampoo from your hair and laugh, “It’s stupid.”

“It’s not stupid. Stop saying everything you think is stupid.” he says, staring at your breasts.

“Hey! My eyes are up here, big guy.” you say and John rips the towel from his waist as he gets back in the shower with you, wrapping his arms around your waist and kissing you passionately. He kisses you slowly as he backs out of the shower and you almost fall out as you try to keep your lips pressed to his.

“What is your request?” he asks, wiping the spit off of his face.

“You’re wearing a suit?” you say and he nods as he puts his towel back around his waist. “Obviously. I saw it, you’re going to look so fucking handsome.”

“Mouse, what is your request?” he asks again.

You reach out and run your fingers through his hair, slicking it back and you smile. John starts to smile and nods his head, picking up on what you want.

“I’ve only ever seen you comb it back twice. Once when we first started dating, but you were leaving for work and another time when I came to see you at the hotel. But you didn’t have it slicked back for long.” you wink.

“I thought you liked my hair when it’s fluffy.” he says and presses a kiss to your wrist as you remove your hands from his hair.

“I do like it when it’s fluffy.” you say, leaning out of the shower to kiss John.

“Well, I’ll comb it back today, just for you. Finish showering, I’ll meet you in the kitchen.”

__

“Okay, so maybe I want to marry you instead,” Tess starts to laugh and takes another bite of her pancakes, “Or maybe we can hire you as our personal chef.”

You lean against the doorway and watch as Tess and your mom fawn over John’s cooking. The kitchen island is covered with pancakes, sausage, bacon and eggs. John always goes overboard when it comes to food, but he loves to cook. You know anytime John is cooking, it’s going to be a whole meal, and dinner always ends with dessert.

“Jonathan, where did you learn to cook like this?” your mom asks and wipes off her mouth with a napkin, “This is amazing.”

“Mom, he was literally hatched from an egg.” you say and John turns around at the sound of your voice. He smiles wide at you, as if he’s only seeing you for the first time today. You immediately fall into his arms and look up at him. “He’s good at everything. It’s a little annoying at times because there is no way someone can be this perfect.”

“Not true, you’re pretty perfect.” John says, pressing his lips to your forehead. He reaches over your shoulder and holds up a box, “I got you a donut.”

“What?” you look in the box and see a chocolate frosted donut waiting for you, “I literally just mentioned that like, 45 minutes ago.”

“Well,” he scoots you to the table and places a plate in front of you. Pancakes, bacon and a cup of chocolate chips. “Thought you could save it for later, but you need a big breakfast for now.”

“Look, he even knows my favorite pancake topping.” you point at the chocolate chips and John steals one before pressing a kiss to the top of your head.

“They’re gross, aren’t they?” Tess says and looks over to your mom, “They’re always like this, too.”

Your mom starts to laugh and shakes her head, “Oh, to be young and in love.”

John sets a cup of coffee in front of you and raises his eyebrows, “Drink it, you barely slept last night.”

“You couldn’t sleep?” your mom asks, looking at her plate and Tess starts to smirk.

“Yeah, I was just…ya know, worried about everything for today. Hoping it goes as planned. I did sleep a little eventually.” you say and kick Tess under the table when she starts to laugh.

“Oh, did John help you?” Tess asks and looks over your shoulder at John.

“I’m gonna bring Jimmy his food.” John says, quickly leaving the kitchen.

“You know what? He did help me sleep.” you say and Tess bursts out laughing. “Not like that, you weirdo. He hums.”

“He hums?” she asks incredulously.

“Yeah, he hums and it helps me sleep. He has a really good voice, too.” you look over your shoulder as John walks back into the kitchen and sits next to you at the table to eat. “I was just telling them how you helped me sleep last night. Eased my mind about today.”

John looks up, wide eyed and shocked, “Oh. Uh…”

“You sing, Jonathan?” your mom asks, seemingly unaware of what Tess was implying.

“I try. I’m not good by any means.”

“Liar. He’s so good.” you say and reach for his hand under the table.

“So, how is Jimmy doing?” Tess asks and shoves a piece of bacon in her mouth. “Is he dying because he has to stay away from everyone?”

“Pretty much, mostly because he has to stay away from you though.” John laughs, pouring syrup onto his pancakes, “He got a little too…drunk last night, I had to carry him into his room.”

“That’s what that was. I thought I heard something bumping around last night.” your mom says, finally looking up at you and you quickly dodge her gaze.

“No, it was definitely these two.” Tess says, pointing at you and John, “He helped her sleep, remember?”

You put your head in your hands and laugh, “Tess, I swear…”

“Well, you said he helped you sleep.” she laughs and nudges your mom’s shoulder as they both laugh.

“I’m not as dumb and old as you like to think I am.” your mom says and winks at Tess.

“So, what is your technique, John? How does one help someone fall asleep?” Tess asks, holding her side as she wheezes.

You look over at John and notice his face is completely red. He grabs his plate and stands up, “I’m…I’m gonna go eat with Jimmy.”

__

John and Jimmy have been helping out with the last touches on the decorations, and somehow John has managed to hang more twinkly lights over the patio and it looks amazing. You told him there was no way he could hang them over the patio, but he figured out how. Of course.

You peek out the bedroom door and see John greeting people. When he sees your mom, he leans over and hugs her. She cups his face in her hands, probably telling him how handsome he is since you notice his cheeks flush red.

John points over your mom’s shoulder and he waves at Amanda holding Harper, who is already reaching out for John. She’s wearing a fluffy pink dress and a headband with a huge bow, and John is melting, you can see it from where you’re standing and you smile to yourself.

He bounces her in his arms and your mom leans close to Harper, talking to her and they all laugh. John looks up to where you’re peeking out from behind the door and waves at you, then points to Harper. You smile at him and put your hand over your heart, then close the door and turn back to help Tess.

“This still fits you perfectly.” you say as you zip up the back of Tess’ dress.

“I actually talked to my doctor about that, I guess it’s just like…a thing that runs in families. I guess when my mom pregnant with me, she hardly was showing until the very end.” she says, looking down at her stomach. “Mommy is going to feed you soon, I promise. Just let mommy and daddy get married first.”

“You can’t wait that long! Feed the child, Tess. They’re hungry.” you laugh and peek your head out the door to look for John. When you spot him, you wave him over and he quickly runs up the stairs to you. “Can you get a pack of crackers? Tess is hungry.”

John heads back down the stairs, and moments later you hear him knocking on the door.

“Hey,” John slowly opens the door, his eyes are squeezed shut and he’s waving his hand to get your attention. “Here are your crackers. Also, baby, can you hand me my jacket from the closet?”

“John, my name is Tess.” she says, putting her hands on her hips.

You look at Tess, rolling your eyes and laughing as you walk over to him. You take the crackers from him and throw them at Tess, “You know you can open your eyes, right?”

“I can?” he asks, taking his jacket from you.

“Yes, I’m not the one getting married.” you laugh and John lets out a small chuckle. “You’re not going to jinx them if you see Tess before the wedding. And also, we’re not naked, you’re safe.”

“Are you sure?” he says and slowly squints one eye open. When he sees you standing in front of him in your dress, his eyes are glued to you, fixed on just you. “Wow.”

You attempt to hide your face, but John grabs your hands, pulling you into his arms. His skin feels warm and he smells like peppermint when he kisses you. Feeling your face burning, you pull away and smile at him. He pushes you back a little and you slowly spin so he can get a full look. He looks up at Tess as she poses in the mirror and he laughs.

“You both look very beautiful.” he says and looks back to you. He smiles and taps you on your nose, “I’ll see you out there, baby.”

John closes the door and you turn around to see Tess still posing in the mirror. You watch as she starts to tear up, and she takes a deep breath to calm herself down.

“Well, should we do this?” Tess asks and grabs her bouquet off the dresser.

A wide smile spreads across your face and you nod, “Let’s go get you married.”

__

The ceremony was short – just what Jimmy and Tess wanted. John stared at you the whole time, smiling every time your eyes met, and watching him walk Tess down the aisle was the sweetest thing. He kissed her on the cheek and hugged her tight before handing her off to Jimmy.

Jimmy told the story about their first date, recalling how Tess made him dance not even an hour after they met. He thanked you and John again for introducing them, and together they announced that they’re expecting their first child.

The reception has only just started, and you could swear there are way more people here than intended. Jimmy and Tess are having their first dance to the song they danced to when they met, and they’re laughing and pressing kisses to each others face. You look over and see your mom crying and taking pictures as fast as she can. Typical.

You’re looking at the flowers on the table when you feel a warm hand on your back. John. You close your eyes and smile, leaning back into his arms as he moves the hair off your shoulder and lightly kisses it.

“You look beautiful, mouse.”

You smile and turn around to look at him, “You look so incredibly handsome today, it’s unfair.”

“Unfair?” he whispers and wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you closer.

“Yes, it’s unfair because I want you so bad.” you lean up and whisper in his ear.

He pulls you even closer and you can feel him growing hard in his pants. He buries his face in the crook of your neck and whispers, almost too quietly. “This dress is amazing.”

“It would look better on our bedroom floor though, wouldn’t it?”

“You gotta stop.” John laughs and tries to push you back a little, but you keep a tight grip on him.

“Guess what?” you lean closer, lips brushing against his ear when you talk, “I’m not wearing any panties.”

“I want you so fucking bad.” he whispers, pressing a kiss to your neck. His hands start to move towards your ass but they stop and move back up to your waist.

“Then take me.” you say and pull away to look at him.

He almost moans at the thought and he flinches when everyone starts to clap for Jimmy and Tess. He looks up at everyone and smiles when he realizes you’re still staring at him. John look back at you and licks his lips.

“Excuse me, can I take your picture?” the photographer asks. She’s a tiny little thing, and she smiles wide, waiting for you to answer. “I’m so sorry to interrupt, and I don’t usually just…ask, but you two were talking and you looked very in love. Perfect for a photo at a wedding. And I was instructed by the bride to take as many pictures as possible.”

“Of course.” John says and wrap his arms around you tight as you lean your head against his chest. You look up at John and smile as he leans down to kiss your forehead.

“Perfect.” she takes several photos and looks down at her camera, “Oh, these are going to be great.” she looks back at you and thanks you as she walks away and begins taking pictures of Amanda dancing with Benji.

“I’m surprised she didn’t quit.” you laugh and look up at John, “Did you see her earlier when she was taking our group and family photos? She was overwhelmed. Poor thing.”

“I’ll give her a really good tip.” he nods.

“Don’t smoke in bed.” you joke, and John stares at you blankly before he finally starts to laugh.

“John Wick! How long has it been?” a woman says and you look over at her as she immediately reaches out to hug John.

John stumbles back a little and pats her back uncomfortably, “It’s been awhile.”

You watch her closely as she caresses John’s bicep and you look away, trying not to seem like a overly protective girlfriend. She starts to make small talk with John and you can tell by his responses that he’s not interested. She’s clearly very attracted to John. Hell, who isn’t? You understand completely, he’s hands down the most handsome man you’ve ever seen. After seeing the way she’s looking at John, you begin feeling uncomfortable and you start to walk away when John reaches out for your hand.

“Get back here.” he says, pulling you closer to his side, “This is my girlfriend, Y/N.”

“Hi!” she instantly reaches out to hug you, and you stiffen up a little and look at John as he shakes his head, laughing quietly. “I’m Zoe.”

“Hi.” you say and she lets go of you. “I’m–”

“Zoe!” Jimmy yells and she laughs as she runs over to hug him.

“Okay then.” you laugh and look at John, “She’s…”

“Jimmy’s cousin.” John says and turns you so you’re facing him, “She was living with him for a while. We went out a few times – with Jimmy. It wasn’t like that.”

“Oh,” you nod and watch as Tess hugs Zoe. “That’s cool.”

“She took you by surprise, didn’t she?”

“She did.” you nod, laughing. “I wasn’t expecting to just hug me like that. I mean, I hug people. I love to hug people, but not random people I’ve never met before.”

John is looking at you and he shakes his head as he laughs. He looks so handsome today and you understand why Zoe couldn’t keep her hands to herself.

“She has a pretty big crush on you, you know that, right?”

“She does?” he asks, furrowing his brow.

You laugh loudly and nod, “Ooh, yes, very much so. I saw the way she was touching your arm and looking at you. And I do not blame her, you are very, very handsome.”

“But…”

You look at John and smile, “But you’re not interested.”

“That’s my girl.” he says, pressing a kiss to the top of your head.

The two of you stand there in silence for a moment, watching everyone in the backyard as they laugh and dance. Aurelio is dancing around with Harper, Tess is dancing with your mom and Dan is taking pictures of everything – your mom’s request, you assume.

“So, still gonna dance with me later?”

“Of course.” Something catches John’s eye and he focuses hard on it over the top of your head. You try to turn around, but he cups your face, “Don’t worry about it.”

“Worry about what?” you pull away from him and see Leah walking through your house. “Why is she here? I haven’t even seen her since Christmas, I was hoping she’d fallen off the face of the earth.”

“Why is she here?” Tess says as she walks over to you, “I told mom not to invite her. The evil rat.”

“God, Tess.” you laugh and look at Leah as she starts to talk to random people. You roll your eyes and look at John, then at Tess. “She only goes after my boyfriends, so I think Jimmy is safe.”

“That’s true.” she laughs and shrugs, brushing it off already. “Well anyway, it’s time to dance.”

Tess grabs your hand and leads you over to the DJ – the one John insisted on hiring. You and Tess both fought him on, but in the end, he won.

“What will get Jimmy to dance?” you ask, hiding a laugh.

“Anything from the 80s. Whitney Houston, usually.”

The music starts and you both look around for Jimmy. He dances his way to the middle of the patio and he points at Tess, waving her over as she laughs. He’s all arms and he’s throwing them in the air, barely missing people. You look around for John and see him sitting in a chair, laughing his ass off at Jimmy.

When you walk by, Jimmy grabs your hand and pulls you into his arms as you yelp. He spins you around and pulls you back to him, laughing and singing the song as you laugh loudly. Tess finally interrupts and you thank her as they fall into each others arms, dancing and singing.

“That was interesting.” you walk over to John and sit in his lap as he laughs.

“He’s drunk, well, getting there anyway.”

“I still want to see you dance, by the way.” you say and look at John.

“Okay.” John says and you immediately stand up.

He grabs your hand, pulling you into the crowd of people dancing and stands there, frozen in place. He looks around at the people dancing and looks back at you. You smile wide as he shrugs and starts moving his shoulders a little.

“Oh, my god.” you laugh and John starts bouncing on his knees. You cover your mouth and laugh so loud you’re sure you could hear it over the music. “Oh, my god! Jonathan!”

“Come on!” he reaches out for your hands and spins you around as the two of you laugh.

Tess sees the two of you dancing and makes her way over with Jimmy trailing behind her. He’s singing the lyrics loudly and trying his best to do the robot, and you look over at John as he starts to laugh at Jimmy. The song fades into a slow one, and John instantly grabs your waist and pulls you back to him.

The sun is starting to set and it’s shining on the backyard, making John’s eyes a warm, delicious brown. You trace your finger over the freckles sprinkled on his cheeks and nose, smiling when your eyes meet. You notice a tiny scar on the apple of John’s cheek, and you run your finger over it as he closes his eyes.

“Today has been really good, hasn’t it?” he says, leaning his forehead against yours.

“Yeah, it has.” you close your eyes as you sway back and forth to the music. John’s grip is firm on your waist, and the warmth from his hands is seeping through your dress and onto your skin.

“Everything went as planned.”

“Yeah, weddings are still stressful though.” you say with your eyes closed. “This wedding was small and it was still stressful as fuck, well, it was to me anyway.”

“Well, do you still want to marry me?” he asks and his voice is a little shaky.

You open your eyes and see him looking at you, “Yes, as long as you want to marry me.”

“I do.” he nods his head, grinning, “What if I asked you to marry me right now? Right this very minute. I’m not, but if I was…”

“I would’ve said yes the day I met you.”

He starts to laugh and kisses your cheek, “You would have?”

“Absolutely.” you nod and he tightens his grip on your waist. “God…just the way you look at me, John.”

“What about it?” he laughs, crinkles forming around his eyes when he smiles.

“You just look at me like I’m the only person in the room. The only person in the world.” you smile and you wrap your arms around his neck, running your fingers through his hair. “I can see how much you love me.”

“I do love you.” he leans down to kiss you and you see a hand land on John’s shoulder, stopping him and he turns around to see your mom.

“Can I dance with you, Jonathan?” she asks, smiling.

“Of course.” he says, letting go of you and you already miss the feeling of his hands on your hips.

Tess walks over, shuffling in place and leans close to you, “Ya know, being pregnant…you really do pee more often and I have to pee now. I need help though.”

“Duty calls, I guess.” you smile and lean up to kiss John.

Holding hands with Tess, you walk through the living room and head for the bathroom. From the corner of your eye, you see Leah talking to some guy and you pray she doesn’t walk over to talk to you and Tess. She quickly stands in front of the two of you, blocking the way.

“Hi, Leah.” Tess says through gritted teeth.

“You look beautiful, Tess. Congratulations.” she says and reaches out to hug her, “I met your husband, he’s really nice.”

“Thank you.” Tess puts on a fake smile and turns to you, “I’m going to piss myself, come on.”

“Sorry.” you say to Leah and she rolls her eyes at you.

You quickly get Tess in the bathroom and hold her dress up as she uses the toilet. “Why was she so nice to you?”

You pretend not to be hurt, but you have to admit that it bothered you. Tess and Leah have always hated each other, their bold personalities clash a lot. Leah was never nice to you, but she was always friendlier to you than to Tess.

“Because she doesn’t want my husband, she wants yours – well, she wants your…John. Okay, I’m done.”

You lean against the wall as Tess washes her hands and she turns around to look at you. Her hands are still damp from washing them and she flicks the water at you.

“It’s working.”

You tilt your head, “What is?”

“Whatever she’s doing to get under your skin, it’s working.”

“Well, I certainly don’t think John would leave me for her.” you start to laugh as you open the bathroom door and immediately see Leah talking to John.

He’s taken off his suit jacket and he has his hands stuffed into his pockets, and it’s pulling on the back of his dress pants, making his ass look incredibly good. Leah is talking away and John is trying his best to look interested, but he’s looking around the yard, and you assume it’s for you. Leah reaches out to touch his bicep and John looks down at her hand on him, politely scooting back a little. He finally looks to the left and sees you, smiling wide when your gazes meet. He nods slightly to Leah and widen his eyes a little, almost begging for your rescue.

“You’re not worried, are you?” Tess starts to laugh.

“Nope.” you smile and walk back out to the patio.

“Oh, hey. I was just saying hi to John. Don’t worry.” Leah says and reaches out to hug you.

“I’m not worried.” you shrug.

You know Leah is trying to act like the bigger person, trying to impress John, and he couldn’t care less. Since you’ve walked back out to the patio, he hasn’t stopped looking at you.

“Wanna dance?” you push yourself in between the two of them and wrap your arms around his neck. You raise your eyebrows at John and he nods.

“Yeah, let’s go dance.” he says and walks into the middle of the crowd of people, holding tight to your hand.

He looks around and his hands slide down your back to your hips, biting his lip when you move in closer to him. You’re thankful for the heels you’re wearing, they make you taller and you can get closer to John’s face. You sway your hips a little and rub against John, and his eyes almost fall out of his head. He looks around again, scanning the crowd for your mom.

You spin around in his arms and you feel him press against you as he wraps his arms around you. You bend forward a little, sticking your ass out and rotating your hips against the erection growing in his pants. As you look over your shoulder, you see John close his eyes and he quickly pulls you back into his chest as he continues looking around the yard.

“You’re looking for my mom, aren’t you?” you start to laugh and lean closer to him so he can hear you.

“Yes, I can’t let you grind on me with your mom around.” his lips brush against your neck when he talks and you close your eyes, gasping when he holds you tight to him and bucks his hips slightly.

“I want you to fuck me so bad right now.”

“Shh!” John pulls you closer to him and laughs.

“No one can hear me, the music is too loud.” you say and almost scream when Tess grabs your arm and pulls you to dance with her.

“I heard that. Totally understandable. He looks fucking hot tonight. His hair pushed back like that, his suit is tailored just for him. Perfect.” Tess says, smirking.

“Oh, my god…” you start to blush and she shakes her head.

“What? I don’t blame you at all. I bet he’s really good.”

“Tess!” you cover your face with your hands and laugh.

“I know he is.” She looks over at Jimmy, who is trying his damnedest to get John to dance. He’s nudging him and shaking his shoulder, but John is frozen in place, laughing with his hands in his pockets. “We gotta get John to dance again.”

“We do.” you nod and make your way to the DJ.

The song starts and you look over at John, and he spots you in the crowd and starts to smile. You wave him over and he quickly joins you and Tess. She grabs your hand and John’s and starts to jump in place.

“You promised me.” you point at John, “You said you would dance to whatever song I wanted and to how many I wanted.“

April joins in and the three of you start to dance as John watches. You reach for his hands and he still stays frozen in place, but he begins to laugh.

“Come on, Jonathan.” you jut out your bottom lip and bat your eyelashes. “You were dancing earlier!”

“I’m the bride and I demand that you dance, Jonathan.” Tess laughs and grabs his hands.

Slowly and reluctantly, John starts to dance and he bounces in place a few times as you spin around him. You lean back against his chest, wrapping his arms around you as you sing the song and move your bodies together.

“Remember the first time we danced to this?” you tilt your head back to look at him and he nods.

You spin around again and Jimmy joins in too. You all start to dance and sing the song loudly, and the happiness on John’s face makes you melt. You’re surprised by how much he’s dancing and you’re starting to wonder how many drinks he’s had.

“How much have you had to drink?” you ask as you stop dancing.

John stops dancing and laughs, “I haven’t had anything to drink.”

“Just happy?”

John nods, “Just happy.”

“Well, I need some water.” you say, out of breath.

When you get to the kitchen, you turn around and see Jimmy laughing with John. As you walk past the back door, you see Bleu outside looking sad and alone, and you figure it won’t hurt the party if you’re gone for more than a few minutes.

“Hi, baby.” you say, slipping into the backyard and sitting on the steps.

He whimpers and lays down next to you, placing his head in your lap. You rest your head on your hand and pet Bleu, taking a much needed break from all the people. It’s not that you don’t like to be around people, you just like the quiet life that you and John lead. Just the two of you and Bleu. And Jimmy and Tess, of course.

“I know you hate being away from everyone, especially dad. But we love you and we don’t want you to get in the way, or get scared of how loud it is.” Even from the backyard, you can hear music and people laughing from the other side of the house.

You’ve been away longer than intended and you know John is wondering where you are. As you stand up, you duck down when you see someone in the kitchen searching through the cabinets. You don’t recognize the back of his head, but when he turns around, you recognize him immediately.

Matt. Why? Why is he here? You don’t even remember the last time you saw Matt. You rack your brain, trying to remember and it clicks. The last time you saw him was at the grocery store months ago. You haven’t seen Matt in months, and to be honest, you kind of forgot all about him.

“He doesn’t even know Jimmy though, and he met Tess, like, twice. Has John seen him yet? Well, obviously not, he wouldn’t be standing here if he had.” you whisper to yourself and look down at your hands as they begin to shake.

Matt continues looking through your cupboards, and he gets dangerously close to the drawer where you and John keep a journal of notes the two of you have written for each other. Just small reminders of what you need to get from the grocery store, but usually it’s full of love notes.

You open the door in a fury and yell at him, “What the fuck are you doing?”

“I’m looking for a glass, but…” he looks up, then smiles when he realizes it’s you. “Hey, I’m here for a wedding.”

“Why?” you ask and Bleu rushes past you, cautiously sniffing Matt.

“…Because I was invited.” he starts to laugh and walks closer to you, “I didn’t know you were going to be here.”

You back away and laugh, “It’s literally my house.”

“This is your house? I thought you lived in that house across the street.” he says, shocked as he looks around at your kitchen, “It’s a nice place.”

He’s lying. He knows this is John’s house.

You fold your arms across your chest and look out at the patio. John is sitting in a chair talking with Aurelio. He catches you looking and he smiles big, waving at you. You give him a small wave and you turn back to Matt, shaking your head.

“You should probably leave.” you say as you grab Bleu by the collar.

“Why? My date knows the groom.” he laughs and walks closer. As he gets closer, you know John is going to be able to see him and you take several steps back.

“You came with a date?” you ask, relaxing at the thought of him coming with someone else.

“Yeah, she’s cousins with Jared.”

“Jimmy.” you correct him.

“What?”

“His name,” you hold tight to Bleu as he lunges forward a bit, “His name is Jimmy.”

“Damn, I can never get names right.” he laughs and leans against the counter.

“Well, anyway…enjoy your night, I guess.” you say and walk past him to bring Bleu back outside.

Matt grabs your arm tight and stops you, “You look gorgeous.”

Bleu barks loudly and growls, and it catches you off guard seeing as you’ve never heard Bleu be aggressive. He’s never even growled at a squirrel as far you know. Being aggressive just isn’t in his nature.

When Matt shoves you back a little, Bleu jolts forward and he growls loudly again, baring his teeth. Disgusted and shocked, you try to pull your arm out of Matt’s grip, but he tightens it and you’re sure he’s bruising your skin.

“Please don’t touch me.”

Placing his hands on the counter top behind you, he leans close to your face. Alcohol is wafting off his skin making you dizzy and it burns your nostrils. “I never got to kiss you.”

“Because I never wanted you to kiss me.” you say and look down at Bleu, still barring his teeth and growling.

“Are you still with that guy? I never liked him. Didn’t like how he acted like he owned you. The night we went on our date, he just stood there, watching and waiting for me to leave. Waiting for you. And this damn dog ruined my chances to kiss you.”

“Get off of me!” you yell a little and know people can probably hear you. Bleu begins to bark and you’re sure it’s alerting John.

“I was always jealous of that guy. Getting to touch you and kiss you whenever he wanted.” Matt leans back to look at your face and he smiles. His eyes are blood shot and glazed over, obviously drunk. You squeeze your eyes shut as he leans forward to kiss you and your back is starting to hurt from the counter top digging into it, and you try to shove him off of you once more.

“Get the fuck off of her!” John yells, and his voice reminds you of thunder: dangerous and full of rage.

Opening your eyes, you see John on top of Matt, and his fist is a blur as it repeatedly strikes Matt in the face. John grumbles something in Russian, causing your arms to become covered in goosebumps and you realize how scary he sounds.

Jimmy runs into the kitchen and for a moment, you’re surprised by how fast he’s sobered up. With help from Aurelio, they manage to pull John off of Matt, but John is far from done as he tries to escape their grasps. You squeeze your eyes shut again, covering your face with your hands and John is back on top of Matt.

You hear Jimmy and Aurelio trying their best to calm John down and pull him away from Matt, but he doesn’t stop. When you call out to John, the hits finally stop and you hear Matt groaning on the floor, cursing under his breath. Someone touches your shoulders and you flinch as their hands pry your fingers away from off your eyes. You open your eyes and you see John speaking in Russian, and you shake your head as tears spill from your eyes.

“I don’t…” you cup his face, shaking your head, “John, I don’t know what you’re saying.”

“Are you okay? Baby, are you okay?” John is leaning in front of you and he rubs your shoulders gently, waiting for your response. You nod your head and he turns back to Matt, who is still on the floor. John moves you to stand behind him and you cling to his belt, trying to process what the fuck just happened.

After a moment, you peek around John and look at Matt’s face, a bruise is already forming around his eye, his nose is bloody and definitely broken. He looks at John and shakes his head, “Fuck you, man.”

You move to stand in front of John and you’re surprised by how calm he is, almost like he’s done this before and when you remember he has, it gives you goosebumps. His expression is intense and threatening, and his eyes are fixed on Matt, on his every move. His usual warm brown eyes are almost black and he’s clenching his jaw every few seconds. You shiver when you see it and think about how you’d never want to wrong John, he’s scary as hell. He’s a force to be reckoned with.

You’re still looking at John, and a part of you is scolding yourself for how incredibly hot you’re finding him in this moment. You know it’s inappropriate, but fuck, he looks hot.

“I wasn’t doing anything wrong.” Matt says, and you see John’s body tense up again.

“Take her, I’ll deal with this.” Jimmy says and throws paper towels into Matt’s lap as he kneels next to him, “You’re ruining my wedding, dude. What the fuck did you think you were doing trying to kiss her?”

“I wasn’t even touching her!” Matt says, laughing and holding his nose. “She wanted me.”

Aurelio begins to laugh and shakes his head, “You’re a fucking idiot, man.”

“How? This was all her!” Matt yells loudly, trying to cause a scene.

“You’re clearly drunk, man.” Jimmy says, calmly. “Maybe you had a few too many drinks and you need to just go home. Sleep it off.”

“I’m fine.” Matt snaps and looks up at you. “It wasn’t me anyway, it was her.”

Holding tight to John, you feel him jolt forward and you try your best to push him back, tears pricking your eyes. “Jonathan!”

“She wanted to kiss me, John.” he says as he stands back up, “She said she wanted to be with me and that she made a mistake choosing you over me.”

You and John finally lock eyes and you know he can see the anger on your face. Without thinking, you turn around and slap Matt hard across the face, “Fuck you.”

Matt closes his eyes and lets out a small laugh, “You don’t want him to know?”

“Get the fuck out of my house.” you say and feel John’s hands on your arms. You look over at Jimmy and nod to Matt, “Get him out of my house.”

Matt starts to laugh again and looks up at you as you turn back to face John. His hands are shaking and you try your best to shove him out of the kitchen, but he’s rock solid and hard to move.

He balls up his fist and you know he wants to hit him again – knowing John, he wants to do more than hit him. He’s probably trying to calculate how he can get to him and snap his neck without everyone jumping in the way to stop him. John stays planted in place, clenching his jaw and still staring Matt down. You stand on your tiptoes in front of John, making eye contact with him.

“Jonathan,” you say, trying to calm him and his eyes soften when he sees you, “I wanna talk to you upstairs.”

“I don’t want him in our house.” he says to you and his voice is pure anger, but you know it’s not directed at you.

“I don’t either, but I want to talk to you right now.” you lean closer to his face and whisper, “I know that if you don’t come with me, you’re going to do something…to him.”

He moves with you to the living room and cups your face, “Let me deal with this, then I’ll meet you upstairs.”

“John–” you get cut off when he kisses you hard. He pulls away and he’s completely breathless as his eyes flicker on your face. He leans his forehead against yours for a moment, then presses a kiss to it.

“Let me deal with this.” he says, firmly. A tear slides down your cheek and John wipes it away with this thumb, “Peach, please.”

You look at the people outside, laughing and dancing, completely clueless as to what is happening in the kitchen. Tess is twirling around with April and for a moment, you wish you were with them.

“Don’t cause a scene, please.” you say, backing away.

“I never do.”


	48. Chapter 48

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **warnings:** nsfw

You pace back and forth in the bedroom, wringing your hands with worry. When you clasp them tight, your right hand starts to burn and you look at it; shaking and red from slapping Matt's face. You were damn proud of yourself, to be honest. Matt was _completely_  out a line. Seeing his face bloody and bruised, and knowing John did it...was hot and you hated to admit it.

“Don't cause a scene, Jonathan. Please, don't cause a scene.” you start to pick at your nails and flop down on the bed. “God, I really hope he's not causing a scene. I mean, it was hot though. I have to admit it and I __hate__ to admit it. Seeing John get so protective – __of course__  he'd get protective over me, I'm his girlfriend.”

You look at the ceiling, exhaling slowly, then you close your eyes for a moment and feel your head spin. After laying there for a few moments, you open your eyes and start to wonder if maybe John forgot about you.

“He didn’t __forget__  about you, you idiot. He just beat the shit out of someone __for__  you.” you sit up and rub your temples, “He’s been gone for like, 20 minutes though.” you turn around to check the clock and laugh loudly, “Okay, so maybe it’s only been seven minutes, but __still__.”

Getting off the bed, you take a deep breath and walk to the door, peeking out to see if anyone is looking. Karen, Jimmy’s talkative aunt, has cornered your mom and Tess, and you giggle to yourself when you see Tess trying her hardest to get away, but your mom grabs her arm and holds her in place.

You know John is probably either in the backyard or in the front yard. If you can get to the kitchen, you know you’ll be able to sneak to the front yard. The problem is just getting passed everyone.

__Here we go._ _

You make your way to the kitchen, but when you see April, you quickly dodge into the den. You peek around the corner and watch as she starts to talk to Tess, and the two of them walk back outside. The door to the backyard is just around the corner and you tiptoe as fast as you can to the door.

“Where are you going, young lady?”

__Damn it. Are you kidding me?__  You turn around and see Dan pouring himself a glass of water. He smiles and lifts his cup.

“Hi.” you say and inch your way to the door, “I’m sorry, I just…”

“You need a breather, I get it.” he says, then he takes a drink of his water, “Don’t let me stop you.”

Exhaling, you slip out the back door and put your hand over your mouth. Your heart is beating out of your chest and a part of you is enjoying how sneaky you’re being. You feel like you’re in some sort of movie, and you know you shouldn’t be enjoying this, but you are.

Bleu is standing at the back gate and his tail is wagging a mile a minute, so you assume he can see John from where he is. As you get closer, you push Bleu out of the way a little because you know the moment you open the gate, he’ll run to John.

You peek around the house and see John, Jimmy, and Aurelio standing around Matt, who is on the ground. You watch as John kneels in front of him and Matt shakes his head. He’s scared, you can tell. He’s fucking _ _terrified__.

John stands up again and you watch as he backs away a little. He puts his hand on his forehead and shakes his head. Jimmy reaches out to touch his shoulder and John nods his head as he backs away more.

Matt says something to set John off and he punches him across the face. John grabs him by the collar of his shirt and pulls him back up, then he clenches his fist and hits him again.

You’re pissed at Matt. He was out of line, you know that, but John is taking it too far. You don’t want him to __kill__  Matt. You walk closer to them and Jimmy’s eyes grow wide when he sees you. He taps John’s shoulder to get his attention but he doesn’t look up.

You stop a few feet from them and cross your arms, “Jonathan.”

John is out of breath and his hair has fallen in his face as he turns around to look at you. The anger is still on his face, but when he realizes it’s you, his eyes soften. His knuckles are bloody and he clenches his fists tight as he stands up.

“What are you doing out here?” he asks, walking closer to you and reaching out. When you back away from his grasp, he looks down at his hands and finally notices the blood.

“I thought you were coming to talk to me.”

He nods, “I was, I just…I needed to--”

“You needed to __deal__  with this.” you say and he nods again. “You’ve dealt with it enough.”

Peeking around John, you see Matt on the ground and he groans loudly -- dramatically, really. You make eye contact with him and he gives the creepiest tight lipped smile you’ve ever seen, and you scrunch up your face.

“You’re __kidding__?” you move past John and stand in front of Matt, “You come into __my__  house, disrespect me, no, not only me, but Tess and Jimmy. This is their day, and here you are, trying your hardest to cause a scene. You tried to touch me inappropriately knowing damn well I have a boyfriend, and even if I didn’t, I have __never__ given you the impression that I’m interested in you. Yes, I went on a date with you, but that was it. It was a mistake, and I’ll completely take the blame for how stupid I was for agreeing to it.”

Matt laughs quietly as he shakes his head, “Okay.”

“That’s all you have to say?” you feel John bump into your backside as he moves to stand next to you and you scoot a little closer to him, “You need to apologize to John. You know you only did this to piss him off because apparently I chose him over you, which is honestly the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard in my entire life. Matt, I went out with you __once,__ it’s not like we had a full blown love affair.”

Matt looks up at you and laughs loudly, then he shakes his head, “No, I don’t. I don’t think I need to apologize to him.”

“I don’t know, man. I think I would.” Aurelio says, cracking his knuckles and Matt’s eyes grow wide.

“You realize who he is, right?” you ask, feeling pride overwhelm you. You know it’s so cliche to pull this card, but it feels good. So damn good. “He’s _ _John Wick__.”

“Man, fuck--” Matt gets cut off when John punches him across the face again.

“I don’t want see you around here.” John says, and the anger in his voice gives you shivers, “If you see her walking down the street, turn the other way. If she’s in the same grocery store as you, leave. If you ever talk to her again, she’ll tell me, and I promise it won’t end well for you. You won’t be able to walk away next time. I’m __allowing__  you to walk away.”

You’re trying your hardest not to dance around and flip Matt off, but it’s __very__  hard not to. He keeps his focus on John, and you can tell he’s afraid to even look at you at this point. John has made it perfectly clear that Matt isn’t allowed to be around you.

Matt spits blood onto the ground and wipes off his face as he stands back up, wobbling and teetering for a moment. He fixes his suit jacket and nods to you all, then he stumbles down the driveway with Aurelio trailing behind him. He starts to yell at Matt and you laugh when Matt starts to walk down the driveway a little faster.

You exhale loudly and tilt your head back as you laugh. Being in the front yard and away from all the lights, you can see the stars a little and you watch as a plane flies overhead.

You look back at John and laugh, “God, that was…liberating.”

Jimmy reaches out to hug you and he sighs, “Are you okay?”

“I am, yeah.” you nod and watch as John, Jimmy and Aurelio all stare at you. You start to laugh and nod again, “I’m fine, seriously. You three really didn’t need to do that. I mean, his face is…destroyed.”

“We did.” Aurelio says and he leans down to hug you. He smiles and pats John on the back, “Anything for Johnny.”

“Like Aurelio said, anything for John.” Jimmy says and hugs you again, “We’re family.”

“Jimmy, you’re __literally__  a police officer.”

“Not tonight.” he says and winks at you.

You watch John as he looks down at his hands, and he frowns as he looks up at you. He wants to hold you, but his hands are covered in blood.

“We’re gonna head back in, are you two okay?” Jimmy says as he slowly backs away with Aurelio.

John nods and waves as they walk back inside, and you reach out to fix his tie. He holds his hands out to the side and leans his body against yours, trying to feel you.

“Are you okay?”

John exhales and closes his eyes as he nods, “Yeah, are you?”

You walk with him to backyard, and John kneels down next to the garden hose, quickly cleaning the blood off of his hands. He shakes them dry and immediately reaches out to hug you. He holds you tight to his chest and presses a kiss to your head.

“Are you okay?” he whispers, hugging you closer, “You didn’t answer me.”

You nod your head and look up at John, “Yeah, actually I feel really fucking good. Being able to say all of that stuff to him, and knowing you had my back was really nice.”

“I’ll always have your back.” he says as you lean in closer to his face. John’s hands are warm on your back and he pulls you back into his arms, “I love you.”

“I love you.” you pat his cheek and smile, “You know I’m not mad at you, right? I just didn’t want you to __kill__  him. How would we explain the dead body in the front yard to the wedding guests?”

John laughs and nods his head, “That __would__  be hard to explain.”

You lean up closer to John’s face and kiss him, “That was so hot.”

“What?” he laughs, still pressing kisses to your lips.

“Yes!” you nod and let go of John, and you head for the back door when he wraps his arms around you waist, pulling you closer to his chest, “It was so fucking hot, John.”

He leans forward to see your face and he starts to smile, “Hot?”

You bite your lip and nod, “Yeah.”

“Bedroom?”

“Bathroom in the bedroom is probably better. More doors and walls.” you look at John and he smiles wide.

He takes your hand in his and he peeks his head through the door. The living room is crowded with people, but no one who will stop you from walking through. Tess and Jimmy are dancing around and everybody’s watching them as they clap.

You follow behind John up the stairs and you skip a little to the bathroom, almost too eager for this moment with him. John pulls you back into his arms and he holds you tight to his chest as he leans down to kiss him, full of passion and heat.

He backs away a little as he quickly unbuckles his pants and slides them down to his ankles, and you watch with a smile on your face. He touches your shoulders and starts to slide the lace sleeves of your dress down when you stop him.

“Don’t rip the sleeves, don’t rip the sleeves!” you yell, and you’re surprised by how fast he’s pulled it off without ripping it to shreds. He smiles when he notices you’re not wearing a bra, then he buries his face between your breasts and sighs loudly.

“Incredible.” he whispers, kissing up your chest to your neck.

You pull away from John to lock the door and when you turn around, you see John sitting on the toilet seat, slapping his thighs.

“No.” you laugh and John stands up, shuffling his way back over to you and you laugh even harder when you see his pants around his ankles. You push him back to sit on the toilet and kneel in front of him, “Can I?”

“You __definitely__ don't need to ask.” he laughs, and you watch his mouth drop open when you run your tongue over the tip of his cock and your mouth wraps around him. “ _ _Fuck__.”

You hum and slowly slide him out of your mouth, and John tilts his head back as he moans loudly. “Does that feel good? My mouth around your big cock?” 

“Yes,” he nods and put his hand in your hair, moving you up and down his cock, “Feels great. __Just__  like that, yeah...” he moans and you lick your lips again and run your tongue over the tip of his cock, sucking gently and watching John as he tries his hardest to keep his eyes open to watch you. His eyes eventually roll shut and he starts to laugh as he pulls himself out of your mouth.

“Why are you laughing at me?” you say quietly, feeling slightly embarrassed.

“Because you want me so badly, it kind of amazes me.” he says and laughs even harder when you take him back into your mouth, “Don't finish me.”

“Why? I want to taste you...” you start to smirk and John leans forward resting his forehead against yours, “I want to feel you in my throat and on my tongue.”

“Yeah, but I want you.” he says and helps you stand back up. “Wanna feel __you.__ ”

__“__ _ _Me?__ _ _”__  you tease and turn around, shaking your ass in John's face. He stands up straight and brings his hand up to cup your ass.

“Take off your dress.”

“I don't want to take it off.” you walk over and look at yourself in the mirror, smiling when you hear John's belt scrapping on the floor from him waddling over.

“It’s already half-way off anyway.” he stands behind you and wraps his arms around your waist, and you can feel his cock against your ass. The two of you watch his hands move up your waist to your breasts and he smiles as he squeezes them in his hands.

You smile and start to lean over the bathroom counter, and you look up in the mirror to see John with his mouth open in shock. “I need you, baby.”

He laughs and starts to pull up your dress, “In your dress though? Are you sure?”

“Yes, I'm sure.”

He pulls your dress up and laughs again, “You _ _are__  wearing underwear, you liar.”

“I know, I just wanted to see your reaction.” you say, laughing. “I wore some good ones, didn’t I?”

“Yeah, I love these. They’re sexy.” he says, pressing kisses along the waistband over your underwear. You feel John pull them to the side and he moans when he feels how wet you are. “You're so fucking wet.”

You look up at John through the mirror and moan as he slowly inserts two fingers. Keeping eye contact with John, he flicks his fingers and hits your hidden spot, and he smiles when you moan loudly.

“Fuck me, __please__.” you say and he inches his way closer. You bite your lip in anticipation, wanting him more and more, and John starts to smile as he stops moving. “I know what you’re doing.”

“You need me, right?”

You nod and close your eyes, “I need you. I need you now.”

With one hard thrust, he's fully inside and he gives you a moment to adjust to his girth. You prop your head up with your hands and watch as John closes his eyes, thrusting hard and the bathroom fills with the sound of John's hips hitting your ass.

“Fuck, I love your ass so much.” he looks down to watch your ass jiggle and lets out a loud moan as he tilts his head back.

“John, I have never been more turned on than I am right now.” you laugh, then moan as his thrusts pick up speed.

“Yeah, I can feel that.” he says, reaching around to rub your clit and you quiver.

“When you punched him...” you moan loudly and cover your mouth with your hand, “Fuck, it was so hot.”

“How about when you slapped him?” he grips your hips tight and you hear him grunt. “I was so proud of you, baby.”

His right hand trails up your back, wrapping lightly around your throat and he pulls you up until you're flush against his chest. John is still thrusting hard and you rest your knee up against the counter to give him a better angle. You use the sink for support as he thrusts deep, slowing down and you both moan as you tilt your head back against his chest to kiss him.

“Fuck me harder, John...or should I say Baba Yaga? That’s who was downstairs. That’s the man who was punching him.” you look in the mirror to check his reaction and he smiles. “Wasn’t it?”

“It was.”

His face is inches from yours and his lips brush against the bridge of your nose as your eyes roll shut, and you moan when you feel him grip your hair. He grunts again, still thrusting hard and moves his hand out of your hair and onto your breast, then he moans and lays you back over the counter.

You let out a loud wail and squeeze your eyes shut, almost in disbelief from how good his cock feels sliding in and out. Gripping tight to the counter, you gasp as John pulls out.

“What are you doing?” you almost yell, turning around.

“I gotta kiss you.”

In a matter of seconds, his lips are on your mouth, wet and warm. His hands are in your hair and you know he's messing it up, but right now, you really don't give a shit. He sits on the toilet seat and helps hold up your dress as you straddle him and slide down his cock, and you lean your forehead against his, shivering.

He wraps his arms around you tight as you bounce up and down, both moaning loudly and not caring if anyone can hear you. The bathroom is quiet and every time you roll your hips, you can hear the sound of your slickness on John's cock.

“I love the way you sound grinding on me. So wet. All for __me__.” he murmurs and his hands travel down to your hips, slowing you down, “Take your time, baby.”

You squeeze your eyes shut and run your fingers through John's hair, grabbing a fist full as you rock your hips. His hair is damp with sweat and you lean your forehead against his, both breathing heavily. His hands caress every inch of you, gently sliding down your back and sneaking under your dress to feel your skin under his fingertips.

“I love the way you touch me, gives me shivers.” you say, rolling your hips fast again. Your nerves are pulled tight and you know you're going to come at any minute.

“Say my name, baby.” he buries his face in your neck and sucks lightly, moving his lips to various places so he doesn't leave behind any marks.

“John.” you moan his name loudly and feel John smiling against your neck.

He leans back against the toilet and pulls your dress up to watch as you bounce on him, “I love watching you spread open for me.” he says and rubs his index and middle finger against your pussy, then puts them in his mouth, “So fucking delicious.”

“Keep going,” you nod and lean your head against his shoulder, “Keep talking to me.”

“Such a good girl.” John mutters, then watches your face for your reaction, and he lets out a small laugh when you bite your lip and close your eyes.

“I like that.”

John's eyes soften and he leans forward to kiss you, “I'm so happy I met you.”

“Oh, so we’re done with the whole dirty talk thing?” you say, then you laugh when you see John’s cheeks turn pink. “You make me so happy, I truly have never felt this happy in my life.”

“God, I fucking _ _love__  you!” he says loudly, and you know that if there's anyone in your room, they'll have heard him. 

“John, you know just how to take care of me.” you whimper against his chest, inching your way to an orgasm.

He moans loudly as he begins to twitch, nearing his end, but clearly trying his best to hold it off. He quickly stands up, holding tight to you and sets you on the bathroom sink, still thrusting hard as you both moan.

“Keep doing that.” you whimper and lean back in to kiss him. Your body jolts from the pleasure you and you let out a string of moans against his lips. “Fill me up, Mr. Wick.”

“I'm...I’m gonna come, fuck, I’m gonna come.” he whispers against your chest. He jerks his hips rapidly and his hair falls in his face as he comes, moaning so loud it echoes throughout the bathroom.

You close your eyes and lean against his shoulder, humming as he jerks his hips every few seconds, and you shiver from the sudden rush of warmth between your legs. His movements still and the two of you sit there breathlessly kissing each other. You both start to laugh and he pulls back to look at you, and he helps pull your sleeves back on.

“No bra?”

You shake your head and laugh, “It’s like…built in. I mean, come on, look at the back of this thing.”

“Mr. Wick?” he asks, shuffling over to the linen closet to grab a wash cloth and tosses it to you.

“Good girl?” you say, cocking up an eyebrow. 

John’s cheeks turn red and he smiles, “Yeah, did you like it?”

“ _ _Loved__ it.” You're still sensitive, but the damp cloth is soothing. You gently pat between your legs, noticing how red they are from riding John and clean off what he has left behind. “I know you like when I call you Mr. Wick.”

John stands there for a moment with his hands on his hips, and his cock is still hard and glistening from both of you. “I really do, or when you just call me Wick. That’s really cute. Jonathan is still my favorite though, I like the way you say it.”

“Baba Yaga?” you laugh and hand the rag to John.

“Yeah, can I be honest?” he starts to laugh and quickly cleans himself off, then he pulls his pants back around his waist, “I don’t…really like that. I don’t want to be that anymore. I haven’t wanted to be _ _that__  for a long time.”

You smile softly, “You just want to be Jonathan Wick?”

“Yeah,” he nods and throws the rag into the laundry basket next to the door, “I just want to be John.”

“ _ _My__  John.” you reach out for John’s hands and pull him closer, “I totally get that. But it’s still hot.”

He laughs loudly and shakes his head as he leans down to kiss you, “That was pretty fun, huh?”

“Felt a little... _ _dangerous__. With all the people downstairs.” you turn around and when you see your hair, you laugh loudly. “Wow, you...uh, really messed this up. I had it perfectly curled and everything.”

John stands behind you and looks at his hair falling into his face. He takes a brush from the drawer and carefully starts to brush the knot out of your hair, then presses a kiss to your head and smiles, “There. You look beautiful. I've told you that already tonight, but you look __absolutely__  beautiful. You took my breath away when I saw you.”

“You look really beautiful today as well, Mr. Wick.” you say and lean against John's chest, tilting your head back to meet his lips for a kiss.

“I look like this all the time. You never wear stuff like this – and I love that about you, don’t get me wrong -- but seeing you in this dress...” John bucks his hips against your ass again and you bite your lip to hide a smile. “I could get used to you in white.”

“It’s not white, it’s pale pink.” you laugh and watch as he combs his hair, leaving it fluffy instead of combing it back like he had had earlier tonight.

The smile on John’s face fades and you know he’s thinking about what happened in the kitchen and in the front yard. You turn around and fix his shirt, avoiding eye contact in hopes that you can steer clear of the Matt conversation that you know he's dying to have.

“Can we talk about it?” John asks, timidly.

You swallow hard and nod, “Yeah.”

“Let's go sit down.” he gestures to the door and wraps his arms around your waist, walking with you and pressing kisses to your cheek.  

When you turn the corner, you see Leah standing in front of your dresser holding a picture of you and John. Her face twists up in disgust and she exhales loudly looking over at the two of you. 

“Um, hi. What are you doing in here?” you ask and pull John's arms around you tighter.

“You two should be quieter. Your mother could have heard you moaning like animals.” she spits out, looking you up and down.

“She's outside... _ _for the wedding__ , like everyone else. And I doubt she would think to come into my bedroom and stand here listening to me and my boyfriend.”

Leah stands there staring at you for a minute, then looks at John, “Why do you even like her? I think you can do better. You know, last time she had a serious boyfriend--”

“Are you seriously doing this?” you ask and Leah continues looking at John. “How old __are__ you? Leah, I put it past me, I decided to give you another chance and be as nice as I could be to you even though you fucked me over.”

“Well, he never wanted you anyway. I mean, __clearly.__ ” she laughs, and you try to move out of John's arms, but he grips you tighter to keep you in place.

“I don't care whether he wanted me or not. You know, I've never been anything but nice to you. It's a little cliché to be the evil step sister, don't you think?”

“I'm not your sister.” she walks closer and John steps back, still holding onto you. “Seriously, why do you like her? You deserve better than her.”

“ _ _Why do you even care?__  I don't get why you're __so__  damn concerned about my life. There are plenty of pathetic men who would be willing to date you, but you always go after my boyfriends.” you hold tight to John's hand and hate that you're starting to tear up. “You can't have him, he doesn't want you. You're immature, rude, and you’re incredibly mean, not only to me, but to my mom and Tess. I’m tired of biting my tongue about it.”

“You're such a bitch.” she spits, and you can see she’s on the verge of tears.

“And I don’t care if that’s how you feel. Fuck you for coming here and doing this. You’re so fucking disrespectful and rude for this, Leah. I’m sorry, but whether you like or not, your dad is in love with my mom, and that’s not going to change. You need to accept that.”

“You are __such__ a fucking bitch.” she says as a tear falls down her cheek.

When Leah takes another step towards you, John lets go and moves to stand between the two of you. He towers over Leah and you can see her getting scared. John would never hurt her, you know that, but he _ _is__ scary – terrifying, really. If she knew what had just happened in the kitchen and front yard, she __definitely__  wouldn’t be standing here trying to argue with you.

“I won't allow you to sit here and speak to her like that. You need to either apologize, or you can leave our house.”

When you look at Leah, your gazes meet and you smirk in triumph. You’re not one for confrontation, but after the night you’ve had, you’re not in the mood for Leah’s antics. She's speechless and she huffs loudly as she leaves the room, slamming the door on the way out.

“Well,” you exhale, half laughing and sit on the bed, “Tonight just keeps getting better and better.”

John lets out a small laugh and stands in front of you, “Maybe we should introduce Leah and Matt, they can obsess over you together.”

“Jonathan.” you put your head in your hands and huff, “I really hope Tess doesn't know about any of this.”

John opens the door, peeking around the corner and you're shocked when he laughs, “No, looks like Jimmy is drunk and of course, dancing. Tess is watching and she seems completely oblivious to this.”

“Why me?” you flop back on the bed and John laughs as he walks back to you. “I don’t bother anyone, I don’t do anything wrong. I’m quiet. I’m pretty nice, I think. I just go to work, hang out with you, Tess and Jimmy, but shit like this happens to me. What kind of bad karma is this?”

“You’re a little spitfire tonight.” he laughs and hovers over you on the bed, brushing his lips against yours, “I kinda like this side of you. It’s sexy. That fiery little temper you got, mmm.”

“Shut up.” you laugh loudly as you push John off of you, “I’m being serious.”

John pulls you to sit back up and he reaches out to brush his fingers against your cheek, “Baby, you are nice. And you __didn’t__ do anything wrong. None of this is your fault.”

You rest your head in your hands again and sigh loudly, “I'm so sorry that tonight has been so shitty for us.”

“It's been good, we've just had a few...hiccups.” he laughs and sits next to you. He nudges your shoulder and nods to the bathroom, “It's been __really__ good. And what's a wedding without a little drama, right?”

“I've brought so much drama into your life.” you sigh and rest your head against his shoulder. 

“You've brought drama into __my__  life? Do I need to remind you of my past?” he laughs and you feel it vibrate through his body.

You start to laugh as you nod, “Yeah, you’re right.”

He intertwines his fingers with yours and leans forward to look at you. He sees the tears on your face and gets off the bed to kneel in front of you. “Baby, don't listen to her. Don't listen to anyone. __I love you__.”

“I know, it's just hard. She’s always __hated__ my mom, and I just…I don’t know, I felt like I couldn’t let her continue to treat us all like shit.” you look down at your hands, then back to John. “And…she stole my boyfriend from me before, and yes, he _ _was__  an ass, but he was still my boyfriend. Part of me thinks that she’s trying to do the same with you, just to piss me off even more.”

“Oh, trust me, she's not stealing me from you. I don't like her... _ _at all__ , I think she’s a spoiled brat. No one could ever steal me from you.” John says and cups your face, “I'm crazy about you, and I __know__ you know that.”

You start to laugh and lean forward to kiss John, “Yeah, okay, so maybe I do know.” You both laugh and you see John look down at his fist again, looking it over. “You still wanna know what happened with Matt?”

He sighs and nods, “Only if you want to tell me.”

“Okay, well, I just saw him in the kitchen, I don't know what he was doing. He said he didn't know it was our house, and that he came with a date – Zoe, I guess. He told me how he was jealous of you because you can kiss me and...touch me when you want.” you shiver with disgust and look at John. The anger on his face from before is there again and he stares at you, listening to every word. “Said he wanted to kiss me. So, he just...tried, and then that’s when you walked in.”

John takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly. He looks down at your fingers intertwined, then looks up at you, “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I'm fine.” you gesture to the bathroom and laugh, “Obviously. I just…don’t know what would have happened if you hadn’t walked in.” you wipe away the tears on your face and close your eyes, “I’m really grateful for you.”

John is on his knees in front of you and pulls you down to kiss him, “I'm so sorry, I should have been with you.”

“John, I went in to get a bottle of water. It's not your fault that Matt showed up here.” you say and look down at his hands as you frown.

“He upset you, he __hurt__ you. It's okay, he deserved to get punched in the face, he deserves more than that actually. Don’t you dare feel bad about it either.” he looks down and kisses the palm of your hand. “I was so proud of you for slapping him.”

“It was a total reflex, my hand hurt so bad after.” you laugh and look down at your hand as John presses another kiss to it. 

“Remind me to never piss you off.” he laughs.

“I’d never slap you!”

“Good. It looked painful.” he says as he presses a kiss to your hand again.

You smile at John and cup his face, “I really hope you don’t think I said those things to him. Like I’d rather be with him than with you, that I made a mistake, or any of the other disgusting things he was saying. I hope you know I’d never do that.”

“Of course.” he says, quietly.

“As soon as he said that, I just __reacted.__ ” you say and John smiles at you. “I love you. I would never think being with you was a mistake, you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I don’t know where he get the whole me choosing you over him thing either, because there was never any competition. I’ve already told you, but it’s always been you. It will __alway__ s be you.”

“I know, baby.” John smiles at you again and nods his head. He leans forward to hug you, holding onto you for dear life and buries his face in the crook of your neck. “Had he done anything to you, I would've killed him. Still considering it, actually.”

“Do you think he'll press charges or something?”

John shakes his head and kisses your hand, “I doubt it. And if he does, who cares. Nobody fucks with you and gets away with it.”

“Clearly. You're so protective of me.” you smile softly and lean forward, kissing him and he crawls on top of you.

He cups your cheek and presses his lips to your forehead, “Of course. I promise I'll always protect you, no matter what.”

“I have a question. Well, two actually.”

He laughs and sits back up, kneeling in front of you again, “Okay.”

“If you were to just, you know…” you throw your hands up carelessly, “Kill Matt...”

“Oh, God.” he starts to laugh and stands up, “How would I do it?”

You nod and suck on your bottom lip, hiding a laugh, “Yeah.”

“My hands.” he says, simple and straightforward. You gulp and nod your head, then fan yourself as John laughs for a moment. He stares at you, then kneels in front of you again. “Question two...”

“What were you saying to him, oh, and to me? It was Russian, obviously.”

John starts to laugh and you watch his cheeks turn pink, “Um, just that...”

“John...” you rest your elbows on your knees and prop your head up, “I'm intrigued.”

“I was just saying that I wanted to...kill him for not listening to you, for trying to touch you.” he says and you point to yourself. “And you, I just…I was just asking if you were okay.”

“How many languages do you know?”

John squints his eyes as he thinks, and he counts and recounts on his fingers for a few moments before he shrugs, “I don’t know.”

“Well, I know that you know English, Russian, Italian, and…oh, sign language.” you smile wide at John and pat his cheek, “So talented.”

John leans into the palm of your hand and he sighs, “I should have been there.”

“Jonathan! I literally went into our _ _kitchen__. You can't follow me everywhere.”

“I know, but I wish I could.” he sighs.

“God, aren't you sick of me yet?” you say, half joking and he cups your face in his hands, completely captivated by you.

“Stop saying I'm going to get sick of you. I could have you for rest of my life and it still wouldn't be enough. I want you forever.”

The two of you stare at each other for a minute and you reach out to touch his face. “We should probably get back outside, Tess is probably wondering where we are.”

__

Walking hand in hand with John back out to the party, Tess runs up to you and hugs you. She grabs your other hand and gestures to the guest bedroom.

“Can I talk to you?” she asks and smiles up at John as he lets go your hand.

“Of course.” you nod and look up at John. He leans over and leaves a sweet kiss on your forehead before heading out to the patio.

Tess shuts the door and locks it behind her, “Holy shit!”

“You know?” you ask as you sit on the bed. “I'm so sorry. I get it if you're, like...incredibly mad at me for ruining your wedding. I didn't want this to happen, and I definitely didn't want you to find out.”

Your voice breaks a little and Tess sits down next to you on the bed, reaching out for your hand, “I'm not mad at you at all, are you kidding me? Matt was in the wrong, why would you even think I would be mad at you? If I had been in there, I would have done the same thing John did.”

You look up at Tess and smile weakly, “I don't know, I just didn't want to ruin your big day.”

“It definitely was not ruined. If anything, it spiced it up a little. Hearing that John beat the shit out of Matt made me so fucking happy, you have no idea. Jimmy was like…out of breath trying to tell me. Then I went up to your room to talk to you and...”

“Oh, my god!” you hide your face in your hands and laugh.

“See, I just __knew__  he was good.” Tess nudges you with her shoulder and laughs. “You two are uh...very vocal.”

“Gosh, how long were you standing there?”

“Uh, long enough to hear him scream that he loves you. And I also heard a few other things, you two...are, __wow__ , dirty.”

“Oh, __h__ _ _ardly__.” you laugh and shake your head.

“Well, I might have to use some of those lines on Jimmy.”

“Listen, you can't blame me.” you say, pointing at her.

“Oh, definitely not.” she looks at you as she gets off the bed, “Are you okay though?”

“Yeah, John made me feel better.” you look up at Tess and start to laugh again. “No, I didn't mean it that way.”

“Sure.” she smirks and lightly touches your arm.

“Oh, my god. __Mom__. Does she know?” you ask and Tess shakes her head.

“No, she's been talking to every person here and trying her hardest to get her hands on Harper.” she laughs, “She wants to hold her so bad, but I steal her away every time. Gotta get some practice in.”

“Yeah, John was like that when we watched Benji and Harper. One time he literally _ _ran away__  from me while he was holding her.” you laugh, “Jerk.”

Tess reaches into her bag on the floor and pulls out a small square box. “Oh, I uh…got you something. It’s nothing big, but I saw it and thought you’d like it. Since you’re my sister and all, I thought you should get a gift on my wedding day, too. I think that’s like…the thing you do, I don’t know. But I already gave mom a necklace.”

She shakes her head, realizing that she’s rambling. She hands the box to you and you open it to see a ring: a blue sapphire with two small diamonds on each side.

“Tess,” you look up at her and she smiles wide. “This is beautiful.”  

“Yeah, I thought blue because well, your favorite color is blue.” she sits next to you and takes it out of the box. “And of course because of Bleu, your baby. The two diamonds could be us, or you and John. Wow, that was…so fucking corny.”

You slide it onto your ring finger and smile, “Fits perfectly.”

“Maybe this ring will help light a fire under John’s ass.” she says and you both laugh.

“Thank you. This means a lot to me, I really love it.” you say, looking down at your ring, then back to Tess. “I really love __you__.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, maybe I love you too.” she laughs. She exhales loudly and claps her hands, “Let's get back out there, shall we?”

People have already begun to leave and Tess quickly walks to the door to say goodbye to everyone. You watch as she hugs Jimmy’s mom tight and she cups Tess’ face, kissing her on the forehead. It’s nice to know that Tess has another mom who will absolutely adore her.

You smile to yourself as you walk back out onto the patio, a glass of bourbon in hand for John. He immediately opens his arms to hold you, and you sit in his lap even though he’s talking to Aurelio. They’re talking about John’s car, so you focus on the last few people dancing.

John looks down at the drink in your hand and laughs, “Kind of a hard drink for you.”

“Oh, no…it’s for you,” you say and hand it to John, “Figured you needed it, well, more like you deserved it.”

“That’s very nice of you.” he says and takes a big drink of it, then gives it back to you. “Have a sip.”

“Thanks.” you say and squeeze your eyes shut as you swallow, feeling the alcohol warming your stomach.

“Look at Benji and Harper.” John says, pointing at Benji dancing with Jimmy. Amanda is dancing around with Harper and she’s giggling loudly.

“So damn cute. Aurelio, we __adore__  your kids.” you say and look back at Aurelio. “Honestly anytime you want us to watch them, even if you and Amanda just want a date night, please call us.”

“We’ll definitely take you up on that offer. Benji hasn’t stopped talking about you two.” he laughs and sits up a little, “Said you let him in play in the rain with the dog.”

“Oh gosh, yeah. That was a fun day. Then when it got a little later and the storm got worse, Benji knocked on our door and he was __terrified,__ so we all piled into our bed and watched a movie.” you laugh and look over at Benji as he dances.

Aurelio nods and smiles, “Thunderstorms…he hates them.”

“And Harper…oh, my god.” you point at John and laugh, “He adores her.”

“She’s beautiful, definitely got it from her mom.” Aurelio laughs and waves at Benji. “She’s a happy baby.”

“Loves to snuggle, too.” you say and look at John, “I just wanted to hold her constantly, but when John is around, she wants nothing to do with me.”

“She’s the same with Amanda. Definitely a daddy’s girl.” Aurelio looks at John and laughs, “She’s starting to talk, too. Says dad all the time, says it to anything that moves.”

“I told you he’s heard it already!” you say and playfully hit John’s shoulder, “She did call him dad. Literally killed me. John was so worried that you hadn’t heard it yet.”

“Uncle John!” Benji calls out to John and waves at him.

“Oh, looks like someone wants to dance with you.” you say and John holds tight to you as he stands up.

“You’re coming with me.” he pulls you back into the thinning crowd and Benji reaches out for your hand.

The three of you dance in a circle as you laugh, and you look up to see pure happiness on John’s face and it’s hard to ignore. He’s making silly faces at Benji, causing him to laugh hysterically and when John looks up at you, you smile wide.

Tess joins in, holding Harper and she hugs her tight to her chest as she sways back and forth. The song slows down and Tess kneels down to talk to Benji.

“Mr. Benji, would you like to dance with the bride?” she asks, and Benji begins to blush as he nods his head. Tess stands up at looks at you, then looks at John and hands Harper to him.

“Okay, I’m not offended or anything.” you say sarcastically, and Tess laughs as she walks away. Harper laughs and wiggles in John’s arms, and he bounces his knees along to the music. You try to fight the huge smile spreading across your face, but it’s impossible. “I guess I’ve been replaced.”

John reaches out for your hand and wraps an arm around your waist, “Never. Dance with us.”

Harper squeals loudly and kicks her leg, barely missing your face and you laugh, “I bet she’s getting ready to walk, probably in the next month or so.”

“How do you know this stuff?”

You look up at John and shrug, “I don’t know.”

Your mom walks over and taps on your shoulder, “Can I hold her? I’ve been __dying__  all night, and everyone is leaving so I’m sure she’ll be leaving soon.”

“Yeah!” John hands Harper to your mom and watches as she walks over to sit next to Aurelio and Amanda. “Will you dance with me?” John is smiling so beautifully, it melts your insides. “This is probably the last song, the DJ is already packing up his stuff.”

John’s left hand is firm on your lower back and he takes your hand into his, pulling you closer to him as you sway to the music.

“You look really beautiful under these lights.” he whispers, pressing a kiss to your ear.

“I say we keep them up,” you tilt your head back to look at the lights hanging over you and look back at John. “What do you say?”

“I agree, I like them. They make the backyard look nice.”

“Well, and I mean, with you saying I look beautiful under them, there’s no way I’m making you take them down now. I want __all__  the compliments I can get.” you laugh and lean your head against John’s chest.

The two of you sway back and forth to the music and you close your eyes as John leans his head against yours, “Hey.”

“What?” you say with your head still against John’s chest and he pulls your chin up to meet his gaze.

He smiles tenderly at you, leaning close to your face, “Tonight has been really good. I’m happy we had the wedding here, and I’m really happy you were my date.”

You lick your lips and look back to your mom who is still focused on Harper, and you lean up to kiss John, deep and desperately. He starts to laugh a little, and you're both out of breath and it amazes you how much the two of you want each other almost constantly. You lean your forehead against John’s and start laughing.

“Yeah, I __had__  asked a few other guys if they’d be my date, but for some reason, they all turned me down. Hate to break it to you, but going with you as my date was my last resort.” you joke and John laughs loudly.

“Any guy who turns you down is a _ _complete__  idiot.” his grip on your waist tightens and he hugs you to close to him.

“I love you so fucking much.” you say and jump a little when you feel another hand on your shoulder.

Jimmy wraps his arms around both you and John, clinging to you for support, “You two, this is...you two are beautiful…um…people! Beautiful people.” John reaches out to hold Jimmy up and he leans on John's shoulder. “John, you should...m-marry her. You already told me you want to marry her.”

Grinning, you look up at John and cover your mouth as you start to laugh. “Well Jimmy, since you have all the inside scoop and you're just...spilling the beans, tell me what John thought of me when he first met me.”

“Oh, man. He was so in love with you.” He hiccups and you look at John, laughing. “I had to convince him to talk to you, he thought he wasn't good enough for you. John, dude…you’re so cool, man. You’re the __man__ , man. You’re a good dude.”

“He’s right.” you say, pointing at Jimmy. He stumbles back a bit, and you and John both reach out to keep him from falling over. “We should take him inside. Almost everyone is gone, it’s just Amanda, Aurelio, the kids and mom now.”

“Jimmy, you are very drunk.” John hurls Jimmy over his shoulder and carries him inside as Jimmy continues to talk to you.

“He loves you __so__  much. He wants to marry you.” Jimmy points at you and waves you over., “You probably don't know this, but John would...like...” he hiccups again and you laugh. “He would walk past your house to get your attention.”

“He did __not__.” You already know all of this, but you hope that Jimmy will let something else slip out.

“He did!” he says loudly and nods, “He would walk Bleu, like…three times a day just he could see you. He said you were literally the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.”

“Jimmy,” John scolds him as he sets him on the couch. “She knows all of this.”

“Does she know that you found out where she worked and you would go in there all the time just to see her?”

“Ooh, I didn't know that.” you look at John and push him, “You would come into the shop to stalk me?”

“I didn't stalk you! It’s a bookshop, I _ _like__  books!”

“And he likes you.” Jimmy chines in. 

John’s cheeks flush with color and he looks at Jimmy, shaking his head. “You were never there when I went in.”

You raise your eyebrows and cross your arms, “ _ _Never?__ ”

“Okay, you were there a few times.”

“Oh, we’re __so__  talking about this later.” You laugh as you look back down at Jimmy. He sits up straight on the couch punching the air, and you look at John and watch him laughing.

“I shoulda kicked Matt's ass. __I__ shoulda punched him. Messing with my best friend’s girl like that.”

You look at John again and see him smiling a little. You can't help but laugh at Jimmy as he weakly punches the air. “You were gonna kick his ass for me?”

“I was, but John got there first. I was gonna take care of him.” he says, voice straining as he continues punching the air.

John starts to laugh loudly and he puts his arm around your shoulder, pulling you closer as if to protect you. You both watch as Jimmy slowly stops punching the air and lays back on the couch, closing his eyes.

“And he's out.”

“It's okay, he can stay here.” John says and looks up as Tess walks into the living room.

“Damn it, James!” Tess says and frowns when she sees Jimmy fast asleep on the couch.

“You can stay here, Tess. You can have our bed.” John says and points to your bedroom.

“I couldn't do that. I can just…” she looks around and points at the chair, “I can take the chair.”

“ _ _Absolutely not__. You're pregnant, you can't sleep in a chair.” John says and points to your room again, “You're taking our bed.”

“Where will you two sleep?” she asks and sits down in the chair, rubbing her stomach. “Isn't mom in your guest room?”

“We redid the spare room and changed it into another guest room, which was perfect because look what happened.” you look up at John and stick out your tongue, “Told you we’d need more room. But Tess, you should still take our room, our bed is probably way more comfortable.”

“Are you sure?” she asks, wringing her hands with worry.

“Tess, who the hell are you?” you laugh and kick her foot.

“I just don’t want to put you two out.”

“You’re not putting us out, we promise.” John says and rubs his hand over your back. “Seriously, take our bed. It’s really comfortable.”

“I think this baby is softening you, Tess.” you laugh and rub her belly, “You’re making your mommy a big softie.”

“Oh _ _, definitely__  not. I’m still gonna be me, the me you know and love.” she laughs and taps her belly. She looks at Jimmy, then back to John, “Can you carry him to your room?”

John picks Jimmy up like he's weightless and he carries him up the stairs. Tess looks at you and fans herself, following behind John.

“That's really fucking hot, John.” she says, still fanning herself.

“He’s very strong.” you chime in and John laughs. “Muscle man.”

“Stop it.” John laughs and drops Jimmy to the bed.

Standing in the doorway, you watch Tess as she takes off Jimmy's jacket and shoes. You walk over to the dresser, pulling out some shorts and a shirt for Tess to sleep in. You grab your pajamas from the bottom drawer and make sure to grab your robe for the morning.

“Do you want a change of clothes for tomorrow?” you ask John and he shakes his head.

“I got some stuff in the laundry room, you do too.” he says, and you decide to just grab your pajamas.

Tess walks over to John and throws her arms around him, thanking him profusely, “Thank you for everything, John. The money, letting us have the wedding here, for protecting her today. Thank you so much. You’re __such__  a good man. Thank you for introducing me to Jimmy. Thank you for _ _everything__.”

“Of course.” John says and Tess leans up to kiss his cheek, then she pulls the two of you into a group hug.

“I love you guys so much.” she starts to sniffle and you pull away to look at her. “I'm sorry, I'm tired and pregnant, okay?”

“Hey, I'm gonna go make sure everyone is gone, then check on Bleu. Goodnight to the bride...and groom, I guess.” John laughs as he leaves the room.

“Guess I can't consummate my marriage.” Tess says, laughing as she turns around to look at Jimmy.

Jimmy starts to move around and opens his eyes, smiling, “I'm awake.”

“Oh, god.” you laugh and cover your eyes. “Okay, I'm out. Don't be loud please. Keep in mind there are other people in the house. Mom and Dan are already in bed, so please be quiet.”

“Okay, you too. I know you and John probably have sex like…every night.” she leans close to you and whispers, “And I don't blame you.”

“ _ _Anyway__ , goodnight.” you laugh and head for the door, “See you two in the morning.”

 

 

 


	49. Chapter 49

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **warnings:** nsfw, slight john wick chapter 3 spoiler

The floor in the living room creaks as John walks throughout the house locking up all the doors and making sure everyone is gone. You’re already in the guest bedroom, praying like hell the bed is semi-comfortable for you and John, even if it was the most uncomfortable bed, John would  _never_  complain. You, on the other hand, would definitely complain about it.

Bleu pushes the door open with his snout and wags his tail when he sees you. He sniffs the bed a few times, then he groans loudly as he lays at your feet. The lights in the living room go dark, and John’s footsteps get closer as he appears in the doorway.

He leans against the door frame and exhales, “All locked up, and all the lights are off. I did leave on the light above the stove though, just in case someone needs some water or something in the night.”

“Oh, good idea actually. Dan usually gets up in the night for some water.” you say as you watch John start to undress. He throws his dress shirt on the bed and you get out from under the covers and put it on, leaving it unbuttoned, “I’m cold.”

“Well, it looks good.” he says and leans back against the headboard of the bed. He pats the spot between his legs and points at your foot, “You said earlier tonight that your feet hurt.”

“They hurt so bad.” you whimper as you crawl in between John’s legs and rest your feet in his lap.

“Look how tiny your feet are.” he holds up your foot, then puts his hand next to it for comparison, “Tiny.”

“Rub them, Jonathan!” you whine, playfully.

“They also stink.” he says, holding it up to his nose as he laughs and you wiggle your foot out of his grasp. “I’m just kidding.”

“You’re so gross.” you say, closing your eyes when John rubs his thumb into the arch of your foot. He pushes his thumb hard against the knot in your foot, working it loose and you gasp loudly, “Oh, my  _god_ , that feels so good.”

“Shh!” John laughs, “Someone will hear you.”

You look at John, cocking up an eyebrow as you open your mouth to moan loudly, but you don’t when his face turns bright red. He continues massaging your foot, and you watch as he starts to smile.

“What’s goin’ on?”

John looks up at you and shakes his head, “Nothing.”

“I don’t believe you,” you say, almost singing, “Tell me.”

“I just want to thank you.”

“For what?” you ask, tilting your head.

“For everything. For…” he clears his throat and swallows hard, “For giving me a family.”

“You consider Tess and Jimmy your family?”  

“Yeah, your mom too.” he nods and smiles at you, “Your mom is so nice to me, and when I picked her up from the airport, it was so…natural between us. And Dan, he’s cool. It’s just nice having them be so accepting of me. And your mom trusts me so much with you, so that makes me feel really good. I mean, you’re out here on your own, then you moved in with me and she immediately accepted it and…” he leans closer and whispers, “I think she likes me. I think she thinks I’m good for you.”

“Of course she does! John, she  _loves_  you. When I talk to her on the phone, the first thing she asks about is you. She really likes you a lot. She goes on  _and_ on about how good you are for me.” you watch John as he smiles wide, then it slowly fades. “Did Helen’s family not like you?”

John shakes his head, “Conversation for another night I suppose.”

“Got it.” you laugh and get up to move to sit next to John.

“Tess is like that really annoying little sister I always wanted when I was younger.” he laughs as he wraps his arm around your shoulder.

“Oh, god,  _I_   _know_.” you laugh, “Except she’s my annoying big sister. It’s good to have her. I tend to think I deserve the awful things people say to me, so I’m not the best at sticking up for myself, but Tess, she’s _great_  at sticking up for me.”

John brushes his thumb against your cheek to get you to look up at him, and he smiles sweetly, “You know you don’t deserve the awful things people say to you though, right? And I’ll always be here to remind you of that.”

“Yeah.” you nod and lean up to meet John’s lips for a tender kiss. “So, I have you, Tess, and Jimmy now. Seems like a good trio to me.”

“Yeah, Jimmy really cares about you.” he nods and looks down at you, “Kept asking if you were going to be okay when you were talking to Tess. He was so worried, and he felt so bad because Matt had come with his cousin.”

“Well, that’s not his fault. It’s not _her_ fault either. I’m sure she had no idea who he was, and I’m sure once she finds out, she won’t be going out with him again.”

“Oh, definitely not. Jimmy already talked to her and she was disgusted. She was asking if you were okay, too. That family…worries a lot.” he laughs and presses a kiss to the top of your head as he hugs you, “She told me to hug you for her, so…”

“That’s sweet.” you hug John, then intertwine your fingers with his and sigh, “Can I ask you a question? You can totally say no, I won’t be upset.”

“You can ask me anything.” he says, leaning down to kiss your forehead.

“Did you ever look for your family? You have the resources and the money…”

He nods his head slowly, almost like he knew you were going to ask. He starts to shake his head and looks at you, “No, I never did.”

“Really?” you tilt your head back to look at him and he nods.

“Nope, just figured since they didn’t want me, I shouldn’t waste my time looking for them.” he says, looking down at you, “I’ve made peace with that.”

 _They didn’t want him._ You feel your heart break at the thought of John being so young and not understanding why his parents gave him up.

“Maybe they couldn’t keep you. Maybe it was a really  _unfortunate_  situation.” you say, trying to play devil’s advocate. “Maybe…she was really young and just couldn’t take care of a kid. We don’t know the whole story, John.”

He shakes his head, “It doesn’t matter.”

“I’m sorry I brought it up. I upset you, I can tell.” you say and feel your heart break again. Upsetting John was your last intention, but you just wanted to know a little more about his childhood.

John lets out a small laugh as he shakes his head, “You didn’t upset me.”

You sit up to straddle John and his hands move to your hips. “Listen, you’re my family, John. And you know what, if they didn’t want you, then fuck them. They’re missing out on the most wonderful man I’veevermet in my entire life. You’re so full of love, and it amazes me that even after everything you’ve been through, you still have such a big heart. I have literally  _never_  met someone like you.”

John cups your face and leans his forehead against yours, “Thank you.”

“I mean it. Jonathan, you are…amazing. I know that word is so overused, but it’s true. You’re so patient with me when I’m having a bad day. You’re understanding when I don’t want to talk about something, and I’ll admit, I am  _not_  like that with you.” you laugh and John starts to smile.

“You underestimate yourself _a lot_. Not many people would have stuck around after finding out their boyfriend is…well, me.” he rubs his thumb over your bottom lip, smiling when you press a kiss to it, “They would have ran for the hills when they saw the guns in my basement and probably been scared of me, but you…you just yelled at me.”

“See, I’m not scared of you.” you say, poking John’s stomach. You wrap your arms around him and he pulls into a bear hug as you two cling to each other in silence.

“Anyone would have left me when they saw the way I was acting tonight.” he whispers and you lean back to look at him, “But I needed to do  _something_. I’m sorry that you had to see it, see me being…”

“ _Don’t say it._  Jonathan Charles Wick, don’t you dare.”

“A monster.” he whispers and you sigh loudly as you slouch.

“Never. Never, Jonathan.” you cup his face and shake your head, “I would  _never_ think of you as some sort of monster, and I hate that you think that’s what you are. I’m sorry that someone has gotten into your head and made you believe that, but all _I_  saw tonight was a man protecting someone he loves.” you say, then immediately start to laugh, “God, was that corny or what?”

“It was a little.” John laughs as he pulls you back into his arms. “Been hanging around me too much.”

“Well, it’s true.” you close your eyes, then start to laugh again, “Can you believe I pulled the ‘John Wick is my boyfriend’ card tonight? Who the hell was I?”

John laughs quietly and leans back to see your face, “I was honestly so shocked.”

“I mean, you are just…Jonathan to me. You’re just John.” you shake your head and chuckle, “But I kinda like throwing it in his face who you were. I know he knows who you are. Everyone does. Except me apparently.”

“And I liked it that way. Well, until I thought we were both ready for you to know.”

“That didn’t go according to plan, did it?” you say, and the two of you laugh.

“Can I show you something?” he asks and moves you back to the bed as he stands up. “I’ll be right back.”

You watch John leave the room and hear the basement door squeak open. Bleu is at the foot of the bed and perks up a little as John’s feet scamper down the steps. After a few minutes, Bleu begins to wag his tail, alerting you that John is on his way back into the bedroom.

“Hi,” you say and kneel on the bed. You notice John holding a manila folder and you look back up at him, “What’s this?”

“When we were looking at baby pictures, I thought about these. I didn’t look for my family, but I do have some stuff from my childhood. I know you want to know more about it and trust me, it was pretty uneventful.” he sits back down on the bed and taps the spot next to him.

“Okay, well, I definitely don’t believe that it was  _uneventful_. You were in foster care, and you were in the Marines for a while. That’s not uneventful, you’re just leaving stuff out so you don’t make me sad, or so I don’t judge you – which I  _never_ would.”

John laughs and shrugs a little, “Well, what would you say if I told you I went to a school that trained children to become assassins?”

“I would say it’s not the weirdest thing you’ve told me.” you look up at John and smile, “The weirdest thing you’ve ever told me was…hmm, probably that you’ve never seen  _Titanic_. Everyone has seen that movie, Jonathan. Get with the program.”

John stares at you in awe and he exhales in relief, “I can’t tell you how much I appreciate you.”

You pat John’s cheek and smile, “I love you.”

“I love you.” John holds your gaze for a few moments before he looks down at the folder and pulls out some papers, “This is a file with all my information on it.”

“Can I look at it?” you ask, reaching out for it and sitting cross legged next to John.

“Of course.” he laughs and hands it to you, “Why else would I have brought it up here?”

John’s file has him listed all over the world at some point. Hawaii, Mexico, Germany, Italy. You knew John traveled a lot for work, but knowing he was a kid when he went to a lot of these places takes you by surprise.

“Where  _haven’t_ you been?”

“Where haven’t I been?” he laughs and tilts his head back as he thinks, “Well, I’ve never been to Australia.”

“Really? Not much assassin business going in Australia?” you laugh.

“No, there is. There’s business going on everywhere, you’d be surprised. I just haven’t had any jobs in Australia. Plus I…work for people who usually do their business in New York.”

“Makes sense.” You shuffle through the papers more and land on John’s birth certificate, and John lets out a small sigh. You look up at John and smile, “We met a few days after your birthday.”

“Did you just realize that, or just not know my birthday?” he laughs and you playfully slap his chest.

“No, I know your birthday, you ass!” you squint your eyes at John as he laughs. “Did you get anything good for your birthday this year?”

“You.” he smiles and you laugh loudly. “Actually, Jimmy got this weird face statue to put my glasses on.”

“You don’t wear glasses.”

“I didn’t have the heart to tell him, he was so proud of this thing.” he says and points over to the strange looking statue on the side table.

“He’s an odd gift giver, isn’t he?” you laugh and look down at the papers again then back at John, “This part is about your parents, not much information.”

“Yeah.” he says quietly, and you can hear the sadness in his voice.

You can see it hurts John that he doesn’t know anything about his family, and you can’t even begin to imagine how he feels. Reaching out to cup his face, he leans into the palm of your hand and closes his eyes for a moment, and you lean forward to kiss his forehead.

“That must be so hard. It must have been really hard growing up and not knowing your family.”

John nods slowly and exhales, “Yeah, it was.”

“Well, if you ever wanted to, we could look into finding them.” you say quietly and John opens his eyes to look at you. “I just want you to know that I’d be supportive either way. Whether you want to find them or not. I will _fully_  support you, and I’ll be with every step of the way if you decide that’s what you want to do.”

“I don’t want to look for them.” he says as his eyes dart over your face, “I have my family now.”

You smile at John and feel yourself tearing up. He leans his forehead against yours and hands you a picture, and you gasp when you see it’s John as a baby. “Ooh, my god!”

“I have no idea how old I was.”

“Hmm, I’d say around nine months. You look the same age as Harper in this.” you hold the picture up next to John and he smiles. “Oh, my fucking god, I see it. This is literally the best thing I’ve ever seen. Please tell me there’s more.”

“There’s a few more,” he says and shuffles through the papers and holds up another picture. “I believe I was seven in this picture.”

You start to tear up a little and hold the picture up to John again, comparing the photo to his face. “I want to die, look at how cute you are. Look at your dorky little smile and your hair. Oh, my god, this is the best day of my life.”

John holds up another picture and laughs, “There’s a few that were taken by a girl, she was big into photography–” John looks at you and shakes his head, “It wasn’t Helen, and we didn’t date or anything.”

You put your hands up in defense and laugh, “You went there, not me.”

“I think she liked me, but I wasn’t really interested in dating. It was just nice to have someone to hang out with sometimes.” John leans over to kiss you and laughs, “Please don’t make fun of me.”

You already feel a laugh rising in your chest and when John hands you the picture, you bend over laughing until your eyes fill with tears. “You’re _kidding_ me? Look at you, you’re so tiny. How old were you?”

“Mid to late twenties.” he says, leaning over to look at the picture with you. “Probably around your age actually.”

“Your hair was so short.” you say and run your fingers through his hair. “It’s weird to think that you had it really short for the Marines.”

“Yeah, I hated it.” he closes his eyes when you tug lightly on his hair. “I like it better this way.”

“I do, too. You are literally the most gorgeous man I have ever laid my eyes on, you know that?” you say and hold the picture up to John, “Literally, you have not aged at all.”

“I have.” he laughs and grabs another picture. “This girl in this picture was…my first time.”

“Okay, now that is adorable. How old were you?”

“I think I was around 17,” he says and looks at the picture. “I was so nervous.”

“Please, please, _please_ , tell me about it.” you say, knowing damn well it’s going to be embarrassing.

John starts to laugh and looks up at you, “Well, I took her out to this restaurant. I thought I looked so good, I wore this suit that was  _way_  too big for me. And she looked very pretty, she was wearing a dress with flowers all over it. We drove down to the beach after dinner, and I laid a blanket down on the ground and…”

“Sex on the beach for your first time. John, how ambitious of you.”

John rolls his eyes and looks back at the picture. “Yeah, bad idea. There was sand everywhere and on top of it all, I lasted about 45 seconds.”

“45 seconds?” you begin to wheeze as John watches you. You try to stifle the laughter and cup John’s face. “That is so fucking funny. I mean, I’m sure it was a  _wonderful_ 45 seconds.”

“Hey, don’t laugh, I was nervous as hell. My hands were shaking so bad. I thought she was gonna laugh at me.”

You roll your eyes at John, still laughing hard, “ _Yeah right_ , you know damn well that your dick is huge. You have  _nothing_  to be nervous about.”

“No, I mean because I didn’t last long.” he says, rubbing your thigh, “Young John Wick… didn’t last long.”

“Yeah, well, old John Wick doesn’t last that long sometimes either.”

John’s mouth drop open in shock and he laughs loudly, “Mean.”

“Hey, I’ll take it as a compliment.” you laugh and look back down at the picture. John has his arm around the girl’s shoulder and a fake smile is plastered on his face. “For it being your first time, you don’t look very happy in this picture.”

“This wasn’t my first time, this was after we were dating for awhile.”

“Oh, so, she was also your girlfriend?” you ask and look up at John.

“She was.” he says. You hand the picture back to John and he looks at it closely, sighing and shaking his head, “She was not very nice to me.”

“Oh, no.” you frown and lean over to kiss John’s forehead.

“She was controlling, and she wanted to marry me almost a month after dating.” he laughs, “I was 17 years old, why the hell would I want to do that? And honestly, I was a little sick of people trying to control me.”

“Well, obviously that didn’t happen.” you say, looking at John. “Unless you have another marriage you’re hiding from me.”

John playfully taps your leg and laughs, “Nope, she dumped me on the same beach that we had sex on.”

“Oh, _tragic_. I’ll kick her ass for being mean to you.” you say and put your fists up. You try not to laugh at John, but your body starts to shake from holding in your laughter. You cover your mouth and John looks up at you. “I’m so sorry, that’s terrible. I just can’t get over you only lasting 45 seconds.”

John tackles you to the bed and tickles you, “Yeah, I’m sure your first time was funny, too.”

“Oh, my first time was  _bad_.” you say and John nods, waiting for you to tell him. “All you need to know is it was in the basement of a friend’s house, and all my friends listened to us. Well, listened to him. I was quiet back then.”

“Not anymore?” he smirks.

“Nope,” you lean up to kiss him, then flop back on the bed, “Anyway, Tess  _protected_  the door for the three minutes that it lasted. He came, and that was it.”

“That was it?”

“Not very satisfactory, I didn’t even… _you know_. I went home and cried in my mom’s bed for about three days straight. I didn’t really regret that I had sex, I just regretted that my first time was so bad. Then again, everyone’s first time is bad.” you say and lean up to kiss John, “Except with you.”

He laughs and lays down on top of you, “Our first time was pretty good, I’d say we both enjoyed ourselves.”

“It was  _really_  good – amazing, actually. You definitely lasted longer than 45 seconds…maybe  _47_ seconds.” you tease and John laughs. “It was good though, I remember being so worried you were going to rip me in half.”

John jerks his hips a little and smiles, “Yeah, me too.”

You bite your lip, trying your hardest not to smile, “And the thumb thing you always do…”

John pulls you on top of him and licks his thumb, then slides his hand into your underwear, rubbing your clit slowly. “This?”

“Yes, that. Fuck.” you start to grind against John and close your eyes, but he removes his hand and moves you back to the bed as you try to catch your breath. You glare at John as you pull your nightgown down, “Such a tease.”

He starts to laugh and leans over to kiss you, “I grabbed your baby picture on the way back up. Look at your hair, it’s just stuck all up on top of your head and your cute little smile, you look so proud of your stuffed animals.”

You look over and see John holding your baby picture next to his, “Pretty cute. I really hope our kids look like you though.”

John looks up at you and you shrug, not knowing what to say when you realize it just  _slipped_  out. He nods and smiles, letting it go and you feel relief wash over you.

“You’re so damn cute.” John says and holds your picture up next to your face, “Look at your little smile. You look the same, too.”

“Pfft, yeah, right.” you laugh and shove John’s hand away.

John takes all the pictures and puts them on the side table. He looks over at you as you tuck your hair behind your ear and he points at your ring.

“Where did you get that?” he asks and takes your hand in his, rubbing his thumb over your ring. “It’s beautiful.”

“I got it from Tess, it was my gift from her.” you say and curl up next John. “You like it? She made sure to get blue because it’s my favorite color, and because of this guy.” you tap Bleu with your foot and he looks at you.

“It’s really beautiful.” John says again and you take it off your ring finger, moving it to your middle finger.

“I can’t figure out which finger it feels best on.” you laugh and move it back to your ring finger. “I think it feels best here.”

“You should keep that finger free.” John frowns and you look up at him.

“Why?”

John tries to hide a smile, but he starts to laugh, “You know why.”

“Are you gonna make me Mrs. Wick anytime soon?” you ask and John laughs so loud, it echoes throughout the room. “Sorry, I’ll stop asking, but just know I’m waiting as patiently as I can. And when you do ask…it’s gonna be a yes.”

“Peach, it has to be a _surprise._  I can’t just  _do_  it. Will you marry me? What’s the fun in that? We’re just laying in bed.”

“Yes, I’ll marry you.” you crawl on top of John, hiking up your nightgown a little and John smiles wide.

“That wasn’t a proposal.” he shakes his head and cups your face. Leaning close to John’s face, you grind against him and he laughs. “It has to be  _special._  You  _deserve_  something special.”

“Fine.” you run your hands up his chest and onto his biceps, “Your arms are so big. I want them wrapped around me all the time.”

John’s hands move up your thighs as you lean closer, kissing each other passionately. You begin grinding against John as he slowly bucks his hips under you, and you can feel his cock growing harder and harder.

“Wait…” he sits up and moves you back to the bed. He opens the door a crack and looks at Bleu, “Go lay down, boy.” Bleu hops off the bed and John watches as he walks out of the bedroom. “He can come back in after.”

“Oh yeah, definitely don’t want him in here for what I’m about to do to you.” you joke, wrapping your arms around John’s neck as he crawls on top of you. “He’s a good boy though, he protected me tonight.”

“I’m not surprised.” John presses kisses over your stomach as he lifts your nightgown up, “Wish he would have bit Matt’s face off. Bleu is too sweet for that though.”

“My boys protected me tonight.” you cup John’s face and smile sweetly, “Thank you again.”

“You don’t need to thank me.” he says and kisses you tenderly. He lifts you off the bed a little to take off his dress shirt that you’re wearing and his eyes grow wide, glued to your arm.

You look down to see the bruises that Matt left, and you gasp as you attempt to wipe them off like it’s a temporary tattoo. You didn’t realize that they were even there. Matt gripped you hard and you knew he was probably leaving behind bruises, but your dress had sleeves so you didn’t even think about checking. John sits up straight and gently rubs his thumb over it as he sighs loudly.

“I’m sorry.” he says and you watch as he leans down to kiss your arm. His lips are warm and soft, and you feel his tongue glide against your skin. You sit up and wrap your arms around John, and he pulls you tighter into his arms. “I’m sorry this happened to you.”

“Let’s just forget about it for now.”

John holds your gaze as you kneel on the bed and lift your nightgown up a little as you pull your panties off. He lays down on his back, then he scoots to the center of the bed and kicks the blankets to the floor.

Your fingers wrap around the waistband of his boxers and you tug them off slowly, killing John with anticipation. Still keeping eye contact, you crawl on top of John and pull your nightgown over your head.

“I love you,” you run your fingers through John’s hair and cup his face, “I love you so much.”

You press your lips to John’s as he lays back on the bed, holding you tight to his chest. You lift yourself up a little and reach down between the two of you to slide his cock between your legs. Still keeping your lips pressed together, you roll your hips and John tilts his head back to moan. He bends his knees as he bucks his hips wildly, and the bed creaks incredibly loud to John’s horror.

“This is _not_  going to work.” you laugh and look at John frozen in place.

He slides you back to the bed and sits up to pull on his boxers, “What are we going to do then? There’s no way we can just stop now.”

“Very flattering, Mr. Wick.” you wink, then look around the room as you think, “The basement?”

“The car?” he suggests and you quickly hop off the bed to put on your nightgown again.

“Of course you’d suggest that.” you laugh and lean up to kiss him.

“It’s only because it’s away from everyone.” he says, but you know it has nothing to do with that. John has told you before he wants to have sex in his car, and honestly, at this point, you’re down. He’s so sad about the events that unfolded tonight, and if this helps cheer him up a little, you’re more than happy to do it.

Holding tight to John’s hand, you both tiptoe through the house, and when you hear a noise coming from your bedroom, you freeze in place, “ _Oh, my god._ ”

“What?” John turns around, looking at you, then starts to laugh when he hears it too. “They’re having sex in our bed. That’s weird, isn’t it?”

“We’ll just wash the sheets.” you jump into John’s arms, pressing kisses to his neck. “Or buy new ones.”

“I know, but it’s  _Jimmy_   _and Tess_.”

You cock up an eyebrow and look at John, “You’re telling me that if we stayed at their house for the night and I wanted to have sex, you wouldn’t fuck me in their bed?”

John opens his mouth to argue, then he nods, “You got me there.”

Still holding tight to you, John quickly walks out to the garage, turns on the light and quietly opens the driver side door. You hop off of him and he sits down, then taps his thighs, “Hop on.”

You carefully crawl into the car and onto John’s lap. He puts his hands behind you to stop you from bumping the horn with your ass and when you tap it a little, you both start to laugh. You finally get situated, and John slowly and carefully shuts the door.

He lifts your nightgown up and pulls it over your head, throwing to the passenger seat as your lips meet, desperately kissing each other. He reaches between the two of you to pull his cock free from his boxers and you sink down onto him as the two moan loudly.

“Oh, my god,” you say and feel John grabbing your ass, guiding you and moving you faster on his cock.

John’s hand slides up your chest and wraps lightly around your throat, “That feel good?”

“Mhm,” you suck on John’s thumb and he leans forward to pepper your chest with kisses. “You’re so hard for me tonight.”

“Well, you look beautiful tonight, and the way you were moving when we were dancing…”

“Almost came in your pants, didn’t you?” you laugh.

John starts to laugh and he looks up at you, “If I’m being honest, yeah. You’re kind of a huge tease.”

“You have _no_ room to talk. You just stuck your hands in my pants, trying to get me off and then just stopped like it was nothing.” you say and John laughs again.

John reaches down and lays his seat back, and he smiles when you kiss over his chest and up to his neck. The two of you press your foreheads together as you moan breathlessly, and John groans loudly when you rotate your hips slowly.

“Peach, I’m sorry.”

Burying your face in the crook of John’s neck, you start to laugh, “Already?”

John pulls you back so he can see your face and gives you a small smile, “I’m sorry.”

“What?” you look down to where the two of you are connected, but since it’s pretty dark in the garage, you can’t see anything, “You can’t be done already. You didn’t even make… _the face_.”

“No, I just…I should have been there with you tonight.” he shakes his head and tilts it back against the seat to look at you.

“Baby,  _don’t_. It’s over with.”

“Yeah, but if I had been there, it wouldn’t have happened in the first place.” he says and you roll your eyes. You move to get off of him and he grabs your waist to keep you in place, “What are you doing?”

“John…” you sigh and sit up straight, “Listen, it happened. There’s nothing we can do about it.”

John frowns a little and he cups your face, “I know, but I still–”

“You still wish you could have been there, I get it. I’m okay though, isn’t that what matters?” you lean your forehead against John’s and he nods.

“Yeah, that’s what matters.”

“Are you going to keep bringing this up?” you ask, rubbing your thumb against his beard.

John starts to laugh, then shrugs, “Probably, but I won’t bring it up anymore tonight.”

“I’m fine with that. Now…fuck me.” you say, and you moan loudly as he starts bucking his hips frenziedly.

John moves you to bounce up and down on him, and you put your hand on the ceiling of the car to keep yourself from hitting your head. His hand trails up to your breast and he leans up, sucking on your nipple.

“You’re so wet tonight. Listen to the sounds you’re making.”

“Can you blame me? You looked fucking delicious all day.” you laugh and bite at John’s neck.

“It was so hard to keep my hands to myself today. Right before everything happened, I was gonna pull you into the backyard.”

“What were you gonna do to me in the backyard?” you ask, moaning in the crook of John’s neck. He pulls you back to make eye contact with you, and he smiles cheekily.

“I was gonna bend you over and fuck you as hard as I could. I was gonna rip that dress off of you and take you right in the backyard, listening to you moan my name.”

“Fuck,” you cry out and ride John faster as he begins to breath heavily.

You watch as he leans his head back against the seat, and you tighten around him as you feel him rubbing your clit with his thumb, bringing on your orgasms simultaneously. You tilt your head back and quickly cover your mouth with your hand, feeling a loud moan beginning to surface.

“Let me hear.” John says and moves your hand just as you let out an earsplitting moan.

Holding tight to each other, you ride out your orgasms, moaning and breathing loudly. You tuck your hair behind your ear and look at John as he pants, trying to catch his breath. The windows in the car have fogged over, and you start to laugh when you see your hand print on the window.

“I don’t remember doing that.”

“Wow.” John laughs and looks at you, still holding tight to your waist as he pulls his seat back up. “ _So…_ I make a face?”

“Yeah,” you cover your mouth as you laugh. “You always like…scrunch your eyebrows together and tilt your head back when you come. Sometimes you clench your jaw like you’re trying not to scream or something. Wish you would though, then I’d know I’m doing something right.”

John slaps your ass and laughs loudly, “Trust me, you’re always doing something right.”

You grab your nightgown and pull it back over you and nod to the door, “We should probably head back in.”

“Yeah.” he nods and watches you wince as you lift yourself off of him.

John opens the glove compartment and takes a few tissues, quickly wiping himself off, then he grabs more and pats between your legs. As quietly as you can, you open the car door and wait for John to fix himself.

He reaches out for your hand and peeks through the door, then looks at you, “I think we’re safe.”

You tiptoe through the living room and see the kitchen light is on. Peeking around the corner, you see Tess sitting at the kitchen table eating a bowl of cereal.

“What is she doing awake?” you whisper to John and he peeks around the corner.

“Apparently she was hungry.” he walks past you heading for the kitchen, and you pull back him to you.

“What are you doing? You don’t have a shirt on, and you’re only in your boxers.” you point down and he laughs quietly.

John looks down at his boxers and shrugs, “I think she can control herself. She  _is_  a married woman after all.”

“I…” you blink at John a few times, and he walks into the kitchen and greets Tess.

“Hey, Tess. Can’t sleep?” he asks, grabbing a bottle of water.

“Oh…uh,” she clears her throat and laughs, “No, I was starving. Jimmy is passed out and I thought I’d just come grab a bowl of cereal, I hope you don’t mind.”

“No, of course not. Eat whatever you want.” he says and from the glass on the oven, you see him lean against the counter. “There’s still some leftover food in the fridge and there’s cake as well.”

“Nah, I was craving cereal.” she says, holding up a box of sugary cereal, “I’m guessing she picked this cereal, you don’t seem like the type to eat this. You seem more like a healthy cereal type of guy. Lots of fiber, I bet.”

“Actually, I picked that, but yeah, she definitely picks out the cereal. She picks out a lot of our junk food.” he laughs.

“ _Excuse you_ ,” you gasp as you walk into the kitchen, “You buy junk food.”

John looks at you over his shoulder and laughs, “Yeah, but you pick it out.”

“So, what are you two doing awake?”

You and John look at each other, and your cheeks start to burn as you shuffle in place. John takes a big gulp of water so he doesn’t have to answer and you roll your eyes at him. You look at Tess as she leans back in her chair, trying to look at John and his tattoos.

You walk over and sit down next to Tess, pulling your nightgown down when you remember you’re not wearing any underwear. You drum your fingers on the table to get Tess’ attention and she jumps.

“Huh?” she says and looks at you, “Oh, I was…wait, I mean, I couldn’t sleep.”

“I didn’t ask you anything.” you turn around and look at John as he finishes off his bottle of water, “Baby, come here.” John walks over and stands behind you, and you get up and point at the chair, “Sit down.”

“Okay.” John laughs and sits down.

You grab Tess’ hand, pulling her up to stand next to you, “There, now you can look.”

“What?” he says, turning around to look at you.

“Your tattoos. She wants to see them.” you say and look at Tess, “Don’t you?”

“Yeah, sorry. I was trying to be subtle. I was going to wait until you invited us over to go swimming, but since your pool  _still_  isn’t filled…” she laughs and you push John forward so she can see his tattoos. She reaches out and brushes her fingers over the wolf on his right shoulder, “Your tattoos are amazing, John. Are you ever going to get more?”

John starts to laugh and shakes his head, “I don’t know. Depends.”

“Depends on what?” Tess asks.

“If we had a baby, I’d maybe get something.” he says and Tess looks over at you and smiles, nudging you and winking. John looks up at you and smiles, “I’d get a tattoo with you.”

“Matching tattoos, how corny. You know what, that’s cute actually. We always wanted to get matching tattoos, and Jimmy and I want to get one as well.” Tess says, still looking at John’s tattoos. “We should all go together and get one.”

You lean forward to look at John and smile, “You can get my face tattooed across your chest.”

John starts to laugh and shakes his head fast, “I love you, but I don’t want that.”

Tess furrows her brow in confusion, “You have two crosses, I didn’t realize you were…religious.”

John chuckles and looks over his shoulder, “I’m not.”

“Well, then why do have them?” Tess teases.

“I was young when I got all of these.”

Tess runs her fingers over the large cross in the middle of John’s back and she gasps loudly, “Jesus, John, this isn’t a _tattoo_.”

John looks up at you and frowns as you lean over to look at it with Tess. She looks up at you with tears in her eyes and puts her hand over her mouth.

“John, she’s speechless. We did it. We did the impossible.” you say, and John laughs quietly.

“Were you fucking… _branded?_ ” she asks, rubbing her fingers over the bumped up skin.

“Something like that.” he says quietly, and he reaches for your hand to pull you back to him.

“ _Exactly_  like that.” you say and you watch a tear slide down Tess’ cheek. John’s left hand slides between your legs and onto your knee, and he pulls you even closer.

“Well, I hate this.” Tess says and you move to hug her. “I hate this, John. And not to be weird, but I…want to kiss it and make it better. In a platonic way…if that’s possible.”

“I will!” you say happily and press your lips to John’s back, moving them up to the crook of his neck and he squirms away. “Ticklish.”

When you touch his shoulder, John instantly can tell the difference between Tess’ hand and yours, and he smiles at you over his shoulder. You sit down next to John at the table and watch as Tess continues looking at his tattoos. He props head on his hand, eyes darting over your face as the two of you look at each other.

Tess leans closer to get a better look at the cross in the middle of his back and finally notices the other scars littering his skin. She puts her hand over her mouth and looks at you with tears in her eyes.

“I know.” you whisper and look at her, smiling softly.

“John, baby, you are  _covered_  in scars.” she says, and John quickly turns around to look at her. She notices the scars on his chest and stomach, and she covers her mouth again with both hands as she gasps, “Oh, my god.”

“Oh no, not you too.” he laughs and stands up to hug Tess. “It’s okay. _I’m okay_.”

“I cried the first time I saw them, too.” you say and watch Tess as she stares at them.

She looks at John’s stomach and frowns even more when she sees the splatter of scars, “I know about your job, well,  _barely_  anything about your job, but I just…I guess I never thought about it. You getting hurt like this.” she reaches out to touch a scar on his stomach and he flinches.

“Your hands are cold.” he laughs.

“How did you get this?”

“Ask my map.” he laughs and points at you.

“Uh,” you get up and point at John’s stomach, “I think this was the broken bottle, right?”

“Yeah.” John nods.

“And this one?” she points at a scar on his right side.

“A gun. Two bullets.” you say and Tess points at more, “Gun, knife, another knife, gun.”

Tess’ eyes scan over his chest and she sees a thick scar on his collar bone, “What about that?”

“Huh?” you stand on your tiptoes and look at it, “I don’t know about that one.”

“Knife.” John says, “Had to stitch it myself.”

“Oh, my god.” she wipes a tear off her face and looks at you, “How do you do this?”

“Well, I’m always in a constant state of worry when it comes to John,” you wrap your arms around John’s waist and press kisses to his chest. “But I haven’t had to worry about that lately since he hasn’t had a job in a while.”

“Which is still my choice, by the way.” John pulls your arms around him tighter and laughs, “I’m fine, Tess.”

“Listen, I’m blaming everything on this baby.” she starts to sob and she covers her face again.

“Should I start calling you too?” he asks as he laughs.

Tess starts to laugh and exhales loudly, “This is so stressful, and he’s not even my husband!”

John looks over at you and smiles, “Should we head to bed?”

“Yeah.” you nod and John picks you up bridal style as you squeal loudly, “John! I don’t have any underwear on.”

“Ooh,  _that’s_  why you two were awake.” Tess nods and brings her bowl to the sink, “Wait…where the hell were you?”

“His car.” you laugh and press a kiss to John’s face.

“You two are wild, let me tell you.” she says, shaking her head.

“Definitely not.” you say and John bounces you in his arms. “Also, don’t think we didn’t hear you and Jimmy about 45 minutes ago.”

“Well, I heard you two talking earlier in the bathroom, so consider it payback.” she blurts out, then covers her mouth when she looks at John, “Sorry.”

John leans closer to your ear and whispers, “She…she heard us?”

You try your best to push the laughs down, but you tilt your head back laughing loudly, “Yeah, she did.”

“We’re going to bed now.” John says, quickly turning around, heading for the guest room.

Tess follows you through the living room and stops at the steps, “Goodnight, you two. Love you.”

“Goodnight.” you and John say together.

“Love you.” you say, waving at her.

Tess laughs loudly as she starts her way up the stairs, “I can see your ass, by the way.”


	50. Chapter 50

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **warnings:** nsfw-ish

Coffee wafting through the house and into the guest room wakes you, and you stretch out on the bed. Sitting up a little, you see John is already gone and notice the clothes at the end of the bed that he’s left for you.

“Of course he picked this stuff.” you say to yourself, and you laugh when you see he picked a lacy thong and your tightest jeans you own. He left a loose sweater too, so you assume it must be a little chilly this morning.

You quickly change your clothes and as soon as you open the door, you hear laughter and chatter coming from the kitchen. You head to the kitchen and hear John laugh loudly, and you smile to yourself as you lean against the door frame, watching him talk with your mom, Dan, and Jimmy.

It’s nice to see John is such a domestic setting. Sitting around the table, surrounded by people who love him. It’s honestly what he deserves.

“Well, good morning, sleepyhead.” Jimmy says, waving at you.

“Hey,” you rub your eyes and lean against the counter, putting your head in your hands. “Good morning, everyone.”

John walks over and rubs your back, leaning down to kiss the top of your head, “Are you hungry? I made some breakfast.”

You wrap your arms around each other and you lean your head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat and closing your eyes. You feel something pressing against your lips and you open your eyes to see John trying to feed you a piece of bacon.

“You haven’t eaten since we had dinner last night, I know you’re hungry.” he says, still trying to push the piece of bacon into your mouth, “I’ll force feed you.”

“No, you won’t.” you laugh and take the bacon from John.

“Go sit down.” he says, already making you a plate as you sit down at the table.

“It’s unusually quiet, where’s Tess?” you look at Jimmy and smile, “Still sleeping?”

“No, she was actually up before me. April wanted to talk to her, I guess. She went over there about an hour ago.” he looks at his watch and nods, “Yeah, about an hour.”

“So, Dan, mom tells me that you’re going on a vacation soon.” you say as John sits next you with your plate of food.

“We are, next month.” he nods and holds onto your mom’s hand. “I can’t wait to spend time with her.”

“Where are you going?” John asks, pouring juice into your glass.

“Greece.” your mom clasps her hands tight and smiles wide, “I’ve always wanted to go there.”

“Well, you’ll love it. It’s beautiful there.” John says and under the table, you feel his hand on your thigh. John looks at Jimmy and nudges him, “Got any plans for your honeymoon?”

“No.” Jimmy sighs and looks at you, “Tess always wanted to go to Italy, but I just don’t think we’d be able to afford it right now.”

John squeezes your thigh under the table, and you can tell he’s forming a plan in his head. You and John haven’t given Tess and Jimmy a wedding present yet, and you _know_  he’s going to offer to pay for their honeymoon.

Your mom looks over your shoulder and her eyes grow wide. You turn around to see Tess standing in the doorway, her face is red and wet from tears. Jimmy practically falls out of his chair and rushes to her side, his hand already on her belly.

“Are you okay? Talk to me.” he says, pushing her into the living room to talk to her.

“I wonder what that’s all about.” your mom says and wrings her hands with worry. “I hope the baby is okay.”

You look over at John and he rubs your cheek. “I’m sure everything’s fine, baby.”

__

You pick at your food on your plate, not feeling for hungry all of the sudden. John’s hand is still on your thigh and he squeezes it to get your attention. He gives you a sweet, reassuring smile and wraps his arm around the back of your chair, pulling it a little closer to him. You all sit in silence for what seems like forever when you finally hear Jimmy laughing loudly in the living room.

You turn around in your seat as Tess walks in, crying again. She smiles at everyone and shakes her head, putting her hand on her belly, “I’m fine,  _we’re_ fine.”

“Don’t do that!” you say and get up to hug her, “I was so worried.”

The two of you hold each other tight and she starts to sob even harder, “Can I talk to you?”

“Of course.” you hold tight to her hand and walk with her outside to the patio.

Tess sits down on the love seat and exhales loudly, wiping the tears off her face. She takes several deep breaths and start crying again.

“You said you’re okay, but you’re crying non-stop. Are these happy tears?” you say, sitting down next to her.

“They are. They really are.” she says, closing her eyes and trying to compose herself. “Okay, I think I’m good.” She reaches out for your hand and smiles at you. You tilt your head a little, unsure of what she’s going to say and she laughs. “So, I just went to talk with April. You know how she’s moved into that apartment in the city?”

You nod, “Yeah.”

She takes a deep breath and starts to laugh, “She’s literally letting me and Jimmy move into the house. She knows how much I love it, and she knows I don’t want to move to New York City, and how much I hate the idea of moving away from you.”

“Wow…” you nod, unsure of what else to say.

“It’s perfect for Jimmy and I, and this little one and any other future kids. Her parents don’t want to sell it, and they said they want to give it to us as a wedding gift, I guess.”

“That’s…quite a big wedding present.” you say, still trying to take it all in.

“We’ll obviously pay for any house repairs, and Jimmy and I are, of course, still going to pay rent, but it will  _no_ where near what we’d have to pay if we bought a house. Which is perfect since we’ll have a new baby on our hands. April said we can move in as soon as we want. Isn’t that exciting?” she says, smiling from ear to ear.

“So, you’re telling me that you’re going to be  _right there_?” you say as you point across the street and Tess nods excitedly. “This is _so_ fucking exciting.”

You’re honestly not surprised that April’s parents are practically  _giving_  away this house. They’re rich as hell. They already own three other homes all over New York, and they also have a nice home in Florida for the winters. But that’s what happens when your dad is an anesthesiologist, and your mom is a psychiatrist.  

Tess wraps her arms around you and squeals loudly, “These last two days have been the best days of my life. I mean I would be fine with living in Jimmy’s apartment until we could save up money for a small house in Mill Neck. As long as I’m with him and not miles away from you, I don’t care.”

“Hey,” Jimmy says and kneel down next to Tess. He cups her face and kisses her on the cheek, “I love you.”

You look over and see John closing the patio door, and he waves you over to him. He holds tight to your hand, leading you away from Tess and Jimmy. When he gets behind the house, he grabs your waist, pushing you against the house and kissing you feverishly.

Your hands trail up his chest and you stand on your tiptoes to deepen the kiss. Pushing John back as much as you can, you both start to laugh at your weak attempt and he falls back against you. He lifts you up and you wrap your legs around his waist as he presses you against the house.

“Mmm, bacon.” he laughs and puts you back on the ground.

“Well, hello.” you say and tilt your head back, “What are we doing?”

“I wanted to talk to you…” he says, kissing your neck, “Alone.”

“Tess and Jimmy are going to be living across the street now. We better get an even better security system to keep them out.” you say, ducking under John’s arm so you can sit down.

“Are you happy that they’re not going to move to New York City now?” he asks, sitting down next to you.

“Yeah,” you nod and smile at John, “I know you probably don’t understand this, but we’ve never been apart. She’s my sister, and knowing that I wouldn’t be able to see her every day, or see the baby grow up breaks my heart.”

“Well, we don’t have to worry about that now. You’ll be able to see the baby all the time now.”

“Listen,” you shift in your seat to look at John and reach out for his hands, “If she’s ever over too much, or you’re sick of her,  _please_  tell me. I don’t get sick of her, but I know she’s a lot to handle sometimes, so please let me know.”

John laughs and nods, “I will. As long as we still get time alone…”

“Of course.” you smile and rub John’s thigh.

“Then as long as you’re happy, I don’t mind how often she’s over.”

“You’re a good man.” you say, patting John’s cheek.

“I was thinking since we haven’t gotten them a wedding present…”

You furrow your brow and look at John, “We did. We got Tess the picture, I need to give that to her today.”

“Yeah, but that’s for Tess. We didn’t get anything for the two of them.” he says, and you nod in agreement. “Tess always wanted to go to Italy…and they’re saving up money for a house, which they don’t need to save up for anymore, but they’re still going to need that money for furniture and all the baby stuff.”

“You want to pay for their trip to Italy?”

John shakes his head and laughs, “No, I want  _us_ to pay for their trip.”

You nod and look over at John, “Okay.”

“That’s it?” he says, taken aback by you not putting up a fight and he starts to laugh. “You’re not going to argue with me?”

“Nope,” you say and stand up behind John, wrapping your arms around his neck. “I’m not going to fight you on this stuff anymore.”

“Good.” John stands up straight and boosts you up on his back to give you a piggy back ride, and he walks back to Jimmy and Tess.

John drops you back to the ground, keeping a good grip on you to make sure you have your footing. He heads inside and comes out a few moments later with a pink gift bag for Tess.

“For you.” he says, handing to Tess.

Tess looks up at John and smiles, “Just for me? Not us?”

“Nope, just you.” you say and watch as Tess slowly opens the bag.

She pulls out the picture frame and puts her hand over her mouth when she sees the picture. Resting it against her forehead, she begins to sob, and she sniffles loudly as Jimmy leans over to look at the picture with her.

“Oh, my god,” she says quietly, looking at the picture and brushing her fingers over it, “It’s my mom and dad on their wedding day.”

“Yeah,” you kneel in front of Tess and look at it, “I found it a while back when I moved in with John. It must have gotten mixed in with my stuff from our move to New York. I showed it to John a few weeks ago, and he told me about how he had some pictures of Helen that got ruined, so he took them to this guy in the city and had them restored. This picture was really shitty, it was almost ripped in half.”

“I used to cling to this picture every night for three years.” she says, looking at you with tears in her eyes. “You have no idea how much this means to me. I mean, I’m sure you do, but this…means  _everything_  to me.” she looks back at the picture and frowns, “I wish they could meet Jimmy and see how happy I am. I wish they could have been here last night.”

“They were, baby.” Jimmy says, pressing a kiss to her cheek.

You wipe away the tear on your cheek and smile at Tess, “I love you, and I know your parents would be so happy for you, and yes, they would love Jimmy.”

Jimmy smiles proudly and perks up a little, “Thanks.”

“So…” John helps you stand back up and he wraps his arm around your shoulder, “We haven’t given you two a wedding gift yet, and we really want to pay for your honeymoon.”

Jimmy shakes his head and rubs Tess’ back when she starts to cry again, “We can’t let you do that, you two have already done so much for us. Helping us pay for the wedding, letting us _have_ the wedding here, becoming our child’s godparents. Seriously, you’ve done so much.”

“Too bad, because we’re doing it anyway.” you kneel in front of Tess again and she looks up at you. “You’re going to spend your honeymoon in Italy, what do you think?”

“I think it’s amazing.” Tess sniffles loudly and stands up to hug you, “This means so much to me, thank you.”

“It was nothing,” you move to stand next to John and you nudge his arm, “It’s pocket change to us.”

“You’re so rich.” Tess says, wiping tears away with the sleeve of her sweater, and you all laugh at her. “I really need to go home and nap. I’m so emotionally exhausted from these past two days, and I know mom and Dan want to go out to dinner with us all tonight since they’re leaving in the morning.”

“We’re going to dinner tonight?” you ask, looking up at John.

“You were still asleep this morning when we talked about it, but yeah, they want to go out to eat tonight. I already made reservations for us at 7.” he says and wraps his arm around your shoulder, “Is that okay?”

“Of course, but I’m definitely taking a nap first. I didn’t sleep for shit last night.” you say and look at John over your shoulder as you walk inside.

__

You’re standing in your bra and panties staring at your closet when John knocks on the door. “You can come in.”

“Are you sure?” he asks, voice almost muted by the door.

You walk over to the door and open it, “Yes, I’m sure.”

John quickly steps into the room, shutting the door behind him. “Watcha doin’?”

“Trying to decide what I wanna wear tonight.” you say and walk back to the closet. In your bra and underwear, you know John is dying as he watches you, so you sway in place a little to tease John and you hear him laugh. “I have plenty of dresses, but I’m kinda sick of wearing dresses. I was just in a dress for hours yesterday.”

“Uh, how about…a skirt?” John says, and you look over your shoulder at him. His eyes are glued to your ass and when he feels you looking at him, he quickly looks up at you. “Just a suggestion.”

“I don’t want to wear a skirt.” you spin around and look at John, “You’re wearing a suit, so we’re going somewhere nice.”

“Yeah, The Steak House.” he says, sitting on the bed.

“ _The_  Steak House? As in the one that you took me to on your first date?”

“The very same.” he says, happily.

“Oh, so we’re going into the city, and we’re going  _fancy_ tonight. Like, ultra fancy.” you exhale loudly and look at John’s perfectly tailored suit.

“Yeah, your mom wanted go to a ‘fancy’ restaurant.”

“And of course The Steak House is the fanciest restaurant.” you roll your eyes and laugh.

“It’s not that fancy, stop.” he looks at you closely as you check him out and when your eyes meet, he smiles.

“Cloth napkins, John. _Yeah,_  it’s fancy.” you joke.

_“It’s not.”_

It is fancy. You remember looking at the menu on your first date with John and hoping like hell that he was going to pay, because there was  _no way_  you’d be able to afford it. Of course, in the end, he paid.

You turn back around to your closet and shuffle through your clothes, “Well, I do have this jumpsuit that I haven’t worn in ages. I’ve worn it to ‘fancy’ places before, but I actually don’t know if it’ll even fit me anymore.”

“Jumpsuit?” John asks, trying to look at you through the mirror on the closet door. You turn around and hold it up to show him. “Oh! Yeah, that looks nice.”

Shimmying your way into the jumpsuit, it fits perfectly and you’re a little surprised. “This actually fits better now than it did before.”

“Sleeveless?” he asks, looking down at the bruises on your arm from Matt, “Are you sure?”

“Yup.” you point over to your make up bag and smile, “I can cover them up, no biggie.”

“I hate that you even have to do that.” he say, quietly.

“No, no, no.” you walk over and kneel in front of John, “We’re not doing this again.”

John hangs his head and sighs deeply, “I’m sorry, I just…hate this.”

“I know,” you cup his face and make him look at you, “I know you do, John. I know that you hate that someone hurt me, and I understand that. I feel the same way when you come home with cuts and bruises. It’s okay though, you didn’t do this to me.”

“I just don’t want you to be disappointed in me because I wasn’t there with you.” he says and looks down at his hands, “I didn’t get there in time.”

“You  _were_  there for me! The  _exact_ moment I needed you, you were there. John, look at me,” you say and he looks up, “Nothing happened. _I’m fine_. He just grabbed my arm a little too hard and left a few marks, and if it makes you feel better, I bruise easily. One time I ran into the door and gave myself a black eye that I had for  _weeks._ ”

“This is going to last for weeks?” he asks, and his eyes grow sad at the thought.

You shake your head, “No, probably not. I ran into the door  _pretty_ damn hard.”

John finally starts to laugh and he leans forward to kiss you, “I love you.”

“And I love you!” you say, grinning wide.

John stares at you for a moment before looking back down at your arm. He reaches out and brushes his thumb over it, and he starts to smile when he sees your arms cover in goosebumps.

“I love how protective you are of me, and I _love_  how much you love me.” you say, leaning up to kiss John. You kiss him a few times, then move to the dresser to put some makeup on your arm. You quickly cover the bruises and turn around to look at John, “So, how about this outfit?”

“Looks good.” he says, watching you as you look at yourself in the mirror. He smiles wide when he sees you turn around and check out your ass. You wink at John and he laughs. “That looks… _great_.”

“Can you zip me?” you stand in front of John and he slowly pulls the zipper up. He pulls you into his lap and you look over your shoulder at him, “ _No_ , we’re leaving soon.”

“Quickie?” he asks, moving his hands up your thighs.

“No.” you laugh, shaking your head.

“Can I get a taste?” he asks, moving your hair away from your face.

“And what does a  _taste_  usually lead to?” you shake your head again and laugh, “No.”

John begins kissing your neck and you feel yourself melting into his lap. His hands are on your waist and he slowly starts moving you on his lap. You tilt your head back to kiss John and he moans against your lips as his hand travels up to your breast. Placing your hands on John’s knees, you slowly rotate your hips against the crotch of his pants, and he moans quietly.

“I’m sorry,” you laugh and get off of John, “I still have to finish getting ready.”

“You only have to put on shoes, that takes like five seconds.” he says, getting up from the bed and stalking towards you. “Come on.”

“No, I still need put on my last touches of makeup.” you say, sticking your hand out to stop John.

“You look _fine_.” he takes a big step forward and you laugh.

“Jonathan Wick, stop it!” you say, pointing at him.

“Okay, fine.” he laughs and when you turn around, he grabs you by the waist and moves to the mirror with you. From the mirror, you can see John watching as you lean forward and apply lipstick. He hugs you tighter to his chest when you’re done and he smiles, “Look at my girl.”

“You are so handsome.” you say, patting his cheek.

“We’re a good looking couple.” he says and kisses the top of your head. His hands move up your waist and he grabs at your breast as he kisses your neck.

“Are you kidding me, Wick?” you giggle and push him away again, “Stop.”

“I’m sorry.” he says, frowning and looking at the ground. “I’m sorry, I need to keep my hands to myself. I need to stop.”

“Oh, you are  _so_  pathetic.” you wrap your arms around John and smile at him.

You know John is only being this clingy because of the whole Matt situation. You’ve barely been out of John’s sight all day. The only time you had to yourself was when you showered earlier, and that was only because your mom asked to see John’s books in the basement.

If it was up to John, he’d follow you everywhere. He’d  _never_  leave your side if he had it his way. It’s quite flattering to know he really doesn’t get sick of you, and of course the feelings are reciprocated. John has never gotten on your nerves or annoyed you. The two of you genuinely enjoy each other’s company.

“You don’t need to keep your hands to yourself. I love it, it’s nice.  _But_ …my mom is just downstairs, and this time she isn’t asleep or distracted by a party. And I tend to be a little loud with you sometimes, so she  _will_ hear and she’ll come up here.”

“Well, we don’t want that.” he laughs and leans closer to your face.

“If I kiss you, I’m gonna ruin my lipstick.”

“Good thing you have a whole tube of it then.” he says and leans down to kiss you tenderly.

His hands squeeze your hips and his fingers press into your skin as he pulls you closer, and you push your tongue into his mouth, kissing him a little more passionately than you intended. You slide your hands down John’s chest to his belt buckle and pull him even closer. Standing on your tiptoes to deepen the kiss, John slides his hands to your ass and he smiles against your lips.

“There.” you say and lean up to kiss John on the cheek, leaving behind a dark red lipstick stain. “You’ll have to wipe that off, but will that tide you over until we get home tonight?”

“Maybe.” his hands are back on your waist and you grab them, slowly sliding them down to your ass again. “You look great in this, peach.”

“Does my ass look good?”

“So good.” he says, slapping your ass. “Tonight?”

“Tonight.” you nod as he walks to the door.

__

Walking with John into the restaurant, you feel a hand on your elbow and turn around to see Dan with Tess standing next to him. “Can I talk to you girls?”

“Yeah, of course.”

“We’ll be at the table.” John says and walks with Jimmy to the back of the restaurant.

“I gotta make this fast, your mom is just in the bathroom so I don’t have a lot of time.” he says and reaches into his pocket, pulling out a small box. “You girls know how much I love your mother and I’ve wanted to do this for awhile, but I need to ask both of you. We all haven’t been in the same place since…well, since you were home, so I need to ask now.”

“You don’t need to ask me.” Tess laughs.

“Yes, I do.” he says, reaching out to touch her shoulder. “You’re her daughter too, and your approval is just as important as hers.” he says, nodding to you. “I love your mom very much, and I’ve been with her for a long time, I feel like now is the time to finally…”

“Yes.” you and Tess both say and begin laughing.

“You’ve always been good to my mom and to us. You’re like our dad. Of course it’s a yes.” you say, feeling your nose burning from the tears pricking your eyes.

“I know Leah won’t be happy about this, but I love your mom and I can’t put it off anymore. Leah is an adult, and she’ll just have to get over it.”

“Good for you, Dan. Finally putting your foot down.” Tess says, slapping him on the shoulder. “Wait, is she coming?”

“Tess, be nice.” you laugh.

“Hey, I didn’t say anything.” she says, putting her hands up in defense, and she looks over her shoulder as Leah walks in.

“I’m gonna talk to her now.” Dan says, and reaches out to hug you and Tess. “I love you girls.”

“Perfect timing.” you say as your mom walks out of the bathroom.

“Hey, where is Dan?”

“Leah is here, so he’s talking to her. Probably telling her to be a decent human being.” you say, trying not to spit at the mention of her name. “She was a bit dramatic last night.”

“When isn’t she?” your mom rolls her eyes and laughs. “What did she do this time?”

You stop walking and look over at John and Jimmy at the table. They’re talking, and Jimmy says something to make John laugh, of course. The two are the best of pals and you feel your heart swell.

“She was…I don’t know, hitting on John again. Asked him what he sees in me.”

“Jesus.” your mom takes a deep breath and shakes her head as she exhales, “I  _am_  going to have a talk with her, she can’t keep doing this.”

“It’s okay. I’m not worried.” you chuckle and look at John, “For once in my life, I’m not worried at all.”

Walking over to the table, John stands up and walks to the other side to pull out your mom’s chair. He smiles at her and she thanks him by patting him on the cheek. When John sees you, he quickly walks back over and pulls out your chair.

“Hey, mouse.” he smiles.

“Such a gentleman.” you say, kissing him before you sit down.

“You look so beautiful.” John whispers, leaning close to your face. “Can I take your picture?”

You lean your head on your hand and laugh, “Sure.”

John pulls out his phone and takes several pictures of you smiling at him. He looks at the pictures, and you laugh loudly when he starts taking pictures again. You take his phone from him and scoot closer to take one of the two of you.

“Ooh, that’s a  _good_  one.” he says, looking at the picture with you. His hand slides up your thigh and he smiles, “I love this outfit.”

You lick your lips and scoot closer to John, almost in his lap, “I can’t wait for you to take it off of me when we get home.”

John leans closer so that when he speaks his mouth in hidden from everyone, and his lips brush against the nape of your neck, “I can’t wait to fuck you tonight.”

You lean back a little to look at John, shocked that he’s saying anything so vulgar when your mom is only across the table. When your eyes meet, John smiles wide and leans over to kiss you.

“Wanna feel you in my mouth tonight.” you whisper and bite your bottom lip. “Taste you on my tongue.”

Tess is watching the two of you, and she smiles when you finally look over at her. She rests her head on her hand and she shakes her head ** _._** You feel your face growing red and John looks at you, trying to figure out why you’re blushing, and he turns to see Tess watching the two of you.

“Oh, god.” he laughs and lets go of your leg, grabbing your hand instead.

“This is a very nice restaurant, have you been here before?” your mom asks, looking through the menu as Dan and Leah join the table.

“Yeah, Jonathan brought me here on our first date.” you smile and look over at John.

“What are we talking about?” Dan asks, and you feel John squeeze your hand tight when he sees Leah.

He tries to hide the anger on his face and he’s good at it, but you know John well and you can tell he’s upset. You’re not ready for round two with Leah and you look over at John, trying to reassure him. You smile sweetly at him and he puts his arm around the back of your chair as you rest your hand on his leg, rubbing your thumb over his thigh.

“Jonathan brought her here on their first date.” your mom says, still looking at the menu.

“Oh, he did?” Dan asks and looks over at the two of you.

“Yeah,” you look over your shoulder and point at the table hidden in the back, “Right over there.”

“Seems like so long ago.” John laughs and rubs his hand over your bare shoulder, causing goosebumps to form.

“It does.” you smile, leaning over to kiss John.

“What was your first date like?” your mom asks, propping her head on her hands and staring at you. “You’ve never told me. You never tell me anything.”

“Yes, I do.” you roll your eyes and she laughs.

“Well, you still have never told me about your first date.”

“It was good, it was really good. The waitress was totally flirting with John the whole time, he was completely oblivious to it – like he always is. But I guess that just goes to show that he only has eyes for me, even back then.” you say, throwing Leah a dirty look. “We talked non-stop, well, more like _I_ talked non-stop and he told me really dumb jokes.” you look over at John and smile, “Then we went for a _very_  short walk since it started raining, and then he took me back home.”

“But did he walk you to the door?” Dan asks, leaning back in his chair.

“He did. He held the door open for me, he pulled my chair out, he held my hand in the car.” you say and look over at John again. “He even kissed me on the forehead at the end of night.”

“Oh, my god! On the forehead?” Tess laughs loudly and shoves John’s shoulder, “Loser.”

“He was being a gentleman, Tess.” your mom says, laughing. “That’s very sweet, Jonathan. I’m glad she has someone who is so sweet to her. What about your second date?”

“Our second date? Oh man, I don’t think I even remember our second date.” you laugh and try to remember.

“The picnic in the park with Bleu.”

“The picnic in the park!” you snap your fingers and laugh, “I remember!”

John looks at your mom and laughs, “She told me she had a brother.”

“What?” your mom sets her menu down and looks at you, “Why?”

You cover your mouth with your hand as you laugh, and you look over to see Tess laugh hysterically.

“Tess told me the same thing too!” Jimmy says, then looks at Tess, shaking his head. “Liars.”

“Well, I was just trying to scare him…” you laugh, and John brushes his thumb over your shoulder. “I completely forgot that I had told him that until we came home from Christmas. John asked why we didn’t have any pictures of my brother around the house.”

“I didn’t want to mention him and bring up any bad memories. I just figured there was a falling out or something.” John says, shrugging.

“We did have a whole thing planned out, if it came down to it though. We were going to say he was a cop, which wouldn’t have worked because Jimmy could have just looked him up and could figure out that we were lying.”

You look at your mom across the table and she winks.  _FBI._  She still believes John is in the FBI, and you try to hold in a laugh when you feel John’s grip getting a little tighter.

__

After dinner, John and Jimmy are in a deep conversation about something, but you’re honestly not paying attention to it. They tend to get into deep discussions and it usually ends with John laughing hysterically at Jimmy. Leah looks like she’s ready to stab herself in the eye with her fork. She hasn’t talked to anyone all night, which isn’t unusual for her. She usually just throws around dirty looks, or speaks up when she can ridicule someone.

“Switch spots with me, Jimmy.” you say and take his chair to sit next to Tess. “When is Dan gonna do it?”

“Look at him, he looks like he’s going to explode.”

Dan’s face is as red as a tomato, and he’s wiping sweat off his face every few minutes. You try to hold in a laugh and you look over at John.

“Is he okay?” he whispers in your ear.

“Yeah, he’s fine.” you say and look over at Dan. You give him a thumbs up and he nods. “Oh, here he goes.”

“Honey,” he takes your mom’s hand in his and she reaches out to touch his face, immediately concerned for him.

“Are you okay? Are you sick? We can go back to their house, if you need to lay down or something.”

Dan stands up and moves his chair, reaching into his pocket and pulling out the ring box. You and Tess grab each others hands, trying your hardest not to squeal. Dan kneels next to your mom and she covers her mouth as she gasps.

“I love you, and I want to spend the rest of our lives together. You’ve made the happiest man in the entire world. There is nothing more that I want than to grow old – well,  _older_  with you.” Dan says and you all laugh. He pulls the ring out of the box as his hands shake and he laughs, “Will you marry me?”

Your mom is speechless and she looks over at you and Tess with tears in her eyes. You wipe the tears away on your face and nod at her, giving her your silent approval.

“Don’t leave the poor man hanging, mom.” Tess laughs.

“Yes!” she says and Dan stands up, wrapping his arms around your mom as the two of the cry in each others arms.

The whole restaurant starts to clap and cheer, and you look over to see Leah reluctantly clapping. She looks over at you, staring for a moment before she slowly starts to smile, then she looks back to your mom and Dan.

“Whoa.” John whispers and nudges you. “I saw that.”

“I’ll take it as an apology.” you laugh and lean over to kiss John.

__

You shiver standing outside and John stands behind you, putting his suit jacket over your shoulders and rubbing your arms to warm you up. Dan is talking away with the valet as they get your cars and you tilt your head back to look at John. He hears his car coming around the corner and watches as it pulls up next to you.

Tess taps your shoulder and smiles, “Thanks for dinner.”

“Of course!” you reach out and hug her.

She leans close to your ear and whispers, “I saw the total, I’m gonna pay you back for that.”

“Don’t.” John says, wrapping his arms around your waist again, “It was my treat.”

“John, I saw that bill. I get that you have money so you don’t mind just…throwing it around, but we didn’t grow up like this.”

“Neither did I.” he says, cocking up an eyebrow.

“Good point. I get it, Tess. It takes some time getting used to.  _I’m_  not even used to it,” you laugh and look up at John to roll your eyes, “But if I’ve learned anything from dating John, it’s that when he wants to do something, he will. And also paying for things is…completely out of the picture. He’ll never let me pay for anything.”

Tess frowns a little and looks up at John, “How about we get the bill the next time we go out for pizza? Or maybe we can have you over for dinner? I know it’s not much, I just…”

“Tess, stop.” John reaches out to touch her shoulder and she gives him a weak smile. “I don’t mind paying. I like it, I like being able to take my family out and pay for things.”

Your knees buckle and you put your hands over your mouth, “His  _family_.”

“Can I just hug you?” she asks, and John lets go of you to hug her.

Ever since Tess has found out she’s pregnant, her maternal instincts have kicked in and she’s constantly wanting to take care of everyone. She’s always had a soft side with you, but with other people, it’s usually hidden under her sarcasm and wit. She likes to keep herself protected and you can understand that, but lately she’s slowly letting her guard with other people, and you have to admit that you love it.

“You are so soft, oh my god.” you laugh.

“Shut up!” Tess slaps your shoulder and laughs as she walks away, “I’ll call you tomorrow.”

“So, do you want to watch a movie when we get home?” John asks, pressing a kiss to your forehead.

“Yeah.” you say, and John rocks you in his arms.

“We’re going to drive into the city just to look around, Dan’s never seen New York City at night. We’ll be back pretty late, will you still be up?” your mom asks, walking over to you.

“Probably. If I’m not, Jonathan will be.” you say, and John lets go of you to open the car door for you.

The two of you say your goodbyes and get in the car, and you’re not even out of the parking lot before you reach over and feel the bulge in John’s pants.

“I’m sorry, you just look so good tonight.” John laughs and reaches down, sliding his hand onto your thigh and rubbing his fingers between your legs.

“How about we say screw the movie…” you look over at John and laugh, “And we just screw each other instead?”

“When we get home, you’re mine.”


	51. Chapter 51

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **A/N:** a year ago today i posted my very first chapter of Hold My Hand on tumblr. Thank you to everyone who has read this fic and everyone who continues to read this fic, it means so much to me. I will never be able to fully thank you all. I love this story so much, and I love writing it. So again, thank you so much for reading!  
>  **Warnings:** NSFW

You and John stumble into your bedroom, desperately kissing and grabbing at each other. Your hands are on his jacket and John quickly pulls it off, throwing it to the floor. He loosens his tie as you unbutton his shirt, sliding it off his shoulders and groping at his chest.

The desperation of your kisses makes you laugh loudly, and you tilt your head back as you laugh. You hear the sound of John unbuckling his pants and you sit on the bed to take off your heels. Before you can even get your clothes off, John tackles you down and lays on top of you, peppering your face with kisses.

“John!” you say, laughing loudly, “I haven’t even taken my clothes off.”

John stands up again and reaches out to help you up. Gazing at you, he unzips the back of your jumpsuit and slides it to the floor. He holds your hands as you step out of it and he smiles when you look back up at him. “There.”

“Thank you. And yes, before you say anything, I’m  _not_  wearing a bra.” you say as the two of you laugh. John tugs your underwear down, then moves to take off his boxers. You sit on the edge of the bed and you come face to face with John’s cock. “Well, hello.”

“So…” John says, putting his hands on his hips and rocking back and forth on his heels, “You said you wanted me in your mouth, remember?”

“I do.” you say and stroke John for a few moments before sliding him into your mouth.

You run your tongue over the tip of John’s cock and moan when he reaches down to grab your breast. John watches as you spread your legs and slide your hand in between your thighs.

_“Oh.”_  he says and smiles, watching you touch yourself. You open your mouth wider, allowing John in further, and he tilts his head back as he moans loudly. “Fuck, you’re so good.”

“You taste so good. The weight of you feels good on my tongue, too. You’re just…mmm.” you close your eyes and suck on your bottom lip. You look up at John as you move lower as he nods. You start to laugh and lean back, “What are they called, John?”

“Don’t make me do this again.” he says, laughing.

You lick your lips as you move lower, “Say it.”

“Balls,” he exhales. His breathing becomes shallow and shaky, and he focuses hard on you as you lick and suck on him. He leans down to kiss you, then points to the bed, “Lay down, baby.”

“Okay.” you wipe the spit off your mouth and smile at him again. You scoot back on the bed, giving John a devious smirk as you roll over onto your stomach.

“Yes!” John exclaims and crawls on top of you, lifting your hips up a little. He slides two fingers against your pussy and laughs, “Soaked, of course.”

“Just for my man.” you say, wiggling your ass.

John slowly guides his cock between your legs and lays you back down as he begins to slowly thrust his hips. “I should have fucked you in the bathroom at the restaurant. Ripped your clothes right off your body.”

You look over your shoulder at John and laugh, “You would  _never_.”

He cocks up an eyebrow and smirks, “Is that a challenge?”

“Maybe.” you say, flashing a sweet smile.

John lifts you up by the hips so you’re kneeling on the bed, and he cups your breasts in his hands, twisting and pinching your nipples, “Next time we go out, I’m fucking you in the bathroom by the end of the night.”

“Can’t wait for–” you get cut off as John begins thrusting harder, “Fuck, John.”

He pushes you back down to lay on the bed, and the sound of his hips hitting your ass and the two of you moaning echoes throughout the room. Grabbing at the sheets, you lift yourself up a little to give John a better angle and he moans loudly in your ear.

“I wanna try something.” you move away from John and tap the bed, “Lay down.”

John lays on the bed and you crawl down to sit on his lap, reverse cowgirl style. “Oh.”

“You’re gonna love this.” you laugh and look over your shoulder at John. His eyes are glued on your ass, and you bounce up and down a little as he laughs. You reach down and slowly guide him back in.

“Look at your ass,” he says, squeezing your ass as you roll your hips, “Fuck.”

You roll your hips faster as John slaps your ass, and you chuckle to yourself when you realize how much he loves this position. Leaning forward a little, you rest your hands on the bed as you bounce up and down and John moans loudly. His hands move up and down your body, from your legs to your back and then to your ass again.

“You like this?” you ask and look over your shoulder at John. His eyes are closed, his mouth is open and he runs his tongue over his lips. “Baby?”

“Fuck,” he moans loudly, jerking his hips under you as he starts to unravel. “Yeah, yeah. I’m sorry…I’m just…”

“Feels good?”

“Feels fucking  _amazing._ ” he says, then bites his lip.

You smile to yourself as you grind against him harder. John sits up straight and wraps his arms around you as his fingers move to rub over your clit. You tremble and whimper into your hand as you lean back against his chest.

“I’m so turned on by you.” he says, pressing kisses to your back. “You do the smallest things, and I’m just… _weak_  for you.”

You stand up and turn around to face John, smiling as you sink back down on him. “Like what?”

“The way you look at me, the way you  _smile_ at me.” he says, and your fingers brush against his back as you wrap your arms around him. “The way you touch me. How you dance around the kitchen and shake your hips a little more when you know I’m watching you. Your hair sometimes falls in your face and you tuck it behind your ear, and then I can see your beautiful face.”

You brush John’s hair out of his face and smile again when your eyes meet. “I love you.”

“Just the most subtle things you do. Like what you just did, you look at me like you’re trying memorize my face, like I’m going to disappear or something.” John starts to laugh, and you lean back a little to look at him.

“Hey, you can never be too sure.” you say and smile, “I honestly will never get sick of your face.”

John starts to laugh as he leans up to kiss you, “Sometimes when you’re really into the book you’re reading and you’re getting towards the end, you set the book down and don’t go back to it for days. I remember one time you finished a book and sat in the chair, just looking out the window for about an hour. I asked if you were okay, and you were crying because you were so sad that it was over.”

“Yeah, I know, kinda dorky.” you say, and John wraps his arms around you tighter, hugging you to his chest.

“It was endearing, made me melt.” he says and looks back up at you, “You cared so much about these people that you had read about in a book that it made you cry. You loved their story so much, you didn’t want it to end, and that just shows how big of a heart you have.”

He tucks your hair behind your ear and leans up to kiss your cheek. Bucking his hips under you, you throw your head back and bite your lip to keep yourself from moaning too loudly. John holds tight to you and flips the two of you over and with each thrust, he moves in deeper.

Cupping each other’s faces, you both start to tremble and press delicate kisses to each other. John’s hand slowly slides to your chest to your stomach, then to your thighs and he looks up at your with adoration in his eyes.

“You’re gorgeous. You look like an absolute dream in everything, whether it’s my t-shirt, or a sweater, jeans, or baggy sweatpants. I still want you.” he says, crooning in your ear.

“What’s gotten into you?” you laugh as John smiles at you. “I’m not complaining, but…you’re being  _very_  sweet tonight.”

“You’re just so beautiful and I love you.”

“I love you, too.” you reply and lean up to kiss him.

“I fell in love with you because you’re sweet, kind, understanding, and a million other reasons that I could spend all night telling you about.” John kneels on the bed and his eyes scan your body again, drinking in every inch of you, “It doesn’t hurt that you look like  _this_ , an absolute dream.”

You shake your head at how unbelievably sweet John is being and pull him back down on top of you. Your lips meet for a wet needy kiss, and he moans loudly into your mouth as he jerks his hips harder. He rests his forehead against yours and the two of you pant together, moaning every so often.

With every thrust, you feel yourself getting closer and closer to completion, and you open your eyes to find John smiling as he watches you. Your legs start to shake and John slows his hips, but continues jerking them hard with every thrust. He intertwines his fingers with yours and pins your arms above your head as he kisses you.

“Fuck, please don’t stop, keep going.” you whimper against John’s chest, and you feel a shiver running from your toes to the top of your head as you come. Kissing on John’s neck, you moan again and tilt your head back to look at him. You run your tongue over your lips and smirk, “Come with me.”

John’s body shudders almost on command, and he lets out an thunderous moan that echoes throughout the room. The warmth pools between your legs, and John rests his head on your chest, trying to catch his breath as he slowly jerks his hips, spilling into you.

He finally rolls off of you, and you both lay there in silence staring at the ceiling. You let out a big breath and look over at John just as he looks over at you. He squeezes your hand tight, and you realize that he must have been holding it the entire time. He brings your hand to his mouth and presses several kisses to it.

“I’m thirsty.” you say, out of breath and John laughs.

“Me, too.”

You sit up a little and wince when you bend at the waist, “Ouch.”

John sits up and smiles, completely proud of himself, “Sorry.”

You crawl back on top of John as you kiss each other and you start to laugh, “Truly the best pain I’ve ever felt. We gotta make it look like we weren’t just fucking each others brains out though.”

You quickly head into the bathroom to clean yourself up, and John smiles at you when you walk over to the dresser. He’s still sprawled out on the bed, tired and drained.

“Are you going to get up?”

John laughs, “I don’t know, maybe. If you can convince me.”

You pull on a clean pair of underwear and some pajama shorts, then you move over to John’s drawer to pull out one of his shirts. John watches you as you pull out some boxers and grab his pajama pants. You throw them to him and pull out a shirt for him to wear. You stand in the mirror and pull your hair up into a messy bun, occasionally looking at John through the mirror as he gets dressed.

“There.” he says, sitting on the edge of the bed.

“Didn’t need much convincing, I see.” you say, turning around to look at him.

John chuckles quietly and nods, “Yeah, well, I know that if I don’t get up, you’ll go down to the kitchen by yourself and I’ll be left alone.”

“Your face is so red, and you’re all sweaty.” you laugh, wiping your hand across his forehead as you sit in his lap.

“You’re the best workout I could ever ask for.” he says, kissing you on the cheek. “I need some water.”

__

John lifts you onto the counter and moves to grab you both a bottle of water. You lean forward a little and smile when you see John grab the M&Ms from the counter. He sits on the stool in front of you, and you stretch your legs out on the counter.

“I know it’s almost midnight, but…I wanted  _chocolate_.” he says, deep and quiet like it’s a secret. He holds up an M&M between his fingers and moves it closer to your mouth to feed you.

You take a big drink of water and try to hold in a laugh, “You and your love for M&Ms is so cute.”

“Why?”

You take a few candies from him and pop them into your mouth, “Because you’re so rich, you would think that you’re only into imported gourmet chocolate from Germany or something.”

John starts to laugh, shaking his head, “No. Well, yeah, I’ve had some good chocolate from there, but nothing can beat these.”

“So cute.” you say, shaking your head and gazing at John, “I had a really good time tonight. It was nice being around all of our family.”

He smiles, “It was.”

“I still can’t wait for everything to just…calm down and go back to normal though. I just want to be able to lay on the couch with you, watch some movie that I’ve convinced you is good.”

“You pick good movies. Except that one movie you picked last time. About that lady that was living on her own in the woods.”

You laugh, “Hey, it had potential.”

“It did.” he says and moves you so your legs are on either side of him. He runs his hands up your thighs and smiles at you as he pulls you into his lap.

“Kinda miss it just being us.” you lick your lips, and John leans forward.

“I do, too.” he says, and before you know it, his mouth is on yours. He pulls back a little to see your face and laughs, “My shirt is  _huge_  on you.”

“I know, but it’s so cozy and soft.”

John lifts your shirt up a little, kissing and biting over your chest, “Your tits…are perfect.”

The front door opens and you hop off of John quickly, and he runs into the back room to fix himself. You sit at the table flipping through a magazine, hoping you don’t look too guilty. Your cheeks are flushed red, you can feel it, and you hold the water bottle to your forehead to cool the fever John was causing.

“Oh, you’re awake.” your mom says as she walks into the kitchen with Dan right behind her. “Where’s Jonathan?”

You try to come up with something as fast as possible, but thankfully John walks into the kitchen; saving you. You point behind her and laugh, “Right there.”

John waves his phone and laughs, “Jimmy called. Wanted to know if I want to go out to a bar tomorrow night and watch some game.”

“Oh, nice,” you say and smile at John, “That’ll be fun for you two.”

John nods and smiles surreptitiously when he turns his back, “So, mom, how was your drive through the city?”

“It was nice, too busy for me. I understand why you live in this little neighborhood. It’s not far from the city, so that’s nice, but it’s also much more quiet here.” she says and sits down next to you at the table, “How did you learn about this place, Jonathan?”

“Well, I work in the city a lot and so I thought I should live somewhere close.” he says, and you look over at him wondering if he’s telling the truth or making it up as he goes along. “It’s still a bit of a drive, but I don’t mind. I like it. I knew I didn’t want to live  _in_  the city, so I started researching neighborhoods around here.”

“Did you know James before or after you moved here?” she asks, and you perk up in your seat.

_You_  don’t even know how John and Jimmy met. You assume they just knew each other from John’s job, maybe they stumbled upon each other when John was working one night.

John shuffles a little in place, then leans against the counter behind him, “After I moved here.”

John looks over at you and he can tell you want to know the whole story. Before you look away, John winks at you; a promise that he’ll tell you all about it later.

“Mill Neck is very…upscale. I can’t think of a better word for it.” Dan says and sits down on the stool next to the counter.

“That it is.” you exhale and close the magazine you were pretending to look at. “I only moved here because April was letting me move into her house. I only ended up paying like $400 a month for rent. Had she never offered for me and Tess to move in, I definitely wouldn’t be here. I’d probably still be back home.”

John looks over at you and smiles, “Well,  _I’m_  glad you’re not back home.”

“Eh, guess it’s okay here.” you joke, smiling back at John.

“There’s just something about Mill Neck that I love, I can’t explain it.” he says, shaking his head.

John likes Mill Neck because it’s almost like a sanctuary for him. He gets to be John. The John he  _wants_  to be, the John that you know and love. He gets to live his life, go to the store, mow the lawn, do every day things that he’d never be able to do if he lived in New York City. This is where John gets to be free. It’s his home.

“It’s very homey.” you say, and John nods.

“Homey?” your mom laughs loudly, “Some of these houses don’t seem very homey when you drive past them. They seem cold and empty.” she looks up at you, almost scared she offended you. “Not  _your_  house though, or your neighborhood. Your house is very nice, very…warm and loving.”

“It wasn’t always like this.” John says and points at you, “Before she moved in, it was very empty.”

“Oh, mom, you would have _hated_  it. Jonathan had like…no pictures around. Everything was white. I was afraid to even sit on the couch, I thought he’d yell at me. I never left anything around, I always made sure to clean up after myself.”

Your mom points at your hair ties and nail polish on the table and laughs, “Not anymore.”

“Well, it’s different now. It’s my home.” you shrug, “Before it just felt like this place that I was existing in, but Jonathan and I went to some shops, and he was  _very_  sweet and he let me pick out everything I liked. Of course I made sure he liked everything as well.”

“Were you honest though? Happy life, happy wife. Isn’t that the saying?” Dan laughs, and your mom silently scolds him.

“Oh, Dan just referred to me as your wife. I like it.” you say as you rest your head on your hand.

John nods his head, letting out a small chuckle, “Well, she has great taste. I loved everything she picked, and I think we have similar tastes. She wanted the house to be…warmer, I think that’s the word she used, and I wanted it to feel like a safe place for her. I wanted her to feel like this was  _our_  home, not just my house that she moved into.”

“A home says a lot about a couple.” your mom says, raising her eyebrows.

“What does our home say about us?” you ask, even though part of you is afraid of the answer.

“Well, it definitely says that you are well taken care of, which as your mother, I really love knowing.” she laughs, reaching for your hand, “All of your pictures that are around, there’s almost one in every room, that says that the couple who lives here is very much in love and very happy with one another…”

“And you love knowing that.” you say, finishing her sentence.

“I do,” she reaches out to pat your cheek, then smiles, “He’s a good man for you.”

“She’s good for me.” John says, smiling from ear to ear.

You roll your eyes at John and tap your mom’s hand, “You should see it here in the fall, it’s beautiful. The trees are so orange and red. There’s this one house a few blocks away that decorates for Halloween, their house is  _huge,_  and they have a whole haunted house on their property.”

“Yeah, they really go all out. I’d love to go there sometime next fall.” John says as he puts the last few dishes in the dishwasher.

“Every fall, Mill Neck has a little apple festival, and they sell all kinds of baked goods, pumpkins, and crafts. Oh, and there’s face painting and carnival rides for kids. Tess and I were gonna go last fall, but we never ended up going.” you say and look over at John. “Guess I got distracted.”

“That sounds like it would be very fun.” your mom says, raising an eyebrow. “Wouldn’t that be fun, Jonathan? Taking your baby down there to the carnival and picking apples?”

You can see John melting at the thought, and you dodge his gaze when he looks at you. Your mom turns around and sees you staring at the table.

“Oh, stop it. I’m just _teasing_  you.” your mom laughs and props her head on her hand. “So, what did you two do after dinner?”

“Got home, changed into our pajamas, came into the kitchen and ate candy.”

“For two hours?” your mom laughs.

“No, we took Bleu for a walk when we got home.” you add and look over at John. He smiles, impressed by how fast you came up with the lie. “The whole time I’ve been trying to convince Mr. Wick to play the piano and it’s not working. Might have to beg, I guess.”

She turns around to look at John and smiles, “You have to show us, Jonathan.”

You put your hands up, silently begging and he laughs. He shakes his head, and you get up to walk over to him.

“Please, please, please. Look, if you play us something, I’ll play you something.” you say and look back at your mom, winking and hoping she’ll play along.

“Oh, she’s good.” your mom stands up and walks over to the two of you.

“You can play the piano?” John asks, skeptically. “How did I not know this?”

“Yeah. I know  _you’re_  good at everything, but I’m good at things too, Jonathan. Remember, gymnastics…” you say, smirking a little.

“Right.” he nods, watching you move past him and into the living room.

You sit down at the piano and John smiles as you place your fingers on the keys. “Ready?”

“Ready.” John smiles.

You take a deep breath, closing your eyes as you pretend you’re about to play some wonderful concert for them. You open your eyes again, smiling at John and start playing the tune of _Mary Had a Little Lamb_. John lets out a loud laugh and shakes his head.

“She’s so full of shit.” Dan says and you laugh. “She had you going there for a minute, didn’t she?”

“I have to admit, she did.” John says and sits down next to you, “I don’t know how to play anything, I was going to try and learn, but like I said, work got in the way. But I promise to learn and when I do, I’ll play it for you right away.”

You bump John’s shoulder with yours and continue pressing random keys, “Oh, I do know the theme from  _Jaws_  too.”

“You are _so_  talented.” John jokes, and you laugh hard. John reaches out for your mom’s hand and asks to see her ring. “You did a good job, Dan. It’s a beautiful ring.”

“Thank you.” Dan says and kisses your mom’s hand.

You watch your mom and Dan as they hold each other, staring at her ring and find yourself growing sad. Your mom looks at Dan and smiles wide as she leans into kiss him.

“Okay, you two. We’re heading to bed, our flight is pretty early tomorrow.” she says, and you stand up to hug her. “I love you, baby.”

“I love you, mom.” you say and start to tear up at the thought of her going home. “I’m trying to keep myself composed here. Can’t cry.”

You move to hug Dan and he cups your face, then kisses your forehead. “Love you, kiddo.”

“Love you. Okay, well, I’m crying now. Thanks.” you say and sit back down next to John as you wipe the tears off your face. “Love you both. I’ll see you in the morning.”

You and John sit in silence for a moment, and you press a random key on the piano as you sigh. His hand is firm on your back and it slowly slides down to your waist, then he pulls your closer.

“Should we head upstairs?”

Without answering, John stands and picks you up, cradling you in his arms as he walks back into your room. He plops you back down in bed and sits down next to you.

“Hey, you okay?” he asks, brushing your hair away your face.

You nod your head and start to tear up again, “I’m sorry.”

“Hey, hey, hey. Don’t apologize.” he says, moving to sit back on the bed and hold you in his arms. He pulls your chin up to meet his gaze, “I’ll be right back, okay?”

“Okay.” you nod and lean up to kiss John.

John gets up from the bed to leave the room, and you hear him talking to Bleu as he walks down the stairs. After a few minutes, he comes back holding a tray with a big piece of cake on it.

“We still have some cake left over, I thought right now would be the _perfect_  time to eat some. Oh, and I got you some tissues and some water.”

“Thank you.” you say quietly and watch as John cuts a small piece of cake, then tries to feed you. You keep your mouth closed and you stare at the blanket, avoiding eye contact with John.

“Do I have to feed you like we fed Harper? Pretending the airplane is coming? Okay, here it comes.” he jokes, and you finally look up at him, slowly smiling. You open your mouth and John feeds you a tiny piece of cake as you laugh. “There she is. There’s my girl.”

You exhale heavily and lean your head against John’s. “Ugh, I’m sorry. I have no idea what’s gotten into me all of the sudden.”

“It seems to me that you’re upset that your mom is going to marry Dan.” John says, then jerks his head back, shocked by how blunt he’s being. “I’m sorry, that was really forward.”

You start to laugh and reach out to tap John’s hand. “It’s okay. No, I’m not upset that she’s going to marry Dan. I’ve wanted her to marry him since I was little, I’ve always loved him. They’ve been together for as long as I can remember, and they literally never fight.” you roll your eyes and laugh, “Well, they did fight a few times, but that was because of Leah. Are we surprised?”

“No.” John laughs.

“They just get along so well, it was like…fate when they met. Everything just lined up perfectly.”

“How long have they been together?”

“Oh, gosh.” you look up at the ceiling as you think, then look back at John and notice the frosting stuck in his beard, “You have frosting stuck in your beard, you dork.”

“Oh,” he wipes his beard, completely missing it, then looks at you, “Did I get it?”

“No,” you laugh as you wipe the frosting from his beard and suck it off your thumb, “There. Anyway, they met when I was about 8 or 9.”

“Wow, they’ve been together for a while then.”

“Oh, because I’m  _so_  old.” you shake your head as John laughs.

“You know I do  _not_ think that.” John smiles and takes a bite of the cake, “How did they meet?”

“It’s so cliche, but my mom saw this single dad struggling to figure out his daughter’s favorite foods while he was grocery shopping and of course, my mom being the angel that she is, offered to help him shop. She left her cart behind and just went down each aisle with him.” you say, tearing up a little, “She gave him her number, like, completely innocently, she had no intentions to go out with him. She was a single mom with two girls. She had  _no_  time.”

“She definitely had her hands full.” he laughs.

You nod, “She did. But Dan had called her a few times for advice with Leah. She was like…the spawn of Satan. Anyway, my mom ended up…falling in love with him, and he was completely oblivious to it. Reminds me so much of Jimmy, and a little bit of you too.”

“No, I knew you were in love with you.” he says, then laughs, “Just kidding, I was  _shocked_  when you told me that you loved me too.”

You let out a small laugh and look down at your hands, “So, my mom fell in love with Dan, finally told him, but she knew that Leah would never want to live with us so they just…lived separately. All these years. He’s at my mom’s house more than his own, but…of course it’s not the same.”

“Think they’ll live together once they’re married?”

You shrug and tear up, “I don’t know, my mom so badly doesn’t want to hurt Leah’s feelings. It’s sad how much my mom has tried to get Leah to like her. She would take Leah out to the mall, buy her things, and spend the day with her, but…Leah just never wanted anything to do with my mom.”

John reaches over and wipes a tear away, “Your mom is really sweet.”

“She is.” you laugh and sniffle. “Dan is a lucky guy. They definitely had their ups and downs, like any couple. No couple is perfect, obviously. We’re certainly not. We’re gonna have days where we just want to be alone,  _I’m_  gonna have days where I just…need to cry and be left alone. I’m sure you will too.”

“Yeah…” John nods and looks down as he fidgets with his watch.

“But I never want you to think that when I’m having a bad day that I don’t want you or don’t love you.” you say and lean over to kiss John.

“You’re trying to change the subject, peach.” he says and you laugh.

You sigh and look over at John. He knows you better than you’d like to admit. “I’m not upset that she’s getting married, I knew it would happen eventually.”

“Why don’t you call him dad?”

“Okay, I guess we’re going there.” you say and play with the ring on your finger. “Uh…I don’t call him dad because, well, Leah would burst into flames if I did and I never wanted to upset her – that was Tess’ job. I don’t know why I don’t call him dad though. It’s not that I don’t think of him as a dad, because I definitely do. He’s done more for me than my actual father did. He came to every concert we had, every gymnastics meet, he was  _always_ there. When my mom had to work and couldn’t make it for school meetings or parents day at school, Dan was there.”

“Will you tell me about him? Your father?” John rubs his hand over your thigh, comforting you. “If you want.”

“Well, from what I know, my mom and him were super in love. They weren’t married, but they lived together, I think they might have been engaged, I’m not sure, or maybe they were about to be engaged. Sorry, I’m rambling now…” you laugh a little and take a deep breath. “Um, my mom found out that she was pregnant with me, and so she told him.”

“He was upset?”

“No, surprisingly, he was happy. Until I was born.” you look over at John and he furrows his brow in anger. “Then that’s when everything changed. He left my mom alone to take care of a newborn, and when I was about 12, I actually saw him in town. I knew it was him because I had seen pictures of him before.”

You start cry a little harder and John instantly moves closer to hold you, “It’s okay, you don’t have to tell me any more.”

“I…walked right up to him and he recognized me right away. He knew who I was, I could see it on his face. He  _knew._  I asked him if he knew who I was, just to see what he’d say. He turned his back and walked away.”

You take a tissue and wipe away the tears on your face as John grips on you only gets tighter. He sits up a little and hugs you tight to his chest, letting you cry it out for a few moments. You exhale loudly and John kisses your cheek as you pull away.

You’re not one to dwell on the past. You usually like to resolve a problem, then move on from it. But you haven’t talked about your dad in a long time, and the more you think about it, the more you realize that you’ve never really talked about him before. A lot of your insecurities come from him and your childhood.

Even though you’re crying your eyes out, you can tell that John is loving that you feel comfortable enough to let him hear this story. He takes a deep breath and looks at you carefully, exhaling slowly. He smiles when you look up at him, waiting for you to continue.

“When I got home, I heard my mom on the phone and she was yelling at someone, so I snuck closer to listen and I heard her talking to him. She just kept saying that I was just a kid and I couldn’t have _ruined_ his life. I guess he was upset that I ran up to him while he was in the store with his new wife…and baby.”

“Fucker.” John says under his breath, and you smile at how protective John is of you.

“My mom saw me, of course, you know I’m not very sneaky.” you look over at John, and the corner of his mouth turns up a bit as he begins to smile. “She told me that he didn’t matter, what he thought, said, and felt didn’t matter. That having me was the best thing  _she_  had ever done.”

“I agree.” John says and you laugh.

“Of course you do.”

“So, he was already in a relationship with a wonderful woman, had a baby on the way, and then you were born, he just took off to do it all over with someone else?” he asks, still holding tight to you.

“Yup, pretty much.”

“What a fucking asshole.” John cups your face and leans his forehead against yours, “I love you so much.”

You watch John as he grabs the used tissues from the bed and puts them on the tray. He moves it to the floor and lifts the covers for you to get under them.

Laying in each others arms, John looks at you and smiles, “So, are you going to tell me why you were so upset? Don’t think you can get away that easily.”

“Uh…” you start to laugh and quickly look away from John.

“Come on, peach.”

“I guess it’s kind of a combination of things.” you shrug and play with John’s fingers, “I feel so emotionally drained from these past few weeks. Well, more like months, really. It was like, everything happened with us, things worked out – just like I knew they would. But then we watched the kids, then Tess found out she was pregnant, we watched the kiddos again, Tess’ wedding, the drama  _at_  the wedding. I’m just exhausted, you know?”

“I get that.” he frowns.

“No,” you shake your head and roll over on your side a little, “I’m not blaming you. None of this is your fault. I just…haven’t had this much excitement in my life in so long, and I can’t wait for it all to calm down so _we_  can get back to  _our_  life and stop focusing on everyone else. I want to…move forward in our life.”

John looks at you and smiles weakly, “Is that the only thing that’s bothering you?”

“I just…feel like everyone is getting married except for me. We love each other, we want to be together,  _why are we waiting?_ ” you say and John starts to laugh. “Sorry, I just feel like it’s happening for everyone. Even my mom and she’s… _old_.”

“You’re getting married, baby.” he says, hugging you tight.

“Okay, but when?” you roll over and lean your head on John’s chest.

“When I ask you.”

“Ugh!” you flop over to your right side, facing away from John, “I guess I’ll just have to propose to you then.”

“Don’t you dare.” he says, leaning over your shoulder to see your face. “ _I’m_ going to do it. You’re not like, going to break up with me if I don’t do it soon, are you?”

“No.” you look over your shoulder and smile, “I wanna be with you forever, even if you don’t want to get married again.”

“But I do want to get married again.  _To you_.” John says, and you roll over onto your back. John hovers above you, smiling when your eyes meet. “God, I can’t wait to marry you.”

“Obviously you can, since you still haven’t proposed.” you say under your breath. You look over at John as he starts to laugh.

“I heard that.”

“Well, of course you did, I’m right here.” you quip.

“Oh, you smart ass.”

John crawls on top of you, wrapping your legs around his waist, and he pins your hands above your head. He tries his best to be intimidating with you, but as soon as you start to laugh, a smile spreads across his face. He grips both of your wrists in one hand and you watch as he slowly moves his hand to your stomach.

“Not fair. You have me restrained, this is  _so_  not fair.” you say and laugh hard when John begins to tickle you. “Jonathan!”

“Payback!”

You laugh hysterically and kick your legs, pushing John off of you, “Stop!”

“Okay, okay.” he finally stops and leans down to kiss you, “You probably woke your mom up.”

“She’s a heavy sleeper, remember?”

John’s hand is still on your stomach, and you feel it slowly moving to the waistband of your pajama shorts. You tilt your head up a little and watch as his hand sneaks into your underwear. Looking back at John, he watches you closely as he slowly inserts his fingers and you see him swallow hard as his eyes roll shut.

He finally lets go of your wrists, and he covers your mouth as he pumps his fingers in and out. Laying your hand on top of John’s, you push his fingers in further and moan as you slowly close your eyes. You feel John kiss your forehead and you finally open your eyes to look at him.

The two of you stare at each other for moment and immediately sit up to take your clothes off, throwing them to the floor carelessly. John quickly gets up to lock the bedroom door, then his mouth is back on yours as his hand dives between your legs.

“Mmm,” he hums and leans up to watch his fingers. “You feel so good on my fingers.”

You arch your back as John moves his fingers in deeper, and you grab at his back to pull him on top of you. John slowly guides himself between your legs and you both take deep breaths, eyes rolling shut from the pleasure.

“I love you,” he says, kissing you repeatedly. “Future Mrs. Wick.”

“God, you’re so cheesy.”


	52. Chapter 52

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **warnings:** nsfw

Today has  _not_  been one of your best days. Edna, the older woman who always comes into the shop with a coupon weeks past its expiration date, showed up and  _demanded_  you still take it. She’s done it multiple times now and you give in every time. Then the new girl who you hired months ago got into an argument with her boyfriend right in the middle of the store, which of course, you had to diffuse and you missed your lunch break as a result.

You sit in the car a little longer, trying your hardest to convince yourself to get out. Your feet are killing you, your head is pounding, and on top of it all, you have a stomach ache. Exhaling loudly, you rest your head against the steering wheel and close your eyes.

“I don’t want to move.” you say to yourself, then you stretch your back, listening to it crack like popcorn in the microwave, “Jesus, I’m getting old.”

Knowing John is in the house and waiting for you is enough to finally motivate you to get out of the car. Walking into the house, you lean against the door as you pull off your shoes and drop your bag to the floor.

“I’m home!” you yell, then listen to figure out where John is. “Wick?”

“I’m in my office.”

There’s a little pep in your step as you make your way to John’s office. You still feel like shit, but you haven’t seen or talked to him all day, and you’re missing him like crazy.

“Hey!” he says, nearly bumping into you as he comes around the corner, “I forgot how cute you looked today.”

John backs away a little, and you roll your eyes as you spin for him. You rub your hands over your face, then bury yourself in his arms as he kisses the top of your head.

“What’s wrong, baby?”

You huff loudly and shrug, “I had a bad day. My head hurts, my stomach hurts. Everything is sucky.”

Before you can stop him, John lifts you up into his arms and walks over to the couch. He sets you down and puts a blanket over your lap, then he heads into the kitchen. He comes out a few moments later with a bottle of water and ibuprofen.

“This will help.” he says, and he looks over his shoulder when he hears Tess’ car in the driveway. “I’ll be right back.”

From the couch, you watch John as he shakes hands with Jimmy and he hugs Tess. Tess puts her hand over her heart when he starts to talk to her, and she immediately pushes past the two of them to come inside.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” you nod, getting off the couch to hug her.

Tess puts her hands out and runs to the couch, “No, no, no, lay down. You don’t feel good. You’re sick.”

“Is that what he said?” you laugh and sit back down as John and Jimmy come inside. “I’m not sick, I just have a headache and my stomach hurts. Just a bad day at work.”

“What happened?” Jimmy asks, sitting down in the chair across from you.

“Edna.” you say and look at Tess as she sits in Jimmy’s lap.

Tess groans, “ _The fucking worst_. Always comes in and takes advantage of you. You’re too nice.”

John sits down next to you, laying your legs across his lap, “Does she?”

“Yeah, she’s pretty bad.” you laugh, “One time she came in with a coupon from a different store, but she thought we were one of those places that will…like, compare prices. We’re obviously not, we’re a bookstore. A used bookstore. Anyway, she came in and yelled at me.”

“Screamed. She _screamed_  at you.” Tess says, correcting you. “I finally walked right over to her and told her she needed to leave. She can’t come in there and talk to you like that. Not on my watch.”

You look over at John and smile, “Protective big sister. Anyway, Bernard ended up calming her down, and he apologized to me over and over, probably hoping I wasn’t going to quit since we were short staffed at the time. Anyway, today she had a coupon from our sale last fall, so I just…took the fucking coupon. She was still bitter and rude…and soul sucking.”

“I’m sorry you had to deal with that.” John says, rubbing his thumb against your cheek.

Tess and Jimmy are whispering, and she looks over at John, nodding, “So…”

John clears his throat and scoots up the couch a little, “I was talking to Tess the other night, and we were thinking–”

“No!” you get off the couch and walk into the kitchen. “ _Absolutely no_ _t!_  I know what you’re going to say, and it’s not going to happen, Jonathan.”

You know John and you know this was probably his idea, or at least him and Tess planned this together. He just happened to keep mentioning Rome for the past few weeks, how great the fashion is, the music, making Italian cuisine. You laugh to yourself when you remember he even changed the background image on the laptop to the Trevi Fountain. You peek back into the living room and see them all staring at you as you walk back out.

“Tess, why? It’s your  _honeymoon_.” you say, sitting down next to John.

“Listen, you need to shut up.” Tess laughs and sits on the coffee table in front of you, “It’ll be fun. I mean, it would be fun without you two, but it will be so much more fun  _with_  you. Remember how badly we wanted to go when we were little? We tried so hard to save money.”

“We forced mom to make Italian food for two weeks straight.” you laugh.

“I couldn’t even  _look_ at noodles for like, two years after.”

John wraps his arm around your waist, scooting closer, “Tess told me how you two wanted to go when you were younger. Even showed me the little book you two put together.”

“Oh, no…” you laugh and put your hands over your face. “That’s embarrassing. A little bit unrealistic for two teenagers.”

“It was cute,” Jimmy laughs, “Tess wants to eat gelato and take a gondola ride.”

“Come on, it’ll be fun.” John says in a singsong manner.

“Why are you acting like you haven’t already bought the tickets?” you ask, standing up to let Bleu inside, and you lean how to pat his belly when he sits in front of you.

“I actually haven’t.” he says, laughing.

Tess is looking at her phone and she hops up, “Look! Look, how pretty it is in the spring. Just picture you and John sitting on this bench. Imagine all the cute pictures we can take, imagine how jealous everyone will be when they see that your fucking boyfriend took you to Rome.”

“I mean, I’m not… _against_  it. I just don’t want to impose on your time with Jimmy. It’s your honeymoon.” you say, looking over at John as he juts out his bottom lip, begging. “Oh, now you’re going to beg?”

“It’ll be fun.” he says, standing up and walking over to you.

“Fine.” you say, not putting up much of a fight; deep down, you’re dying to go. “Fine, yeah, let’s go.”

Tess and Jimmy high five each other, and she crawls into his lap, wrapping her arms around him as she kisses him. John claps his hands together and wraps his arms around you tight as you bury your face in his chest.

“You’re going to love it. It’s so beautiful there. The buildings, the sculptures, the people, everything.” he kisses the top of your head and pulls you back to make eye contact. “Do you actually want to go? If you don’t, I can tell them no.”

“No! Look how happy they are.” You peek around John and see Tess and Jimmy, who are full on making out and you laugh.

John turns around and almost falls over as he pushes you into the kitchen quickly. His cheeks are bright red and his eyes are wide in shock. “They deserve some privacy.”

“You’re so cute.” you say, hopping onto the counter with John’s help.

“ _You_  are so cute. Look at you today.” he says and takes a step back to look at you. You kick your legs out in front of you and John grabs your feet. The warmth from his hands soak into your skin and you close your eyes as he massages your feet, “Feel good?”

“Yeah, my feet hurt so bad from standing on them all week.” you start to laugh when John tickles your foot and you pull it out of his grasp, reaching out for him and pulling him back to you.

Running your fingers through his hair, you massage his scalp and for a minute, you think he’s going to sink into the floor. His hair is so thick and soft, and it always smells like the honey scented shampoo you buy.

“That feels so good.” he laughs and closes his eyes, and they snap open moments later as he gasps, “I don’t think I’ve kissed you since you’ve been home.”

“You haven’t,” you say, frowning, “I was wondering when you were going to notice.”

John leans closer to you and pulls your legs to wrap around his waist. His hands are warm as they glide up your dress and onto your hips. His fingers wrap around the waistband of your underwear, and he stares at you straight-faced as he pulls them down. He brushes his nose against yours a few times before finally kissing you.

He throws your underwear on the counter, and you wrap your arms around each other as the kisses become deep and desperate. Opening your mouth, you taste John’s tongue, sweet and warm. He moans quietly as your hands trail down his shoulders and onto his pecs.

“Hey,” Tess clears her throat and you both jump. John buries his face in the crook of your neck and you know he’s humiliated beyond belief. “We’re, uh, going to head out now. We’re going out to dinner.”

“Okay. I’ll see you tomorrow.” you say as you wipe the spit off your mouth and pull John in closer.

“Embarrassed?” Tess mouths and points to John.

“Very.” you mouth back, nodding.

Tess starts to smirk and looks over at your underwear on the counter. As she turns to leave the kitchen, John sits back up and Tess peeks back in, “Don’t forget your underwear in the fruit bowl.”

“Oh, my god.” John says, burying his face in your chest. Tess’ laugh is loud and it fades as she closes the door behind her.

“You are the cutest thing I’ve ever seen.” you cup his face in your hands and kiss his nose.

“You work tomorrow?” he sighs, “It’s Sunday, isn’t it closed anyway?”

You grab your underwear out of the fruit bowl, still laughing and head for your bedroom. John runs to the front door to lock it and before you even make it to the bedroom, he’s wrapping his arms around you and kissing your neck.

“Hi, baby.” you plop down on your stomach next to Bleu and hide your face as he tries to lick you.

“Look, he misses his mom.” John lays on top of you and kisses the back of your neck where your hair has exposed it. “We miss you.”

You glance over your shoulder as he bucks his hips a little. He leans down more to kiss you, and Bleu licks his cheek causing you both to laugh.

“Gross.” you laugh and hide your face again.

“Bleu, go lay down.” John commands, and Bleu hops off the bed and heads for the living room.

John’s hands slide underneath you to caress your breasts and he bucks his hips again. You know he wants to sex and honestly, you do too.

Sex is never a scheduled thing for you and John, it never has been. The two of you have a  _very_ healthy sex life, and going a day or more without sex is an uncommon thing. But you’ve just been working so much that by the time you get home, you’re exhausted and just want to eat and go to bed. Just at the thought of food, your stomach rumbles and John rolls off you, laughing.

“Hungry?”

“Yeah, I haven’t eaten since breakfast. I didn’t get a lunch break today.” you sigh and roll over to your back.

John quickly stands up and reaches out for your hands, “I’ll make dinner, and you can tell me about your day, how does that sound?”

Burying your face in his chest, you inhale his cologne and nod, “Sounds good to me.”

__

The breeze is perfect tonight, and the sun is setting and shining on the patio. Unlike the back patio, the side patio gets perfect sunlight, which is why Tess chose to have her wedding here. The lights from her wedding are still up, and as the sun goes down further, they automatically come on.

John’s shoulder droop and he looks up at you, “Didn’t grab anything for you to drink. Want some wine? A beer?”

“Uh…” you think it through for a moment and shake your head as he gets up from the table, “No, uh, just water is fine.”

“Just water.” he repeats and quickly heads inside to grab a bottle.

You take a bite of your grilled cheese and close your eyes, savoring every bite. John always makes it to perfection, of course. The cheese is perfectly melted, both sides are toasted just enough, giving it a crunch but melting in your mouth with every bite.

“It is good?” John asks, cracking open your water and handing it to you.

You put your hand over mouth, talking with your mouth full, “I will never understand how you’re so good at cooking.”

John’s cheeks flush with color every time you compliment him, and it’s pretty much the cutest thing you’ve ever seen. John can be doing to the most basic of things like washing the dishes, or moving the couch a little to vacuum and you’re there, complimenting and praising him.

John starts to blush and shrugs, “Just read a few books, nothing big. So, tell me about your day.”

You sit back in your chair, stretching your legs out to rest your feet in John’s lap and start to laugh when you see cheese stuck in his beard. You lean forward, wiping it off and smile at him as he starts to massage your legs and feet.

“Well, you heard about Edna.” you say, and John laughs.

“I did.”

“You remember Grace? The girl who always flirts with you when you come in?” you ask and John furrows his brow, trying to remember. “Oh, please. You remember her. She’s like, tiny, and she’s  _so_  adorable.”

“Sounds like you.” he says, tickling your feet.

“Stop!” you laugh and shake your head. “You remember her.”

John slowly shakes his head and shrugs, “I really don’t remember.”

You let out a small laugh and smile at John. He probably genuinely doesn’t remember, and it melts your heart that he really does only have eyes for you. The two of you smile at each other and you lean forward to kiss him.

“Well, anyway, she got into a huge fight with her boyfriend right in the  _middle_  of the store! So I had to try and diffuse it. I wanna thank you for never arguing with me in public.”

“Never.” John starts to laugh and rubs your cheek. He props his head on his fist and gazes at you, waiting for you to continue.

_He’s always been such a good listener_ _,_ you think to yourself and smile.

One time, you went on a 20 minute rant about a movie he had never even seen, he listened carefully the whole time and gave his review when you were done talking. He, of course, agreed with you: the movie was shit.

“Anyway, they got into this _huge_  fight and because of that, I missed my lunch break.” you slouch a little and look at John. “In comparison to how you spend your work days…it seems pretty trivial, doesn’t it?”

“No,” he stands up and takes your plate, bending down to kiss the top of your head. “It’s understandable. I would be pretty upset, too.”

You can tell something is bothering him and as you start to clean the dishes, he stops you. You look at him and brush his hair out of his face, “Are you okay, baby?”

“I’m fine.” he smiles softly.

“Jonathan, I know you always say know me better than anyone – that’s true, you do – but I think you forget how well I know  _you_.” you grab his hands and push him to sit down again, “No one will  _ever_  know you as well as I do. So, fess up. What’s wrong?”

John hangs his head and sighs loudly, and you immediately get up to sit in his lap. You wrap your arm around his shoulder and cup his face in your hand to make him look at you.

“You can tell me anything, Jonathan.  _Please_. That’s why I’m here.” you kiss his cheek and and smile, “I’m here to listen to you.”

“You’re not sick of me, are you?” he asks, forlorn and miserable, “You still…love me, right?”

“No, of course I’m not sick of you. Why would you say that?”

“You’ve worked every day this week, and now you’re working tomorrow and the shop isn’t even open.” he says, and you can tell he immediately feels guilty for saying anything. “I know you love your job, and I’m not trying to come in between you and your job. You’ve just been working so much lately, you deserve a break.”

“I’m only working because Bernard is looking to sell the shop, he wants to retire so he can spend some time with his wife. She’s ill, and he wants to be home with her. So I have to go through piles of books that have been in the storage room for ages, just to clean it up some for any potential buyers. Trust me, I would _much_  rather be at home with you.”

“So it’s not because you’re sick of me?”

“Definitely not.” you smile and pepper his neck with kisses. “And…I  _definitely_ still love you, I’m a little offended that you think I could ever stop.”

“I feel like I’ve barely seen you this week.” John sighs and leans his head against yours. “I just miss you so much.”

“I know, but hopefully someone will buy the shop soon, then I won’t have to keep working all this overtime.” you look up at John and kiss him. “How about this, you come in with me tomorrow? The shop is closed, we can grab some coffee and donuts, then head to the shop to pack some boxes.”

“Really? I’d love to.” he nods, and you cock up an eyebrow. “No, seriously, I want to spend some time with you.”

“Good! It’ll be me, you, and Tess. With your help, we’ll probably get everything done pretty quick too, so then you and I can have extra time together.” you lean closer to John’s face and smile, “Just us.”

__

“Well, guess it’s just you and I.” you say, walking back into the storage room.

John is sitting on the floor in a sea of books and he looks up at you, “What happened?”

“Tess is feeling super nauseous today. Her morning sickness is really bad lately, and she has to go into the doctor to see what’s up. She said not to worry about it though.” you sigh and look at John, “So, it’s just us.”

You sit down on the floor in front of John, kicking off your boots to get more comfortable. He’s somehow managed to find a tourists guide to Italy, and he keeps showing you pictures.

“Look at this place.” he says excitedly, pointing at the picture. “I’ve been there, they have gelato that is…incredible.”

“Well, we’ll definitely have to check that place out.” you scoot closer to John and lean your head on his shoulder, “Oh, The Baths of Caracalla. I think that looks fun.”

“ _Yeah,”_  John nods slowly and avoids your gaze, “Could be fun with you.”

You laugh and look up at John, “Been there before?”

He shrugs and finally looks at you, “Yeah.”

“Kinda funny.” you say as you kneel on the floor to pack up a box, “Caracalla was assassinated.”

“Well,  _I_  didn’t do it.”

You laugh loudly and look over your shoulder at John, “Clearly, Jonathan. He was assassinated in like…217 AD. Unless you’re a time traveler, or maybe even a vampire.”

“I  _do_ hate garlic.” he says, smiling wide when you laugh again.

“If that isn’t the biggest lie you’ve ever told me…”

You stand up, lifting a box onto the cart and feel John’s lips on your thigh. His hand slides under your dress and up to your ass, and he squeezes hard when he feels you’re only wearing a thong.

“I miss you.” he says, kissing his way to your inner thigh. He pulls you down to straddle him and his lips are on yours in a matter of seconds. Kissing you feverishly, he pulls away only to move his lips to your neck.

“I’m sorry we haven’t really had any time together lately. I’m just trying to work as much as possible so I can this stuff done.”

John nods, “I know.”

“Is that why you asked if I still love you?” you sit between John’s legs and cup his face, “Because I haven’t been around, because we haven’t had sex in a few days?”

“I know it’s stupid.” John sighs deeply and shrugs when he looks up at you, “It’s never been a problem for us before, so I thought maybe, I don’t know, you were just not interested in me. And then after we ate last night, your stomach still hurt, so I didn’t want to try to initiate anything and upset you even more.”

“Oh, Jonathan Wick.” you lean your head on his chest as you laugh, “I am  _so_ interested in you, you have no idea. It seriously breaks my heart that you think I would just…stop being interested in you. I will  _never_  lose interest in you.”

John lets out a small laugh and looks down at your hand on his belt buckle, “I just miss you. I miss being with you. I guess I really took it for granted when you had all that time off this past month or so.”

“Well, we’re alone now…” you run your hands up his chest and grab his pecs.

“Can we?” he asks, watching you stand up and sit on the table.

You tap the table and raise an eyebrow, “Fuck me right here.”

John doesn’t hesitate as he stands up and moves closer to you. You tug John’s pants down and they pool around his ankles; his cock is already hard and pressing against the opening of his boxers. He buries his face in your hair as you slide his boxers down and when you begin stroking him, you feel him melt under your touch almost instantly.

John pulls away to look at you and a smile spreads across both of your faces as he pulls your dress over your head. You unhook your bra, and you jump a little when you hear a loud crash from John shoving the books off the table. His hands gently run down every curve of your body, and you hum when he leans down and kisses your thighs.

“I’m touch starved.” you let out a small laugh and watch John pull off your underwear, “Guess I didn’t realize how much I missed your hands on me until now.”

“You’ve been working, it’s okay.” he stands up straight and pulls his shirt over his head, “Are you sure this is okay? Us doing this here?”

“Yeah, the door is locked.” You scoot down the table a little as John begins to insert himself. You squeeze your eyes shut, wincing as John slowly pushes himself in further and you gasp loudly, “God, I always forget.”

“Forget what?”

“How big you are.” you say and watch John as he starts to beam. “You’re so proud of yourself.”

“I mean…” he shrugs, laughing, “I’m pretty proud of it. Only because you love it so much.”

“You should be, it’s amazing.” you say and reach down, slowly inserting him further and letting out a loud moan. “It’s beautiful.”

“You think it’s beautiful?” John says and tries not to laugh, but he’s clearly loving the attention.

“Yes. It’s like so…” you flail your hands in the air and laugh. “Big, thick, and just a little curved which is perfect because you know just where my g-spot is and you hit it _every_  time. The tip is so soft and…” you groan loudly as John thrusts hard. “Fuck…”

John starts to laugh a little and holds tight to your thighs as he spreads your legs further. “I still think this is so hot, how flexible you are.”

“John…” you whine a little and look down as he slides in and out.

You grab at John’s arms, needing him desperately and he leans over, pressing kisses to your stomach and his tongue glides over your ribs as you arch your back. Sitting up straight, you crash your lips to his, sloppy and wet.

“This isn’t going to work, baby.” John turns around, neatly placing his pants and shirt on the floor, then he grabs your dress and holds it up, “Can I use this?”

“Uh, sure.” you nod and continue watching as he lays it on top of his jeans and shirt.

“How about this?” he says, gesturing to the floor and the makeshift bed that he seems so proud of.

“Why don’t we just go home? Or…” you look at John and smirk, “Your car is parked out back…”

“I can’t last that long,” he lays down on the floor and reaches for your hands. “I need you now.”

“That’s very flattering, thank you.” you say as you straddle him. Closing your eyes, you slide back down his cock and lay against his chest, and his breath is hot on your neck as he sucks and bites your skin.

His hands slide up your thighs and onto your hips, guiding you, and you sit up straight and rotate your hips, causing John to moan loudly, “That’s my girl. Riding me so well.”

You look at John and smile when your eyes meet, “I love the way you talk to me, Jonathan.”

Placing your hands on the floor next to John’s head, you slowly roll your hips and he closes his eyes, tilting his head back on the floor.

“Fuck, keep doing that. Baby, I’m so close already. I missed you so much.” he says, sucking on your nipple.

“Spank me.” you say, and you watch John’s eyes light up. He slides his hand down your back and lightly slaps your ass. You run your tongue over your lips and John leans forward, wanting a taste. Cupping his face in one hand, you push your tongue into his mouth as you grind against him, “Mmm, harder, baby.”

“Your ass is so fucking nice.” he grunts and slaps your ass in both hands, squeezing it hard as he bounces you up and down on his cock. “I never considered myself to be an ass man until I met you. Your cute little ass in those jeans the first time I met you.”

“You were checking out my ass?”

“Uh…” John looks away quickly, and you can tell he feels bad for it.

He’s never been anything but a perfect gentleman to you, he’s always respectful and considerate to you. He never leered at you when you first met, touched you when you didn’t want him to. John knows how to treat a woman, and you love it.

“It’s okay, I was checking out yours too. And your arms, your pecs, your  _gorgeous_  face,” you say and lean down to kiss John. “I even checked out the front of your pants. I won’t lie, I had a suspicion that you’re huge, and boy, was I right.”

John starts to laugh and his cheeks flush with even more color, “Yeah, sorry. I can’t help myself sometimes, I always have to check you out. You looked extra fucking cute that day.”

“Cute?”

“You’re hands down the most beautiful woman I’ve  _ever_ seen, but that day, I don’t know you were just so… _cute_.”

“So did you think about me before we were together when you would, ya know…” you start to smirk and John covers his face with one hand. “I’ll take that as a yes.”

“I did, but it was only once. Okay, maybe a few times.”

“A  _few_  times?” you put your hand over your heart, “I’m honored.”

“It’s not like I had seen you around for  _months._ I saw you only a few weeks before I talked to you. Best decision ever, by the way.” John wraps his arms around your back and pulls you closer, pressing his lips to yours and kissing you with no end in sight. He finally opens his eyes to look at you and smiles, “You’re all I ever wanted, I’ve never wanted someone this bad.”

“Well, I want  _you_  on top of  _me_ _._  Right now.”

“Demanding.” he laughs and carefully lays you down on your back. He taps his finger on your nose and smiles, “I like it.”

Biting your lip, you arch your back as John slides back in, pumping his hips fast and you both moan in unison. John brushes your hair out of your face and stares at you, eyes flickering over every inch of your face and you smile as your eyes roll shut.

“I’ve missed you.” he says as he kisses down your chest and over your nipple, “Missed touching you, kissing you…”

“Uh, you still kissed me.” you laugh.

“You know what I mean, mouse.”

John starts to roll his hips faster and you feel him beginning to twitch. He lifts up your leg and hits your hidden spot relentlessly, causing you to cry out and moan loudly, “John! Fuck,  _right_  there…right there, baby.”

You open your mouth to talk, but he slips his tongue in, kissing you mercilessly. You pull your knees up a little as John thrusts deeper, and you let out a string of moans and whimpers as he moans your name.

“Fuck, Jonathan,” you almost scream, squeezing your eyes shut. He starts to smile and he leans down, kissing you and you wrap your legs around his waist as your fingernails dig into his back. His thrusts become frantic and you feel yourself weakening. “Baby, you feel so good.”

“Come for me, baby. This is all I’ve wanted.” he says, kissing you frantically. Unrelentingly, he rolls his hips and you moan loudly into his mouth. “All week, this is what I’ve wanted.”

You shiver under John and let out another loud moan as you both come together and John groans, still thrusting hard. Your legs shake from clenching them so hard and you put your hands above your head as John continues spilling into you.

John finally rolls off, laying next to you and catching his breath. You stare up at the ceiling for a minute, ashamed that you’ve just had sex on the storage room floor. You grab the first book you feel and tap it against your head lightly.

“What are you doing?” John asks, laughing.

“I can’t believe we just had sex on the floor of my work.” you sit up straight and John pulls you back down, cradling you in his arms. “I don’t know who you’ve turned me into.”

“Me?” he pretends to be offended and laughs.

“Yeah, well, before I met you I would’ve never done this. Never would have sent sexy pictures, wore lingerie, let someone eat me out in  _a dressing room_ _!_ _”_

“You wore lingerie before you met me.” he laughs.

You look at him, furrowing your brow, “Actually, no I didn’t. I bought stuff after I met you, and then when I realized how much you liked it, I started buying more.”

“So you bought all that stuff just for me?”

“Just for you.” you say and wink, “The first time I ever wore lingerie for you was literally the first time I had ever wore any, and I was  _terrified._ ”

“You looked so fucking good, I still remember it like it was yesterday.”

You start to wonder what him and Helen were like, and you swallow hard as you look at John. He closes his eyes and sighs contently, a smile spreading across his face.

“Did you and Helen ever do this kind of stuff?” you ask and John’s eyes snap open, clearly shocked that you’re asking about Helen. “Sorry, totally not my business.”

“No, no, it’s okay.” he laughs and scoots closer to you. “Uh, no, we didn’t do anything like this.”

You tilt your head up to look at him and you nod, letting him know it’s okay to continue, “You can tell me.”

“It was like a few times a week and definitely nothing this…” he looks down at you and shakes his head, “I just mean we didn’t have sex in public places.”

“So, it was boring?” you laugh and immediately feel bad. “Sorry.”

“No, it wasn’t boring. It was…intimate and nice. We were just a lot different than you and I.”

“How so?” you ask, rubbing your finger lightly over his chest.

“There’s no way for me to say it without me somehow hurting your feelings and I  _really_  don’t want to do that.”

“It’s  _okay_.” you say, reassuringly.

“We were just so…different. I can’t even explain it. It was more like…we took our time, savoring it.” he says and swallows hard. You can tell he’s trying his hardest not to offend you and you smile at him. “We just…”

“No, I totally get it. Like…you two knew that she wasn’t going to be around forever, and so when you would make love, you took your time and made sure you both felt that…love, that connection. I totally get it.” you smile at John, and he lets out a big breath he’s been holding in. “That’s incredibly romantic, John. She was a very lucky woman.”

John’s eyes soften and he smiles at you, then he leans over to kiss the top of your head. “ _I’ve_  been very lucky. Not only did I get her, but I got you too.”

“I…I don’t really know what to say back to that.” you laugh.

“Now when it comes to you, I just can’t help it. I can’t keep my hands to myself. I just have to have you constantly, as much as possible. I really have  _never_ wanted someone as much as I want you. Every time with you is so different and it’s so…fun.”

“So what you’re saying is I’m more a piece of meat to you, just something for you to fuck?”

“See, I knew you were gonna do this.” John laughs and leans down to kiss your forehead. “You know that’s not true at all. And _I_ know you’re just messing with me.”

“Of course.” you start to laugh and snuggle closer to John, breathing in his scent. “It probably has something to do with my age.”

“Probably?” he laughs, “ _Definitely_  it has to do with your age. I gotta keep up with you. You have so much energy.”

“As do you, Mr. Wick. Half the time it’s _you_  who initiates anything.”

He rests his head on one hand, and his other hand traces your nose to your forehead, over your cheek bone and down to the curve of your bottom lip. “This is  _really_  nice, by the way. What we have, what we do. It’s perfect. I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

His hand travels down your chest, past your stomach and stops when he gets in between your legs. He tilts his head a little, watching as you widen your legs and he slides two fingers back in, pumping them slowly. John hovers over you and presses his lips to yours gently, then he smiles and leans back in kiss you again.

Reaching back over to John, you begin stroking him again and he moans against your chest. The room is quiet except for the sound of John’s fingers sliding in and out, and the occasional moan slipping out of your mouths.

“I’ve never wanted someone as much as I want you, I hope you know that.” he says with his lips against yours, and he wraps his left arm around your shoulder, pulling you closer to him, “I’m insatiable when it comes to you.”

You pull away to look at him, and he smiles as you grip him tighter in your hand. He lets out another moan and leans up to kiss you as you stroke him faster, and you push him to lay back down.

Caught up in each other, you don’t hear the door open.

“Holy  _fuck!_  Oh, my god! I am so sorry.” Tess barely covers her eyes and doesn’t move, “ _Holy shit, John!_ ”

John’s eyes bulge, and his face has never been this shade of red in your entire relationship. Frantically, he sits up and grabs a book from the floor, trying to cover himself. It’s a small book, which only makes his cock look so much bigger than it already is.

_“_ _Tess,_ _shut the door!_ _”_  you yell, trying to hide your laugh as you search for your clothes.

“Sorry, oh, my God. I’ll just…” she starts to laugh and shuts the door, then turns back to you.

“I mean with you on the  _other_ side!” you squeal and look around for your underwear.

_“SORRY!”_  she laughs loudly and finally closes the door, giving you and John your privacy.

You look over at John and burst out laughing when you see how embarrassed he is. You quickly pull on your underwear and look over at John, he’s still frozen in place and you throw his pants at him. As you put your bra on, John stares at the ground and tries to get dressed as fast as possible.

“She saw everything.”

You start to laugh and look up at John as you fix your dress, “Yeah, well we grew up together, she’s already seen all this.”

“I meant  _me_.” he says and sits down in the chair to put his shoes back on. He’s shirtless and he leans back in the chair staring at you. “She saw… _all_  of me.”

“It’s okay, Jonathan! Just finish getting dressed, I’ll be right back.” you say as you pull on your boots.

You quickly close the door and see Tess still laughing. She bends over the table in shock and looks at you, “Are you kidding me?”

“Sorry, I thought when you said you weren’t feeling well that you weren’t going to show up.” you say, still fixing your dress.

“Are you  _fucking_  kidding me?” she starts to stand up and covers her mouth, still shocked. “He…”

“It was me, no, no, no…it was _my_ idea.” you shake your head.

“No, he is fucking  _huge_.”

“Tess!” you turn around to make sure the door is closed, but you know he can still hear you. “He can hear you.”

“No wonder you have trouble walking half the time, and no wonder you were screaming in the bathroom at my wedding, he’s massive!” she pats you on the shoulder and winks, “Congratulations.”

You rest your head on the table and laugh, “God, this is truly embarrassing as hell, and I wouldn’t say  _massive_.”

“It’s all good. We’ve definitely talked about worse things.” she says and gestures to the door. “Think I can go in?”

You nod as you push open the door a little and see that John is fully dressed again, putting books in boxes. He glances up at you and gives you a small smile.

“Oh wow, you guys organized a lot.” Tess says, rubbing a hand over her stomach. Her belly is much more visible since she’s wearing a tighter shirt and you catch John looking at it, a smiling beginning to form, but when Tess looks up, John turns his back. “How long have you two been here?”

You roll your eyes at Tess when you realize that’s not what she’s asking. She wants to know how long you’ve been laying on the floor. The two of you make eye contact again and she starts to laugh.

“I’m sorry, John.” she reaches out to touch his arm and he laughs a little. “But you’re  _literally_ an assassin and you didn’t hear me?”

“Guess I was distracted.” he says, turning around and sitting on the table.

Tess and John both look at you, and you wish you could crawl under a rock. You shuffle in place a little and fix your dress.

“Well, anyway.” you say, hoping to change the subject.

“You know, I really shouldn’t say this…”

“Then don’t.” you say, shaking your head.

Tess laughs and nudges you with her shoulder, “You got a hot body. Like, you could literally model or something.”

You hide your face in your hand and look at the floor, “Tess!”

“You do have a nice body though, mouse.” John agrees, and you almost fall over when you see him smiling wide.

“Jonathan! Oh, my god.”

“Mouse? Shut up, that’s so cute.” Tess looks at John, and his face turns bright red again. He quickly looks down at his hands and starts fidgeting with his watch.

“Tess, don’t you dare!” you point at her, stomping your foot.

“John, you have a really cute ass.” she laughs and leans on the table next to him.

“Uh,” he laughs a little and looks up at you, “Thanks.”

She taps his leg and points to his crotch. “Also,  _wow_.”

“Tess! Are you serious right now?” you start to laugh as you walk over to John, reaching out for each other and he instantly buries his face in the crook of your neck. “Stop embarrassing him. He doesn’t understand how close you and I are.”

“Oh, it’s all in good fun.” she laughs and turns back around to look at the books. “I really think you’ve organized everything already. I mean there’s still a few books, but we can make Grace do it.”

“Yeah, payback for her behavior yesterday.”

You pull back to look at John and his cheeks have seemed to cool down, and you smile and lean forward to kiss him. He pulls you closer and his hands are on your back, quickly sliding down to your ass.

“Really? Again?” Tess laughs, “Damn, John. You just can’t get enough, can you?”

“I really can’t.” he says, pressing his lips to your neck, then he makes a loud chomping noise and tickles you.

You squirm away from him and cup his face, _“Who are you?”_

Tess hops on the table next to John and bumps his shoulder to get his attention, “Well anyway, I think you’ve gotten everything pretty organized. We’ll have to just put the boxes in my car and I can take them into the city sometime this week.”

__

John insisted on putting the boxes in Tess’ car with no help from either of you, and the two of you happily watch him. You bite your lip a little every time he bends over, and Tess nudges you. John catches you watching him, and he flexes his arms even more when he picks up the last box.

“He’s so hot.” she whispers.

“I heard that.” John says, laughing and closes Tess’ trunk.

“Sure, you heard  _that_ _,_  but you didn’t hear me walking in the door.”

“Again, I was _very_ distracted. Can you blame me?” he says, pointing at you as he stands behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist.

Tess’ phone rings and she rolls her eyes as she looks at it, “Jimmy again. I told him I wasn’t feeling good and that I had an appointment this afternoon, and now he won’t stop calling me. He’s at home, so I’m gonna head out.”

You tilt your head back to look at John and smile, “Should we go? Maybe we can get something to eat?”

“I’ll pull the car around.” he says and lets go of you to hug Tess.

“I’ll see you later,  _big guy_.” she winks at John, then reaches out to hug you.

“Bye, Tess.” John starts to blush, quickly turns around and heads for the car.

“Uh, Tess, I need to talk to you about something.” you say and begin picking at your nails.

“Okay, so you’re nervous, what’s up?” she laughs, pointing at your hands.

You hear John’s car start and you quickly look over your shoulder to make sure he isn’t coming yet. You feel your stomach turn over and you press a hand to it to keep yourself from throwing up.

“Um,” your hands start to shake and you brush your hair out of your face, “I think I might be pregnant.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i've never linked it but i have a masterlist that includes all chapters (which of course you can find here on ao3) but it also has instagram edits, playlists, and even HMH as vines. So you'd like to see that it's right [here!](https://johnsbleu.tumblr.com/masterlist)


	53. Chapter 53

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **warnings:** none

You lay in bed longer than usual, clutching your phone in your hand and waiting for Tess to respond. You had texted her, inviting Jimmy and her over. There’s some sports game on TV that John and Jimmy are going to watch, which is perfect since you also asked Tess to bring over a pregnancy test for you to take and you need John to be distracted.

John knows everything there is to know about you. He knows when you’re lying, he knows what you’re thinking before you even do. So sneaking behind his back to take a pregnancy test will be hard, but hopefully if you keep the act up that nothing is wrong, he won’t suspect anything. You’ve been doing great so far.

John is in the bathroom and when you hear the shower turn off, you finally decide to get up. Looking out the window, you frown when you see it’s too gloomy for shorts. You pull on some leggings and walk over to the closet for a shirt, and as you turn around, you hit your knee hard on the corner of the wall.

“Fuck!” you yell, stumbling back to the bed with your knee pulled close to your chest. “Fuck, fuck, fuck!”

“What? Are you okay?” John comes running out of the bathroom, wrapping a towel around his waist.

You suck in a breath between your teeth and nod, “Yeah, fine.”

“What did you do?” John says, kneeling in front of you.

“I hit my knee on the wall, like  _really_  hard.” you frown and press a kiss to your own knee, and John laughs. You shove your knee in his face and he presses several kisses to it. “Ah, feels better already.”

“Glad I could help.” he says, and you limp into the bathroom to brush your teeth. “So when are Tess and Jimmy coming over?”

You peek around the corner with your toothbrush in your mouth and see John putting on his boxers, and you smile when you see his cute little butt. He turns around and smiles sheepishly when he sees you looking.

“Tess was right yesterday. You  _do_  have a cute butt.”

“Stop.” John starts to laugh and changes the subject, “Jimmy and Tess, when are they coming over?”

You shrug and continue brushing your teeth, “I don’t know. I texted her, but she hasn’t texted me back yet.” you walk back out and you’re surprised by how fast he’s gotten dressed.

He’s wearing royal blue t-shirt that makes his eyes look so beautiful and warm, and he has on his favorite pair of jeans that fit perfectly. He’s obviously just trimmed his beard, and the thought of it makes your thighs tingle. He sits down on the bed and you watch as he pushes his wet thick hair out of his face. He looks so domestic and cuddly today.  _He looks like husband material. He looks like a dad._

“Jonathan Wick, have I told you lately how  _incredibly_ handsome you are?” you say, standing in front of him and he holds your legs tight in both hands.

“Probably, but you can tell me again.” he laughs.

“Well, you are the most handsome man I have  _ever_  seen in my life,” you lean down, brushing your lips to his, “And I couldn’t be more in love with you.”

You crawl on top of him and bite at his bottom lip, bringing it into your mouth to suck on it and he rolls on top of you. His lips envelopes yours and he moans in your mouth. His hair is still dripping wet and you run your fingers through it to push it out of his face.

“You’re getting me wet.”

John pulls back as a grin spreads across his face, “That’s a habit of mine, isn’t it?”

You shove him off of you, laughing, “ _You know what I mean_ _!_ ”

John stands up and you follow him into the bathroom as he dries his hair with a towel and brushes it. You watch as he carefully places toothpaste on his toothbrush, and he looks over at you. Your eyes dart around the room and you laugh, trying to not look suspicious.

“What are you doing?” he laughs and starts brushing his teeth.

You shrug and laugh, “You fascinate me, so I’m just watching you.”

“I fascinate you?” he says, words jumbled from his toothbrush in his mouth. He leans over to spit and he uses the back of his hand to wipe off the toothpaste on his chin. “How?”

“I hit my knee on the wall and thought I was going to die.” you laugh, still watching John as he finishes brushing his teeth.

“Yeah, well…” he wipes his mouth off with a towel and looks at your through the mirror, “You’re dramatic.”

“Oh, and  _you’re_  not?” you quip.

John scoffs and shrugs, “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Anyway, you get…” you wince thinking about it and frown, “Stabbed and shot, and you come home like it’s nothing. How do you do that?”

“Lots of practice, I guess.” he shrugs, and you frown even more.

“Hmm, don’t like that.” you say, exiting the bathroom, and John wraps his arms around you tight, holding you in place.

“You don’t like to think about me getting hurt?” he asks, and his breath smells like mint.

“That is the dumbest question you’ve  _ever_  asked me,” you spin around and hug him. “Of course I don’t.”

“Well, I haven’t been hurt in awhile.” he says, smiling proudly.

“Yeah,” you sigh, nodding your head. “I think maybe it’s time I get a car, so you can go back to work. I’ve enjoyed all this extra time together, and I’ve enjoyed driving your car and you driving me to work, but…”

“I don’t have to go back to work.”

“I know you’ve been refusing jobs, I’ve heard the phone ringing downstairs.” you move out of his arms to sit on the bed and he sits next to you. “And I know you want to go back to work.”

John looks over at you and shrugs, “I can take the job that I’ve been offered, but I don’t want to. I like being here with you, I like our life. A civilian life. This is what I wanted. This is what I  _want_.”

“A  _civilian_  life.”

He nods and reaches for your hand, “I want this life. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t be here with you. I  _want_  to be with you, I want to have a nice relaxed life. I’m not very young, you know?”

“Well, you’re not  _old_.” you laugh and rest your head on John’s shoulder.

“I don’t think you’ll ever realize how hard I fought to have this life.” he says, and you look up at him. “I fought like hell to have  _this_  life. I fought like hell to have you, even though at the time, I didn’t know it was for you.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean…” he takes a deep breath and exhales, “I fought so hard to just come home, I just wanted to come home. I did things you wouldn’t even believe to get to where I am now. All I wanted to do was come back and…”

“Come back and what, John?” you scoot closer to him and squeeze his hand.

“I had the idea that I would come back to my life, I would just…remember Helen and that was it. After some time, I realized it wasn’t much of a life. I could still remember her, but I needed to move on. She wanted me to move on. If she knew that I was moping around the house after everything, she would have been pissed. I needed to move on, not just for her, but for me as well. I  _wanted_  to move on.”

“I get that.” you nod, still holding John’s gaze. “Was it worth it? Everything you went through to get here?”

“I would say that it was.” John says, nodding.

You look away from John and play with your bracelet nervously, “Was I? Was I worth it?”

“Oh, absolutely.” he leans forward to meet your gaze and he smiles wide, “If I had to, I would do it all over again just to be with you.”

“I love you.” you laugh tearfully and lean over to kiss John several times, “Anyway, that job, I still think you should take it.”

“You think so?”

“Yeah,” you stand up and walk over to the mirror, making sure you look presentable. “I think you should take it. Gotta keep up appearances, right?”

“Well, no…”

“Oh, right,” you look at John through the mirror as you smile, “You’re  _John Wick_.”

“ _Anyway_ , it’d be an easy job, quick in and out.” he says, wrapping an arm around your waist. “I love you, beautiful.”

“I love you, too.” you say, then hold your breath when John’s hand lingers on your stomach for a moment.

Resting your head against his shoulder, you tilt your head up to kiss John, and he opens his mouth to taste your tongue, so you slip it into his mouth as he moans quietly. His lips on yours become unrelenting and his hands begin caressing your hips. He slides his hand to the waistband of your leggings and you start to laugh against his lips.

“John,” you warn, “Not now.”

“Damn!” he snaps his fingers as he backs away and reaches back out to playfully slap your ass. “I should take Bleu for a walk anyway.”

You skip down the stairs and see Bleu waiting patiently near the front door. When he sees you, he quickly runs over to greet you. You’ll never get over how much Bleu loves you and how much he loves John. They really are your boys, and you can’t imagine not waking up to see Bleu at your feet and John laying next to you.

“Mommy loves you  _so_  much,” you say as John kneels down next to you and scratches Bleu on his head. “Say it.”

“Say what?”

“Tell him you love him.” you sit cross-legged on the floor and John scoots behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist.

“Bleu,” he says, tilting his head back as Bleu tries to lick his face. “I love you.”

“No, you know what I mean. Say ‘daddy’, do it, John.”

John looks at you quickly when he hears you say  _that_ word, and he starts to blush, leaning over to kiss you, but you back away. You raise your eyebrow and nod towards Bleu.

“Bleu, daddy loves you.”

You cover your mouth with your hand as a smiles spreads across your face, “That is so fucking cute.”

Bleu pounces to get John to play and you flop onto the floor, crawling with him and getting him riled up. He barks at you and when you look over your shoulder, you see John staring at your ass.

“Hey, Wick. My eyes are up here.” you say and wiggle your ass in John’s face.

You both start to laugh, and you roll over onto your back as John crawls on top of you. He starts to tickle you, making you squeal and squirm under him. Bleu moves between you and John, plopping down on your chest and he barks softly at John.

“Oh, my god!” you laugh and reach up to pet Bleu, “He’s protecting me.”

“Hey!” John playfully yells at Bleu and tries to pull him off of you, “She’s mine.”

“Boys, no fighting.” you laugh, finally shoving Bleu off of you and replacing him with John. “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” he says, groaning as he stands back up and reaches out for your hands to help you up. He looks at Bleu, who is sitting perfectly still staring at him. “You wanna go for a walk, boy?”

Bleu runs to the front door, whimpering and hopping in place when he sees John still standing next to you.

“Just leave me here alone, it’s okay. I’ll just… _suffer._ ” you drape yourself dramatically over the couch, whining, “Just gonna die without you here.”

“Oh, the drama.”

You laugh, “Well, you did say I was dramatic.”

“I figured because it’s cold and rainy that you wouldn’t want to come with.” he brushes his thumb against your cheek and smiles, “I don’t want you getting sick either. It’s pretty cold out, but if you want to come with, then come with us.”

You consider it for a minute until you see the sky; gray and drizzly. You shake your head and wrap your arms around John’s waist from behind as he starts walking to the door and your socks slide on the wooden floors, pulling you with him.

“Tess and Jimmy will probably be here soon anyway, so I should get all the lunch stuff set out. Plus, Tess is bringing over her baby book stuff, so I’m gonna help her with that while you Jimmy watch…”

“A baseball game.” he says, hooking Bleu’s leash to his collar.

“Baseball, that’s interesting.”

“I’ll be back in a bit.” he wraps his arms tight around you and presses a kiss to the top of your head.

You watch John walk down the driveway, and you hate how much you’re missing him already. You grab your coat from the closet and quickly put it on, then pull on your rain boots. You grab the umbrella from the holder near the door, then run down the driveway.

“Wait!” you yell, running down the driveway, “Wait for me!”

John turns around and smiles, “I knew you’d come with.”

You wrap your arms around his bicep and smile, “I just can’t stay away from you.”

__

John and Jimmy have made themselves sandwiches and are already planted in front of the TV. John doesn’t strike you as the type to be into sports and he’s admitted that he’s not, but you know he just likes to spend time with Jimmy. It warms your heart to know John has best friend.

Leaning over the back of the couch, you wrap your arms around John and whisper in his ear, “Have fun, baby.”

His mouth is full of food, but he tilts his head back to kiss you anyway. You back away, making sure John doesn’t suspect anything and quickly walk over to Tess in the kitchen.

“Did you bring it?”

“Nope, totally forgot.” she says sarcastically as she pulls out the pregnancy test from her purse. “Yes, of course I brought it. You texted me like…12 times.”

“Well,” you shrug, “I didn’t want you to forget it.”

Tess leans back against the counter and scrunches her eyebrows, “I’m confused, so do you think you’re pregnant because your period is late, or because the sex was so good that you  _thought_  he got you pregnant?”

You give Tess a blank stare, then roll your eyes, “How dumb do you think I am?”

Tess laughs loudly and shrugs, “Well, I don’t know.”

“Should I take it now?” you ask, looking at it. “I don’t know how this stuff works.”

“Yes!” Tess yells, and you put your hand over her mouth.

“Shut up!”

“Sorry.” she whispers. “Go take it. I’ll come with. Guard the door.”

“Because that won’t be obvious.” you say, tucking the test in the sleeve of your sweater and walking out of the kitchen.

John sees you from the corner of his eye and looks over as you walk through the living room. You wave and give him a sweet smile, praying he has no idea what you’re up to. Locking yourself in the bathroom, you stare at yourself in the mirror, and your hands slide over your stomach as you lift your shirt, staring at it.

_There could be a baby in there…right now, right this minute._

You shake your head and sit on the toilet, carefully sticking the test between your legs and quickly relieving yourself. You place the test on a piece of toilet paper on the counter and hear Tess knocking persistently on the door, so you let her in.

“What do I do now?” you ask, and your voice shakes.

“Wait. We just wait.”

You close the toilet seat and gesture for Tess to sit down. The two of you stare at each other for a moment and she laughs, rubbing her belly. “We could be like our moms. Best friends with kids.”

“We could.” you nod and sit on the floor. “I just…”

“You don’t want a baby? I mean, I know you said you’re happy either way, but I always thought you wanted kids…”

“Yeah, we’ve had a…vague conversation several times now. He knows how…hesitant I am because of my dad, and he was so understanding when I told him all about my dad. I mean, I’ve always wanted kids, you know that, but…” you take a deep breath and sigh, “I just don’t want to ruin his entire life if I am. He’d probably try to quit his job, and then we’d have to change one of  _his_  rooms into a nursery.”

“You don’t even know if you’re pregnant yet, calm down. John loves you. He already tried to change one of his rooms into an office for you. You don’t need an office, but John was going to make one for you anyway.” she laughs and shakes her head, “He obviously doesn’t care about that stuff. If he did, your stuff wouldn’t be every where. Smelly soaps, candles, and your hair ties, your shit is everywhere.”

You sigh and nod, resting your head against the wall, “Did he see you come in here?”

“Who? Mr. Assassin Man? No, I’m pretty good at sneaking around him.” she laughs.

“I am so sorry about that. I know we’re close, but John doesn’t realize  _how_  close we are. He doesn’t understand…sibling dynamics. Doesn’t understand that we share everything with each other.”

“I still cannot believe how… _big_  he is.” she says, holding her hands up to figure out how big he is. “You certainly didn’t share _that_  with me.”

“Please do not ask me how many inches he is.”

 _“_ _Do you know?”_  she laughs, raising her eyebrows. “Hold on, you’re a week late but you two still had sex yesterday?”

“Well, I mean, if I’m pregnant, then I’m pregnant. Having sex yesterday wouldn’t change that.”

“True.” she nods.

“But I wasn’t really thinking about that at the time. I had felt a little sick the other night when I got home from work, but just assumed I was a little nauseous since I hadn’t eaten since breakfast, and on top of it, I had a headache. Then John was just…telling me how much he missed me because we hadn’t really had time for ourselves this past week since I had been working so much.”

Tess reaches for your hand and frowns, “You should have told me, I would have taken over a shift or something for you. You’ve done that before for me.”  

You shake your head, “No, it’s okay. Anyway, we just started talking and I just got caught up, I guess.”

“Yeah, I’m sure your brain goes completely _blank_  when he whips that thing out.” she snorts loudly.

“Oh, god. This is the longest two minutes of my life.”

Tess looks at her watch and laughs, “Time’s almost up.”

You almost fall over from standing up so quickly and you look at Tess. “What does what mean again?”

“Two lines is yes, one line is no.”

You pick up the test in your hand and close your eyes, handing it to Tess. “What does it say?”

“Um…” she takes it from you and starts laughing.

_Positive, it’s positive. You’re pregnant. John is going to die. No, calm down. Take a deep breath._

“Tess!” you yell, and you know John has heard you. “What does it say?”

She turns it around and frowns, “Negative.”

You sigh and take the test from Tess, “Are you sure?”

“Yeah, honey. I’m sure.” she gives you a weak smile and rubs your shoulder, “You’re not pregnant.”

You didn’t expect to feel this sad, but you have to admit, you’re also pretty relieved. You feel the tears warm on your cheek and you close your eyes, tilting your head back. Tess quickly gets up and hugs you, patting your back and rocking you.

“I know it sucks.” she whispers as you start to cry. “I’ve been there. Before I found out I was pregnant, I had a scare. It was back when Jimmy and I had just started dating, and I didn’t know what to do, I didn’t know how he’d would have reacted.”

“What?” you lean back and look at Tess. “You never told me this.”

“I know, I’m sorry.” she says and tears up a little, “Jimmy and I had gone on…maybe two actual dates. It was literally like a month after I met him. Everything with John was happening with you, and I just didn’t want anyone to be stressed out, so I just kept it to myself. I sat in the bathroom and cried for two hours straight when the test came back negative. I just turned on the shower and sobbed on the floor. Jimmy had no idea. He still has no idea.”

“Do you think I need to tell John?” you ask and turn to the mirror, wiping away the tears from your face.

“Honestly, that’s up to you.” she says with complete sincerity. “I can’t tell you what to do.”

“Since when?” you laugh.

She looks up at you, gasping and pretending to be offended. Her stomach grumbles and you both laugh. “Well, you might not have a baby in your stomach, but I do and they are hungry.” she looks down at her belly and laughs. “Okay, okay. Mommy is gonna feed you right now.”

John looks at you carefully when you walk back into the living room, and you pray like hell that he has no idea what you were doing. You plop down on the couch next to him and reach for his hand, intertwining your fingers with his and look up at him.

“Are you okay?” he asks, quietly.

“Yeah, why?” you snuggle into his side.

“I just heard you and Tess in the bathroom…yelling or something.”

You laugh and shake your head, “Oh, it was nothing. Tess was just talking about yesterday again.”

“Oh.” he smiles and lets go of your hand to wrap his arm around your shoulder.

Tess takes a big bite out of her sandwich as she sits down in the chair across from you, “Oh! We decided on some names.”

“Tell me.”

“Well…” Tess pulls out the book the two of you had put together when you were little and hands it to you. “I wrote down a shit ton of names, and now that I have to name my child, I’m realizing how many of these names I actually hate.”

You open the book and see Tess’ baby name page filled with names. You flip to the next page and sees yours, only several are written down. John sits up a little and leans over to look at the book with you.

“Charles?” John asks, looking at you.

You laugh, “Yeah, imagine a chubby little boy named Charlie. Cutest shit.”

“You always had good names picked out, and Wick is a great last name, so anything will sound good with it.” Tess says, and you glare at her as she struggles to change the subject. “Isn’t…uh, isn’t your middle name Charles?”

“It is.” John nods, still looking at the book.

“Anyway, back to me. I still love the name Juniper, oh, and also Hazel. And of course, Skylar is still one of my favorites. Okay, so maybe I had more names than I thought.” Tess says, smiling wide, but it slowly fades, “Uh, but since she’s not here, I thought Claire would be cute.”

“I think it would be perfect.” you reach out to hold Tess’ hand and she starts to cry a little harder. “Your mom would be very happy and  _very_  proud of you.”

Tess covers her face as she cries, then fans herself, “Okay, that’s enough. That’s all we decided for girl names. I hate every other name in here. I love the name James, so we’re going to use that for the middle name if this little goob is a boy.”

“What about the first?” you ask and smile wide.

Tess looks at Jimmy and they smile at each other, “Finn.”

“I knew it.” you laugh. “You  _always_  loved that name. Finn James Hendricks, I love that. Can’t wait to call him Finny James.”

“God, please don’t.”

You lean across the table, talking to Tess’ belly. “Auntie can’t wait meet you, Finny James.”

“I don’t know, Tess. I kinda like it.” Jimmy laughs.

“Oh, uh, also, I have all these pages in the baby book for shit about my parents…first date, their reaction to the news that she was pregnant, my first word.”

“You should call my mom, she can help with all that stuff. She probably has your baby book somewhere in the basement.” you say, looking through the book. “I’m sure she’d love to help too, she’d feel like she’s being included.”

“Yeah, we were on the phone the other night talking about what the baby is going to call her. She’s settled on Grandma. She said granny and grandmother are too old.”

“Yeah, because mom is so young. She’s gonna love being a grandma though. She had a baby book for me, but she stopped writing in it when I was around six. Guess she got too busy.” you look up at Tess and frown, “I didn’t mean it like that.”

Tess laughs, “You’re not offending me, you always think you’re offending people.”

“You really do.” John chimes in and you turn to him.

“Why do you two always team up on me?”

Jimmy leans back on the couch and nudges your shoulder, “You do though.”

“Oh, all three of you now. I need new friends.” you joke.

“Well,  _I_  need a nap.” Tess scoots in between you and Jimmy on the couch, resting her head against his shoulder and stretching her legs across his lap. She looks up at him and smiles as she leans in to kiss him. He presses a kiss to her forehead and she closes her eyes, falling asleep.

“We need a bigger couch,” you whisper to John, and he gives you a tight lipped smile. “I’m not bothering you, am I?”

“Why would you think that?”

You hold John’s gaze for a moment, and it’s almost like you can see the wheels turning in his head. John is a smart man, a  _very_ smart man, and he’s figuring out that you’re hiding something. Then again, you’re terrible at lying about anything.

“Oh, uh…” you shrug, “I don’t know, I guess because you’re having a dude’s day and you’re watching your game.”

John shrugs and pulls you into his lap, “I don’t mind.”

__

Jimmy yelling startles you and open your eyes fast. He quickly reaches out to pat your leg and apologizes. “Sorry, I just got excited. We won.”

“You’re okay.” John starts to laugh and rubs your cheek. He pushes your head back down on his chest and rubs his beard against your forehead. “Go back to sleep.”

Tess sits up straight and stretches her arms out in front of her. “We should go, we’re still packing up the apartment, we’re almost done! Also Jimmy’s mom bought us a bunch of baby shit, I guess, so we have to go over and get it.”

Jimmy turns to Tess, looking at her confused. “She did?”

“ _Yes, J_ _ames_. She called me about it last night, and I told you that.” Tess looks over at you and rolls her eyes, “Never listens.”

You climb out of John’s lap and stretch, “I’m sorry, I didn’t even help you with your book.”

“It’s okay,” she hugs you, then turns to hug John. “Maybe I’ll come over this week and we can work on it.”

“Sounds like a plan.”

__

Heading into the bathroom, you see the pregnancy test on the counter and nearly faint, “Fuck!”

 _You forgot to get rid of it when you found out it was negative, you idiot._ You wrap it in toilet paper and throw it in the garbage quickly, and you turn around to see John looking at you.

“What?”

You stick your tongue out a little and sigh, “Bit my tongue.”

“Sure.” he nods and walks past to his office.

_He knows you’re lying_ _. Y_ _ou really need to learn to lie better…or maybe_ _you need to stop lying to him._

You lean against the door of his office and stare at him for a minute. He’s clicking away on his laptop, and he looks up at you for a moment before resting his head on his fist, looking back to the screen. You sigh and shuffle in place, hoping to gain his attention, and you huff when he doesn’t look up again.

“What are you doing?” he asks, still looking at the screen.

“What are  _you_ doing?”

“Researching some stuff.” He still doesn’t look up, and you start to pout as you inch your way closer to him. You stand in front of his desk and he finally looks up at you.

“Stuff about Rome?” you ask and smile.

He shakes his head and looks back at the computer, “No.”

“Oh. Um, can I be in here? I mean…” you bend over his desk and rest your head on your hands, “Is it okay?”

“Yeah,” he holds your gaze for a moment, “But I’m just looking up some stuff.”

“That’s never stopped me before. I can just keep you company!” you say and stand up straight, smiling at John.

He sighs and looks back at the computer screen. He wants you to leave, he’d never say it, but you can see it on his face.  _Maybe he just wants to be left alone._

“Never mind, my stomach…it’s, you know, it kind of hurts actually. I’m just gonna go lay down.” you say, and John opens his mouth to say something, but you turn before he can.

Bleu follows behind you to the bedroom and plops down on the bed as you quickly change into your pajamas; your favorite silk and lace nightie that you know John loves. You lotion up your legs and change positions several times, hoping John will come up sooner rather than later. After ten minutes, you flop back on the bed and groan loudly.

“Get down here!” John yells from the living room, and you sit up straight.

You look at Bleu and laugh, “I guess he heard me.”

 _“_ _Now!”_  he yells again, and you almost jump when his voice sounds so angered. You hop up from the bed and grab your robe, tying it around your waist when John yells again.

“Calm down, I’m coming.” you say as you trot down the stairs. You freeze in place on the steps when you see John looking at the pregnancy test in his hand. “Oh.”

“That’s all you have to say?” he stares at you and holds up the test in his hand. “You wanna explain this?”

Crossing your arms across your chest, you shuffle in place a little, “I…”

“You were just going to hide this from me?” his voice is rough and aggravated.

“You’re digging through my trash now?” you ask, walking closer to John.

“This is  _my_  house.”

“Really, John?” you start to laugh in disbelief and shake your head, “I know you, and I  _know_  you don’t feel that way. Don’t throw that in my face just because you’re hurt. I get that you’re upset at me and I get that I hurt your feelings, but hurting mine in return isn’t going to make  _you_  feel any better.”

John’s eyes grow sad instantly and his gaze is slowly falling towards the floor, and you can tell he regrets what he’s said. He’d never intentionally hurt your feelings, but he’s just mad and he’s not thinking straight.

“I am…so mad right now.” he says quietly, and he looks back down at the test, sighing and tossing it on the table. You both watch as it bounces a few times before sliding off the table and onto the floor. “You were just going to hide this from me rather than telling me?”

You shuffle in place a little and shrug, looking at the ground to avoid eye contact with John. Finally looking up at him, he shakes his head and sighs loudly, and you swear he’s on the verge of tears.

“I’ve never been this disappointed.” he mutters, and you feel like your heart is being ripped right out of your chest. “I should have known. I should have  _known_ this would happen.”

“John…” you take a few steps towards him and he backs away, then he looks at you and shakes his head.

He’s mad and he’s got every right to be. If the roles were reversed, you probably would be too. You should have just told him, but the damage is done. You hid it from him, and now you have to deal with the consequences. You know you’ll be able to work it out if he gives you the time to talk it out, but right now he’s getting quiet, which is ten times worse than him screaming.

“Be honest, were you going to tell me?”

You sigh and shake your head as you sit on the arm of the couch, “Honestly, no. I probably wasn’t.”

He takes a big breath filling his chest with air, and you prepare yourself for him to scream, but instead he turns around quickly and heads for the door.

“Where are you going?” you follow behind him, trying to grab his arm. “John…”

“Out.”

“What do you mean? Can we talk about this? Stay here, John. Stay here and talk to me,  _please._ ” you say, practically begging.  

He puts on his coat and stares at you as he pulls his keys out of the bowl near the door. His face is anger, but it’s also so sad. So fucking sad.

“I didn’t mean to hurt you, John.”

John shakes his head and scoffs, “What did you  _mean_  to do then?”

You feel your eyes starting to burn, and your vision is blurred as you begin to cry. He looks at you a moment longer, and you wipe your eyes to see him better.

“Can you at least let me  _explain_  myself? You’re not even giving me a chance.”

John opens the door and turns to look at you, “How are you going to explain this?”

“I…” you start to talk and John shakes his head. “So you’re just going to leave and not tell me where you’re going?”

“Guess we’re both hiding things from each other now.” he says, then he slams the door shut behind him.


	54. Chapter 54

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **warnings:** none

It’s been seven hours since John stormed out. Seven hours since you last talked to him. Seven hours since you potentially ruined the best thing that’s happened to you; your entire relationship with John.

You’re sitting on the couch with Bleu and you reach over for your phone, checking it again for any missed calls. Your phone has been beside you the whole time and it hasn’t beeped once, but you check it anyway. You’ve called John several times, hanging up before the beep, but you can’t help calling just to hear his voice.

_No missed calls. No new texts._

You sigh as you put your phone back on the table and finally notice the pregnancy test on the floor from where John had thrown it. You sigh again and reach down to pick it up. You hold it in your hand and look at it, then toss it back to the table.

“Bleu, your mom is very dumb.” you say, and Bleu looks up at you at the sound of his name. “Maybe I should call him and leave a message.”

You pick up your phone and call John, and with every ring, you feel the lump in your throat growing bigger and bigger. It finally stops ringing and goes to voicemail, and you close your eyes when you hear John’s voice.

_“This is John, leave a message.”_

“Hi, it’s me…obviously. You know that. It says my name in your phone, and I showed you how to put that little peach emoji next to my name. And my contact picture is me from the day we went to that really shitty cafe. They completely ruined my order, and your coffee was cold. But we both agreed it was still a great day. Sorry, I’m rambling. Um, I’m not entirely sure why I called. I mean…I do know why, I just…I want to make sure you’re okay. You don’t have to call me back, but maybe you can just text me.”

You put the phone down when you start to get choked up, and you press your hand to it so John doesn’t hear you.

“You’re so fucking stupid.” you say to yourself, quietly. Even though he’s pissed at you, he’d be even more pissed if he heard the way you were talking to yourself.

You put the phone back up to your ear and your voice starts to break, “Um, yeah, so just maybe…let me know somehow that you’re alright. I love you, John, I really do. Bye.”

Bleu follows you into the kitchen as you raid the fridge for something to eat. You pull out a few slices of turkey and sit at the table, staring at them. You know you’re hungry, and you know you  _should_  eat, but you’re too upset.

“It’s almost midnight and he’s still not home.” you look down at the turkey on the table, then back to Bleu. “Sit.”

Bleu listens and wags his tail, waiting for his treat. You pull off a small piece and lean over to give to Bleu. He carefully takes the turkey from your hand and runs into the living room to eat it in peace.

Without thinking, you grab your phone and call Jimmy. His phone rings several times and goes to the voicemail.

“Hey, Jimmy. It’s me, um…I don’t know if you’ve talked to John or anything, but we got into a bit of an argument and I was just wondering if you’ve seen or heard from him. He hasn’t returned any of my calls or texts…” you put your hand over your mouth as you start to cry and you exhale. “Sorry to bother you, I’m just worried about him, he’s been gone for hours. If you hear from him, let me know. Thank you.”

You hang up quickly and put your head down on the table as you sob. You could have called Tess, but with her being pregnant, you didn’t want to add any stress to her. And knowing Tess, she’d probably go off on John and make everything worse. The girl would die defending you, no matter what.

You’ve tired yourself out from crying for hours on end, so you drag yourself to your room and flop down on the bed. You look over at John’s spot and touch his pillow, it’s cold and you grab it, bringing it to your nose and inhaling his scent.

“God, I miss him so much.” you say out loud, unsure of who you’re talking to. You crawl under the covers and instead of sleeping your spot, you decide to sleep in John’s instead. If he comes home in the night, you know he won’t mind.

You grab your phone again and call John, “Hi…it’s me,  _again_. Sorry, this is the last time I’ll call you. You haven’t answered any of my calls, so I should probably just take the hint, huh?”

You clear your throat, trying to rid the lump, and you whimper a little and wipe away the tears on your face.

“Uh, I just wanted to call and say that I love you. I know you’re mad at me. More than mad, I’m sure. You probably hate me right now, and I don’t blame you. I just want you to know that I love you…more than anything.” you start to cry harder and you cover your mouth, hoping he can’t hear it. “John, just… _please_ come home.”

__

Laying in bed with Bleu, you flop around and yawn. You didn’t get any sleep last night and as far as you know, John still never came home. The bed was cold and empty, but not like when he’s away working. When he’s away for work, you know it’s not because he doesn’t want to be with you, it’s because he has a job to do.

You sit up a little to grab your phone off the side table and see you have a text, “Oh, my god.”

**_Hey, Bernard wants us to come in and meet a potential buyer. I’m so sick of this._ ** ****

You slouch dramatically after reading the text from Tess. You were at least hoping John would text you to let you know know he was safe. You look over at Bleu, and he lays his head in your lap.

“You haven’t left my side all night.” you get up from the bed, and Bleu follows you into the bathroom as you start the shower. You hop in and shower as fast as you can since you know you’re going to take your time doing your hair and makeup.

__

As you finish the last touches on your makeup, you see Bleu run out of the bathroom and realize John must be home. You peek around the corner to see him making the bed, still in the same clothes from the day before.

He looks at your side of the bed and nods his head slowly, almost like he’s imagining you laying there. You watch him for a moment longer, and he reaches into the dresser for a clean change of clothes and before you know it, he’s gone again.

“I get it, he’s mad at me. I shouldn’t have hid that from him, but to be fair, he didn’t even give me a chance to tell him.” you sigh and put the curling iron down. “I did throw it away though. Fuck, why am I such an idiot?”

Walking to your closet, you shuffle through your dresses and choose one that you know is a little too tight for a meeting, but you also know it’ll catch John’s attention – and that’s all you really care about right now. You start to smile a little when you see how good your ass looks in it and you know that with heels, it’ll look even better.

“Shit!” you pull out your phone and quickly call Tess. “Hey, can you pick me up?”

“Yeah, I was just about to leave. Uh, what are you wearing?”

“A dress.”

Tess sighs and laughs, “Oh, thank God, me too. I’m leaving right now. I’ll be there in five minutes.”

You toss your phone in your purse and dig through the closet for some shoes. “Where are they? The black strappy ones, I know they’re in here.” you say to yourself and throw your suitcase on the bed, then continue digging through your closet, “A-ha! Found them.”

Your heels clack on the floor as you walk into the kitchen, and you see John sitting at the kitchen reading the paper like usual. You don’t know how long this meeting will last, but you want to at least have a snack because Tess will get hungry since she’s eating for two and she usually forgets to pack anything for herself.

John is watching you closely as you make your way around the kitchen, filling up a bag with snacks and drinks for you and Tess. When you first see him, you feel complete joy that he’s home, then it turns to anger and you’re not entirely sure why. Usually you love the way John watches you, but today his close eye on you is aggravating and honestly, it’s a little annoying.

“What?!” you snap as you look over at him. “Why are you just watching me?”

_Damn, you’re madder than you thought. Calm down!_

He flinches, then shrugs, “I’m sorry, I just wanted–”

“You just wanted to what? Watch me and then maybe throw it in my face that this isn’t… _my kitchen._ Maybe hurt my feelings some more?”

“No!” John says and stands up, “No, I want to talk.”

“I don’t have time.” you continue packing your lunch and look up at John, “You really fucking hurt my feelings last night, John. You know that? I was already feeling like shit for what I did, then you threw the whole house thing in my face. And on top of it, you didn’t even bother to come home.”

“I–”

You put your hand up to stop him, “No, you don’t get to talk today. You interrupted me every time I tried to talk last night.”

You’re being way too harsh on John, and maybe it’s because you’re so mad at yourself that you’re trying to take it out on him.

You can see John’s heart breaking as you start to cry, “You left me here last night, you didn’t even bother to call me and let me know that you were okay. You just…left. You made it  _very_ clear to me that you don’t think that much of me or our relationship.”

“That’s not true, and you know it.” he says, moving closer to you, “You know how I feel about you. If I didn’t care about you or our relationship, I wouldn’t have been that upset. I would have just–”

“You would have just walked out and not let me know where you were going?  _That’s what you did, John!”_

“Because I was mad! I was mad at you. And I could say the same thing about you. What you did, yeah, I could say that you made it clear too. But I won’t.” he says, reaching for your hand but you back away. “Can’t we talk about this? I’m ready to talk about this.”

“I’m not.” you say quietly, “I’ll apologize for how I just talked to you now though. I’m sorry. Hurting your feelings won’t make me feel better, and I know you know that as well. I’m mad at myself and I’m taking it out on you instead, so I’m sorry for that.”

“Peach…”

“No,” you shake your head and look down as you start to cry, “Please don’t. Don’t try to make me feel better.”

John wraps his arms around you and pulls you close to his chest as he kisses the top of your head. His arms are so big and warm, and you realize how much you missed him last night as you melt into his chest.

“I love you.” he whispers and presses a kiss to your forehead, cupping your face, “We need to talk about this though.”

“I know.” you nod, closing your eyes as John kisses your forehead again, “I’m not mad at you, well, I am a little mad, which we can talk about later. But I’m hurting your feelings because I’m mostly mad at myself and I want to apologize for that.”

“Thank you.” he nods and brushes his thumb against your cheek, “I’ll apologize for how I talked to you, too. I was out of line.”

“You weren’t.” you shake your head and cover his hands with yours to keep them on your face, “You weren’t out of line. I was.”

The emotions were running high last night, but right now you’re both crashing hard from the lack of sleep and from not being able to talk and see one another, which is only making the two of you sadder. John has dark circles under his eyes from getting no sleep, and you reach up and brush your hand against his cheek.

You hold John’s gaze for a moment longer and let out a small sigh, “You look so tired.”

John nods his head, giving you a weak smile, “I am, and I’m–”

A car horn honking startles the two of you and you close your eyes at the poor timing. You take a deep breath, then kiss the palm of John’s hand.

“That’s Tess. We’ll talk later?”

“Yeah,” John nods and reaches for your hand, “Can I walk you out?”

You nod pathetically and intertwine your fingers with John’s as you wipe away a tear with your other hand. Tess is waving at the both of you, but when she sees the tears on your face, she frowns a little.

“Hey, Tess.” John waves, then he walks you to the passenger side of the car. Before you get in, he grabs your waist and wraps his arms around you tight, keeping you in place. He gives you a small smile and hesitates a little as he leans in for a kiss.

You peck him quickly and clear your throat, “I don’t know when I’ll be home.”

“I’ll be here _all_ day.” he says, giving you another small smile. He rubs his thumb against the apple of your cheek and leans in to kiss you again, this time with a little more passion from the both of you, “Have a good day, I love you.”

“I love you, too.” you say and quickly get in the car, and he leans in the window again to kiss your cheek. “Try to get a little rest, okay?”

“I love you so much.” he whispers again with his forehead against your cheek, then he pecks your cheek and he walks back into the house, shutting the door behind him.

“That was…” Tess exhales as she backs out of the driveway and pulls onto the street. She looks over at you and fans herself, “Whew, I could…wow, I’m…”

You let out a weak laugh as you look over at her, “What?”

“Like…” Tess struggles to find the words, then she laughs like a giddy schoolgirl, “That was so sweet.”

“He’s just trying to cheer me up because he knows I’m beating myself up.” you exhale loudly, “I could do the worst thing imaginable to him and he’d forgive me, but if I talked badly to myself, he’d give me a whole lecture as to why I shouldn’t.”

“Do you want to talk about it? The pregnancy test thing?”

You shake your head, “Not right now. I just need to get through this meeting without crying first.”

__

Tess ate every snack you gave her during the meeting, and after the meeting she  _insisted_ you go with her to pick out some clothes. Half way through shopping, Tess told you that she was starving again, and what she wanted more than anything was a chicken panini from Florence’s cafe, which is, of course, across town.

You’re sitting outside on the patio of the cafe, watching Tess as she devours half of her panini in almost 30 seconds. You lean your hand against your fist and pick at your plate. You know you need to go home and talk to John, but you can’t forgive yourself for how you were acting. You know you’re still upset about him not coming home, but in the end, this was all your doing.

“Guess that’s a no.” you sigh, and Tess looks up at you in confusion. “Bernard. He’s turning down everyone who offers to buy the shop.”

“Yeah,” Tess nods, “I mean, I didn’t really like that woman. She was kind of snotty to me, so I don’t know how I’d feel having her as a boss.”

“I wonder if there’s like an ideal person that he wants to buy it.” you sit back in your chair and cross your arms, “If I could afford it, I’d love to own the shop.”

“Wouldn’t that be amazing?” Tess laughs with her mouth full, “Us owning the shop? So cool.”

You sigh loudly and nod your head, and when you look over Tess’ shoulder, you see John’s car parked outside of the pet store across the street. You put your hand up to shield the sun, and you squint your eyes a little to see John getting in the car. As soon as it roars to life, Tess looks over her shoulder and yells loudly at John to get his attention.

“John!” she yells, waving wildly, “Hey! Hey, John!”

He pulls up to the side of the street and waves, “Hey, girls.”

“Join us!” Tess waves him over, then looks back and forth between the two of you, “Oh, I mean, if you want.”

You shrug, “Sure.”

Your town is small, so running into John isn’t a surprise, but you are a little surprised when he drives off. You weren’t opposed to John joining the two of you, sure you’re in a fight, but you wouldn’t mind if he wanted to join you for lunch.

“What the hell?” Tess frowns and looks at you in confusion when you start to laugh.

“I don’t know why I’m laughing, that was just…shocking. Wow.” you put your head in your hands and continue laughing.

You know John is upset at you, but you thought he’d at least say goodbye, especially after how he was acting this morning. You feel a warm hand on your back, and you look up to John standing next to you.

“I parked around the corner, I can’t stay for long though. I gotta run into the city for a few things, but I just stopped at the pet store to get some food for Bleu.” he says and pulls up a chair next to you.

“What are you gettin’?” Tess asks as she begins to stuff her face again.

“Oh,” John shrugs, “Just some stuff for work.”

“Ooh,” Tess’ eyes grow wide and she leans closer, “Like guns?”

“No, like bookbinding stuff.” he chuckles, looking over at you. Holding your gaze for a moment, he reaches for your hand and smiles, “What are you eating?”

“Strawberry avocado spinach salad with chicken.” you stab a piece of strawberry and chicken with your fork and hold it up to John’s mouth, “I know you want a bite. You  _always_ take a bite of it when I order it.”

John takes the fork from you and takes a few bites of your salad, “You always pick out the avocado. You could just order it without avocado, baby.”

“Too much work for me today.” you say and lean back in your chair.

He wipes his mouth with a napkin and sighs, “Ishould head out, I wanna beat the traffic.”

“I can walk you to your car.” you say and look over at Tess, “I’ll be right back.”

Walking with John, he reaches over for your hand, and you lean against his shoulder as you wrap your other hand around his bicep. He stops at the car and cups your face, “I love you.”

“I love you, too.” you look up at John, then lean your head against his chest, “I think Tess still wants to go to a few other places, but I should be home in a few hours.”

“I’ll probably beat you home.” he says, letting go of you and opening his car door.

“Probably.” you let out a small laugh and hug him again before he gets in the car.

“Hey, I, uh…saw your suitcase on the bed.” he says and looks down as he plays with his keys, “Are you going to stay with your mom?”

“What?” you shake your head, “No, I wasn’t planning on going anywhere.”

“Oh, I just saw your suitcase on the bed. I figured you were planning on leaving or something.” he looks up at you with sad eyes and shrugs, “I thought you were leaving  _me_.”

“No. Jonathan, I’m not leaving.” you say as you open the door. You sit on John’s lap and wrap your arms around each other as you kiss him tenderly. You stick your foot up and look at your shoes, “I was looking through the closet for my shoes and my suitcase was in the way.”

“So I can relax?”

“You can relax, I’m coming home.” you smile for a moment, then it fades.

He rubs the back of his hand against your cheek, and he smiles as he leans back in to kiss you again. “Stop beating yourself up. We’ll be okay.”

“I hope so.” you whisper as you get out of the car. “I’ll see you at home.”

“Okay,” he nods and shuts his door again. He reaches for your hand and tugs your fingers, “ _Please_  don’t forget how much I love you.”

“I love you too, John.” you back away and head back to Tess, who is now picking the pieces of chicken out of your salad.  _“Hey!_ ”

“Sorry!” she laughs, then quickly takes a few pieces of chicken and eats them. “So, how’s it going? Do you want to finally talk about it? You’re miserable.”

You shrug as you sit down again, “Well, after you left, he…went through the trash and found the test. I was upset because I mean, it’s kind of an invasion of privacy, right? He threw it in my face that it’s  _his_  house.”

Tess sucks in a breath through her teeth, wincing, “Ouch.”

“Yeah, he was an ass.” you laugh and sit back in your chair, “He didn’t mean it, I know he didn’t. Still sucks though. Anyway, he asked if I was going to tell him and I told him that I probably wasn’t going to, then he stormed out and never came home. I know I should have told him. He just…left though. Had he just sat down with me, we could have talked about it.”

Tess nods her head and looks down at her lap, “Yeah…”

“What?”

Tess looks up at you and gives you a small smile, “He stayed at our place last night.”

“He did?” You feel relief knowing John stayed with Tess, you’d rather he stayed with them than just sleeping in the car.

“Yeah, he showed up around midnight. Jimmy and him sat on the couch talking for like two hours. The way he talks about you. _Wow_.” Tess shakes her head and smiles, “And the way he was looking at you this morning, it even gave  _me_  chills. He’s literally head over heels in love with you, he  _worships_  you. And last night, I could see it on his face and hear it in his voice.”

“You talked to him?” you look at Tess, and she reaches across the table for your hand.

“I stayed up with John for a little bit after Jimmy went to bed.” she points at her belly and laughs, “This baby is  _not_  letting me sleep. But we stayed up and talked for a little longer.”

“Really?”

“Really. Well,  _I_  talked and he listened. Okay, he talked too. He’s a  _very_ interesting guy. And he’s absolutely head over heels in love with you. I’m so jealous by how…deep his love for you is. It’s  _amazing_  that you found someone like him. He loves you so fucking much, oh my god.” she leans back against the chair and laughs.

“Still don’t understand why. I’m boring and annoying, and honestly I was a  _bitch_ this morning.” you laugh a little, which feels good even if it’s at your own expense. “I’m sure he was shocked by how I was acting, I was even a little shocked.”

“You’re none of those things. You’re upset, I’m sure John can understand that.”

“Yeah, but I really shouldn’t have taken my anger out on him. Especially since I got on him for doing it to me.” you say, shrugging.

“Listen, you offer him stability, a chance for a normal life and you’re so sweet to him. You’re funny, absolutely adorable, and you’re an amazing person. You have a lot to offer, I don’t know why you can’t see that.”

You look over at Tess and roll your eyes, “Okay.”

“I’m just telling you the truth.”

“It still hurts to know he didn’t come home.” you rest your head on your hand and sigh, “I think him not coming home and ignoring my calls is what is pissing me off the most. I understand why he’s upset about the pregnancy test, and I agree with him, I should have told him. I just hate that he felt like he couldn’t come home. It’s my fault, to be honest.”

“I wouldn’t say it’s entirely your fault. He could have went home, but he didn’t. He made this worse by not going home and trust me, I told him that.”

“Did he mention  _why_ he didn’t come home?” you ask and look over at Tess.

“He just said he wanted to give you space.” she shrugs, “I told him it was a terrible idea. I told him that I know you better than anyone, and I know that what you needed in that moment was him.”

You look down at Tess’ belly and decide to change the subject, “You really are getting a belly now. It’s so cute.”

“Jimmy won’t stop taking pictures, he’s so happy.” Tess laughs and puts her hands on her belly, “John was asking about the baby last night. He even asked if he could see my ultrasound pictures.”

You look up at Tess and raise your eyebrow, “Your point?”

Tess puts her hands up in defense and laughs, “No point. I’m just sayin’ that he asked about the baby and had a genuine curiosity about everything.” she grabs her purse for her wallet and throws a two 20 dollar bills on the table, “I’m just saying that…he’s gonna be a great dad.”

“Tess!”

 _“I’m just saying!”_  she laughs as she stands up, “You could just, ya know, go home and talk to him.  _He wants to talk to you._ That man who just showed up here is a man who is  _desperate_  to talk things through with someone he loves.”

“I know, it’s just now  _I_  feel like I need space. I’m just punishing myself now by not talking to him, making myself feel as bad as he feels. And the way I talked to him this morning…” your hands shake a little, and you look down the street and see Matt walking closer. “Oh, my god. It’s…”

“Matt.” Tess starts to laugh and you see flowers in his hand. “Wonder what he wants.”

“Is he following me now?”

_This day could not get any worse._

“Maybe he works over here.” Tess laughs and looks over at him as he gets closer.

It’s been a few weeks since her wedding, but he still has bruising on his face, and you try not to stare too long. He has a bouquet of flowers in hands and he stops at the table, and you quickly stand up.

“Hey, I just saw you sitting out here by yourself, and so I…got you these flowers.” he says, handing Tess the flowers.

Tess takes the flowers from him and she looks at you, “Um…a little creepy, to be honest. I don’t even know you.”

“I just wanted to apologize for how I acted at your wedding. I was having a rough couple of weeks with work and everything. I was being incredibly rude, and I didn’t think about how it would affect your day, which I hope it didn’t.”

“Well, it wasn’t really what I had in mind when I thought about my wedding day.” Tess says and looks down at the flowers, “I mean, you did something pretty shitty. Flowers won’t really make up for that.”

Matt shuffles in place for a moment and runs his fingers through his hair, “Again, I’m–”

“You’re sorry, yeah, we’ve established that. But are you sorry for what happened, or are you sorry that you got caught?”

“I…” Matt becomes flustered and he nods, “You’re right.”

“Anyway, I’m not really the person you should even be apologizing to.” Tess says, gesturing to you. “You went to  _her_  house and you were inappropriate with  _her_. You said terrible things to her and her boyfriend to try and put a wedge between them…so you could have her.”

“Tess…” you tap her arm to get her stop, but she continues.

“Which makes absolutely no sense.” she says and shakes her head. “You went out  _one time,_ and she never called you again. She literally told you that it wasn’t going to work out between the two of you. Take a hint, dude.”

“Um…” you look at the ground, then up at Matt, who is keeping his focus on Tess. “John told you not to come near me, you know what he said would happen if you did…”

“I didn’t know you were here.” he says, reluctantly looking over at you.

You scoff loudly and shake your head, “ _Bullshit_. Tess and I have been sitting here for about an hour. I left for five minutes, there’s no way you didn’t know I was here.”

“I didn’t.” he says, gritting his teeth a little, which pisses Tess off beyond belief. “Look what your boyfriend did to my face, do you really think I’d come near you again? Look at my  _face_.”

“Okay, and? He had  _every_  right.” you say, taking a step closer and challenging Matt, “Do I need to remind you of what he said to you that night? I can call him and have him come down here. He’d be here within a minute.”

Tess laughs as she watches Matt’s eyes grow wide, “You’re not going to sit here and play the victim. I’m sure it’s gotten you off the hook before, but it won’t this time. Seriously, take a fucking hint. She doesn’t like you!”

“I…I really don’t.” you grimace. You know it’s not nice to be brutally honest, but maybe it’s the only way to get through to Matt. “I never did. I only went out with you to get a reaction from John. It was never anything more for me. You were actually incredibly rude, and you were way too…nosey. You need to learn the dating 101s or something, because asking about your dates ex is  _not_  the way to go.”

“Again, you’re right.”

“Oh, I absolutely am.” you say, and Matt shuffles in place a little. “Fuck off, Matt.”

Matt nods his head and clears his throat. He’s embarrassed as hell, but you feel damn good. He nods his head again as he backs away from you, then he turns and walks quickly down the street, turning the corner.

“What the fuck?” you laugh and reach out for the door of Tess’ car.

Tess covers her mouth as she laughs, “What did John say to him?”

“You weren’t outside with us, but John told him how if he ever sees me or talks to me that he’ll basically…kill him.” you laugh and put your hand over your mouth.

“Good for John.” she says as she walks over to the car.

__

As Tess pulls onto your street, you see John at the mailbox talking to a woman. She’s laughing obnoxiously and touching his arm a little too much for your comfort. He leans against the mailbox and the woman scoots closer to him, clearly interested in him, but you can see the feelings aren’t reciprocated. Tess gasps when she sees and slams on the brakes.

“Uh,” she turns to you and reaches out to touch your arm. “Should I…oh, my god, is he flirting with her?”

You start to laugh, “No, he’s not flirting with her, but she’s  _definitely_  flirting with him though. Look at how she’s touching his arm. Literally what I did one of the first times I talked to him.”

“Can’t say I blame her, his arms look really good in that shirt.”

“You can just drop me off there.” you say, pointing at the driveway.

“Will you take these?” she hands you the flowers and laughs. “Just…throw them in the garbage. I don’t want to have to explain it to Jimmy.”

Tess pulls in front of the driveway, and you hop out with your shopping bags and the flowers. The woman turns to you and smiles before looking back to John, telling him about something that he clearly has no interest in since he’s staring at you.

Bleu runs up to greet you and you lean down, kissing him on top of his head, “Hi, baby.”

The woman is still talking John’s ear off, but when she realizes he’s not paying attention, she taps his shoulder, “Hey…”

John looks over at her and apologizes, “I’m…I’m sorry, I wasn’t listening.”

“That’s okay!” she laughs obnoxiously and scoots closer to him, and you feel the sudden urge to shove her away.

You wouldn’t consider yourself a jealous person, and you feel pretty confident in your relationship with John, but the way this woman is looking at him is filling you with rage.

She smiles wide and takes a deep breath to continue her story. When she looks away, John looks at you, almost begging for your help. He’s just too nice for his own good sometimes. Even though you’re upset with each other, you know what you need to do.

You walk over to John and grab the back of his neck to pull him closer, and you kiss him hard on the lips. He opens his mouth as you slide your tongue against his, and you open your eyes to see the woman watching in shock. You drop your bags to the ground and feel John’s hands slowly sliding to your ass.

Finally  _really_  kissing John after a fight is nearly making you melt, and same with John. He pulls back a little to look at you, then he smiles as he leans in to kiss you again, and you wrap your arms around his neck, moving your hand into his hair and deepening the kiss. If it weren’t for the dress you’re wearing, you’d wrap your legs around his waist and let him carry you inside.

You peek your eye open to see the woman still watching the two of you, but you know the longer you sit and make out with John, the more likely he is to grow hard in his pants and embarrass himself. The woman’s face is as red as a tomato, and you know your job here is done.

“Mmm,” you hum and suck on your bottom lip, then lean down to grab your bags again, “Let’s go inside, baby.”

“Yeah…” John nods and follows behind you like a puppy, leaving the woman stunned and speechless.

As you start your way up the driveway, John wraps his arms around your waist and you look over your shoulder at him. He’s trying his hardest not to grin from ear to ear, but when you make eye contact, he laughs a little.

Turning around, you place your hand on John’s chest and sigh, “I don’t want to talk right now. I still need…time.”

“Well, whenever you’re ready.” he says and opens the front door for you.

John bumps into your backside as you bend over to take off your shoes, and you stand up straight to look at him, “Really?”

“I’m sorry,” he laughs, and his smile makes you want to melt into the floor. “I didn’t mean to.”

You sigh deeply and reach for John’s hand, “Just give me a little time. I just need a little space right now. I just need to figure things out in my head for a bit.”

“Of course.” John nods and kisses you on the forehead quickly as he moves past you and into the kitchen. When you walk past John, he grabs your arm and cups your cheek, “Don’t go upstairs and beat yourself up.”

“Why do you know me so well?” you lean against John’s chest and sigh.

“I’m here when you’re ready, okay?”

You head for your bedroom to change your clothes, and you silently scold yourself the entire time. Whenever you have a fight with John, it’s usually settled quickly. You hate confrontation and you hate fighting with  _anyone,_  so the fact that you’re fighting with John makes it so much worse.

You’re beating yourself up and making yourself miserable, and that’s making John miserable as well. He’s ready to talk to you and work things out, so he’s clearly not mad at you anymore. You just don’t want to continue fighting with John, you want things to go back to normal.

You pull some shorts on and sit on the edge of the bed as you think. You look over at Bleu as he lays down next to you and he tilts his head when you start to talk to him.

“I should just go talk to him now, huh?” you say, and Bleu whines. “Yeah, I know. I need to talk to him.”

You head back downstairs and start the search for John when you see he isn’t sitting in the living room. You check his office first, but he’s not there. Then you check the guest bedroom, kitchen, and backyard, but you still can’t find him. You reach into your pocket for your phone but you remember you left it in your purse upstairs, so you grab the landline and dial John’s number.

“Hello?”

“Oh, uh, where are you?” you ask, looking around the kitchen again.

“The patio.” he says and groans as he gets up. He knocks on the window and you turn around to see him waving. “Why are you on the landline?”

“Oh! The _side_ patio. Didn’t even bother to check there.” you let out a small laugh and wave back, ”My phone is upstairs and I was too lazy to go get it.”

John laughs and nods his head, “Understandable. I can’t believe you even know my number by heart. Kinda cute.”

You give John a small shrug, then you smile, “Memorized it the day you gave it to me.”

“Okay, well, that’s  _very_  cute.”

Holding John’s gaze from across the room, you lean against the door frame and twist the phone cord around your finger, “I think it’s time we talk.”


End file.
